1 00:00:01,876 --> 00:00:02,711 [Jughead] "Lynchian." 2 00:00:03,545 --> 00:00:05,547 Adjective to describe something inspired 3 00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:08,258 by the noted American filmmaker, David Lynch. 4 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:13,221 And/or to describe something that is both incredibly macabre and incredibly mundane. 5 00:00:20,770 --> 00:00:24,983 Also, Riverdale's status quo, reaching new depths of perversion 6 00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:28,737 with the discovery of a videotape in which someone wearing a mask of me 7 00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:32,157 is bludgeoned to death by someone wearing a mask of my girlfriend. 8 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:33,825 Hey. What are you guys watching? 9 00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:35,702 Jellybean, you gotta get out of here. 10 00:00:36,327 --> 00:00:37,704 Sorry, this is NC-17 stuff. 11 00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:40,123 Fine. Whatever. 12 00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:42,000 [Betty] Okay. 13 00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:44,836 So, that was dropped off at the sheriff's station 14 00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:47,130 in a bin with all of the other voyeur tapes? 15 00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:51,634 Yeah, but the other tapes were just static shots of people's houses at a distance. 16 00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:53,470 This is clearly an escalation. 17 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:56,139 A recreation of whatever someone thinks happened to me in the woods. 18 00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:59,768 The big questions are, who is doing this and what are we gonna do about it? 19 00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:00,852 Me? Nothing. 20 00:01:00,935 --> 00:01:04,105 No, I'm not getting pulled into some creepy new mystery. 21 00:01:04,481 --> 00:01:07,442 But you can feel free to get sucked into this one, okay? 22 00:01:07,525 --> 00:01:10,236 Could always use an extra set of eyes and ears, little brother. 23 00:01:13,990 --> 00:01:15,992 [Hiram whistling] 24 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,289 You're unusually chipper today, Daddy. 25 00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:24,876 Mija, I just closed a major distribution deal. 26 00:01:25,543 --> 00:01:28,463 As of this morning, I'll be supplying all the rum 27 00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:32,926 for the Grande family's chain of casinos, up and down the Eastern seaboard. 28 00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:35,428 You're doing business with Elio's shady ass again? 29 00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:36,930 All I'm doing is selling rum, mija. 30 00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:40,308 And beating you to a market you hadn't even considered. 31 00:01:40,391 --> 00:01:42,310 I did consider it, weeks ago. 32 00:01:42,393 --> 00:01:46,981 Instead, Red Raven is expanding into a heretofore untapped market, 33 00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:48,149 the college crowd. 34 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:50,944 With an affordable version of our product, Maple Claw. 35 00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:52,904 Good luck with that. 36 00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:05,291 -What's up? -[Fangs] What's up, Reggie? 37 00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:09,254 What's up is I hear you two have some scam going 38 00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:11,464 where you're bringing in some serious bank. 39 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:14,425 -Are you dealing again, Fangs? -No. Are you? 40 00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:15,885 No. That's why I'm broke. 41 00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:18,221 And I want in. On whatever you're doing. 42 00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:20,932 So... what's the scam? 43 00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:28,523 We make tickle videos for a guy named Terry. 44 00:02:28,606 --> 00:02:29,524 Hmm? 45 00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:32,068 And before you assume the worst, it's not sexual. 46 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,988 No clothes come off at any time. It's like an endurance sport. 47 00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:38,825 -And this Terry guy pays you? -[Fangs] Yeah. 48 00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:41,744 And a lot more than dealing. 49 00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:43,663 That's weird as hell, boys. 50 00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:48,751 But... do you think Terry could use a guy like me? 51 00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:56,759 [playing ballad] 52 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:39,677 [Betty] Dear diary, today I fell in love with the boy next door. 53 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:42,597 He has red hair and freckles 54 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:45,600 and a scar on his eyebrow that he got when he fell off his bicycle. 55 00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,563 His name is Archie Andrews. 56 00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:53,024 And he has a dog named Vegas, who is super cute, 57 00:03:53,107 --> 00:03:54,108 but not as cute as Archie. 58 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:55,234 [knock on door] 59 00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:56,653 -Hey. -Hi. 60 00:03:57,237 --> 00:04:00,615 -What are you reading? -Just looking at one of my old diaries. 61 00:04:00,698 --> 00:04:02,450 Ooh, fifth grade. That's juicy. 62 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:06,329 -Mom, seriously? -I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 63 00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:10,166 Oh, honey, you're so grown up. 64 00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:14,420 I can't believe you're gonna be leaving for Yale in a few months. 65 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,131 My precious little girl. 66 00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:20,260 Mom, please do not cry. If you cry, I'm going to cry. 67 00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:21,427 Oh, I'm sorry. 68 00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:28,059 What could you possibly cry about, honey? 69 00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:35,608 You have your whole life ahead of you. 70 00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,072 Three cases, as ordered. 