[narrator] Previously on Riverdale:
[Toni] Now that the doll's back,
the spirit of Julian is haunting Thistlehouse?
What other explanation could there be?
These kids, they're good kids, Reg.
We're thinking the Bulldogs could be Big Brothers to them.
Did you happen to know my grandfather?
[DuPont] Your grandfather was an excellent writer.
[Betty] We don't actually know anything about Charles.
I'm interested in, is he a serial killer or not?
-You see, our father needed help. -Our father?
[Archie] Leave town,
or the next time we meet, you won't be driving away.
You won't even be walking.
You're a dead man, you hear me?
You're a dead man!
[Jughead] This is what happens in Riverdale:
Once the sun sets, Dodger's minions go to work.
He recruits hungry and homeless kids
so that if they're arrested, they do some time in juvie,
but then, they're back on the streets...
working for Dodger again.
-They're chewed up by the system. -[clattering]
Except that recently, someone has thrown a tire iron into the system.
[boy gasps]
You'll thank me someday.
-[car door closes] -Where you going? Come on!
[Jughead] Usually, Dodger or the police would go to the kid next,
but tonight is his lucky night.
Instead of getting sucked back into the system, then spat out again...
these kids, they've got someone looking out for them now.
People that ask themselves, "How do you save a town?"
And who know the answer.
Welcome to the team.
One kid at a time.
For every kid saved,
there was one less hustling for Dodger,
and that would not do at all.
[engine starts]
-Meanwhile, in existential hell, -[sighs]
I was facing the tyranny of a blank page,
-[line ringing] -and needed my anchor.
Hey, I didn't wake you, did I?
[bell jingles]
-Hey. -Hey.
Are you okay?
Yeah, I just can't write.
Mr. Chipping gave the class this assignment where we're supposed to write
our own version of a Baxter Brothers novel, which should be a dream come true.
But for the first time in my life, I'm having writer's block.
-Why? -My advice? Just take a break.
Okay? Take a walk. Look at some art.
Kiss your girlfriend.
I keep thinking I should break the Baxter Brothers novels down,
-like scientifically or something. -That could work.
But you could also...
kiss your girlfriend.
I'm sorry.
[voices speaking indistinctly]
What are you all doing here?
Julian needs a body, Cheryl,
so we're giving him yours.
[screams]
[gasps]
What?
Andrews, you asked us to be Big Brothers,
-not soldiers in a turf war. Who did this? -I got a pretty good idea.
It was definitely Dodger. He's been coming after us for weeks.
We've been chipping away at his gang, there's more kids getting off the streets.
But there's only so much we can do until Dodger himself is behind bars.
I can add Sketch Alley to the nightly patrol, Red.
That's great, but go after Dodger. He works out of the Wipeout Arcade.
Based on the last few days of following Charles,
this is what I've logged: 7 a.m., he leaves the Five Seasons,
where he has a suite, and goes to the FBI field office.
He has all of his meals at Pop's or our house.
And then rounding out his daily routine,
he goes to the Casa Grande Gym for a 90-minute workout,
including weekends, and then he goes back to the Five Seasons.
Well, I'm no expert, Betty, but...
it doesn't sound like Charles is a serial killer.
It kind of just sounds like he's a... A lonely gay guy.
Well, maybe he's both.
Oh, my God.
Of course.
Now that the trials are over, I think it's time to let bygones be bygones.
[speaking in Spanish]
I want us to move forward. No more secrets, no more lies.
Speaking of secrets and lies,
how many more secret children should we be expecting?
Hermosa is your one and only half-sibling.
I swear.
If we did decide to move forward together...
what exactly would that look like?
Well, now that the prison is bringing in a good income,
I'd like to return to my true passion.
Extortion?
-Murder? -Rum.
Papi's passion is rum.
Rum has been in our family for generations.
And Hermosa, who runs our clubs in Miami,
will be staying here in Riverdale to establish a rum outpost here.
I also thought she could help out at the speakeasy.
No.
I don't need any more help at La Bonne Nuit.
With the exception of my newest hostess.
And, seeing as how this is our house,
you two can show yourselves out.
You sure it's safe out here at night?
