1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,000 [intriguing music plays] 2 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:10,920 [Mike] Now that we're here… 3 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:16,239 Um… 4 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:22,400 I've been made redundant. 5 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:24,560 [inhales] 6 00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:26,840 [Mike] And, um, it's been two months. 7 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:30,959 It's embarrassing to say, but I'll dress up like I'm going to work. 8 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:33,879 We leave the house around the same time, 9 00:00:34,559 --> 00:00:36,760 and then I'll literally circle round, 10 00:00:36,839 --> 00:00:40,000 and as long as she's gone to work, I'll just circle back home. 11 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:42,080 [melancholy music plays] 12 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:47,480 I can't even look at you right now. I can't. 13 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:50,400 [sniffles] 14 00:00:54,599 --> 00:00:58,000 So have you been trying to get other jobs? What have you been doing? 15 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:03,480 I've just been living off what I've been basically given from work. 16 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,240 So when you got made redundant, 17 00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:09,200 you didn't feel as if you could share that with Yasmin? 18 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:14,040 I don't talk about feelings, I don't talk about myself. I don't-- 19 00:01:14,119 --> 00:01:17,399 But what are the feelings about this? What are the feelings? 20 00:01:17,479 --> 00:01:19,360 This makes me feel rubbish. 21 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:22,839 I feel like a worthless man, is how I feel. 22 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:27,200 -Why? -I don't know. It makes you feel weak. 23 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:30,360 Like who really talks about themselves being less than? 24 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:32,720 Yasmin, how are you feeling? 25 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:38,119 I don't know. I don't know. I just need to… decompress. 26 00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:41,160 You thought you had a really open relationship with no secrets. 27 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:45,160 That's not been the reality. So that's challenging. 28 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:48,360 -What's come up in this session today. -[Mike] Mm-hmm. 29 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:50,600 So I'm gonna give you a bit of homework. 30 00:01:51,199 --> 00:01:54,960 What I want you to do is, um, write down three things 31 00:01:55,039 --> 00:01:56,800 that are hard to say to each other. 32 00:01:58,559 --> 00:02:02,399 And then we will come back together again and think about those things together. 33 00:02:02,479 --> 00:02:05,000 -[Mike] Mm-hmm. Thank you. -[Yasmin] Okay. 34 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:10,359 ["Left Here" by DopeNorTeria & Wavy Lachii plays] 35 00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:17,040 Sometimes in couples therapy, people hear shocking revelations. 36 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:19,600 For Mike and Yasmin, this isn't just about the money. 37 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:20,799 It's the lie. 38 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:23,320 ♪ Can’t believe you left here ♪ 39 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:26,080 ♪ Left here, oh ♪ 40 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:29,600 [Karen] Revelations have to be worked through, talked about. 41 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:32,640 And that brings the couple to a place where they can think about 42 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,840 how do we want to move forward. 43 00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:38,840 I literally can't believe that you waited until we were in there to say that. 44 00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:40,760 This is exactly what I was trying to avoid. 45 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:42,920 I don't know who you are, 46 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,560 and I don't know if I can trust you now moving forward. 47 00:02:45,640 --> 00:02:47,720 -[Mike] Can I open the door? -[Yasmin] No, it's fine. 48 00:02:48,239 --> 00:02:50,239 ["Left Here" ends] 49 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:52,760 [dramatic sting] 50 00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:00,360 ["Run It Up" by Ichiro Suezawa, Sasha Yearwood, Skip Armstrong plays] 51 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,880 ♪ Run it up, run it up ♪ 52 00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:06,560 ♪ Run it up, keep running ♪ 53 00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:09,120 ♪ We gon' keep on running up Keep running ♪ 54 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,679 ♪ We gon' keep on running up, run it up ♪ 55 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:16,280 -[Maria] Hi! -[woman] Hi! 56 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:19,000 [Maria] I haven't seen you in ages. 57 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:21,399 -How you doing? Nice to see you. -[Oluwatosin] You all right? 58 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:24,320 [Viktor] Looking very good. Have a seat, man. Have a seat. 59 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:27,120 [Oluwatosin] How was the therapy session? 60 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,320 It was a lot. 61 00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:32,040 It's like I often feel like I have to tell Viktor one thing, 62 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:33,280 and tell my family another. 63 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:35,040 [Karen] Another thing. Say more about that? 64 00:03:35,119 --> 00:03:38,320 You see how you think that I'm still paying off my car? 65 00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:41,480 I actually finished, like, years ago. 66 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,640 I'm just sending them money. 67 00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:47,799 Really? That's what we do? And you just didn't tell me? 68 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:50,920 It's about the lie. You keeping something from me for so long. 69 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,399 You don't like the fact that I'm sending my parents money just to send them money. 70 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:56,160 [Viktor] I get it as a cultural thing. 71 00:03:56,239 --> 00:04:00,560 But your, like, monthly subscription to be sending them 10% of what she makes. 72 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:03,920 -Monthly subscription. Wow. -[Viktor] Well, that's what it's giving. 73 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,040 -My sister. My two sisters. -I do it as well. 74 00:04:06,119 --> 00:04:07,119 Obviously Tosin-- 75 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,880 Respectfully, I do not care what your siblings do. 76 00:04:09,959 --> 00:04:13,760 I'm not trying to create a family or build an empire with them. 77 00:04:13,839 --> 00:04:15,640 [Oluwatosin] But that's the thing. 78 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:21,279 You've been with Maria for seven years and still not committed to her. 79 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:24,800 I don't know, Maria. You have to think about what you want. 80 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,640 It feels like you're just going on a joyride at the moment. 81 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:31,840 Maybe that's why Mum is upset because… 82 00:04:41,919 --> 00:04:45,960 Mum is like, "Why are you not married? There's no commitment from his side." 83 00:04:46,039 --> 00:04:50,720 [voice breaking] Like, yes, I love him, but at the same time, I will leave. 