1 00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:07,960 [intriguing music plays] 2 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:19,320 [Karen] Daisy, one thing I'm afraid to tell you, but I need to is… 3 00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:24,720 Um… 4 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:27,480 [clock ticking] 5 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:31,040 One thing I'm afraid to tell you… 6 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:35,160 [clicks tongue] 7 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:41,280 [sighs] …the guy that I was gonna go out with 8 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:45,400 when we'd broken up that time, 9 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:49,239 that's not the first date we've organized. 10 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:51,559 [music intensifies] 11 00:00:53,559 --> 00:00:55,080 How many other dates? 12 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,839 Once or twice. I don't know. 13 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,640 And did you ever go on any of them? 14 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:02,839 No. 15 00:01:02,919 --> 00:01:04,560 But you organized dates? 16 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:08,560 Yeah, because, as I said, like… 17 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:09,560 [tsks] 18 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:11,479 -Hey, look… -[Daisy exhales sharply] 19 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:12,880 I'm out, man. 20 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:15,640 -That's fine. You kissed her, so… -[Jay] Honestly-- 21 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:19,040 -Jay? -[Jay] I can't even… Whatever, man. 22 00:01:19,119 --> 00:01:20,080 [Jay scoffs] 23 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,920 [music fades] 24 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:33,280 So, Daisy, what's Jay really responded to? What's he really reacted to? 25 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:36,479 I… I don't know, and to be honest, I don't really care. 26 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:39,320 I'm more concerned about my lips. 27 00:01:39,399 --> 00:01:41,640 Okay, while you're doing those, talk to me. 28 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:43,119 Talk to me about 29 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:45,839 what you… what actually happened. 30 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:47,600 You never actually went. Why not? 31 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:50,199 Because I wasn't going 'cause I actually wanted to go. 32 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:54,720 I was going because I felt like he'd do the same. 33 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:56,920 I just felt like I wasn't being true to myself, 34 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,920 and my intentions weren't genuine. 35 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,320 And I didn't really wanna use that person 36 00:02:01,399 --> 00:02:04,960 just to, like, I don't know, I guess, "get back" at Joseph. 37 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:08,400 -Um, so I just never went. -[Karen] Okay. 38 00:02:09,519 --> 00:02:10,720 Hi, Jay. 39 00:02:10,799 --> 00:02:13,120 You know you're actually a liar, you know? 40 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:14,760 -I'm… I'm fine with that. -[Jay] The way… 41 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:16,880 No. I don't care if you're fine with it. 42 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,959 I don't trust that you never done anything with this guy. 43 00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:23,320 I can't even trust anything that you're saying. You're saying-- 44 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:24,360 I'm fine with that. 45 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:27,320 -[Jay] You planned three other dates. -You kissed her. I'm fine with that. 46 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:29,560 -Yeah, but at least-- -Daisy, two wrongs. Just-- 47 00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:32,920 I'll be so real. I didn't kiss… I didn't kiss her when we were together. 48 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:40,200 But from this chair, you're both in the same boat. 49 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:43,200 -That's what the exercise-- -We're not in the same boat. We're not. 50 00:02:45,519 --> 00:02:48,080 -Jay? -I'm not in the same boat as her, man. 51 00:02:49,519 --> 00:02:51,560 The point of this exercise 52 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:54,840 was to get all of those secrets out 53 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:58,640 so that you can process them. 54 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:02,880 So that you can start with a clean sheet. 55 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:05,440 You're both upset. 56 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:07,679 You've both acted out. 57 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,120 You're both emotional. 58 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:12,720 [melancholy music plays] 59 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:26,640 [voice breaking] I just feel like the difference between me and you 60 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:30,040 is that I genuinely didn't even have the heart to do it. 61 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:35,320 [Daisy sniffles] 62 00:03:35,399 --> 00:03:36,280 [sighs] 63 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:39,320 [sniffles] 64 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,320 Okay, cool, we'd organized the date, whatever, 65 00:03:42,399 --> 00:03:45,720 but I didn't… I just didn't have the heart to really follow through with it. 66 00:03:45,799 --> 00:03:47,320 But you actually did. 67 00:03:47,399 --> 00:03:50,720 And not just that, you also went ahead and kissed her. 68 00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:55,280 Yeah. 69 00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:59,399 Can you hear how much she cares? 70 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:05,640 -Yeah. -[sobs] 71 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:10,079 [Jay] But it's like why did she-- Why lie about it though? 72 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:13,760 [Daisy exhales] 73 00:04:15,239 --> 00:04:16,159 [sniffles] 74 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:18,920 Let's think about our next session together. 75 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,760 We can think about the future. 76 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,080 What you two want from each other. 77 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:24,920 Yeah. 78 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:28,280 Remember, we're trying to draw a line under the past. 79 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:31,360 'Cause things have happened in both camps. 