Scratch. Wampum.
Dough. Sugar. Clams.
Loot. Bills. Bones. Bread. Bucks.
Money.
That which separates the haves from the have-nots.
But what is money?
It's everything if you don't have it, right?
Half of all American adults have more credit card debt than savings.
25% have no savings at all.
And only 15% of the population is on track to fund even one year of retirement.
Suggesting what?
The middle class is evaporating?
Or the American Dream is dead?
You wouldn't be sitting there listening to me if the latter were true.
You see, I think most people just have a fundamentally flawed view of money.
Is it simply an agreed-upon unit of exchange for goods and services?
$3.70 for a gallon of milk?
Thirty bucks to cut your grass?
Or is it an intangible?
Security or happiness. Peace of mind.
Let me propose a third option.
Money as a measuring device.
You see, the hard reality is how much money we accumulate in life
is not a function of who's president
or the economy or bubbles bursting or bad breaks or bosses.
It's about the American work ethic.
The one that made us the greatest country on Earth.
It's about bucking the media's opinion as to what constitutes a good parent.
Deciding to miss the ball game, the play, the concert,
because you've resolved to work and invest in your family's future.
And taking responsibility for the consequences of those actions.
Patience. Frugality. Sacrifice.
When you boil it down, what do those three things have in common?
--Those are choices.
Money is not peace of mind.
Money's not happiness.
Money is, at its essence...
that measure of a man's
choices.
Okay.
Well, we're really just getting started looking at, uh, interviewing,
I guess you'd say, financial advisors.
Mmm-hmm. Sure. You're doing your due diligence.
- Mr. Byrde, we don't know-- - Call me Marty.
Marty, we don't know that much about stocks and investing.
Well, I kinda do.
I do. I just don't have time to do the research.
--We wanna be comfortable
with who we trust our money to.
Um-hum.
Um, well, tell me, um... what are your... What are your financial plans?
Do you have a... a five-year goal?
Yeah, we would like to build out our basement, ideally.
And we would like a pool.
- We're not getting a pool. - We're getting a pool.
- He does this all the time. - Pools are tricky.
Very difficult to, uh, recoup your money when it comes time to sell.
As an investment... uh, they're poor.
Marty, gotta be in the city at 4:00.
-Yep. -Leave in ten?
Yeah. Hey, come on in, meet the Hunkins.
-Oh. Hi! -This is Liddell of Liddell & Byrde.
This is Bruce Liddell.
The Hunkins are just interviewing financial advisors, so...
-Oh, so you didn't tell them? -What about?
Okay. So, we handle 73% of Northwestern's entire surgical staff.
- Wow. - Yeah, that's our appointment.
So, due to that level of business, we're about to stop taking on new clients.
There is an Edward Jones office on Wacker I hear does a halfway decent job.
Or...
Marty, you tell me if it's not too late...
then $5,000 would still open an account here today.
And we'd be happy to take check or credit card.
--Okay.
Um... check?
Great. Great.
Nice to meet you two. Marty, I'll see you in the car.
Yep.
Central location, magnificent architecture.
I know for a fact I'm the first person showing this.
- So you guys are in for a treat.
Views of the Chicago River. Room for expansion.
-Oh, my goodness, this is perfect, baby. -The lease options are--
-Babe, not while I'm working. -I love when you give me boundaries.
Oh, thank God. Marty, what do you think?
Don't you love it?
It's nice. Very nice.
-It's nice? -Yeah.
Fucking nice? I'm in that corner, you're in that corner.
Twenty people working for us. Boom, boom, boom.
Two receptionists.
What kind of windows are these?
- The kind you see through. - I don't know.
I mean, this is southern facing, right?
I mean, depending on their performance rating,
the cooling bill will be 15, 20% higher in the summer.
Something to consider.
You wanna go call some clients or something?
I think Marty and I need to huddle up.
-He's being a little bitch. Yeah? Okay. -Yeah.
- Sure. - All right.
--Saw your computer screen.
