[narrator] Previously on Riverdale:
[Jughead] Hiram's gonna follow you or us, wherever we go.
Where is he?
-I've heard of this game before. -It's an urban legend.
We definitely have to play it.
[Alice] We dubbed ourselves the Midnight Club.
[Penelope] Welcome to the Ascension Party.
What about these drugs?
-I don't know how they get them. -A Serpent dealer. Fangs Fogarty.
Go undercover. Join the Gargoyle Gang.
Need a man inside Hiram Lodge's drug operations
-to take him down. -[Archie] Your dad's out there.
If we're together, he'll hunt me down. Everyone close to me is his target.
If you loved me, you would come home.
[Archie] If I ever wanna go back to Riverdale,
I have to destroy that part of me that's weak.
[bear roars]
I was attacked by a grizzly. I'm in bad shape.
[woman] Come on. Wake up, kid.
[Jughead] At 8:47 on a Wednesday morning,
Archie Andrews died.
At least, the Archie we knew.
What returned to Riverdale was something far different
from the redheaded boy next door.
He was now a stranger,
with dark hair and scars...
both inside and out.
What, Vegas?
Archie.
Hey, Dad.
[groans]
What? What's wrong, son?
It's a long story.
I don't remember the rangers finding me.
Then I woke up in the hospital, knowing that... I couldn't keep running.
It was time to come home, back to a normal life, if that's possible.
What about Hiram?
[chuckles] I survived a bear attack, Dad.
I can't live my life in fear of when he might come after me anymore.
I'm more worried about him gunning for you.
I survived the Black Hood.
Twice.
Hiram doesn't scare me.
He's not the only one in this town with friends.
What about Veronica? You reach out to her?
[Archie] Veronica?
Archie?
What are you doing here? Where have you been?
-Why haven't you called me? -I wanted to.
Every day. But after the last call...
What the hell happened to your hair?
I dyed it, so I wouldn't get recognized, in case...
your father came looking for me.
Right.
Veronica, I'm sorry.
If you don't wanna ever talk to me again, I completely understand that.
Don't be crazy, Archie.
I'm just so happy that you're home.
And safe.
[Pop] Two chocolates, one vanilla, and a root beer float for Archie.
-Welcome home. -Thanks, Pop.
Since when do you drink root beer floats?
I'm just not in the mood for a milkshake.
New drink, new hair...
new haunted, vacant look in your eyes.
Guys, Archie lived through The Revenant. Let him order what he wants.
So, what'd I miss while I was gone?
Well, thanks to the town quarantine orchestrated by my father,
Pop's was shut down, and just reopened.
He's also been attacking shipments to the speakeasy.
But I've hired the Serpents as my full-time protection,
and that service extends to you, Archie.
Don't worry about Hiram's goons coming after you or your dad.
You won't see them, but I have guys watching you.
I have a possible lead that could diffuse this threat permanently.
What, Jug?
You can't tell anyone.
Fangs is deep undercover in the Gargoyle Gang.
Hasn't met the King. He's working on it.
When we get access, we'll take him down.
My bet is it's Hiram underneath the mask.
-Sorry, Veronica. -Don't be.
-I wouldn't put it past him. -Well, there goes studying for the SATs.
What?
SATs?
Yeah, they're this Saturday.
Don't worry. I will help you study and catch up.
Okay? We all will.
[sighs]
I'm sorry, Betty, but your debit card was declined.
I got you, Bee. Just put it on my tab, Pop.
This is a new low. I was on the phone with the Bank of Riverdale,
who told me that all of my accounts, including my college fund,
have been completely drained of assets.
Not drained, just transferred.
Most of it was blood money
-you inherited from the Blossoms. -Okay.
Tell me where that money went.
It was wired to the Farm, as a tax-deductible donation.
You gave my money to the Farm?
To help support the children you liberated from the Sisters.
-You just gave away my tuition money. -Or...
of course, you could always study at the Farm for free.