80 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,039 [Daisy sighs] 81 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:35,760 [sniffles] 82 00:04:43,919 --> 00:04:44,800 Thank you both. 83 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:47,000 -Thanks, Karen. -[Daisy] Thank you. 84 00:04:47,599 --> 00:04:49,520 -[Karen] See you next time. -[Jay] Yeah. 85 00:04:49,599 --> 00:04:51,240 -[Karen] Thank you. -[Jay] Bye. 86 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:52,479 [soft pop music plays] 87 00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:58,599 [Jay] I am sorry. I don't like seeing you upset. 88 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:01,640 This session, truths came out. 89 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:05,560 Both Daisy and Jay uncovered their own covert behaviors. 90 00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:11,400 And it's really important in couple therapy to get the "truth" out. 91 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:16,400 Obviously, these are things in the past that we've both lied about. 92 00:05:16,479 --> 00:05:21,200 I will definitely take responsibility for the part that I've played in it. 93 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:24,880 But this bullshit just needs to stop, man. 94 00:05:25,479 --> 00:05:27,599 The past has to be exorcized. 95 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:29,840 Resentments have to be worked through, 96 00:05:29,919 --> 00:05:32,840 talked about, accepted, integrated. 97 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:35,400 I don't really have much to say to you. 98 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:39,200 -I'm fine. -Mm-hmm. 99 00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:41,560 But I'm not fine with you. 100 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:44,280 Like, I'm not feeling you. I can't lie. 101 00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:46,919 [Karen] If a couple can clear the slate, 102 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:51,160 they can really start to engage in thinking and talking 103 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:53,280 and actually behaving differently 104 00:05:53,359 --> 00:05:55,760 in the present and for the future of their couple. 105 00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:57,840 ["One Letter" by Mic Drop plays] 106 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:01,440 ♪ I had to change my ways ♪ 107 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:04,280 ♪ I almost went insane ♪ 108 00:06:04,359 --> 00:06:06,880 ♪ I had to stop playing games ♪ 109 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:09,400 ♪ I couldn't stay the same ♪ 110 00:06:09,479 --> 00:06:11,520 ♪ Now I'm focused on my growth now ♪ 111 00:06:11,599 --> 00:06:14,160 ♪ 'Cause in a dark space Nice Amalfi Coast now ♪ 112 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:17,039 ♪ I had to change my ways ♪ 113 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:19,760 ♪ I almost went insane ♪ 114 00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:22,160 ♪ I had to stop playing games ♪ 115 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:24,680 ♪ I couldn't stay the same ♪ 116 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:26,560 ♪ Now I'm focused on my growth now ♪ 117 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:29,200 ♪ 'Cause in a dark space Nice Amalfi Coast now ♪ 118 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:31,520 ♪ We should probably make a toast now ♪ 119 00:06:31,599 --> 00:06:34,440 ♪ 'Bout to do the most now It's 'bout to go down ♪ 120 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:40,320 You know what I mean, we're so close. I'm never this close to anyone. [laughs] 121 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,960 Welcome to my world, baby. [chuckles] 122 00:06:43,039 --> 00:06:45,799 ♪ Let's go, sing a prayer for me ♪ 123 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:47,400 ♪ Sing a prayer for me ♪ 124 00:06:47,479 --> 00:06:49,520 I'm a clowny person. I'm always having fun. 125 00:06:49,599 --> 00:06:52,400 I just wanna-- I don't know how the royals do it, you know. 126 00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:54,000 [laughing] 127 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:57,720 Hi, my name's Jermaine. I'm a workaholic. [laughs] 128 00:06:57,799 --> 00:07:01,640 J and I have been together for about 13 years. 129 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:03,880 We got married in 2020. 130 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:06,160 ♪ I've been down, no ♪ 131 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:07,599 ♪ I've been down… ♪ 132 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:10,320 Dami's probably got the sweetest soul 133 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:13,160 I've ever come into contact with in my life. 134 00:07:13,239 --> 00:07:16,880 Before I was a mum, I was pretty high-flying. I loved my career. 135 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:19,440 But when I got married and you settle down, 136 00:07:20,039 --> 00:07:22,560 whoops, you're pregnant. [laughs] 137 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:25,960 ♪ Low, low, low, low Ready for the good ♪ 138 00:07:26,039 --> 00:07:27,960 Life as a stay-at-home mum… 139 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:30,400 The sacrifice, yeah? 140 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:35,320 Jermaine doesn't seem to understand 'cause we don't see him. 141 00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:38,640 In work mode, I am intense. 142 00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:40,719 I take it really seriously. 143 00:07:40,799 --> 00:07:42,120 [trap music plays] 144 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,799 ♪ First thing we gon' do is run it up ♪ 145 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:50,479 I run a health care recruitment agency and a health care provision service. 146 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:52,599 No way did I expect 147 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:55,400 the business to do as well as it's doing and how it's done, 148 00:07:55,479 --> 00:07:57,640 but all of my hard work has paid off. 149 00:07:57,719 --> 00:08:03,919 Jermaine doesn't seem to have time for me or home life anymore. 150 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,479 Like, his work is a lot more demanding. 151 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:10,239 So I feel like I'm carrying the brunt of motherhood 152 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,919 and nuclear family life on my own. 153 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:16,120 I feel like she needs to trust me more 154 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:19,359 and be more submissive to me 155 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:22,760 and understand that, you know, I have our best interests at heart. 