ARCHIE: Previously on Riverdale...
They're ruining our lives, and to them it's just a game.
They keep score in some secret playbook.
You want vengeance? I'm with you.
"-And I have a plan. -You like shaming people, Chuck?"
Apologize for ruining Polly.
-CHUCK: What the hell? -Do it, Jason!
BETTY: Apologize for what you did to me! -CHUCK: Look, I'm not Jason.
This is our insurance.
Here, stash it. Keep it safe.
Clifford: Hermione Lodge will crumble.
Penelope: Maybe you should've sent her to jail instead of Hiram.
I heard Mr. and Mrs. Blossom talking.
It sounded like Clifford Blossom was responsible
for sending Veronica's dad to jail.
VALERIE: Ever since we started dating you've ignored me,
-you've ditched me. -Let me make it up to you.
Sorry, Archie, but I won't be bought.
The lawyers are coming over this week
to take our statements for your dad's hearing.
Am I gonna have to lie?
Veronica: My father is a criminal.
JUGHEAD: Weekdays,
from 8:25 a.m. to 3:01 p.m., we adhere to a strict regimen.
Everything in our lives is controlled.
But then something like the murder of Jason Blossom happens,
and you realize there is no such thing as control.
There is only chaos.
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
Nevertheless, some of us strive to impose and maintain order
in what is, fundamentally, an orderless world.
A fact which would very soon be confirmed
in ways none of us could have foreseen.
I'm, uh... I'm headed out.
Sorry to be missing your birthday this weekend, Jug.
Oh, you will not be missing anything, Mr. Andrews,
I barely acknowledge my own birthday.
Arch, can you give me a hand downstairs?
The good news is that all these divorce papers
and legal mumbo jumbo will be done.
Should be behind us by the end of the week.
Are you only going to see Mom now
because you and Hermione Lodge...
No. No, son, I ended that.
Being together, working together, not a good idea.
In that case, then,
why finalize things in such a final way now?
Sometimes, son, you just gotta rip the Band-Aid off.
Or you can try and fix things.
(SIGHS) We're past that point, Archie.
I spoke to Mom last week, she didn't mention any of this, Dad.
Your mom moved out two years ago.
She didn't tell you because she wanted me to be the bearer of bad news.
What if I came with you?
This is between me and your mom.
I'll check in.
What's going on?
Veronica, this is Paul Sowerberry, your father's attorney.
He's here to prep us for our statements
and help at your dad's hearing.
Except, I told you, Mom, I'm not giving one.
-Not one you'd want. -Just...
You won't be asked any questions
about your father's business arrangements.
We just need you and your mother to speak to his character.
It'll humanize him.
Which could mean a lesser sentence.
If you don't make a statement,
well, that's problematic and damaging.
I've already told her all of this.
Well, Dad made his bed. And I'm late for school.
Betty: Veronica, there's something we need to talk to you about.
Bring it.
After the morning I've had, I'm ready for just about anything.
Okay, well, Archie was with the Blossoms
while their Board was in town. He, um...
Why don't you tell her? You were there.
Why is this suddenly feeling like a friendtervention?
I overheard Mr. Blossom say he's the one responsible
for your dad being arrested and put in jail.
Are you kidding?
Why the hell would Clifford Blossom
have anything to do with why he's in prison?
Hey, you may or may not know this,
but it's Jughead's birthday.
What? And he didn't say anything?
It's tomorrow, and he doesn't like making a big deal out of it.
Every year, he goes to a double feature at the Bijou.
It's like this tradition.
Last few years, I've been his movie-buddy.
But now that he has a girlfriend...
Well, of course, I'll take him.
But you should still come with us.
No. I don't wanna be a third wheel.
Come on. It'll be like old times.
The Three Musketeers.
Actually, Archie, there were four Musketeers.
(LAUGHS) I'll see you later, Betty.
Okay.
FP: Yeah, this is Jones.
- Mr. Jones, hi, this is Betty Cooper.
