[Jughead] Our old-pal-turned-superstar, Josie McCoy, had come and gone.
Leaving us all to our haunted existences.
No one more so than Archie Andrews.
The guilt over the deaths of his platoon members
hanging on him like a shroud.
Veronica Lodge was also being haunted
but by a flesh-and-blood mistake from her past.
[video chat chiming]
[Veronica sighs]
What, Chad?
I have some great news.
I'm gonna be able to pay back the funds I borrowed in one fell swoop.
I've been working on a little something-something quietly,
but it's about to go public, and with that comes a big payday.
[scoffs] Considering you always screw things up?
No, Chad. I don't want or need your help.
At the rate Pearls and Posh is going,
I'll have our investors' accounts restored in a month.
At which point, I'll divorce your ass so fast, your head will spin.
Goodbye, Chad.
Brothers and sisters, thank you for joining us today.
To conclude, Brother Kevin and I will be performing a medley
from the iconic musical Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.
-Stop. -[dramatic music playing]
I have just had a revelation.
Okay.
Jason himself commands it.
No more singing.
Really?
As you know, he was a young man of few words.
Hi, uh, my name is Jughead Jones,
and I am seven days sober.
-[man 1] All right. -[man 2] Good job, man.
I think I'm ready to start my apology tour.
[knocking on door]
-Hey, Alice. -Hey, Jughead.
Uh, Betty's not here.
She's, um, working the Lonely Highway, doing God knows what.
That's okay.
-Will you tell her I stopped by? -Sure.
[indistinct chatter over TV]
You guys seen this crap? The front page of today's Brave and True.
General Taylor is retiring with full honors
and a 21-gun farewell salute.
Doesn't that burn you after the crap he pulled?
-You said Taylor was under investigation. -He was.
A reporter was looking into some dirty missions
the general orchestrated, like ours, Eric.
I called her. Her editor killed the story. Not enough evidence, she said.
Maybe take that as a sign, sarge. Let it go. Move on.
Like hell.
[Weatherbee] You've missed weeks of work.
You didn't even arrange for a substitute.
I know. I'm sorry, Waldo.
I really am. I...
I was going through some intense personal stuff.
I'm trying to get my life back together.
When you do, maybe we can have you teach again.
But right now, you're on administrative leave.
[phone rings]
Pearls and Posh, this is Lodge.
Ms. Lodge, this is Diane Nelson. I'm an agent with the SEC.
We'd like to schedule a time to come in and review your books and finances.
Oh, why is that?
To ensure that Pearls and Posh is not engaged in any financial malfeasance.
-Can we plan on tomorrow? -Uh...
Ooh, I'm traveling tomorrow.
Can we try top of next week?
Sure. Top of next week is good.
I'll follow up with an e-mail.
Great. See you then.
The SEC wants to look at our books, which are not yet kosher.
Yes. It had to have been Chad who tipped them off.
Wouldn't he be torpedoing himself too?
What he wants is for me to ask for his help,
so he can balance our books before the SEC reviews them.
I'd rather go to white-collar jail than do that.
What we need is an influx of cash.
My mind turns to... [snaps fingers] my father.
What? Like a short-term loan?
Remember those escaped prisoners
who were convinced my father had a stash of palladium?
-Mm-hm. -If we got our hands on that,
we could sell it,
and finish repaying what Chad stole in my name.
If it was in his safe, he would've moved it, but...
I have an idea who might know where.
Your old man's been in touch with Hermosa.
She's still in deep with him.
-I'll call her. -Actually, uh...
Let me.
While you were at Barnard...
we had a thing.
-What kind of thing? -You-- You know what kind.
You know what kind. Okay.
[line rings]
Hey, baby.
Long time no talk.
Yeah.
I miss you so much.
Why does my demon of a mother always have to rain on my parade?
You're young, beautiful and a star. And she isn't.
Which is why you need to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt
that there is no higher authority than you within this ministry.
You're not wrong.
So how do we put Mumzie in the shade forever?
It's all about showmanship, Cheryl. You need to upstage your mother.
Little-known fact:
If you perform three miracles, you qualify for sainthood.
Being canonized has always been one of my life goals. Go on.
In junior high, I was obsessed with David Copperfield.
The magician. So...
