[narrator] Previously on Riverdale:
I propose a truce.
You don't make a move against me, I won't make a move against you.
You can't fight your destiny.
No. Don't!
[Betty] The warden also called Archie a Red Paladin.
-[Archie] They marked you for sacrifice. -[Ricky] I gave it to myself.
[Archie] I let my guard down for a second.
Maybe time to make this thing come to a head.
Gotta take drastic action, boy. Words won't do it.
I agree. Something that gives us purpose.
Mobilizing that gang search for Archie's lost boy gave me the idea.
We've come up with a plan, to deputize the Serpents.
We're in escrow. I sold the house.
-[Betty] To who? -[Alice] Some anonymous buyer.
[smoke alarm beeping]
My God.
We'll figure out a payment plan for the rest.
-Understood. -[Gladys] In exchange...
-You lend me those wheels. -Not Bella.
One more thing. Don't tell Jughead about our business.
Everything's going how you said. Got Dad wrapped around my pinkie.
We moved to the right place at the right time.
I could feel it. Hmm.
[Jughead] What exactly is the American Dream?
For my dad, on the eve of his 50th birthday,
the American dream was this:
A father,
a mother,
son,
a daughter,
a loyal hound,
food on the table.
The only thing missing was...
Eat up. Because when we're done, we're taking a little ride.
Where to, Mom?
Well, that's a surprise, JB.
I think you're gonna like it.
You, too, old man.
Who you calling old?
Aw, come here. You're all cockeyed.
[Gladys chuckles]
[Gladys laughing]
-[Jughead] What are we doing here? -It's an early birthday gift for your dad.
I mean, for all of us.
Just closed on it a few days ago.
-Gladys... -Mom...
What?
What the hell is Alice Cooper doing in my house?
-FP? -Jug?
Mrs. Jones.
Are you the anonymous buyer?
[FP] What the hell happened here?
[Alice] Oh, uh...
We had a minor mishap with a candle.
Nothing that a fresh coat of paint or new set of curtains won't fix.
I'm so confused.
You sold our house to the Joneses?
-Not to me. -Not to me.
I bought it.
I made an all-cash offer online.
Mom, we can't move in here.
-Why the hell not? -Because it's Betty's house.
There's definitely been some sort of misunderstanding.
I think we should all just walk away from this.
That won't be necessary.
-Not as far as I'm concerned. -Mom.
This house is my past. I just want to be done with it.
-We're obviously not going to move in. -How much you wanna bet?
My mom wants to sell it, your mom wants to buy it. It's done.
Well, if that is the case...
one good thing is that you could just stay in your room. Live with us.
I don't know, Jug.
Living with your family, when I don't even know your mom that well.
What were you gonna do?
Crash at Vee's,
which I think I should still do
until I figure things out.
-Is that okay? -Yeah. Of course.
Still up for breakfast with the Marked Man?
Yeah.
Here's the deal, Archie. I checked with my dad,
who pulled all the files on Warden Norton after he committed suicide.
They cleared out his office, and they found this.
A Quest Card.
"Kill the Red Paladin." Like the one Ricky had.
These two cards are identical.
Has the same design, same card stock.
To me that indicates that someone printed out
multiple "Kill the Red Paladin" cards, put them out into the world.
[Betty] We need to find out who.
I know where to start.
[Cheryl] So, what do you think?
Perfect for Quebec, n'est-ce pas?
I don't understand. Who's going to Quebec?
I thought, since you've been working so hard with the Pretty Poisons,
it might be good for us to get away together,
so, I booked us a spring break ski trip to Mont Blanc.
Me and the Pretty Poisons were planning on a road trip to Sugar Lake.
Fine.
We don't have to go to the mountains, or anywhere, ever.
-I'm not saying that, Cheryl. Look-- -[cell phone beeps]
Shoot. Sorry, I'm running late for work. Can we talk about this later?
Archie. Long time. How have you been?
I was doing pretty good, Mr. Lodge.
Until a homeless kid stabbed me in my house.
Did this person break in?
No.
But he did have one of these.
You recognize it?
I, um...
You started that quest.
"Kill the Red Paladin." With Warden Norton.
And Tall Boy, when he was working for you, referred to me as the Red Paladin.
Even if he did, Archie, it's all in the past. We have a truce.
