We are having a baby.
Morning, Shaun.
Were you watching me sleep?
Yes.
Hmm.
We are having a baby.
Mm.
And that baby is making me feel
like I ate three-month-old sushi.
[sighs]
Good morning, Berry.
Why are you making Mommy feel this way?
Are we naming it Berry?
For now, because he's the size of a blueberry.
I can just picture your face
on a little blueberry-sized baby.
At week seven, the fetus has developed webbed hands and feet,
and you have started to form a mucus plug.
Ooh, your breath is killing me, Shaun.
I brushed my teeth twice because I thought we might have sex.
The mint from the… The toothpaste is, um…
It's… Mm-mm.
[sniffs]
Stop smirking like you're picturing me naked.
Don't have to picture it. Saw it already.
You're running a little late. Did I keep you up too long last night?
Don't flatter yourself.
I'm not late, and it wasn't that long.
What are you doing?
Shielding us from the rain.
What do you think this is, The Notebook?
It's raining, and I shared my umbrella.
Having sex doesn't make us a thing.
We need to make clear boundaries.
I don't need romantic gestures from you.
I shared my umbrella. I didn't propose.
But I hear your message loud and clear.
You hate me, I hate you.
See you tonight?
[doorbell rings]
Can I help you?
Hello, Claire.
My name's Miles Browne.
I'm…
your father.
What are you doing here?
I've owed you a lot of answers for a long time, and…
Go home.
Um, whoa. I just, uh…
Well… Well, I wish I… I was a… A better…
Um, uh…
I don't want you to…
[stammers]
Can you lift your arms?
-Uh… -Keep them up.
Okay. Repeat after me.
"Don't cry over spilled milk."
D-Don't…
F-fry…
-[breathing shakily] -Oh.
We need to get you to the hospital. I think you're having a stroke.
[theme music playing]
The quickstep is my nemesis.
I lost my footing and landed on a 90-year-old judge
with very sharp elbows.
And he insisted I come in even though I'm fine.
Just a little sore.
Yeah, but Maya's "a little sore" is a normal person's excruciating.
Take the compliment, babe.
You're shivering.
The abdomen is tense and distended.
She's hypotensive.
We need to do an ultrasound
to check for acute abdominal injury.
I'm fine.
When did you start feeling lightheaded?
[Maya] About an hour ago.
There is significant pressure in the abdominal contents.
What does that mean?
She has a retroperitoneal bleed.
We need to get you into surgery right away.
Hi, Mr. Browne.
I'm Dr. Allen.
This is Dr. Park.
How are you feeling?
Much better.
I see where Claire gets her good looks.
BP looks good. 124 over 83.
Have you had these symptoms before?
Happens sometimes when I get migraines.
Migraines come when I'm stressed.
Don't cry over spilled milk.
Look, I don't want to take up too much of your time,
but is it possible we can go somewhere quiet and talk?
Maybe we could grab a coffee or dessert.
You know, you used to love rocky road ice cream.
Is that still your favorite flavor?
You just had a major neurological event.
We need to run some CT scans to identify the cause.
[Dr. Andrews] Found the bleeder. Clamp.
Need to open up the retroperitoneal space and pack.
BP's still dropping.
She's not clotting. She have any history of hemophilia or bleeding disorder?
-No. -Push FFP, TXA and fibrinogen.
Pack more lap pads and evacuate the hematoma.
[monitor beeping rapidly]
[rapid beeping]
[Asher] Pressure's rising.
[monitor beeping steadily]
This young lady almost died
from a collision with an elbow.
There must be something else going on here.
Find out what it is.
We'll start by scanning your abdomen.
I'll help you up on the bed.
[Miles] You were right.
[over intercom] It wasn't a migraine.
I have terminal cancer.
His oncologist started him on chemo.
It shrunk the tumor, but Miles didn't finish it.
The location of the metastases still likely leaves it inoperable.
[Jordan] I don't know.
If we use transcatheter hepatic artery chemoembolization,
we might be able to attack the tumor and spare his liver.
Claire? What do you think?
It's the patient's decision.
You should take it to him.
Let him decide.
[door opens]
You have abnormally large platelets.
It's a rare condition called Bernard-Soulier syndrome,
which makes it very difficult for your blood to clot.
It's why you almost bled out during surgery.