I may have a trick or two up my sleeve.
Oh, I hope you have at least three, Brother Kevin.
I need my halo and my wings.
That was some call, Reggie.
How's Hermosa doing?
A better question:
Did she just tell me where the palladium is?
The answer is yes.
You're carrying a heavy weight, Archie.
It's not gonna get lighter unless you share the burden, so...
What happened over there? Ready to tell me?
[explosions and gunfire]
[dramatic music playing]
We were ordered into a fire zone to deliver medical supplies to civilians.
But that mission was just a cover-up.
General Taylor was determined to take down a warlord controlling that region.
A chance to get that final star on his uniform.
When he gave me the order, I pushed back.
I told him we weren't a strike force and that it was a suicide mission.
Taylor didn't back down, so I-- I caved.
And we were lambs to the slaughter. My platoon got caught in some trenches.
We needed air support.
We couldn't get any signal.
Someone needed to reach higher ground, so I told my men that I would go.
I thought I was protecting them because I was taking the risk.
-And when I got back... -[explosion]
[explosions and gunfire]
...everyone was dead.
Aiden? Aiden?
Except Bingo.
Who died before the choppers reached us and Eric, who lost his leg.
And now Taylor is walking away with honors.
That's not right.
-That's not right, Uncle Frank. -I know it's not.
But the Army's just gonna circle the wagons around the general.
I wish I could tell you this is a war you could win.
-But I don't know that it is. -Maybe not.
But it's a war worth fighting.
And I'm gonna do everything that I can to take Taylor down.
[Reggie] Lucky your father didn't change all the security codes after he fired me.
Lucky that he doesn't keep his palladium in a bank.
[suspenseful music playing]
Jackpot.
We have to give Hermosa a cut of whatever we make.
But if we can sell the palladium off-market,
our profits should be enough to fill in where we're short.
Question is, how do we sell it?
Well, first, we'd have to smelt the palladium
down into something new and unrecognizable.
I'm thinking Spanish doubloons.
Then I'll host an auction, but for that to work...
there's one more person we need to bring in.
[Veronica] What do you think?
I think that one can never have too many spider brooches.
-So, yes, I'll help you, Veronica. -Perfect.
As I said, I'm hosting an exclusive by-invitation-only auction.
The centerpiece of which will be some palladium doubloons I've acquired.
My guests have been asking about the palladium's origins,
and I wanna say that it came from your mines.
Not a problem. I'm always happy to let you name-drop my family
in order to screw over your father.
Now, if that's all, I'll be on my merry way.
Kevin and I are performing our first miracle.
[cell phone buzzing]
-Hey, Samm. -Finally!
You've been ducking my calls.
-Yeah, no, sorry. I've been-- -Save your excuses.
The publisher is demanding a manuscript ASAP.
If you don't deliver, you will be blackballed.
Your career will be over. Over!
I have pages. I'll send them to you by the end of the day.
This is your last chance, kiddo. Okay?
Don't disappoint me.
[Jughead] Hey, so--
Before you say anything else, I just-- I wanna apologize.
I promised to keep an eye on you while you were tripping,
and the moment things got weird, I just...
-I abandoned you. -You didn't do anything wrong.
I never should have even put you in that position.
And I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry I dropped off the face of the earth.
And that I made you worry. I'm sorry for everything, really.
It's okay.
I forgive you.
Great. So...
not to relive that horrible night,
but I dimly recall writing something
that resembled a novel before I yanked my hand out of the handcuffs.
Jughead, you did write your book that night.
I did? Okay, well, that's great.
-You know where it is? -Yeah, um...
Betty gave it to Jessica
when she asked for it.
Wh--
Why would Betty--? Why would she do that?
Jess was trying to heal and move on with her life,
so it seemed like the right thing to do at the time.
-Wow, okay. -I'm really, really sorry.
But, Jughead, your sobriety is what's most important right now.
I don't think you should reach out to Jessica. That could be triggering.
And if writing is gonna stress you out,
then maybe ask your agent for another extension.
I don't have any more time, Tabitha.
I either write something new, or I am not a writer anymore.
If I ever was.
Instead of my usual homily,
I thought today we might all benefit
from a demonstration of my absolute authority in this ministry.