Wendy catches you rubbing one out to that amateur backdoor action,
she's gonna fucking crap a toaster, dude.
What are you thinking?
You and Wendy been together how long? Twenty years?
-Twenty-two. -Twenty-two years.
Holy Christ, those threads are stripped.
-It's a long time. -It's a long time. Liz... Liz...
Nothing's off-menu.
This girl's got a wink like a fox trap.
This is your future wife you're talking about.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy. -That is enough.
Easy, settle.
Marty Byrde, you're my best friend. I love you, I do.
But you're living a tragically subdued life.
Mmm-hmm.
And how is it... How is it we make the same bank,
and yet I can see my place in Trump Tower from here
and you're driving a ten-year-old Camry with cloth fucking seats?
Nothing wrong with that Camry.
And I do just fine, sex-wise.
-Oh, oh, oh, really? Really? -Yeah.
Says the man watching DIY porn in his office, with clients present.
Wow.
Now, be honest. When was the last time you were really truly happy?
Oh, come on.
-Come on. I'm planning up. -Okay, okay.
You got me. You got me.
Financial advisor's not my dream job,
but I am taking a fucking bite out of the apple.
-Are you? -Yeah.
Hey, check this out. Check this out.
Liz and I went here...
...last weekend. Amazing.
Amazing. Look at this.
-Lake of the Ozarks? -Yeah. Lake of the Ozarks.
Southern Missouri. The Redneck Riviera, baby.
I thought I was gonna hate the place. Got there...
...almost pissed myself.
-Yeah? -Seriously. This bad boy...
This bad boy has more shoreline, literally,
than the entire coast of California.
-Look at that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Come on.
Every summer, five million cash-rich tourists show up, descend on the place.
And it's got everything. Rich, poor, bass boats, yachts, condos.
-You keep this. You hold on to this. -This is mine?
Yeah, you put that on your vision board. Okay?
This place, I'm telling you, it's got everything.
My point is, you can buy land right down to the waterline.
We invest, okay?
Use it as an excuse to get out of the city.
Your mood improves, probably your marriage.
Decision, boys?
- I think we'll take it. - Nice.
- No. What? No, we're not...
We're not... We're gonna consider it.
-We're not taking it yet. -Mm.
Sometimes, we don't think we're gonna like something,
but then you try it,
and then suddenly you realize that you're having fun.
Think about your trampoline.
I mean, your father and I fought about getting that for years.
And then, all of a sudden, what happened? Next thing you knew,
the two of us were doing backflips out there with you.
Mom, I don't want to go to the dance and I'm not gonna have fun.
Look, if he's just gonna stand around, why make him go?
It's a school dance. Everybody stands around.
-You just don't want me there. -I'm trying to help you, retard.
-Hey. -You're the retard.
-Hey. Stop it, both of you. -We don't use that word. You know that.
You know, maybe you should go.
Then you can wear your Minecraft T-shirt and take your spear.
Oh, screw you.
- Stop it, both of you. - Put that back, please.
Your brother is handsome no matter what he wears.
- Give me that. - Gotta put yourself out there.
Give me the clicker, please. I was watching that.
-No, you're not. -Yes, I was.
Give it to me and eat your dinner and leave your brother alone.
Why do you always take his side? Not like you ever say anything to him.
Not taking his side. You're picking on him.
Okay, okay. Just stop.
-Can we reset this conversation? -Yeah, let's do it.
How was your day?
How was yours?
My day was very exciting.
I went to Costco. And then I went and got groceries.
And then I... I dropped off the recyclables.
And then I took Jonah to the dentist. And then--
Do not throw that out. Your father might want it later.
-You want it? -No, thank you. No.
- Okay. - That's very exciting.
Didn't you get, um, groceries on Monday?
Um-hum.
- I need ten dollars. - What for?
-There's a fundraiser for Hannah Lawson. -Is she all right?
- She has psoriasis. - Oh. Jesus Christ.
It's a disease, Dad. Like cancer, okay?