84 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:52,840 Because these are things that I want. 85 00:04:52,919 --> 00:04:55,680 But having to think about it makes me so sad. 86 00:04:56,919 --> 00:05:00,640 I don't want you to look back and be like, "Oh my gosh, I wasted seven years 87 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:05,919 when I could have met someone else who wants the same things as me." 88 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:06,960 Yeah. 89 00:05:07,039 --> 00:05:08,400 ♪ Show me something ♪ 90 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:13,039 ♪ Show me something ♪ 91 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:14,960 [birds chirping] 92 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:17,560 ♪ Show me something… ♪ 93 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:21,840 [Debbie] This is fancy. 94 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:24,120 [chuckles] 95 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:26,840 ♪ Show me something ♪ 96 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:30,560 [Debbie] Sometimes, money is not everything. 97 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:36,479 Ladies that think that this is the dream life, tread carefully. 98 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,039 ♪ I look good on you ♪ 99 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,359 ♪ I got an attitude for you… ♪ 100 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:46,800 [Debbie] I had a list when I was younger of the kind of man I want, 101 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,800 and when I met Kelvin, he just ticked all the boxes. 102 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:55,440 ♪ This is my chick, new tricks to show ♪ 103 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:57,359 [Kelvin] Me and Debbie met about ten years ago. 104 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,039 I fell in love with how patient she was with me. 105 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:04,960 She's supportive, loving, caring. She's my safe space. 106 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:07,039 [Debbie] Kelvin is my best friend. 107 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:08,560 Before the glitz and the glams, 108 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:12,039 me and Kelvin just used to wear our little tracksuit, 109 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:16,280 chilling in his mum's restaurant, eating, laughing. 110 00:06:16,359 --> 00:06:20,200 We can literally just, like, sit down and laugh. 111 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:23,120 I'm funny, but she's more funny than me. 112 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:25,280 [chuckles] She's hilarious. 113 00:06:25,359 --> 00:06:27,520 [upbeat pop music plays] 114 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:32,160 [woman] You told me we needed to speak. 115 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:34,280 -So, what's going on? -Girl, so much. 116 00:06:34,359 --> 00:06:38,320 You know Kelvin, I just don't know where me and him stand at the moment. 117 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,960 I feel like we're growing apart and we're not aligning. 118 00:06:41,039 --> 00:06:44,160 ♪ Leave me by the bar I don't really like to drink but… ♪ 119 00:06:44,799 --> 00:06:46,640 You know that he's super busy with the business, 120 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:49,680 and I'm so proud of him, and he has so much going on, 121 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,760 but it's affecting our relationship. 122 00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:55,560 Acts of service, I'll give him a 7 out of 10. 123 00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:59,359 Quality time, I'd give him 2.5 out of 10. 124 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:03,919 [Kevin] Business is very important to me. I'm a workaholic. 125 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,200 As of now, I've definitely bit off more than I can chew. 126 00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:10,599 But, um, I love what I do. I'm definitely a… I'd say a provider. 127 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:15,039 He would rather post a chicken from his restaurant 128 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:16,320 than to post me and him. 129 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,080 [music continues] 130 00:07:18,159 --> 00:07:22,640 Go through the therapy and work on it, but I don't think you should push it. 131 00:07:22,719 --> 00:07:26,159 'Cause if you push him too far, you don't know what's gonna happen. 132 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:35,440 [Debbie] It was my idea to do couples therapy. 133 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:39,359 If you asked Kelvin, "How do you think you and Debbie's relationship is?" 134 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:41,440 He would say, "Amazing." 135 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:43,799 I'm pretty content in our relationship. 136 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:47,640 I feel like we're growing together and we're going in the same direction. 137 00:07:53,359 --> 00:07:55,760 I don't think we need therapy, but Debbie thinks it could help 138 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:57,440 in regards to how she's feeling. 139 00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:58,640 If I'm being honest, 140 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:01,640 I… I'm lost. 141 00:08:01,719 --> 00:08:03,919 [Debbie] He does love me, I know that, 142 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:09,320 but I don't wanna use the breakup word, but maybe if things don't change, 143 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:12,719 we might have to go our separate ways. 144 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,080 [music ends] 145 00:08:16,719 --> 00:08:18,239 [footsteps treading] 146 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:19,880 [Karen] Debbie and Kelvin. 147 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:21,520 -How are you? -[Karen] I'm good, thanks. 148 00:08:21,599 --> 00:08:23,280 Welcome to your first session. 149 00:08:23,359 --> 00:08:24,840 Make yourselves comfortable. 150 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:29,200 Okay, so tell me a bit about you two. How long have you been together? 151 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:31,039 About ten years now. 152 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:32,480 -Ten years? -[Kelvin] Known each other for ten. 153 00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:33,959 Been together for seven. 154 00:08:34,039 --> 00:08:37,520 -What's your jobs? What are your… -I'm an executive assistant. 155 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,880 Right. And for you, Kelvin? 156 00:08:39,959 --> 00:08:43,360 Um, private chef, nutritionist, and just opened up a restaurant. 157 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,240 Oh, great, restaurateur. 158 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,760 -Right. You live together? -[Debbie] No. 159 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:53,040 I don't believe in living with my partner until I'm married. 160 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,959 Okay, I see. Do you agree with that, Kelvin? 161 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:57,520 Yeah, to a certain extent. 162 00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:00,360 Especially now, when I'm not really home much. 163 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:03,280 So when do you see each other, just you two? 164 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:07,920 We don't do much together anymore because he's always working. 165 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:09,880 I'm hoping it's a temporary thing. 166 00:09:09,959 --> 00:09:12,040 In regards to building a business, it's very… 167 00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:14,680 While you get it up and running. Are you on board with that? 168 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:19,360 Not really. I feel like that's, like, Kelvin's excuse. 169 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:24,079 I feel like he doesn't understand that him not spending quality time, 170 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:26,600 not being reliable or consistent 171 00:09:26,680 --> 00:09:28,800 is affecting our relationship. 172 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:32,440 I feel like our relationship is falling apart. 173 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:36,880 I feel like you're not understanding that you're slacking. 