There are billions of galaxies in the universe, brother.
So what?
And in each galaxy, there are billions of stars.
Around each star, there are numerous planets.
Get to the point!
My point is, you could have been born anywhere in the cosmos,
but you're here instead!
Mind your language, brother. This land is ours!
No. This land is...
These hateful voices may have disturbed you.
There's peace and brotherhood where you are.
But elsewhere, in one corner of the world,
violence and rioting is a way of life.
Bullets, bombs, and hostility are normal here.
Perhaps this is why the place is now known as
Bangistan.
Behold, the icy peaks of North Bangistan.
The man who was addressing the other as brother lives here.
This place is freezing cold,
but he is always hotheaded.
The other man hails from South Bangistan.
White doves, the symbol of peace, abound here.
So it's a pity there's no peace.
But in their midst are two friends
who still believe that peace can be reached through cooperation.
We know them as Shankaracharya and Imam.
Allahu Akbar.
-Please leave me alone. -Okay.
Peace and blessings of God
be unto you.
Greetings, Shankaracharya.
I hope I'm not disturbing you.
Imam, I don't mind leaving the prayer service midway.
You must have heard about the riots.
Yes, Imam.
People are being misled in the name of religion everwhere.
They don't understand.
We can help them understand.
If we start preaching peace together, they will surely understand.
The World Religions Conference will be held in Poland in a few months.
How about addressing the people from there?
This sounds like a good plan.
Let's prepare a proposal
and send it to the participants in the conference.
Let's do it.
Let's see, I've got everyone covered except...
Would you happen to have the new Pope's email?
Email? In fact, the Pope and I follow each other on Twitter.
We direct message each other.
Get yourself a Twitter account, or you'll be outdated.
As you command.
-Rascal. He was flirting. -Don't bother.
I'm done with today's task.
Haatim, I've told you not to call me on this number.
I cannot answer calls,
only make calls.
Yes, I'll see you at the meeting.
Harold!
How long should we bear the insults?
Can the world call Muslims terrorists?
How did the client know that you're a Muslim?
Work on your accent, Harold.
I've changed my name and accent for work,
not my religion.
I am and will be a proud Muslim.
I'm quitting this job.
Harold.
Four lattes for you, sir.
NAV KAMAL TIMES
Shankaracharya has ruined everything.
Had the riots continued till the election, we would have certainly won.
It's easy to kick off a riot.
We'll burn a couple houses during elections.
You can't handle this.
Burn at least a dozen houses.
Shut up! Idiots!
Let's go international.
Learn from the enemy.
He has captured the world's attention!
We'll have to create an explosion at this conference.
We must alter our strategy if we want to win the election.
We need to sacrifice!
Sacrifice?
I'll stop at nothing to achieve this.
Nobody dares stop me!
There will be bloodshed--
Sir, this is quite a conspiracy.
This is no conspiracy, man.
This is politics.
Do you know that local stud who is dying to serve the party?
Let's use him.
A fierce war was fought Only for you, O Sita!
The battle raged night and day Only for you, O Sita!
O Lord Hanumana! Come, save Laxmana's soul!
Hanumana sets off to Sumeru Hills
-to get the sacred herb. -Hail Lord Rama!
Set forth, O Hanumana!
Hail Lord Rama!
The Lord has set off on his quest!
How did it go, brother?
It was horrible!
Despite the free tickets,
there were more people on the stage than in the audience.
Once I become a superstar,
people will shell out money to watch me.
People are not venturing out because of the riots.
It wasn't a riot. It was revenge this time.
This time, we didn't remain docile.
You don't mean that, bro.
I mean every word of it.
These people live in our city, feed off us and rule over us.
The government and the media favor them. Who cares for us?
If this continues, we won't be the majority anymore.
That's good. Then the government will start favoring you.
You have ten heads, but not a single brain.
You are mindlessly following that Guru.
Another word against him and I'll smash your head!
Hey!
Have you gone mad?
That guru is a charlatan!
Help! Someone help!
-Let go of him! -Stop it!
How dare you insult him?
I would kill and be killed for Guruji!
He's an angel!
Restrain him.
Damn you!
Hafeez Bin Ali,
please come to the rear entrance. You are awaited.
Hafeez, let's go.
Brother Haatim.
The meeting cannot be held here.
Dad has shifted the venue.
-To where? -Come with me.
Here?
Follow me.
Harold has arrived.
Get me a BigFac first.
Go on, get in the line.
A few cups of the chutney.
I'm sick of waiting. Give my coffee!
Right away, brother.
Excuse me!
-A few cups of the chutney, please. -Thank you.
We must convince him to organize all the meetings here.
Yes, there's nothing at the mosques.
Show us the poster.
Such a bad quality print.