156 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:25,200 I'd say we're definitely growing apart, 157 00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:27,080 and we need to realign. 158 00:08:27,159 --> 00:08:28,640 ["Pure Delusion" by Mia Mormino plays] 159 00:08:28,719 --> 00:08:31,239 ♪ Running out of time now, dummy ♪ 160 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:35,120 ♪ Falling so behind Love to watch you stumbling ♪ 161 00:08:35,199 --> 00:08:37,559 [producer] How much does Jermaine mean to you? 162 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:38,600 [gentle music plays] 163 00:08:38,679 --> 00:08:40,760 [Dami] Yeah, he's everything to us. 164 00:08:41,959 --> 00:08:44,039 Couldn't imagine life without him, actually. 165 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:45,600 [fingernails clicking] 166 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:00,720 [Karen] Hello. 167 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:02,440 [music ends] 168 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:04,000 -[Karen] Welcome. -[exhales] Thank you. 169 00:09:04,079 --> 00:09:05,360 -[Karen] Dami. -[softly] Hi. 170 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:07,440 -[Karen] Jermaine. Nice to meet you. -How you doing? 171 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:08,920 Hello. Lovely to meet you. 172 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,120 So, what's brought you? 173 00:09:11,199 --> 00:09:15,160 I know that things are not right, but what is it? What is it… [chuckles] 174 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:18,800 Jermaine, you're looking at Dami. Dami's brought you. [laughs] 175 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:22,120 -[laughs] "She brought me here." -You're on board. 176 00:09:22,199 --> 00:09:23,600 I'm on board. 177 00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:26,280 -Okay. All right, so, what is it? -[Dami] Yeah. 178 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:29,600 [Karen] What do you think is going not quite right? 179 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:31,600 [Dami] I feel as though 180 00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:37,320 Jermaine doesn't have a great work-life balance. 181 00:09:37,839 --> 00:09:43,839 He spends more time focusing on his own career, his goals, 182 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:47,560 more than focusing on what's happening inside of the home. 183 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:50,600 He's going out there and meeting clients, 184 00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:54,959 and I'm just at home with sick on my shoulder, 185 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:57,680 you know, looking like a foot, 186 00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:01,920 and not really having anyone to share the load of home life with. 187 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:05,400 -And I just don't think it's fair really. -Which bit's not fair? 188 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,760 All of it. [laughs] 189 00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:12,720 He just comes in and goes as he pleases. 190 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:16,440 Like, we're more flatmates than we are a married couple. 191 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:21,160 How do you feel about this, Jermaine? 192 00:10:22,199 --> 00:10:23,040 Um… 193 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:28,600 I feel like I'm doing everything I can for my family. 194 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:32,280 I'm not doing it selfishly. She looks like a foot at home. 195 00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:35,199 You know, I'm, you know, stressed out there. 196 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:38,400 I'm not calling her a foot. I'm using her analogy, by the way. 197 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:41,440 -Um… Well, no, you're-- -You're calling me a foot, actually. 198 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:44,000 -Well, you're a beautiful foot, but… -[laughs] 199 00:10:44,079 --> 00:10:45,600 [Jermaine] But, you know… 200 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:50,480 Um… I work. Like, what else am I supposed to do? 201 00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:53,880 Um, I don't think I should be penalized for being hardworking, 202 00:10:53,959 --> 00:10:56,320 for trying to, you know, do things for my family. 203 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:59,440 I'm not penalizing you for being hardworking. 204 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:03,120 I appreciate that you're hardworking, but what I'm saying is, 205 00:11:03,199 --> 00:11:07,120 whenever you have a break, you don't use that break to spend time with me. 206 00:11:07,199 --> 00:11:12,000 You use that break to go out or meet your friends or socialize. 207 00:11:12,079 --> 00:11:15,360 Like, for instance, yesterday, I was at home, 208 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:18,280 I had to do the bath, I had to do the nighttime routine, 209 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:20,199 and he went to see Usher 210 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:22,360 in a box with his friend. 211 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:25,480 "Ooh, look at me. Ooh, I'm in a box. Ooh, yay, yay, yay." 212 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,160 Dami, can I just… 213 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:29,920 -Usher's a band, isn't it? -An artist. 214 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,640 -An artist. -[Karen] An artist. Exactly. 215 00:11:31,719 --> 00:11:35,240 So you were in a box, dancing away while all this was going on at home. 216 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:38,560 -With his friend, chilling. -When you put it like that, it sounds bad. 217 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,719 [Dami] When he mentioned it, like, a few weeks ago, 218 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:47,199 I said, "Oh, I'd love to see Usher." Like, he's one of my childhood heroes too. 219 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:52,000 -And he was like… [laughs] -Forget Usher. Let's move on from Usher. 220 00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:53,199 -[Dami] Okay. -Cool. Yeah. 221 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:54,839 What I wanna get to is, 222 00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:58,360 is this agreed that you're a stay-at-home mum? 223 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:00,320 When we had our first baby… 224 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:01,240 [Karen] Yes. 225 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:02,839 …we both agreed 226 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:07,520 that I was gonna stay at home for the first two years of their life. 227 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:10,760 We weren't self-employed then, so we were both working. 