71 00:04:41,572 --> 00:04:45,326 -Your party will be the hit of frat row. -Be a bigger hit if you two came. 72 00:04:45,743 --> 00:04:48,162 You ladies supply anything other than booze? 73 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,332 Ew. Get out of my sight! 74 00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:53,751 Bye! 75 00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:01,050 Honestly, Veronica, what happened to "quality always"? 76 00:05:05,596 --> 00:05:08,016 Oh, great, the cast of Swamp Thing just got here. 77 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:09,892 [Veronica] Welcome. 78 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,812 I don't have any more orders scheduled for pickup, 79 00:05:12,895 --> 00:05:13,980 but can I help you? 80 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:18,401 Actually, little lady, we're just, uh, checking out the competition. 81 00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,320 Jinx Malloy of the Malloy family. 82 00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:23,906 Maybe you gals have heard of us? 83 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:26,868 I'm afraid I canceled my subscription to Trucker's Weekly. 84 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:28,244 That's funny. 85 00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,330 You know what's not funny? 86 00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:33,249 You bitches are cutting into our profits. 87 00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,418 We Malloys have been running 88 00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:38,379 a maple moonshine business for generations. 89 00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:42,800 And one of our most lucrative markets is the college scene. 90 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,845 But, recently, we've been getting wind 91 00:05:46,804 --> 00:05:51,100 of a new product that's eating into our customer base. 92 00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:56,689 "Maple Claw." 93 00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,275 Let's say that's true... 94 00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:02,695 what exactly would you like us to do about that? 95 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,947 -Just pull your product. -[snickers] 96 00:06:05,656 --> 00:06:06,657 I don't think so. 97 00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:10,620 See, I can guess who you boys work for. 98 00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:16,292 And you can tell him that Veronica Lodge and Cheryl Blossom 99 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:18,920 do not back down from a fight. 100 00:06:20,671 --> 00:06:23,091 Now, if you'll excuse us, 101 00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:25,093 we have bottles to fill. 102 00:06:27,011 --> 00:06:28,513 Don't say we didn't warn you. 103 00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:42,110 -What the hell was that? -That was a bluff. 104 00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:45,071 Trust me, Cheryl, this is typical of my father. 105 00:06:45,613 --> 00:06:49,408 Last year, he sent thugs in gargoyle masks to beat up on Reggie. 106 00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:52,703 This year, it's hillbillies who claim to produce maple moonshine. 107 00:06:59,168 --> 00:07:02,171 The good news is, both drop-off boxes, the one at the sheriff's station 108 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,590 and the one upstairs, are under surveillance, 24/7. 109 00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:07,677 So, maybe we can identify the person who dropped off this faux snuff film. 110 00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,846 Well, there's hours of footage. 111 00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:12,723 Does this place have any popcorn? 112 00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:14,725 [kernels popping] 113 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:26,154 [keypad clicks] 114 00:07:34,203 --> 00:07:37,707 -Oh, you gotta be kidding me. -What? Do you recognize someone? 115 00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:41,627 Uh, maybe. But I think I'm gonna check this lead out alone. Is that cool? 116 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,681 Jughead's working late with Charles. 117 00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,100 The videotapes. 118 00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:00,605 Veronica's with Cheryl. 119 00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:04,358 Doing her maple rum thing. 120 00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:07,486 Archie... 121 00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:10,823 why are we here? 122 00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:17,705 I don't know. 123 00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:21,667 But it's nice... 124 00:08:22,501 --> 00:08:23,336 right? 125 00:08:25,796 --> 00:08:28,633 It is, but it's not like we can do anything... 126 00:08:29,383 --> 00:08:31,093 more than this. 127 00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:34,639 What do you mean? 128 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:36,849 We're just hanging out. 129 00:08:42,521 --> 00:08:43,773 I love Jughead. 130 00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:50,029 And I love Veronica. 131 00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:55,243 But this is nice, right? 132 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:29,902 What would you say if you were here, Dad? 133 00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:35,283 Probably something corny, like: 134 00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:36,826 "Follow your heart." 135 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,874 The problem is, I have no idea where it's pointed. 136 00:09:48,796 --> 00:09:50,464 And I don't wanna hurt anyone. 137 00:09:52,341 --> 00:09:53,259 I'm just-- 138 00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:58,222 I'm just missing you a lot. 139 00:10:00,516 --> 00:10:01,767 [school bell rings] 140 00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:05,771 [Jughead] Ethel. 141 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,107 Do you have a moment to talk in private? 142 00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:09,608 Jughead. Sure. 143 00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:12,653 This is so unexpected. 144 00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:16,157 Yeah, what can I say? It's been a pretty weird year. 145 00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:20,244 Hey, I actually wanted to talk to you about some of those creepy videotapes. 