1 00:00:01,543 --> 00:00:04,713 [Betty] To all the subscribers of The Teenage Mystique, 2 00:00:04,796 --> 00:00:06,923 something happened to me. 3 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:10,135 And I've read your stories and watched so many people be wronged, 4 00:00:10,218 --> 00:00:12,887 so I can't hold back any longer. 5 00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:16,224 All I wanted to do was understand my authentic self, 6 00:00:16,307 --> 00:00:18,935 my desires, my place in the world. 7 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,396 Because of that, I was forced to be a cheerleader. 8 00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:24,315 I was put into therapy. My private diaries were read. 9 00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:25,984 I was demeaned. 10 00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:29,738 I am not your mother anymore. 11 00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:32,282 [Betty] And then I was... 12 00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:34,951 slapped. 13 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:41,666 Well, I'm finally going to tell the truth. 14 00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,501 This is my manifesto. 15 00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:47,297 My book, The Collected and Expanded Teenage Mystique. 16 00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:49,883 Every thought I've ever had uncensored. 17 00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:52,802 Only the truth will be allowed in these pages. 18 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,388 The truth about being a teenager. 19 00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:56,848 Our stories. 20 00:00:56,931 --> 00:01:01,603 And if it burns this small-minded town to the ground, well, so be it. 21 00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:05,106 So how do you wanna do this? 22 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:08,359 Wanna go in first, and I mosey on in 30 seconds later? 23 00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:10,278 Absolutely not. 24 00:01:10,361 --> 00:01:12,530 Veronica Lodge's signature color may be purple, 25 00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:14,949 but she's no shrinking violet. 26 00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,201 So come on. 27 00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:19,496 Let's give these cubes something juicy to goss about. 28 00:01:19,996 --> 00:01:21,664 ["Come On" playing] 29 00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:22,582 ♪ So young ♪ 30 00:01:22,665 --> 00:01:23,625 -♪ So fine ♪ -♪ So fine ♪ 31 00:01:23,708 --> 00:01:26,544 -♪ Won't you be mine? ♪ -♪ Won't you be mine? ♪ 32 00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:28,254 -♪ Come on ♪ -♪ Go steady with me ♪ 33 00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:30,882 -♪ Girl, come on ♪ -♪ Go steady with me ♪ 34 00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:35,345 ♪ Whoa, we're gonna have a lot of fun And you just wait and see ♪ 35 00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:36,721 ♪ Just you wait and see ♪ 36 00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,765 -♪ Whoa, I like ♪ -♪ I like ♪ 37 00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:40,058 -♪ The way ♪ -♪ The way ♪ 38 00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:43,102 -♪ You smile at me ♪ -♪ You smile at me ♪ 39 00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:44,646 -♪ Come on ♪ -♪ Go steady with me ♪ 40 00:01:44,729 --> 00:01:47,190 -♪ Girl, come on ♪ -♪ Go steady with me ♪ 41 00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:51,736 ♪ Whoa, we're gonna have a lot of fun And you just wait and see ♪ 42 00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:54,781 Wowza, never had so many peepers on me at one time. 43 00:01:54,864 --> 00:01:57,867 Well, if it's any consolation, I haven't gotten this much attention 44 00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:00,411 since I arrived to school wearing my sexy witch costume. 45 00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:05,250 Sexy witch costume? 46 00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:06,793 Jughead Jones, 47 00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:09,546 do you have a thing for sexy teen witches? 48 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,507 Well, yes. Yes, I do. 49 00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:14,592 But I also know a boss idea when I hear one, 50 00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:17,053 and sexy teen witch is a very boss idea. 51 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:20,807 Hmm. Well, glad to have inspired something. 52 00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:24,018 Catch you later, alligator. 53 00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:32,819 So, what do you think, Mrs. Grundy? 54 00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:34,028 Archie... 55 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:37,031 this latest poem is... 56 00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:39,159 excellent. 57 00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:42,036 It's so much more mature than your earlier work. 58 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,080 It's like you grew up overnight. 59 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,291 -What happened? -I... 60 00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:52,380 Well, I watched the sunrise, like you suggested. 