174 00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:40,079 And that's a big problem for me. 175 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,160 -Is that why you're here? -Yes. 176 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:45,959 -Kelvin? -I wouldn't say necessarily falling apart. 177 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:49,880 I'd say there's maintenance, like a car. 178 00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:53,400 Debbie? 179 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:55,600 How do you feel like it's not falling apart 180 00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:59,320 when you put the business before our relationship? 181 00:09:59,959 --> 00:10:02,640 In… In some instances, I have. 182 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:05,199 So, what does this business mean for you? 183 00:10:05,959 --> 00:10:08,520 Uh, it's deep-rooted. Debbie knows that. She's been there. 184 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:09,520 That's where we met. 185 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,959 We met in the same building where my restaurant is now. 186 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:13,120 How? 187 00:10:13,199 --> 00:10:15,560 It used to be my mum's. Mum had it for 12 years. 188 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:17,760 -[Karen] Okay. -She lost it during COVID. 189 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:20,839 So when she lost it, um, I acquired it back. 190 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,199 -Did you work in there as a child? -I did. 191 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:26,360 So it's a long time, long association with the building. 192 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:27,280 Yeah. 193 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,360 Growing up, people had their idols and stuff, 194 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,920 but me, it was just my mum. She was just a boss woman. 195 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,600 And on her own, which I admired a lot. 196 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:37,360 So when the building went up to let, 197 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:39,720 I would drive past it every time, sort of dreaming. 198 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:41,760 I've always told friends, "I'm gonna take it over," 199 00:10:41,839 --> 00:10:44,880 not knowing I was actually going to, and it's now mine. 200 00:10:44,959 --> 00:10:46,160 We're back, baby. 201 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,600 [Kelvin's mum laughs] 202 00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:53,000 It's like a childhood dream that's turned into reality. 203 00:10:53,079 --> 00:10:55,040 [Kelvin's mum] Hello. Oh. 204 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:58,520 So I would put the business before a lot of things. 205 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:00,760 Debbie knows why I'm doing this. 206 00:11:00,839 --> 00:11:02,240 I'm supportive. 207 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:05,000 -Yes. -'Cause that's the only way I can see him. 208 00:11:05,079 --> 00:11:06,640 -Is if I go to the shop. -[Karen] Yes. 209 00:11:06,719 --> 00:11:12,400 Because we can make plans, and he will not make the plans. 210 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:16,079 Like, for example, my birthday, he canceled last minute. 211 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:17,079 What happened? 212 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:22,600 Um, so one of my clients who I look after, he's a very well-known pop star. 213 00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:25,640 -Debbie knows how big this client is. -Do you, Debbie? 214 00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:27,920 I don't care. 215 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:30,880 -Did you hear that? -I hear it. 216 00:11:30,959 --> 00:11:31,880 He can let me down, 217 00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:36,120 but he won't let no one else down when it comes to business. 218 00:11:36,199 --> 00:11:41,360 He thinks that he can cover it up with, like, a gift to say sorry. 219 00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:44,079 'Cause he thinks that will cover up what he's done. 220 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:45,600 To the point where… 221 00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:49,040 I don't know if you've realized that I don't really wear what you buy me. 222 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:49,959 Mm. 223 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,040 Like, I would have loved to wear, like, 224 00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:55,480 my Van Cleef bracelet, and all this stuff, but I don't wanna wear it. 225 00:11:55,560 --> 00:11:58,680 'Cause I feel like you feel like you've done something, like, 226 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:01,640 "Yeah, like, she accepted my apology 'cause I bought her that." 227 00:12:01,719 --> 00:12:03,600 So I don't wear the stuff he gets me. 228 00:12:04,199 --> 00:12:06,760 -Is that a silent protest? -I think so. 229 00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:09,680 -Did you realize? -This is the first to my ears. 230 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:13,520 I mean, I noticed, but I just thought maybe she was saving it for a nice day. 231 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:18,520 I'm shocked at Debbie's responses, if I'm being honest. 232 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:21,320 Like, if you don't gift, you're a bad boyfriend. 233 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:24,800 Now, if you over-gift, you're a bad boyfriend. 234 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:26,880 That doesn't really make sense to me. 235 00:12:26,959 --> 00:12:30,400 -Do you buy out of guilt? -I wouldn't say guilt. It's more… 236 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:34,400 I'm thinking about you. My intention is, I'm thinking about you. 237 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:35,520 [Debbie] No. 238 00:12:35,599 --> 00:12:38,000 If you was thinking about me, you wouldn't 239 00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:40,719 disappoint me so much. 240 00:12:41,599 --> 00:12:44,360 You only go and buy me a gift when you mess up. 241 00:12:45,079 --> 00:12:47,599 -I buy gifts, regardless. Okay. -But I don't want them. 242 00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:50,000 Did you hear, "Not interested in the gifts"? 243 00:12:50,079 --> 00:12:52,920 She wants you to be present. 244 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,440 I know it'll get better. 245 00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:58,959 But what if… What if she's not here when you're ready? 246 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,560 Kelvin does not think he'll ever lose me. 247 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:05,400 -You don't think I'd go anywhere. -Why doesn't he think you'll walk away? 248 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:08,760 -Because he just thinks-- -She's given me no reason to think that. 249 00:13:08,839 --> 00:13:11,280 He thinks he has control over our relationship. 250 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:13,680 Talk to me about that. What sort of control? 251 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:16,079 Like, he always knows where I am. 252 00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:17,480 What'd you mean? How? 253 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:20,719 I don't… Find My iPhone. 254 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,440 -[Debbie] Location. -[Kelvin] Location. 255 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:26,079 -Calling me quite constantly. -How does that feel? 256 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:31,360 I feel like as time has gone on and he's been falling short in our relationship, 257 00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:36,400 I feel like the control's been, um, getting a bit much for me. 258 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,680 What… What… Can you talk to me about this? 259 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:41,480 -I wouldn't pin it as controlling. -[Karen] No? 260 00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:44,880 [Kelvin] I would pin it more like, I care, you know? 261 00:13:44,959 --> 00:13:47,079 I wanna know where you are. I wanna know you're safe. 262 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:52,520 I can't control when we'll be done in a restaurant or done in a bar. 263 00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:56,440 So you calling me, telling me, oh, like, you're gonna send me the car now-- 264 00:13:56,520 --> 00:14:00,480 Send you… Send you a car? You'll call her and tell her to go home? 265 00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:03,680 Yeah. I'm sending you a car. It's past midnight. 