There's a town that exists at the borderlands.
A place of nightmares and dreamscapes.
A place where folklore and myth carry the weight of fact and truth.
A place where superstitions and their laws overshadow the laws of science.
And a place where old traditions die hard,
if they die at all.
The name of this place...
is Rivervale.
And though it might seem familiar to you,
like a town you've visited before, I can assure you it is not that same town.
Don't worry. I'll show you around.
First stop, Toni and Fangs' apartment.
A portrait of a couple in distress.
Baby Anthony finally fell asleep?
More like he passed out from exhaustion.
He can't keep going like this, Fangs. He's literally crying 24/7.
Something's wrong.
Look, we'll call Doc Curdle, get Anthony an appointment.
It's gonna be okay. I promise.
Ah.
There she is, Ms. Tabitha Tate.
And that is our real estate agent.
And if I'm not mistaken, those are our--
Here are your keys.
Thank you, Ms. Gordon. We are so excited.
Oh.
So is this your first time living with a beau?
Actually, yes.
I've never taken that step before.
I've always been too guarded, I guess.
Too nervous.
Of course.
This day and age, you can't be too careful.
Let's check in with Rivervale's premier power couple,
Reggie Mantle and Veronica Lodge.
I'm sorry, Mr. Banks, but if you hesitate,
I can't guarantee this opportunity will be here tomorrow.
You'd be getting in on the ground floor of a goldmine, Mr. Lyons.
Yes, that is correct.
A casino, right here in Rivervale.
Exhausting, aren't they?
Let's head over to Elm Street.
The Cooper house, where Alice is doing a lot better,
but her appliances, not so much.
Well, that should clear that up.
-What was it, Frank? More chicken bones? -No, not this time. It was a dish rag.
I have quiche in the oven. Would you stay for breakfast?
Tempting. But let's go next door...
where my old chum Archie Andrews
is living with my ex-girlfriend Betty Cooper.
Let that one sink in for a minute.
And while we're all good friends, I should probably end the tour here
and leave whatever's happening upstairs to your imaginations.
[clock ticking, then explosion]
Arch.
You okay? Was it another nightmare?
-Yeah. Sorry I woke you. -No, it's okay.
Was it a bad one?
It was surreal.
We were hooking up here in my room and we heard this ticking noise.
Mm-hm.
There was a bomb under the bed.
Oh, my God.
That's awful.
Yeah, and the weirdest part, we were living in a town called Riverdale.
Riverdale.
With a D.
Yeah.
Okay, no more Twilight Zone marathons before bed, okay?
Let's make all those bad dreams go away with some early morning delight.
[cell phone ringing]
[groaning]
Kev, what's going on?
Where are you?
[Kevin] I was jogging when I found it.
[Archie] Whoa.
The way the deer's laid out looks...
ritualistic, like it was sacrificed.
And its blood was used to draw these runic symbols all over the stone.
[Archie] Who would do that?
I don't know, but whoever did took the deer's heart.
Okay, uh, never gonna jog here again.
[Cheryl] Nor should you, interloper.
You merry three are trespassing
on the sacred sovereign nation of Thornhill.
Begone from its borders immediately,
or else my pupils will shoot you full of arrows. Like who, girls?
St. Sebastian, Mistress Blossom.
Cheryl, this is a crime scene,
so I need to collect all of the evidence, including the deer.
You will do nothing of the sort.
-We'll assume possession of that carcass. -To do what?
Make a stew from its meat, a pelt from its hide, and paste from its hooves.
That's a little barbaric.
No, you sad, simple she-child.
It's a part of a sacred circle of life and death,
of use, reuse and rebirth,
of paying respect to what the Earth gives us.
All of what she gives us.
Now, leave my land, heathens.
Girls.
Toodles.
I'm afraid Baby Anthony has colic.
Colic?
It's quite common and can last indefinitely.
There might be gas in his intestines causing the discomfort.
What can we do, doc?
Because he's crying 24/7.
It's agony for all of us.
I do know of an old folk remedy.
I'd like to put this toad in Baby Anthony's mouth.
It'll suck the colic right out of him.
Absorb it.
No more crying.
I'm sorry, but there's no chance in hell
I'm letting you put a fricking frog in my baby's mouth.