To that end, as Jesus once changed water into wine...
Jason has granted me
the ability to turn water into...
maple syrup.
The nectar of the gods.
Truly.
-General Taylor. -Sergeant Andrews.
I take it you're not here to congratulate me.
No, sir. We both know the truth, general.
You sent me and my men into a war zone without adequate support or intel.
Because of your recklessness, good men died.
You're dishonoring the military by pretending to be some kind of hero.
So...
I'm asking you, soldier to soldier, to stand down and retire quietly.
"Soldier to soldier"?
You're just a kid from some Podunk town who joined the military on a whim.
You might as well have gone backpacking through Europe.
You don't understand the Army or how it works,
and you certainly don't know what it means to be a real soldier.
Don't cross me. You will regret it.
My men paid for your order with blood.
If you don't step down, general, I'll demand a military tribunal.
I'll tell them everything.
Then I'll be forced to put forth my version of events.
Highlighting how you, Sergeant Andrews, went rogue
and led your platoon directly into an ambush.
There's no paper trail to support your claim.
So, as I said before,
it's my word against yours.
Pursue this and you'll be a traitor.
No.
You're the traitor, general. I buried good men because of you.
I won't bury the truth any longer.
Regardless of the consequences.
Taylor left us no choice.
He won't back down, so we need to take him out.
I don't know, sarge.
A trial would reopen wounds,
especially for the families of those other guys.
We have to think about them and what they would want us to do.
So let's say this, I won't go after the general
unless I have the support and the approval of our platoon's families.
How does that sound?
[dramatic music playing]
Would you mind reading my novel?
If you like it, maybe you could give it to your agent?
[woman] My son trusted you and you didn't protect him.
And now you expect us to go through a trial
to relive his death all over again.
Ma'am, I know what Travis stood for, what he believed in.
He fought for ideals like truth and justice,
for betterment and human dignity.
He sacrificed his life for those things.
Let me ask you, do you sleep soundly at night, sergeant?
Because I don't.
Not since the moment...
I received that folded-up flag.
Know why? Because you were supposed to bring my Travis back to me.
-[gavel bangs] -Now, for the main event,
a collection of doubloons smelted from grade-A palladium,
excavated from the Blossom mines.
With that in mind, let's begin at 150,000 to the gentleman in the fedora.
Do I have 170? One hundred seventy. Nope. One hundred eighty.
No, 190,000 to the madam in the front row. Shall we go to two?
Two hundred thousand to Mr. Sand. Do I have 225?
Do I have 250?
Two fifty. Two seventy-five.
Two ninety against you, Mr. Sand. Three hundred thousand.
That's $300,000 for these precious doubloons.
-Going once. Going twice. -[gavel bangs]
Sold to Mr. Sand for $300,000.
What a coup for such rare wonders.
Excuse me.
It's almost as if you wanted to sell those doubloons to Mr. Sand for less,
so I wouldn't get the palladium.
But that would be so petty and ridiculous of you, wouldn't it?
In fact, that's exactly what I did, Daddy. Next time, don't crash my auction.
I never wanted Jim to join the Army.
I was afraid he wouldn't even make it through basic training,
but he really believed that he had a duty to protect and serve his country.
That there was no greater honor than that.
There isn't. No.
Jim knew what he was fighting for.
I remember I was incredibly relieved
when he started sending me letters about you.
About the kind of leader you were. So yes.
Whatever you feel is right, you should do.
You have my full support.
[Kevin] You've already witnessed one miracle.
Now, brothers and sisters, watch in wonder
as Cheryl manifests the collective pain of our congregation.
Behold her alabaster hands,
how they bleed with the blood of the stigmata.
Mimicking the holy wounds of Jason!
[congregants murmuring]
[Cheryl gasping]
[Archie] Ma'am?
I'd like to honor your husband's memory by having General Taylor answer
for his actions.
But I'd like to do so with your consent.
To be honest, I've made peace with what happened, Sergeant Andrews.
I loved Aiden more than anything.
We were high-school sweethearts, but...
my son is my focus now.
I need to start thinking about his future.
I'm trying to make it through the day and even that's a struggle.
So I leave it to you, sergeant.
[baby cooing]
Ma'am.
You do what you see fit.