-He can only serve the whites. -Hello, hello, ring ring
He's lazy when it comes to serving the community.
No, Omar.
Enjoy your burger.
Harold.
Please call me Hafeez.
I have quit my job.
You didn't quit the job, Hafeez.
It was Allah's will.
It is time for you to join your brothers
and dedicate yourself to Al Kaam Tamaam.
He is not fit to work for Al Kaam Tamaam.
He couldn't even get a good quality print of the poster.
Show it.
It's not his fault, Zulfi.
His colleagues at the call center
have brainwashed him.
All this is American propaganda, my boys.
What have the Americans given the world?
Idiot! That's the regular one!
I asked for diet cola!
The Americans are deceitful by nature.
Those rascals killed our dear Osama.
This is our opportunity
to make Al Kaam Tamaam superior to Al Qaeda.
And take Osama's place.
What is the way forward?
Oh Guruji
In life or death
I seek refuge in him
I'm off to meet him
My one and only Guruji!
My heart beats only for him
My one and only Guruji!
Oh Guruji
I bow to you, Guruji.
This is a dream come true.
I truly believe in your party,
Maa Ka Dal.
I am merely the founder.
It is the workers who bring glory to the party.
You have inspired me.
September 6, 1992.
-Did you hear it? -What?
Nation building. Hindu unity.
Jasmines, lotuses, marigolds, lilies, and tulips
All flowers stringed in one garland!
Did you hear me that day?
Not just that day,
I also heard you on February 27, 2002.
And on April 8, 2006.
December 29, 2008.
I've heard all your speeches.
Your words are very inspirational, filled with power.
They pierce hearts like an arrow.
They ignite passion in men.
The soul is set ablaze, ready to jump into action.
Your speeches have inspired me
to thrash a couple of our enemies every time!
Guruji, we've found our man.
He can't handle this.
He's only thrashed a few.
Hey, Guruji has picked this man.
Our party is under threat and he will save us.
Guruji, is the party facing trouble?
Imam is ready to embrace the enemy.
He is wasting the sacrifices of our Muslim brothers.
He wants to feed the peace doves.
Eat it...
At your command, Guruji. I will raise an army for you.
This battle will be won by conspiracy,
not an army.
But the Quran asks us to regard everyone as our brother--
We consider them as our brothers, Hafeez.
But this isn't reciprocated.
How was the show yesterday, Praveen?
Great, Guruji.
How many people showed up?
You are meant for greater things, Praveen Chaturvedi.
The party needs you today
to come to power!
Fancy a trip abroad?
Abroad?
There's a beautiful city,
Krakow.
-There... -We must establish our might.
One of you must sacrifice your life for this cause.
You must sacrifice yourself!
We must create mayhem!
-Al Kaam Tamaam! -Al Kaam Tamaam!
This will be the best and last performance of your life!
Who wants to sacrifice?
The door to heaven awaits, and the key to that door
will be presented to one of you.
In heaven, you will get
platters filled with delicious sweets,
majestic desert with golden sand,
a thousand and one enticing camels,
51 Arab horses,
72 beautiful virgins,
-untouched and full of grace. -Oh my God!
Patience, my boy!
I might nominate myself.
For this glorious mission I have chosen...
-Pick me. -Me!
Hafeez Bin Ali!
At your service.
-Glory to Maa Ka Dal! -Glory to Maa Ka Dal!
I've picked Hafeez after careful consideration.
He speaks English
and talks to foreigners everyday.
Behold his beard,
longer than anyone else's.
Will the bomb be in his beard?
I'll show you whose beard is longer.
Idiot!
Hafeez will handle the job.
Right, Hafeez?
Yes.
Hafeez.
Take this.
I found only these in the library.
The British compiled these about the enemies 200 years ago.
Excuse me, shouldn't we be reading the Quran?
This is known as taqiyah, my child.
In times of grave danger,
to defeat the enemies, you must become one of them.
However,
you'll bomb the conference
as a sincere Muslim.
I won't become an engineer I won't become a dentist
Mom, I promise you I will become a terrorist
Friends and brothers, I will kill everyone
I have faith, full faith
Revolution, revolution
I will bring about revolution On the last day
Revolution, revolution
I will bring about revolution On the last day
"Chapter 16: Love and kindness towards all living beings."
"Verse 224: Love for humanity and forgiveness."
I have just one aim, complete mayhem
Every terrorist is my role model
Terrorists always win History is our witness
I have faith, full faith
Revolution, revolution
I will bring about revolution On the last day
Revolution, Revolution
I will bring about revolution On the last day
Praveen, what's wrong with you?
You have to spread our ideology,
but you're losing your own identity!
Fooled you, didn't I, Guruji?
Uncle Mareech.
Uncle Mareech?
Haven't you read the Ramayana?