I'll be all right, Mr. Jones.
What's up?
Well, off your intel and probable cause,
we raided the Wipeout Arcade,
turned over every pinball and Pac-Man machine in it.
Found plenty of contraband, but...
none on Dodger. He was clean.
And let me guess, you found it on a bunch of kids?
That scumbag is using them, Mr. Jones.
Even so, I can't arrest Dodger unless I find evidence on him.
You're not going to,
not as long as he has these kids working for him.
[Jughead] I think there's a real-life mystery in these books.
I've gone and reread the entire series, and I noticed something strange.
While there is a house voice and an overall tone, sure,
you can tell when a new ghostwriter takes over.
Well, yeah, a writer can't completely suppress their own style.
Exactly. The verbiage, the phrasing. They're like literary fingerprints.
And when I went back to read the first book,
its fingerprint is unlike any of the rest of them.
It's raw. It's real.
The characters have tension. There's political commentary woven throughout.
They mention the war, the boys have summer jobs.
None of the rest of them are this grounded.
Meaning?
Allegedly, Mr. DuPont wrote the first five books
before passing the series off.
But after my analysis, the stylistic differences from Book 1 to Book 2
are too distinct to ignore.
There's no way that whoever wrote the first novel wrote the following.
-There's just no way. -Okay. Well, who wrote it, then?
This is gonna sound crazy, okay?
What if it was my grandfather?
Jug, your conspiracy theories are usually spot-on, but this one...
feels like a real stretch.
I know.
This is the one missing puzzle piece I have on my grandfather.
Think about it, Betty.
He sent me a first edition, first Baxter Brothers book.
And if that's not coincidental enough,
he wrote inside:
"Never let them take anything from you."
Does that not imply that something was stolen from him?
Implies, yes. Proves...
no. You need proof, Jug.
Yeah, you're right.
I'll get proof. I know I'm on to something.
I know it.
Meanwhile, how's the mystery of our suspicious brother going?
I'm following a hunch, too.
-[buzzer sounds] -[gate opens]
[gate closes]
Hello, Chic.
I wanna know about Charles,
that story you told us about him.
Is it true that you lived together at the Last Resort Youth Hostel?
Yes, it is.
When I went there,
a neighbor told me about seeing bloody sheets in the dumpster
and Charles mysteriously vanishing. Does any of that ring a bell?
Charles, your brother, and I, we were together.
One time, we brought a friend home with us.
We were doing jingle-jangle, a little too much...
and things got out of control. Charles snapped.
It was like some darkness took over.
He grabbed a pair of scissors and he stabbed the guy to death.
How do I know that you're telling the truth?
Why would I lie at this point, Betty?
What does Charles say happened?
Babe, what gives? I thought you were going to school today.
I was, for realsies, but...
I can't leave Nana and the twins here alone with...
you-know-who.
Cheryl, this has to end.
You've missed way too much school.
Okay, so get up, or I'm gonna drag you there myself.
Okay, Tee-Tee.
But there's one thing we need to do first.
[Cheryl] Fact: Evil spirits can't cross a circle of salt.
It's a barrier against all forms of malevolence.
Okay.
All done. I'll get dressed and off we go.
Wait. You went and saw Chic about me?
Why not just ask me if you're so damn curious?
Because I don't trust you, all right?
All I know is you're predisposed to being a serial killer,
and I've been burned before.
-What did he even say to you? -Oh, he spun quite the yarn.
About how you stabbed a man with a pair of scissors
-when you were high on jingle-jangle. -Oh.
Now, I take everything Chic says with a grain of salt...
but do you have a polygraph machine we can use here?
Yes. Why?
[Archie] Toby, Eddie,
tell me. Why do you keep running with Dodger?
Well, he pays us.
Yeah, in Wipeout coinage.
-You're giving your money back to him? -Plus, we get all the free pizza we want.
You guys realize you're risking everything,
your entire future, your lives, for pizza and arcade games?
[Archie] You guys don't have any spare arcade games lying around?
What's this now, Archiekins?
I'm trying to get these kids away from Dodger's arcade.
Step one: Give them another option.
What you're doing at the El Royale is so inspiring, Archie,
but not enough people know about it.