61 00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:55,091 Among other things. 62 00:02:55,174 --> 00:02:57,343 Well, keep doing whatever it is you're doing. 63 00:02:57,927 --> 00:03:00,722 I am definitely going back-- 64 00:03:00,805 --> 00:03:03,641 I'll definitely do that. 65 00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:08,104 -Just keep at it, like you said. -[school bell ringing] 66 00:03:08,187 --> 00:03:09,939 ["Fine Little Baby" playing] 67 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,274 [students chattering] 68 00:03:14,193 --> 00:03:18,531 ♪ Well, my baby boogies When the sun is shinin' ♪ 69 00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:22,410 ♪ She likes to make it When there ain't no time ♪ 70 00:03:22,493 --> 00:03:25,705 ♪ When she do, do what she do... ♪ 71 00:03:26,956 --> 00:03:27,957 Morning, class. 72 00:03:29,792 --> 00:03:32,754 ♪ One fine rockin' time ♪ 73 00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:35,215 ♪ Fine, fine, fine ♪ 74 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,800 ♪ Well, it's a fine little girl... ♪ 75 00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:40,303 [Julian] Come on. 76 00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:41,888 -You're yanking my chain, Mantle. -Shh. 77 00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:43,431 Cool it. 78 00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:44,599 Not so loud. 79 00:03:44,682 --> 00:03:46,351 You and Andrews? 80 00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:48,186 At the same time? 81 00:03:48,269 --> 00:03:49,187 Andrews. 82 00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:55,026 Is it true? You and Reg took a ride on the town bicycle, Twyla Twyst? 83 00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,780 And you're going back for seconds? 84 00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:01,366 [Julian chuckles] 85 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:03,409 [Julian whistles] 86 00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:06,245 [Betty] And another thing, dear readers. I'm sick of the double standard 87 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,665 that celebrates boys for their sexual conquests 88 00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:11,376 and punishes girls for wanting the same. 89 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,963 Cheryl. I'm sorry. 90 00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:21,970 What are these? 91 00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:29,227 Hey, those pictures are amazing. 92 00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:31,896 Are they from a private collection of yours? 93 00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:38,569 I could try and spin some story, Betty, but I'm tired of lying. 94 00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:42,657 The truth is, I am going steady with Toni Topaz. 95 00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:44,617 Oh. 96 00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:47,078 Oh, yeah, well, that makes sense. 97 00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:49,580 Just try to use it against me. I double dog dare you. 98 00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,416 Oh, Cheryl, don't worry. I... 99 00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:56,129 I'm the Girl Next Door. I write The Teenage Mystique. 100 00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:59,048 What? I love The Teenage Mystique. 101 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:02,301 -The Girl Next Door's advice is tops. -Oh. 102 00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:03,970 It's an honor to meet you. 103 00:05:04,053 --> 00:05:05,680 -Likewise. -[chuckles] 104 00:05:06,514 --> 00:05:08,891 What are you doing with those amazing pictures? 105 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,520 I was going to submit them to Femme-And-In magazine 106 00:05:12,603 --> 00:05:14,355 to come out in the most unabashed way, 107 00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,441 and blow the lid off of my parents' world. 108 00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:19,277 That's what I'm trying with the book version of The Teenage Mystique. 109 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:20,862 That's radioactive. 110 00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:24,741 It is, and, actually, a story like yours and Toni's, 111 00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:29,162 written by you in your words, would be swell to include. 112 00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:32,957 Maybe accompanied by some of those pictures? 113 00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:37,128 I'd have to talk to Toni, but yes, Betty. 114 00:05:37,211 --> 00:05:38,713 The pages of The Teenage Mystique 115 00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:42,133 might just be the perfect forum for our coming out to the world. 116 00:05:42,216 --> 00:05:43,468 Excellent. 117 00:05:45,636 --> 00:05:46,763 Cheryl, 118 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:49,599 do you think you and Toni would be willing 119 00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:56,397 to take pictures like yours of me, possibly, for my book cover? 120 00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:59,776 Absolutely. We can do a photo session, then you can pick your favorite, 121 00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:03,279 and I can turn it into a luxurious, supple oil painting 122 00:06:03,362 --> 00:06:04,697 for your book's cover. 