[Leo] Is it treatable? Will she be okay?
There's no cure, but it is manageable.
Keep an eye out for pain or bruising
or any other symptoms that don't go away.
That can be a sign of a larger problem.
It's just a pulled muscle.
You don't know that.
My left leg has been bothering me for a few weeks.
[Leo] Months.
I'm not overreacting.
We'll need to run CTs of your hip and femur
to rule out osteoarthritis or an occult fracture.
-How does that feel? -Weird.
-Oh. -Better?
Sure.
Why do I need this?
Back pain is a common symptom of pregnancy.
It's preventative.
You should take these twice a day with food or milk,
preferably food.
I already have prenatal vitamins.
You have the chewable gummy kind.
Tablets are better for the fetus.
Will you please stop calling it a fetus?
It is a fetus.
It's our baby.
I don't need you to do any of this, Shaun.
What do you need me to do?
Just be the dad, not the doctor.
Do you think I'm gonna drink this?
What's in it?
Urine? Saliva? Tropical fish?
Coffee.
Dr. Park, need to talk to you about our implant patient.
Let's do an additional split-thickness skin graft.
That's a pretty long and complicated procedure.
If you're gonna scrub in, you'll need the caffeine more than I do.
I hear you've been keeping some pretty late nights.
Too much caffeine before surgery leads to unsteady hands.
I can assure you, I'm well-rested.
I don't need the coffee.
Your father refused surgery.
His slurred speech was a side effect of chemo.
Treatment almost took him out.
He doesn't want to try again.
Thanks for letting me know.
I know a lot of girls who didn't have their fathers,
but yours did something theirs didn't.
He came back.
[chuckles] He came back to absolve himself of guilt.
It's a gift I'm not giving him.
That's his burden to carry.
Forgiveness isn't for the one you're forgiving.
It's for you.
[cell phone beeps]
[gasps] It's Miles.
His liver's bleeding.
Go.
[machine whirring]
They seem like a very nice couple.
Very… Connected.
I wish I knew how to be like that.
They're not a couple.
Leo's gay.
Can gay people really detect other gay people?
You can if you check out their Instagram.
Dr. Murphy…
I don't think she has arthritis,
but I don't know what this is.
Her disorder caused blood-filled pseudotumors in her leg.
The blood ate away her bone.
[Jordan] Your liver was bleeding
because your tumor exceeded its blood supply.
It puts you at risk for serious complications,
even a fatal one.
Please reconsider the surgery.
I'm not afraid of dying.
Where's my daughter? Why isn't she here telling me any of this?
[monitor beeping]
I think it's time for me to go home.
What about 3-D-printed scaffolding?
We could re-create the shape of the bone, graft new stem cells,
and allograft onto it to generate new growth.
Her underlying disorder would eat away the new bone.
Everything I do upsets Lea and makes her mad at me.
Oh. That's what I'm doing here, I'm guessing?
Mm-hmm. Yes.
You're both here because I have two questions.
When I tell my patient her femur bone is destroyed,
she is going to ask if I can save her leg,
and I don't have an answer to that.
Lea and I are in love. We're going to have a baby.
We should feel very happy right now,
but I feel like I'm living with a stranger
who doesn't want me to breathe on them.
We could do an expandable osseointegrated limb replacement.
-Too risky. -Too many surgeries, yeah.
Well, you're gonna have a kid, Shaun.
You… You can't expect everything to be the same.
Lea's going through a whole lot of changes.
You both are.
N-No, I'm the same.
Well, maybe that's the problem, Shaun.
You're in a relationship with three people now.
You're gonna have to make some adjustments.
Both of you.
Okay.
We could use high-density polyethylene
on the distal femoral segment to anchor it to the tendons.
I don't like adjusting.
[knock on door]
You wanted to see me?
If we discharge him, he's going to die.
I don't expect you would feel anything but contempt for Miles.
He was supposed to take care of you, and he didn't.
And now I'm asking you to do for him what he never did for you.
No, he did take care of me.
He just quit.
He used to pick me up every day after school.
And then, one day, he just stopped showing up.
And for years after, I would come home,
I'd make sure the curtains were open, and I'd wait.
If a car slowed down in front of the house,
I'd imagine it was him coming to grab me up and rescue me,
and I thought if I wanted it enough, he'd come back.
So I just… I just had to want it more, you know?