No. Is it?
It's itchy skin, honey.
There's no cure.
Right, let's save our money.
I mean, if they're close to a cure for flaky skin
and your contribution's gonna put a crack team of dermatologists
over the top, then I'm gonna pony up.
But until then, I'd like to save my ten bucks. Okay?
I am not calling you one, but why are you acting so dickish?
I mean, it is only $10.
One day, you're gonna work for a living
and you're not gonna like people with hands in your pockets.
Charlotte, get the ten dollars out of my purse.
-No, it's fine. Let her face fall off. -It's...
-It's ten dollars. For God's sake. -What?
She asked me for $20 last week and $50 the weekend before that.
She's 15 years old. She needs to know the value of money.
-Do you not agree? -I agree.
Your Consumer Reports came today.
That's ironic.
- Thank you for dinner. - I worked hard at it.
...some of the dangers, and we wanted to look further.
And while studies have shown that potentially deadly side effects
are extremely rare,
fewer than 11 cases per 10,000 women who use it for a year,
families affected point out
that the incidence of life-threatening blood clots is still double...
Do you want the History Channel?
Mm-mm. Thank you. I'm watching something else.
I'm tired.
You seem awfully quiet.
Just got something on my mind.
-Do you care if I go to bed? -Mm-mm.
-Good night. -Good night.
- Who loves his little girl? - You do, Daddy.
Good night.
Yeah, I got it.
You haven't done this before, have you?
Why?
Handsome.
Clean.
Fit.
Let me guess. Your wife won't do what you want her to do.
If you were my man, working all day so I could stay at home...
which, uh...
...let's face it...
it was a bitch when they were little, but...
but now they're both teens and in school all day.
Private school, too.
Even though you pay a shit-pot full of state taxes
and live in a top-rated public school district...
who's never missed a mortgage payment?
Marty Byrde.
Nice home on a quarter-acre squared-off lot in the suburbs?
Marty fucking Byrde.
Putting presents underneath the tree since 2002.
Not only would I not cheat on you...
- ...but I... I'd let you do...
...anything... you... wanted.
Do me a favor.
Don't come too fast.
Hey.
You can't be beatin' off in your car, baby. It's a workplace.
Yeah. Thank you.
-Hello. -Marty, it's Bruce.
I'm at Hanson's.
Trucking? Why?
I'm with Senior and Junior. I need you here, Marty. Now.
Now? No, Bruce. It's the middle of the night.
Tell me what the problem is, and I can try--
Del. Del's here.
Okay.
Hey, Mr. Hanson. Hey, Bruce.
Hey, Marty. Del just has a few questions. He's--
- Yeah? What's going on?
Hey, Del. Didn't know you were coming in town.
-You look good, Marty. -Yeah, thanks.
Where's my $5 million?
Your what?
Your $5 million?
-What's he talking about? -Have a seat.
Whatever's between you is your business. Got nothing to do with me and my dad.
Shut up, son.
- We run a clean shop. - Clean?
Other than the $100 million in drug money that you and your father collect
and transport to these two gentlemen to launder?
Clean to you.
Listen, Del. Wh... Whatever money you're missing,
I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation.
No. "Stolen." That's my word.
- Sit down.
Yeah.
Mr. Del Rio... I swear, we are not stealing from you.
We log all of our weights.
Check 'em. The numbers don't lie.
Should tell that to him.
From Chicago to Panama, Moscow to Tel Aviv,
Marty Byrde can make $100 million in dirty money
disappear like spit on a hot skillet.
Mr. Rio? I have to pee.
Of course.
When I was nine years old,
I started working for my parents' grocery store.
Wasn't a big store, but it fed six kids.
We had four cashiers.
Carlotta, our best...
maybe 30...
started there when she was 15.
She was loyal.
The kind of person you call "Aunt" when you're nine years old,
because she was always there.
Always with a smile.
And then one day, my father's closing up...
and he sees Aunt Carlotta slip five dollars' worth of pesos...
out of the till, into her pocket.