Well, I can write about the center in The Blue and Gold.
And I'll ask my vendors to see if they can help rustle up some arcade games.
[Doris] Will Cheryl Blossom please report to the principal's office?
Cheryl Blossom to the principal's office.
Why for was I summoned, Miss Bell?
Cheryl, there's been an accident at Thistlehouse.
One of the twins, Dagwood,
swallowed a ping-pong ball
-and started to choke. -What?
He was taken to the hospital,
where Dr. Saperstein performed a tracheotomy.
-On Dagwood? -Oh, he's doing very well, I'm told.
Your grandmother's at the hospital with Juniper, waiting for you.
I'll get to the hospital posthaste, but I need to take care of one thing first.
[Veronica] In the words of Dame Julie Andrews:
"Let's start at the very beginning." So...
hostess details to track: who's coming, where to seat them.
-Ms. Danvers near Bob Potter, always. -Mm-hm.
Where not to seat them. Booth 11 is the worst.
-Enemies only. -Okay, hold on, I'm gonna need a pen.
Mom, don't worry.
I will be right behind the bar if you need me.
Damn you, demon doll!
Of course you'd be here.
How dare you go after Dagwood to get to me.
[door opens, then footsteps]
Don't move, either of you.
-Aunt Cricket? Uncle Bedford? -Cheryl.
We let ourselves in. Hope that's all right.
[oldies music playing over speakers]
Veronica.
Ronnie.
Oh, God.
Daddy.
Hermosa.
You're not on the reservation list.
Well, I couldn't miss your mother's reentry into the workforce, could I?
At the clubs I run in Miami,
I always keep a table reserved for special guests.
Same. Mark them down for Booth 11.
Shall we begin?
You claimed you and Chic met on the streets.
True or false?
True. When we were both at our lowest.
Yes or no, someone was murdered in the room you shared at the hostel.
Yes. I came home from the grocery store one day
and found a dead man in our bed...
Chic covered in his blood.
Some trick that he had brought home.
My instincts took over.
I dissolved the body with lye in the bathroom tub,
threw out the sheets, scrubbed the room clean with bleach.
Chic watched.
That was the end of us.
I left him,
started over.
[Betty] Next question:
Are you hiding anything from us?
Tell me what, Charles.
I'm a recovering addict.
I attend weekly Narcotics Anonymous meetings.
Here in Riverdale, they're held at my gym.
-Charles, I-- -That's my big secret, Betty.
Hope you're satisfied.
Mr. Lodge.
What the hell are you doing here?
I came because I never had the chance to, uh...
tell you that I'm sorry for your loss, Archie.
Your father was a good man
and he'd be proud of you.
Thank you, sir.
And in his honor,
I'd like to make a charitable donation.
I hear this place could use the help.
Oh, no, no, we're all good here. Thanks.
It's a blank check, Archie.
All your problems, your money woes, they go away.
Nothing's that simple with you.
Like I said, we're all good. Thanks.
Oh, Tee-Tee, I had the most horrible phantasmagoria.
Dagwood swallowed a ping-pong ball,
and my accursed family came to Thistlehouse.
Oh, good. She's up.
Cheryl, dear, we'd love to see you downstairs.
Once you've collected yourself.
My Toni tells me you're here to discuss our maple syrup business?
Yes. We want to sell it.
The rest of the family is in agreement.
But with your father dead and Penelope in the wind,
we need your participation and signature to move forward.
And why, pray tell, do you vipers wanna sell
what's left of our family's legacy?
The business hasn't been profitable in years.
It's bleeding us dry.
Babe, it's up to you.
But this house has caused you nothing but pain.
Hey, if you sold it, we can start somewhere new, somewhere fresh.
Your proposal makes a modicum of sense.
-I'll consider it. -That's wonderful news.
Now, would you mind if we went down to the chapel
to light a votive candle of thanksgiving to celebrate?
Excuse you? Go-- Go where?
To the chapel.
We always visit with the ancestors whenever we come to Thistlehouse.
Absolutely not.
You're not going down there. Now begone!
All of you.
You won't be getting my signature,
nor will you ever visit that chapel again.