Uncle Mareech disguised himself as a golden deer,
and altered the course of the Ramayana.
Similarly, I will disguise myself and fool the enemy.
This is known as method acting.
If I'm caught before the mission is complete,
no one will suspect you and the party will be safe.
Once the stage is smeared with blood,
drop the curtains and dim the lights.
I'll have won my Academy Award.
God bless you, my boy.
I told you.
Dark days and black nights That's all we'll see
We will quell the enemy
Blood will quench this insatiable thirst
I have the faith, full faith
Revolution, revolution
I will bring revolution on my last day.
Revolution, Revolution...
Hail Lord!
Kill him.
Yay! He's dead.
What's this?
I will bring revolution on my last day
Revolution, revolution
I will bring revolution on my last day
Aren't you done yet?
Deep voice and good height don't make every man Amitabh Bachchan.
You don't need talent to play the monkey in a local drama.
Calm down, you're always yelling at the poor boy.
Why shouldn't I?
He told us yesterday about this trip.
Might as well have told us from there.
He treats this home as a motel.
Uncle,
please get these things for me.
-Yes, my dear. -Thank you, Uncle.
Yes, be blessed.
Come back soon, son.
Is everything alright?
Take care of yourself, Mom.
Come, my dear father.
Promise you won't peek.
One, two, three, four.
-Where have you boys brought me? -You'll love this, wait.
And... "open sesame."
What happened?
The enemy.
Father?
Excellent.
If I couldn't recognize you, my child,
there's no way our enemies will.
You are going to lay the foundation of Al Kaam Tamaam.
All the headlines Will carry only my message
The whole world will know my name
I will be surrounded by angels and virgins
I have the faith, full faith
Revolution, revolution
I will bring revolution on my last day
Revolution, revolution
I will bring revolution on my last day
Allahrakha Khan.
Go on, brother, go on.
You must search us thoroughly.
I suggest you leave no stone unturned.
The whole world is suspicious of us.
You must make sure we are clean.
Am I correct, my friend?
You are absolutely wrong.
Aren't Muslims human too?
Ishwarchand Sharma
Don't worry about me, brother.
Do your job, Sir.
I think Hindus should also be checked.
No, bro, Muslims will be checked first.
-Hindus first. -Muslims first.
-Hindus. -Muslims.
All Muslims should be searched from their clothes to their soul.
In that case, Hindus will be checked the same way.
Even our tradition says that Hindus and Muslims are like brothers.
Here you are, Sir.
Henceforth, all Muslims will undergo complete checks.
As will the Hindus.
Ishwarchand Sharma?
Tamim Hussain?
So you're Muslim, Mr. Hussain?
I'm a foreigner. A white man.
I moved here from Bangladesh 15 years ago.
Take my visiting card.
If there's any trouble, call me.
So, what brings you to Poland?
I'm in search of heaven.
Ah, I'll show you heaven.
Hey bro, where are you going?
-You owe me 50zł. -50?
You would've paid double for a taxi, plus extra for luggage.
You're lucky I'm kind enough to give you a discount.
-Ten more. -Why?
You have to tip people here.
Five more.
Oh, it's you.
And you.
Why are you so surprised?
All brown, third-world visitors end up here.
We could've shared a ride here.
We've already introduced ourselves openly at the airport.
Hello there, Mr. Wildfried.
Two customers in one day.
You lucky old pomeranian, Wildfried.
Ishwarchand Sharma.
Right?
200zł in advance.
What a tip!
Salaam Alaikum.
There's a newbie. We'll leave it with him.
Take care.
I don't know if we will meet again.
Pay up. Who'll pay your two days' rent?
Rosie asks me about it every day!
So, how do you like it?
You've got a great deal, you know.
A Krakow duplex at this price?
Look up.
And take care not to fall in there.
-Excuse me. -Nice. It's the best.
Did you hear?
Someone passed away in your society.
He was a Hindu.
So?
What do you mean?
-Aren't you a Hindu too? -Yes.
This is your chance to make some local contacts.
But I was just leaving to get some things.
I'll get them for you. You only have to tip me.
No, I have to go myself.
Then go later.
In an emergency,
only local friends can help you, right?
"Salute to Lord Brahma,
to all the saints, Sanakadi.
Here comes the soul,
from this universe."
-Greetings, Sir. -Greetings.
Such devotion.
Who says that our traditions are lost?
The deceased will now forever rest in peace.
"The Gods are benevolent.
Salute Lord Brahma!
Let there be peace."
Priest, shall we proceed?
Yes.
These foreigners are technologically way ahead of us.
Even this funeral will take no time and cause no pollution.
No, Sir. A holy wooden pyre is unique.
Traditions and rituals are important
Priest, please come with me.
Priest, pay no attention to these people.
They have no understanding of our culture.
I have a small request.