266 00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:07,959 Yeah, I send it because a woman wants a leader, you know? 267 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:11,000 And I allow my woman to, you know, be a woman. 268 00:14:11,079 --> 00:14:13,480 Rest in her feminine energy, as they say. 269 00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:15,760 Some people could say it's controlling, you know? 270 00:14:15,839 --> 00:14:16,760 But 271 00:14:17,719 --> 00:14:19,360 would you rather I didn't care? 272 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:20,920 [laughs] That's the flip side. 273 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,880 I would like to think you're coming from a caring place. 274 00:14:23,959 --> 00:14:27,760 However, I just feel like because you're falling short, 275 00:14:27,839 --> 00:14:32,040 you're trying to keep me in, like, a bubble. 276 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:36,160 I feel like Kelvin's figuring out how to be a man, 277 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,760 and I'm, like, a few steps ahead of him. 278 00:14:38,839 --> 00:14:41,520 Yeah, I think he feels a bit insecure about it. 279 00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:45,439 -This is how you feel, but-- -How do you know how I'm feeling? 280 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:46,640 We talk. 281 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,040 What do we talk about? 282 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:53,120 -As of recently, mostly about me. -How do you think that feels for Debbie? 283 00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:00,120 She's never said anything up until… 284 00:15:00,199 --> 00:15:02,719 This is the most I've heard about this situation. 285 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:06,479 I don't know. I feel like he's in his own world. 286 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,160 Living the Kelvin world. I don't know. 287 00:15:11,079 --> 00:15:13,400 I don't know if Kelvin 288 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,719 is being a bit delusional about it. 289 00:15:17,319 --> 00:15:18,240 Talk about that. 290 00:15:18,839 --> 00:15:21,400 I don't know. If Kelvin didn't want this anymore, 291 00:15:21,479 --> 00:15:25,800 I don't know if he would feel brave enough to say that. 292 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:29,760 This relationship, do you know how much you want it? 293 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:32,719 Yeah, of course. 294 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,079 This is my person, you know? 295 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:37,360 It's what I think about, you know? 296 00:15:37,439 --> 00:15:40,319 When you sort of, like, daydream and you think about your future. 297 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:41,520 [Karen] Say more. 298 00:15:42,319 --> 00:15:46,439 Mm. I came from a single-parent household, you know, how I grew up. 299 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:49,280 -I don't wanna repeat that. -Yes, tell me more. 300 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:52,479 My mum done an amazing job, but the part that I missed out on, 301 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:54,040 she was out working so much. 302 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:56,719 And it played… 303 00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,000 As much as it was good, 304 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:02,359 I missed out on that sort of motherly love, you know? 305 00:16:02,439 --> 00:16:03,760 You missed out on her presence. 306 00:16:03,839 --> 00:16:06,079 -[Kelvin] Yeah. -[Karen] But can you see what's going on? 307 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:07,959 You're doing the same. 308 00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:10,560 You're repeating that with Debbie. 309 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:12,599 -Mm. -[Karen] You're not around for her. 310 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,560 There's presents, there's gifts, there's the things, 311 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:17,040 but you're not present. 312 00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:19,280 Only temporary. 313 00:16:19,359 --> 00:16:21,359 -Food for thought. -[Kelvin] Yeah. 314 00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:24,719 And you're okay with losing me? 315 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:26,680 Are you telling me to pick the business or you? 316 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:29,240 'Cause that's very… That… You couldn't even… 317 00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:33,040 -No, obviously I can't say-- -It feels like that, I think, for you. 318 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:34,959 -[Debbie] Mm-hmm. -It feels like that. 319 00:16:36,359 --> 00:16:38,040 What about you, Debbie? 320 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:42,199 When we think about this, how much do you want this? 321 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:48,839 [clicks tongue] 322 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:55,280 I feel like, for another young woman, 323 00:16:55,359 --> 00:16:57,199 this would be her dream, yeah? 324 00:16:57,280 --> 00:17:01,839 -Mm. -However, if I'm not happy, what we doing? 325 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:02,760 Okay. 326 00:17:02,839 --> 00:17:05,879 -Are you okay with this? Yes. -It's fine. We're here to understand. 327 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:06,800 Mm-hmm. 328 00:17:06,879 --> 00:17:09,079 [Karen] Maybe we can think about it in the next session, 329 00:17:09,159 --> 00:17:11,599 how compromises could be made. 330 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:14,760 That's it for today, guys. 331 00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:17,560 -Session's done. All right? -Thank you. 332 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:18,800 Thank you. Bye-bye. 333 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:22,000 ♪ I just need a little bit A little bit of time and space ♪ 334 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,599 ♪ I just need a little bit A little bit of time and space ♪ 335 00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:30,640 Both parts of a couple have to make time to be present. 336 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:35,880 If they don't carve out that time, they start to co-exist. 337 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:39,919 The key to surviving and thriving is communication. 338 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,000 It's agreement. 339 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:44,840 It's working together so that both get their needs met. 340 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:49,880 I'm in shock, I'm not gonna lie to you. That really did take me… It took me off. 341 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:52,040 -Did it take you like-- -It took me back. 342 00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:53,600 -Because-- -No, like into reality? 343 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:56,120 The reality is, I know it's temporary. 344 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,200 And I thought you knew it was temporary as well. 345 00:17:58,280 --> 00:17:59,840 The only thing I could do to change that 346 00:17:59,919 --> 00:18:02,919 is literally just stop working, and that's not an option. 347 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,640 -I didn't tell you to stop working. -But that's how it feels. 348 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:07,399 -I'm busy. -No. You're taking it that way. 349 00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:09,000 -No. -I work as well. 350 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:11,080 But I have balance. You don't have balance. 