It is off-limits to anyone but me.
[clears throat]
[speaks in Spanish]
Hiram.
What the hell are you doing here?
-I wanna come home. -You don't live here anymore.
Now, just stop.
Veronica and I are finally free of you.
Is that what freedom looks like?
Playing hostess at a teenager's gin joint?
Let me back in,
you won't have to work another day ever again.
You'll be my wife again.
Over my dead body.
That can be arranged.
-Was that foreplay or punishment? -Punishment.
For having Tall Boy take potshots at me.
Like you did with Minetta.
Now, you know...
some couples, they...
tie each other up to spice things up.
But you and me, we order hits.
That's why we keep doing this little dance.
I need you.
I need you by my side.
I need you in my bed.
So, say yes and we'll start over.
We'll always be married, and we'll always be man and wife.
I already regret this.
[Jughead] I've been doing some digging.
I pulled copies of Stonewall Prep's literary magazine
from the year that my grandpa and Mr. DuPont attended.
In the table of contents, it lists a story written by Forsythe the First...
but it was torn out.
It's like every trace of his writing at Stonewall Prep is just gone.
Jug, where did your grandpa go to school after Stonewall Prep?
Riverdale High.
Wasn't there a literary magazine here, too, back in the day?
I'll be on the next train.
[Veronica] I see you got my arcade games,
but where are the kids?
Good question.
Toby? Eddie?
Where are your boys?
Did you tell them we've got arcade games? They can play for free.
Yeah, but Dodger's still giving them free pizza.
All right. Well, you can tell your boys
that tonight, it's not just video games that are free at El Royale,
it's burgers and fries and milkshakes from Pop's.
We'll get the word out.
Let's go.
Voilà.
I love you, Ronnie.
Same, Archiekins.
Same.
Tee-Tee,
this doll has conspired to bring my extended family upon us
for some devilish work.
We'll stop Julian...
and my hated family.
There.
Drown, spirit.
[door closes]
Mom, I have a surprise for you.
[Hermione] Oh.
Are those...?
[Hiram] Mine.
I am moving back in.
-Your mother and I-- -No.
I wanna hear it from her.
-Veronica. -Mom.
I have invited your father back.
Why?
He's a murderer.
And what am I?
I can't believe you.
We were done with him.
Mija, can we talk about what this is really about?
Your sister.
But you don't need to worry. You're still my favorite.
The apple of my eye.
My special little girl.
So, rest assured, there is no reason for you to be jealous of her.
Are you deranged?
-I'm not jealous of her. -Yes, you are.
And it's natural.
You are unbelievable, both of you.
[Jughead] Wait, hold on.
There's a story in this one written by Frosty Pajamas.
What? That sounds like a joke.
Or it's a pen name.
Think about it.
"Frosty" is almost an anagram for Forsythe.
And "Pajamas" are PJ's.
P and J? "Pendleton" and "Jones."
Betty, this is totally the same writing.
The syntax, the word choice, even the character names.
There's a character in here named Bitsy Bane.
Wait, that sounds vaguely familiar.
Yeah, Bitsy Bane is the next-door neighbor of the Baxter Brothers.
This was written years before the first Baxter Brothers book.
Is that enough proof for you?
I would say so.
How could you, Betty?
How could I what?
You visited that miscreant impostor, Chic.
-Well, that's my business, isn't it? -Yes, except afterwards,
he used his lawyer to contact the FBI
to report a murder that happened in the Black Hood's house.
Not committed by him but by a woman named Alice Cooper.
He said the man was bludgeoned to death in the kitchen.
The Shady Man?
Yes.
He also claims to know the location of the murder victim's burial site.
All that evidence is still out there.
Why, Betty? Why kick this hornet's nest?
I'll take the lead on this investigation.
Maybe with an assist from the local town sheriff?
Let's see if the remains are where Chic claims.
Don't wait up for us.
[indistinct chatter]
[pop music playing over speakers]
♪ Kids look down ♪
[Archie] This is good, this is good, this is good.
Hey, jump in, jump in, jump in.
Whoa.
[bell dings]
♪ Run this town ♪
Well, what do you think, Archie?
I think you're amazing.