Please conduct the rites today.
Please summon the widow.
Why is she not ready yet?
Her husband is dead and she's very old now.
-Why bother? -What do you mean?
She is supposed to be dressed her best for the Sati.
Sati!
Two people can't even fit in this contraption.
On a traditional wooden pyre, she would've easily immolated herself.
Anyway, I'll have her seated.
Move out of the way, please.
Put one leg here, Ma'am. Breathe deeply.
No. You better get some rest. Ma'am, you come.
-I'll perform the rites. -I can...
Salute to Lord Indra.
Salute to eternity.
Tradition is truly lost.
Hey bro,
are you returning from a temple? Found one already?
I'm in a hurry to make a phone call
-Me too. Let's go together. -I need some clothes.
-Take my jacket, I have two. -There's no need--
-No, I insist. -Please listen to me...
You look great, like a fresh eggplant.
Eggplant?
These clothes are so weird.
Salaam Alaikum Abba.
Alaikum salaam. How are you?
I'm great. This city is awesome.
You're touring the city?
I got stuck somewhere. In the society--
Hafeez, you are not there on a vacation.
There's no time to waste.
Relax, Guruji.
Guruji, ask about the bomb.
Have you bought the explosives?
I'm just about to.
You will bring glory to Al Kaam Tamaam.
With your blessing, Maa Ka Dal will be world famous someday.
-Khuda haafiz, Abba. -Hafeez...
Hail Goddess, Abba.
Khuda haafiz.
Guruji, a great actor lives his character.
Okay, take care.
-Careful, my boy! -Yes, careful.
I can't park it.
Mr. Missile Bobbitsky?
Yes, Mikhail Bobbitsky.
I'm Ishwarchand Sharma.
I'm Allahrakha Khan.
Are you Huang Changping?
It is my privilege to host you, Sir.
I'm very pleased to meet you.
I hope you had no trouble in finding my humble abode.
No.
No. But, do you speak Urdu?
A good salesman
knows the customer's language, Sir.
Cousin.
Welcome to Mikhail Bobbitsky's Bombs n' Roses.
It will shake you up.
Are you looking for a bomb that will solve all your problems?
Then, your search ends here.
Cindy, no praise is enough for this product.
Here are some customers' reviews.
It doesn't pay to be cheap
In 1999... Be quiet!
I bought a suicide bomb from * Ltd.
The mission failed and I lost an arm.
Have some tea.
Could you show me a sample of the product?
Would you explode here or outside?
This is not a present for your wife that you can sample.
This is a suicide bomb.
How exactly will you sample it?
But, what if--
Don't worry about the explosion.
Even our mobile phones explode spontaneously.
This looks like orange juice.
Will it work?
Chinese goods, bro. Judge it only on performance.
It will blow you to pieces.
You're getting a bomb at the cost of a sparkler,
it's a great deal.
If I had listened to my brother and avoided a cheap bomb,
I would've been a martyr like him.
-Did you hear that, Cindy? -Yes, Tom.
Order now.
The price is on your screen,
With a discount!
The Chinese don't bow.
That is a Japanese custom.
They just don't listen.
They're playing with a ball of RDX.
Here are the assembly instructions.
I'm talkin 'bout a revolution
No peace
Only revolution
No peace
Only revolution
Mr. Khan,
isn't your beard a little short?
All beards need not be honeycombs.
-What does a long beard accomplish? -What?
Cries of Jihad do not make a good Muslim.
As a Muslim, how can you--
You worry too much for Muslims.
You got angry at the airport as well.
Take care of Hindus. Muslims will worry about themselves.
Ah, here it is.
Bull and boar.
Wilfred was talking about this place.
This looks like a bar.
So what?
A true Muslim doesn't go to a bar.
Isn't alcohol prohibited in your religion?
Well, you can have some.
I have never touched alcohol in my life.
Such devotion.
I'm starving, come on.
This is such a strange place!
This is a great place!
Based on the facade, you can't even guess what's inside.
You're such an odd Muslim.
You're having so much fun here, and you were insulting jihad earlier.
Muslims have been attacked for so long.
-The Quran says-- -What does the Quran say?
The Quran...
The Quran speaks of jihad.
And what is jihad?
Jihad...
It's what the jihadis do.
I see. And what do the jihadis do?
How would I know? After all, I'm a Hindu.
But, as a Muslim, don't you know about jihad?
And the Quran?
The Quran says nothing of the sort.
You've been hoodwinked by hearsay.
Yes, the Quran says that jihad is a struggle.
But it is man's internal struggle against vice.
Most Muslims also do not understand the Quran. You're a Hindu.
Haven't you read the Gita?
-The Gita. -If you had, you'd know the truth.
Oh, really? How?
In the Gita, Krishna asks Arjun to fight for religion.