228 00:12:10,839 --> 00:12:12,640 What were you doing? Tell me about your job. 229 00:12:12,719 --> 00:12:16,120 [Dami] Yeah. Oh, I loved my job. I was a project manager. 230 00:12:16,199 --> 00:12:17,920 -[Karen] Yes. -And I worked my way up. 231 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:21,199 And I was traveling out with work. 232 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:24,680 I was going on holiday. I was buying what I wanted. 233 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:26,440 I was just free. 234 00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:28,120 Yeah. So how does it feel? 235 00:12:28,199 --> 00:12:31,120 You-- It-- You've lost a piece of yourself. 236 00:12:31,199 --> 00:12:32,360 [Dami sighs] 237 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:35,280 Karen, I felt really down 238 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:38,800 because Jermaine, like, went into something new. 239 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:40,199 It's growing and booming, 240 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:43,240 and he was, like, the most confident and the most happy. 241 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:46,040 But I just kind of felt, like, left behind. 242 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:50,160 Now I feel like we've fallen into the 1950s, 243 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:52,040 where I'm the housewife 244 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:54,120 and he just brings home the bacon. 245 00:12:54,959 --> 00:12:56,959 -And I hate pork. -[Karen chuckles] 246 00:12:58,199 --> 00:13:01,079 Okay, Jermaine, what do you… What do you… What do you think? 247 00:13:02,199 --> 00:13:04,839 I feel when Dami goes on these, you know, 248 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:08,199 I would say, rants about me being absent, 249 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:09,640 I kind of feel like 250 00:13:09,719 --> 00:13:14,360 you don't appreciate what I've kind of been through on my side, you know? 251 00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:16,480 Life has changed. 252 00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:20,160 And I feel like Dami isn't running as fast as I am, right? 253 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:22,440 -I feel like when that-- -I've got more load. 254 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:24,800 I've literally got a three-year-old, 255 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:26,719 I've got a three-month-old, 256 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:28,719 who are pretty heavy. 257 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,880 So I can't run as fast as you. 258 00:13:30,959 --> 00:13:34,240 I've had to slow my entire life down 259 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,199 to be at their beck and call 260 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:37,959 and at yours as well. 261 00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:40,839 I get it. You're busy. Do you know what I mean? 262 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,719 I get it. You're successful. 263 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:46,400 However, where we are in our life right now, 264 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:48,959 you need to be available. 265 00:13:49,599 --> 00:13:53,520 How is your relationship? How is… How is intimacy? How is… 266 00:13:53,599 --> 00:13:55,800 How are you two as a couple? 267 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:59,360 Dami's my best friend. Like, it's always gonna be like that, but… 268 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:01,599 There isn't much intimacy. 269 00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:05,560 I hear you, babe, but we are in separate bedrooms. 270 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:07,760 How long have you been in separate bedrooms? 271 00:14:07,839 --> 00:14:11,360 Not slept in the same bedroom properly, as in together, 272 00:14:11,959 --> 00:14:13,280 for nine months. 273 00:14:15,079 --> 00:14:18,079 It feels like you don't… Neither of you, actually, 274 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:21,040 are making the time for connection or intimacy. 275 00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:23,479 And sleeping apart doesn't help, I would've thought. 276 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:25,640 It doesn't help, but how… 277 00:14:25,719 --> 00:14:28,680 Like, as a lady, as a woman, right, 278 00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:31,839 you can't turn up at eleven o'clock, knock, knock, "Can I come in?" 279 00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:34,040 "No, you can't come in. Closed." 280 00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:35,400 "Closed." 281 00:14:35,479 --> 00:14:36,479 "Fully closed." 282 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:40,199 You need to, like, open up shop, pull up the shutters, you know, 283 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:43,640 put the key in the lock, open the door. "This is a nice place." 284 00:14:43,719 --> 00:14:46,199 I think I prefer a 24-hour service. 285 00:14:46,959 --> 00:14:49,079 -It should. -It doesn't work like that. 286 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:50,560 -It should. -I'm not a robot. 287 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,439 -Intimacy doesn't work like that. -[Dami] Thank you. 288 00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:57,760 Jermaine, I can see you're getting frustrated. 289 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:00,479 Because I feel like… 290 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:05,199 I just feel like if you were in my shoes for a day, you would understand. 291 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:08,160 This session is so one-sided. 292 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,560 Karen keeps talking about Dami's feelings. 293 00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:12,439 What about Jermaine's feelings? 294 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,959 It doesn't feel like you've got the fertile ground for intimacy. 295 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:19,880 -That you're not sowing the seeds. -The crop don't grow here. 296 00:15:19,959 --> 00:15:22,479 -[Karen] You're not sowing the seeds. -Dry land. No water. 297 00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:26,079 What I'm hearing is that you don't feel like your needs are met. 298 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:27,400 -Either of you. -[Jermaine] No. 299 00:15:27,479 --> 00:15:28,839 -No. -I try my best. 300 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:32,479 I could be in your shoes for a day, and I'd still find time for you. 301 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,760 That's… That's… That's an opinion, but it's not… it's not reality. 302 00:15:36,839 --> 00:15:39,439 I'm planning ahead. I wanna retire in eight years 303 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:41,920 so I can spend time with my family. 