Mom, I swear to God,
you are not cornering me into joining your cult.
[Hiram] Fred Andrews.
FP Jones.
What can I do for you fellas?
Came to let you know that my son is home permanently.
He is?
-That's just great, Fred. -[FP] Cut the crap, Hiram.
-We all know you have it out for his kid. -I'll stop you there.
I've never wished any harm to...
either of your sons.
Hiram, if you harm a hair on Archie's head, I will kill you.
Make no mistake about it. And I'll be at peace
with whatever the consequences of that are.
As you transition back into your life at Riverdale High,
I would advise you to be realistic in terms of your goals.
I am, Mr. Weatherbee.
I just wanna get caught up, and I wanna be a normal student again.
The SATs are this coming Saturday.
I'm guessing you haven't really had a chance to adequately prepare?
Not yet, sir.
Mr. Andrews, given your situation,
I would strongly recommend...
that you repeat your junior year.
And not graduate with my friends?
In the long term...
I believe it would be best for you.
Everything all right?
-You didn't text me back last night. -Reggie.
Cool it.
Archie's back.
-Archie's back? Since when? -Look.
I know we were...
But I can't tell Archie that one of his best friends
and his ex-girlfriend got together while he was away,
-so you and I, this has to-- -No, I get it.
Archie's back.
'Nuff said.
How's he doing?
He's feeling...
unsettled
and stressed.
I can't do anything about the former,
but I definitely can about the latter.
With something that'll help all of us blow off some steam.
[Betty] She can't do this, can she?
She can as long as both of your parents signed off
to release your funds.
And from these, it looks like... your father did sign.
No, that's impossible. She never goes to see him.
Is this his signature?
No. That's a forgery.
And I know because I, myself, have forged it in the past.
As part of an investigation.
Well, you need to get your real father to sign an affidavit,
attesting to the fact that he never agreed to liquidate your funds.
Then we can pursue legal action.
Which means...
I have to see my dad.
I'm sure you've heard, Hiram,
the Sisters of Quiet Mercy estate is up for auction.
Appears to be a competitive situation with multiple bidders,
including the Farm, coming in with strong offers.
I have other plans for that property.
For my brothel?
The Sisters will not be turned into a brothel, Madame Blossom.
So, then why did you summon us here, Hiram?
Because we need a new sheriff.
Someone who'll allow our various enterprises
to continue without scrutiny.
And I'm nominating you, Claudius.
The last sheriff, Minetta, was found decapitated.
-You're out of your mind, Hiram. -Oh, I'm sorry.
Did I make it seem as if you had a choice in the matter?
It's where I want you.
It's not a request.
Iconoclast?
Iconoclast.
[sighs] Okay, iconoclast.
That is...
A person who attacks another's beliefs.
I'm in high school. How should I know?
Let's start thinking about the SATs in terms of strategy.
When in doubt, why don't you just fill in all the bubbles marked D?
Betty, how'd I do on the practice test? I tanked it?
Um...
I got 600 on this part.
That's your combined score, Arch.
It's in the bottom 10th percentile.
[cell phone buzzing]
I gotta go. It's Fangs.
Want me to come?
No, stay, get a couple extra hours of cramming in.
-Betty's gonna catch you up to speed. Bye. -Bye.
Good luck.
[Archie sighs]
What's the point? It's hopeless, right?
You said that when you were in second grade and couldn't read.
-Remember? We got you caught up. -You did, you mean.
Maybe Weatherbee's right. Maybe I've just missed too much here.
I've changed too much.
Well, in one respect, maybe you have.
Do you trust me?
Jughead, I'm in.
-Tell me everything. What happened? -The Gargoyle King.
The other guys told me that he's impressed by my Fizzle Rocks sales,
so he wants to invite me into his inner circle.
They're having a ceremony tomorrow night.
He'll be there.
Fangs, this is huge. Where's it happening?
A clearing in Fox Forest. Not too far from here.
-What do you want me to do? -Go.
Don't worry, you'll have backup.