In that case, the only other recommendation I can make is earplugs.
How many more boxes of comic books do you have?
This is just a fraction.
The rest is still in storage.
I'll be honest with you, Jug. I didn't know you were that into comics.
What can I say? I contain multitudes.
Come on.
[groans]
I really appreciate your help, Betty.
-I hope you don't feel weird being here. -No. Not at all.
Honestly, I'm happy you and Jughead are taking this step together.
Meanwhile, what about you and Archie?
Are you all in?
It's really weird, Tabitha.
Back in high school, one of the biggest questions in my life was...
am I gonna end up with Archie or Jughead?
And now...
it seems like we have a definitive answer.
[Veronica] Today's your lucky day, Cameron.
I'm wondering if you or any of your boys
want to invest in a boutique casino
a colleague and I are opening in Rivervale.
So this is what you've been up to, Veronica.
As usual, the She-Wolf is making lemonade out of lemons.
I don't even know what that means, Cameron.
This casino or whatever is obviously a distraction
until you can come back to New York, where you belong.
As usual, Cameron, you are totally wrong about everything.
I'm all in on the casino and Rivervale.
[computer beeps]
Tell me straight, Ronnie.
Do you want this casino or not?
Of course I do.
Ignore Cameron. He's an idiot.
So it's just not another stopgap till you get your old job back?
Reggie.
I did wanna go back to Wall Street initially,
but now?
I'm having a ball doing this with you.
And I think our casino is gonna be huge.
Everything happens for a reason, lover.
Everything that's meant to be...
finally is.
[Tabitha screams]
Jughead! Spider!
Spider! Jughead!
No. Jughead. Jughead, don't-- Ugh!
Oh, my God, Jughead. I didn't want you to kill it.
I wanted you to take it outside. You never kill a spider. It's bad luck.
Come on. That's just a superstition.
Maybe so, but we just moved in together, and I don't want anything to jinx us.
Tabitha, it's just an itsy-bitsy spider.
What's the worst that's gonna happen?
It's not like we're cursed now.
[gavel banging]
And next on the agenda, we have an update on the town's reforestation plans.
Archie Andrews.
Thanks, Toni.
Basically we're good to go.
As you may know, since Cheryl declared Thornhill a sovereign state,
we've lost our local supply of maple syrup
as well as the revenue it was bringing in.
Aren't her trees tapped out?
They are, Tom,
which is why I proposed we buy and distribute maple saplings.
One per family to be planted in each family's yard.
My crew and I will take point on seeding a grove of maple trees
the town will own.
-Have we secured the saplings? -We just got the shipment.
Frank and I will be setting up a distribution center outside of Pop's.
[townsfolk murmuring]
Riveting.
You might find the discussion underway at Thornhill,
also about maple syrup, more interesting.
[classical music playing over speakers]
[clears throat]
Today...
before we came upon those intruders in my forest,
I was pointing out our precious maple trees.
How dry and lifeless they have become.
I believe our maple groves have withered away because...
we have forgotten the Old Ways.
Ah. The Old Ways.
Before we built our first settlement in Rivervale,
when this area was just land and river and rocks...
it all belonged to her.
She Who Walks Amongst the Trees.
We worshiped her.
We gave offerings to her.
And she provided.
Maple sap, yes.
But also life, in all its beautiful, glorious facets.
Over time, we left the Old Ways behind.
We started taking the Maple Maiden for granted,
and she, in turn, punished us.
All that was once fecund is now barren.
We must again pay tribute to her like our ancestors once did.
We must return to the Old Ways, the blood ways, the pagan ways.
And by hoof and by horn, girls, return we shall.
But first...
we have to go into town tomorrow.
My spies have told me that Archie Andrews is trying to steal my maple thunder.
And that simply will not do.
Yes, Mom. I promise.
Hey.
Okay, yeah. I love you too.
All right, bye.
Hey.
How's your mom?
Honestly? Yeah, she's good.
She says hi
and, uh, she's wondering if we've put any more thought into what she asked
last time she was here.
Arch.
I thought we decided marriage wasn't for us
because everyone we know who's married is either divorced or dead.
No, totally.