He could not believe it.
"Why? Why, Carlotta?
If you needed the money, why didn't you just come to me?"
Carlotta was a proud woman.
Not too proud to steal, but... proud.
She had four kids, no husband.
Her youngest one had asthma.
Said she needed the money to buy medicine.
So her boy could breathe.
Cried like a baby.
Swore she would never do it again.
Begged my father not to fire her.
Begged.
Mr. Hanson...
what should my father do with Aunt Carlotta?
Five dollars?
You tell her if it happens again, she's gone.
You put her on probation.
Probation.
I love America.
Bruce?
One mistake against 15 years.
Training cashiers is a bitch. I'd give her a second chance, Del.
Marty, what should my father do?
I know what this is. I know what you're doing.
This is an intimidation audit.
Yeah? I mean, you think you can just come in here unannounced
and rattle some cages, and someone's gonna admit to skimming?
I mean, you're fishing.
And, I mean, people steal. I get it.
But you got a distribution chain downstream
that's run by meth heads and drug dealers.
That's where you're gonna find your Aunt Carlottas. They're not in here.
We've been laundering money for Mr. Navarro for ten years?
That's right.
The only thing you've done here is you've involved a civilian. All right?
And, you know, to be honest, this, uh...
Dale Carnegie-Pablo Escobar ruse?
I think that that's beneath you.
-Come on, Del. -Ruse?
- Ruse. - That's a good word.
- Muchachos!
-What the fuck? -Put it down!
-Jesus Christ! -Whoa! Just slow down, Del!
- What the fuck? - Shit!
- Liz!
- Look, my dad had nothing to do with this. - God, Marty!
-It was Bruce's idea. -Hey, shut the...
Shut the fuck up!
- He came to me. It was Bruce. - It was Bruce.
- It was his idea. - Hey! Shut--
Del! What have you done, Del? Goddamn it, what have you done?
Please, listen. Listen to me.
- You don't wanna do this. Tell me...
Goddamn it!
He... he made a terrible mistake. We will work for free!
Please, please, my dad had nothing to do with this.
You know what I like about Chicago?
All the Mexicans.
Culture, the food, the language.
The women. I feel at home.
You know what I dislike about Chicago?
All the fucking Mexicans.
Might as well put up a sign that says,
"Welcome to Chicago, drug hub of the US."
FinCEN, DEA, ATF, FBI...
all circling like buzzards.
And where does all the drama come from?
Hmm?
Four sticky-fingered white men.
--Del, he's my son.
Please. He made a terrible mistake.
I can make this right.
I swear to God, I can make it right. I... I can make it right.
A father shouldn't have to see his child die.
- Dad! - No!
How'd you do it, Bruce?
Hey.
Hanson's men picked up the shipment of cash
along with whatever legitimate load. Air conditioners.
Subtract the weight of the cash from the weight of the trucks...
We rigged the gas gauges.
They'd read full when they were five gallons light.
How much, Bruce?
Eight million over three years.
Okay.
Ready?
Marty had nothing to do with this.
This is all me.
I need you to understand...
I... I would've never done any of this if I thought it would hurt you.
- And I am--
Let me just say goodbye to my kids.
They're asleep. And I'll just...
I'll just leave them a message, you know.
And they're confused...
...and worried about me.
Hang on one second. I'll just leave a message.
Tell 'em that I'm going away somewhere and that I'm gonna miss 'em.
--They know.
-Where are they? -Huh?
Are your kids in school? Summer break?
What?
Your kids, summer break?
I don't want to do Wendy in front of the kids.
Wendy doesn't know anything about what I do.
I never told her about anything that I do. Not once.
You don't need to do anything to Wendy.
- Are we ready? - No, no, no. No, hang on. Hang on.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. One second.
Just talk to me for one second. Just hang on a second.
Um...
More shoreline...
More shoreline than the whole coast of California.
Excuse me?
This place right here has more shoreline...
than the whole coast of California.
And apparently, every summer...
