1 00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:09,551 [Vladimir] How does the Dorothy Parker saying go? 2 00:00:09,634 --> 00:00:11,469 [protagonist] She actually didn't say that. 3 00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:13,221 [Vladimir] What is it? I know you know it. 4 00:00:13,304 --> 00:00:15,432 -[protagonist chuckles] -[Vladimir] Come on. 5 00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:18,351 [protagonist] I like to have a martini. 6 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,687 Two at the very most. 7 00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:23,815 Three, I'm under the table. 8 00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:26,234 And four, I'm under the… 9 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:28,987 [breathy sigh] 10 00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:30,864 …host. 11 00:00:32,323 --> 00:00:33,199 [glass clinks] 12 00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:35,285 [theatrical music playing] 13 00:00:50,508 --> 00:00:52,010 Spanish nut mix? 14 00:00:52,093 --> 00:00:53,219 [chuckles] 15 00:00:55,638 --> 00:00:57,974 Your, uh… your house is… incredible. 16 00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,225 Oh, thank you. 17 00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:02,270 Right now, I wanna burn it all down, become a minimalist. 18 00:01:02,353 --> 00:01:04,939 No, it's… it's… it's the best kind of clutter. 19 00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:07,233 Is that your book? 20 00:01:10,361 --> 00:01:12,447 I, uh… can't wait to hear your thoughts. 21 00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:14,574 Well, I can't wait to read it. 22 00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:17,243 This is his cue to ask for mine. 23 00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:25,168 How are you feeling about classes starting tomorrow? 24 00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:27,670 Fine, I think. You know. 25 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:32,092 Do you know all the shortcuts, the labyrinthine intricacies? 26 00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:34,302 How… how intricate is it? 27 00:01:34,385 --> 00:01:35,929 -Well, do you have an ID yet? -No. 28 00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:37,722 I tried to get my photo taken the other day, 29 00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:39,140 but I couldn't find the office. 30 00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:42,644 Do you want me to take you there tomorrow? I could give you the underground tour. 31 00:01:42,727 --> 00:01:44,062 That would… that would be amazing. 32 00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:46,648 Oh shit! 33 00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:50,485 -[tense string chord plays] -[protagonist breathes heavily] 34 00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:56,074 -[door opens] -Hello? 35 00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:57,951 Hello. 36 00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:02,789 -[John] How's it going, man? -Oh. John, uh, we didn't expect you. 37 00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:06,417 -Uh, this is Vlad. Vlad, this is John. -You can shake my hand, bud. 38 00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:09,212 I don't think cancellation can be spread through skin-to-skin contact. 39 00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:11,297 Oh, no. I… I don't… I don't care… about that stuff. 40 00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:14,134 -Don't tease him. -I'm just messing with him. 41 00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:17,303 It's none of my business. Honestly, I'm… I'm actually starstruck. 42 00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:20,223 -I'm a huge fan of your criticism. -Come on, don't bullshit me. 43 00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:21,975 No, your book on Ashbery's first collection? 44 00:02:22,058 --> 00:02:24,310 That book is so fucking good, man. 45 00:02:25,603 --> 00:02:27,730 Well, thanks. I appreciate that. 46 00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:29,399 What are you doing home, John? 47 00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:31,818 Ah. May I, uh… steal this one for a second? 48 00:02:31,901 --> 00:02:33,903 -Yeah, I should get going. -Oh, no, don't go! 49 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,489 We haven't unpacked yet. I… I should be home for bedtime. 50 00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:38,408 Oh, you sweet modern fathers. 51 00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:41,244 I don't think John helped with bedtime ever. 52 00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:45,165 -How is your little one? -Uh, she's three. She's a… a beast. 53 00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:48,251 Oh, I love three. You can still control them with your body. 54 00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:50,295 Yeah. Well, yeah, it's better than two. 55 00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:52,046 Two almost killed Cynthia. 56 00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:53,464 Literally. 