1 00:00:02,293 --> 00:00:04,087 [Jughead] After Dr. Werthers' editorial, 2 00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:07,882 comic books were periodicals non grata in Riverdale, 3 00:00:07,966 --> 00:00:12,178 just as I'd become one of Pep Comics' go-to writers. 4 00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:14,014 And speaking of Pep Comics, 5 00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:17,017 I noticed some of their recent output bore an uncanny resemblance 6 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:21,187 to stories written by my favorite pulp writer of all time, Brad Rayberry. 7 00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:22,897 But where was Rayberry's credit? 8 00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:25,150 -[door closes] -Mr. Fieldstone, 9 00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:28,570 the comic book that you just published is, beat for beat, 10 00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:32,031 exactly like a story that Brad Rayberry published ten years ago. 11 00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:33,408 Hold on. 12 00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:37,287 The Rayberry story is called November County. 13 00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:39,289 Ours is called November Country. 14 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:42,333 Is Pep Comics in the business of plagiarizing? 15 00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:45,503 That is an ugly word we never use here, all right? 16 00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:49,090 But it's all coming back to me now. 17 00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:54,596 I dimly remember trying to reach out to this Rayberry guy about a rights inquiry, 18 00:00:55,555 --> 00:01:00,101 but he never returned my calls, so I just assumed he was probably dead. 19 00:01:03,813 --> 00:01:06,441 You know, I've been here a couple of days now 20 00:01:06,524 --> 00:01:08,359 and I've observed a few things. 21 00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:10,904 Take a break, Archie. 22 00:01:15,992 --> 00:01:18,036 Your mom's concerned about you. 23 00:01:18,119 --> 00:01:19,079 And so am I. 24 00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:23,041 The lying, the sneaking around, that business with the Blossom girl. 25 00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:26,628 Your grades are mediocre, and you're not pulling your weight around the house. 26 00:01:27,128 --> 00:01:29,714 How do you think your dad would feel? Think he'd be proud? 27 00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:33,468 What did he say to you before he went off to war? 28 00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:34,469 Remind me. 29 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:42,352 He said that I should take care of Mom and be the man of the house. 30 00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:43,311 That's right. 31 00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:45,939 Now, do you think you've lived up to that? 32 00:01:46,981 --> 00:01:48,066 No. 33 00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:49,818 Well, you're going to start. 34 00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:51,361 Right now. 35 00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:54,739 Come with me. 36 00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:59,119 Mom, I'm sorry if I've been disrespecting you lately. 37 00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:01,246 I promise I'll be a better son to you. 38 00:02:01,996 --> 00:02:03,957 Thank you, Archie. 39 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:05,625 I know you will, honey. 40 00:02:06,751 --> 00:02:07,919 Good man. 41 00:02:08,002 --> 00:02:11,047 Tomorrow, we'll talk to your principal about getting your grades up. 42 00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:17,303 ["I Feel So Good" playing] 43 00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:20,515 ♪ I feel so ♪ 44 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:23,935 ♪ Good ♪ 45 00:02:24,018 --> 00:02:25,061 ♪ Right now ♪ 46 00:02:34,362 --> 00:02:35,488 ♪ Right now ♪ 47 00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:37,282 [school bell ringing] 48 00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:42,453 Veronica, can I bend your ear? 49 00:02:42,537 --> 00:02:43,746 Sure, Betty. 50 00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:46,040 What's on your mind? 51 00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:49,544 I was just wondering... 52 00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:52,213 what's sex like? 53 00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:55,633 My goodness. 54 00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:57,927 And I've barely just had my morning java. 55 00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,888 Well, all I'm doing is reading about it, 56 00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:04,851 and I just wanted to talk to someone with, you know, first-hand experience. 57 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,396 Okay. 58 00:03:09,397 --> 00:03:10,690 Truth time. 59 00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:18,740 Now, you can't tell anyone, because I have a reputation to uphold, 60 00:03:18,823 --> 00:03:21,451 but, entre nous, 61 00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:25,455 I haven't actually gone all the way with a boy. 62 00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:27,582 Not yet. 63 00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:30,960 I just assumed because you're so... 64 00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:33,504 sexy. 65 00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:36,090 Thanks for noticing. 66 00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:40,386 But, Betty, you don't have to have sex to be sexy. 67 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:43,973 But how do you--? 68 00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:49,854 How do I carry myself more like you? 69 00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:55,818 Well, there are all sorts of tricks a woman can use 70 00:03:55,902 --> 00:04:00,615 to revel in her body and feel more sensual. 71 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,159 Perfume is one. 72 00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:06,704 Or a heel that puts a sway in your step. 73 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:10,208 But my favorite little trade secret... 74 00:04:12,126 --> 00:04:14,212 is wearing sexy lingerie. 75 00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:17,715 Lingerie? 76 00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:20,051 I like the way it makes me feel. 77 00:04:20,134 --> 00:04:22,804 The soft fabric against my skin, 78 00:04:22,887 --> 00:04:25,932 knowing that it makes my body look fantastic. 79 00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:31,062 Say, why don't you give lingerie a whirl? 