Did you give a Quest Card to Warden Norton?
-Yes. -Did you give out any others?
I...
I printed out an even dozen of these Quest Cards.
I gave three to Norton and nine to Tall Boy
to distribute amongst the more...
fanatical players.
Well, truce or no truce,
the clock you wound up is still running, Mr. Lodge.
There's other players out there, waiting to kill me,
that I now need to track down.
Right. I might be able to help you with that.
While I briefly distributed Fizzle Rocks,
my soldiers like Tall Boy would make drop-offs and pick-ups
to various hotspots around town.
-Hotspots? -Yes.
Where like-minded individuals would gather to do Fizzle Rocks
and play Gryphons and Gargoyles.
Here's a list of the locations. Players you're looking for might be there.
Hey, Red Hot, what's in the basket?
Freshly baked cherry scones for my Tee-Tee.
Gesture of goodwill after a disagreement. Where's she stationed tonight?
You'll see her downstairs.
-♪ Call your girlfriend ♪ -♪ Call your girlfriend ♪
-♪ It's time you had the talk ♪ -♪ It's time you had the talk ♪
-♪ Give your reasons ♪ -♪ Give your reasons ♪
-♪ Say it's not her fault ♪ -♪ Say it's not her fault ♪
-♪ But you just met somebody new ♪ -♪ But you just met somebody new ♪
♪ Don't you tell her How I give you something ♪
♪ That you never even knew you missed ♪
I swear I didn't know Gladys was even looking at real estate.
[sighs] Listen, FP, I want you to know, that house means nothing to me.
Wish I could say the same about you and Gladys.
Alice, uh...
She and I, we're still married.
Yeah.
Gladys left you and Jughead. Don't forget that.
That was my fault.
I was a no-good husband, a rotten father.
Do you love her, FP?
She's the mother of my children.
And me?
Do you love me?
It doesn't matter now.
It's over.
I'm sorry.
Ronnie, can we talk business?
Always. What's up?
I've invested a lot of time here.
Being a bartender, a bouncer,
a delivery man, pit boss, you name it.
I've also made sacrifices.
Like giving my car to Gladys.
So, I've been thinking,
I wanna be your business partner.
Reggie...
you have been nothing but helpful and dedicated.
But I still owe a hefty debt to my father and Gladys.
It just wouldn't be wise for me to begin another partnership right now.
Veronica, I know what I'm worth.
You should know, too.
Believe me...
I do.
But to quote my abuelita,
no one walks on water in my place...
except me.
[Jughead] Can I ask you about buying the Cooper house?
Sure. What about it?
[sighs]
Seems awfully convenient, doesn't it? That particular house.
Also seems pretty permanent.
Yeah, I've been looking at real estate in Riverdale for a while now.
-Where'd you get that money? -I sold the chop shop in Toledo.
Is there a problem, Jug?
No.
Just since you've been back, you've made...
what some people would call shady moves.
Buying the Cooper house, foisting the Gargoyles on me.
I'm sorry. Why are you so suspicious of me all of a sudden?
We haven't had a single conversation since you've been back.
I don't know what your plan is, what you're doing here.
It did me good, to see you and your dad in Toledo.
It reminded me of what I'd been missing.
The entire family together.
As for what I'm gonna do here, I'm gonna get Jellybean in school...
find myself a job, maybe at a garage.
How's that all sound to you?
Sounds good.
Is it true?
[laughs] Oh, Jughead.
Look, your dad has got a sweet gig now.
We've got a house with rooms for everyone.
I'm looking at this thing like a do-over.
A chance to be a real family.
That's all I want.
Oh, no, that's not true. There is one more thing.
It's, uh, your dad's 50th,
and I've decided to throw him a little soiree at the speakeasy.
And I would really like it if you gave the birthday speech.
You're the writer in the family. What do you say?
-Yeah. Okay, I'll do it. -[chuckles]
Today, the Serpents start a new chapter.
You're no longer outlaws. You're law-keepers.
Which is why I've got Tom Keller here to help.
He is the best damn sheriff Riverdale has ever had.
[Keller] Thanks, FP. That's quite an introduction. Um...
What we'll do over the next few months will be like basic training.
Each junior deputy will be paired with an officer who will then mentor them.
Jughead, boy, you're riding with me.
Did you ever think in a million years that at 50
you'd be sitting in the driver's seat of a sheriff's cruiser?