304 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,719 That's what I'm working towards. 305 00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:46,400 -Would you be happy with that, Dami? -Of course she would. 306 00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:47,560 Who wouldn't be? 307 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:49,680 [Dami] That life sounds beautiful, 308 00:15:50,439 --> 00:15:52,199 but tomorrow's not promised. 309 00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:53,839 Like, his dad's unwell. 310 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:57,640 What happened to your father, Jermaine, that was… 311 00:15:57,719 --> 00:15:59,959 He got really ill. 312 00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:02,120 Has been in hospital for a couple of years. 313 00:16:02,199 --> 00:16:03,760 And that was unexpected? 314 00:16:03,839 --> 00:16:05,800 Very much so. Yeah. 315 00:16:06,319 --> 00:16:09,079 -Has that increased your responsibility? -For sure. Yeah. For sure. 316 00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:10,000 100%. 317 00:16:10,079 --> 00:16:12,680 People call me, family call me, "Oh, can you do this?" 318 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:15,359 You've stepped into the shoes as head of the family as well? 319 00:16:15,439 --> 00:16:18,240 For sure. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. For sure. 320 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,040 I'm wondering how difficult it is for you 321 00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:24,120 to be present and deal with emotional connection. 322 00:16:24,719 --> 00:16:26,280 Probably is difficult. 323 00:16:26,359 --> 00:16:28,599 Like, I'm not really an emotional person. 324 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:30,479 What does that mean? You don't feel? 325 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,520 I internalize. 326 00:16:32,599 --> 00:16:34,800 Ye-- I just-- You know, it is what it is. 327 00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:39,800 I hate feeling vulnerable. It's not my cup of tea. 328 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:44,719 Um, it's something that I'm open to exploring, 329 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:48,599 but I don't wanna dive in too deep. I like staying in the shallow end. 330 00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:50,880 [tense music plays] 331 00:16:50,959 --> 00:16:55,400 You've had a lot of changes. You haven't really had time to transition. 332 00:16:55,479 --> 00:16:58,079 And, Dami, maybe you can think about 333 00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:02,120 just how Jermaine is experiencing this transition 334 00:17:02,199 --> 00:17:04,079 and that he is a bit overwhelmed with it all, 335 00:17:04,159 --> 00:17:05,919 that there is a lot going on. 336 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,399 And I hear that your needs are not being met, 337 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,800 but perhaps there's a conversation around that. 338 00:17:11,599 --> 00:17:12,800 A lot to think about. 339 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:13,720 Yeah. 340 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:19,040 ♪ Try, you're either with me Or you're not on my side ♪ 341 00:17:20,159 --> 00:17:22,680 [Karen] There is so much going on in this couple. 342 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:26,760 Dami, who was once a high-flyer, out there in the world, career girl, 343 00:17:26,839 --> 00:17:29,240 is now at home with two children. 344 00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:32,960 And Jermaine, who wasn't quite so successful, is now the high-flyer. 345 00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:36,880 And now he has to walk a line, a very, very, very fine line, 346 00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:41,680 between all of that power and control, ego and success, 347 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:45,840 and love, compassion, and equality in his relationship with Dami. 348 00:17:45,919 --> 00:17:48,120 ♪ Yeah, I'd like to see you try ♪ 349 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:51,360 ♪ You're either with me Or you're not on my side ♪ 350 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,000 ♪ No such thing as stalemate I got this freeze-dried ♪ 351 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:55,600 [Mike] Can we just order something? 352 00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:58,000 -I don't really want that. -We're not ordering again. 353 00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:01,560 I cannot believe how much money we're wasting on food. 354 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:04,399 And every week I have to have this conversation with you. 355 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:06,760 [Mike] I'm hungry. I don't want what's in the house. 356 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,280 What's the problem with that? 357 00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:10,840 You're being silly. I'm not having this conversation with you. 358 00:18:10,919 --> 00:18:12,960 -You're being silly. It's fine. -[Mike] Cool. 359 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:19,720 ♪ Yeah, I'd like to see you try ♪ 360 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:20,880 [song ends] 361 00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:23,919 -[woman] What's been happening? -I went to my second therapy session. 362 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,320 You know that girl that he took out when we broke up? 363 00:18:26,399 --> 00:18:27,520 [woman] Yeah. 364 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:30,919 That, "Oh, by the way, like, after the date, I kissed her." 365 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,919 -Oh! -I can't lie. I felt violated. 366 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:39,919 But the point of us going to therapy was to let go of the past. 367 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,360 -It happened in the past. -[Ayesha] Build on things. Forgive. 368 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:46,240 I feel like I'm really learning to, like, not stay stuck in my feelings. 369 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:47,360 [Ayesha] 100%. 370 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:51,399 I'm not gonna lie, like, he tried to lips me, and I was just thinking… Mm. 371 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:53,440 "Your lips are dirty." Like, don't go-- 372 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:57,040 -"The same lips you used--" -"I don't want them lips right now." 373 00:18:57,120 --> 00:18:59,240 I wanted to punch his face. 374 00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:02,800 But if you genuinely see him as your partner for life, 375 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:06,520 you need to learn to forgive. At least he's admitted it now. 376 00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:11,320 ♪ What you gonna choose ♪ 377 00:19:11,919 --> 00:19:13,720 ♪ Are we, are we gonna make it ♪ 378 00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:18,600 ♪ Are we gonna lose… ♪ 379 00:19:18,679 --> 00:19:20,159 Shay was the one that pursued me. 380 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:24,560 It was nice to know that she had eyes on me from the very beginning. 