80 00:04:31,145 --> 00:04:34,440 Come over to The Pembrooke after school and try some on. 81 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:36,359 Okay. Sure. 82 00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:40,238 Good morning, Antoinette. 83 00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:41,781 Here's your novel back. 84 00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:45,159 What did you think of it? 85 00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:47,620 Um... 86 00:04:49,747 --> 00:04:51,916 I like the cover. 87 00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:55,795 There's something aesthetically pleasing 88 00:04:55,878 --> 00:05:00,174 about two voluptuous, feminine forms in close proximity to each other. 89 00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:01,592 Voluptuous, huh? 90 00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:05,471 Well, how about you and I go to the Dark Room 91 00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:07,932 and grab a cappuccino in privacy, 92 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:10,601 where we can feed each other apple butter about the cover art? 93 00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:14,897 No, I couldn't possibly. I'm far too busy getting ready to relaunch my Vixens. 94 00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,357 Oh, yes. 95 00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:18,109 Your paper shakers. 96 00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:19,610 I would ask you to join, 97 00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:22,405 but I'm sure being a cheerleader is far too square 98 00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:24,365 for a girl greaser like you. 99 00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:33,166 Sir, I swear on a stack of Bibles 100 00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:36,085 that I'm gonna double down on my schoolwork and get my grades up. 101 00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:38,921 I wanna be at least a B student. 102 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,215 I'm happy to hear that, Archie. 103 00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:42,967 I feel as if there's much... 104 00:05:44,093 --> 00:05:46,804 untapped potential within you. 105 00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:48,139 [chuckles softly] 106 00:05:48,222 --> 00:05:50,725 And, Frank, your timing couldn't be better. 107 00:05:50,808 --> 00:05:54,562 I wonder, might I have a word with you in private? 108 00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:55,980 Of course. 109 00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:58,316 Archie, will you excuse us? 110 00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:00,943 Uh, sure. 111 00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:09,368 Okay, girls, let's fire it up and see what we're working with. 112 00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:10,453 ["Too Darn Hot" playing] 113 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:14,373 ♪ It's too darn hot ♪ 114 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:17,502 ♪ It's too darn hot ♪ 115 00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,254 Hope I'm not too late. 116 00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:24,175 I'm sorry, you're not on our list. 117 00:06:24,258 --> 00:06:26,177 -Better luck next year-- -Evelyn. 118 00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:28,179 Are you the captain? 119 00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,890 Oh. No, that's right. That would be me. 120 00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:34,018 So quit biting at my ankles and shut your trap. 121 00:06:36,395 --> 00:06:38,106 You're not too late, Toni. 122 00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:40,441 In fact, you're first up. 123 00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:43,069 I assume you prepared a routine. 124 00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:44,278 I did. 125 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:48,950 We got the pep 126 00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:50,576 We got the... 127 00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:52,787 ["Too Darn Hot" playing] 128 00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:55,957 ♪ It's too darn hot ♪ 129 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,501 ♪ It's too darn hot ♪ 130 00:06:58,876 --> 00:07:02,630 ♪ I'd like to sup with my baby tonight ♪ 131 00:07:04,298 --> 00:07:08,386 ♪ Refill the cup with my baby tonight ♪ 132 00:07:10,346 --> 00:07:12,807 ♪ I'd like to sup with my baby tonight ♪ 133 00:07:12,890 --> 00:07:16,018 ♪ Refill the cup with my baby tonight ♪ 134 00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:18,563 ♪ But I ain't up to my baby tonight ♪ 135 00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:21,482 ♪ 'Cause it's too darn hot... ♪ 136 00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:24,402 [Toni] Riverdale High School 137 00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:27,029 That's our team 138 00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:32,326 Well, razz my berries and put them in a jelly jar. 139 00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:35,830 I haven't seen that kind of pom-pom technique in years. 140 00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:39,041 Since I alone speak for the Vixens, 141 00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:43,045 I would like to officially offer you a spot on the squad. 142 00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:46,382 -Shouldn't we wait 'til we've seen--? -Evelyn. 143 00:07:46,465 --> 00:07:49,760 Until you've proven you can do more than regurgitate a Doris Day shuffle, 144 00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:51,137 I suggest you zip it. 145 00:08:05,693 --> 00:08:08,738 So, looks like I'll be sticking around a while. 146 00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:12,033 Principal Featherhead asked me to be the basketball team's head coach. 147 00:08:12,116 --> 00:08:13,993 Oh, that's great news, Frank. 148 00:08:14,076 --> 00:08:15,328 [Frank] Now that the war's over, 149 00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:17,830 Featherhead wants to bring the Bulldogs back. 150 00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:20,082 Tryouts are tomorrow after school. 151 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,792 I expect to see you there. 152 00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:25,963 Well, if it's all the same to you, I think I might sit this season out. 153 00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:27,590 But you love basketball. 154 00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:31,636 I've been told to focus on my studies, Mom. 155 00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:35,056 Archie, you're young. You can study and play basketball. 156 00:08:35,139 --> 00:08:36,933 You don't want me on the team. 157 00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:39,185 I'm no good. I'm out of practice. 