57 00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:58,678 -[John] Huh. -Uh, well, I can… I'll walk you out. 58 00:02:58,761 --> 00:02:59,721 Sure. 59 00:02:59,804 --> 00:03:01,598 -Hey, good to meet you. -Okay, yeah, you too. 60 00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:04,100 [mysterious music playing] 61 00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:23,912 [John] That hair's growing from your chin again. Heads up. 62 00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:25,163 Fuck! 63 00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:26,706 Wasn't there yesterday. 64 00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:28,291 -We need to talk. -No. 65 00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:29,250 Listen. 66 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,169 Uh, no, you're not even supposed to be here. 67 00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:34,839 -Stop acting like a teenage girl. -Don't denigrate teenage girls. 68 00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:38,843 -I've had some time to reflect. -I don't care. 69 00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,513 -Stop. I'm cleaning. Just sit down. -No, I need food. 70 00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:45,558 I'm hungry. I drank that martini on an empty stomach. 71 00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,894 I… I… I'll make you a sandwich. Sit down. 72 00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:59,489 -I'm sorry. -What are you sorry about? 73 00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:01,157 I'm sorry that I made you upset. 74 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,825 [scoffs] Okay. 75 00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:04,118 Sit! 76 00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:08,289 -Sorry that I was rude. -And dismissive. 77 00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:10,500 -And dismissive. -And patriarchal. 78 00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:11,668 [John sighs] 79 00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:12,961 Ooh, he doesn't like that. 80 00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:16,005 [John] I'm sorry that I was taking you for granted. 81 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,840 But I've been thinking about it, okay? 82 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,384 And I realized 83 00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:23,471 all we need to do is delay the hearing until the end of the year. 84 00:04:23,554 --> 00:04:26,933 That's it, and then I'll retire before the hearing can happen, 85 00:04:27,016 --> 00:04:29,560 and I'll get my full pension, and it'll be done. 86 00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:32,188 Think we can figure out how to make that happen? 87 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,398 You figure it out. 88 00:04:33,481 --> 00:04:35,441 -I need your help. -[toaster pops] 89 00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:38,027 [John] If Florence even saw me on campus, 90 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,655 I think that stick up her ass would come out of her mouth. 91 00:04:43,157 --> 00:04:44,284 You know… 92 00:04:45,576 --> 00:04:48,496 Lila joined the case. As a complainant. 93 00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:50,123 When? 94 00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:51,249 [John] Last week. 95 00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:53,960 -[sighs] -[John] So, I just… 96 00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:57,213 I think it's in your best interest to help me push it back. 97 00:04:57,714 --> 00:04:59,757 You could reach out to David. 98 00:05:06,597 --> 00:05:09,017 I talked to Sid this afternoon. 99 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:11,352 Why isn't she answering my calls? 100 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:12,895 [John] She's just acting out. 101 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:17,066 -How is it? -Mm. 102 00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:19,319 That's my girl. 103 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:24,407 And then I was also thinking Spanish 4 104 00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:27,243 because grad programs require written proficiency. 105 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,786 -Smart. -[student] And then, um… 106 00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:30,621 weight lifting for my anxiety. 107 00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:31,622 Also smart. 108 00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:35,585 And then, um… for my English requirement, I was thinking creative nonfiction. 109 00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,546 With Cynthia Tong. 110 00:05:40,631 --> 00:05:43,885 I thought you were taking Women in American Fiction with me. 111 00:05:43,968 --> 00:05:45,386 -Right, but-- -But of course. 112 00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,430 -I do-- -You wanna write essays. 113 00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:48,848 No, yeah. I've been trying. 