Hang on, listen to me.
Every summer, the population of this place explodes.
Tons of tourists. Midwesterners from all over the place.
Blue-collar, white-collar, loaded with cash.
Okay?
That's why I got this brochure.
- I gotta go. - Hang on, one second.
I got this brochure last week, scouting businesses,
and I brought it back to talk to Bruce about it.
And I was gonna talk to you,
because I wanna put the house on the market,
and I wanna move down there with the family,
and I wanna do what we do down there.
You're right about Chicago.
You got the FBI and the ATF and the CIA.
And they're all... They're circling around Chicago.
And they're tapping phones, and they're monitoring bank accounts,
and I just...
We need a new hub. I need a new hub.
Okay? This place...
It's away from every single law enforcement agency in the US
and it's cash rich. Okay?
Think about it. I mean, what do I do?
I launder ten percent of what the cartel does in the US? Right?
And even if you piecemeal five percent off to some other guy,
you know, which I doubt you do, but even if you do,
that's 85% that's getting shipped across the border into Mexico.
All right? And how much of that is getting seized?
A lot. It's a waste.
How much of it is getting siphoned off to, you know, bribe the border patrol guys
and-and the cops,
and the politicians and the judges and all that stuff?
It's all going out the window. Just give it to me.
I want more than just the ten percent. I want it all.
And I wanna take it down there. Okay?
What did these guys take from you? Was it eight? Is that what they said?
I'll get you that. I'll put that together. I'll make you whole.
You call it earnest money, okay? I give that to you...
but then I take me and my family and we go down to the Ozarks,
just like I planned.
And I just start washing money. Tons of it.
Nothing but washed money. That's all that matters.
Come on. Come on.
Five years,
three years, and I'll launder twice what we're doing right now.
Five years...
$500 million. I can do that.
It's got more... more shoreline
-than the whole coast of California. -You said that already.
- Here we go. - Come on.
$500 million in five years?
- Hey.
$500 million in five years?
Yeah. No question.
You have 48 hours to get me my money.
-Okay. -Cash.
No financial instruments, no wire transfer, no cashier's checks.
-Cash. All of it. -Cash. I understand.
After I have my money...
you have another 48... to be on the road to these Ozarks.
I want you to be ready to set up shop within a week.
Yeah.
And, Marty... when I drive by your house...
there better be a "For Sale" sign on your lawn.
Come on.
No. There is no choice here.
Marty, stop. We have to call the police.
I want you to forget it, okay? I...
Or do you want to just role-play it?
Okay, I'm Detective Whoever The Fuck,
and you're the wife of the top money launderer
for the second largest drug cartel in Mexico. Go.
I mean, come on. Police mean jail time,
or witness protection program, at best, if we even get that far.
If we make it that f... The kids and I are in danger?
Well... What do you wanna hear?
You know, people who drive trucks full of cash
onto scales to weigh it because there's too much to count,
they don't exactly have a code of ethics they adhere to.
We're not going to the police.
-Send Liz to the police. -No.
No, Bruce didn't come home. He's missing.
-They'll find out he's dead-- -Liz is dead, Wendy.
She's dissolving in a barrel next to the one they stuffed Bruce into.
Now here's what I'm gonna do. Over the next two days...
I'm gonna try to pull together $8 million to pay back what Bruce stole.
-What we're not gonna do is-- -Do we even have that much?
Well, it's gonna be tight.
I mean, after early withdrawal penalties, I don't know, but I'm gonna try.
What we're not gonna do, though, is panic, okay?
We're gonna prioritize and we're gonna compartmentalize.
And there's gonna be a little bit of time management, okay?
All right? Starting first thing tomorrow, after we tell the kids we're moving,
we're gonna call your friend Linda, the Realtor,
and we're gonna list the house.
Then you're gonna call a moving company. Then you and the kids are gonna pack.
You can help 'em or let 'em do it themselves.
I don't really care, but come Friday, after school...
we're on the road, okay? That's it.