And finally, I gave up. I stopped looking out the window.
I grieved and buried my father a long time ago, and I'm just…
I'm not interested in getting to know him
just to grieve him all over again.
But he's still your father, and you're still you.
Some day you'll hate yourself if you turn your back on him.
We would secure the titanium prosthetic
to the hip socket and tibia
using cement augmentation for stability and support.
You would have full flexibility and range of motion,
and with physical therapy, you should be able to dance again.
If you survive the surgery.
-I could die? -Yes.
There is a 10% to 15% chance, approximately.
Femur replacement is a very complicated procedure,
made even riskier by your underlying condition.
The safest route is to amputate.
Very little chance of major complication during surgery,
and there have been great advancements in prosthetics.
My dance career would be over.
Most likely, but you would still have your life.
My life is dance.
I…
Do whatever it takes to save the leg.
Oh, My.
It's too big a risk.
You know what this means to me.
Hey.
But if there's a chance I could die tomorrow,
there's something I have to do first.
♪ Maybe I played My cards wrong ♪
♪ Oh, just a little bit wrong ♪
♪ Oh, baby, I-I-I ♪
♪ Apologize for it ♪
♪ I could fall, or I could fly ♪
♪ Here in your aeroplane ♪
♪ And I could live ♪
♪ I could die hanging On the words you say ♪
♪ And I've been known To give my all ♪
♪ Sitting back ♪
♪ Looking at every mess That I've made ♪
♪ So don't call me baby ♪
♪ Unless you mean it… ♪
It is very hard to believe these two are not having sex.
♪ If you don't believe it ♪
♪ Let me know the truth ♪
♪ Before I dive right into you ♪
[Dr. Reznick] You should come over tonight.
Unless you need to rest up for your Franken-penis surgery.
You embarrassed me in front of a superior.
Did you get fired?
Did you get pulled off the surgery?
I was just getting you back for giving me that rancid coffee.
It was coffee.
Plain coffee with one cream and one sugar,
the exact coffee I've seen you have
every day for the last three years.
I was being nice.
Same reason I put an umbrella over your gigantic head.
I was being a decent human being.
When did we start doing that?
How was I supposed to know you didn't dose my coffee?
Because I'm not an emotionally stunted person. You are.
Anything that resembles intimacy freaks you out,
and you start throwing blows… Low ones.
And if hooking up causes you to cross boundaries like that,
it's better to go back to the way things were.
Barely friends, no benefits.
[monitor beeping]
You're in love with him.
Aren't you?
Is that why you're having the surgery?
You're afraid that if you lose dance, you lose him?
You are risking your life to save something that…
isn't real.
Leo and I share a life together.
We're partners in every sense of the word…
except one.
My best friend growing up was a girl named Rachel.
She and I lived in a very religious community,
so it was kind of assumed we'd get married.
Which was fine with me, because Rachel was…
beautiful…
And smart and funny.
And I loved her.
But then I fell in love with the boy down the street.
He never knew. Nothing ever happened between us.
But it's like all of a sudden,
the world…
lit up.
And I realized Rachel and I wasn't enough.
I had been lying to myself and to her.
She deserved to be loved and wanted in a way that…
lit up someone's world.
And she spent years loving someone
who could never give her that.
You need to tell Leo how you feel.
We share our secrets, our pain.
He listens to me when I've had a bad day.
He holds me when I'm scared.
I don't want anything to change between us.
[James Arthur's "Falling Like The Stars" playing]
♪ I swear to God when I come home ♪
♪ I'm gonna hold you so close ♪
♪ I swear to God when I come home ♪
♪ I'll never let go… ♪
Would you like me to spin you?
Okay.
♪ Like a river, I flow… ♪
Okay.
♪ To the ocean I know… ♪
Ow.
♪ Guiding me home… ♪
Okay, the s-swaying is making me feel really pukey right now.
Can we maybe try this at another time?
Ooh.
♪ We're fallin' like the stars ♪
♪ Falling in love ♪
[music stops]
I feel…
disconnected from you and the baby, which…
Yes, you are very connected to already,
but I don't feel anything.
Because it is not a baby yet.
It is a fetus, and…
It is making my girlfriend sick and mad at me.
And I feel very…
alone.
[sighs]
You are being so…
selfish.