158 00:08:39,268 --> 00:08:40,520 Archie. 159 00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:41,687 It's okay, Mary. 160 00:08:42,521 --> 00:08:44,398 If Archie doesn't feel like he's fit to play, 161 00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:46,108 he can contribute another way... 162 00:08:47,151 --> 00:08:48,152 as a water boy. 163 00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:49,904 [scoffs] 164 00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,870 [jazz music playing over record player] 165 00:08:58,412 --> 00:09:00,581 What's the tale, nightingale? 166 00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:01,999 Come out and let me see. 167 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:05,670 [Betty sighs] I-- I'm not sure. 168 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,506 Don't be modest, Betty. It's just us girls. 169 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,346 I knew it. 170 00:09:15,429 --> 00:09:17,723 I knew it would look perfect on you. 171 00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:19,850 Well, how do you feel? 172 00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:20,935 Sexy as sin? 173 00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:24,355 Hardly. I feel... embarrassed. 174 00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:25,356 Why? 175 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,943 Bettie Page herself would go ape for you. 176 00:09:30,194 --> 00:09:31,696 This was a silly idea. 177 00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:33,823 -I'm gonna change. -Betty, wait. 178 00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:35,157 Come here. 179 00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:40,913 Give yourself a minute to get used to the lace. 180 00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:44,166 Deep breaths. 181 00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:48,963 Now look at yourself. 182 00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:54,010 Look at your beautiful body and repeat after me. 183 00:09:55,177 --> 00:10:00,016 [echoing] I am a gorgeous, powerful, sexy siren 184 00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:02,518 at the height of my womanly powers. 185 00:10:04,603 --> 00:10:08,524 And may God have mercy on the boys of Riverdale High. 186 00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:15,865 [knock on door] 187 00:10:19,493 --> 00:10:20,703 [door unlocks] 188 00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:22,747 Oh, wow. 189 00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:26,125 Mr. Rayberry, uh, I'm Jughead Jones. 190 00:10:27,084 --> 00:10:30,171 I'm a writer over at Pep Comics in Riverdale, 191 00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:31,213 and I know for a fact 192 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:35,176 they are plagiarizing and publishing your stories for monetary gain. 193 00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:36,886 Huh? 194 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,221 They're ripping you off. 195 00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:41,599 [chain unhooks] 196 00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:44,810 I think you should send them a cease and desist letter 197 00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,354 or sue them or something. 198 00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:47,980 Yeah. Hold on. Hold on. 199 00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:49,857 You're employed by Pep Comics? 200 00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:53,361 And you want me to sue Pep Comics? Why? 201 00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:58,407 Well, that might be a bit extreme, but, uh... 202 00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:00,034 [chuckles] 203 00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:05,331 I think you're the tops, and you shouldn't be treated this way. 204 00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:06,665 I, um... 205 00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:09,752 I'm sure it's just some kind of misunderstanding. 206 00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:11,379 Uh, it's... 207 00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:14,090 It's not. It's theft. 208 00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:17,134 I went through all of Pep Comics' back issues. 209 00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:20,554 They've poached, like, eight of your stories. 210 00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:24,058 Um, this is just the latest one. 211 00:11:28,437 --> 00:11:29,814 [Cheryl] Spit it out, Evelyn. 212 00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:35,111 I have some concerns 213 00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:37,822 about our new Vixen, Toni Topaz. 214 00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:40,449 Feeling threatened should only make you work harder. 215 00:11:41,283 --> 00:11:46,205 I just don't think that we should have girls like Toni on our squad. 216 00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:50,501 You best choose your next words very carefully, Evelyn. 217 00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:52,795 Riverdale High is fully integrated, as are the Vixens. 218 00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:56,382 -If you have a problem with that-- -My problem isn't Toni being Black. 219 00:11:57,883 --> 00:12:01,679 Well, it's with the fact that everyone knows she's a lezzie. 220 00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:04,473 And I wouldn't be comfortable naked in the locker room with her. 221 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:08,144 I don't know where you heard such a disgusting rumor, Evelyn, 222 00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:09,895 but let me clue you in. 223 00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:11,814 Toni Topaz is not a... 224 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,733 whatever that word is. 225 00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:17,194 I wouldn't tolerate such behavior on my squad, 226 00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:19,655 so shut your damn mouth about it. 227 00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:21,907 Now put an egg in your shoe and beat it. 228 00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:23,659 A new episode of Oh, Mija! is about to begin 229 00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:26,036 and you are not invited to stay and watch. 230 00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:29,874 [Lizzo] Topaz. 231 00:12:29,957 --> 00:12:33,294 Scuttlebutt is you're a paper shaker now. 232 00:12:33,377 --> 00:12:35,171 What happened? 233 00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:36,630 Let me guess. 