The Gita refers to righteousness, not religion.
Dukhesu anvighn manah, sukhesu vigatsparah,
Veet raga bhaya krodha, sthita dhir muni pujayate.
Lord Krishna says, "Hey Arjun!"
Yes, My Lord?
Don't get frustrated by sorrows, nor desire happiness.
The best human being is one who has vanquished love, fear, and anger.
The dharma that the Gita speaks of is not religion as we know it,
but victory of righteousness over inhumanity,
of virtue over vice,
of truth over falsehood.
Really?
Dzien Dobry.
It means good day in Polish.
Would you like me to recommend a dish?
You?
You're Wilfred's new tenants, right? Tamim told me.
Don't break his rules,
or else...
Won't you introduce yourselves?
Whatever you like.
Ishwarchand Sharma.
Ziemniak ze sledziem.
I'm vegetarian.
Come on bro, Rosie has served it with such love...
Here.
So, what brings you to Krakow?
I'm here to become famous.
How famous?
You'll know when my work is done.
In fact, the whole world will know.
Why, planning to blow something up?
What do you mean?
Just because he's a Muslim, he's a terrorist?
It's the same everywhere.
Aren't Muslims human too?
I'm sorry I upset you, Mr. Sharma.
Don't mind him Rosie, he's a Hindu.
He cannot tolerate insults,
even against Muslims.
-Salaam Alaikum. -Salaam Alaikum.
Alaikum salaam, friends. Everything okay?
Nothing is okay.
Please, show him.
What is this?
It's a lamb. We want to hide it here.
-Why? -Are you stupid?
We'll sacrifice it on Eid,
in a couple of days.
Unfortunately,
Wilfred doesn't allow us to keep lambs.
You're new here, so he won't suspect you.
Okay, I'll see you at the Eid feast.
God bless you.
And take care of the lamb. It's a royal breed.
-Goodbye, now. -Goodbye.
-Hey, wait! -Goodbye.
Amid gunfire and notes of war
Straightforward or complex
One and many, dazed and confused
Push and shove Look deep into the enemy's eye
Act on what the heart says
I will fight the world
Kill or die, I will do as I please
I'm not afraid of anyone
It's my story, and my own script
It's my right, and I own it
It's my take, nothing else matters
My thoughts and my wish
I will not cease, just keep pressing on
I will fight the world
This way or that, it doesn't matter how
The deed must be done
I wield all power and control
In a deck of cards, I'm the ace of spades
The evil eye talismans are of no use
I call the shots as I wish
I will suffer no more
I will fight the world
Oh no!
Hey, bro, meet my friends,
Willie and Bahadur.
It's Wai Kar Wong.
Jesus effin christ! What is this, Tamin?
Mr. Sharma.
New kids in town. Desis.
No, bro, you're overreacting. Let it go.
Don't get worked up. They're only kidding.
I'll see them off.
-Heathen. -Pest.
You two are clear now. Enjoy.
Are you tired, Bholu?
Want to sit here?
Move away.
Excuse me,
what brings you here, friend?
You're here too, bro?
-Come, let's chat. -No, some other time
Rosie was looking for you. Let's go meet her.
-Rosie? -Yes.
-Let's go, then. -Yes, let's go, quick.
Come Bholu, Rosie is desperate to meet us.
The Eid feast is coming up.
This lamb will be sacrificed in vain.
The Quran asks us to sacrifice something dear to our heart,
to understand the true meaning of loss.
That's a real sacrifice.
But these ignorant people just buy a lamb and sacrifice it on Eid.
It's cruel!
Are you talking to me?
Who are you talking to?
Me?
Well, there's no one else here.
Are you talking to me?
Me?
Don't worry, Bholu.
I'll destroy our common enemies with this bomb.
Here, you're a Hindu now.
At least you'll go to the heaven.
Eid Mubarak, friend.
Oh no!
It's Eid today.
Open the door, bro.
Bro...
Take care of Bholu. They're here to kill him.
What's taking you so long?
-Salaam Alaikum. -Alaikum salaam.
Allahrakha, you look great today.
You're strong and healthy. You've settled in well here.
Come, let's hug. Eid Mubarak!
Eid Mubarak! Eid Mubarak!
I can't see our lamb anywhere.
Have you feasted on it by yourself?
Brothers,
the lamb has ascended.
What? It ascended?
It ascended!
O Allah!
How can this be? The lamb was a royal breed.
What will we do now?
We are helpless. It's all Allah's will!
Bholu...
O Allah!
What a miracle!
We only shed a few tears and Allah sent us a lamb.
-God is kind! -God is kind!
Brothers,
what kind of a lamb is this?
It has a mark on its head.
The Hindu upstairs has converted it.
God grant me patience!
This infidel lamb cannot stay here.