381 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,840 ♪ I be looking into my reflection ♪ 382 00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:29,800 ♪ Trying every pretty imperfection ♪ 383 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,120 When my friend posted Mons on Snap, 384 00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:35,360 it was an instant, yeah, like, she looked good. 385 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:39,240 When I met her, we just vibed, and I thought, yeah, this is my person. 386 00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:40,640 Mons is my best friend. 387 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:42,000 That's my twin. 388 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:45,360 ♪ I wanna be the one to love you ♪ 389 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:48,159 [Mons] She's extremely caring. She's extremely attentive. 390 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:50,640 She literally just wants to be in my skin, 391 00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:52,679 which is great 'cause that's all I've wanted. 392 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:55,560 ♪ I wanna have you for my own ♪ 393 00:19:56,120 --> 00:19:59,159 The worst thing about Shay is 394 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:02,480 she likes attention. 395 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:06,280 ♪ Yeah, I got moves to make Don't wanna waste no time ♪ 396 00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:09,720 ♪ I don't wanna lose my mind Everything that I own is mine ♪ 397 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,320 I do get a lot of attention from women. 398 00:20:12,399 --> 00:20:15,320 They could be straight. They could be gay, bisexual. 399 00:20:15,399 --> 00:20:17,440 If I want it, I can get it. 400 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:21,440 I don't know if I can count how many times she's cheated. 401 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,560 What she likes to say, "It's just talking." 402 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,600 ♪ This gon' be a good year ♪ 403 00:20:25,679 --> 00:20:29,399 I've put her through a lot of stress. 404 00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:34,560 When Shay's away throughout the night, throughout the day, 405 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,360 and I don't speak to her, I definitely get anxious. 406 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:38,919 I definitely get nervous. 407 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,320 I feel like that comes naturally when you've been cheated on 408 00:20:41,399 --> 00:20:45,159 or when someone's broken your trust so many times. 409 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:46,200 [song ends] 410 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:48,919 ["Take My Time" by Harrison Walker & Sam Hurst plays] 411 00:20:50,679 --> 00:20:52,480 [laughing] 412 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:54,880 [laughing] 413 00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:57,720 Are you ready to settle down? 414 00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:00,919 Yeah, I'm ready, man. Like, I'm ready still. 415 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:02,840 But I still feel like 416 00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:06,679 she still believes that I'm still outside. 417 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:11,240 Yeah. I reckon that's now the… the common issue, 418 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,040 that you can't control yourself when you go out. 419 00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:16,399 When we went out the other day or whenever… Nah. 420 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:19,280 -[man] You was trying to creep on Suella. -Oh, you lot… 421 00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:22,240 [laughing] 422 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:24,360 [phone rings] 423 00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:26,320 -[Denzill] Who's that? -See what I'm saying? 424 00:21:26,399 --> 00:21:29,159 [laughing] 425 00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:30,919 -[Shay] See? -[J Suede] Can't make this up. 426 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,200 When I say I'm out with the guys, I'm out with the guys. 427 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:35,399 Like, just let me have my breather, innit? 428 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:39,640 This is the battle that I'm having because she wants me to answer. 429 00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:41,679 -[Denzill] Yeah. -I don't wanna answer. 430 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,720 And this is me telling her, "You need to believe my word." 431 00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:46,320 -Yeah. -"You're not believing my word." 432 00:21:46,399 --> 00:21:49,480 -[phone rings] -Guess who's calling me? 433 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,600 -[Shay] See what I'm saying? -[J Suede] No way. 434 00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:57,560 How long do you think she'll be able to wait for you to change? 435 00:21:57,640 --> 00:21:59,760 ["Take My Time" continues] 436 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,960 ♪ So I will take my time ♪ 437 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:03,720 ♪ 'Cause I got offended by… ♪ 438 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:04,720 Hello, both. 439 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:06,080 -You all right? -Come on in. 440 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,240 It's make-or-break time. 441 00:22:09,439 --> 00:22:13,560 This is our last resort, and if she doesn't make a change, 442 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:15,640 and if the trust doesn't start to build, 443 00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:18,000 then this will be the end of our relationship. 444 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:21,720 ["Take My Time" ends] 445 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,560 [Karen] How long have you two been together? 446 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:25,640 [Mons] Go on. 447 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:27,399 -Oh, wait. -I'd like to hear it from you. 448 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,600 Two and a half-- Two and a half years. 449 00:22:29,679 --> 00:22:31,159 -[Karen] Two and a half years? -Yeah. 450 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:33,399 -Do you live together? -[Shay] Yeah, we do. 451 00:22:34,360 --> 00:22:35,679 And children? 