-Jughead's... -Girlfriend, yeah, I remember.
Great, well, I'm calling because it's Jughead's birthday tomorrow,
and I wanted to see if maybe you would come
see a movie with us, maybe grab dinner?
Does he know you're calling me?
No, I thought maybe I'd surprise him.
Oh, man.
There's one thing that Jughead likes less
than surprises, and that's his birthday.
Kid's never even had a party, never wanted one...
-What? Never? -Mmm-hmm.
Anyway, I think the best gift that I could give to Jughead
would be to stay away.
But I appreciate the call, Betty.
Okay.
VERONICA: Anyway, enough about my drama.
Betty, you were saying something about Jughead's birthday?
Yeah. Just that Mr. Jones told me
-Jughead's never had a birthday party. -Mmm-hmm.
Let's have one for him.
Like, a low-key surprise party.
-Uh, no, no. -That's a fantastic idea.
Jughead doesn't like his birthday.
Everybody says that, nobody means it.
Jughead is a lone wolf.
Okay. Ignoring the negativity.
Betty, you know me,
-any excuse to wear a cute party dress. -Yeah.
Okay, so I'm thinking a quaint gathering, inner-circle only.
Oh, my God, don't turn around.
Kevin: Holy Chuck, I think his lats got bigger.
Not that I care, because he's evil incarnate.
What's Chuck Clayton doing back?
He got suspended, not expelled.
Even though he should have been drawn and quartered for what he did.
Oh, my God.
Get away from her, Chuck.
Easy. Look, I only came over here to apologize.
You don't have to go Dark Betty on me.
I'm not going!
I'm not going Dark anything.
Ethel, is Chuck bothering you?
You can relax, Betty, it's fine.
Yeah, Betty, we're fine.
The real question is, are you?
What was he doing? Accosting her?
No, he was... Apologizing.
Oh, I'm so sure.
Chuck Clayton doesn't have a contrite bone in his muscle-bound body.
You know what, can we talk about something else?
Like... Like Jughead's surprise party.
VERONICA: Betty?
(CLEARS THROAT)
Look, there's a lot I can't do, a lot I can't control.
But I can damn well make sure
my boyfriend has the best birthday of his life.
Screw it. I'm with Betty.
My dad's away. We can do it at my house.
We could all use a good time.
Now you're talking my language.
It's gonna be epic.
(DOOR OPENS)
Mr. Jones,
I didn't mean to ambush you. (LAUGHS)
I know you don't do birthdays,
but Archie and I are having
a few of Jughead's friends over at Archie's house.
And I bet it would mean so much to Jughead if you came.
-Man, you don't quit, do you? -Rarely, if ever.
I really wanna do something special for him.
And you being there...
That would be special.
Great news, Betty.
I just had a terrific meeting with Principal Weatherbee,
who agrees that the Blue and Gold
can benefit greatly from my professional guidance
-as your new advisor. -That's great, Mom.
(EXHALES) So what are we working on?
A list of supplies for Jughead's birthday party.
You're really falling for this Jones boy, aren't you?
Mom, when you and Dad started dating,
did you tell him everything
about yourself?
I sure did, and I wish I hadn't.
I shared things with your father,
my secrets, fears, doubts.
And he ended up using them against me.
What secrets?
Let's just say that there are some things
about myself that I struggle with.
I trust Jughead, Mom.
Of course you do. And you should.
But just not with everything.
(EXHALES)
So... A John Landis double feature at the Bijou.
American Werewolf in London and Animal House.
That's awesome. Except... (CLEARS THROAT)
You're going with Betty instead.
(SIGHS) You told her about my birthday?
Dude, come on. That's a primal betrayal.
Why do you hate your birthday so much, Jug?
PTSD from when I was a kid.
I don't know. Things were always messed up at home.
Usually because of my dad.
And then there was this arbitrary day,
that we would just get together and pretend things were great.
We were normal.
And it just made me feel really lonely.
HERMIONE: What's all this?