146 00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:22,163 You dropped off a couple at the station, right? 147 00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:23,581 I did, yeah. 148 00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:26,917 It was just hours and hours of our house. Nothing new. 149 00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:28,836 There actually was something new on one of them. 150 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,380 It was footage of someone dressed up as Betty 151 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,841 murdering someone dressed up as me with a rock. 152 00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:36,427 -Oh, my God. -You don't know anything about that? 153 00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:38,137 What? No, of course not. 154 00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:41,015 It's just you're the only person with a direct connection to Betty and me 155 00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:42,350 who dropped off a tape. 156 00:10:42,641 --> 00:10:43,476 I didn't. 157 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:45,311 I swear. 158 00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:49,106 I'm just trying to keep my head down and make it out of Riverdale in one piece. 159 00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:51,817 I didn't make any tape. 160 00:10:58,032 --> 00:10:59,033 [Betty] Dear diary, 161 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:01,452 today was the happiest day of my life. 162 00:11:01,535 --> 00:11:03,245 After walking home from school, 163 00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:04,997 little Archie proposed to me. 164 00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:10,670 Of course, I want to marry Archie, but I know we're too young. 165 00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:14,799 So, I told him that he should ask me again when we're both 18 and in high school. 166 00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:16,967 Everything all right, Betty? 167 00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:21,680 Yeah. Sorry, I was just... thinking about... 168 00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:22,890 Simpler times? 169 00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:25,935 Simpler times. 170 00:11:27,311 --> 00:11:29,730 [Honey over PA] Betty Cooper to the principal's office. 171 00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:32,024 Betty Cooper to the principal's office. 172 00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:34,860 -I really hate Mr. Honey. -Likewise. 173 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,155 Wonder what I did this time. 174 00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,742 I'm confused. What is this for? 175 00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:43,327 For the yearbook. 176 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:47,832 You are editor-in-chief, aren't you? Appointed last year? 177 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,377 Um, yes. 178 00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:56,006 In between being attacked by the Black Hood at junior prom 179 00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:59,718 and being hunted by the Gargoyle King before the Farm was raptured, 180 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:04,098 I volunteered to be in charge of the yearbook. 181 00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:05,391 Wonderful. 182 00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:07,601 So... 183 00:12:08,602 --> 00:12:09,520 ticktock. 184 00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:17,570 -So, did you solve the case? -Unfortunately not. 185 00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:19,572 I had a hunch, but it didn't pan out. 186 00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:22,366 But I did have another thought, that maybe our suspect is not a voyeur. 187 00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:23,784 Maybe they're a filmmaker. 188 00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:26,620 Whoever made that video had to know what they were doing, 189 00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,164 and they even hired actors. 190 00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:32,042 Plus, the fact that it's all on videotape, that's the hallmark of a cinephile. 191 00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:33,961 -Let's start at the Bijou theater. -Yeah. 192 00:12:34,044 --> 00:12:36,839 There's also Paramecium Records and Blue Velvet Video. 193 00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:43,012 Okay, that was seriously one of the best videos we've made yet. 194 00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:44,346 Good work. 195 00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:45,681 Especially you, Reggie. 196 00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:47,308 You have a great laugh. 197 00:12:47,975 --> 00:12:48,934 Nice and deep. 198 00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:52,062 Keep this up... 199 00:12:52,688 --> 00:12:54,732 and we're all gonna make a lot of money. 200 00:12:57,693 --> 00:13:00,070 [Reggie] We should go into business on our own 201 00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:01,572 and ditch this Terry dude. 202 00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:02,490 We don't need him. 203 00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:04,408 This is Terry's operation, Reggie. 204 00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:06,452 If we act as our own distributor, 205 00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:09,121 we don't have to cut anyone in on our hard-earned bank. 206 00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,916 We make our own website, put it behind a pay wall. 207 00:13:11,999 --> 00:13:13,792 You know, it's not a bad idea, Kevin. 208 00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:17,838 Look, all you have to do is let Terry down easy. 209 00:13:18,255 --> 00:13:19,632 I'll take care of the rest. 210 00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:22,760 Getting the equipment, recruiting us some new talent. 211 00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:27,348 This is gonna pay for our community college education, boys. 212 00:13:31,685 --> 00:13:32,811 [bell jingles] 213 00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:36,982 I can't believe places like this still exist. 214 00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:39,318 Yeah. Open 24 hours, too. 215 00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:42,279 [man] Can I help you, gentlemen? 216 00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:43,948 [Jughead] Yes, actually. 