123 00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:16,584 [swaggering jazz music playing] 124 00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:36,020 [Veronica] I have to tell you, 125 00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:40,525 this is the bee's knees, Jughead. I didn't realize you could draw too. 126 00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:42,652 [Jughead] Well, I'm no Ethel Muggs, 127 00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:46,197 but I think this brain egg could be the thing to save Pep Comics. 128 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,950 Mr. Fieldstone is looking for a fresh breakout character 129 00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:51,244 to get past the code and bring in new readership, 130 00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:54,956 and I think it's Veronica the teenage witch. 131 00:06:56,457 --> 00:06:58,501 Veronica, you're not gonna believe who's here. 132 00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:02,672 Ms. Josie McCoy. 133 00:07:04,423 --> 00:07:06,801 The famous chanteuse? 134 00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:09,971 The founder of the Black American Theater Project? 135 00:07:10,054 --> 00:07:12,014 The newly minted Tony winner? 136 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:13,558 [chuckles] In the flesh and fur. 137 00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:15,977 To what do we owe this honor? 138 00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:18,271 I've heard about your theater, Ms. Lodge. 139 00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:21,065 I've heard you're not afraid to shake things up. 140 00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:24,402 I've built an entire career out of shaking things up. 141 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:28,364 You may have heard I've been working on a major motion picture. 142 00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:30,700 Hush-hush. You understand? 143 00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:41,335 I have heard rumors that your Broadway smash Going Uptown 144 00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:44,213 is being turned into a movie musical, yes. 145 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:45,798 The rumors are true. 146 00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:49,802 A movie musical I wrote, directed, produced, and starred in. 147 00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:53,681 You've always been the definition of a Renaissance woman. 148 00:07:53,764 --> 00:07:57,185 Well, then you know Josie McCoy is a perfectionist. 149 00:07:57,268 --> 00:08:00,229 This is my first motion picture, you understand. 150 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,815 I'm still in the middle of my process, still tinkering. 151 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:05,026 Close friends have seen early cuts, 152 00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:07,987 but I need to know how it plays out in front of a real audience, 153 00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:11,616 far from the prying eyes of my partners at Pasadena Pictures. 154 00:08:11,699 --> 00:08:15,495 I don't need a bunch of starched suits mucking things up, 155 00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:18,539 and second-guessing my every creative choice. 156 00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:21,501 Not until I have proof positive. 157 00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:25,505 Say, filled out questionnaires from a test screening. 158 00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:27,757 Possibly at your theater, Ms. Lodge. 159 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,675 If it's up to my standards. 160 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:32,011 [dramatic music playing on-screen] 161 00:08:32,094 --> 00:08:34,555 [crowd applauding and cheering on-screen] 162 00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:51,656 [Veronica] Can I just say... 163 00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:55,576 your movie is a surefire hit. 164 00:08:55,660 --> 00:09:00,665 And you, Ms. McCoy, have made the leap to bona fide movie star. 165 00:09:01,165 --> 00:09:02,333 Cheers. 166 00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:06,963 But why bother with the test screenings? 167 00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:08,214 Let's just have ourselves 168 00:09:08,297 --> 00:09:10,341 a good old-fashioned red carpet movie premiere 169 00:09:10,424 --> 00:09:11,801 and blow the roof off. 170 00:09:11,884 --> 00:09:14,470 As I said, I'm still tinkering. 171 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,013 But why tinker with perfection? 172 00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:18,933 You know how skittish studio executives can be. 173 00:09:19,016 --> 00:09:21,477 Unfortunately, all too well. 174 00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:23,479 I've dealt with my fair share. 175 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,607 -They're fear-driven creatures. -Exactly. 176 00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:29,777 All right, then. Let's give them the proof they need. 177 00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:33,447 I know the drill. We'll hand out surveys at the end of our test screening. 178 00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:35,324 One moment, Ms. Lodge. 