Dad's files from the basement, Mom.
Archie overhead Mr. Blossom
say that he's the one responsible
for putting Dad in jail.
So I did some digging.
And found this spreadsheet of monthly payments
from Blossom Maple Farms to Lodge Industries
until about five months ago, when they stopped.
When your father was arrested.
There's more.
The payments, which are significant, by the way,
have been happening for 75 years.
That's a ton of money.
What if Clifford implicated Daddy
to get out of paying the monthly fee?
I wouldn't put it past the wig-wearing monster.
-We should tell Dad's lawyers. -Well, hold on.
If Clifford did orchestrate your father's arrest,
people might think that Hiram had something to do
with Jason Blossom's murder.
-(SIGHS) -Ronnie?
You got to let this go.
You don't think Dad could, in any way,
be responsible for Jason's murder, do you?
No, honey, look, don't make things worse
by asking questions that no one else is asking.
And please, God, do not bring the Blossoms into this.
And that includes Cheryl.
Cheryl: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
One, two, three, four... Stop.
You're late, Veronica.
We've already reviewed the new choreography for Homecoming.
That means you'll be in the back, where your presence
will do the least amount of damage.
With you front and center, no doubt.
But of course.
I do have the maddest skills on this squad.
And because you're a Blossom,
we have to accept whatever you say as gospel truth?
You're welcome to challenge me, Veronica, but you'll lose.
We live in a democratic society, Cheryl.
Let's let the Vixens decide who's cherry on top.
-Challenge accepted. -Great.
(SNAPS FINGERS)
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
(MUSIC STOPS)
All those for Cheryl?
All those for Veronica?
(CHEERING)
Never cross a Lodge.
Come on, girls.
You catatonic bimbos didn't even vote.
So you stuttering sapheads are too dim to exercise your own rights,
and you've got the combined vocabulary of a baked potato.
Consider this your last practice as River Vixens,
and your last week as my social handmaidens.
You're fired on all fronts.
That's all. Shoo, bitches.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
-Hey, Dad, what's up? -FRED: Just checking in.
I felt bad we didn't get the chance to talk more before I left.
Yeah, well, you kind of shut me down, Dad.
-(SIGHS) -You seen Mom yet?
No. We were gonna have dinner, but...
-But what? -We decided it would be better
to meet tomorrow morning, with the lawyers.
Right. 'Cause things are so bad,
you can't talk without a mediator.
Dad, I gotta go, bye.
(SIGHS)
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
Okay, so you're the worst.
But it just so happens that both our archnemesi,
Betty Cooper and Veronica Lodge,
will be at a little shindig at that chowderhead Archie's house.
Wanna team-up for a little destruction, Chuck?
VERONICA: Mr. Sowerberry, let me tell you what I think happened.
The Blossoms agreed to pay my family a fee in perpetuity.
Clifford Blossom tried to end this agreement
so he could stop paying my family after all these decades.
And when my father, being my father, refused,
it was Clifford who called the police and got him arrested.
That's what I'm thinking.
I can't confirm or deny...
And the reason this hasn't come out yet
is because it might make my Dad look like a murder suspect?
That is our concern, yes.
Have you changed your mind about making a statement?
If anything, I'm less inclined.
I told your father that you were...
conflicted about helping him.
"My darling daughter.
If you do not testify on my behalf,
I'm afraid your poor mother might be drawn into this awful mess.
It pains me to say, but she is not nearly as innocent as you believe.
Think carefully about your next move, Veronica.
The rest of your life, and your mother's,
will be decided by it."
JUGHEAD: Hey, I was talking to Kevin.
He told me that you and Chuck
had some scene in the cafeteria yesterday.
It wasn't a big deal.
What exactly happened between you guys that night?
Veronica asked me to keep the details under wraps, okay?
Yeah. All right. No worries.
I only really asked because you made it sound like you were upset.
No. If I was upset about anything,
it was that I had to hear about your birthday
from Archie and not you, Jug.