I never even imagined I'd make it to 50.
Figured that was my expiration date.
What'd you think was gonna happen?
Get myself killed or drink myself to death like my old man.
In a way, I'm, uh, just happy to be here.
Happy to be alive.
What are you most proud of?
You.
And your sister. I'm, uh...
proud of you both.
So, we're really doing this?
Moving to the Northside, into the Cooper house.
It's like a Norman Rockwell painting with leather jackets.
You know, you and Jellybean deserve it.
And for the first time ever,
I'm in a place where I can provide for my kids.
Put a real roof over your head, food in your mouths.
Damn.
It took me 50 years to get here.
[man over radio] We've got a 10-23 at the Chock-lit Shoppe. Out.
Ten-four. On my way.
The hell is a 10-23?
[siren wailing]
[tires screeching]
Hey, Pop, what's going on?
Some Fizzle Rocks junkie spazzed out and threw hot coffee all over Delores,
then ran out of here.
I thought Fizzle Rocks were gone. This candy epidemic was over.
[FP] I heard rumblings, rumors,
that someone's looking to reopen the candy store.
I wonder who.
That's a good question.
Nana Rose, you haven't seen Toni, have you?
Not since she gave me an envelope of money.
Come again? Money for what?
I believe she called it...
rent.
Fascinating.
[Veronica] I've been thinking about our conversation.
What's this?
It's what I consider to be a good, fair starting salary for you.
So, I'm just a hired hand to you, Ronnie?
You think I'm busting my ass to make minimum wage?
That's more than minimum wage, Reggie.
Enough to buy a clean conscience?
You know what?
Why don't you take the rest of the night off,
clear your head, and recalibrate your attitude?
Yeah.
That's a good call.
-[Jughead] And you believe Hiram? -[Archie] I do.
He says he gave out 12 Quest Cards.
Well, he's nothing if not thorough.
Okay, so, that means there could be as many as 10 cards still in play,
and that means we need to figure out how to track them
and whoever's holding them down.
Mr. Lodge gave me a list of places his dealers used to go,
where G&G players congregate.
"Suds Laundromat, Innuendo..."
These places are nearby.
Let's check them out. Start with the comic book shop.
See if we can tap into Riverdale's gaming network.
And so continues our nerdiest mystery yet.
[man] Princess Faye, it's your roll.
But you're down five hit points, and the Hellhounds are gaining on--
You're not allowed back here. This is a sacred space.
Sheath your sword, Game Master. Just here to ask questions.
Sorry to interrupt your game, but, uh, we're here because of this.
-Do you recognize it? -Yes.
And we know who you are. That quest is in play here.
Well, take your shot, then.
-Who gave it to you? -The King.
The Gargoyle King came here? The back room of a comic book store?
One of his disciples delivered the Quest Card for him.
He wore a mask.
Didn't say much.
Was he delivering Fizzle Rocks?
Who has the card? One of you?
No one in this room.
Whoever does, why haven't they made a play against the Red Paladin yet?
The Red Paladin is an advanced quest.
It takes time to adequately prepare for it.
But they'll act on it.
And sooner or later, they'll come for you, Red Paladin.
How are things with you and Jughead now that his mom's back?
Good.
He told me I could stay in the house with them, in my old room,
which feels just weird to me.
But I mean, I guess I'd get to know his mom and sister better.
Why do you ask?
Betty, there's something I need to tell you about Mrs. Jones.
What?
She swore me to secrecy, but...
I can't have you caught up in this, not even by association.
Caught up in what, Vee?
I have insider information that Gladys Jones
is taking over the drug trade in Riverdale.
What, like Fizzle Rocks? I thought all that stuff was gone now.
It was.
But like Gloria Swanson, it's getting ready for a comeback.
With Gladys leading the charge, instead of my father.
Vee, you need to tell me everything.
And then I have to tell Jughead.
It's a weird feeling.
Knowing there are all these strangers who wanna kill me.
It's the game. It makes people crazy.
As a matter of fact, those hardcore gamers are so obsessive,
any message from the Gargoyle King, they take as gospel.
Maybe we can harness it.
Like when I became Gryphon Queen.
We know that the only way to complete Hiram's quest
is to kill the Red Paladin.