217 00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:46,575 This is quite the retro vibe you got going on. 218 00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:50,412 -FBI. Can we ask you a couple questions? -Sure can. 219 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:53,249 We assume you know about the videotapes being delivered around town? 220 00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:54,166 Sure do. 221 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,626 Have you heard anything about them? 222 00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:58,003 Any of your customers acting suspicious? 223 00:13:58,462 --> 00:13:59,797 They all act suspicious. 224 00:14:01,048 --> 00:14:02,967 Can we check your records? Who's rented what? 225 00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:05,052 Happy to oblige. 226 00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:06,470 [clears throat] 227 00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:09,056 Old-school. I like it. 228 00:14:09,139 --> 00:14:11,058 Each customer gets a page. 229 00:14:11,475 --> 00:14:15,354 The first column is the date of when they checked out a tape. 230 00:14:15,729 --> 00:14:18,065 Second column is the date they returned it. 231 00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:19,733 [Charles] Who's E. Muggs? 232 00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:24,196 Looks like they rented Friday the 13th 16 times. 233 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,865 Oh, that's Ethel Muggs. 234 00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:27,241 She's one of my regulars. 235 00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:30,536 Well, heck, you may know her. Goes to Riverdale High. 236 00:14:30,911 --> 00:14:32,621 She's a senior, I believe. 237 00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:40,880 Things aren't looking good for your pal Ethel Muggs. 238 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:45,551 I admit that renting Friday the 13th over ten times is excessive, 239 00:14:45,634 --> 00:14:47,177 but it's not a sign of guilt. 240 00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:49,889 I mean, I've seen Eraserhead more times than I can count. 241 00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:53,684 -Doesn't mean I'm the Man in the Planet. -She has a predilection for horror films. 242 00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:55,895 She dropped off a videotape at the station. 243 00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:58,897 You said yourself that she was obsessed with you, Jughead. 244 00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,649 In my book, that makes her a prime suspect. 245 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,109 Charles, I'm telling you, 246 00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:04,695 it finally seems like Ethel is in a good place. 247 00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:08,324 And there's more than a hundred tapes. I don't think she has the bandwidth 248 00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:10,868 or even the equipment for that kind of operation. 249 00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:13,120 Just move on. 250 00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:16,290 [cell phone buzzing] 251 00:15:21,128 --> 00:15:22,004 [beeps] 252 00:15:22,921 --> 00:15:23,839 Cheryl? 253 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:27,426 [Cheryl] You need to get to the Maple Club right the hell now! 254 00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:35,225 Oh, my God. What the hell happened in here? 255 00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:39,563 We were invaded by those mountain men you insisted on provoking. 256 00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,732 -Who, the Malloys? -[Penelope] Yes. 257 00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:44,693 I was sleeping in my secret room behind the office 258 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,320 and heard the door being kicked in. 259 00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:49,031 It's only by the grace of God they didn't find and molest my Mumzie. 260 00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:52,785 Ms. Blossom, I am so sorry this happened to you. 261 00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:56,330 I swear, I'm going to murder my father. 262 00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:06,340 You were out early, mija. 263 00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:08,217 No. 264 00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,761 I was out late. All night. 265 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:15,265 Cleaning up the Maple Club after you sent those hillbilly Malloys to trash it. 266 00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:16,517 What? 267 00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:18,102 I did no such thing. 268 00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:20,229 I would never do business with the Malloys. 269 00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:22,982 They're ruthless competitors. They're dangerous. 270 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:27,111 Did Jinx's boys threaten you? If he threatened you-- 271 00:16:27,194 --> 00:16:30,531 No, no. If you didn't start this, then it's none of your concern, okay? 272 00:16:30,614 --> 00:16:32,199 Do not underestimate the Malloys. 273 00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:36,370 I've tangled with them. Let me help you deal with this, okay? 274 00:16:36,453 --> 00:16:38,455 I'll settle whatever dispute you have with them. 275 00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:40,666 Absolutely not, Daddy. 276 00:16:40,749 --> 00:16:42,793 This is my business, my war, 277 00:16:43,293 --> 00:16:45,087 and I'm gonna win it on my terms. 278 00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:49,007 Besides, if the Malloys are as dangerous as you're insinuating, 279 00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:52,511 you may not be strong enough to go up against them. 280 00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,559 [playing ballad] 281 00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:03,397 [mouthing words] 282 00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:14,283 [humming] 283 00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:27,046 [Betty] Dear diary, today was the best day ever. 284 00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:29,590 Archie asked if I wanted to come over and listen to records. 285 00:17:29,673 --> 00:17:31,175 I said, yes, of course. 