234 00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:39,425 Still bird-dogging that redheaded closet case? 235 00:12:39,508 --> 00:12:42,511 Not that I have to justify my actions to you, Lizzo, 236 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:43,804 you're currently looking 237 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:46,849 at Riverdale High's first Black cheerleader ever. 238 00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:49,894 Now, that may not mean a lot to you, but it does to me. 239 00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:52,021 So it's political for you? 240 00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:53,814 Yeah, I got it. That makes sense. 241 00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:57,193 Damn, Topaz, you must really be on the hook. 242 00:12:58,819 --> 00:13:00,279 Not that I blame you. 243 00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:03,324 That's one cherry lollipop I'd happily lick. 244 00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:05,034 [Lizzo giggles] 245 00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:16,045 [clears throat] 246 00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:18,839 What the heck did you do with my car? 247 00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:22,176 That hot rod was an unnecessary distraction, Archie. 248 00:13:22,259 --> 00:13:25,513 It's safe and sound. You'll get it back once your grades are where they should be. 249 00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:27,640 How do you expect me to get to school? 250 00:13:27,723 --> 00:13:28,933 You can walk. 251 00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:30,726 Take the bus, ride your bike. 252 00:13:30,809 --> 00:13:33,604 Or you can hitch a ride with me, but you'd better hustle. 253 00:13:33,687 --> 00:13:36,524 You don't wanna be late for your first day as water boy. 254 00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:48,118 Well? Are you wearing them? 255 00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:52,331 Don't flip out, but I am not. 256 00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:55,292 Betty, how will you ever get used to lace panties 257 00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:57,211 if you don't wear them every day? 258 00:13:57,294 --> 00:13:59,797 I know, but there's gym class later today, 259 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:04,385 and I didn't want people to see me in them and think I was some kind of nymphomaniac. 260 00:14:04,468 --> 00:14:08,222 Yet another word invented by men who wanna gaslight women. 261 00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:13,352 Anyway, now that I'm your new wingwoman, I've been thinking... 262 00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:16,772 it's time we found you a man 263 00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:20,526 who can appreciate what an incredible, powerful, 264 00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:23,153 beautiful knockout you are. 265 00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:26,490 So now that you and Kevin are no more, who do you have your eye on? 266 00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:29,285 There is someone, actually. 267 00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:31,787 Don't be coy. Who's the lucky duck? 268 00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:34,582 It's Archie. 269 00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:42,965 Yes, Archie is a teen dreamboat, isn't he? 270 00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:47,887 Well, you're in luck. 271 00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:51,557 I spied him in the lounge mere seconds ago. 272 00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:54,935 So why don't you march on in there and ask him out? 273 00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:57,813 Let's do it now before you can talk yourself out of it. 274 00:15:02,359 --> 00:15:03,193 Hi, Archie. 275 00:15:05,195 --> 00:15:06,071 Betty, hey. 276 00:15:07,197 --> 00:15:08,449 What's the scoop? 277 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:12,077 The scoop is... 278 00:15:15,831 --> 00:15:18,500 do you maybe wanna go to the movies with me? 279 00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:19,627 The movies? 280 00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:24,173 Heck, yeah, Betty. I'd love to take you to the movies. 281 00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:25,215 [Betty] Really? 282 00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:29,261 But I can't. 283 00:15:32,222 --> 00:15:33,474 I can't right now. 284 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,019 It's my Uncle Frank. He's being a real pain in the ass. 285 00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:39,939 He's got me on a trip for biscuits, making me the team water boy. 286 00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:44,777 Maybe he'll ease up in the next couple weeks, 287 00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:45,986 and we can go then? 288 00:15:48,989 --> 00:15:51,659 Of course. Yeah, another time is fine. 289 00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:56,330 [Betty sniffles] 290 00:15:57,122 --> 00:16:00,459 At least he was nice enough to come up with an excuse. 291 00:16:00,542 --> 00:16:02,544 Or it's the truth. 292 00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:06,632 And you just need to let Archie work out his family strife for a bit. 293 00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:12,596 Say, why don't we nab ourselves a couple of good time boys 294 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:13,889 and go on a double date? 295 00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:16,809 With... With who? 296 00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:19,353 Isn't there an all-boys private school down the lane? 297 00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:20,979 You mean Stonewall Prep? 298 00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:24,108 Mm. J'adore private school boys. 299 00:16:24,608 --> 00:16:26,610 So sexually frustrated, 300 00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:28,696 so easy to torment and manipulate. 301 00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:32,533 [Betty] Hmm. 302 00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:35,035 ["Sweet Georgia Brown" playing] 303 00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:58,475 Let's see what we have here. 304 00:17:05,315 --> 00:17:07,901 The Story of Forbidden Feminine Love. 305 00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:11,405 I knew it. 306 00:17:11,488 --> 00:17:14,700 Excuse me. Can I help you with something, Evelyn? 307 00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:17,036 It's strange, Toni. 308 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:21,498 When I asked her, Cheryl insisted that you weren't gaga for girls. 309 00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:24,752 This book tells a different story. 310 00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:27,671 As a matter of fact, I read all kinds of books. 311 00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:30,591 So how about you quit sticking your nose in my business 312 00:17:30,674 --> 00:17:33,093 before I serve you up a knuckle sandwich? 