(SIGHS) Yeah, well...
I didn't think you were an American Werewolf kind of girl.
Ooh. That's where you're wrong, Jughead Jones.
I'm all about the beast within.
(CHUCKLES)
If it's a double feature, does that mean I have time to go to the bathroom?
I'd hold it, Ethel.
(SIGHS)
ALL: Surprise!
Do I look like Jughead to you?
Oh. Betty just texted me. They're almost here.
You've met Joaquin, right?
I haven't had the pleasure.
(WHISPERS) Also I thought it was inner-circle only tonight?
Joaquin's my boyfriend, that makes him inner-circle.
Uh-huh, well, I just came from the most insane meeting with my dad's lawyer.
Between his upcoming hearing and his potential involvement in Jason's murder,
not to mention my mom's, I'm in a foul mood.
Guys, they're really coming this time.
Everybody hide.
Veronica: Ugh, I'm so over this.
-ALL: Surprise! -(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHS) This is why we left the double feature.
Happy birthday, bro.
(WHISPERS) You really shouldn't have.
Ugh, you reek. Are you drunk?
No.
(SPEAKS SPANISH)
Thanks, Veronica. Thanks, everyone.
-Oh, it's Kevin! Kevin: -Happy birthday, bud.
This is my boyfriend, Joaquin.
Hey, nice to meet you.
Um, has anyone seen Betty?
(BETTY SINGING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY")
That was haunting, Betty.
Blow out the candles and make a wish.
(JUGHEAD SIGHS)
(WHISPERS) I wish it were just the two of us right now.
(BLOWS)
One blow!
Veronica?
-The stuff with your dad? -(SNIFFLES)
It's just the tip of the iceberg.
I don't want to talk about it.
Okay.
You want a drink?
Isn't it the New York sophisticate
who's supposed to corrupt the sweet small-town boy?
(CHUCKLES)
My dad's visiting my mom.
They're about to finalize the divorce.
God, Archie, if my mom had anything to do with that...
No. This was them.
My mom wanted to leave Riverdale,
my dad wanted to stay.
I had to choose, and I chose my dad.
Forget it. It's nothing compared to what you're going through.
He threatened me, Archie.
Said he would destroy my mom if I didn't make a statement on his behalf.
Said she was just as guilty as he was.
And maybe he's lying or maybe he isn't.
And maybe he killed Jason Blossom, and...
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
Oh, sorry.
Just coming to get ice cream, so...
Is everything okay?
Yeah, no, I'm just not in a party mood like I usually am.
-That makes two of us. -Whoa. Wait.
You're not actually upset that I threw you a party, are you?
It is nice, Betty. I appreciate it.
It's just I would be happier
if it was just the four of us in a booth at Pop's.
Yeah. But we always do that.
I wanted to do something special.
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."
Why is everything so doom and gloom with you, Jug?
Why can't it just be normal for once?
I'm not normal, I'm not wired to be normal.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
How many more people did you invite to this thing?
No one. Inner-circle only.
(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)
Did you really think you could have a party
without inviting moi?
Or me?
Archie, where do you want the kegs?
Screw it! One in the kitchen, one in the backyard.
(CHEERING)
(CLUB MUSIC PLAYING)
Why are they doing this?
They're agents of chaos, Kevin.
They don't need a reason.
But if I had to guess? Payback.
Dude, Valerie just got here. You think she wants me back?
Archie, as my blood-brother,
it was your sole responsibility
to ensure that something like this never happened on my birthday.
And now we're here.
In the middle of a Seth Rogen movie.
This was Betty's idea, okay? I just went along with it.
-It's so not me. -It doesn't matter, Jughead,
you're her boyfriend now.
-What does that mean? -It means
you're getting your birthday party whether you want one or not.
-(SCOFFS) -(KNOCKING)
Dad, hey.
Happy birthday, Jughead.
How are you, Mr. Jones?
Happy to be here, celebrating with my son.
Didn't realize you had so many friends.