-It's a good cause. -Archie. Archie.
There's some guy named Dodger outside who wants to see you.
All right, let me see what this clown wants.
I'll be back. Reg, make sure everyone stays inside.
What the hell did I tell you last time, Dodger?
You're not welcome here.
You're costing me my workforce.
They're kids.
They're happy to work for me.
Or they were...
till you showed up!
All right, what do you want?
Huh? You wanna fight me?
Sure...
but don't you need to put your mask on first?
What? What are you talking about?
See? I told you.
-[man 1] For real, man. -[man 2] Yeah, he did.
I told you he's that guy in the mask, the one making trouble for us.
-Aren't you? -I don't know what you're talking about.
I think you do, I think you know exactly what I'm talking about.
Cops are on their way, asshat.
No need for them to come.
I got the confirmation I need.
[whistles]
I'll be seeing you, friend.
[door opens]
[Alice] So?
How-- How'd it go?
We're okay, Alice. We're gonna be okay.
We, uh...
Charles and I took care of it.
Thank you.
Thank you, Charles.
Well, I should go file the report, then.
Wait, Charles.
You don't have to go.
If you're willing to go out on a limb for my--
For our family,
then I should be able to do that for you.
And I'm sorry. Okay?
Okay.
Thanks for meeting with me, Mr. DuPont.
Like I said, I wanted to have this conversation in person.
Not at all, Mr. Jones. How can I help you?
I wanted to talk to you about the first book in the Baxter Brothers series.
What about it?
You didn't write it.
Pardon me?
I found a short story that my grandfather had written
in an old Riverdale High literary magazine.
It has a lot, actually, of the same elements
and it was published years before the first Baxter Brothers book.
I assure you, Mr. Jones, I wrote the first five books myself.
No, sir. You wrote Books 2 through 5.
The first one was written by my grandfather.
That book has the same tone as his short story.
It has his syntax, it has his voice.
Let me stop you right there.
Do you know what the worst thing you can accuse a writer of being?
A plagiarist.
And based on what?
A story written by some bottom-feeding dropout
in a third-rate school's so-called literary magazine?
-The text doesn't lie. -I'm not a thief.
But your father, the sheriff?
He's a thief.
Oh, yes. And much, much worse.
A vagabond.
What is it with you people?
You're given an inch and you want the whole field.
For God's sake, do you know who the hell I am?
Do you know what the Baxter Brothers franchise means to Stonewall Prep?
It built Stonewall Prep.
I built Stonewall Prep.
The record deserves to be set straight.
Get out of my sight now,
while I am still willing to forget that you had...
the audacity to summon me.
You're very lucky...
I don't take you to the headmaster and get you expelled
for this vicious and slanderous attack.
Now get out.
[bell jingles]
It's open seating.
Specials are on the board.
Actually, I came to have a little chat...
sister to sister.
Let me guess, Daddy sent you?
One last valiant tactic to get me back into the family fold?
You're very smart, Veronica.
You don't know our father as well as you think.
There is literally nothing you could tell me about Hiram Lodge
that would surprise me.
My mami was a singer at one of Papi's Miami clubs,
Sala del Oro...
where they met.
-They had a fling. -Mm-hm.
Tale as old as time.
He took advantage of her, she got pregnant, he left her high and dry.
Actually, he took care of her...
until she died,
and then he took care of me.
Papi and your mother are renewing their vows tomorrow,
and they'd like for you to come.
You're kidding.
Come or don't, I'm just the messenger.
Look... you're entitled to your opinion of him.
But the father I know...
there's good in him.
So, piénsalo, okay?
[Cheryl] Clearly, I'm going to have to get the locks changed.
Explain to us, Cheryl,
why is there a chain on the chapel's gate?
I told you, Uncle Bedford, no one's allowed in there but me.
As we suspected, you're clearly having a psychotic break.
-What? -As soon as we have you declared unfit,
we're selling the factory, the grounds, everything.
Get out.
Get out, you parasites!
We're going.
Oh, and we will find out whatever it is you're hiding in our chapel.
[Jughead] You see it, don't you?
It certainly appears to be your grandfather's writing.
It's undeniable.