114 00:05:48,931 --> 00:05:54,228 Yeah, it's very smart because, um… my class is so full in the fall. 115 00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:57,106 Students worming their way in off the wait list. 116 00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:00,860 Better to take it in spring when the students are abroad. 117 00:06:00,943 --> 00:06:04,530 -That's what I was thinking. -Absolutely! Take her class. 118 00:06:05,656 --> 00:06:07,909 Love to give new teachers a boost. 119 00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:08,951 [knocking on door] 120 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:09,869 Come in. 121 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,539 -Am I interrupting? -Oh, I have to go anyway. 122 00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:14,707 Oh. No, wait, wait. 123 00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:17,210 Uh, Vlad, this is Edwina. 124 00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:19,796 My best and favorite student. 125 00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:22,131 Edwina, this is Professor Vladinski. 126 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,049 Vlad, please. 127 00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:24,258 -Hi. -Hi. 128 00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:25,426 [Edwina] Um, okay. 129 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:26,803 -Bye-bye. -Bye. 130 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,388 -Hi. -Hi. 131 00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:31,140 -Um… so you came for the tour. -Mm-hmm. 132 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,059 Um, after you. Okay. 133 00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:35,937 [Vladimir] Hey, you. 134 00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:39,982 -You did not give me your book last night. -[protagonist] I thought you'd never ask. 135 00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:44,612 Aw, look at you. A copy all ready to go. 136 00:06:44,695 --> 00:06:45,613 Well… 137 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,075 Yes! [chuckles] 138 00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:50,868 It's a nice photo. 139 00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:52,245 Mm. I hate it. 140 00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:53,162 Why? 141 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:56,207 -Bit of a thirst trap, don't you think? -It's okay. 142 00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:58,167 Desire is okay. 143 00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:01,629 What are you working on now? 144 00:07:01,712 --> 00:07:04,298 Honestly, I've had crippling writer's block 145 00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:05,842 for the past 15 years. 146 00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:09,720 -Give me a break. That's not a real thing. -No, it is for me. I've tried everything. 147 00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:12,265 Artist's Way, microdosing ketamine. 148 00:07:12,348 --> 00:07:15,518 No, seriously. I have. Nothing works. 149 00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:17,687 Okay, well, then how are we gonna get you going again? 150 00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:19,480 I mean, who cares? 151 00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:20,481 Nobody. 152 00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:21,816 Well, thank you. 153 00:07:21,899 --> 00:07:26,279 No, that's why you should write 'cause nobody cares whether you do or not. 154 00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:28,614 Because that makes it free or something? 155 00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:30,450 It makes it yours. 156 00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:34,412 Something secret, dirty. 157 00:07:34,495 --> 00:07:35,788 Only for you. 158 00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:38,374 [deep breathing] 159 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:43,880 I try to stay away from secret and dirty things these days. 160 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:45,465 -Mm-hmm? -Mm-hmm. 161 00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:47,592 How's that working for you? 162 00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:57,143 [sighs] 163 00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:00,730 Trust me. 164 00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:03,733 After the first week, it'll be standing room only. 165 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:05,109 [phone pings] 166 00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:08,321 -[energetic pop music playing] -♪ Rain that sweat… ♪ 167 00:08:10,114 --> 00:08:11,032 [David] Hey. 168 00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:15,578 -You started without me? -Just warming up. 169 00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:25,463 So, are you coming to the faculty happy hour on Friday? 170 00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:27,423 I don't think so. 171 00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:32,261 Do you know the date for the hearing yet? 172 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:34,597 It's in the works. 173 00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:37,892 Do you know if it's this semester or next semester? 