452 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:37,480 -[Shay] No. Not yet. -Not yet. [chuckles] 453 00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:38,880 -Not yet? Okay. -[Shay] Yeah. 454 00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:40,919 -[laughing] -[Karen] Not yet. Okay. 455 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:45,040 -So, what brings you here today? -So I've brought Shay here today. 456 00:22:45,120 --> 00:22:46,120 -I'm here. -[Karen] Yeah. 457 00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:47,040 [Mons] Um… 458 00:22:47,120 --> 00:22:50,040 The reason why I brought her, is when I started speaking to Shay, 459 00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:55,120 I didn't know much about her background in regards to, like, previous relations. 460 00:22:55,200 --> 00:23:00,800 But when we became public, I quickly found out who she was. 461 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,159 Um, when I say who she was, I mean, you know, 462 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:05,480 she's spoken to a lot of people in the past, 463 00:23:06,399 --> 00:23:07,520 slash present, 464 00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:11,880 um, and had loads of exes, loads of just… 465 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:13,600 -Girls. -…peak girls. 466 00:23:13,679 --> 00:23:17,560 So I got a lot of, "Oh, Shay's a cheater." 467 00:23:18,159 --> 00:23:21,360 "Shay does this. Shay's never committed. She's not serious." 468 00:23:21,439 --> 00:23:23,000 And I just kinda let it go over my head, 469 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,600 like, "I'll learn the hard way." And I definitely did. 470 00:23:25,679 --> 00:23:27,000 [Karen] What happened? 471 00:23:27,679 --> 00:23:30,640 [Shay] Last year, it was like… 472 00:23:31,399 --> 00:23:34,240 I can say that it was like a make-or-break kind of thing. 473 00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:37,200 She found something out, and it was literally like, 474 00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:41,800 if I don't fix up now, then I'm gonna lose her, so… 475 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:43,679 Can you talk a bit about that, please? 476 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:45,880 -Can you say what she found out? -[Shay] Um… 477 00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:50,919 Um, yeah. Um… 478 00:23:51,679 --> 00:23:53,159 That I cheated on her. 479 00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,800 Now, how did she find out? 480 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:02,800 So there was one day, one weekend, where she never came home. 481 00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:04,840 -At this point, we lived together. -[Karen] Right. 482 00:24:04,919 --> 00:24:07,040 -[Mons] So… -She just-- You just didn't go home? 483 00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:09,200 She just didn't come home, uncontactable. 484 00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:11,560 And, like, you know when you get that gut feeling, 485 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,000 and then you feel sick, and it's just like, 486 00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:16,200 "I know she's doing something right now"? 487 00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:20,040 [Mons] I don't think Shay gets how much she's hurt me at all. 488 00:24:20,120 --> 00:24:23,560 It made me feel angry, irritated, 489 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:25,200 betrayed. 490 00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:29,720 And it also made me feel like everything was a facade. 491 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:33,240 She came back and said, "My friend was going through something." 492 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:34,840 "I had to go and support her." 493 00:24:34,919 --> 00:24:36,600 You'd… You'd worked out a story? 494 00:24:36,679 --> 00:24:37,640 -Yeah. -Yeah. 495 00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:40,480 Yeah. And when she's in panic mode, they just… 496 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:41,720 -[Karen] Stories. -Stories. 497 00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:43,919 All her friends are going through something crazy-- 498 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,240 There's scripts written so that you-- Right. 499 00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:48,320 But you already recognized that, Mons? 500 00:24:48,399 --> 00:24:51,720 -You knew it was gonna be a script? -100%. I knew it was gonna be a script. 501 00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:55,439 That's why I, like, already checked in with her family, with her friends. 502 00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:58,360 You can't say you was with this friend, 'cause I spoke to them already. 503 00:24:58,439 --> 00:24:59,840 Now they're also worried. 504 00:24:59,919 --> 00:25:03,880 So anyone you told me you're with now, I've already contacted. 505 00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:08,640 -Do you find it difficult to be honest? -Um… Yeah. 506 00:25:09,159 --> 00:25:12,280 If I'm doing something that I'm not supposed to be doing, yeah. 507 00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:15,919 Okay, so, "Doing something I'm not supposed to be doing." 508 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,240 What are you not supposed to be doing? 509 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:20,399 Um, giving 510 00:25:21,399 --> 00:25:22,560 other people attention 511 00:25:23,159 --> 00:25:24,600 if I'm in a relationship. 512 00:25:24,679 --> 00:25:26,159 Do you agree with that? 513 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:27,360 No, I do agree. 514 00:25:27,439 --> 00:25:29,600 -Uh, it's just a habit that I've got. -[Karen] Yes. 515 00:25:29,679 --> 00:25:31,480 [Shay] It's a bad habit, I can admit that. 516 00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:33,320 -Bad habit? -[Shay] Yeah. 517 00:25:33,399 --> 00:25:37,640 But… Can you just be a bit more explicit about a bad habit? 518 00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:40,000 Bad habit, as in like, I'm in a relationship. 519 00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:43,760 Like, I'll get the attention, for an example, temptation, when I'm out. 520 00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:45,679 -Temptation? -Yeah. 521 00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:48,679 She gets attention from any female. 522 00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:51,120 Getting attention is one thing, but-- 523 00:25:51,199 --> 00:25:52,960 Entertaining it is different. 524 00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:56,600 -Well, also, looking for it. -Yeah, see, I don't go looking for it. 525 00:25:56,679 --> 00:25:58,000 -I disagree. -[Karen] Oh. 526 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,320 [Shay] All right, so if I'm on a night out, 527 00:26:00,919 --> 00:26:05,320 I will have, like, a female that'll walk up to me, for an example, 528 00:26:05,399 --> 00:26:08,199 and that there would be the temptation. 