286 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:36,972 ♪ We used to laugh with joy ♪ 287 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,519 Turns out the records were his dad's, but they were still pretty cool. 288 00:17:45,063 --> 00:17:46,231 [knock on door] 289 00:17:48,108 --> 00:17:49,735 Archie, what are you doing here? 290 00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:53,363 Kev told me that Honey's making you do the yearbook. I wanna help you. 291 00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:54,281 No. 292 00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:58,744 Arch, you're not helping me with the yearbook, 293 00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:01,330 and that's... not why you're here. 294 00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:05,834 Okay, you're right. 295 00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:08,837 Honestly, I can't stop thinking about you, Betty. 296 00:18:09,546 --> 00:18:11,423 I've tried, but it's impossible. 297 00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:15,677 Archie, we can't do this. 298 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,430 Not here. 299 00:18:18,972 --> 00:18:20,516 Wait, "not here"? So, that means you--? 300 00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:23,018 I can't stop thinking about you either. 301 00:18:25,562 --> 00:18:26,522 So, maybe... 302 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:29,817 -We meet tonight. At the bunker, maybe? -No, not, not-- 303 00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:31,985 Not tonight. Tomorrow night. 304 00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:36,031 So, we have time to think about this... 305 00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:39,743 and make sure it's what we really want. 306 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:40,994 Tomorrow night. 307 00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:45,582 That actually, uh, gives me a little time to do something, finish something. 308 00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:48,210 Okay. 309 00:18:48,877 --> 00:18:50,587 [school bell rings] 310 00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:56,093 Hi, Miss Bell. 311 00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:59,805 As a senior I should probably know this, but does this school have an AV Club? 312 00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:02,307 We do, Mr. Jones. 313 00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:04,852 And can anyone get access to the equipment? 314 00:19:04,935 --> 00:19:07,896 I mean, I assume they have, like, video cameras and VCRs. 315 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:08,814 Oh, yes. 316 00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:12,651 But only AV Club members are allowed to use it. 317 00:19:12,734 --> 00:19:15,445 -Is Ethel Muggs a member of the AV Club? -She's the president. 318 00:19:16,071 --> 00:19:16,905 How funny. 319 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:19,408 You're the second person to ask me that today. 320 00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:23,120 The first was a handsome FBI agent. 321 00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:24,580 Where is he now? 322 00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:26,498 I believe I saw him leaving with Ethel. 323 00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:31,461 Thanks for meeting with me, Terry. Look... 324 00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:34,673 I appreciate all the opportunities you've given me, 325 00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:38,594 but I think it's time that I stop making videos with you. 326 00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:39,845 Why? 327 00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:41,597 You're in your prime. 328 00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:42,931 I just-- 329 00:19:44,224 --> 00:19:46,351 I'm stressed that somehow my dad is gonna find out. 330 00:19:47,644 --> 00:19:51,481 And with graduation and college coming up, I just-- I wanna be done. 331 00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:52,691 That's all. 332 00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:54,359 Okay, Kev. 333 00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:57,196 Okay. I understand. 334 00:19:58,530 --> 00:19:59,948 But if you change your mind... 335 00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:02,159 you know where to find me. 336 00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:14,087 -So, like, we'd be tickling each other? -Exactly. 337 00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:16,089 I don't know, dude. It sounds kind of weird. 338 00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:17,758 It's not, believe me. 339 00:20:18,425 --> 00:20:22,471 And, fellas, we are talking some serious money here. 340 00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:25,557 Maybe if it was like coed, we could be down. 341 00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:28,769 I think that could be arranged. 342 00:20:28,852 --> 00:20:29,853 [Toni] No freaking way. 343 00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:33,523 I'm not letting your mangy Bulldogs paw my girlfriend's Vixens 344 00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:35,442 while she's dealing with a maple crisis. 345 00:20:35,525 --> 00:20:37,235 -She would kill me. -Fine. 346 00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:40,405 If you wanna laugh in the face of cold hard cash, be my guest. 347 00:20:40,864 --> 00:20:42,991 Hold on a second, Reggie. 348 00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:45,118 I have a counterproposal. 349 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:49,122 How about the Vixens tickle the Bulldogs exclusively? 350 00:20:49,456 --> 00:20:53,126 And that way the girls will be in charge, like it should be. 351 00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:57,464 All right, all right! 352 00:20:58,882 --> 00:21:03,136 It is time to choose our first contestant. 353 00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:04,972 [all cheering] 354 00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:10,060 Our first lucky Bulldog on defense is... 355 00:21:10,852 --> 00:21:13,480 Jimmy! 356 00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:18,735 Okay. And the first Vixen doing the tickling is... 357 00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:20,946 Audrey! 358 00:21:23,323 --> 00:21:24,157 Okay! 359 00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:26,910 Let the tickle games begin. 360 00:21:26,994 --> 00:21:28,829 [all cheering] 361 00:21:29,329 --> 00:21:32,040 Audrey, Jimmy, follow me to the Tickle Suite please. 362 00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:35,293 [rock music playing inside pub] 363 00:21:48,515 --> 00:21:49,641 [Hiram] Hunter Malloy. 