And with the movers, please, get three bids.
The money's gonna be tight.
- No fucking way am I going. - Charlotte, you're going.
-We're all going. -Not me. I'm gonna live with Caitlin.
The Ozarks. That's, like, woods and stuff?
-Yeah, I think so, honey. -Mom, what the fuck?
Husbands and fathers, and-and-and mothers and wives...
they take new jobs, they relocate with their families all the time.
You know, this country was built by Americans pursuing opportunity, okay?
The pioneers, for one,
-relocated once a day. -You're a financial advisor.
-A self-employed financial advisor. -That's right.
You decide where the opportunity is.
Yeah, and I've decided the opportunity is in Missouri.
-Okay, we understand... -It's simple.
...that this is... this is upsetting.
Believe me, I get how hard this is.
But we're a family, so we are... We're making this move as a family.
We would prefer if you would...
see it as an adventure.
Yeah, well, thanks for the eggs and the shit sandwich.
Charlotte...
I got her.
You okay?
Not some, all. Everything. Liquidated, cash.
$7,945,400.
Sir, again, we don't keep that kind of money on-site.
You... you can't just have it wired here,
and then come by the bank and withdraw it. Not in cash.
Whoa, whoa! Marty, stop.
If the markets are spooking you, let's slide it into mutual funds.
No, I'll be back in six months with twice the money.
I'm not explaining myself correctly.
Just because it says the money is in your account
doesn't mean it's really there, physically.
I know how the banking system works.
That's why I'm calling you in advance so you can get it.
Your entire portfolio. Yeah, forget it.
Ten percent penalty for early withdrawal, plus another 32% in taxes.
Mr. Byrde, there seems to be a disconnect vis-à-vis large wire transfers
and your expectations about withdrawing it in cash.
Sir, by the end of business today,
you're gonna have close to $8 million in four separate accounts at your bank,
and I suspect that that puts you in a woefully undercapitalized position
relative to your obligations to the FDIC.
Okay?
So, you know, unless you're the vice president of the one institution
that is exempt from the liquidity ratio laws
that govern every other bank in America,
I suggest you place a call to the Federal Reserve
at 230 South LaSalle,
and you order yourself up a shit-pot full of cash.
Hey, Brenda, um...
Yeah? Do you need help with something?
This firm has been dissolved, unfortunately.
I'm sorry?
The firm. It no longer exists, okay?
Uh, but, um...
you know, you were great. All the way through.
Marty's in business with some very bad people.
We need to leave town.
Your husband, the financial advisor? Mr. Consumer Reports?
-Holy shit. -We leave tomorrow.
What? Uh, wait a second. Wait.
Are... are we talking about run-for-your-life kind of leaving?
Or a witness protection situation?
Everything's on the table.
Holy shit.
Holy shit. Leaving... leaving for where?
The Lake of the Ozarks.
The Ozarks?
I mean, good Lord... what is that even like?
I think it's where camouflage is a primary color.
His name's Gary Silverberg.
He's a partner with McNeil-Roberts downtown. Know him?
Uh-uh.
On the board of half a dozen nonprofits.
Academy of the Arts, Goodman Theater, Joffrey.
He sees your wife at least twice a week. Sometimes more.
Either his place or somewhere closer to yours.
An HI Express, Fairfield Inn.
The DoubleTree in Alsip's where I tagged 'em.
This "Sugarwood" right there. What is that?
Ah, you jumped the gun asking to meet today.
Normally, I transfer everything from a working file to a folio binder.
Table of contents, intro, summary. Suitable for presentation, arbitration.
Yeah, tell me what it means.
Sugarwood's her pet name for him.
-As in, you know... -Ah, right. I got it.
-"Give me some of that sugar." Yeah. -I got it. Thank you.
Well, where is Marty now?
He's paying back the money that his partner stole.
How much, I don't know.
Well, if we're talking about what I think we are,
the government will try to attach as much of that money as possible,
freeze your assets to force his cooperation.
You need to get as much as you can as fast as you can.