174 00:08:37,975 --> 00:08:39,936 [clears throat] It's gonna be soon. 175 00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:41,562 Oh, I'm just wondering 176 00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:45,399 because if we could delay until the end of the year, 177 00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:48,569 John could retire, and he'd be gone, 178 00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:51,280 and the department could avoid a whole mess. 179 00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,658 Is this about Lila? 180 00:08:53,741 --> 00:08:54,825 [sighs] 181 00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:57,245 -Do you think you could help me? -[David] No way. 182 00:08:57,995 --> 00:09:00,540 There's 0% chance I'm gonna intercede, okay? 183 00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:04,752 Fine. 184 00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:10,341 Do you know what's interesting? 185 00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:15,513 I've had the same email address at this college since 1996. 186 00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:18,099 Me too. What's interesting about that? 187 00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:22,144 Oh, it's just interesting the nonprofessional ways 188 00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:24,021 we used email back then. 189 00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:27,066 I mean, I was naive. I was tenure track at the time, 190 00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:30,069 but you were on my review board, weren't you? 191 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,071 You were, weren't you? 192 00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:36,117 When we were writing all these lovely, sexy emails to each other 193 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:39,412 and doing the other things, obviously. 194 00:09:40,037 --> 00:09:42,832 Things that, just to confirm, 195 00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:45,376 your wife is still unaware of, yes? 196 00:09:45,459 --> 00:09:46,586 [David grunts] 197 00:09:52,049 --> 00:09:53,467 You're better than this. 198 00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:56,637 Well, I thought I was, but apparently I'm not. 199 00:09:57,221 --> 00:09:58,222 Sorry. 200 00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:05,605 ♪ Turn me on, baby, strike up a storm Get me off… ♪ 201 00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:07,982 -[David] Okay. -♪ Strip it down to the core… ♪ 202 00:10:08,065 --> 00:10:10,359 All right. Then I'll see what I can do. 203 00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:13,529 -[David groans breathlessly] -Thank you. 204 00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:17,783 You should know this was a disappointing conversation. 205 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,994 ♪ Strike up a storm ♪ 206 00:10:20,077 --> 00:10:23,456 ♪ Get me off, strip it down to the core… ♪ 207 00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:24,874 [buttons beeping] 208 00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:28,544 To think I let that pompous, pencil-up-his-twat 209 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:31,088 little schoolmarm fuck me. 210 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:38,721 But he has an enormous cock, so… 211 00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:40,640 ♪ Dumb, dumb, dummy, I'm no bunny ♪ 212 00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:43,434 ♪ I'm no slobby boy I never beg for no money ♪ 213 00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:45,269 ♪ Fun, fun, funny, you'll run from me ♪ 214 00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:48,314 ♪ No irony, no, I pardon no one, nobody ♪ 215 00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:51,025 ♪ Chop, chop, chop it, right hand Chop it like a pickpocket ♪ 216 00:10:51,108 --> 00:10:53,110 ♪ You had the mic, now you can't drop it ♪ 217 00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:54,987 ♪ Dumb, dumb, dummy, once nobody ♪ 218 00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:57,323 ♪ I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming Sit down… ♪ 219 00:10:57,406 --> 00:10:58,908 She must be busy. 220 00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:01,202 -[Vladimir] Oh, hi! -Hello there! 221 00:11:01,285 --> 00:11:03,913 Sorry, I'm running to get Phee. They charge extra if you're late. 222 00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:06,791 Oh, yeah, I remember that whole racket. 223 00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:08,834 Are you… you coming to the drinks thing on Friday? 224 00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:10,127 Probably not. 225 00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:12,672 Oh, boo! Please come! Come! 226 00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:13,798 N-yeah… 227 00:11:14,298 --> 00:11:16,133 ♪ I ain't finished, I got loads ♪ 228 00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:18,552 ♪ I think I'm up for the challenge ♪ 229 00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:21,055 ♪ To show I got me some mileage ♪ 230 00:11:21,138 --> 00:11:23,391 ♪ I bought a car and a cottage ♪ 231 00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:25,643 ♪ I got Suzanne in my baggage ♪ 232 00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:27,853 ♪ Got a list in my bucket… ♪ 233 00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:30,731 I remember when men used to put their hands behind their head 234 00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:33,359 in the playground with me when Sid was little. 