But who says the Gargoyle King can't add to his own quest,
offer a different outcome?
You guys remember in elementary school, when it was snowing,
we played that game King of the Mountain?
Yeah, kind of.
Not really, no.
[Jughead] You won every time, Archie, so we can play to your strengths.
I'll write an addendum to the quest
that says the Red Paladin will defend his mountaintop for 12 hours,
dusk till dawn.
Anyone that has the "Kill the Red Paladin" card
can try and take you down.
If they don't by the time the challenge ends,
your mark of sacrifice is lifted.
-Let's do it. -[Betty] Okay.
Well, if we're gonna do that, no weapons.
Hand-to-hand combat only.
Only one challenger at a time.
Perfect. But we're still gonna need a space.
A mountaintop to increase your chances of winning.
I know someone who can help provide that.
Get writing. I'll call you.
We'll watch over him.
I know it's risky, but it's better to see them coming, right?
Right.
It's better to see it coming.
[sighs]
I heard from someone...
a source,
that Fizzle Rocks may be coming back into Riverdale.
Yeah, my money's on it being Hiram again.
Actually, my source says your mom is stepping in.
Jug...
Who's your source?
I can't reveal that.
But I would not tell you this if I didn't believe them.
They're trustworthy.
Okay.
-I'll look into it. -What?
-Let me help you. -No.
Thank you for telling me, Betty.
But let me do this on my own.
Plus we have Archie's quest to finish. I'll tell you if I find anything.
[Archie] I have a request.
I need somewhere to host and end my Red Paladin challenge.
Your what now?
I'm calling in everyone who has one of your Quest Cards.
And since you got me into this mess,
I figured you'd help find an appropriate spot.
As a matter of fact,
I recently acquired a city block near Sweetwater Docks,
where there are various shuttered businesses,
including a hole-in-the-wall boxing gym.
Right now, it's just sitting there.
You're welcome to use it.
Thank you, Mr. Lodge.
[cell phone buzzing]
Arch, any luck?
Found a place for the mountaintop. An old boxing gym by the docks.
I'll add it to the new quest, have the guys distribute it how Hiram did.
Awesome. See you at dusk?
See you at dusk.
Sweet Pea, Fangs, go to the old comic shop.
Old Deuteronomy and Weasel, you'll hit Innuendo.
Termite and Jinx, All About the Glaze.
We need to canvass all of Hiram's hotspots if we're gonna get the word out fast.
-What about these masks? -Wear them.
Remember, the goal is to try and convince them
that this quest came directly from the Gargoyle King.
We're on it.
And there's one more thing.
It's kind of personal.
These aren't just gaming hotspots.
They were hubs for Hiram's Fizzle Rock trade.
I've heard rumor
that a new player is moving in to restart it.
I want you guys to suss any information that you can, discreetly.
And if you find anything, I want you to come to me, and only me.
Okay?
-Let's go. -Yeah.
Reggie, what is going on?
Your bozo boy-toy here thought it wise to try to steal his car back
before we settled our account.
Not smart.
Mrs. Jones, perhaps I can make it up to you in some way.
How are you gonna do that?
Your husband's 50th at La Bonne Nuit. Let me cover the expenses for that.
Done. But keep your arm candy off my damn property.
How could you have done something so reckless?
You know we're this close to paying off our debt to her and my father.
-I'm sorry. -You're sorry?
Reggie, this is how wars start.
Damn it, Veronica, I gave you everything.
I wanted to get my damn car back, at least.
[chattering]
[pop music playing on speakers]
♪ We're young and on fire ♪
♪ We're never gonna die ♪
♪ They can't stop us ♪
♪ Don't let them stop us ♪
Cheryl.
What are you doing here? I'm working.
I'm not here for you. I was in the mood to gamble.
So, no ulterior motives, then?
Only to win, of course.
Now be a doll and fetch me a Bellini, why don't you?
[music continues]
♪ Baby, it's all for the taking ♪
♪ Taking ♪
♪ And we're back to let you know ♪
♪ The city's painted gold ♪
♪ The confetti's all been thrown ♪
♪ So be ready when we get up ♪
Maybe we didn't allow enough time for word to get around.
Maybe they didn't believe it actually came from the...
[Berserker] I'm here for the Red Paladin.
Arch.
[Jughead] Well...
guess the word got around.
Challengers.