Fuck.
Fuck! Fuck!
Hypothetically, scale of one to ten,
how difficult would it be for someone to disappear?
You or him?
- Careful.
No. Just me. You know, and the family. Family of four.
New IDs, social security numbers, credit cards. You could do it.
For a while, anyway. Then your money'd run out.
One of your kids will get online sloppy. Twitter, Instagram...
Your wife has one Lemon Drop too many with her new best friend, wants to share.
Yeah.
If you have a legal problem I'm not aware of, don't tell me if you do,
you could keep your identity, leave the country,
go somewhere with no extradition to the US.
--Depends on who's looking for you,
how much money they have.
Hang on. Hang on.
I just got a text from my bank. My wife emptied our checkings and savings.
You got a gun?
-No. What? -Good.
Silverberg lives in the Aqua Tower.
Apartment 8003, 80th floor.
What makes you think she's there?
It's Thursday.
Hi, this is Wendy.
-Leave me a message. -Fucking bitch!
Hey, Gary?
Hey, Gary, I'm back!
Twenty-two years!
Never cheated. Not once.
And I had the chance... more than a few times.
But I never ever took it.
Instead, I worked.
Came home, went to bed, got up, did it all over again.
Not good enough, huh?
And now you want to try to take our money?
You want a divorce? I will show you the meaning of ugly.
You will lose. I will lawyer up. I will dig in. I--
Whoa!
Whoa, man.
Come on.
Damn!
Wendy?
Why does Wendy have a cashier's check for $29,650, Marty?
You lied to me, Marty.
She knows about our business.
What kind of man isn't willing to lie to save his wife's life?
Was that before or after you found out she was fucking the lawyer?
After.
Ouch.
I bet you haven't even confronted her yet, huh?
Right now, you're calculating the smart move.
Divorce her...
things turn ugly...
...she holds what you've done over your head.
Live with the cheating,
and whatever man you think you are is eaten away, day by day.
Or I take care of our Wendy problem...
right here... right now.
Your call.
Marty, you there?
What should my father do?
Your father?
About Aunt Carlotta. You never answered my question.
What should my father do about a woman who steals from him?
A loyal woman. A mother.
With him 15 years.
What did my mother make him do?
Fire her.
Why?
It's not the first time she stole from you.
What was it?
It's the first time you caught her.
You're welcome.
-Hi. Good morning. -Mr. Byrde.
Hi. What's this?
-Good to see you, sir. -Yeah, good to see you.
-Can I get you a cup of coffee? -No, thank you.
Am I under duress? No. What are you doing?
No. There's been-- No, stop that.
There's been no kidnapping.
I'm not wearing any wires. I just... I have a, uh...
a business opportunity that requires cash.
-Sir. -Yeah?
There's no business opportunities that require that much cash.
-Not legal ones. -Well, I agree to disagree.
Where's my money?
As we told you, we can't cover that amount within 24 hours.
Okay.
There's two federal agents here.
Which means you wouldn't take the chance that there was a kidnapping
and not have my money.
So if you don't produce it immediately, I'm gonna walk into that lobby,
and I'm gonna tell these people that I can't get my money out.
And we'll see how long that takes to go viral,
and you get a good old-fashioned run on this bank.
And if I want to put all $7,945,400 into a hot tub...
get buck naked and play Scrooge McDuck,
that is 100% my business.
Now, where's my money?
The Great Depression.
That's when the Lake of the Ozarks was built. 1929.
But you know all that.
You're Marty Byrde.
And Marty Byrde has been planning this for a long time, right?
How long again?
Long time.
Yeah, I'm short. $6,950. But it is not...
-It's not a problem. -What did I tell you?
I've already sold that car,
but I also have a minivan that I haven't sold yet.
And this... It's a Honda Odyssey. It's... it's top-ranked minivan in the US.
Blue Book on it is $27,000 and I get the cash--
I'll buy the Odyssey from you for 27.
So I owe you 20,000. Take that from the cash.