Mr. Chipping, you have to help me bring this to light.
We have to prove to everyone that Mr. DuPont's a fraud.
Look, I understand that your reputation is on the line
and maybe even your position here at Stonewall.
But it's the truth, Mr. Chipping,
-and-- -Yes, I'll help you.
How could I look myself in the mirror, as a teacher, as a writer if I didn't?
What the hell?
Mom, we gotta go.
What do you mean? Go where?
I don't know, the Five Seasons maybe. But you gotta pack a bag
and we gotta get out of here, at least until things cool down.
-What things, Archie? You're scaring me. -It's the rec center.
Mom, not everyone's happy about what we're doing there,
-and I've made some enemies. -[tires screeching]
Mom, get down!
[automatic gunfire]
[tires screeching]
Hermosa?
What the hell is that?
A painting Papi had commissioned for me.
Papi said to put it in a place of honor.
He said, "Only the best for the apple of my eye."
Of course he did.
I should have known.
You know what?
I was going to tell Papi, as you call him,
that I'd be attending his bogus vow renewal.
But instead, tell him I'll be skipping it.
My mom can roll out the welcome mat for you two rum-sucking leeches if she wants,
but I'm not giving up my space, nor my place in this family.
I'm not giving an inch.
Not to you.
Not ever.
[Hiram] I have to admit, I'm surprised you called, Archie.
Look, there's this criminal working out of the Wipeout Arcade
named Dodger.
He's a loose cannon, he needs to be stopped.
And what did this Dodger do exactly?
He shot at my house, at my mom.
Well, that sounds like a job for FP.
Well, I reported what happened, Mr. Lodge, but Dodger's slippery.
And you know as well as I do,
some things have to be handled another way.
This is about protecting what's left of my family.
Of course.
But I hope you're not suggesting that I commit an act of violence
against this thug.
I am really sorry about what happened to your mother.
But-- Yeah, there's nothing I can do for you, Archie.
[door closes]
Scholars, uh, as you know,
today we will be discussing Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness,
about the loss of a man's moral comp--
Mr. Chipping?
Are you okay?
I'm sorry, Jughead, that I couldn't help you.
-Mr. Chipping! -[body thudding]
Guys...
Call 911! Call an ambulance!
Call an ambulance!
[creaking noises]
Tee-Tee.
Tee-Tee, awaken!
Do you hear that?
I-- I think it's Julian trying to escape from the chapel.
He's escaped.
Uncle Bedford?
I always knew there was a...
A certain sickness in our bloodline.
But this, this is monstrous.
You are going away for a long, long time, Cheryl.
Let go of her, you monster!
You are a sick girl, Cheryl,
and I am taking you to the authorities this instant.
-[gasps] -Maybe I'll save them the trouble.
[Toni yells]
[Cheryl] Tee-Tee.
Hey, how'd it all go?
Smooth as cream, babe.
FP led me right to where he buried the body,
we moved what was left and everyone was appropriately grateful.
-Even Betty? -Even Betty.
That's great.
I love you, babe.
I love you, too.
[Cheryl] Why, Aunt Cricket, whatever can we do for you?
It's Bedford, Cheryl, dear. He didn't come home last night
and I was wondering if you'd seen him.
He said he might come around Thistlehouse.
-Hm. -Why, no, we didn't see him.
Oh. Well, you wouldn't mind if I had a peek around, would you?
Actually, auntie, I would mind.
Unless you have a search warrant from the local constable in hand?
I don't...
but I'll get one.
Good luck with that.
Now, you remember where the door is, yes?
When's Munroe back?
Next week.
Cool.
Crap, Andrews.
What's that?
Holy hell.
Is he dead?
[moaning]
We gotta get him to a hospital right now.
What's going on?
Well, I heard that seminar has been canceled for the rest of the semester
and we're all getting automatic 4.0s on account of Chipping's
fall from grace.
Well, I heard we're getting a new teacher, Celeste Ng.
-I heard Ian McEwan. -Be still my heart.
[door opens]
Hello, students.
I'll be taking over Mr. Chipping's seminar this semester.
I've been told you're the best and the brightest.
I look forward to putting that to the test. test.