364 00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:53,979 You threaten my daughter? You hillbilly scum. 365 00:21:56,690 --> 00:21:57,566 Who? 366 00:21:58,608 --> 00:22:00,444 You mean that sweet rum-runner girl? 367 00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:02,112 We tried talking to her. 368 00:22:02,571 --> 00:22:05,449 What can I say? Some tramps need more of a hands-on approach. 369 00:22:05,532 --> 00:22:06,658 -Oh, yeah? -Yeah. 370 00:22:08,744 --> 00:22:10,704 -Okay, I'm sorry! I was kidding. -Face the wall. 371 00:22:11,079 --> 00:22:12,372 Hey, hey, hey. 372 00:22:13,457 --> 00:22:15,167 Don't do it. Please don't do it. 373 00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:17,377 You're Hiram Lodge, right? I know all about you. 374 00:22:17,461 --> 00:22:20,630 Please, we won't mess with you again. We'll leave your daughter alone. 375 00:22:20,714 --> 00:22:22,841 We won't disrespect you again, man, please. 376 00:22:23,341 --> 00:22:24,217 Please. 377 00:22:25,761 --> 00:22:27,846 Thank you. Thank you. 378 00:22:27,929 --> 00:22:30,974 You and your entire clan, you stay away from my daughter and her friends. 379 00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:33,769 -Are we clear? -Yes, sir. 380 00:22:53,371 --> 00:22:54,873 [Hunter] You like that, huh? 381 00:23:00,921 --> 00:23:02,130 Where the hell have you been? 382 00:23:03,173 --> 00:23:04,007 Where's Ethel? 383 00:23:04,466 --> 00:23:05,967 At home, with her parents. 384 00:23:06,051 --> 00:23:07,511 I told you that she's not our voyeur. 385 00:23:07,594 --> 00:23:08,553 [scoffs] 386 00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:11,890 What is this? 387 00:23:12,307 --> 00:23:14,101 We searched Ethel's house, and we found it. 388 00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:18,605 Watch it. Then we can talk about whether you still believe Ethel's innocent. 389 00:23:34,162 --> 00:23:35,413 Mom? Dad? 390 00:23:43,713 --> 00:23:44,548 Daddy? 391 00:23:45,799 --> 00:23:47,259 Oh, my God. 392 00:23:51,471 --> 00:23:52,389 Ow. 393 00:23:53,306 --> 00:23:54,474 What happened, Daddy? 394 00:23:55,433 --> 00:23:56,268 What did you do? 395 00:23:56,810 --> 00:23:57,936 I was weak, mija. 396 00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:02,149 I had one of the Malloy boys in my sights. 397 00:24:02,232 --> 00:24:04,276 I could have taken him out, but I showed mercy. 398 00:24:05,569 --> 00:24:08,488 A weakness of will that I quickly came to regret. 399 00:24:16,079 --> 00:24:17,122 Daddy, it's okay. 400 00:24:19,499 --> 00:24:20,834 I'm always here for you. 401 00:24:27,966 --> 00:24:31,469 [Betty] Dear diary, I hate, hate, hate Cheryl Blossom. 402 00:24:31,553 --> 00:24:33,638 She made Archie kiss her at school today. 403 00:24:33,722 --> 00:24:35,473 She said it's because they both have red hair, 404 00:24:35,557 --> 00:24:36,850 which makes absolutely no sense. 405 00:24:36,933 --> 00:24:38,226 [Cheryl] Lost in reverie, cousin? 406 00:24:38,852 --> 00:24:41,271 Hey, Cheryl. Did you come to drop off your yearbook photos? 407 00:24:41,354 --> 00:24:44,274 Yes. And about that, I'll be needing two pages. 408 00:24:45,358 --> 00:24:46,902 Uh, it's one page per senior. 409 00:24:47,569 --> 00:24:50,197 Yes, and for average humans, that would suffice. 410 00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:54,159 But I'd like to pay tribute to Jay-Jay. 411 00:24:54,659 --> 00:24:56,286 Okay, fine. Whatever. 412 00:24:58,496 --> 00:24:59,581 What's wrong, cousin? 413 00:25:00,207 --> 00:25:01,917 Trip down memory lane gotten you blue? 414 00:25:02,584 --> 00:25:04,044 Cheryl, give it back. 415 00:25:04,127 --> 00:25:05,879 My goodness! 416 00:25:06,588 --> 00:25:08,840 I had no idea how much you hated me back in the day. 417 00:25:11,218 --> 00:25:13,345 And all because I snuck a kiss with-- 418 00:25:15,722 --> 00:25:16,556 Wait. 419 00:25:17,933 --> 00:25:19,392 I was right, wasn't I? 420 00:25:20,227 --> 00:25:23,063 When I said you and Archie were doing more than just pretending to date 421 00:25:23,146 --> 00:25:24,397 -when Jughead was dead? -No. 422 00:25:25,273 --> 00:25:27,734 That was obviously pretend. 423 00:25:30,278 --> 00:25:32,447 -But have you...? -No! 424 00:25:33,782 --> 00:25:34,908 No, we haven't. 425 00:25:39,287 --> 00:25:44,209 But I think a part of me has been in love with Archie for ten years, Cheryl. 426 00:25:45,919 --> 00:25:46,753 False. 427 00:25:47,796 --> 00:25:50,173 You've been in love with the idea of Archie. 428 00:25:51,091 --> 00:25:53,885 The idea of the perfect romance. 429 00:25:54,427 --> 00:25:56,930 But... that wasn't real. 430 00:25:57,514 --> 00:25:58,848 That was fantasy. 431 00:25:59,474 --> 00:26:01,518 But in this town of nightmares, 432 00:26:02,143 --> 00:26:04,938 you and Jughead found each other. 433 00:26:05,939 --> 00:26:06,856 That's real. 434 00:26:08,024 --> 00:26:09,818 That's maybe even... 435 00:26:10,568 --> 00:26:12,237 dare I say, endgame? 436 00:26:13,321 --> 00:26:14,155 Who knows? 437 00:26:15,865 --> 00:26:18,368 People stray, it happens. 438 00:26:19,619 --> 00:26:20,620 The trick is... 439 00:26:22,038 --> 00:26:24,082 stop straying before anyone gets hurt. 440 00:26:24,582 --> 00:26:26,876 Or even better, stop before you even start. 441 00:26:31,089 --> 00:26:33,091 [oldies playing over speakers] 442 00:26:34,342 --> 00:26:35,635 [bell jingles] 443 00:26:39,764 --> 00:26:40,640 What the hell? 444 00:26:41,182 --> 00:26:43,893 -You've been a naughty boy, Kevin. -Terry? 445 00:26:43,977 --> 00:26:44,936 You lied to me. 446 00:26:45,687 --> 00:26:47,689 You weren't getting out of the tickle business. 447 00:26:47,772 --> 00:26:49,482 You were setting up your own shop. 448 00:26:51,151 --> 00:26:52,736 We don't wanna make trouble. 449 00:26:53,361 --> 00:26:54,362 You already did. 450 00:26:56,573 --> 00:26:57,407 So... 451 00:26:58,325 --> 00:26:59,492 [Kevin groans] 452 00:26:59,576 --> 00:27:01,161 ...here's how you're going to fix this. 453 00:27:01,578 --> 00:27:05,707 You and your buddies will give us 40 percent of your profits. 454 00:27:07,876 --> 00:27:09,336 I'll have to talk to my partners. 455 00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:11,963 [whimpers] 456 00:27:15,383 --> 00:27:16,843 Forty percent. 457 00:27:18,219 --> 00:27:21,681 Or you'll never tickle anyone ever again. 458 00:27:22,849 --> 00:27:24,851 Okay, okay. Terry, I get it. Jeez. 459 00:27:39,532 --> 00:27:41,534 [students chattering] 460 00:27:45,538 --> 00:27:46,498 Hey, Ethel. 461 00:27:47,499 --> 00:27:48,458 Got a minute? 462 00:27:49,751 --> 00:27:52,212 This is a sex tape of me and my girlfriend, 463 00:27:52,295 --> 00:27:55,006 filmed without our consent at Stonewall Prep. 464 00:27:55,757 --> 00:27:58,426 And Charles found it while searching your house. 465 00:27:59,094 --> 00:28:00,261 I stood up for you, Ethel. 