I don't.
And fair warning. You're the only adult here.
So I gather.
-Where can I put this? -There's a table in the den.
Dad.
-Did Betty call you? -Yeah, she came by too.
She knows what she wants, that one.
I'll be back.
Do you ever go down to Sweetwater River?
-To what, fool around? -Yeah.
-Do you? -I've been once or twice.
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
You can cut the sexual tension in here with a knife.
What's up, Joaquin?
Nothing.
Kevin, you know FP, Jughead's dad?
Yeah, we've met.
You kicked me out of the Whyte Wyrm.
Good times. Joaquin...
You wanna show me where the can is?
-Yeah, it's right... -Yeah, um...
I'll show you.
What is that middle-aged Serpent
doing at a high school kegger?
Are you serious? You don't know?
Veronica, that's Jughead's dad.
-Really. -Yeah.
And the plot thickens.
Betty.
-You here to roofie me again? -No, Chuck,
I'm going to ask you to leave.
-Nicely. -Nicely?
Because, what, you're back to being the nice girl now?
Betty, what you and Veronica did
when you guys got me kicked off the football team,
you ruined any chance I had of playing for Notre Dame.
Hell, for any good school.
I'm sorry that after you sexually harassed those girls,
that there were actual consequences, Chuck.
That night, I saw the real you.
The dark you.
The Betty that I actually think about
every night when I'm laying in bed.
You're the last person I expected to see at my son's birthday party.
Just doing my job, keeping my ear to the ground.
And your tongue in the Sheriff's kid's mouth.
-Did you hear anything interesting? -Actually, yeah.
Hiram Lodge's daughter is here.
She said something about her father being connected to Jason's murder.
That is not good.
Hiram and I had some business.
What does your boyfriend say about that?
-His father, you mean? -Yeah.
-I'll find out. -Yeah. You better.
These kids are more on the ball than the Sheriff. Let's go.
JUGHEAD: You do know my dad has a drinking problem, right?
Of course I do.
I didn't think people would be drinking tonight.
I didn't plan on Chuck and Cheryl,
and the rest of the school crashing, okay?
This was supposed to be just your friends.
You and Archie are my friends, okay?
Everyone else,
including Kevin, including Veronica,
are people that, two months ago,
-I would've actively shunned. -Why?
In case you haven't noticed, I'm weird.
I'm a weirdo.
I don't fit in, and I don't want to fit in.
Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on?
-That's weird. -Why are you getting so upset?
-It's just a party, Jug. -It's not just a party.
It's the fact that you don't know or even care
that this is the last thing I would want.
You did this for you. To prove something.
-To prove what? -You're a great girlfriend.
I don't know. (SCOFFS)
Doesn't it ever occur to you just how different we are?
Like on a cellular DNA kind of level?
You're a straight-A student,
you're a cheerleader, for God's sakes.
You're the perfect girl next door.
I hate that word.
I'm the damaged loner outsider
from the wrong side of the tracks.
Betty, come on.
Who are we kidding?
We're on borrowed time.
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Betty, I'm not one of your projects, okay?
Like solving Jason's murder...
No. You're not a project, you're my boyfriend.
Until you're sick of slumming it with me,
or until Archie changes his mind
and says he wants to be with you?
(SIGHS)
Valerie, hey...
-I'm looking for Melody. -No, no, no, can we talk?
I just wanted to say what if... What if we made a mistake?
First of all, we didn't do anything.
I broke up with you because I thought you were a hot mess.
Clearly, I was right.
Wait, Valerie...
-What is your problem, Archie? -(CROWD CHUCKLES)
You shut me out, remember?
It's too late.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
FRED: Archie, everything all right?
-Jughead. Hey. -Hey, Ethel.
You didn't have a piece of cake. It's bad luck.
(SIGHS) This whole night is bad luck.
I'm ghosting. I'll see you at school.
Hey. Whoa.
Where you going, guest of honor?
Get out of my way, Chuck.
Oh, but you can't leave now.