Welcome to the Iron Mountain.
Approach this hallowed battleground,
submit your "Kill the Red Paladin" card,
bring the Paladin to his knees in three minutes,
and your quest is won.
However, should you run out of time,
should you fall to the Paladin's hand, then your quest is over.
Is that understood?
[crowd murmuring]
Then let's go!
[pop music playing]
♪ Everywhere you turn ♪
♪ It's never far behind you ♪
Who's next?
[bell rings]
[yells]
Next!
-You're doing great. -How many guys am I fighting?
Well, what do we have here?
Lying in wait for me?
Color me shocked.
Oh, please.
Earlier tonight, you were casing the place.
And you wanted me to know it.
So, what are you gonna do now?
Cuff me?
[K.Flay's "Giver" playing]
♪ I gotta ♪
♪ Oh, I gotta find another way ♪
♪ Another way ♪
[bell ringing]
Get off of him!
♪ I'm learning to live ♪
♪ I'm trying to be better ♪
♪ I'm learning to give ♪
♪ But I don't know if I'm a giver ♪
♪ I don't know if I'm a giver ♪
♪ Every day's another shot ♪
♪ I put the medicine inside my head ♪
♪ Apologize for all the things I said ♪
Okay, uh, there's only 11 cards here.
What, that's all? Who else wants to try?
-Who is that? -Captain Golightly.
My old guard at L&L.
Norton's lapdog.
My price for admission.
Hey, look at me.
-You sure you're up for this? -It's okay.
I want this sacrifice mark off me.
Enter the Kraken.
[crowd cheering]
-Begin! -[bell rings]
♪ I'm learning to live ♪
♪ I'm trying to be better ♪
♪ I'm learning to give ♪
♪ But I don't know if I'm a giver ♪
♪ I'm learning to live ♪
♪ I'm trying to be better ♪
♪ I'm learning to give ♪
♪ But I don't know if I'm a giver ♪
♪ I don't know if I'm a giver ♪
This one's for the warden.
♪ I got high hopes, lots of potential ♪
♪ I'm high, broke, searching for symbols ♪
♪ And I will not let go... ♪
And this one's for me.
♪ I'm trying to be better ♪
♪ I'm learning to give I got so much soul in my body ♪
♪ But no one keeping me honest ♪
-Yes! -Whoo!
That was for me.
♪ I'm trying to be better ♪
A sacrifice no more.
[laughs]
That was hot.
And nice.
Agreed.
Um...
But I think we need to talk about what's going on between us.
What is that, exactly?
I think you have a problem with the Poisons
because for once, I'm in charge of something,
and you're not.
False.
I'm upset because you wanna spend all your time with them
instead of me.
Cheryl...
I love you.
And yet...
I can't spend all my time cooped up in that house,
-and your bedroom. -Our bedroom.
That's exactly it.
It doesn't feel like our bedroom. It's entirely yours, your space.
It sounds, Toni, like you regret moving in with me.
Well, maybe it was too soon.
Too fast.
[scoffs]
In that case, maybe you moving out is exactly what needs to happen.
[Archie] Thank you for loaning me the gym.
Was it a successful night?
Time will tell.
Hmm.
But, yes, the quest you set in motion is finished.
Very good, Archie.
No, I want you to keep those.
And the gym.
I...
appreciate you helping me out this week, Mr. Lodge.
But I don't wanna be in your debt.
It's not a debt, Archie. It's compensation.
It's a way for me to make amends, since I was responsible
for launching the Red Paladin quest in the first place.
Take the keys.
Gym's yours.
No strings attached.
[Archie] Thank you, Mr. Lodge.
[door closes]
Hey, can I help?
You can start by telling me what's gotten into you.
Are you seriously self-destructing because I won't make you my partner?
Partly.
I have an issue with how I'm being treated by you.
Really?
I wanna be more than just your errand boy,
or pit boss,
or casual hookup.
I wanna matter, Ronnie.
You do matter.
And lest we forget, I just went through a wrenching breakup.
Just a few months ago.
So, yeah, I'm taking things slow.
Answer me honestly.
Would we even be dating if not for the speakeasy?
Probably not.
But I'm glad we are.
Aren't you?
I've given up so much for you.
I feel like you owe me. And I'm not getting an ounce in return.
In that case...
I bought your car back from Gladys.