[Betty] Okay, Archie, let's see it.
[grunts]
[sighs]
There he is.
And just in time, too.
Just in time for what?
[crowd] Surprise!
-[all cheering] -[Archie chuckles]
What is all this?
Well, it was going to be a study party,
but that was before you came back home to us.
So, now it's a study-slash-welcome-home party, Archie,
complete with a musical amuse-bouche, provided by moi.
So, take a seat, lover, and let me entertain you.
[music playing on speakers]
[singing in Spanish]
It's good to see you, Betty.
I'm disappointed it took so long.
Let's skip the small talk.
Is this your signature?
No.
What is that?
Mom stole my college funds, so I need you to sign an affidavit
that says that this signature is a forgery.
In reading the papers most recently,
I found myself compelled by this Gargoyle King.
Fourteen souls he's claimed.
Remarkable.
Of course, you'd find a kill count impressive.
I bet it roils you up that you haven't caught him.
I could help you.
I'm just trying to go to college.
[Hal clears throat]
This Gryphons and Gargoyles manual that I've read so much about,
bring me a copy...
I'll be happy to sign your affidavit.
[Reggie] I'm not down with it, Ronnie.
Archie taking off like that? It's not cool.
He's... in extremis, Reggie.
For all we know, he walked back to Riverdale all the way from Canada,
and right into the pressure cooker of school and the SATs.
All I'm saying is...
the Archie I saw last night, he's different.
I don't disagree.
-He is different, Reggie. -And if it's permanent?
Hmm?
-And he's not your Archiekins anymore? -Look, I know what you want me to say.
But I just can't even think about that right now.
[door bangs]
You got some pretty big coconuts, pulling that stunt last night.
You don't know what you're talking about.
I'm talking about how you stormed out of the speakeasy like a little bitch.
Bro, I'm warning you, you don't wanna start with me.
Dude, what the hell happened? How'd you get those scars?
-I was attacked by a bear. -What? You serious?
You were attacked by a frigging bear?
Damn. No wonder why you're all messed up.
[Hiram] Mi amor, we've outgrown the Pembrooke,
so I've decided to buy the Sisters of Quiet Mercy.
It'll be our castle, our stronghold.
Sounds wonderful.
Except that the place is probably haunted by the ghosts of the nuns that died there.
I'll have it cleansed by a señora.
In the meantime, I need you
to appoint Claudius Blossom sheriff of Riverdale.
After some careful consideration, he's agreed to take on the challenge.
Hiram...
-no. -Mm.
Claudius Blossom is your business partner.
-People will talk. -So, let them talk.
Given our recent expansions,
it's imperative that we have a friend in the sheriff's office.
Ironic, considering I don't know what these expansions are.
Yeah, it doesn't matter.
It's what's best for the family, Hermione, so...
for all our sakes...
but especially yours,
I'd do it quick.
[Betty] The G&G manual, as requested.
Did you bring the affidavit?
Leaving so quickly?
Can't we at least exchange pleasantries?
What? What do you wanna talk about, huh?
The SATs? My college applications?
I think we're beyond that point, don't you?
[Hal] Perhaps.
So, what if we talked about Ascension Night?
How do you know about that?
I was there.
How? You weren't a member of the Midnight Club.
No.
But I knew about them.
Who they were.
I was the one who sent them the invitations
for Ascension Night,
who dressed up as the Gargoyle King,
and who poisoned the chalices.
Wait, you killed Principal Featherhead?
-Why? -My plan had been
to kill as many members of the Midnight Club as possible,
because they were all sinners, Betty.
Every last one of them.
But Featherhead crashed the party and drank from the cups.
-Was he your first kill? -Yes.
Is that why you think you can solve the mystery
of the Gargoyle King in the present?
-Because--? -Because I was the Gargoyle King...
in the past.
-You and your mom keep missing each other. -Excuse me?
My mother hasn't been here in months.
-Her name is Alice Cooper, isn't it? -Yeah.