351 00:18:11,159 --> 00:18:13,880 -I don't have balance. I accept it. -That's why we're here. 352 00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:17,640 There is no balance with the ship that I'm steering, 100% not. 353 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:20,919 So maybe you're not… You don't need a girlfriend then. 354 00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:23,399 I don't know what to say to that. 355 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:28,120 I knew how she felt to a certain extent, but not what just happened. 356 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:31,600 So I'm definitely gonna walk into the next session with a bit more 357 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:33,679 armor. 358 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:37,480 ["Run It Up" by Ichiro Suezawa, Sasha Yearwood, Skip Armstrong plays] 359 00:18:44,919 --> 00:18:47,200 ["Run It Up" ends] 360 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:48,679 [exhales] Can we talk? 361 00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:53,960 -What do you wanna talk about? -Therapy session and how you're feeling. 362 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:55,640 How do you think I'm feeling? 363 00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:57,960 Hurt. 364 00:18:58,040 --> 00:18:59,520 I'm fuming. 365 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:03,880 I'm not having my financial situation be affected by your bad choices 366 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,919 and the decisions that have happened to you. 367 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,960 I'm the one that's gonna have to pick up the slack, 368 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:10,440 so I need to know the full picture. 369 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:13,720 I thought we were going there to fix problems, and now we've got more. 370 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:17,120 Do you know how much that hurts? To feel like you know someone, 371 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:21,080 to feel like you're walking into a room, and you've got each other's backs? 372 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:25,360 And for that person to then turn around and show you another side to them? 373 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:28,520 Everything is up in the air for me right now. 374 00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:30,720 [Mike] I'm trying to tell you I'm sorry. 375 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:35,919 I'm not gonna try and defend anything. I'm not gonna try and make an excuse. 376 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:39,919 Like, I'm here to try and solve things 'cause I love you, and I love my family. 377 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:43,480 And I want to grow this family. I want to solve any issues. 378 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,480 I'm willing to do what it takes. 379 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,679 ["Love Me Right" by Nina Hudson plays] 380 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:50,960 ♪ Love me right Lo-love me right ♪ 381 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:56,440 ♪ Talking on the phone in the late night ♪ 382 00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,919 ♪ Keep the conversation going Through the sunrise ♪ 383 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,919 [guests] ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 384 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,040 Thank you guys for coming. 385 00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:09,679 We appreciate everyone who's helped us over this past year. 386 00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:10,800 It hasn't been easy, 387 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,840 but you guys have definitely made it easier for us, so thank you. 388 00:20:13,919 --> 00:20:15,760 [guests cheering] 389 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:18,040 ♪ Never knew you could mean this much ♪ 390 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:21,080 ♪ 'Cause you give me a rush ♪ 391 00:20:21,159 --> 00:20:23,040 ♪ Come on, let's build this trust ♪ 392 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:26,840 -[man 1] Ay, yo. -[man 2] Rah, man, this party's lit. 393 00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:31,080 -[man 2] How's everything? -Bro, me and Daisy started therapy. 394 00:20:31,159 --> 00:20:32,320 How's that been for you? 395 00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:35,440 I'll be real, the last session was… It went off, bro. 396 00:20:36,399 --> 00:20:39,840 I feel like I'm just really struggling to forgive him 397 00:20:39,919 --> 00:20:42,159 for his lack of support when I first gave birth. 398 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:44,080 I didn't have a baby. I didn't go through anything physically-- 399 00:20:44,159 --> 00:20:45,480 But you did have a baby. 400 00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:46,760 [Jay] Okay, yeah. When I say-- 401 00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:48,720 This baby, you did agree to have it together? 402 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,040 It just felt quite convenient. 403 00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:56,640 What is convenient about raising a child with a man you don't like? 404 00:20:58,280 --> 00:20:59,919 [Jay] She's barely been chatting to me. 405 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,919 -[Dammy] Really? -Yeah, man. It's not a beef ting, but-- 406 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:07,120 You know when you expose that much information to, like, a third party? 407 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:09,280 -[Dammy] Yeah. -She sort of felt a way. 408 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,280 -[Dammy] Have you spoken to her today? -Nah, you know. 409 00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:13,840 -Yeah? Like that? -Yeah. 410 00:21:13,919 --> 00:21:15,080 Bruv, I'm not gonna lie, 411 00:21:15,159 --> 00:21:17,320 I think you should speak to her. Have a word with her. 412 00:21:17,399 --> 00:21:19,880 See if you can, you know what I'm saying? Solve it. 413 00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:22,040 -These awkward vibes ain't it. -Know what I'm saying? 414 00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:25,200 Especially 'cause it's Alora's first birthday. Family's here, everyone's here. 415 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:28,919 Everyone's here, good vibes. You feel me? It's not… It's not worth the tension. 416 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,560 Yeah, but she's doing it. 417 00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,800 -Okay, I'm not even joking. -[Jay] Yeah, yeah. 418 00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:34,560 -Are you talking about me? -[Jay] No, no. 419 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,919 -[Dammy laughing] -Please, Dams, don't rubbish me, you know. 420 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,399 -[Dammy] Never. -He's not, I swear. 421 00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:40,720 ["Love Me Right" continues] 422 00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:49,960 I feel like we've just gotta be more open. We just have to really speak our truths, 423 00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:52,960 'cause that's the only way this can really work, if I'm being honest. 424 00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:53,960 [Daisy] Yeah. 425 00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:56,960 I don't really like to apologize, but I will apologize. 426 00:21:57,040 --> 00:22:00,520 'Cause I feel like if there's one thing I took from that session, 427 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:02,919 I'm probably not the greatest listener. 428 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,439 -I feel like that's why I was shocked. -Probably? Probably? 429 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:09,280 -Probably. Um, I feel like-- -[laughs] I think definitely were, yeah. 430 00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:12,280 That's why I was a bit shocked hearing everything you had to say. 431 00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:16,080 And that's probably 'cause I never really let you say how you truly feel. 432 00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:19,080 -I'm sorry. -Who's this? Is this Daisy? 