235 00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:36,737 They're just like peacocks. 236 00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:40,616 When they're attracted to a woman, they actually make themselves bigger. 237 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,201 [phone ringing] 238 00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:43,369 Hi, David. 239 00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:45,871 [David] I got you a meeting with Lynn. 240 00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:46,789 No. 241 00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:48,708 [David] You know it's the only way. 242 00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:50,459 I don't know that. 243 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:53,045 President's wife, so backdoor. 244 00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:55,297 [David] Well, it's the most effective way. 245 00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,717 -When are we going? -[David] She only wants to meet with you. 246 00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,677 But I can't talk. I'm at an event. 247 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,512 -[line clicks off] -[sighs] 248 00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:06,058 [somber music playing] 249 00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:12,273 [music becomes mysterious] 250 00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:29,832 [sighs] 251 00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:47,183 [heavy breathing] 252 00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:48,726 [throaty snore] 253 00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:51,228 -[John coughs] -[protagonist sighs] 254 00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:52,855 [John snoring] 255 00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:56,025 I used to be able to orgasm in a second. 256 00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:57,735 [sighs] 257 00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:03,866 [curious music playing] 258 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:31,852 [chuckles] 259 00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:46,200 -Excuse me. -[music fades out] 260 00:13:46,283 --> 00:13:48,285 [birds singing] 261 00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:06,470 -It's after eight. -Oh, thank you. 262 00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:08,764 Oh shit. 263 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,183 Did you, um… speak to David? 264 00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:14,395 I have a meeting with Lynn today. 265 00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:18,732 Mm. Thank you. 266 00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:23,028 Any good? 267 00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:25,781 Unfortunately, yes. 268 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:27,741 One-hit wonder? 269 00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:29,285 I don't think so. 270 00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:32,413 But I didn't think I was back then either. 271 00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:34,999 Good-looking. 272 00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:38,377 -Almost as hot as I was. -[chuckles] 273 00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:43,591 Are you smoking? 274 00:14:44,091 --> 00:14:45,092 No. 275 00:14:45,175 --> 00:14:47,177 [whimsical music playing] 276 00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:54,268 [protagonist] This is the college president's house. 277 00:14:54,351 --> 00:14:57,438 It's like the White House. The college gives it to him. 278 00:14:57,938 --> 00:14:59,648 Of course, the president is always someone 279 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:02,443 who would never need free housing in the first place, but… 280 00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:04,695 I don't see why I should. 281 00:15:05,237 --> 00:15:10,326 I find the whole thing very disturbing, insulting to women our age, 282 00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:13,120 humiliating for you, don't you think? 283 00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:15,581 Uh, yes. Well, Lynn, I-- 284 00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:20,252 Your face looks just fabulous. What are you doing? 285 00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:23,839 A hearing like this would be such bad timing for the college. 286 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,425 Is it ever bad timing for truth? 287 00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:28,677 These were consensual affairs. 