She was actually asking about the other thing.
"When am I gonna have a grandkid?" thing.
Mm. And what did you say?
I told her if it were up to me,
I'd want it to happen sooner rather than later.
-Mm-hm. -My dad was a young dad.
Arch, for the record,
I've been dreaming about starting a family with you since, mm...
sixth grade?
But let's just take our time.
There's no rush. We're in our 20s.
Let's keep doing our thing and let nature run its course.
-Yeah. -Like, right now.
[giggles]
[groans] What the hell?
[garbage disposal rattling]
Shades of Creepshow.
One per household. Plant them in your yard.
Make sure there's space for their roots to grow wide and deep, okay?
♪ The horizon's where the starlight... ♪
[Cheryl] Well, well, well.
So it is true.
You are making a play for my maple birthright and empire.
Cheryl, you don't own maple trees or maple syrup for that matter.
I believe every citizen of Rivervale should be able to tap their own tree.
Then I'd like 13 saplings, please.
We can plant them in the Thornhill groves
and they can grow in the shadow of She Who Walks Amongst the Trees.
You seceded, remember?
These saplings are reserved for taxpaying citizens of Rivervale
to be planted in Rivervale.
-Unless you wanna rejoin our ranks? -Rejoin? Rivervale?
After you tried to erase the sins this town
perpetrated against my ancestor Abigail Blossom?
You and I both know there is only one way that will ever happen.
Over your dead body.
No, Archie.
Over yours.
Come along, girls.
I'm afraid, Ms. Cooper, that the test came back conclusive.
You don't seem to be producing any viable eggs.
It will be difficult for you to conceive a child.
Oh, my God.
If it's any consolation, you're not alone in this dilemma.
No, actually, it's not a consolation.
But what are you talking about?
You're the fifth young, healthy woman to come see me who is essentially...
barren.
[Anthony crying]
[groans]
Look. I know if we pick up Baby Anthony
it'll validate his crying, but this is torture.
I was talking to my grandma about Anthony's colic.
She said back in the day,
Serpent mothers would leave their babies on tree stumps
in Fox Forest overnight.
They just left their babies in the woods?
Yes.
When the mothers went back in the morning, the babies were sleeping peacefully.
They'd cried the colic out.
There's no way a Serpent mother would abandon her baby like that.
Well, apparently...
my mom did it to me.
It worked.
Leaving Baby Anthony in the woods, it would...toughen him up.
Just like his mama.
[Veronica] Reginald.
Will you come with me, please?
Surprise!
In case you were worried that I don't appreciate you,
here is cold hard proof that I do value you.
Your bonus, sir.
And, not only that...
there's one thing I've fantasized about doing, but never have.
I've always wanted to make it on a bed full of money.
["Need To Know" playing]
♪ I need to know ♪
♪ I just been fantasizin' And we got a lot of time ♪
♪ Baby, come throw the pipe Gotta know what it's like ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah Oh, whoa, whoa ♪
Bratwurst was delicious as usual.
Thank you, Frank. It's one of my go-to recipes.
Well, I should probably head back home.
Archie and I have a big day of planting tomorrow.
Frank. It's the same thing every time.
I make you a delicious meal and you sprint for the door.
So I'm gonna make this plain as day for you.
I like you, Frank Andrews.
I find you very attractive.
And I would like for you to stay the night with me.
In my bed.
Wow. I am very flattered, Alice.
You are such a beautiful woman.
But I just--
You just what?
I just, uh...
can't go there.
Wow. I don't believe it. When will I ever learn?
I fall for the strong silent type every time.
I've been thinking.
What if we adopted a baby?
Betty.
My dad always used to tell me...
that the most fulfilling thing that he ever did was become a father.
I wanna do that with you.
Every step of the process.
Arch.
You need to believe me when I tell you...
there's nothing more that I want than to have your baby.
Not just for you, but for me.
I love you.
So much.
I want to create a life with you.
I wanna be the mother of your child.
Our child.
Then you will.
It'll happen.
[Anthony crying]
It's okay, baby.
Okay--
-[Cheryl] Bonsoir, Antoinette. -[gasps]
Cheryl, what are you doing here?
I'm just taking in some night air.