433 00:22:19,159 --> 00:22:20,919 But not too much. I'm just a little bit sorry. 434 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:22,800 -Just a tiny bit sorry. -Just a tiny bit. 435 00:22:24,439 --> 00:22:26,200 -Let's enjoy Alora's birthday. -[Jay] Yeah. 436 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:29,720 We're here for her, the daughter that I "forced" you to have. 437 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:31,360 -Apparently. -No one said you for-- 438 00:22:31,439 --> 00:22:34,640 -But let's enjoy her birthday. -Whatever. You're stretching it. 439 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:36,640 -Let's see how the next session goes. -Yeah. 440 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,399 Hopefully you don't break up with me. 441 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,800 [Daisy] Previously, our relationship was quite unstable. 442 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:45,520 If he did something even slightly that I didn't like, I'm out. 443 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:48,280 -I still got smoke for you though. -Listen, don't worry. 444 00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:51,840 I'm apologizing for the next session. Don't worry. 445 00:22:51,919 --> 00:22:54,800 -I've been writing shit down. -Me too. I'm also snitching. Please. 446 00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,360 We both have issues we wanna discuss 447 00:22:58,439 --> 00:23:01,280 and things we wanna sort of hash out and get to the bottom of. 448 00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:03,760 ♪ She keeps telling me to come through ♪ 449 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:06,200 ♪ Can't keep giving I don't come through… ♪ 450 00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:09,919 I'm not entirely over things that have happened in our past 451 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:11,360 whilst we were broken up. 452 00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:16,120 I think trust is a big issue, especially on her side. 453 00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:19,240 [Daisy] I don't think I know all of his explorations. 454 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:24,080 I feel like I would be naive to believe that I know absolutely everything. 455 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:27,800 [Jay] Daisy has a lot of issues with me 456 00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:31,960 when it comes to having relationships with any other female that's not her. 457 00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:35,600 Like, at this point, I don't even know if I'm allowed to talk to my mum. [laughs] 458 00:23:35,679 --> 00:23:38,399 ♪ Liking what I see ♪ 459 00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:40,600 ♪ Come put it on me, yeah… ♪ 460 00:23:40,679 --> 00:23:43,720 [Daisy] I know that he went on a date with someone else 461 00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:45,919 during the periods that we broke up. 462 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:49,480 And I'd like to believe that's the extent. 463 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:52,240 If I find out otherwise, it's on. 464 00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:55,840 [music ends] 465 00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:57,480 [Karen] Hello, both. 466 00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:58,679 -Hello, Karen. -Hey. 467 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:00,880 -[Karen] Hey. Sit down. -You okay? 468 00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:02,200 Welcome back. 469 00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:03,919 -[Jay sighs] Thank you. -[Daisy] Thank you. 470 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:07,880 So, um, since we met last, what's been happening? 471 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:09,120 We had our daughter's party. 472 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:11,159 -That was good. -[Jay] Yeah, we had a good time. 473 00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:14,399 It felt good to enjoy ourselves with family and friends and be drunk. 474 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:15,760 [all laughing] 475 00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:19,240 -Everyone to be drunk. -The alcohol was needed to get us there. 476 00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:22,080 As you can hear from my voice, I'm still recovering. 477 00:24:22,159 --> 00:24:24,000 -But yeah, a time was had. -Yeah. 478 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:25,520 [Karen] Great. Okay. 479 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:29,439 So, what are you gonna bring to this session today? 480 00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:31,880 [clicks tongue] Um, I'm gonna bring problems. 481 00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:33,600 [laughs] No, I'm joking. 482 00:24:33,679 --> 00:24:37,919 Um, so today, I wanna talk about some things that I feel like 483 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,600 we haven't been completely honest with each other about. 484 00:24:40,679 --> 00:24:41,720 How'd you feel about that? 485 00:24:42,439 --> 00:24:45,120 Um, I mean, I definitely get what she means, 486 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:49,399 but I feel like there's things that she's also hiding as well. 487 00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:52,679 So neither of you trust the other? Why? 488 00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:58,480 So, for me, when we first started talking, you would lie over the stupidest things. 489 00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:02,960 Like, he bought me a necklace from Warren James. 490 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:05,240 He went on holiday, 491 00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:09,520 and he told me that he bought it on his way back from the airport. 492 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:12,600 I went and Googled all the shops that were available in that airport. 493 00:25:12,679 --> 00:25:14,320 -There was no Warren James. -Fucking crazy. 494 00:25:14,399 --> 00:25:18,840 It was little white lies like that that just made me start not trusting him. 495 00:25:18,919 --> 00:25:22,360 Do you trust anyway, Daisy, or are you always hypervigilant? 496 00:25:22,439 --> 00:25:24,800 I think, to be honest, I'm always hypervigilant. 497 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:29,159 -Yeah, you're always checking? -Always checking. My laptop, my phone… 498 00:25:29,679 --> 00:25:33,360 -As I should. And as I think-- -What do you mean, as you should? 499 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:38,880 I do go through his phone, and I'm absolutely proud of that. 500 00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:42,840 Especially as a woman, you need to go through your man's phone. 501 00:25:42,919 --> 00:25:46,399 Like, not going through your man's phone is like walking with a blindfold. 502 00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:48,520 I'm not the type of person that 503 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,600 trusts people right away. You have to build my trust. 504 00:25:51,199 --> 00:25:54,720 I feel like, ultimately, if somebody's given the right circumstances, 505 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:57,840 they will betray you, and they will let you down. 506 00:25:57,919 --> 00:26:01,760 And things like that proves why you shouldn't trust people. 507 00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:05,840 Like, if you can lie about things as silly as that, 508 00:26:05,919 --> 00:26:09,720 then you must lie about the bigger things too. 509 00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:13,080 And there have been times where he has lied about the bigger things. 510 00:26:13,159 --> 00:26:14,760 Talk to me about that. 511 00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:17,760 For example, there was a time we'd broken up, 512 00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:23,000 and he was going on a night out with his "friends." 513 00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:24,840 That's what he told me. 514 00:26:24,919 --> 00:26:27,520 So, at some point, I needed to have a quick chat with him. 515 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,280 I called him, he didn't answer. 516 00:26:30,360 --> 00:26:32,360 I knew something was fishy. 