288 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,638 I fucked a professor once. 289 00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:33,390 He didn't call me after that night, and I was devastated. 290 00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:35,351 Oh, I am sorry. 291 00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:37,561 -Statistics. -You were a statistic? 292 00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,521 -He taught Statistics. -Oh. 293 00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:42,566 I'm not unhappy to have had the experience, though, 294 00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:45,486 because he was uncircumcised. 295 00:15:45,986 --> 00:15:48,072 It was a different time, wasn't it? 296 00:15:48,572 --> 00:15:50,783 You remember what it was like for us? 297 00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:52,993 It was a casting call. 298 00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:56,121 It's good it's not like that anymore. 299 00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:57,539 Of course. 300 00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,124 Lynn, remember, 301 00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:03,003 the last thing with a student happened more than ten years ago. 302 00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:05,464 John knows times have changed. 303 00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:11,720 -He would never do anything like that now. -You are just so contoured. 304 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:16,100 Oh. Well, I bought a device on sale. 305 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,310 -I'll send you a link. -Mm. 306 00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:24,066 Are you sure you can control him? 307 00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:29,905 Absolutely. 308 00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,702 [tense music playing] 309 00:16:36,912 --> 00:16:38,163 [phone pings] 310 00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:50,217 [protagonist] Might as well get it over with. 311 00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:55,597 [customer] Thank you. 312 00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:06,025 Hey! 313 00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:08,402 Wait! 314 00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:11,989 Hey, sorry, I just wanted… 315 00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:14,491 When you came in the other day, I didn't get a chance… 316 00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:17,870 Can you… Are you pulling away from me? 317 00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:18,871 Bitch! 318 00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:29,548 [groans] 319 00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:32,009 [sighs] 320 00:17:32,676 --> 00:17:33,761 [phone pings] 321 00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:35,262 [exhales sharply] 322 00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:42,811 [phone pings] 323 00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:50,944 -Hey, you. Guess what. -What? 324 00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:52,112 We did it. 325 00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:53,947 Fucking Lynn. 326 00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:56,867 Delayed until summer. Just like that. 327 00:17:56,950 --> 00:17:58,744 I mean, can you believe it? 328 00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:00,954 -You're fucking with me. -I'm not. 329 00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:02,790 That's incredible. 330 00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:05,584 I mean, oh my God, I can't believe it's over just like that. 331 00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:07,044 That's outstanding. 332 00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:09,463 Oh, that is outstanding. 333 00:18:09,546 --> 00:18:11,548 -[sighs contentedly] Look at you. -Mm. 334 00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:13,217 I'm very proud of you. 335 00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:17,930 Well, I am desperately ashamed of myself, but the end justifies the means. Maybe. 336 00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:19,765 Okay, okay, we're gonna celebrate. 337 00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:21,975 Just pop a little champers. 338 00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:23,727 -What are you doing? -I'm gonna… 339 00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:25,354 Well, I had some plans, but, uh… 340 00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:27,356 -He means he had a date. -I will cancel them. 341 00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:31,151 No, don't cancel. Don't cancel. We can celebrate tomorrow. 342 00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:32,361 You sure? 343 00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:35,989 I'm fully sure. I also have some… plans. 344 00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:37,574 [John] Huh. 345 00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:40,410 Say thanks to your old boyfriend. 