We haven't even played our game yet.
Listen up, party people.
-Quiet. -Shh.
Everyone has their secrets.
And we've all done our fair share of sinning.
That's one thing my dear brother's death has revealed.
So let's play a little game to get those secrets out in the open.
JUGHEAD: What the hell is Secrets and Sins?
CHERYL: It's a variation on Truth or Dare.
In which we own our truths.
By telling it like it is.
I'll start the game with Veronica Lodge.
-Naturally. -Let's begin
with the day you and your mob wife of a mother
came to town for a so-called "fresh start."
Tell us, Veronica, what's so fresh
about defiling Archie Andrews in a closet?
-That was your doing. -Moving on
to dear Daddy Lodge...
Isn't it true that your father, from prison,
illegally purchased the drive-in land?
Which makes me wonder.
What else is he doing from behind bars?
VERONICA: Well, I can't speak for my father,
but I can think of someone with a very dirty secret.
Specifically, Cheryl killing her very own brother.
Everyone knows how much I loved my brother.
Exactly.
But did you love him maybe
in ways that a sister shouldn't love a brother?
And as you got older, Jason started to think it was strange, unnatural.
So he chose Polly over you.
So you shot him between the eyes
with one of your father's many hunting rifles.
This is riveting, I can't breathe.
DILTON: This game is sick.
-I wanna go next. -That's the spirit, Doiley.
What secrets do you have to reveal to us?
I saw Ms. Grundy's car
by Sweetwater River, the day Jason went missing.
I told Betty and Jughead,
and then, Ms. Grundy quit her job
and left Riverdale, like, two days later.
And let's not forget that Archie was also at Sweetwater that morning.
Cheryl: Oh, my God, color me shocked, Archie Andrews.
Is that why you became a mediocre musician overnight?
Because you and Ms. Four-Eyes were pulling a Mary Kay Letourneau?
VERONICA: Don't say anything, Archie.
Don't get in the gutter with them.
Wait, what? Andrews was banging a teacher?
Well, damn, I wish I would have known.
I would've added you and Ms. Grundy to the book of conquests.
Classy, Chuck, as always.
Wait a second, that also explains
why Archie can't seem to keep a girlfriend to save his life.
He's got serious Mommy issues.
Anything to say for yourself, Arch?
Were you victim or perpetrator?
Dilton Doiley plays with guns.
Big whoop, Betty.
So Doiley's a psychopath, everyone knows that.
CHUCK: Well, I guess it's my turn now.
Boy, do I have a twisted secret to reveal.
Starring Betty Cooper.
Leave her the hell alone, Chuck.
Shut up, Andrews.
Look, you may get a free peepshow every night,
but you do not know her.
Hell, Betty doesn't even know herself.
Everybody knows why I got suspended.
But what you don't know... (SIGHS)
She dressed up like a hooker, in a God-awful black wig,
drugged me, handcuffed me in the Jacuzzi,
and I almost drowned
until she got me to say what she wanted to hear.
And then she really lost it.
She actually thought she was Polly.
But, hey, you knew all about this, right, Jughead?
Enough! That's enough!
Get your hands off me, snake.
Get out!
Go on!
What are you looking at? The party's done.
It's over! Go home!
Whoa, where the hell are you going?
What, you want to give me some advice on my right hook?
I want you to go back inside and talk to your girl.
I don't think it's gonna work out.
Irreconcilable differences.
Don't run away from it. Don't run away.
You've got something good here.
With her, with your friends.
Something that...
Something that we could never give you.
Also, man up.
After what I just saw in there, she needs you.
ALICE: FP.
As block captain of the Neighborhood Watch,
I am obligated to ask you
what you're doing on this side of town.
Don't act so high and mighty, Alice.
You may not live on the Southside anymore,
you may not dress like you're from the Southside,
but we both know the truth.
Snakes don't shed their skin so easily.
Good night, FP.
Now get the hell out of my neighborhood.
You're still hot, Alice.