517 00:26:32,439 --> 00:26:34,000 I knew he was with a girl. 518 00:26:35,919 --> 00:26:37,600 You're broken up at this point? 519 00:26:37,679 --> 00:26:40,720 We're broken up, but we're still trying to figure things out. 520 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:42,320 -Right? -You know about the baby? 521 00:26:42,399 --> 00:26:45,000 -Yeah. -[Daisy] He knows about the baby. 522 00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:47,120 At this point, 523 00:26:47,199 --> 00:26:51,159 the calling every ten minutes turned into every 30 seconds. 524 00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:52,080 You're calling-- 525 00:26:52,159 --> 00:26:54,760 Yes. I was calling his phone every 30 seconds. 526 00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:57,240 I was not gonna stop until he answered the phone. 527 00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:01,560 Eventually, he texts me. He texts me, doesn't call me back. 528 00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:04,399 He says, "Oh, I can't answer the phone." 529 00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:06,199 "I'm outside with my friends, 530 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:08,800 and I just feel so sad about our breakup." 531 00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:11,960 "I'm even in tears." What a fucking dumb lie. 532 00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:15,560 Like, we're broken up. If you're out with a girl, just say it. 533 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:18,320 But you lying is just gonna make it worse. 534 00:27:18,399 --> 00:27:19,360 Yes. 535 00:27:19,439 --> 00:27:23,960 Eventually, he posted a Snap. The Snap had a girl's voice in it. 536 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:27,800 So I've sent it to him, and I've said, 537 00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:31,240 "What the hell is this? You told me that you weren't with a girl, 538 00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:34,640 and there is clear evidence that you were with the girl." 539 00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:36,840 And guess what he does, Karen? 540 00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:41,480 -He proceeds to maintain the lie. -[chuckles] 541 00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:43,399 I was never gonna admit it, I'll be honest. 542 00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:48,360 Like, I was doubling down on that lie. I invested Bitcoin into that lie. [laughs] 543 00:27:48,439 --> 00:27:51,880 The amount of P's that was in that lie could… [laughs] 544 00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:54,760 I couldn't cash it out. I had to… I had to hold. 545 00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:57,399 The photo evidence is right there. 546 00:27:58,439 --> 00:28:01,280 Does he think I'm Boo Boo the Fool? 547 00:28:01,360 --> 00:28:05,000 It's literally right there, and you're still maintaining the lie. 548 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:06,560 Why didn't you just say? 549 00:28:07,679 --> 00:28:08,760 [Jay sighs] 550 00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:11,840 'Cause I just knew it would be too much headache. 551 00:28:14,120 --> 00:28:16,560 I understand I did play my part in this situation. 552 00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:17,800 [Karen] Yes. 553 00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:19,360 But the thing is, 554 00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:23,520 she says she expects people to, like, 555 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:26,240 build the trust that she should have in them. 556 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:31,320 But how comes you don't try and build trust for people to trust you? 557 00:28:31,399 --> 00:28:33,240 [Karen] Talk to me about that. 558 00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:37,399 So at this point of our relationship, we were still working on things. 559 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:40,560 We made a decision that we do wanna be together and we're working on it. 560 00:28:41,159 --> 00:28:45,439 I go through Daisy's phone, and then I see this certain guy's name. 561 00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:49,159 And I see the chat, and I scroll all the way to the top. 562 00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:51,280 And he's a music producer. 563 00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:54,879 And Daisy's chatting with this guy. 564 00:28:54,959 --> 00:28:58,560 They are asking each other questions like they're getting to know each other. 565 00:28:58,639 --> 00:29:01,679 "Oh, how old are you? Where are you from?" 566 00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:03,840 -"What do you do?" All the g… -[laughs] 567 00:29:03,919 --> 00:29:04,879 Like, stop laughing. 568 00:29:04,959 --> 00:29:07,199 -It's not funny. I know she's nervous. -[laughing] Sorry. 569 00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:08,760 -Yeah. -I'm not nervous at all. 570 00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:10,320 -Yes, you are. Stop acting. -I'm fine. 571 00:29:10,399 --> 00:29:13,199 -Take a breath. -You're not even right. Honestly, chill. 572 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,840 So she told him when her birthday was, 573 00:29:16,919 --> 00:29:21,480 and he was like, "Oh, maybe we can do a private studio session for you." 574 00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:24,120 And I was thinking… [laughs] 575 00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:27,360 I'm thinking you'd best be joking. What do you mean? 576 00:29:27,439 --> 00:29:31,919 I'm expecting to see some response just fully deading it at that point. 577 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,480 And she's like, "I'll let you know." 578 00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:37,199 [Daisy sighs] Um… 579 00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:40,560 Okay, let me start off with the realness. The relationship wasn't great. 580 00:29:40,639 --> 00:29:43,000 And there were times where I kind of was just like, 581 00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:45,320 "Fuck you. Let me see what's out there." 582 00:29:45,919 --> 00:29:49,520 -You're in my house. Like, this message-- -Did she let him know? 583 00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:51,439 -Well, you're in my house. Hold on. -I didn't. 584 00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:54,840 You're in my house, and you're messaging next man. 585 00:29:54,919 --> 00:29:56,520 Karen, what's your opinion? 586 00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,360 From this chair, you're both saying exactly the same thing. 587 00:29:59,439 --> 00:30:00,439 You have trust issues. 588 00:30:01,159 --> 00:30:02,159 Yeah. 589 00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:05,120 How have you drawn a line under this cycle? 590 00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:09,240 Okay, so we're gonna break that cycle now. 591 00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:12,240 'Cause it's really quite important that you get on the same page here 592 00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:14,280 and draw a line under the past. 593 00:30:14,959 --> 00:30:16,639 We're gonna do an exercise. 594 00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:19,520 -Okay. -All right? Turn to face each other. 595 00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:21,240 -Have a look at each other. -Oh. 596 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:25,879 You're gonna take it in turns. Each partner completes this sentence, 597 00:30:25,959 --> 00:30:30,000 "One thing I'm afraid to tell you, but I need to is…" 598 00:30:30,959 --> 00:30:32,919 And you say, "Thank you for telling me." 599 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:36,120 -[laughing] -"That matters to me." 600 00:30:36,199 --> 00:30:39,679 I have to say, "Thank you for telling me. That matters to me"? 