529 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:13,159 As in, like, if you have the confidence to walk up to me… 530 00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:15,600 That's appealing, that's sexy, that's attractive? 531 00:26:15,679 --> 00:26:17,080 Yeah. Like, just… 532 00:26:17,159 --> 00:26:19,880 You're owning the room like you know what you want kind of thing. 533 00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:21,199 Like, yeah. 534 00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:27,560 I had no idea that she was that easily led 535 00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:29,080 by a bit of confidence. 536 00:26:29,159 --> 00:26:30,679 I think that's wild to me. 537 00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:34,560 'Cause most girls are confident now anyway, like… 538 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:37,560 So to me, it's like anyone can have it. 539 00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:40,560 -[Mons] If I started talking to someone. -[Shay] Mm-hm. 540 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:43,320 "Hey, baby. Hey, beautiful. I hope you have a good day." 541 00:26:43,399 --> 00:26:44,480 Is that not cheating? 542 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:48,919 I personally think cheating is, you know, when you have 543 00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:53,000 sexual conversations or if you sleep with someone. 544 00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:56,320 What about you? What's cheating for you? 545 00:26:56,399 --> 00:26:58,720 Cheating for me is anything you have to hide. 546 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,960 If you've gotta hide a conversation, if you've gotta hide your phone, 547 00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:05,120 if you've gotta lie about where you're going or what you're doing, 548 00:27:05,199 --> 00:27:06,240 you are cheating. 549 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:09,080 Because you're stepping out on our relationship. 550 00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:12,520 I mean… Ugh, I don't know, man. 551 00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:16,080 Can I ask, 552 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:19,280 how many times have you cheated on Mons? 553 00:27:21,360 --> 00:27:22,399 Um… 554 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:26,120 -What, are we talking about, like-- -In my definition. 555 00:27:26,199 --> 00:27:28,640 -Yeah, let's use Mons' definition. -[Shay] In her-- [chuckles] 556 00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:30,560 -Uh… I-- -Can't count, can ya? 557 00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:32,640 -I don't know. -[Mons] Yeah. 558 00:27:33,399 --> 00:27:36,240 Okay, in your definition then, Shay, how many times have you cheated? 559 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:37,800 -You're gonna say once. -Once. 560 00:27:39,439 --> 00:27:41,120 How many times do you think she's cheated? 561 00:27:41,199 --> 00:27:43,640 I can't count. It's countless. 562 00:27:44,679 --> 00:27:47,880 So cheating has become a bit of a norm for you. 563 00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:49,040 [Shay] Yeah. 564 00:27:50,159 --> 00:27:51,960 Can I go back to the once? 565 00:27:53,159 --> 00:27:56,000 How did it feel, the thought of not getting her back? 566 00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:58,640 It hurt still. 567 00:27:59,159 --> 00:28:00,360 -[Karen] Okay. -Yeah. 568 00:28:01,679 --> 00:28:02,520 Yeah. 569 00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:04,240 Yeah. 570 00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:06,360 -It hurt a lot? -Yeah. 571 00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:08,520 What did it feel like? 572 00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:11,000 I guess like… 573 00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:14,439 I kind of lost my best mate. 574 00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:16,399 [melancholy music plays] 575 00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:20,800 But if I did everything that you did, would you stay with me? 576 00:28:23,199 --> 00:28:24,120 No. 577 00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:32,120 So you expect Mons to behave differently to you? 578 00:28:33,439 --> 00:28:34,320 Yeah. 579 00:28:36,679 --> 00:28:38,080 How does that feel for you? 580 00:28:38,679 --> 00:28:41,800 Uh, I just think it's double standard, to be honest. 581 00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:43,560 Mm. 582 00:28:44,879 --> 00:28:49,040 -So how does that leave you feeling, Shay? -Like, that's why, like, now… 583 00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:51,600 I-- Like I said, I can't keep doing this kind of thing, 584 00:28:51,679 --> 00:28:53,240 because I'm about to lose her. 585 00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:57,639 Mm. 586 00:28:59,879 --> 00:29:02,240 [music intensifies] 587 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:08,600 [Shay exhales] 588 00:29:09,679 --> 00:29:11,080 [Mons] Love isn't enough. 589 00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:13,240 Because 590 00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:16,040 if things don't change, 591 00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:19,120 then we're gonna have to love each other from a distance. 592 00:29:20,639 --> 00:29:21,520 God. 593 00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:28,760 [exhales] 594 00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:35,879 [music ends] 595 00:29:35,959 --> 00:29:37,360 ["I Don't Believe In Love" plays] 596 00:29:37,439 --> 00:29:38,800 ♪ I don't believe in love ♪ 597 00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:42,240 ♪ If you don't believe in me Then why'd I believe in us? ♪ 598 00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:45,399 ♪ Like, why would I even trust? So just cut all the feeling stuff ♪ 599 00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:47,159 ♪ 'Cause you be speaking Without a meaning ♪ 600 00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:50,439 ♪ That's why all of my feelings numb 'Cause I can't be feeling dumb ♪ 601 00:29:50,959 --> 00:29:52,320 ♪ I don't believe in love ♪ 602 00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:55,760 ♪ Said she don't believe in me Then why'd I believe in us? ♪ 603 00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:58,879 ♪ Like, why would I even trust? Told her cut all the feeling stuff ♪ 604 00:29:58,959 --> 00:30:02,199 ♪ 'Cause she be speaking without a meaning That's why all my feelings numb ♪ 605 00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:04,040 ♪ 'Cause I can't be feeling dumb ♪ 606 00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:32,879 ♪ I don't believe in love ♪ 607 00:30:33,399 --> 00:30:36,080 ♪ If you don't believe in me Then why'd I believe in us? ♪ 608 00:30:36,159 --> 00:30:37,199 [song ends] on't believe in me Then why'd I believe in us? ♪