[dramatic music playing]
Who knew spreading light and love could be this exhausting?
Yeah, it's the Broadway grind.
I got a list of potential third miracles,
although my strong preference is that we do the staff and the snake trick.
Those snakes are unquestionably biblical,
I already know what I want my third miracle to be.
Do you remember when I got revenge on Mr. Honey years ago?
When he tried to ban my back-to-school party?
Yeah. But, Cheryl, bees are not in my repertoire.
I'm highly allergic.
Fear not, Kev. As a girl, Nana Rose was an avid beekeeper.
She taught me all her apian secrets.
Okay.
[video chat chiming]
-What do you want, Chadwick? -I just got wind of your auction.
It pains me to see you so desperate for funds.
So I'm double-checking.
Are you sure you don't want in on my amazing deal?
Surely you've heard of CopterCab.
The helicopter taxis that fly 1 percenters to Marcia's Vineyard for private parties?
-That's you? -It is.
I'm more of a silent partner.
So do you want in or not?
Your father's also working with me.
I killed it at my auction.
So much so that all of your swindled investors are paid in full.
Just in time for the SEC.
So, no,
I don't want in on your little scheme.
Well, listen, CopterCab's going public, and we're celebrating at your father's HQ.
Why don't you come by, blow off some steam?
You know what? I might just do that.
-Text me the deets, will you? -Happy to.
And we'll toast to the future.
Looking forward to it.
Goodbye, Chadwick.
You're partying with that smug nitwit? What am I missing?
Me, Reggie.
You're missing the old me.
I've been playing defense, reacting to Chad's every move.
Well, now that I don't have to worry about the SEC,
it's time I go on the offensive and take Chad Gekko
off the chessboard of my life once and for all.
And if Daddy gets caught in my crosshairs, so be it.
[dramatic music playing]
Damn. It's good.
[line rings]
[Samm] Hey, Jones.
Hey, I finished the novel.
Not a chapter, not a draft,
I mean, the whole thing.
It is about a budding young writer at NYU
just making their way through the world, having a lot of sex and partying.
Sounds terrific.
Send it to me ASAP.
Yeah, okay.
Uh...
Keep an eye out for it.
["Another Night" playing]
♪ You should have called me last night ♪
♪ Two days again ♪
♪ Are lost like leap years tonight ♪
♪ I'm caving in ♪
[cell phone buzzing]
♪ And what do I say to you? ♪
♪ What could I say to you? ♪
♪ What should I say To keep you on my side, man? ♪
♪ I can't go on like it ♪
♪ I won't go on like it ♪
♪ I can't go on like it's all in my mind ♪
♪ 'Cause I don't wanna be Working another night ♪
♪ And I don't wanna be wasting your time ♪
[Eric] You're really going through with this?
Telling our business to a military tribunal?
There's no easy path through this, Eric. So I'm doing what feels most right.
Going on behalf of myself and the families that want me to advocate
for their brothers, their sons, their fathers.
-I hope you'll go with me. -You don't understand.
You weren't the only grunt Taylor brought into his tent because of that mission.
He said it was gonna be our moment of glory
and that there'd be a big promotion in it for me.
All I had to do was what I was trained to as a sniper.
Find a clear line of fire and take out that warlord.
In our briefing, General Taylor said
our target was the only thing that mattered.
But my platoon's safety should have been my top priority.
We were vulnerable. And I knew it.
And when you went in to call for support, I left our unit unprotected
to carry out Taylor's orders.
[dramatic music playing]
And I gotta tell you, sarge,
part of me thinks that that's why I lost my leg.
As punishment for how I betrayed you and the others.
No, you didn't do anything wrong. I'll keep you out of it, Eric. I swear.
You were used by the general the same way I was.
But you're done fighting, corporal. Let me bring this home for you.
It'd be my honor.
Behold Cheryl Blossom as she prepares her third
and final miracle,
-the taming of the bees. -[bees buzzing]
Witness as her purity keeps her porcelain skin safe
-from these vicious, spiteful creatures. -[Penelope] This is nothing but a farce.
I pray ye, do not fall victim to her deceit.
For if ye do, this ministry shall become nothing but a sham.
Brothers and sisters, we find ourselves at a crossroads.
-Allow me to be your guide. -Do not listen to this heretic.