466 00:28:00,345 --> 00:28:03,139 I believed you. And you had this tape the whole time? 467 00:28:03,681 --> 00:28:06,309 -Where did you even get this? From Bret? -No. 468 00:28:07,394 --> 00:28:10,480 There's a place in the back of the Blue Velvet Video store. 469 00:28:10,563 --> 00:28:11,981 A secret place. 470 00:28:12,065 --> 00:28:14,567 -It's called the Scarlet Suite. -Uh-huh. 471 00:28:14,651 --> 00:28:17,237 And what's in this Scarlet Suite? 472 00:28:17,987 --> 00:28:18,905 Tapes. 473 00:28:19,948 --> 00:28:22,700 Rougher ones, weirder ones, homemade. 474 00:28:23,118 --> 00:28:25,161 Like the voyeur tapes? 475 00:28:25,954 --> 00:28:27,205 And darker stuff. 476 00:28:27,747 --> 00:28:30,166 Like... sex tapes. 477 00:28:30,667 --> 00:28:32,794 Maybe even snuff films, I heard. 478 00:28:34,838 --> 00:28:35,713 That's where this was? 479 00:28:39,008 --> 00:28:41,094 The video was called Ponytail Playmate. 480 00:28:41,886 --> 00:28:43,304 I thought it sounded fun, 481 00:28:43,388 --> 00:28:45,974 but the second I saw what it was, I swear I turned it off. 482 00:28:46,057 --> 00:28:49,060 And I kept it because I didn't want anyone else to get their hands on it. 483 00:28:49,144 --> 00:28:50,687 Please, you have to believe me. 484 00:28:50,770 --> 00:28:52,522 Go to the Scarlet Suite, Jughead. 485 00:28:53,398 --> 00:28:55,233 You'll find what you're looking for. 486 00:28:58,445 --> 00:29:00,238 [Kevin] Shut everything down, ASAP. 487 00:29:00,321 --> 00:29:01,406 We can't. 488 00:29:01,990 --> 00:29:03,658 Our videos are already uploaded. 489 00:29:04,033 --> 00:29:05,410 And we're a hit, bro. 490 00:29:05,702 --> 00:29:07,287 A big, fat, stinking hit. 491 00:29:07,370 --> 00:29:09,038 Then we need to give Terry a cut. 492 00:29:09,122 --> 00:29:10,749 -No. -Just a taste. 493 00:29:10,832 --> 00:29:12,917 No way. This is our thing, not his. 494 00:29:13,752 --> 00:29:15,420 And I know how to handle Terry. 495 00:29:15,962 --> 00:29:17,672 All I need you to do 496 00:29:18,298 --> 00:29:20,508 is set up a meeting with him at the Five Seasons. 497 00:29:21,301 --> 00:29:23,595 I got your back, bro, trust me. 498 00:29:26,890 --> 00:29:27,724 [bell jingles] 499 00:29:27,807 --> 00:29:29,142 How can I help you fellas? 500 00:29:29,225 --> 00:29:31,853 You can keep out of our way. We have a warrant to search your store. 501 00:29:55,710 --> 00:29:56,544 [Jughead] What? 502 00:29:58,379 --> 00:29:59,631 What is it, Jughead? 503 00:30:00,089 --> 00:30:02,175 Hey, only 18 and over allowed back here. 504 00:30:03,301 --> 00:30:04,385 Where'd you get this? 505 00:30:04,469 --> 00:30:08,139 People come in selling and trading all kinds of tapes. 506 00:30:08,223 --> 00:30:11,935 This is a video of Clifford Blossom shooting his son Jason Blossom. 507 00:30:12,435 --> 00:30:13,770 It's an actual snuff film. 508 00:30:25,365 --> 00:30:26,199 Hmph. 509 00:30:29,494 --> 00:30:31,496 This is making a lot more sense now. 510 00:30:33,998 --> 00:30:35,750 You boys better have my 40 percent. 511 00:30:37,585 --> 00:30:38,753 [whistles] 512 00:30:45,260 --> 00:30:49,055 You know, if you'd asked for 10 percent... maybe. 513 00:30:49,973 --> 00:30:51,516 But you got greedy. 514 00:30:51,599 --> 00:30:53,810 So, here are our terms. 515 00:30:54,769 --> 00:30:55,603 You get zilch. 516 00:30:56,688 --> 00:31:00,859 And if any of your goons so much as touch a hair on my boy Kevin's head, 517 00:31:01,484 --> 00:31:04,988 me and the Dogs will break a lot more than your fingers. 518 00:31:05,071 --> 00:31:07,448 You boys just made a big mistake. 519 00:31:15,623 --> 00:31:17,584 [Cheryl] I'm so sorry about your dad, 520 00:31:17,667 --> 00:31:19,544 but I got into this business for fun. 521 00:31:19,627 --> 00:31:20,879 To do something fun with you. 522 00:31:21,546 --> 00:31:23,381 And it was, for a while. 523 00:31:24,424 --> 00:31:26,885 But some families have rum in their veins 524 00:31:26,968 --> 00:31:29,053 and other families have maple syrup. 525 00:31:29,470 --> 00:31:32,432 And some blood types simply aren't compatible. 526 00:31:34,017 --> 00:31:37,312 In other words, partner, I want out. Effective immediately. 527 00:31:40,732 --> 00:31:41,566 Okay. 528 00:31:49,073 --> 00:31:50,450 [school bell rings] 529 00:31:50,533 --> 00:31:52,118 You asked to see us, Mr. Honey? 530 00:31:54,412 --> 00:31:55,330 I did. 531 00:31:58,041 --> 00:32:01,419 Earlier, I received a troubling phone call 532 00:32:02,253 --> 00:32:03,546 alerting me of a... 533 00:32:04,714 --> 00:32:07,050 clandestine, online tickling ring, 534 00:32:07,884 --> 00:32:11,095 apparently being operated by students from Riverdale High. 535 00:32:11,888 --> 00:32:13,181 You care to comment on this? 536 00:32:13,264 --> 00:32:15,058 Was it some Terry guy who called you? 537 00:32:15,141 --> 00:32:17,685 It doesn't matter who it was, Mr. Mantle. Is it true? 538 00:32:19,312 --> 00:32:21,230 You know what, Mr. Honey? 539 00:32:22,315 --> 00:32:25,234 Yeah... we did produce the videos. 540 00:32:26,235 --> 00:32:29,614 And there's nothing wrong with it because it's just tickling. 541 00:32:29,697 --> 00:32:32,408 -And what we did doesn't break any laws. -[Reggie] Yeah. 542 00:32:32,825 --> 00:32:35,078 And we were all wearing clothes. 543 00:32:35,495 --> 00:32:36,955 Yes, you were, Mr. Mantle. 544 00:32:37,038 --> 00:32:39,457 In fact, some of you were wearing Bulldog jerseys 545 00:32:39,540 --> 00:32:41,959 and Vixen practice uniforms, 546 00:32:42,043 --> 00:32:46,339 putting you in violation of at least a dozen legal and copyright laws. 547 00:32:46,756 --> 00:32:51,386 Not to mention... under my direct jurisdiction. 548 00:32:52,679 --> 00:32:57,725 Which means, I want your degenerate website taken down immediately 549 00:32:57,809 --> 00:33:00,269 before it tarnishes the reputation of this school. 550 00:33:02,105 --> 00:33:03,356 Do I make myself clear? 551 00:33:03,690 --> 00:33:04,816 Yes, sir. 552 00:33:05,525 --> 00:33:06,359 Good. 553 00:33:07,944 --> 00:33:09,153 Now get out of my sight. 554 00:33:19,747 --> 00:33:21,624 [Archie] I wanted to share something with you. 555 00:33:23,876 --> 00:33:24,836 What is it? 556 00:33:26,254 --> 00:33:28,715 It's a song I wrote. For you. 557 00:33:31,509 --> 00:33:33,511 [playing ballad] 558 00:33:42,770 --> 00:33:47,650 [singing] ♪ There's no warning When everything changes ♪ 559 00:33:47,734 --> 00:33:52,363 ♪ You let down your guard And I saw something strange ♪ 560 00:33:52,447 --> 00:33:56,492 ♪ I thought "She's not made for this world ♪ 561 00:33:57,326 --> 00:34:00,580 ♪ And neither am I" ♪ 562 00:34:03,708 --> 00:34:07,920 ♪ 'Cause you make me-- ♪ 563 00:34:08,004 --> 00:34:08,838 Stop. 564 00:34:13,051 --> 00:34:14,051 What? What is it? 565 00:34:14,510 --> 00:34:15,428 -You don't like it? -No. 566 00:34:16,304 --> 00:34:17,680 This-- It's us. 567 00:34:18,181 --> 00:34:19,098 It's us. 568 00:34:20,683 --> 00:34:21,934 I love Jughead. 569 00:34:23,352 --> 00:34:26,314 And you love Veronica, don't you? 570 00:34:28,483 --> 00:34:30,485 But then, what has this all been about? 