346 00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:44,123 I'd take a look at your eyebrows if I were you. 347 00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:46,708 -[upbeat funk-pop music playing] -Appreciate that. 348 00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:50,129 ♪ You've been lonely for so long ♪ 349 00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:54,133 ♪ Flying solo, and that's wrong ♪ 350 00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:58,178 ♪ You're self sufficient Don't need a man ♪ 351 00:18:58,262 --> 00:18:59,847 ♪ Too many dickheads… ♪ 352 00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:02,432 -Hi, honey. -Oh, hello. You look lovely. 353 00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:03,684 Is this cashmere? 354 00:19:03,767 --> 00:19:05,352 It's polyblend. 355 00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:09,982 -Oh, may I have a white wine, please? -[bartender] Coming right up. 356 00:19:15,362 --> 00:19:17,364 [indistinct chatter] 357 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,953 -Your white wine. -Thank you very much. 358 00:19:23,036 --> 00:19:25,747 ♪ Don't be afraid Of catching feelings for me… ♪ 359 00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:26,957 [Vladimir] Hi. 360 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:28,876 -Hi. -Hi. 361 00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:31,420 [protagonist] Oh, sorry, sorry. I touched you. 362 00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:35,048 I just wanted to be sure you were here in the… in the… in the flesh. 363 00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:38,010 -As opposed to what? -Oh, in my dreams. 364 00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:39,469 [both chuckle] 365 00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:41,096 Uh, no, no. Um… 366 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:44,600 I… I just have been reading your book for the last couple of days, 367 00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:47,603 so you've been very present in my mind. 368 00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:49,479 Oh, it's wonderful. 369 00:19:50,063 --> 00:19:52,024 But I… I hope you know that. 370 00:19:52,107 --> 00:19:56,695 Well, I… I never mind being told by someone whose opinion I value, so… 371 00:19:56,778 --> 00:20:01,283 Maybe we can have lunch sometime and discuss it, if you enjoy lunch. 372 00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:04,828 Love lunch. Lunch is one of my top three favorite meals. 373 00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,246 -[laughs] -Uh… 374 00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:08,373 But I c… I can't have lunch with you. 375 00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:09,333 Oh. 376 00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:12,628 No. I… Sorry, I mean, I can't have lunch until I've read your book. 377 00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:13,545 Oh. 378 00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:16,632 It should be a, you know, reciprocal exchange. 379 00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:21,136 Uh, of course. There is a value in, um… in reciprocity. 380 00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:25,098 Where… where's Cynthia? 381 00:20:25,849 --> 00:20:28,310 She took Phee for dinner. Um… 382 00:20:28,393 --> 00:20:31,730 Bars are triggering for her, so she'll pick me up. 383 00:20:31,813 --> 00:20:34,233 -You only have the one car. -Who needs more than one car? 384 00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:37,236 Oh, well, that's what I thought when we first moved here. 385 00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:39,363 -And then what happened? -Um… 386 00:20:39,446 --> 00:20:40,822 -[phone ringing] -Uh… 387 00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:42,199 Just one sec. 388 00:20:44,534 --> 00:20:47,287 -Should we… should we sit down? -Sure, yeah. 389 00:20:48,121 --> 00:20:49,081 -This way. -Yeah. 390 00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:52,751 -I'm gonna say goodbye. -People are into it for the hot Irish sex. 391 00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:57,589 Bye, kids. I'm heading home to see the spawn before they go to sleep. 392 00:20:58,173 --> 00:20:59,299 How is Sid? 393 00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:04,263 Mm, wonderful. She's arguing a case in front of the Supreme Court. 394 00:21:04,346 --> 00:21:05,764 -Wow! -[protagonist] Mm. 395 00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:07,516 I thought it was a circuit court. 396 00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,977 No, it's the Supreme one. 397 00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:13,647 -Well, a circuit court's still impressive. -[protagonist] Mm. 398 00:21:13,730 --> 00:21:15,148 -[Cynthia] Hey! -Oh. Hey! 399 00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:17,985 -[Vladimir] Oh, hi. Hello. -[protagonist] Uh… 400 00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:19,027 Hi. 401 00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:23,031 I just met your student. She is exceptional. 402 00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:25,033 Oh, you'll adore each other. 403 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,536 And… and who is this "wittle" nugget? 