Get out of here!
Get out!
-Let's go. -Let's go.
Hey Panditji, good I found you.
Swamiji is waiting for you at my place for dinner. What are you looking at?
Please come.
Those idiots were hugging me as if I were a groom.
If it weren't for the feast, I'd have blow them all up.
That would've been their Eid celebration.
The feast saved their lives.
Brother Ishwarchand.
Where are you?
Where did he go?
I can feel the presence of God here.
Tamin must've done this.
This...
How did you...
You giant precious hidden gem.
I know your secret.
I'm here for the same reason. I have a bomb too.
Here, this is my bomb's formula.
Not that, that's my niece's shopping list.
Come on, I'll show you my bomb.
-So... -So, you and I are on the same side.
Had I known earlier, it would've saved me all this pretense.
You turned out to be one of us.
You and I...
We're both...
You scared me.
But now that you know everything--
Say no more.
I've understood everything.
Just as the two of us stand united,
we want the people of the world to unite.
We have invited all the religious leaders of the world,
to the 13th World Religions Conference.
Hey!
Allahrakha, this is alcohol.
So what?
It is forbidden in our faith.
It is allowed in her faith.
It's a holy offering in Christianity.
I'm not a Christian.
-What? -What?
Isn't Rosie a Christian name?
What's in a name?
His name invokes Allah, and you're asking what's in a name?
Immediately, one knows that this man is a Muslim.
Just like Ishwarchand is Hindu.
I have no religion.
What?
No religion?
How can one live without faith?
All religions say the same thing.
Be a good person.
I try to do that all the time, anyway.
So what's the need for religion?
Isn't that enough?
Come on.
Have a drink with me. It's my parents' anniversary.
Let's go and meet them.
They aren't here.
You've hurt her feelings. You're so stubborn sometimes.
Only two days are left. Why hurt someone at the last moment.
She takes such good care of us,
even the Almighty would forgive a few sips.
You're so resolute!
Only two days are left anyway,
my brother.
You sure?
Let's go.
Here we go to party tonight
And forget all our worries
Everyone has the right to a hangover
Saturday night is fully booked
A blend of fun and intoxication
The end of all our worries
Everyone has the right to a hangover
Saturday night is fully booked
Live it up, shake it up
Paro to Devdas, logic to nonsense
Boring to awesome, serious to carefree
A blend of fun and intoxication
The end of all our worries
Everyone has the right to a hangover
Saturday night is fully booked
Live it up, shake it up
Cycle to metro, modern to retro
Gloomy to glitter, snail mail to Twitter
Take the voyage of dreams Saturday night is fully booked
A blend fun and intoxication
The end of all our worries
Everyone has the right to a hangover
Saturday night is fully booked
A blend of fun and intoxication
The end of all our worries
Everyone has the right to a hangover
Saturday night is fully booked
This is called a hangover.
If I may say so,
This is so jaded. Green is a weak colour.
Have some green tea.
Let this be.
What we had last night was a lot more fun.
Last night was fun.
We' don't have any more nights left to drink.
That was the last.
We'll never see Rosie again either.
Can I ask you a question?
-Heaven will be fun, right? -Yes, of course.
I mean, it must be.
Is there no guarantee?
Not in the scriptures.
Never mind the scriptures. They don't preach violence either.
So, then why are we...
The elders have taught us this. It must be right.
But the elders didn't tell us why the Almighty is so complicated.
Why not let us enjoy life on Earth?
Maybe last night was the Almighty's will as well?
Just that He gave us very little time.
He showed us all this,
and summoned us to Him so soon.
Don't be so disheartened.
Maybe He's only summoned me.
You stay here.
I will blow myself up.
No no, I will blow myself up.
You stay here,
and be with Rosie.
That sentiment is enough for me. I'll blow myself up.
I can't let you do that. I'll blow myself up.
-I have to go to swarg. -I have to go to jannat.
-Swarg awaits me. -Jannat awaits me too.
Stop saying jannat for heaven. That word is used by Muslims.
Why not? After all, we are Muslims.
Your dad might be a Muslim, idiot.
Yes, my dad is Muslim. My mom is Muslim.
My whole family is Muslim.
Like you, Allahrakha.
To hell with Allahrakha!
A beard doesn't make me a Muslim.
I am a Hindu.
My name is Praveen Chaturvedi.
And my name is Hafeez Bin Ali.
Traitor.
You betrayed me.
It is you who has betrayed me.
-I considered you a brother. -Me too.
You people cannot be trusted.
How dare you set off a bomb!
Look!
Hey!
This green colour... I should have known.
-Put that down. -You want me to?
Put that down.
Make me.
I'm going to destroy your bomb.
Leave the bomb! Leave it!
Let go of it!
I'll send you to heaven.