313 00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:34,887 Can you dig it? 314 00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:38,891 Now, why don't you tell me exactly what Cheryl said? 315 00:17:41,268 --> 00:17:44,605 So, what do you think? First issue, hot off the presses. 316 00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:47,274 This is so boss, boss. 317 00:17:47,357 --> 00:17:49,777 To see it in full color and in print with my name... 318 00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:51,445 That's just the final proof. 319 00:17:51,528 --> 00:17:52,905 [approaching footsteps] 320 00:17:53,655 --> 00:17:55,657 Which one of you shucksters is Al Fieldstone? 321 00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:57,576 I am. Who are you? 322 00:17:58,202 --> 00:18:02,247 Brad Rayberry. You've been plagiarizing my short stories for your comic books. 323 00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:05,250 Hey, now. What's to say that two different writers 324 00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:07,586 couldn't have had similar ideas concurrently? 325 00:18:07,669 --> 00:18:09,296 Once, maybe. 326 00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:11,090 But eight times? 327 00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:13,217 You think that's gonna pass muster in the courts? 328 00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:15,636 The courts? [chuckles] You listen to me, pal. 329 00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:18,097 I have got the top lawyers in New York on retainer. 330 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:22,810 Uh, fellas, acknowledging that someone at some time 331 00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:25,687 might have read a book and been inspired by it, 332 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,481 what if we put Mr. Rayberry's name 333 00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:31,110 on all future reprints of stories that are similar to his 334 00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:35,781 and pay him a modest but appropriate fee for the rights to adapt his work? 335 00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:37,991 How much dough are we talking about? 336 00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:40,452 -How about--? -How about... 337 00:18:41,161 --> 00:18:43,539 a $2 adaptation fee per story? 338 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:52,297 Deal. But I wanna be compensated for the 8 stories you've already adapted. 339 00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:53,757 Comprende? 340 00:18:55,425 --> 00:18:57,219 [exhales sharply] Deal. 341 00:19:01,014 --> 00:19:03,725 -[door bell jingling] -Well, all's well that ends well. 342 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:05,018 Eh, Mr. Rayberry? 343 00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:06,854 We shall see. 344 00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:09,731 -So how's this gonna work, anyway? -It's up to you. 345 00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,775 You, um, could adapt your own stories, 346 00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:15,154 or you could get a different Pep Comics writer to do it. 347 00:19:15,779 --> 00:19:16,905 Writers like you, maybe? 348 00:19:19,074 --> 00:19:21,118 It would be an honor, sir. 349 00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:25,330 I love all your stories in all the different pulp magazines. 350 00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:29,084 Weird Tales, Startling Stories, Fantastic Adventures. 351 00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:33,714 Does, uh, your old man approve of your literary aspirations? 352 00:19:33,797 --> 00:19:36,466 -Mine sure as hell didn't. -Couldn't tell you. 353 00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:40,220 Did he leave the mortal coil? I'm sorry. 354 00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:42,472 Oh, no. Uh... 355 00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:45,684 He lives in Toledo, I think. He, uh... 356 00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:50,314 There was this big, messy robbery in town a few years back, 357 00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:53,192 and he was the prime suspect. 358 00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:56,695 So he hopped on his bike and split from Riverdale. 359 00:19:58,113 --> 00:19:59,615 Have you written about that? 360 00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:03,035 No. 361 00:20:03,118 --> 00:20:03,994 You should. 362 00:20:04,828 --> 00:20:07,122 You write anything other than funny books? 363 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:10,792 Yeah. No, I write short stories, but it's been a while. 364 00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:16,048 If I wrote a short story, would you read it? 365 00:20:18,508 --> 00:20:22,054 [sighs] Crud. We were having such a swell time. 366 00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:27,100 I'm yanking your chain. [chuckles] 367 00:20:28,143 --> 00:20:29,061 Sure, I would. 368 00:20:29,144 --> 00:20:31,355 Now, pass me the ketchup, will you? 369 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:34,858 ["Lead Me Father" playing] 370 00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:38,236 ♪ When my hands are tired ♪ 371 00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:42,282 ♪ And my step is slow ♪ 372 00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:44,117 ♪ Walk beside me ♪ 373 00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:49,998 ♪ And give me the strength to go ♪ 374 00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:53,627 ♪ Fill my face with your courage ♪ 375 00:20:53,710 --> 00:20:57,839 ♪ So defeat won't show ♪ 376 00:20:57,923 --> 00:21:01,677 ♪ Pick me up when I stumble ♪ 377 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:06,181 ♪ So the world won't know ♪ 378 00:21:06,264 --> 00:21:09,518 ♪ Lead me, Father ♪ 379 00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:13,063 ♪ With the staff of life ♪ 380 00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:21,238 ♪ Give me the strength for a song ♪ 381 00:21:21,321 --> 00:21:25,033 ♪ That the words I sing ♪ 382 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:28,912 ♪ Might more strength bring ♪ 383 00:21:29,579 --> 00:21:32,916 ♪ To help some poor troubled ♪ 384 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:37,170 ♪ Weary worker along ♪ 385 00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:42,926 [Frank whistling] 386 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:47,806 Good morning. 387 00:21:47,889 --> 00:21:50,934 -I have good news for you, Archie. -What's that? 388 00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:53,562 I got you a job pumping gas at Pop's. 389 00:21:54,730 --> 00:21:57,566 That's what being man of the house means, Archie. 390 00:21:57,649 --> 00:21:59,359 Taking on multiple responsibilities. 