Too bad you're a stick in the mud.
And all this time, I thought you were a lover, not a fighter.
I'm both.
I've got layers.
You were doing something nice,
it's just that sometimes,
when people do nice things for me, I short circuit.
Maybe I'm not used to it.
Maybe I'm scared.
Of getting hurt.
Or being rejected for being myself.
I should have told you about Chuck.
But I lied.
And instead I threw you this party that you didn't even want.
Why did you?
Something is very, very wrong with me.
Like there's this darkness in me
that's overwhelming sometimes,
and I don't know where it comes from.
But I think that's what makes me do these crazy things. Like...
(SIGHS)
(SNIFFLES)
ARCHIE: How am I ever gonna look anyone in the eye ever again?
By Monday, this will all be but a dream.
Trust me. No one will remember anything.
Except maybe that I accused Cheryl of twincest.
(SIGHS)
I drunk-dialed my dad, Ronnie.
Archie.
What did you say?
I told him not to sign the divorce papers.
I don't even know why,
it's not like I even want them to get back together.
Veronica, why do I keep doing this?
I keep wrecking things.
Welcome to my life.
Every day, I feel like there's a new secret,
a new lie about my parents
and what they've done.
(WHISPERS) I don't want my mom to be guilty, Archie.
I really want that to be a lie.
Do you ever wonder...
What if you had done things differently,
what if you had made different choices?
What do you mean, different choices?
Every day I wonder,
what if I had left Riverdale with my mom?
Would things be...
Would I be better off?
I can't answer that, Archie,
but we wouldn't have met,
and that would've been a tragedy of epic proportions.
(CHUCKLES)
I'm messed up, Veronica...
We all are, Archie.
And, honestly, you less than most.
Veronica. Hey, good morning.
Morning, Jughead.
(LAUGHS) Um...
So listen...
Don't... Don't worry, my lips are sealed.
Okay. Cool.
Smithers, you've known my parents a very long time, haven't you?
Oh, my, yes, ages.
And would you describe my father as a good man?
I'd rather not say, miss.
And my mother, is she...
Unequivocally good.
No doubt in my mind about that.
Thank you, Smithers.
-Veronica. -I'm sorry I'm late.
And thank you, Mom, for not getting mad that I slept over at Betty's.
Thank you for coming.
I believe in you, Mom.
And I'm ready to go on record
about how much my mom and dad love me.
(COUGHING)
Long night's journey into day?
-(CELL PHONE RINGING) -(SIGHS)
I can't face the music right now.
Yeah, I understand.
So, you and Veronica...
Yeah...
-Jug... -Don't worry.
I'm never telling anyone anything literally ever.
Okay, good.
Thanks. That's great. (LAUGHS)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
I brewed some High Point
and brought you some aspirin for the headache I'm sure you have.
Thanks, Mom.
So I saw that you invited Jughead's dad
to your little soiree last night.
I did. I thought it would be nice.
And he was talking to a long-haired delinquent wearing a leather jacket.
-You mean Joaquin? -Is that his name?
They know each other through the Serpents.
He's kind of dating Kevin.
What?
A Southside Serpent dating the Sheriff's son?
This is a small town, but it's not that small.
Hi there.
Decaf skim latte and a fresh scone.
The last time you brought me baked goods
was because you kissed Archie.
(LAUGHS)
Betty...
I just testified on my father's behalf
and helped his chances of going free.
That's good news, right?
My dad hired Jughead's dad to trash the drive-in.
And given recent events, it's not inconceivable
that he might've hired him to do other jobs.
Like go after Jason as payback for what the Blossoms did to him.
(SIGHS)
I want to help with your investigation.
I want the truth.
Whatever it is.
JUGHEAD: Whether you believe in order or chaos,
in the end, it's the same...
We are either in control of our lives,
or merely think we are.
Miss Veronica.
Package arrived for you.
-(DOOR OPENS) -FRED: Archie.
We're home.
Mom?
Hi, honey.