404 00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:29,162 [chuckles] 405 00:21:29,246 --> 00:21:31,957 I have been texting you for a half hour. 406 00:21:36,044 --> 00:21:37,963 -Sorry. -Okay. Drunkle. 407 00:21:38,046 --> 00:21:39,381 I'm not drunk. 408 00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:41,466 You're more drunk than I am. Can we go? 409 00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:44,761 Uh, yes. I'm, uh… You know, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom. 410 00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:45,971 [Cynthia] Okay. 411 00:21:48,348 --> 00:21:49,808 How's the book coming? 412 00:21:49,891 --> 00:21:51,560 It's… it's a memoir, right? 413 00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:54,104 Oh, uh… Man, yeah. 414 00:21:54,604 --> 00:21:55,605 I don't know. 415 00:21:56,106 --> 00:21:59,192 Right now, it's kinda… heavy. 416 00:22:00,444 --> 00:22:05,115 I'm writing about when she was 2, and it was just a… hard time. 417 00:22:05,198 --> 00:22:07,534 Right. Vlad was telling me. 418 00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:09,661 He was? 419 00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:12,789 Don't worry, 3 is much better. 420 00:22:12,873 --> 00:22:14,541 Okay. Ready? 421 00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:16,668 I'm gonna wait in the car. 422 00:22:18,295 --> 00:22:20,130 Okay. O… kay. 423 00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:24,384 Uh… 424 00:22:26,553 --> 00:22:30,515 Well… I look forward to reading you. 425 00:22:30,599 --> 00:22:32,309 [suspenseful music playing] 426 00:22:32,392 --> 00:22:33,518 Thank you. 427 00:22:35,979 --> 00:22:36,855 What? 428 00:22:37,481 --> 00:22:38,648 [click tongue] 429 00:22:38,732 --> 00:22:40,150 I don't wanna go. 430 00:22:41,276 --> 00:22:42,861 [dreamy music playing] 431 00:22:44,988 --> 00:22:46,406 [breathy sigh] 432 00:22:57,542 --> 00:22:59,169 [music fades] 433 00:22:59,252 --> 00:23:00,253 I'll see you soon. 434 00:23:00,337 --> 00:23:01,254 Yeah. 435 00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:03,673 [uneasy music playing] 436 00:23:11,973 --> 00:23:15,560 [protagonist] One benefit of the arrangement between John and myself is 437 00:23:15,644 --> 00:23:18,855 when he has a date, he's gone for the night. 438 00:23:18,939 --> 00:23:21,733 If he comes back, can you get me another Cosmo? I just gotta pee. 439 00:23:21,817 --> 00:23:22,984 Okay, hurry up. 440 00:23:23,693 --> 00:23:28,990 [protagonist] And I get a glorious, undisturbed evening to myself. 441 00:23:34,704 --> 00:23:35,705 [Lynn] John? 442 00:23:38,375 --> 00:23:40,210 Lynn. Steve. 443 00:23:40,293 --> 00:23:43,046 -John, good to see you. -Good to see you. 444 00:23:58,854 --> 00:24:00,063 [Lynn] Good news. 445 00:24:00,147 --> 00:24:03,275 Very good news, and I seriously can't thank you enough. 446 00:24:03,358 --> 00:24:04,484 Hi. 447 00:24:05,485 --> 00:24:06,361 Hi. 448 00:24:07,154 --> 00:24:08,155 Uh… 449 00:24:11,032 --> 00:24:12,659 I'm gonna go join my husband. 450 00:24:15,162 --> 00:24:16,121 Fuck. 451 00:24:16,788 --> 00:24:18,248 Is everything okay? 452 00:24:20,208 --> 00:24:21,501 [deep breathing] 453 00:24:28,925 --> 00:24:30,510 [uneasy music intensifies] 454 00:24:32,262 --> 00:24:33,305 [moans softly] 455 00:24:35,974 --> 00:24:37,058 [moaning deeply] 456 00:24:43,899 --> 00:24:45,192 Oh my God! 457 00:24:45,275 --> 00:24:47,486 -[music stops] -[moans energetically] 458 00:24:48,153 --> 00:24:49,863 [breathing deeply] 459 00:24:59,456 --> 00:25:01,458 [peaceful music playing] 460 00:25:23,271 --> 00:25:25,273 [phone vibrating] 461 00:25:31,863 --> 00:25:34,282 -[gate rattles] -[gasps] 462 00:25:35,659 --> 00:25:38,912 -[tense music playing] -[gate continues rattling] 463 00:25:59,849 --> 00:26:00,934 [yelps] 464 00:26:01,017 --> 00:26:02,936 [drum beating] 465 00:26:03,687 --> 00:26:06,314 -[glam-punk music playing] -♪ You've got them all by the balls ♪ 466 00:26:06,398 --> 00:26:07,899 ♪ Causing waterfalls ♪ 467 00:26:07,983 --> 00:26:11,194 ♪ Stonewalls, bar brawls Climbing stalls at concert halls ♪ 468 00:26:11,278 --> 00:26:14,573 ♪ To you they crawl, body sprawled Smoking Pall Malls ♪ 469 00:26:14,656 --> 00:26:18,577 ♪ Close calls, stand tall Doll, you make them feel so small ♪ 470 00:26:18,660 --> 00:26:19,911 ♪ And they love it ♪ 471 00:26:20,996 --> 00:26:21,913 ♪ Ooh ♪ 472 00:26:21,997 --> 00:26:24,916 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 473 00:26:26,001 --> 00:26:26,918 ♪ Ooh ♪ 474 00:26:28,003 --> 00:26:31,923 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 475 00:26:32,007 --> 00:26:33,425 ♪ The boys wanna be her ♪ 476 00:26:33,508 --> 00:26:34,926 ♪ The girls wanna be her ♪ 477 00:26:35,010 --> 00:26:37,012 -♪ The boys wanna be her ♪ -♪ The boys ♪ 478 00:26:37,095 --> 00:26:38,930 -♪ The girls wanna be her ♪ -♪ The girls ♪ 479 00:26:39,014 --> 00:26:40,348 ♪ The boys wanna be her ♪ 480 00:26:40,432 --> 00:26:41,933 ♪ The girls wanna be her ♪ 481 00:26:42,017 --> 00:26:43,935 ♪ The boys wanna be her ♪ 482 00:26:44,019 --> 00:26:45,937 ♪ I wanna be her ♪ 483 00:26:46,521 --> 00:26:48,106 ♪ Yes, I do ♪ 484 00:26:55,530 --> 00:26:56,531 ♪ Ooh ♪ 485 00:26:56,615 --> 00:26:58,950 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 486 00:27:01,286 --> 00:27:02,954 [dog barks, whines]