Who are you going to put your faith in?
Cheryl, who shared the womb with Jason the Divine?
Or her mother, a whoremonger, an escaped convict?
Lies. Lies, all of it!
[Cheryl] Mother, enough!
Begone from my temple...
or I will smite thee.
For I am Cheryl Blossom,
Queen of the Bees.
You look ready for action.
I feel like I'm about to be walking into a firing squad.
Taylor should be worried. You tell the tribunal the truth.
[Eric] And I'll be there to back you up.
Eric.
You don't have to do this.
I couldn't sleep, thinking I left my brothers high and dry once.
I won't desert you again.
I wanna testify. Don't even try to talk me out of it.
Wouldn't dream of it.
[door opens]
Boys, we did it.
In one hour, CopterCab will be the publicly-traded future
of aero-entertainment and we will be richer men.
Cheers.
[all laugh]
[Veronica] Amen to that.
[Chad] Veronica.
-What is this? -Oh, Chadwick.
If you're gonna be one of the big boys, you need to party like a big boy.
Isn't that right, Daddy?
So I invited some good-time girls. I hope that's all right.
Differences aside, CopterCab is a brilliant business idea, Chad.
And for the first time in a long time, you've impressed me.
Hm.
[pop music playing]
But for now, who wants some bubbly?
[girl] Cheers.
♪ I'm up to no-good ♪
Uh, your mom tells me you're working on the Lonely Highway?
Yeah. By dressing like Polly and pretending to be a hitchhiker.
Is that safe?
Probably not, but I'm running out of ideas, so...
What'd you wanna talk about?
Um...
I wanted to apologize, actually, for that voicemail that I left you.
I don't remember all of it or...
even most of it.
Um...
But I know it was horrible.
And, uh...
Just-- I'm sorry.
-Why now after half a decade? -[chuckles nervously]
It's one of my steps.
Trying to clean up my side of the track and I...
I'm in recovery, in case it's not obvious.
I'm an alcoholic.
An addict.
I think I'm an addict too.
Maybe a better word is "compulsive."
Because I can't stop hunting for the trucker killer.
I'm on the highway 24/7 when I should be at home with my mom.
-Yeah, but your sister's missing. -No, it's not that. It's, um...
It's more than that. And it's sort of been...
my MO lately.
-What do you mean? -Even when I was at Yale,
I was trying to be a normal... freshman.
Go on dates, make friends, do extracurriculars.
But it just all felt so...
empty.
Classic Cooper.
You solved eight mysteries in high school and you were still valedictorian.
But the void I was so desperately trying to fill
didn't go away when I got to Quantico.
Which is when I...
really realized that...
I am more comfortable...
studying serial killers than I am socializing with normal people.
And, um...
And then I read about TBK.
Trash Bag Killer.
That was, uh...
That was a nasty piece of work.
That's why I wasn't at your book release party.
I wanted to go, but, um...
I got the offer that night and I had to choose, you...
or the TBK task force.
That's all ancient history.
I'm consumed by them.
TBK and the trucker killer.
Betty, I think--
I think you should probably take a break from all that, you know?
-Maybe stop hunting for a bit. -I don't think I can.
[cell phone ringing]
I'm sorry. Can I--?
Just real quick.
-Hey, Samm. -I just finished your book.
It's incredible!
Best thing you've ever written by far.
Uh, I can't do this, Samm.
I didn't write that book.
A grad student named Cora gave it to me to read.
Wait. What are you saying to me right now?
-That there's no novel? -Not even a wisp.
And a plagiarist to boot.
Listen, I know you got some life things going on right now, but, um...
-I'm gonna have to drop you as a client. -Yeah. I figured as much.
You're a good writer, kid. I hope you can pull it together.
Hey, um, I'll send you Cora's info.
I'm sure she'll be thrilled to hear from you.
-Okay. -[line disconnects]
-Sorry, that was-- -[pop music playing]
♪ No, no, no ♪
♪ I've got my mind set Headed for the top... ♪
You really struck a gold mine here. I should have never doubted you.
-I don't know what I was thinking. -You weren't. But that's okay.
'Cause you're here now for probably my finest hour.
Gekko, we have a problem. My Boysenberry's blowing up.