Now we don't owe each other anything.
You guys had a hell of a night.
It was mainly Archie. What about you? Find anything?
Yeah. It's bad news, Jughead.
Hey. Just in time. I'm making your dad's favorite.
-Fried chicken. -We need to talk.
I hear rumors that you didn't move to town to get the family back together,
but instead to take the drug trade from Hiram Lodge.
You know...
I never was one for small-town gossip.
Is it true?
Yeah, it's true.
Why?
Why do you think? I did it for you, your sister.
Hell, even your dad.
It's about time the Joneses got a taste of it.
The American Dream.
No. You don't get to put this on us.
This is criminal. And it's selfish.
Since when is taking care of my family a selfish act?
Do you even know where your dad and I come from?
Hmm? No one ever handed us anything.
We had to hustle and scam
to make sure there was food on the table
and that you and Jellybean had a place to sleep.
Am I proud of all the crap that we had to do?
No. No. And you don't even know the half of it.
But we did our best, and we survived,
and now we're moving to Elm Street, which is all your father ever wanted.
[scoffs] Dad would not be okay, knowing how you paid for it.
Which is exactly why you won't say a word to him.
It would break him. Again.
Maybe for the last time.
And I know you don't wanna do that to him.
[rock music playing on speakers]
Happy birthday, Mr. Jones.
Thank you, Betty.
Not too long ago, you threw one of these for Jughead.
-You remember? -Ooh.
How could I forget?
-Happy birthday, Dad. -Thanks, son.
[FP groans]
You kids don't go too far. The good stuff is about to happen.
-Yeah. -Sure.
FP Jones. As I live and breathe.
-Happy birthday, brother. -Thanks, Fred. It's a bit much though.
No. You don't get many nights like this, you gotta soak it up.
[chuckles]
I feel like I stumbled into this party and people are about to ask who let you in.
Everybody takes their own path, FP. Your path has brought you here.
We are gonna be neighbors, and I'm happy about it.
Me, too.
-Thanks for being here. -Yeah.
[sighs]
Got your message, Cheryl. I'm so sorry to hear about Toni.
Oh, Kevin. Are you familiar with the phrase "que sera sera"?
Sure. It means, "Whatever will be, will be."
Yeah. It's also heavily featured
in the iconic high-school black comedy Heathers.
Did you know there's a musical version of it?
Cheryl, the Farm is co-sponsoring the musical this year.
It's going to be Godspell.
Not anymore.
I need to focus my rage.
Therefore this year's musical is Heathers.
You're directing,
I'm playing HBIC Heather Chandler.
Any questions?
I thought not. Okay, bye.
[audience clapping]
Thank you, everyone,
for coming out to celebrate one of Riverdale's finest.
-The finest, if you ask me. -Whoo!
My husband, FP Jones.
[clapping]
Once he was a king, a great king.
Maybe the best ever.
But I think the greatest role
that he's ever held...
is that of father.
So, why don't we ask Jughead to come on up here and say a few words?
-What do you say? -[man] Yeah.
Do you have any idea what you're gonna say?
I have no clue.
[crowd] Jug, Jug, Jug,
Jug, Jug, Jug.
[crowd cheering]
Uh...
Thanks, I...
wrote...
It's no secret that the Jones men don't really like birthday parties.
We're a rather broody bunch.
[crowd chuckles]
I remember when you made me promise not to stop writing. Not for anything.
And I haven't.
I've written every day.
But I could punch keys every night in a booth at Pop's,
and never come up with a story nearly as remarkable as yours.
You've gone from the wrong side of the tracks
to the right side of the law.
From Serpent King to Sheriff of Riverdale.
From a man that most people in this town...
had probably written off...
to someone that righted his wrongs...
and brought our family back together.
That's who you are to me.
Someone that would do anything for his family.
There's something you need to know about this family.
We'll always be there for you.
Me...
Jellybean, and Mom.
I'm proud to be your son.
I'm proud to share your name.
And I am proud...
to be part of your...
amazing story.
Here's to 50, Dad.
And to 50 more.
[all cheering]
That was a beautiful speech, Jug.
Thanks.
Most of it was true.
[Betty sighs]
What are you gonna do now?
Save Jellybean, protect my dad, and run my mom out of town.
Do you wanna help? tect my dad, and run my mom out of town.