571 00:34:31,194 --> 00:34:32,195 I don't know. 572 00:34:33,738 --> 00:34:36,699 I don't know, maybe it's because everything's changing 573 00:34:37,366 --> 00:34:38,785 in the next few weeks. 574 00:34:40,078 --> 00:34:43,122 And you and I feel safe with each other. We always have. 575 00:34:43,456 --> 00:34:44,373 I don't know. 576 00:34:46,667 --> 00:34:50,213 But I do not wanna hurt or lose Jughead. 577 00:34:50,296 --> 00:34:52,673 I don't wanna lose or hurt Veronica either. I-- 578 00:34:55,843 --> 00:34:57,512 So, whatever this is... 579 00:34:58,930 --> 00:35:00,056 or it was... 580 00:35:03,684 --> 00:35:04,852 it's just over. 581 00:35:16,572 --> 00:35:18,574 [playing ballad] 582 00:35:24,705 --> 00:35:26,082 [Mary] I love that song, Archie. 583 00:35:26,916 --> 00:35:28,751 Sounds like you wrote it for someone special. 584 00:35:29,544 --> 00:35:30,711 Has Veronica heard it yet? 585 00:35:32,922 --> 00:35:35,383 Uh, no, not yet. It's a surprise. 586 00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:37,176 Well, she's gonna love it. 587 00:35:38,511 --> 00:35:39,637 Hey, Mom. 588 00:35:40,012 --> 00:35:41,180 If it's not too late... 589 00:35:43,099 --> 00:35:45,143 I'm ready to get serious about the Naval Academy. 590 00:35:47,228 --> 00:35:49,230 That's wonderful news, Archie. 591 00:35:53,442 --> 00:35:57,697 And, uh, I know I've been kind of flaky lately... 592 00:35:58,739 --> 00:36:01,117 but I'm all in now, I promise. 593 00:36:01,826 --> 00:36:03,744 It's time for a completely fresh start. 594 00:36:05,288 --> 00:36:07,874 Well, I will call Brooke and tell her the good news. 595 00:36:13,629 --> 00:36:14,463 [door opens] 596 00:36:17,174 --> 00:36:19,468 [Alice] Elizabeth. What are you doing, honey? 597 00:36:19,552 --> 00:36:21,262 Exorcising my demons. 598 00:36:21,971 --> 00:36:24,724 Oh, but these are your diaries. 599 00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:28,978 These are your childhood memories, honey. They're precious. 600 00:36:30,521 --> 00:36:32,106 Well, that's all they are, Mom. 601 00:36:33,357 --> 00:36:34,192 Memories. 602 00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:38,821 Why don't we save this one? 603 00:36:41,073 --> 00:36:44,243 It's okay to keep one, if you want. 604 00:36:49,415 --> 00:36:50,249 Yeah. 605 00:36:51,584 --> 00:36:52,752 Right. One is fine. 606 00:36:54,462 --> 00:36:55,296 Thank you. 607 00:36:59,550 --> 00:37:00,760 [Fangs] So, what's next? 608 00:37:03,804 --> 00:37:04,889 Graduation. 609 00:37:05,765 --> 00:37:06,766 Carnegie Mellon. 610 00:37:07,308 --> 00:37:10,478 So, I got into the University of Pittsburgh. 611 00:37:13,189 --> 00:37:14,023 You did? 612 00:37:16,067 --> 00:37:18,444 You wanna go there? Why? 613 00:37:18,527 --> 00:37:20,655 Because they gave me a scholarship. 614 00:37:21,948 --> 00:37:22,823 And... 615 00:37:24,116 --> 00:37:26,744 because it's close to Carnegie Mellon. 616 00:37:29,163 --> 00:37:33,709 I wonder what it'd be like for us to date somewhere that's not in Riverdale. 617 00:37:34,377 --> 00:37:35,378 Yeah, I've been... 618 00:37:37,255 --> 00:37:38,839 I've been wondering that, too. 619 00:37:39,757 --> 00:37:40,591 And... 620 00:37:41,842 --> 00:37:42,760 maybe we find out. 621 00:37:44,762 --> 00:37:45,805 Yeah, maybe we do. 622 00:37:48,849 --> 00:37:49,725 Mmm. 623 00:37:50,309 --> 00:37:51,143 So... 624 00:37:52,061 --> 00:37:54,981 do you think Reggie was right that it was Terry that called Mr. Honey? 625 00:37:55,648 --> 00:37:56,524 Probably. 626 00:37:57,733 --> 00:38:01,195 I mean, how else would Mr. Honey find out about a clandestine tickling ring? 627 00:38:04,865 --> 00:38:05,783 [man] Sorry, Holden. 628 00:38:06,284 --> 00:38:09,662 The Scarlet Suite's closed until further notice. 629 00:38:10,955 --> 00:38:13,749 -What happened? -The FBI raided me. 630 00:38:14,792 --> 00:38:17,628 All my contraband's been confiscated. 631 00:38:18,212 --> 00:38:19,964 I was just released myself. 632 00:38:21,590 --> 00:38:23,259 I'm sorry to hear that, David. 633 00:38:25,845 --> 00:38:26,762 Well... 634 00:38:28,431 --> 00:38:29,974 it's probably for the best. 635 00:38:38,232 --> 00:38:40,401 I must admit, I'm surprised. 636 00:38:41,444 --> 00:38:45,239 I know it's been a while since I last came to you asking for money, 637 00:38:46,198 --> 00:38:49,076 but this will allow me to buy Cheryl out of the maple rum business. 638 00:38:49,994 --> 00:38:52,663 You refused my help numerous times, as I recall. 639 00:38:53,289 --> 00:38:57,209 Yes. But the reasons I didn't wanna get into business with you 640 00:38:57,293 --> 00:38:59,545 were your... immoral ways. 641 00:39:00,129 --> 00:39:03,799 What happened when you spared that Malloy troll... 642 00:39:04,967 --> 00:39:06,677 you said it revealed that you were weak. 643 00:39:07,428 --> 00:39:10,056 But I think it did the exact opposite. 644 00:39:10,139 --> 00:39:13,559 It took strength for you to not go back to your old habits, 645 00:39:14,018 --> 00:39:15,353 and I'm proud of you for it. 646 00:39:31,994 --> 00:39:34,038 I shouldn't have gone after one of your sons, Jinx. 647 00:39:36,582 --> 00:39:37,666 It was out of line. 648 00:39:38,250 --> 00:39:40,795 Hiram Lodge, you ought to know by now. 649 00:39:42,546 --> 00:39:44,632 You never turn your back on a Malloy. 650 00:39:47,468 --> 00:39:48,427 Lesson learned. 651 00:39:52,306 --> 00:39:57,603 It showed me that you have finally, truly turned over a new leaf. 652 00:40:00,147 --> 00:40:01,190 I have, mija. 653 00:40:04,652 --> 00:40:07,905 And might I add, it's a pleasure doing business with you again. 654 00:40:13,619 --> 00:40:17,665 -It was actually called Ponytail Playmate? -Yeah. 655 00:40:19,250 --> 00:40:22,461 Just when we thought Bret Weston Wallis couldn't be any more of a creep, huh? 656 00:40:22,545 --> 00:40:23,921 [cell phone buzzing] 657 00:40:25,589 --> 00:40:26,590 Cheryl's calling me. 658 00:40:28,217 --> 00:40:29,093 [beeps] 659 00:40:30,094 --> 00:40:30,928 Hello? 660 00:40:33,639 --> 00:40:34,849 Yeah, I'll be right there. 661 00:40:35,808 --> 00:40:38,185 Cheryl just got sent another tape. She wants me to come over. 662 00:40:38,686 --> 00:40:39,937 Oh, wow. 663 00:40:40,396 --> 00:40:43,232 Well, I know you swore off mysteries, but-- 664 00:40:43,315 --> 00:40:44,150 No. 665 00:40:45,651 --> 00:40:46,652 I'm in. 666 00:40:47,486 --> 00:40:48,320 Well, well. 667 00:40:49,196 --> 00:40:50,990 Dream team back together again. 668 00:40:54,660 --> 00:40:56,453 It was sitting on my doormat when we got home. 669 00:40:57,037 --> 00:40:59,790 We thought it was gonna be like the other tapes at first. 670 00:41:26,192 --> 00:41:27,193 Why me? 671 00:41:28,235 --> 00:41:29,695 Why are they coming after me? 672 00:41:30,154 --> 00:41:31,530 It's not just you, Cheryl. 673 00:41:32,490 --> 00:41:33,449 I got one, too. 674 00:41:34,617 --> 00:41:36,285 I have a feeling we're only the first. er tapes at first.