391 00:22:04,531 --> 00:22:07,075 Jughead, this is fat city. 392 00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:10,370 We have to celebrate. Wanna go to Pop's and treat us to burgers? 393 00:22:10,454 --> 00:22:11,663 Man, I wish I could. 394 00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:14,291 But after school, I'm going over to Mr. Rayberry's house. 395 00:22:14,374 --> 00:22:16,877 I want him to read this new story I wrote. 396 00:22:21,548 --> 00:22:24,593 -Cheryl Blossom, we got a big problem. -I concur. It's Midge, right? 397 00:22:24,676 --> 00:22:27,763 No. It's you telling Evelyn Evernever that I don't like girls. 398 00:22:27,846 --> 00:22:29,389 She put down that you were lezzie. 399 00:22:29,473 --> 00:22:31,224 I defended your honor and reputation. 400 00:22:31,308 --> 00:22:32,726 That's the problem. 401 00:22:32,809 --> 00:22:35,979 You don't get to speak for me. You don't get to define me. 402 00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:37,606 You don't get to put me in a box. 403 00:22:37,689 --> 00:22:39,524 I was just trying to protect you. 404 00:22:39,608 --> 00:22:41,151 I don't need a savior. 405 00:22:41,777 --> 00:22:44,488 I'm not ashamed of who I am or who I like. 406 00:22:44,988 --> 00:22:47,157 I never have been, and I never will be. 407 00:22:47,783 --> 00:22:49,451 I don't know what you want me to say. 408 00:22:50,619 --> 00:22:51,870 I'm sorry. 409 00:22:51,953 --> 00:22:55,582 I'm done wasting my time on you, Cheryl, and I'm done with all this pussyfooting. 410 00:22:55,665 --> 00:22:59,086 So I hope that you get to wherever you're going. 411 00:22:59,169 --> 00:23:03,173 But I'm getting off this train. Life's too damn short. 412 00:23:06,134 --> 00:23:06,968 Wait, Toni. 413 00:23:14,518 --> 00:23:15,393 You're right. 414 00:23:17,104 --> 00:23:18,105 I... 415 00:23:19,397 --> 00:23:21,858 am attracted to girls. 416 00:23:22,901 --> 00:23:24,444 Well, that's a start. 417 00:23:26,822 --> 00:23:29,491 And I think maybe, um... 418 00:23:30,867 --> 00:23:33,537 I'm attracted to you. 419 00:23:34,412 --> 00:23:37,124 You think, or you know? 420 00:23:41,878 --> 00:23:43,255 I... I know. 421 00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:47,217 Finally... 422 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:50,178 we're getting somewhere. 423 00:23:51,638 --> 00:23:52,722 [Jughead] Hey, Mr. Rayberry. 424 00:23:53,431 --> 00:23:57,060 I brought a short story, some prose I wrote last night. 425 00:23:57,727 --> 00:23:59,896 Would you look at it? Just give me your 2 cents? 426 00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:02,899 Sure, but I'm not gonna pull any punches. 427 00:24:02,983 --> 00:24:04,860 Of course. Thank you. 428 00:24:04,943 --> 00:24:06,987 -[kettle whistling] -You want some tea? 429 00:24:07,696 --> 00:24:08,613 Heck, yes. 430 00:24:08,697 --> 00:24:11,449 Be right back. Make yourself comfortable. 431 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:29,885 [Rayberry humming] 432 00:24:47,235 --> 00:24:48,278 [mellow jazz music playing] 433 00:24:48,361 --> 00:24:51,364 Wait, so Kevin and Clay are also...? 434 00:24:51,448 --> 00:24:52,407 Yeah. 435 00:24:52,490 --> 00:24:56,578 But not many people know about them, so don't go around quoting it. 436 00:24:56,661 --> 00:24:58,538 No. No, of course not. 437 00:25:00,415 --> 00:25:01,875 When I was 10, 438 00:25:01,958 --> 00:25:05,212 my mother and her sister had an awful falling out. 439 00:25:05,837 --> 00:25:09,257 My Aunt Carol ended up moving to Greenwich Village to be a writer. 440 00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:13,386 My mother called her awful things, Toni. 441 00:25:14,429 --> 00:25:15,263 Like... 442 00:25:18,141 --> 00:25:20,310 a sapphic sexual deviant. 443 00:25:20,393 --> 00:25:21,311 Wow. 444 00:25:21,978 --> 00:25:24,856 That was around the time that I started realizing 445 00:25:24,940 --> 00:25:28,443 maybe I was like Aunt Carol. 446 00:25:29,861 --> 00:25:32,864 Even though I'd never get to live like her. 447 00:25:34,282 --> 00:25:35,325 Loving women. 448 00:25:37,244 --> 00:25:40,038 I knew I liked girls as much as I liked boys 449 00:25:40,121 --> 00:25:43,208 for as long as I could remember. 450 00:25:44,167 --> 00:25:46,586 My parents caught me necking 451 00:25:46,670 --> 00:25:49,047 with my neighbor Glenda when I was 13 years old. 452 00:25:49,714 --> 00:25:51,299 Then they kicked me out of the house. 453 00:25:51,383 --> 00:25:53,260 Oh, no, Toni. 454 00:25:53,343 --> 00:25:55,512 And then I moved in with my grandma. 455 00:25:57,013 --> 00:26:00,558 And I can be exactly who I wanna be. 456 00:26:01,476 --> 00:26:03,853 Your grandmother approves? 457 00:26:04,562 --> 00:26:05,730 More or less. 458 00:26:09,192 --> 00:26:12,570 I always believed if I didn't want my family to disown me, 459 00:26:12,654 --> 00:26:16,908 I would have to spend my life playing a part. 460 00:26:18,326 --> 00:26:22,872 That's what that whole thing with Archie was, a role. 461 00:26:23,915 --> 00:26:24,791 And now? 462 00:26:27,669 --> 00:26:28,795 Now... 463 00:26:30,672 --> 00:26:34,509 I'm ready for something else. 464 00:26:34,592 --> 00:26:35,844 I can dig that. 465 00:26:39,014 --> 00:26:41,182 ["Hey Speed Queen" playing over jukebox] 466 00:26:41,266 --> 00:26:44,394 ♪ Hey speed queen, looking real fine now Hey, speed queen... ♪ 467 00:26:44,477 --> 00:26:45,603 [car horn honks] 468 00:26:47,147 --> 00:26:49,357 Archie Andrews, 469 00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:52,485 Riverdale's resident grease monkey. 470 00:26:53,737 --> 00:26:56,197 -You need to fill up, Julian? -Sure do. 471 00:26:56,281 --> 00:26:58,116 And some, uh, air in the tires. 472 00:27:03,371 --> 00:27:07,500 So, Betty, is it true your parents run the television station? 473 00:27:07,584 --> 00:27:09,294 Yeah, they do. RIVW. 474 00:27:09,377 --> 00:27:12,839 How come you're not on their dance show, Riverdale Grandstand? 475 00:27:12,922 --> 00:27:16,593 Oh, I don't know, uh, it's a pretty big time commitment. 476 00:27:16,676 --> 00:27:18,803 Three hours every day after school. 477 00:27:20,013 --> 00:27:22,724 Gee, don't you like to dance? 478 00:27:24,059 --> 00:27:25,018 Of course she does. 479 00:27:26,144 --> 00:27:28,980 Anyway, what do you two cool cats like to do 480 00:27:29,064 --> 00:27:32,275 when you're not out on the town with Riverdale High's ginchiest gals? 481 00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:35,487 -[Willie] We're on the debate team. -[Walter] And the basketball team. 482 00:27:35,570 --> 00:27:38,573 -[Willie] And the Honor Society. -[Walter] And the Quill and Skull. 483 00:27:38,656 --> 00:27:39,657 [Willie] Walter! 484 00:27:47,374 --> 00:27:48,500 [Pop] Hey there, Archie. 485 00:27:48,583 --> 00:27:51,836 Thought my newest gas attendant might need a little pick-me-up. 486 00:27:52,545 --> 00:27:54,714 Yeah, you don't know the half of it, Pop. 487 00:27:54,798 --> 00:27:58,676 Heard they're getting the basketball team going again now that the war is over. 488 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:01,304 Yeah. Yeah, my uncle's the coach. 489 00:28:01,388 --> 00:28:05,100 You know, I used to watch your dad play when he was in school. 