And I'll lease it back to you for... say, 1,000 a month?
Top-ranked minivan in the US.
Okay? Good.
Now I want you to take my $7,973,000 with you to Missouri...
and clean it.
-Clean it? -Mmm-hmm.
It's... That's clean. It's already clean.
You want me to clean it? Again?
You'd lose 15%.
Another 25% in taxes. Minimum.
That's not the point, is it?
I have to see that you can do it.
I'm torn, Marty...
between intrigue and thinking this whole Ozark thing
is complete and utter straw-grasping bullshit.
But I'm willing to roll the dice.
Because you're special.
You have a gift.
But if I think that you're trying to fuck me...
I will have to kill you... and Wendy...
and Jonah...
and Charlotte.
And not in that order.
Yeah.
You know, Del, the other day you said...
"Where's my $5 million?" and Bruce and the Hanson kid took eight.
Mm.
You were right. I was fishing.
I didn't know they stole a damn thing.
And you killed Liz on a hunch.
On a tell.
I've been working with you and Bruce for how long?
You ever known him not to constantly run his mouth?
What's really going on, Mom?
You know, Charlotte, it has been, um...
a real hard few days, so...
if there is...
anything in here that you can just combine...
Okay. You're just gonna have to help Mommy over the next few days, okay?
-Okay. Okay. -Just keep a really good attitude.
And you have to trust us, all right?
I know we'll work this out later. I really do.
-Okay? -Okay.
Thank you.
- Went straight to voice mail. - Hang up.
-You want me to keep trying? -No.
Possible he ran.
Changed his mind. Took his chippie and left the country.
Agent Petty? I think we got 'em all.
Well, 18 bugs went in. I want 18 out. My name's on the req.
Yes, sir.
-You don't seem too upset. -It is what it is.
Liddell was our in.
You heard him. He would have been a fantastic government witness.
Mexicans, Mafia, Muslims.
We all want to believe that these people are more than they are.
And they're not. If they weren't...
...dealing drugs,
extorting businesses, flying planes into buildings,
they'd be cleaning toilets.
They're not criminal geniuses.
They're pathological liars on the path of least resistance.
Liddell was no different.
Entertaining, though.
Uh, I'm confused.
Del Rio, Navarro, the cartel.
Why... Why would we do all this if Bruce was just "entertaining"?
Where is Martin Byrde?
- Where you going? - Just gonna take a leak.
♪ Then in your life ♪
♪ There comes a darkness ♪
♪ There's a spacecraft ♪
♪ Blocking out the sky ♪
I'm so sorry.
- ♪ And there's nowhere ♪
♪ To hide ♪
I'm so sorry.
♪ You run to the back ♪
♪ And you cover your ears ♪
♪ But it's the loudest sound ♪
♪ You've ever heard ♪
♪ And are we trapped ♪
♪ Rag doll cloth people? ♪
♪ We are helpless ♪
♪ To resist ♪
♪ In our ♪
♪ Darkest hour ♪
All right, Dad.
♪ But it was just a laugh Just a laugh ♪
♪ Just a laugh Just a laugh ♪
♪ Even at this angle ♪
♪ And so we crumble ♪
♪ A ten-ton head made of wet sand ♪
♪ This dread still covers us ♪
♪ You gotta be kidding me ♪
♪ The grass grows over me ♪
♪ Your face in the glass In the glass ♪
♪ It was just a laugh Just a laugh ♪
♪ It's whatever you say it is ♪
♪ A split infinity ♪
♪ And in your life ♪
♪ There comes a darkness ♪
♪ And a spacecraft ♪
♪ Blocking out the sky ♪
♪ And there's nowhere to hide ♪
♪ You run to the back ♪
♪ And you cover your ears ♪
♪ It's the loudest sound ♪
♪ You've ever heard ♪
♪ In your ♪
♪ Darkest hour ♪
♪ If you had another me ♪
♪ So dark ♪
♪ If you had another me ♪
♪ Sweet time ♪