601 00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:41,280 "That matters to me." 602 00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:43,560 Oh, Karen, man, you're asking for a lot. 603 00:30:43,639 --> 00:30:45,199 [both laugh] 604 00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:47,159 Yeah, it's a stretch, but let's have a go. 605 00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:48,919 -Yeah. -[Karen] Let's try it. Come on. 606 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:50,879 Okay, Daisy, here we go. 607 00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:53,800 One thing I'm afraid to tell you… 608 00:30:53,879 --> 00:30:57,639 One thing I'm afraid to tell you, but I'm gonna tell you today, 609 00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:01,600 that time you got the dreadlocks… [laughs] 610 00:31:01,679 --> 00:31:03,959 I'll be honest… [laughs] 611 00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:06,320 I didn't really like it. 612 00:31:06,399 --> 00:31:08,679 -[laughs] So-- -And you let me… you let me-- 613 00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:12,040 -Uh-uh-uh. What's the response? -I'm not telling her that shit. What? 614 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:13,080 Go on. 615 00:31:13,159 --> 00:31:15,959 Thank you for telling me that. That matters. 616 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:17,159 Yeah. 617 00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:18,760 Okay, Jay. 618 00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:23,919 One thing I'm afraid to tell you, 619 00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:26,560 but I need to is… 620 00:31:27,959 --> 00:31:30,360 [sighs] I'm not gonna lie, 621 00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:33,240 some of my friends think you're crazy. 622 00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:34,560 Really? 623 00:31:34,639 --> 00:31:36,080 Yeah. [laughs nervously] 624 00:31:36,679 --> 00:31:38,520 My friends like you, don't get me wrong. 625 00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:40,720 They like you. They think you're a cool person. 626 00:31:41,439 --> 00:31:43,240 They're kind of scared of you. [laughs] 627 00:31:45,439 --> 00:31:46,760 And the response? 628 00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:49,320 Thank you for telling me. 629 00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:52,360 -That matters to me. -[Jay] That matters. 630 00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:55,679 -[Jay laughs] -That matters to me. 631 00:31:56,919 --> 00:31:58,080 [sighs loudly] 632 00:31:58,679 --> 00:32:00,000 That was a trial run. 633 00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:01,840 -Trial run? -[Karen] Yeah. 634 00:32:01,919 --> 00:32:02,800 Okay. 635 00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:06,919 Karen needs to stop speaking right now 636 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:10,719 because she's put me in a tizz. [laughs] 637 00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:12,879 So shall we go again? 638 00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:16,560 One thing you're afraid to tell Daisy? 639 00:32:16,639 --> 00:32:21,520 Um, yeah. One thing I'm afraid to tell you, 640 00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:23,439 but I need to is… 641 00:32:24,879 --> 00:32:26,320 I'll be honest. 642 00:32:27,959 --> 00:32:29,399 The date I lied about, 643 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:31,120 I said 644 00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:33,959 nothing happened, but… 645 00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:40,199 we did kiss. 646 00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:45,080 Okay. 647 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:48,840 Okay. 648 00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:52,919 Daisy? 649 00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:56,800 [clears throat] 650 00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:00,800 Is she not meant to say the thing? 651 00:33:02,639 --> 00:33:03,840 Give her a moment. 652 00:33:09,719 --> 00:33:11,159 Are you being serious? 653 00:33:13,159 --> 00:33:15,040 Like, are you being dead arse? 654 00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:23,240 I'm genuinely, like, trying to process what you've just told me. 655 00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:26,199 I can't lie, like, it's not a small deal. 656 00:33:29,159 --> 00:33:32,240 For me, that's just bottom barrel, to be honest. 657 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:36,480 Like, you saw all my texts. You saw all my calls. 658 00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:39,560 You knew I was pregnant. 659 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:42,879 [exhales] 660 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:45,240 I can't lie, that's scummy. 661 00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:49,879 I'm sorry for not telling you. 662 00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:53,719 I mean, 663 00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:58,080 those times were quite sensitive times, if I'm being honest. 664 00:33:58,159 --> 00:34:04,280 And I think I also tried to disassociate myself from the situation. 665 00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:05,879 -And act like-- -What the fuck? 666 00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:10,120 -What the fuck? -I'm just explaining. 667 00:34:10,199 --> 00:34:11,719 -[Daisy scoffs] -Why he didn't tell you. 668 00:34:11,799 --> 00:34:16,520 -[sighs] I'm not even trying to violate-- -Oh. You know that's actually crazy? 669 00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:18,760 -I'm trying to explain. -What are you responding to? 670 00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:22,199 I'm responding to him telling me that he kissed her. 671 00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:23,839 [Daisy scoffs] 672 00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:28,600 I actually asked you a million times. 673 00:34:28,679 --> 00:34:29,920 [inhales deeply] 674 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:32,880 -[sighs] -And it's not even like I was unspecific. 675 00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:35,520 I specifically asked. 676 00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:39,839 [Daisy sighs] 677 00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:44,080 The point of this exercise 678 00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:47,480 was to get all of those secrets out 679 00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:49,679 so that you can process them. 680 00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:52,319 We're trying to draw a line under the past. 681 00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:55,040 So just to help us move on. 682 00:34:56,199 --> 00:34:57,240 The response? 683 00:34:58,760 --> 00:34:59,839 Cool. 684 00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:04,160 Thank you for telling me. That matters to me. 685 00:35:04,240 --> 00:35:06,319 [pensive music playing] 686 00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:11,799 Okay. Daisy, is there something that you can tell Jay? 687 00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:15,120 One thing I need to tell you… 688 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:17,200 [tense music plays] 689 00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:19,200 [Daisy] Do you know what? 690 00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:22,839 There's definitely things in our relationship that he doesn't know. 691 00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:26,120 And I feel like after finding out what he did, 692 00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:29,839 there's a part of me that doesn't really feel compassion for him. 693 00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:31,400 And I'll match his energy. 694 00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:34,680 You do me, I do you. This is your karma. 695 00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:37,040 [music intensifies] 696 00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:39,760 One thing I'm afraid to tell you that 697 00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:43,680 I need to tell you… 698 00:35:46,319 --> 00:35:47,160 Um… 699 00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:53,360 [exhales sharply] 700 00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:55,680 I don't care how he responds. 701 00:35:57,839 --> 00:35:59,640 You get it how you live it. [sighs] 702 00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:02,960 [dramatic music plays] 703 00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:04,440 [sighs] 704 00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:08,600 [dramatic music continues] 705 00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,000 [music continues] 706 00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:06,280 [music ends] ues]