Two Bangistani youths are said to be involved in this.
Ishwarchand Sharma and Allahrakha Khan.
They have been arrested and are admitted...
...arrested, and until they go to trial they'll be at Mercy West Hospital.
-Let's go. -Let's go.
Other people are here too.
Those two were mad.
Bombed the place. Terrorists.
How do you know they're terrorists?
Did the bomb go off on it's own?
You don't know anything about terrorists.
But I do know those two.
Willie.
Guruji has reached Krakow. Everything will be okay.
Hail Maa Ka Dal!
I'll take him on now.
Hafeez.
Hafeez!
It's me, Haatim.
Salaam Alaikum, Hafeez.
I'm here now. Don't worry. Get some rest.
Couldn't wait to go to heaven, eh Hafeez?
You set off the bomb early.
Rest assured. The mission will be completed.
You don't have to do anything.
Zulfi will go in your place.
He was so adamant that Abba gave in.
Abba said, "Before Hafeez reveals the plan,
send him to heaven."
So I've come here.
I've got you a gift.
This is filled with air.
It's air! Bubble.
It's air!
Is your arm numb yet?
Calm down!
You're very lucky.
You're going to heaven. Yes.
Have patience, I'm doing it.
Yes, it's almost done.
Hey! What are you...
Yes, sure!
Those were the days When I was blissfully ignorant
I had no religion when I was a child
And when I got a religion
Innocence vanished
I broke all ties with my friend Of another faith
Is he dead or alive?
I have no word
Your God is not mine, my God is not yours
Your God is not mine
My God is not yours
Allah is almighty
Hail Lord Rama
Allah is almighty
Hail Lord Rama
I'm ready for a war
Armed with scripture
My last days will be spent in battle
It's in my blood to wield weapons
Heaven or Hell
Business reigns
I don't care how beautiful the world is
Your God is not mine
My God is not yours
Your God is not mine
My God is not yours
I won't let that bomb go off.
Our bomb will explode. Let my people come.
Nobody is coming
I risked my life to come.
Tamim, bro, you turned out to be a real surprise.
Don't call me bro! Don't talk to me.
Bloody terrorist.
You give all Muslims a bad name.
You are still on about the bomb.
Shame on you!
-But, who has sent you? -Enough.
I'll explain later.
Stop the car, Tamim.
Why?
I said, "Stop the car, Tamim."
Hey!
You Third World people! You can't take a leak here.
I won't let that bomb go off.
Stop the car!
-Car... -What...
What are you doing?
Stop the car.
Idiot, we'll all die.
He was helping us run away!
Where would you run to?
Anywhere! My people are everywhere!
Your people?
My people came to kill me.
And soon, yours will too.
Someone else is going in my place. I have to stop him.
Now neither of our bombs will go off.
In you and I, in every human being
In every joy
In sorrow
In music and dance
In the beloved and her lover
There's only you, God
You are the eternal phrase
You are the daughter and the mother
You fill me with such inspiration
That my name is now Rumi
Ishwarchand.
-Ishwarchand. -It's Hafeez Bin Ali.
Yes, Okay, Hafeez.
You've enlightened me.
I'm with you now. What's your plan?
Anything. I'll tell the police everything.
And the police will trust you?
We're terrorists, remember?
We're on our own.
-Get in the car. -No.
The bomb will go off by the time you walk to it.
Come on Hafeez, we'll stop them together.
I said no.
Hafeez, look,
I can't do it by myself.
You fill the world with wonder
You take away worry
Your God is not mine, my God is not yours
Here, wear these.
I'll go change as well.
Hail Maa Ka Dal, Guruji!
People put on makeup to disguise themselves.
We take it off.
Let's go.
Go on, take it. Aren't you hungry?
Have it.
Thank you,
for joining me.
Come on bro,
you're getting too emotional.
Can I ask you a question?
What made you change your mind?
Praveen,
you clarified the Quran,
and I have studied the Gita deeply.
In the end, cremated or buried,
the destination is the same.
We're trying to save lives and you're thinking of death.
I...
I used to work at a call center.
I'm an actor.
Crowds throng to see me perform.
Once I deliver my lines...
You want to see?
O Ravana, this is not an ordinary woman. She is a Goddess.
Goddess Sita shall be the cause of your death. Hail Lord Rama!
Help!
You don't have to read the speech.
I wrote in Urdu for you to memorize.
Allah!
Hafeez would've said it in English.
Abba!
-Seeking heaven's bliss on Earth? -Should I show you the heaven?
Cover your face.
Bomb in a burqa. What an idea, Abba.
Any news of Hafeez?
No, Abba.
Let him be. There's no time to lose now.
Zulfi, come back.
Pick him up.
Pick me up.
Where are you going? There...That way.
-Go. -Go.
-Let's go. -Yes, come on.