I'm growing your baby, Shaun,
and reading books and making appointments
and taking vitamins the size of my face and working a full-time job.
And on top of that, you just dropped on me
that you don't feel anything for our baby
and expect me to make you feel love and connected and…
[sighs]
Mm. No. You know…
[door slams]
[knock on door]
Dr. Lim suggested I come talk to you.
I know you deserve better than me.
You deserved a father, and I failed you,
and I can't make up for that.
Breeze and I were high school sweethearts.
We thought we were gonna take over the world together.
We were young and naive and stupid.
And we got pregnant before graduation.
I had a scholarship to Howard,
but it didn't cover family housing.
So I gave it up, because I wanted to be there.
And yet, you left the family you gave it up for.
-You should have taken the scholarship. -We got married,
and we gave it a go for a while.
But I could not handle Breeze's mental illness.
When we broke up, she made it hard to see you.
Don't blame her for what you didn't do.
I am not blaming her.
I was immature.
At least she was there.
At least she stuck around…
Drunk and sick and out of her mind.
I… I waited for you, and I loved you, and you left.
Claire, I've always loved you.
Nothing could change that.
I thought about you every single day.
You know, I don't care.
Thinking about me wasn't enough.
It didn't do anything for me at all.
You…
You could have fought for me.
You could have come back before now.
I ran away.
I was a coward.
And I stayed away because I was running from my own guilt.
Whether I'm in your life or not, you should get the surgery.
Because if you don't…
then you're still a coward.
[birds chirping]
I feel scared, too.
What are you scared of?
Everything.
And I don't want to go through this alone.
I don't want to go through nine months
knowing you view this baby
as a medical condition you don't feel anything for.
I'll resent you.
And that scares me more than anything.
And I want to help you feel connected.
Oh, no, sorry. We're not having sex right now.
I realize that was misleading.
I want you to put your head on my belly and talk to Berry.
About what?
Anything.
Hello…
Berry.
My patient is a 26-year-old
ballroom dancer
with Bernard-Soulier syndrome.
She presented with a retroperitoneal bleed
but now needs
a total femur replacement.
It is a very risky surgery.
I am your father,
and I am a surgeon.
Did that make you feel better to talk to him?
No.
A fetus can't hear any sounds until 18 weeks,
and we don't know if it's a him yet
because it doesn't have fully formed genitals.
I will see you at your appointment later.
I don't think you should come.
There's a chance it's too early to hear a heartbeat,
which will make me feel sad and scared.
And if I can hear it, I will feel happy.
And either way, you will probably feel nothing.
And that'll make me feel more alone than I already do,
so you should just not come.
Okay.
[monitor beeping]
Isn't it possible Leo loves Maya as much as she loves him?
Does it matter that he doesn't want to have sex with her?
Sex isn't just about sex.
It's about intimacy and desire
and a deep mutual physical connection.
And she thinks she has that.
That's the last of the proximal femur.
Let's get the distal end out.
[Shaun] Maybe Maya and Leo have such a strong relationship
because it's based entirely on an emotional connection.
[monitor beeping rapidly]
[Asher] She's hypotensive.
[Shaun] There are secretions around her breathing tube,
and her oxygen levels are dropping.
She's rejecting the platelets.
[Dr. Andrews] Stop the transfusion.
Increase her oxygen and respiratory support.
Start dopamine and epinephrine.
[rapid beeping]
BP's 87 over 52. She's stabilizing.
But without the transfusions,
her risk of bleeding out goes way up.
Are we going to move forward or amputate?
[monitor beeping steadily]
Her partner's her proxy, right?
He's got a decision to make.
My God.
[sniffles]
She trusted me to protect her wishes.
And she wants to dance.
Y-You should try to save her leg.
Maya's in love with you.
That's why she's having the surgery.
She thinks if she loses dance, your relationship will end.
And only you know if she's right.
If she is…
If losing her leg means losing the two things she loves most,
then maybe you should honor her wishes.
But if she's wrong…
If you do love her and will stay with her no matter what,
then you should do whatever it takes to save her life.
Of course I love her.
There's no question that I love her.
[sighs] So, the only question is…
How much?
[door closes]
Miles is stable.
But we found significant polyp burden not detected on his CT,
and we sent to biopsies.
His cancer was caused by familial adenomatous polyposis.
That's genetic.