Something's wrong with the CopterCab stock.
It's crashing.
-It's in free fall. -What the hell is going on?
Were you in a helicopter crash that you paid to cover up?
The Wall Beat Journal just published an article about it.
You can't be a part of CopterCab if you crashed a helicopter.
It's a bad look, yes.
Which is why you were a silent partner.
What did you do?
Planted the story with a reporter friend,
then came here to distract you and your entourage
while CopterCab went down in flames.
-Veronica, you little-- -I'm gonna stop you right there, Chad.
Because whatever you think I am doesn't come close to what you are,
which is scum.
A worthless, pathetic, little worm.
You stole money from your investors to what, finance CopterCab?
But what a surprise. In the end, you couldn't pull it off.
[laughs] That's your problem in a nutshell.
You can't land anything.
You'll never be an alpha, Chad.
You're a born beta.
And everybody who invested in this scheme,
you backed a losing horse, boys.
-You too, Daddy. -Oh, please, mija.
I only invested a modest sum in CopterCab.
You may have destroyed these clowns... but not me.
Oh, Daddykins. You're in for a rude awakening.
Later, when you're alone, give your SoDale model another look-see.
I think you'll find that you've lost much more than you realize.
Come on, ladies. Let's get out of here.
This party's over.
[Tabitha] Hey, Jughead.
You okay? I just mentioned "free food" and you didn't salivate.
Yeah, um...
-I'm just worried about Betty, you know? -Yeah.
I can imagine.
But I'm also... worried about you.
And your recovery.
I smelled booze on your breath when you came in.
Yeah, I had a backslide.
Jughead, I know that you wanna help Betty, but you need to focus on you.
She's out there alone.
I'm sure, but don't worry about Betty. I'll take care of her.
Your priority is you.
Okay?
You know I'm a drunk, right?
And I'm a terrible busboy.
-Why are you so nice to me? -Because you're my friend.
And I care about you.
So will you promise me that you'll keep going to your meetings?
Yeah. Yes. Yes, I promise.
Good.
So tell me, what's going on with Betty?
[dramatic music playing]
Oh, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
[phone rings]
Hello?
Yeah, this is Archie Andrews.
Okay.
Understood. Thank you so much. Bye.
That was the JAG officer with the verdict.
Hurry up before I hurl.
"The tribunal has determined that Corporal Eric Jackson
was following the direct and explicit orders
of his commanding officer, and therefore, is not guilty
of any wrongdoing and remains in good standing with the U.S. Army."
What about General Taylor?
His actions were determined to be reckless and of poor judgment.
He was driven by his own self-interest, and therefore, he is being discharged
without honors.
-The Army got it right. -So... it's over?
It's over.
[knocking on door]
-Tabitha. -Jughead told me what you're doing.
And it's dangerous and it's reckless,
and no matter what I say, you're not gonna stop, I know that.
So...
-I'm going with you. -Come again?
I'm getting changed and I'm going with you.
Oh, and by the way, my participation is not negotiable.
You boys did it.
You should be proud.
I am. Proud to have served with the bravest men that I've ever known.
Here's to our fallen band of brothers.
To their service...
to their sacrifice.
Gone but never forgotten.
-Never. -Never.
[sighs] Cheryl, I have to ask.
How did you manage those bees outside the tank?
Did you rub some special insect-repelling ointment
all over your body?
The truth?
Uh...
I didn't have any ointment on any part of my body.
What are you saying?
Something inside me has shifted.
Kevin...
something powerful, something...
I can't explain.
But...
I'm feeling more connected to things than I have in years.
I'm not saying I'm the first-ever living saint...
but what if I am?
What if I, Cheryl Marjorie Blossom...
am the holiest of holies?
Wouldn't that be miraculous?
My name is Jughead Jones.
-[man] Hey, Jughead. -[woman] Hey, Jughead.
I used to be seven days sober, but now I'm back down to one.
Hoping to make it to eight this time.
I'm worried about a couple of friends,
but I'm also trying to accept the things that I cannot change.
And I'm grateful to you all.
[truck horn blaring]
And if there is some higher power, man, I hope it's looking down on them tonight
and keeping them safe.
I don't know why.
I got this really bad feeling about what happens next.
[theme music playing] feeling about what happens next.