What are you doing with that little bundle of babe?
It's a long story. I'm just trying to cure his colic.
I see.
May I?
Okay. Shh, shh, shh.
[Anthony stops crying]
How did you do that?
Must be the calming perfume I concocted in my greenhouse.
The ingredients of which I could mix into a more permanent solution for his colic.
But then you must help me embrace Rivervale's oldest of Old Ways.
Fine.
Just tell me what to do.
Not much.
I just need you to bear witness, and then, per tradition...
everything will be as it should.
-[Tabitha screaming] -Hey, hey.
-What's going on? -Do you not feel them?
-Feel what? -Something is biting me.
Do you seriously not feel like you're being eaten alive?
Well, I'm not seeing any critters in the bed.
Or on us.
-[panting] -Hey.
I was having a nightmare about spiders.
And it felt like the spiders were biting me.
Okay. Well, that's what it is.
You're just having a dream. There's no spiders.
These sheets are fresh. I just got them brand new.
You're okay. You're okay.
Come here.
Jug, don't think I'm crazy, but can you check out...?
Oh, my God, your back.
Your back is covered in welts, bites.
Same as my arms and legs.
I was just about to ask you to check them out.
I told you we were being eaten alive, probably by bed bugs.
-We checked the sheets. -Then it's scabies,
which you can't see with the naked eye, but they are vicious.
We'll wash the sheets with hot water and bleach.
Are you kidding? That won't do anything.
We're infested. I'm calling an exterminator.
[groans]
It's time for arts and crafts.
Take some twine and fabric from the basket, and pass it along.
Today, we are making poppets to honor the Maple Maiden.
-Are the poppets to play with? -[Cheryl] No, Britta.
They serve a myriad of purposes, but these ones will be a warning.
What in the hell?
This is Cheryl 101.
It's gotta be.
Let's dig these out, make room for the saplings.
-You sure you wanna do that? -[Archie] Positive.
Double time, boys.
Hey.
How'd the planting go?
I know that look. What's wrong?
Cheryl.
She impaled these dolls all over the forest,
where we were gonna plant our saplings.
She did? Why?
To spook my crew.
Which she did. They were anxious all day long.
That's so bizarre.
And I feel like I've seen...
-one of these before. -Where?
I've been sorting through evidence boxes at the FBI office,
and I feel like there was a cold case with totems like this one.
Can I borrow this?
-Knock yourself out. -Okay. See you later.
Well, Reginald, what do you think?
These are the finalized blueprints for our casino.
Exquisite, no?
And the best part is, you and I are gonna christen
every square inch of this place.
Well, that's a first.
Question for you, Ronnie.
If the casino was my idea, which it was, and we'd be equal partners,
then how come you forgot to give me an office?
Shoot.
That's a good question. Um...
Let me call the architect, and I'll have them redraw the plans.
It won't be an issue.
Too late. A picture's worth a thousand words, Ronnie.
[cell phone chiming]
Kev, what's up?
I came back to the forest, 'cause I forgot my shovel,
and the saplings, Archie...
What about them?
Someone ripped them out of the ground. They're all destroyed.
-What do you think you're doing, Cheryl? -Archie, calm down.
I know you and your girls left those dolls.
Did you rip up our saplings too?
Why would I, Keeper of the Maple Flame,
murder innocent nascent maple saplings?
You can't stand the fact there might be a time
when Rivervale isn't dependent on your family for maple syrup.
You're out of line.
If I may enlighten you, I requested this audience of the Four
to offer an olive branch.
Specifically, to invite the entire town of Rivervale to Thornhill
for a good old-fashioned Maple Festival.
[Toni] And just so you know, Archie,
we, the council, have accepted Cheryl's invitation on behalf of the town.
-We'll all be there. -[Archie sighs]
[sighs]
[ominous music playing]
"R.B."
Rose Blossom.
[door opens]
Cousin.
How for did you get into my house?
A bobby pin.
But I'm here on official FBI business
regarding that deer you killed in the woods.
You and Archie are just too much.
I mean, I'd be obsessed with me too.
But what makes you think I had a hand in that dreadful business?
So let me put it this way,
that deer was not the first blood sacrifice on Thornhill's grounds,
because 50 years ago, a drifter was murdered on your property,
heart ripped out and poppet shoved down their throat.
What do you want, Betty? Hmm?
I have a Maple Harvest Festival to plan, so can we cut to the heart of it?
[door opens]
You didn't have to walk me home, Frank.
I was hoping that maybe we could talk.
What is there left to say?
How about:
"You're not the problem, Alice, I am"?
Years ago...
when I was a mercenary, I was married.
No one knew.
Not even Fred or Archie.
Because if anyone found out, it'd put my wife and my daughter at risk.
And then, of course, um...
my wife and my daughter ended up, um...
Oh, I'm so sorry, Frank.
Alice...
I want to open myself up to those feelings again.
I just don't know if I'm ready yet. I'm sorry.
It's okay, Frank.
I understand.
But maybe...
Maybe we can go to the Maple Festival together.
Maybe that'll be okay?
There you are. Straight off the griddle.
Delicious, fluffy pancakes to go.
Just what I need for my pancake-eating contest. [gasps]
But what are these welts on your arm?
And sleepless eyes to boot?
Tell me, what demons torment you, Tab Tab?
Turns out, our apartment is riddled with bugs.
Jughead and I are being eaten alive, and we can't afford to move.
And even if we could, I mean, who's to say the bugs won't follow us
now that they're in everything?
Tabitha, methinks I can help.
With an ancient cleansing formula, I could prepare that will take care
of any and all bugs and curses.
-But said formula does come with a price. -What doesn't? I'll pay anything.
If that's true,
I'll need your full participation in all my Maple Festival's events.
But not just yours.
Jughead's too.
If we want our fortunes to turn around for the better,
we all need to be united on this.
Pay close attention for this is a special confection
based on an old family recipe.
Back in the early days, the village priestess used to bake a Sin Pie.
It was meant to contain the sins of the entire town,
and once it was consumed, the sins would be absolved
and the town and her folk would prosper.
Consumed? By who?
Someone chosen.
Someone special and strong enough
to shoulder the weight of the sins of an entire town.
So I was at the FBI office researching this poppet doll that you gave me,
then I paid Cheryl a visit, and she is definitely up to something.
I just don't know what.
I'll tell you.
For starters, she invited the whole town to a Maple Harvest Festival at Thornhill.
And shockingly, everyone wants to go.
I don't get it. Is the world crazy, or am I?
No, you're not.
Something evil is happening at Thornhill with that deer sacrifice,
these little pagan dolls, and maybe even a cold case murder.
When I tried to confront Cheryl about it, she gave me the total runaround.
-But she's planning something. -Thank you.
That is why the festival is a hard pass.
Oh, we're going.
Because while Cheryl is outside playing hostess of the year,
I'll be inside Thornhill doing some old-fashioned snooping.
Then we can get to the bottom of what's happening
in that pastoral house of horrors.
Hey! Get away from me!
[Fangs] Hey, guys.
Hey, Fangs, Toni.
How is this little cutie-patootie doing?
A lot better, actually.
He's had colic, but it's cleared up.
That's good. Did you guys get help from Doc Curdle?
We found our own remedy.
Anyway, um, we're gonna go milk the goat, but it was so nice seeing you guys.
-Yeah, you too. -Good luck today, Archie.
-"Good luck"? What does that mean? -Who knows?
But seeing Baby Anthony just makes me much more excited to make one of our own.
[Cheryl] I see you and Reggie arrived together.
So, which ship name do you prefer?
"Veggie?" "Veginald?"
I'd hold off on trademarking either of those.
What? Don't tell me something already happened.
No, no. We haven't broken up... yet.
But all of his old insecurities started rearing their ugly heads again.
Soon, he'll be comparing himself to Archie, despite all my reassurances.
If you wanna make it clear that you're no longer carrying a torch for your ex,
I may have an idea.
[Jughead] Hey, Archie. Hey.
I need you. Tabitha's been flipping flapjacks for like 18 hours.
Now no one wants to go against me in the pancake-eating competition, so...
Come on. Starts in five minutes.
This is good. If you're competing,
then all eyes will be on you, including Cheryl's.
I'll sneak off and do some sleuthing while you keep Cheryl distracted.
[rock music playing]
-[crowd cheering] -[man] Come on!
And time!
[bell ringing]
-What's the final count? -By my tally,
Jughead Jones, 116 pancakes.
[crowd cheering]
And Archie Andrews, 119.
[crowd cheering]
We have a winner.
You're like a brother to me. I love you.
You know that, right?
Yeah. I love you back, Jug.
Cheryl, you think it's possible?
If you two want a path forward together, unencumbered by the past, then yes.
I believe this is the way.
Perhaps the only way.
-Perfection. -[bell rings]
And just in time for our next challenge.
[rock music playing]
Let's go!
[crowd cheering]
And the winner is Archie Andrews.
[crowd cheering]
Hey. What the hell was that?
Me losing to Archie, again.
You were supposed to lose.
But after tonight,
you won't have to worry about playing second fiddle to Archie again. Okay?
I promise.
According to my sundial, it's time for sudden death.
Who is brave enough to challenge Archie Andrews
for the crown of Maple King or Maple Queen?
I am.
J'adore a good plot twist.
Step right up, cousin.
Fittingly, it all comes down to the most primal of conflicts,
man versus woman,
the all-American boy versus the girl next door.
I'm giving myself chills.
-Hi. -I thought you were sleuthing.
I was. And I found something big. I'll tell you about it when we get home.
All right. The rules are simple.
You each get one throw, closest to the bull's eye wins it all,
the title, the crown, everything.
Wait, wait. I thought I won the last two rounds?
Don't question my authority, Archie.
For that, you're up first.
[crowd cheering]
Feel free to bow out now, Betty.
-[crowd cheering] -[man] Oh, my God.
I give you our Maple Harvest Queen.
Good job, Betty.
For our runner-up, a pie.
You didn't tell me. What did you find out at Thornhill?
There's some definite weirdness going on there. Like, those poppets?
They're actually fertility dolls.
-What? Really? -Mm-hm.
So why don't we put this little sucker under our mattress tonight
and try to make a baby?
After you have some pie.
Can we skip the pie?
No.
My Maple King is gonna need all the energy he can muster up for what I have planned.
When you put it like that...
["U&ME" playing]
♪ It's just you and me now ♪
[ominous music playing]
[cell phone chiming]
-Betty? -[Kevin] It's me. They have Betty.
Kevin?
-What do you mean? Who's they? -Cheryl, some of the others.
They're performing some crazy ritual at Thornhill. You need to hurry!
[suspenseful music playing]
Stop!
-Don't hurt her. -Archie. Welcome.
We've been expecting you.
-What is this? -A ritual.
For me and for all of us here...
something has been made abundantly clear.
If we want our maple trees to thrive again...
if we want Rivervale to have a bountiful year in all respects...
a sacrifice has to be made.
But...
the right kind of sacrifice.
This is insane. I won't let you sacrifice Betty.
Archie...
something amazing happened.
I'm with child.
Earlier tonight, we conceived...
a baby, a son.
I know it. I can feel it in my bones.
It's what I've always wanted.
And in 25 years, he'll be crowned the Maple King, just like his father.
Betty...
what are you saying?
What she's saying is that women can't be sacrifices.
Women must bear children.
But men...
their blood is the seed.
Their blood is what nourishes the ground and the furrows.
Their blood is what will bring Rivervale back to its glory.
-The most potent kind of blood is that-- -I'm not a virgin.
No, you're certainly not.
But you have the distinction of being our town's one true pure heart.
We needed a king who was willing to die for his queen.
Only he would be worthy.
Jug?
Uncle Frank, you're in on this too?
You spent your entire life trying to preserve and save this town.
Tonight, you will succeed in doing exactly that.
You will be a martyr to your cause.
But--
[dramatic music playing]
-Betty. -He's awake, Cheryl. Do it now.
She Who Walks Amongst the Trees
Accept our sacrifice and be appeased
[gasping]
So ends the heroic life of Archie Andrews.
Born 25 years ago in the sleepy town of Riverdale,
died tonight...
in its shadow town, Rivervale.
I hope you've been enjoying your visit so far,
because no one is going anywhere.
We're just getting started.
[theme music playing] rted.