50% chance of carrying the gene
if you have an affected parent.
You need to get a genetic test.
Even if you have the gene,
with regular colonoscopies, we'll be able to catch it…
Thank you.
[door closes]
[sighs]
What's this?
Male, late 20s.
Needs bilateral carpal tunnel release surgery
that he got playing in the United States Chess Federation.
You like to play chess with Kellan.
Your game sucks. Figured you might learn something.
This is you being a decent human.
Maybe sometimes it's not terrible.
This is delightful.
I can give it to someone else.
Thanks.
Are you glad you went to see your father before he died?
No.
My father hurt me.
He was a bad man who did bad things.
I already knew that.
My father hurt me, too… By leaving me.
[sighs]
He didn't even try to be a good dad.
How can you be sure he didn't?
Maybe he did try and he couldn't.
[scoffs]
Well, if something is important to you, you make it happen.
But what if you can't?
What if you're trying to connect with your child
and it just doesn't work?
It is difficult to feel something
for someone you don't know yet.
Do you want to know what kind of man your father is?
Why… Why would you do this to me?
[voice breaking] I told you I was willing to take the risk.
I wasn't.
I love you. I couldn't risk your life.
I'm so sorry.
-But I'm here. -[sniffles]
I'm not going anywhere.
You're not gonna lose me.
We're gonna get through this, My.
We'll be okay.
[sobs]
I sleep all the time and I'm still tired.
When was your last bowel movement?
I don't know. A couple days.
Shaun, what are you doing here?
-[Shaun] Smile. -Uh, what?
There is something in your teeth.
Shaun.
Do you eat a lot of black licorice?
-Uh, yes. -You should stop.
Eating too much black licorice can lower potassium,
which causes fatigue and constipation.
Stop eating it.
That's it?
Yes.
Lea doesn't want me at her OB-GYN appointment.
There's a woman in the waiting room with a very interesting mole.
The year Maddie was born,
I took on twice as many surgeries.
I… [laughs] I hid at the hospital.
I was afraid that I was gonna piss off my wife.
Sound familiar?
Upset my daughter.
I thought you liked being a dad.
I did. I…
I just didn't think I was very good at it. I…
It didn't come naturally to me. Not like…
Not like brain surgery.
I missed a lot.
Sometimes I think if I had been there for the swaddling
and for the changing of the diapers and…
See her first steps, you know?
[sighs]
Shaun, do yourself a favor
and be there for as many moments as you can.
[rain falling]
[Dr. Park] Taking the scenic route?
Car needs brakes and Uber's taking forever.
Chess guy's super cool.
He's gonna teach me Petrov's Defense while he heals.
I didn't mean to take things so far in front of Andrews.
I guess I had a tiny overreaction.
It's okay for us to be nice to each other… Sometimes.
Headed home?
I wouldn't mind some company, if you're up for it.
See?
Nice is good.
Sometimes.
I'll see you at your place.
[monitor beeping]
Where's Leo?
I don't know.
I asked him if this could be enough.
If I could be…
He loves me.
I knew that.
But not enough.
I suppose I knew that too.
[sniffles]
As long as he was here, I would never make room for anyone else.
So I asked him to go.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
I'm sure there are a ton of great guys
who'd want to be with a one-legged,
unemployed former dancer with chronic nosebleeds.
[both chuckle]
[sniffles]
I've been mad at you for so long.
I…
That I couldn't feel any other emotion.
Just anger.
Angry at you.
Angry at myself for secretly wishing
you would turn up on my doorstep my entire life.
[sighs] I thought I'd outgrown it.
But when you went into surgery today…
I didn't feel anger.
I felt…
Fear.
[grunts softly]
[speaks hoarsely, indistinctly]
Get some rest.
When you feel better, you…
You can take me for rocky road.
That is still my favorite. [laughs]
I love you.
Are you ready?
Mm-hmm.
You came.
Hello.
I'm Dr. Shaun Murphy.
I'm the dad.
Nice to meet you, Dad.
We just got started.
-Where did you go to medical school? -Shaun.
Her diploma is not on the wall.
I would like to know.
Just be the dad.
Sit there, be quiet, do nothing.
[heartbeat]
Is that the…
[ob-gyn] That's the heartbeat.
Right there.
We're having a baby.
[laughs]
[closing theme music playing]