She comes every Monday, like clockwork.
[Fred] Fresh whites.
Coming in.
Changing it up in here a little bit?
I was studying at my desk, but it was cluttered with crap.
Whoa. Who is this guy? The Variety Show. You remember that?
-That was great. -Barely, to be honest.
-Are you feeling okay, son? -Yeah, Dad. I'm just restless.
It's weird being home, back in this room, after all this time. I feel kind of lost.
Wanna--?
Wanna talk about it?
Maybe after the SATs. I gotta keep studying.
Can you...?
-Yeah. -Thanks.
[breathing deeply]
Fangs Fogarty, kneel before your king.
[growling]
[clinking]
To enter his kingdom, you must bear his mark,
the mark of the Gargoyle.
[both grunt]
[Jughead] Now!
[Serpents yelling]
[Gargoyle] It's the Serpents. Scatter!
[Jughead] Sweet Pea, get Fangs!
[FP] Mine.
Tall Boy?
We all thought you were dead, Tall Boy. Where you been hiding?
A small town called Athens.
Gotta say,
it's good to be back.
Alice Cooper, she was looking extra sweet
the night me and my boys broke into her house,
scared the crap out of her and her bitch daughter. That was fun.
[laughs]
All right. Let's cut to the chase.
We know you work for Hiram.
You've been dressing up in that little costume, like his mascot.
So, now you...
are gonna help us take him down.
You know what else was fun?
Carving that symbol on Joaquin's forehead after I killed him.
-You're dead! -You son of a bitch!
What?!
-I'm gonna kill him! -He killed Joaquin!
What do you think, Tall Boy, huh? Should I let them tear you limb from limb?
Or are you gonna help us get to Hiram? You have access to him.
The Man in Black would never agree to meet with me.
Not unless I have something that he really wants.
Mom?
-Why are you dressed like that? -Hmm?
Oh, is that what you wear when you go visit Dad?
Okay, I don't have time for your mad ranting, Betty.
I'm prepping for an interview with RIVW.
It's my lifelong dream to work for local broadcast news.
I went to see Dad.
To try and get my money back, after you forged his signature.
Okay, Betty...
Dad said he was the one who murdered Principal Featherhead.
That's impossible. Your father wasn't even there that night.
How would Dad know details about Ascension Night, and he does,
unless he was there,
or someone told him about the Midnight Club?
That someone has to be you.
Okay, Betty, I swear to you, in 25 years of marriage,
I never mentioned Ascension Night once.
I haven't gone to see your father
since before this whole Gryphons and Gargoyles mess started.
Someone named Alice Cooper's been visiting him.
[Reggie] No. No.
Hey, Reg, you busy?
No, just swiping on Bumble,
praying that the future Mrs. Mantle is within a 30-mile radius.
The truth is, love doesn't come easily to me these days.
[cell phone buzzing]
Or does it?
Okay.
So, Reg...
I need to talk you about something.
I need to talk to you about cheating.
Oh, dude. She told you?
You know it's over, right?
[chuckles]
What are you talking about?
I--
I figured you'd know a way to cheat on the SATs.
Oh, crap.
She's gonna kill me.
She didn't think you'd come back. I didn't think you'd come back.
Maybe I shouldn't have.
Jug, I don't know if I can handle any more quizzing.
That's not why I'm here. I need your help, Archie.
The Gargoyle King is Tall Boy. We have him locked down in the bunker.
-Tall Boy's alive? -He's been hiding in Athens.
[sighs]
This is our shot to finally smoke out Hiram Lodge.
We need bait to lure the Man in Black out of the shadows.
I'm betting the thing that he still wants most...
is you.
Save your breath, Jug.
You don't have to convince me to take down Hiram. I'm in.
-This is Hiram. -[Tall Boy] I have the Red Paladin.
Him and his friends tried to ambush us in the woods.
If you want him...
[Hiram] I do. Where?
[Tall Boy] Usual meeting place.
Nine o'clock.