490 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:08,937 Best rebounder Riverdale High had ever seen. 491 00:28:09,020 --> 00:28:11,731 Well, he and I, we used to play a lot growing up. 492 00:28:11,815 --> 00:28:12,982 Right up until... 493 00:28:15,819 --> 00:28:17,570 he went off to the war. 494 00:28:17,654 --> 00:28:21,157 Proud of him for serving our country the way he did. 495 00:28:21,991 --> 00:28:24,077 He was a true hero. 496 00:28:24,869 --> 00:28:25,995 Yeah, he was, Pop. 497 00:28:27,163 --> 00:28:28,706 He honest to gosh was. 498 00:28:35,672 --> 00:28:37,882 [Jughead] I read until the sun came up. 499 00:28:37,966 --> 00:28:40,135 Mr. Rayberry's novel, The Jupiter Journals, 500 00:28:40,218 --> 00:28:43,388 was like Flash Gordon as if Fitzgerald had written it. 501 00:28:43,471 --> 00:28:46,474 And I couldn't believe that Mr. Rayberry was just letting it sit 502 00:28:46,558 --> 00:28:48,810 unpublished in a cardboard box. 503 00:28:49,436 --> 00:28:50,353 [Veronica] So, Betty, 504 00:28:50,979 --> 00:28:53,356 what happened when Willie walked you home last night? 505 00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:55,734 Nothing. No butterflies. 506 00:28:56,484 --> 00:29:00,447 Oh, dear. Is it that your heart's still set on Archie, do you think? 507 00:29:00,530 --> 00:29:02,282 Yes, which means I'm doomed. 508 00:29:02,365 --> 00:29:04,659 Betty, we talked about this. 509 00:29:06,119 --> 00:29:08,872 Romeo and Juliet had logistical problems, but they figured it out. 510 00:29:08,955 --> 00:29:10,665 Veronica, they both died. 511 00:29:11,458 --> 00:29:12,667 Not until Act 5. 512 00:29:13,334 --> 00:29:16,171 And only after they lost their cherries, I might add. 513 00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:20,842 Anyways, I have an idea. 514 00:29:21,634 --> 00:29:23,845 One way to get close to someone 515 00:29:23,928 --> 00:29:28,349 is by having long, meaningful, late-night conversations with them. 516 00:29:28,433 --> 00:29:31,019 So why don't you and Archie 517 00:29:31,102 --> 00:29:35,940 wait for your respective gatekeeping adults to go to sleep, 518 00:29:36,024 --> 00:29:38,735 then call each other up on the telephone. 519 00:29:39,611 --> 00:29:43,156 Start having intimate heart-to-hearts, and get to know each other that way. 520 00:29:43,239 --> 00:29:45,658 I wish, but Archie doesn't have a telephone in his bedroom. 521 00:29:45,742 --> 00:29:48,328 Shoot. Are you sure? 522 00:29:48,953 --> 00:29:51,623 I am. I can look into Archie's room from mine. 523 00:29:51,706 --> 00:29:56,377 Sorry, you can look into Archie's bedroom window from yours? 524 00:30:02,550 --> 00:30:06,763 -Does this mean you've glimpsed him--? -Yes. Many, many times. 525 00:30:08,556 --> 00:30:12,143 Betty, I think I have to see this floor show for myself. 526 00:30:13,269 --> 00:30:15,438 What time does the curtain usually go up? 527 00:30:19,484 --> 00:30:21,152 [Julian] Hey, grease monkey. 528 00:30:21,236 --> 00:30:24,697 When I got home last night, I noticed a smudge on my windshield. 529 00:30:25,281 --> 00:30:28,159 Bring it back to the station. I'll take another crack at it. 530 00:30:28,243 --> 00:30:32,455 I'll do that. In the meantime, how about you get me a soda from the cafeteria? 531 00:30:33,331 --> 00:30:34,582 Water boy. 532 00:30:34,666 --> 00:30:35,667 [all chuckling] 533 00:30:37,168 --> 00:30:38,920 Why don't you get it yourself, Julian? 534 00:30:39,003 --> 00:30:42,715 I would, but I'm saving my energy so I can obliterate your dad's record 535 00:30:42,799 --> 00:30:44,801 against Centerville this weekend. 536 00:30:44,884 --> 00:30:50,098 I mean, somebody's gotta do it. And it's clearly not gonna be-- 537 00:30:55,645 --> 00:30:56,938 [boy 1] Hey, hey! 538 00:30:57,021 --> 00:30:57,981 [boy 2] Fight! 539 00:31:02,318 --> 00:31:04,821 Mary, I just got here and I heard what happened. 540 00:31:04,904 --> 00:31:07,699 I'll talk to Featherhead and straighten out this mess. 541 00:31:07,782 --> 00:31:11,744 Back off, Frank. I'm his mother. I'll take this round. 542 00:31:15,665 --> 00:31:16,833 [blowing whistle] 543 00:31:17,333 --> 00:31:21,045 Gather up, girls. I've decided on assignments for this season. 544 00:31:21,129 --> 00:31:25,341 For starters, Toni Topaz will perch at the top our Vixens' pyramid. 545 00:31:26,384 --> 00:31:28,469 -But I'm always the flyer. -Not this year. 546 00:31:28,553 --> 00:31:31,806 -This is outrageous. -No. This is cheerleading. 547 00:31:32,932 --> 00:31:37,270 Of course, if you're feeling frosted by my leadership choices, 548 00:31:37,353 --> 00:31:40,398 you're welcome to quit, Evelyn. Immediately. 549 00:31:48,698 --> 00:31:49,532 I'll stay. 550 00:31:49,616 --> 00:31:50,992 -Sorry, what was that? -I'll stay. 551 00:31:51,075 --> 00:31:55,038 Ah. Fab. Now, on to other business. 552 00:31:57,540 --> 00:31:59,334 [Mary] Archie, tell me what's going on. 553 00:32:00,126 --> 00:32:04,213 I saw you and your father play basketball practically every day. 554 00:32:04,297 --> 00:32:08,176 You love it. So why don't you wanna play on the team? 555 00:32:09,093 --> 00:32:10,511 Is it because of Uncle Frank? 556 00:32:10,595 --> 00:32:11,429 No. 557 00:32:12,639 --> 00:32:13,890 No, it's not Frank. 558 00:32:15,266 --> 00:32:16,267 It's... 559 00:32:16,976 --> 00:32:18,645 Well, you said it, Mom. 560 00:32:19,979 --> 00:32:22,774 Basketball was something Dad and I did together. 561 00:32:23,441 --> 00:32:26,361 Whenever I walk into a gym or pick up a ball... 562 00:32:28,196 --> 00:32:32,325 I think about Dad, and suddenly it's like there's an anvil on my heart. 563 00:32:34,285 --> 00:32:36,788 And if I played, I just know all I'd be thinking 564 00:32:36,871 --> 00:32:39,832 is I wish Dad were here watching me from the stands. 565 00:32:39,916 --> 00:32:41,084 I understand. 566 00:32:42,835 --> 00:32:43,962 I wish that too. 567 00:32:46,923 --> 00:32:48,716 And then there's the other thing. 568 00:32:50,301 --> 00:32:51,594 If I played... 569 00:32:53,554 --> 00:32:55,098 what if I wasn't good enough? 570 00:32:56,683 --> 00:32:59,560 -What if I tarnished Dad's memory? -Oh, Archie. 571 00:33:00,561 --> 00:33:03,314 I know Frank suggested that your father wouldn't be proud of you, 572 00:33:03,398 --> 00:33:05,400 but that is simply not true. 573 00:33:06,234 --> 00:33:07,902 Your father would be so proud. 574 00:33:09,028 --> 00:33:12,073 Listen, you don't have to play basketball if you don't want to. 575 00:33:12,573 --> 00:33:16,577 But nothing would make your father happier than to see you play on his team. 576 00:33:17,370 --> 00:33:19,247 Maybe even wearing his number. 577 00:33:20,039 --> 00:33:21,916 Nothing would make me happier too. 578 00:33:23,626 --> 00:33:26,963 And one way or the other, I'm gonna ask Frank to ease up on you. 579 00:33:30,967 --> 00:33:31,801 [door closes] 580 00:33:31,884 --> 00:33:36,014 Mr. Rayberry, I really hope you don't get upset, but... 581 00:33:36,889 --> 00:33:38,433 I read your novel. 582 00:33:40,393 --> 00:33:42,937 Golly, I... I loved it. 583 00:33:43,021 --> 00:33:45,314 You have got to get this published. 584 00:33:45,398 --> 00:33:47,316 Uh... Just a minute. 585 00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:51,446 You... You stole my manuscript? 