179 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:40,329 Your theater might be up to snuff, if slightly smaller than I'd hoped, 180 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:43,124 but I need to make certain that the seats at my screening 181 00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:46,085 won't be filled with rubes and blue-hairs. 182 00:09:46,168 --> 00:09:48,087 I need to get a lay of the land. 183 00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:51,757 See if Riverdale's as hep a town as I've been led to believe. 184 00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,384 Oh, we're hep. 185 00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:55,678 But don't take my word for it. 186 00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:58,097 Kevin, Clay, and I can show you around. 187 00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:01,017 Why don't we meet up tomorrow at 8 for a tour? 188 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,144 Eight? In the morning? 189 00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:05,730 Oh, no, no, no. 190 00:10:05,813 --> 00:10:08,190 I, my dear, am a creature of the night. 191 00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:10,568 I roll out of bed leisurely, 192 00:10:10,651 --> 00:10:13,112 and start drinking espresso at 3 in the afternoon. 193 00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:16,240 You will see me at dusk, and not a moment sooner. 194 00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:18,826 Well, there are a few hotels in town, 195 00:10:18,909 --> 00:10:22,371 but why don't you stay with me at The Pembrooke? 196 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:25,625 It's sort of like The Plaza by way of The Dakota. 197 00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:28,210 Can I take you there and get you settled? 198 00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,420 Hmm. 199 00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:31,922 I like you, Ms. Lodge. 200 00:10:33,841 --> 00:10:37,011 I think we're going to get on just fine. 201 00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:46,771 Hi, Ms. Twyst. 202 00:10:46,854 --> 00:10:47,980 [chuckles] 203 00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:53,027 I, uh, was hoping that maybe we could see each other again. 204 00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:55,946 Oh, yeah. I remember you now. 205 00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:57,615 [both chuckling] 206 00:10:57,698 --> 00:11:00,076 Well, you got it wrong, Red. 207 00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:03,162 You see, Twyla's happy to help a fella out of a rut, 208 00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:04,830 but she doesn't do long-term. 209 00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,582 Especially not with puppy dogs. 210 00:11:06,665 --> 00:11:09,877 Uh, but I really need the experience. 211 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:10,920 If that's the case, 212 00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:13,714 Lord knows there's gotta be some hot older mama 213 00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:16,717 who'd love to take a bite out of a Red Delicious like yourself. 214 00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:18,302 You dig? 215 00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:19,887 ["No Doubt About It" playing] 216 00:11:21,555 --> 00:11:25,059 ♪ No doubt about it I really think you're fine... ♪ 217 00:11:25,142 --> 00:11:26,602 [doorbell rings] 218 00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:32,817 ♪ I'll shout all about it Tell the world you're mine... ♪ 219 00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:33,859 [Toni] Okay, you ready? 220 00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:35,528 Yes. 221 00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:38,155 One, two, three. 222 00:11:40,991 --> 00:11:43,202 So pretty. Okay, let's do a few more. 223 00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:46,705 -♪ No doubt about it ♪ -♪ Ooh, baby ♪ 224 00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,082 [camera clicking] 225 00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:03,681 Hey, Veronica. Can I talk to you for a second? 226 00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:06,725 Word from the bird is that Josie McCoy's in town, 227 00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:09,854 and you might be bringing her to the Dark Room's open mic tonight. 228 00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:14,442 My, gossip travels fast in this town, doesn't it? 229 00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:18,404 If that's the case, my boy Fangs here is going to perform. 230 00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:21,365 If he and Midge are gonna make a go of it, he needs a big break. 231 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:23,617 One that Josie might be able to provide. 232 00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:27,246 Do you think Ms. McCoy would be willing to pick up what I'm putting down? 233 00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:30,499 Now, I can't speak for Ms. McCoy, of course, 234 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:34,420 but if there's one thing a star like her recognizes, it's talent. 235 00:12:38,215 --> 00:12:39,758 [Archie] Good morning, Mrs. Grundy. 236 00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:41,260 I brought you something. 237 00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:44,054 That is so sweet. