[Jughead] The signs, when they began, were easily explained.
Frogs escaping from the biology lab.
[croaking]
Swarming flies.
[buzzing]
And children sent home from school for having lice in their hair.
So despite these omens and portents, daily life continued.
-What can I do for you, Toni? -Okay.
I know it's super short notice,
but Fangs and I set a date for the wedding.
Really?
-Congratulations. -Thanks. We're really excited.
And you wanna book one of our champagne suites for the big night?
Actually, we were kind of hoping
that you could help organize and facilitate the wedding.
Oh, like in a party planner kind of way?
I know it's super last-minute, but we need a miracle worker,
and you're the only person I know that could pull this off.
Absolutely.
I'd be honored to plan your party.
[Archie] Fangs asked me to be a groomsman at his wedding.
I said I'm in as long as I don't have to give a speech or plan a bachelor party.
I can't believe it.
I'd understand it if you wanted to take a pass.
No, Arch. I'm really happy for Toni and Fangs.
And I would love to get dressed up and do something fun after SlaughterCon.
Yeah, a wedding would be a good thing. For everyone in the town.
We need something good to talk about, to celebrate.
Jughead, this is really cool. But also really creepy.
I feel I'm gonna have nightmares about La Llorona now.
-Sorry. -No, no, I love it.
But, um, where is this sudden burst of creativity coming from?
You know those voices I've been hearing? I started riffing off them.
Get this: The more I write, the more the voices subside.
Well, that's a relief.
Does that mean you can come out of the bunker?
Maybe go to Toni and Fangs' wedding?
Uh...
I just-- I don't know if I'm ready yet. When I go back up there,
the voices come back and it's that same cacophony again.
But I don't want you to go dateless to the wedding.
No. No, no, no. Don't worry about that.
I just want you to get better.
I want you to be...
okay.
I am.
I think I'm finally recovering.
Then that's all that matters.
[Jughead] Little did any of us know
that frogs, flies and lice were mere preludes
to Percival's symphony of biblical horrors.
[dramatic music playing]
[speaking in Latin]
[Veronica] I'm glad Jughead's doing better.
Me too.
Not enough to rejoin society. But baby steps. Hmph.
How are you doing?
Am I getting the sense that you were slightly less enthused
about Toni's wedding than you were about SlaughterCon?
It's not the wedding. I'm thrilled for Toni and Fangs...
but...
I used to be the She-Wolf of Wall Street, Tabitha.
And now, somehow, I'm a glorified party planner.
And instead of living in New York, I'm here in Riverdale with no social life,
no lover...
nothing.
-How did this happen? -Listen, according to my five-year plan,
I should have franchised Pop's and taken it national by now.
But you are a lot more than a party planner.
And we all know that when you set your mind to something,
there's nothing you can't do.
Except find a date for this wedding.
[pensive music playing]
God, I just miss sharing my heart with someone.
-My love. -[intercom beeps]
[man] Miss Lodge, we've got a problem. There's something wrong with the plumbing.
[Jughead] And it wasn't just at the casino.
[ominous music playing]
It was happening all over town.
[Toni] What is that, rust?
I don't know. Something must be messed up with the pipes.
[knocking on door]
Well, Kevin, what's so important you couldn't call or text?
I just wanted to come and tell you in person
that I'm not gonna fight for custody of Baby Anthony anymore.
I'm dropping the case.
What made you change your mind?
You're his mother, Toni.
And you're his father, his real father, Fangs. Not me.
I don't wanna cause you or Baby Anthony any more distress than I already have.
So just please forgive me.
[cell phone rings]
What do you want, Percival?
I want you to call off this ill-advised strike.
Your crew must be feeling the pinch by now.
End their torment, Archie.
Let them get back to work on my railroad.
It's not up to me. The crew's holding firm.
It's their choice.
See, Archie, even now you refuse to see the signs.
Reptiles and insects are swarming.
It always starts with God's lowliest creatures.
What are you talking about?
You have no idea what forces are at play here, do you?
Oh, well, you will. Soon.
And then your crew will be begging to get back to work for me.
In the meantime, might I suggest you tune into the news.
[Alice on TV] We repeat, somehow, overnight,
Sweetwater River has turned blood red.
Scientists are at a loss to explain this stunning,
dare I say, apocalyptic event.
It's weird. Percival basically insinuated that he was responsible
-for what happened to Sweetwater River. -How could that be possible?
He's got the power of persuasion, yes.
And other parlor tricks. But turning an entire river red
would mean he's a sorcerer of tremendous ability and skill.
Well, he also said there are other signs and forces at play.
-What signs? -I don't know, something about insects
and snakes. But the call was a threat.
Playing devil's advocate, which is what I do best,
I suggest we deal with our Percival situation immediately
-and decisively. -How?
Simple. We kill him.
I'll do the deed with my pyrokinesis.
Oh, my God. We've all thought about it.
If we kill Percival, the battle between good and evil
will already be lost. Look, Percival wants to break the strike.
Only instead of bringing in gun thugs, he's using scare tactics and intimidation.
So we need to stay strong. We have a meeting with the workers tomorrow.
-We'll make sure that they feel supported. -That said, until we know more,
should we maybe tell Toni to wait a beat on her wedding?
No. A wedding will remind everyone what they're fighting for.
A better tomorrow for our families. Percival is trying to divide the town,
Toni and Fangs will help bring it together.
[squishing noises]
[ominous music playing]
[Jughead] I didn't sleep well last night. Vivid nightmares.
Now something's missing. The ghost story I wrote about La Llorona.
Could someone have snuck into the bunker and stolen it?
[voices whispering indistinctly]
The strike is breaking us. Some of us heard
that Percival might be open to renegotiating our contracts and salary.
No, guys, look. Under no circumstances can we go back to work for Percival now.
We've gotta keep thinking long-term.
We're gaining momentum.
And Percival?
He's a snake.
We are fighting for the future.
You guys just need to hang on a little bit longer.
Can you do that?
Agent Lin, would you do me a favor and get me a few Bibles
and any other religious books you can track down?
Basically, holy texts that mention plagues, curses, revelations.
Sure. I didn't realize you were a religious person.
I'm not. But it's research for a possible case.
Hopefully, I'm wrong and it's nothing.
Do you think it's crazy that we're planning a wedding
while the sword of Damocles hangs over all of us?
We are fighting a battle on multiple fronts.
But it's just as important for life to continue during wartime.
Because, otherwise, what are we fighting for?
Good question.
You're fighting for Jughead and your family business.
Betty and Archie are fighting for each other.
Toni and Fangs are fighting for Anthony.
What exactly am I fighting for?
Trust me, there's something.
There's a reason you stayed in Riverdale.
[Cheryl] That was Toni.
Something wrong?
She...
asked me to officiate her and Fangs' wedding.
And what did you say?
I said yes.
That was a really nice thing to do.
[tender music playing]
You know what, Heather?
It is nice.
And I am going to give Toni the best wedding gift ever.
Which is what?
I'm going to kill Percival for her.
[Percival speaking in Latin]
[Toni] Oh, my God!
What the hell happened to the food?
I don't understand.
Me neither. Ten minutes ago, this spread was to die for.
Rotting meat, spoiled food? That's Percival.
I don't believe this. We're gonna have to cancel.
-The dinner's in a few hours. -No.
No, Toni. I said I'd make this wedding happen for you,
and that includes the rehearsal dinner. Leave everything to me.
They don't call Veronica Lodge a miracle worker for nothing.
[Jughead] That smell. Is that a Pop's cheeseburger?
What? It can't be.
Okay. This is weird.
I mean, I shouldn't touch it.
And I definitely shouldn't eat it.
And yet...
[suspenseful music playing]
Are you certain this will work?
[Heather] According to the incantation from the Maleficarum,
you should be able to project your powers elsewhere.
Across town, even.
Onto Percival, as long as you focus on his poppet.
Okay.
[both] Fire of brim and fire of stone Accept this doll in place of bone
And as the fire burns and quickens May death become old Percival Pickens
[sizzling]
[groaning]
Blossom!
[dramatic music playing]
[speaking in Latin]
Is that it? Did it work?
I-- I'm not sure. Something doesn't seem right.
-[Nana screams] -Nana.
[screams]
[indistinct chatter]
[glass clinks]
I'd like to propose a toast.
Originally, this dinner was going to be at the Babylonium.
Then I realized that when your bride
is as elegant and classy as Antoinette Topaz...
she elevates everything to five stars.
Moreover, the venue isn't nearly as important as the people
who are there celebrating with you.
[tender music playing]
So a toast to you, Toni.
And a toast to all of us
for coming together in the face of unprecedented adversity.
But most especially, to us single girls.
♪ Here's to the ladies who lunch ♪
♪ Everybody laugh ♪
[piano playing]
♪ Lounging in their caftans And planning a brunch ♪
♪ On their own behalf ♪
[band playing jazz music]
♪ And here's to the girls who play wife ♪
♪ Aren't they too much? ♪
♪ Keeping house But clutching a copy of LIFE ♪
♪ Just to keep in touch ♪
♪ And here's to the girls who just watch ♪
♪ Aren't they the best? ♪
♪ When they get depressed It's a bottle of Scotch ♪
♪ Plus a little jest ♪
♪ Another chance to disapprove ♪
♪ Another brilliant zinger ♪
♪ Another reason not to move ♪
♪ Another vodka stinger ♪
-[glass shatters] -♪ I'll drink to that ♪
♪ So here's to the girls on the go Everybody tries ♪
♪ Look into their eyes And you'll see what they know ♪
♪ Everybody dies ♪
♪ A toast to that invincible bunch ♪
♪ The dinosaurs surviving the crunch ♪
♪ Let's hear it for the ladies who lunch ♪
♪ Everybody rise! ♪
♪ Rise! ♪
♪ Rise! Rise! Rise! ♪
♪ Rise! ♪
[all cheering]
-That was quite the performance, Vee. -Thanks, Bee.
I did Company at Barnard.
And I've been waiting for the perfect moment to deploy a little Sondheim.
Yeah. So listen, Vee.
Do you have a date for the wedding tomorrow?
For the first time in, well, ever,
Veronica Lodge is going stag.
Well, in that case, do you wanna come with me and Archie?
You mean, like when the three of us went to the back-to-school dance together
sophomore year?
-That was iconic. -I mean, we were pretty badass, huh?
Oh, completely.
But I couldn't do that to you and Archie.
Though, I'm moved by the gesture.
But thanks for reminding me of what I'm fighting for in this wicked little town.
My friends.
Bee and Vee forever?
Bee and Vee forever.
Guys. We just got a crazy text from Cheryl.
It was awful. My nana was engulfed in flames.
Heather is rubbing a healing salve all over her body even as we speak.
Okay. But I-- I don't understand. You were trying to burn Percival, but...
Nana Rose caught on fire instead?
Yes.
Heather thinks he used a counterspell to redirect the attack onto Nana.
Which means his powers do extend beyond mind control and psychological attacks.
Small potatoes, but...
we think he may have corrupted the first iteration of Toni's rehearsal dinner.
Corruption is another plague,
like rivers running bloodred and flies and frogs.
So Percival's calling plagues down upon us?
Fine. Whatever. How are we supposed to protect ourselves against that?
We call the strike off, before God knows what else happens.
That's why Percival's bringing the hammer down on us. On everyone.
-To get us back to work. -Yes.
Building his ghost train. Which would doom us all.
The very definition of a lose-lose situation.
This will just be a stopgap. A countermove to get Percival to ease off.
We'll build his railway. But slowly.
It'll give us enough time to find a more permanent solution.
God, I wish there was a person on the inside who we could trust.
Who could just tell us what Percival was doing in his shop.
Wait. Toni told me that Kevin is dropping his custody claim on Anthony.
And he's moving out of the Babylonium, which makes me think...
maybe he's not Team Percival all the way anymore.
Well, I can talk to Kevin. Maybe he can help us.
[Jughead] Damn. Probably shouldn't have eaten that food.
-[stomach gurgles] -Oh, God. No, I definitely shouldn't have.
[retching]
[ominous music playing]
I actually thought that Percival was making this town better,
that he had something to offer me.
But he was just telling me what I wanted to hear,
and I listened and went along with it like a fool.
You weren't the only one, Kev.
And it's not too late for you to help us stop Percival, okay?
-So, what can you tell me about him? -He's some kind of a magic man.
I've seen him performing spells.
Yeah, we suspected as much.
Is there anything else?
He's got this little black book full of secrets
he's always writing in.
Like a journal, diary or something.
-Kev, I hate to ask-- -You want me to steal it, don't you?
Okay, Betty, yeah. I'll try.
-Where are you going? -Gonna play a little pickup outside,
get the blood pumping. Why? What's up, Archie?
With your permission, I'd like to meet up with Percival
and negotiate the best possible terms
-for you that I can. -To return to work?
-Why? -Who knows how long this strike
will drag on. And my sense is, things are gonna get worse, a lot worse,
-before they start getting better. -But we heard you before
and we're here for it. We wanna do what's right.
-But don't you waver, man. -You guys all feel like this?
All right, screw it. We stand together.
All right.
[hopeful music playing]
[suspenseful music playing]
[Percival humming]
[speaking in Latin]
[Fangs] Archie!
[all groaning]
What the hell is happening?
What the hell are you playing at?
I did warn you, Mr. Andrews.
Take away the boils. I'll get the crew back to work.
No. Too soon for that. They haven't learned their lessons yet.
But if you wanted to ease your workers' symptoms...
you could start work for me immediately.
-And you'll stop hurting my crew? -If you keep working
and a certain threshold of progress is met,
the workers' boils and pain will subside eventually.
Sweet Forsythe.
Cheryl.
-What ails you? -I don't know.
Mayhap I can relieve you.
[Jughead] And how much did you wanna bet that another one of my stories
was now gone too?
[ominous music playing]
Kevin, what are you doing?
Oh, um...
I'm just looking for you.
I was out picking up a delivery.
What's all this?
I'm just feeling adrift, I guess.
All this stuff with Toni and Fangs getting married just made me feel...
-lonely, unwanted. -Oh, Kevin.
You and your self-esteem, eh?
I've got something to distract you, if not cheer you up.
Come and help me unpack some of the glorious new treasures
that I've acquired.
[phone ringing]
[ominous music playing]
[TBK] I saw a woman sit upon a scarlet-colored beast.
Full of blasphemy. And that woman was Babylon the Great,
mother of all destruction and abomination.
You are that woman, Betty.
[Jughead] And lo, it came to pass on the third day,
while Archie Andrews worked the railway to spare his crew any more suffering,
and Veronica Lodge worked the phones,
trying to rustle up an appropriate date for Toni's wedding,
and Toni and Fangs worked on their wedding vows...
a terrible darkness fell over the town of Riverdale...
in the middle of the day.
[dramatic music playing]
[Betty] And now surprise eclipses are happening in Riverdale.
Archie's working the railway and the plagues are still coming.
-So clearly, Percival has another agenda. -Percival's getting ready for war, Betty.
-What does that mean? -He just received a shipment of weaponry.
Crossbows from the Crusades, uh, sabers from the Civil War,
torture racks from the Spanish Inquisition,
a stockade for the harlot of Babylon, swords and shields from Saxony.
Hold on, go back to the stockade part.
Yeah, it's a torture device. Kept rambling about how he wants
to put the harlot of Babylon exactly where she belongs:
On display for when the walls come tumbling down.
Miss Cooper. Pleasure to have visitors in my shop.
You want to imprison me, right?
You wanna put me in that stockade? Will that satisfy you?
And why would I want that?
I had a flash, a memory, a dream, I don't know what it was,
of a man calling me the harlot of Babylon
and asking me to join his side in a coming war.
I didn't understand it. I still don't,
but yours is the only war that I'm aware of currently.
If you want Riverdale's harlot on display, I guess that would be me.
So put me in your stockade, Percival, if that will finally stop the plagues.
Now I understand.
Mr. Keller has betrayed me.
But no, Miss Cooper, it's not you that I want. At least, not only you.
Then what?
I would've thought that was rather obvious.
He wants Baby Anthony? Over my dead body.
We're not gonna give him Baby Anthony.
What? Does he want Anthony for some crazy occult ritual?
Mmm, probably.
He comes near my child, I'm gonna rip his larynx out.
Time is not on our side. Percival has threatened to call down more plagues
if we don't hand over Baby Anthony by sundown.
I'm almost afraid to ask, but which plagues are left?
Earthquakes, fire from the sky, pestilence, hail,
and death of the firstborn.
Oh, my God.
And Baby Anthony is not the only thing he wants.
He wants to put me in the harlot-of-Babylon stockade.
Stockade?
[ominous music playing]
-What? -Check the Maleficarum, page 352.
Is this what you're talking about?
-Yeah. -That's it.
Okay, that's good news.
-This is the Stockade of Logarius. -According to the Maleficarum,
the Stockade of Logarius is inescapable.
-It renders its prisoners powerless. -Would that include Percival?
-Sure, if we can get him into it. -Turning his torture device against him.
-I'm down with that. -Agreed, but how?
With a tactic my father favored. A good old-fashioned raid.
Percival's just hanging out in his shop, happily polishing his antiques,
-waiting for me to deliver Baby Anthony. -Well, if we move fast enough,
like right now, we might be able to catch him by surprise.
I'm so in, but won't he see us coming from a mile away?
Not necessarily.
[Jughead] Who are you?
What are you? What do you want from me?
Why are you stealing my work?
-Oh. What, no answer? -[bottle rattling]
[dramatic music playing]
[clicking tongue]
Aw.
Back.
Sooner than I expected.
[gasps]
And what does the harlot have in her arms?
-I brought what you wanted. -Very good, Betty. Now may I see the babe?
Of course.
You're a fool, Miss Cooper,
coming here...
all alone with your dime-store trickery.
Yeah, except I'm not alone.
Guys.
-You're under arrest, Percival. -Nighty-night, Percy.
[dramatic music playing]
[Jughead] And lo, it came to pass that Percival was captured.
And with his capture...
the sun returned.
The plagues had ended.
The chain was broken.
The Mad Monk was in his dungeon.
What do you think of your new accommodations?
Rest assured, my vault is the most secure room in this building.
If you'll excuse me, I don't wanna be late for the event of the season.
TTFN!
[Fangs] We wanted to talk to you, Kevin.
What you've done over the past few days isn't lost on us.
Releasing custody of Baby Anthony,
helping us catch Percival.
So we've talked it over and we'd like to invite you to the wedding.
Really?
You guys, I don't know what to say. Can Moose come?
Yes. Yes.
["Wedding March" playing]
[Cheryl] Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today
for the wedding of Fangs Fogarty and my dearest friend, Antoinette Topaz,
to celebrate and bear witness to their union as a couple
with Baby Anthony present, as a family.
Fangs, what say you?
Mm-hm. [clears throat]
[sentimental music playing]
Toni.
If you had told me while we were being initiated into the Serpents
that we'd one day be getting married, I probably would have laughed.
But believe me when I say to you today...
I love you, Toni.
And I love our family.
It's us against the world.
Toni.
Fangs.
Getting married here today is just the next step
in our wild and unexpected journey together.
I love how unconventional, surprising and beautiful our relationship is.
You're an amazing father,
and you make Baby Anthony and I very, very proud.
I'm so excited about the memories we're gonna make with Anthony.
Till death do us part.
[humming "Flight of the Valkyries"]
[chittering]
Oh, good.
You found me.
-Now, where are the others? -[chittering]
Well, now it's a party.
Now, by the power vested in me under the watchful eye of Hecate,
I declare you husband and wife.
You may share your first wedded kiss.
[crowd cheering]
Yeah!
[band playing pop music]
♪ I wrote a song six years ago While playing in a wedding band ♪
♪ The word got out and suddenly The band and I are in demand ♪
♪ And now couples all over Jersey Hire me to insure their wedding bliss ♪
♪ All because of the tune I wrote ♪
♪ That tune goes like this: ♪
♪ Oh, when it's your wedding day And my music starts to play ♪
♪ I can guarantee That love will find you ♪
♪ Yeah, when it's your wedding day All the problems melt away ♪
♪ If you count on me ♪
♪ 'Cause love is what I do ♪
Let's make quick work of this wormwood, shall we?
It's not my first time in a stockade, and I simply can't abide it.
Plus, there's still so much to do...
before the end of it all.
♪ "Jessie's Girl" instead ♪
♪ Bring the room down With "Endless Love" ♪
♪ And blast "Bang Your Head" ♪
♪ Bang your head! ♪
♪ Yeah, when it's your wedding day All the problems melt away ♪
♪ If you count on me 'cause love is what ♪
♪ Yes, love is what I do ♪
♪ Love's what I do ♪
♪ Love is what I do ♪
[ominous music playing]
[oxygen hissing]
Roseanne Blossom.
You are the eldest-living firstborn child of Riverdale
and so will be my harbinger for my last plague.
[muffled crying]
And there shall be a great cry in all the land as there never was before.
[crying stops]
♪ You are the blueprint ♪
♪ But internally, goddamn your mess ♪
♪ Except to stay with you I had to imagine ♪
♪ That he is perfect ♪
♪ Anything I give him, he deserves it ♪
Care for some company?
-Tabitha. Hey. -Hi.
Perfect timing.
I have a question for you.
You've seen into the future.
Does that mean you know who's endgame?
Archie and Betty or...
Archie and me?
Come on, Tabitha. I know you know.
Okay. Listen. I will tell you, but...
this has to stay between us.
-The truth is-- -[Betty] Archie! Oh, my God!
Hey! Arch! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Someone help! Please! Please!
Arch! Arch.
-Hold on, let me get this. -[Veronica] Archie?
Archie! Look at me! Please! Hey!
Oh, my God! Oh, God!
Arch! Arch!
Tee-Tee! Tee-Tee!
Tee-Tee! What's happening?
Help! Somebody!
[guests clamoring]
[dramatic music playing]
What is happening?
[shuffling noises]
All right. Jig's up.
Who are you? Why are you taking my stories?
Hey! Turn around.
I said, turn around!
[ominous music playing]
What?
Uh...
[groaning]
I don't understand this.
It's the last plague.
Death of the firstborn.
I was born last after Polly and Charles.
Hermosa's older than me.
Jason was older than me.
But Baby Anthony is the firstborn.
Yeah, he is.
Must be why Percival wanted him. He's...
He's special, somehow.
Jughead. Oh, my God. Jughead!
Oh, my God.
[pensive music playing]
I believe I know someone who can help us.
A necromancer.
Far beyond my abilities.
Who?
Her name...
is Sabrina.
[theme music playing] s.