Understood.
Good work.
Hi, this is Elizabeth Cooper.
I was just there yesterday visiting my dad, Hal Cooper,
and you mentioned that my mom has also been visiting.
This is gonna seem like a weird question,
but can you just describe to me what Alice Cooper looks like?
[Betty] Thank you for meeting me, Auntie.
I was reluctant to show up,
since the last time we met, you accused me of murder.
-I trust that won't happen again. -No, Auntie.
But I did want to ask,
are you one of those sickos who fantasizes about serial killers?
As a young woman,
I did write the odd letter to Jeffrey Dahmer, yes.
[Penelope chuckles]
-Was there a specific reason you asked? -Yeah.
You've been posing as my mother to visit my father.
Why?
The only way to get conjugal visits.
A man has his needs.
Did you ever tell him about Ascension Night?
Yes, during pillow talk.
He's claiming he was the Gargoyle King back then.
-Why would he lie to me about that? -Oh. Men and their delusions.
Why do they do anything?
Self-aggrandizement.
[Betty] You sick narcissist.
You made it all up. You were not at Ascension Night.
The only reason you even know about it is because Penelope Blossom told you.
So, I've been asking myself,
why would you take credit for murdering Featherhead?
Was it so I would write about it?
To put you, the original Big Bad Black Hood, back in the spotlight?
Try again.
Why would I dangle such an outrageous lie in front of you?
-I have no clue! -Come on, think about it, Betty.
Why would a father tell his daughter such a thing?
For what possible reason?
To keep me on the line.
To keep me coming back to you.
Oh, Betty, how I've missed you and our chats.
You will stoop to any level to get me back in your clutches, won't you?
I just wanted some father-daughter time.
Well, I hope you got your fill today,
because I will never be coming back here again.
Well, that's what you said before.
[FP] You're not Hiram.
-Tall Boy? -Neither of us is who we expected.
-What the devil--? -Claudius Blossom.
You're not the Man in Black.
-What happened? Why did Hiram send you? -I don't know what you mean.
Save it for the judge.
You may not be the Man in Black, but his stink is on you.
I'm making a citizen's arrest.
[Archie] Ronnie.
[Veronica crying]
Hey.
Reggie called me.
-Archie-- -Ronnie. You don't have to explain.
-You didn't do anything wrong. -Archie, when we broke up...
I was angry.
At my father for driving you away,
but mostly at you, for not fighting to stay by my side.
And the more time passed, the more I got tired of missing you.
And now that I'm back?
Oh, God, Archie.
-This is the worst time to be doing this. -Then let's not.
Let's finish this conversation tomorrow.
But tonight...
can we be together?
Will you stay with me?
You have 30 minutes to complete the first portion
of the SAT math section.
When you are finished, do not skip ahead to the other sections.
I will issue a five-minute warning, for your convenience,
prior to the time limit.
Do you all understand?
Good.
You may begin.
Is there a problem?
Archie!
If you follow him out that door, it's an automatic zero.
[Hiram] Don't worry about Claudius's arrest, mi amor.
Why do you think I sent him instead of going myself?
I have instincts about these things.
It's how I stay alive.
By always being one step ahead
-of everyone else. -[gunshot]
[gasps]
[grunting]
[Evelyn] Eat up. [chuckles]
Betty, you're just in time.
We're celebrating with some raw milk and oatmeal raisin cookies.
Mm. Celebrating what?
With a little help from Edgar's connections,
-I got the job. -And that's not all.
The Farm has found and bought its new headquarters.
The convent where the Sisters of Quiet Mercy lived.
Thank you so much, Betty.
What--? What did I do?
Thanks to your generous contribution, Betty, all of us,
including the lost souls you saved,
will benefit with a new permanent home in Riverdale.
It's the dawn of a new era for the Farm.
[woman] Cheers.
Cheers.
[woman over PA] Dr. Parker, you're needed in Room...
Excuse me. Room 260, Lodge.
Ronnie.