Let's go.
The enemy is here.
We'll destroy them today.
-Are you here for the conference? -Yes.
I wanted to support this peace initiative.
Same here.
Who wouldn't support world peace?
Would you like some tea?
There's no network.
You're using a typewriter in the age of the touchscreen.
It's time to get a new phone.
Abba!
I want to drink the nectar of eternal life
They say die and go to heaven But I insist on staying alive
If you want sunshine, get your own sun
I write my own destiny, don't guide me
No longer naïve, I'm street smart now
They say die and go to heaven But I insist on staying alive
No longer naïve, I'm street smart
They say die and go to heaven But I insist on staying alive
I insist, I insist I will stay alive
What now?
We've got to stop Zulfi.
You go that way. I'll check this side.
Will the people listen this time?
This time we'll try together.
The rest is in God's hands.
Hafeez, someone else is...
This bomb... good thing I got here--
You made a call, didn't you?
Get out of my way.
You are an awful actor.
Anyone would see through you.
-Let me go! -Are you in a hurry?
Yes.
I have to get revenge!
Get revenge on whom?
Who is our enemy?
Do you know his name?
Have you seen his face?
You're just out to kill randomly.
I'll detonate the bomb!
I'll detonate it.
Detonate it.
I'm not kidding, I'll press it.
Who's stopping you? Press it.
Are you afraid of death?
I'm not afraid!
I know you! How can I kill you?
Praveen Chaturvedi,
you can't kill anyone.
You saved a little lamb. How will you kill all these people?
Our mentors for the mission aren't our well-wishers.
Your well-wisher is your family, the little girl
who is waiting for you.
She wants gifts.
Go.
Go back to your people, brother.
Move aside. Let's get this over with it.
Namaskar.
Salaam Alaikum.
A warm welcome to all of you.
A warm welcome to you too madam--
-Let me speak-- -Move aside.
Hello.
Why have I come here?
Why have I come here in a burqa?
Zulfi.
I have come here to proclaim...
Proclaim what?
I've got to stop him.
There is only one true faith in the world.
We are all part of that faith.
All religions have originated from this faith,
and will one day be engulfed by it.
Agreed!
All religions of the world are held together by this faith,
and must bow down to it.
Today...
Today I will
prove to the world--
How did he get in there?
Looks like trouble. Escape!
-Praveen is in danger! Come on. -Let's go.
No... No.
Isn't that Harold? Why is he in Poland?
Not now, son. Wait. Let us leave.
Why?
Don't you want to go to heaven?
-We'll go together, Abba. -No, son, no.
Get him under control.
Quiet! Enough!
I am not a terrorist!
Have you spoken to Him?
This Almighty, how does He communicate?
Does He call?
Or email?
Or send a courier? How does He communicate?
If He wishes, He can communicate directly with us.
He doesn't need middlemen!
A terrorist is preaching now. Who will listen to you?
I have listened to him.
Greetings, Guruji. All good?
Don't forget him, Hafeez. He'll come to heaven too. Right?
Auntie, turn on the TV!
-Praveen is on the news. -Praveen?
Stop threatening us with guns. We'll blow up the bomb.
Put them down. Let us finish talking.
Go on, Hafeez. They have to listen to you.
What do I say and to whom?
Here's a Hindu, a Muslim, a Christian,
and you, Sir.
I don't even know your religion. There are uncountable religions.
But all religions are only gateways.
Enter through any of them, you'll reach the same place.
Oh wow! There are 4231 religions in the world.
We're all extolling our own religions here. Do you know why?
Because we were never taught about other religions.
Don't be afraid of us. We're only the means to an end.
Be afraid of the hatred we are teaching our children.
If my child is killed, I should try and save all other children.
Instead here I am, avenging my faith with a bomb.
Sir, no matter which faith wins,
it is humanity that loses.
If you and I exchanged places,
we would understand each other better.
All we have to do is bridge the divide.
Our conscience tells us this,
and we must listen.
I have listened.
So has he.
You can arrest us now.
Praveen, I'm glad to have met you.
Me too.
Calm down, Auntie.
The two young men, who were presumed to be terrorists by the police,
actually sacrificed themselves to save everyone.
The death of the saviors is very tragic.
Their sacrifice will not be in vain.
Hafeez.
I want to drink the nectar
Of eternal life
They say die and go to heaven
But I insist on staying alive
I want to drink the nectar of eternal life
They say die and go to heaven But I insist on staying alive
The present is mine, I'll live it up
We'll see about tomorrow when it comes
The embers of my heart Will light up the world
They say die and go to heaven But I insist on staying alive
The embers of my heart Will light up the whole world
They say die and go to heaven But I insist on staying alive
I insist, I insist I will stay alive
Goddamn it! insist I will stay alive