586 00:33:51,529 --> 00:33:52,864 Only for a night. 587 00:33:52,947 --> 00:33:56,284 You are as much of a thief as Fieldstone. 588 00:33:57,410 --> 00:34:00,538 -Oh, Mr. Rayberry, please, I-- -No. Get out of here. 589 00:34:01,497 --> 00:34:04,751 -And give me my manuscript. -Yeah. No, I'll go. 590 00:34:04,834 --> 00:34:07,253 But you have got to get this published. I can help you. 591 00:34:07,336 --> 00:34:08,796 Get out of my house. 592 00:34:18,514 --> 00:34:21,809 Pretty swinging how you gave that Evernever chick what for. 593 00:34:22,435 --> 00:34:24,854 I always strive for the best cheer team possible. 594 00:34:24,937 --> 00:34:28,816 Well, I'd like to show you my appreciation. 595 00:34:29,525 --> 00:34:30,735 Would that be okay? 596 00:34:32,111 --> 00:34:33,571 More than okay. 597 00:34:33,654 --> 00:34:35,198 ["Lover's Prayer" playing] 598 00:34:35,907 --> 00:34:38,910 ♪ Lord, show me ♪ 599 00:34:38,993 --> 00:34:44,332 ♪ If he really loves me ♪ 600 00:34:44,415 --> 00:34:48,044 ♪ Tell me, does he ♪ 601 00:34:48,127 --> 00:34:51,756 ♪ Truly care? ♪ 602 00:34:51,839 --> 00:34:54,675 ♪ If the love... ♪ 603 00:34:54,759 --> 00:35:00,014 [sighs] This isn't exactly what I imagined our stakeout would be like. 604 00:35:00,098 --> 00:35:02,225 What exactly did you imagine? 605 00:35:02,767 --> 00:35:06,687 Truthfully, Jimmy Stewart and Grace Kelly in Rear Window. 606 00:35:06,771 --> 00:35:07,980 [Betty] Hmm. 607 00:35:09,899 --> 00:35:11,651 [Veronica] Hello. 608 00:35:11,734 --> 00:35:14,487 We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming 609 00:35:14,570 --> 00:35:16,739 with an emergency flatter bum alert. 610 00:35:17,824 --> 00:35:20,034 God bless America. [chuckles] 611 00:35:20,785 --> 00:35:22,787 Stand back, Ringling Brothers, 612 00:35:22,870 --> 00:35:25,039 because this is the greatest show on earth. 613 00:35:25,706 --> 00:35:27,625 Ooh, do you have binoculars? 614 00:35:29,293 --> 00:35:33,840 Never mind. We don't even need them with the size of Archie's bulging... 615 00:35:34,423 --> 00:35:35,258 muscles. 616 00:35:36,467 --> 00:35:38,261 Mayday. Duck and cover. 617 00:35:38,344 --> 00:35:40,763 Oh, my God. I should have known. 618 00:35:41,305 --> 00:35:43,558 The same thing happened to Jimmy Stewart. 619 00:35:44,267 --> 00:35:46,644 Yeah, but at least he was trying to catch a murderer. 620 00:35:46,727 --> 00:35:49,689 We're just Peeping Pattys. [groans] 621 00:35:59,031 --> 00:36:02,243 -[Veronica] Did you get any sleep? -Not a wink. You? 622 00:36:02,326 --> 00:36:03,369 The same. 623 00:36:03,953 --> 00:36:05,329 But it gave me time to think. 624 00:36:05,413 --> 00:36:09,125 If he did see us, then he's probably just as embarrassed as we are 625 00:36:09,208 --> 00:36:11,002 and won't say a word about it. 626 00:36:11,752 --> 00:36:16,799 I mean, it's positively shameless the way he struts around like a peacock, 627 00:36:16,883 --> 00:36:19,594 flashing those absurd abdominal muscles of his. 628 00:36:19,677 --> 00:36:20,803 [Archie clears throat] 629 00:36:22,513 --> 00:36:23,514 Howdy, ladies. 630 00:36:24,473 --> 00:36:27,143 -How's it going? -Archie, good morning. 631 00:36:28,603 --> 00:36:31,147 Veronica, would you mind giving Betty and I a minute? 632 00:36:31,772 --> 00:36:33,232 In private? 633 00:36:36,569 --> 00:36:40,072 Of course. Betty, we'll catch up anon. 634 00:36:40,156 --> 00:36:41,199 Archie... 635 00:36:43,117 --> 00:36:44,118 Keep up the good work. 636 00:36:52,543 --> 00:36:56,172 So I... saw you... 637 00:36:57,048 --> 00:36:58,466 and Veronica last night. 638 00:37:00,051 --> 00:37:00,968 Looking at me. 639 00:37:03,387 --> 00:37:05,890 Sorry, I don't know what you're talking about. 640 00:37:05,973 --> 00:37:07,558 Betty, it's okay. 641 00:37:09,352 --> 00:37:10,228 I liked it. 642 00:37:11,187 --> 00:37:14,398 You know, my uncle's got me real busy during the day, 643 00:37:15,441 --> 00:37:18,069 but every night I end up in my room. 644 00:37:21,030 --> 00:37:25,701 Every night I end up in my bedroom too. 645 00:37:26,661 --> 00:37:28,913 What if we ended up in our bedrooms... 646 00:37:29,538 --> 00:37:31,290 at the same time? 647 00:37:32,083 --> 00:37:35,211 And looked at each other? 648 00:37:37,463 --> 00:37:40,633 How about tonight? Say, midnight? 649 00:37:42,468 --> 00:37:44,136 Yeah. I'll be there. 650 00:37:44,220 --> 00:37:45,721 Same. 651 00:37:46,639 --> 00:37:50,643 And I'll be wearing something special. 652 00:37:53,479 --> 00:37:54,772 Okay. 653 00:37:56,023 --> 00:37:59,402 All right. Well, I gotta run to the gym, Betty, but, uh, I... 654 00:38:00,152 --> 00:38:01,279 I sure am excited. 655 00:38:02,446 --> 00:38:06,534 -Betty, I'm really excited. -[chuckles] Me too. Like, beyond excited. 656 00:38:17,878 --> 00:38:21,132 Hey, water boy, stay on the sidelines. Court's for players only. 657 00:38:21,799 --> 00:38:24,176 Good. 'Cause I'm here to play. 658 00:38:26,220 --> 00:38:28,389 You can't just let him on the team, coach. 659 00:38:28,973 --> 00:38:30,850 How do we even know if he's any good? 660 00:38:38,774 --> 00:38:40,151 Any other questions? 661 00:38:41,652 --> 00:38:44,280 All right, then. Let's keep warming up. 662 00:38:48,576 --> 00:38:53,414 I'm not doing this for you, Uncle Frank. I'm doing this for myself, and for my mom. 663 00:38:54,457 --> 00:38:55,541 And my dad. 664 00:38:56,709 --> 00:38:58,127 I respect that, Archie. 665 00:39:01,213 --> 00:39:05,509 Dr. Werthers, I confiscated this from Dilton Doiley today. 666 00:39:07,345 --> 00:39:10,348 It is like fighting a hydra, Mrs. Thornton. 667 00:39:10,431 --> 00:39:13,184 Cut off one head, another grows in its place. 668 00:39:13,893 --> 00:39:14,727 Yes. 669 00:39:14,810 --> 00:39:18,689 Except this particular head was written by one of our students. 670 00:39:18,773 --> 00:39:20,274 Jughead Jones. 671 00:39:20,357 --> 00:39:21,859 ["Smoke Rings" playing] 672 00:39:21,942 --> 00:39:24,737 ♪ Tell me, where do they go ♪ 673 00:39:25,279 --> 00:39:32,119 ♪ Those smoke rings I blow each night? ♪ 674 00:39:36,123 --> 00:39:38,918 ♪ What do they do ♪ 675 00:39:39,251 --> 00:39:44,632 ♪ Those circles of blue and white? ♪ 676 00:39:50,054 --> 00:39:53,182 ♪ Why do they seem ♪ 677 00:39:53,265 --> 00:39:59,105 ♪ To picture a dream of love? ♪ 678 00:39:59,188 --> 00:40:00,815 [clock ticking] 679 00:40:03,776 --> 00:40:06,695 ♪ Why do they fade ♪ 680 00:40:06,779 --> 00:40:11,909 ♪ My phantom parade of love? ♪ 681 00:40:17,456 --> 00:40:21,377 ♪ Puff, puff, puff ♪ 682 00:40:22,420 --> 00:40:28,134 ♪ Puff your cares away ♪ 683 00:40:31,011 --> 00:40:35,683 ♪ Puff, puff, puff ♪ 684 00:40:35,766 --> 00:40:40,146 ♪ Night and day ♪ 685 00:40:44,316 --> 00:40:49,280 ♪ Blow, blow them through the air ♪ 686 00:40:49,363 --> 00:40:53,159 ♪ Silky little rings ♪ 687 00:40:56,495 --> 00:41:01,041 ♪ Those little smoke rings I love ♪ 688 00:41:02,126 --> 00:41:06,839 ♪ Please take me above with you ♪ 689 00:41:37,912 --> 00:41:42,208 ♪ Blow, blow them through the air ♪ 690 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:46,378 ♪ Silky little rings... ♪ 691 00:41:47,338 --> 00:41:48,881 Betty-- 692 00:41:48,964 --> 00:41:51,759 What in the actual hell is going on here? 693 00:41:51,842 --> 00:41:54,094 What in God's name are you doing? n here?