Sorry I missed your calls.
-Where have you been? -I came as soon as I heard.
How is he?
We don't know.
He just got out of surgery.
What the hell happened?
He was shot.
Sometime after you ran out of the SATs.
Sometime after I...
Wait.
You don't think I...?
Did you?
No.
The fact that you could even ask me that...
It's over, isn't it?
-[Fangs sobbing] -[Jughead] Fangs, Sweet Pea.
What happened?
Don't touch him.
-What happened? -Tall Boy was trying to escape.
-I don't know. It was an accident. -[Sweet Pea] You gotta believe us.
What are we gonna do? Look at him!
-What do we do? -I told him not to come at me like that.
-[Sweet Pea] What do we do? Look at him! -Shut up! Let me think!
[exhales, then sighs]
[Fangs crying]
We're gonna throw a party.
Okay.
[Fred] Looks like Hiram is gonna be out of commission for a while.
[sighs] You must be relieved.
[scoffs] I'm not.
What's wrong, son?
Veronica and I broke up.
I also walked out of the SATs today, so...
I don't know how to do this.
To just pretend like everything's the same as it was before.
It's gonna take you a minute to pick up the pieces.
But listen...
Let's take it slow.
How did you get through juvie, all that time alone?
In the wilderness, on the run.
I fought.
Every day.
I didn't stop fighting. I fought for my life.
Well, you'll just have to keep fighting.
["All Is Lost" playing]
♪ I'm tryin' to run But I'm held to the ground ♪
[guard] It's mealtime, Mr. Blossom.
♪ I'm tryin' to see ♪
[FP] How is he?
♪ But I'm under a shroud ♪
Hermione.
How is he?
Hiram's stable. For now, at least.
That's not why I called you here, FP.
I think it's time.
No one else understands what she's capable of.
♪ Chasin' a phantom ♪
No one but you.
She just gave my money away, Dad.
Mom gave all my money,
like my education meant...
nothing.
It means everything.
And I'm sorry, Betty.
But here's the good news.
Betty.
You're gonna have colleges lining up to give you scholarships.
Weren't the SATs this weekend?
So, how'd you do?
Pretty good, I think.
♪ Playin' tricks on my mind ♪
♪ There's nowhere to run ♪
Reggie?
♪ Lost in the darkness Chasing a phantom ♪
Come here.
[sighs]
-We're freaking out, dude. -Hey, just keep it together, guys, okay?
It was an accident.
As far as anyone knows, Tall Boy's been exiled. I exiled him.
Just...
relax.
Okay? Just grab a drink.
Party like your life depends on it.
Serpents!
We have a lot to celebrate.
-[all cheering] -[man] Yeah!
We finally unmasked our foe, the Gargoyle King.
[Serpents cheering]
Hiram Lodge, the Man in Black,
-is down for the count. -Yeah!
And tonight,
we are welcoming back one of our own, Fangs Fogarty.
-Yeah! -[Serpents cheering]
[all chanting] Serpents. Serpents.
-Serpents. Serpents. -[siren wailing]
Serpents.
God, man, they know about Tall Boy.
[indistinct police radio chatter]
Dad.
Sheriff Jones now, boy.
Listen up!
You're looking at the new law in Riverdale.
-[man 1] Yeah! -[Serpents cheering]
[man 2] Yeah!
[rock music playing]
♪ Everybody's looking for Just a little bit of magic ♪
♪ Go ahead and look around What you gotta do is grab it ♪
♪ Running to the back streets Chasing down America ♪
Son?
You hit that thing any harder, Alice is gonna file a noise complaint.
It's like you said, Dad.
Gotta keep fighting, right?
[Fred] Looks like a cell in here.
[sighs] You gonna be okay?
I think so, Dad, yeah.
♪ Planted on the edge of the town ♪
♪ His feet are touching the ground ♪
♪ Gettin' lost till we never get found ♪
♪ Come one and turn, turn, turn it up Play it loud ♪ e complaint.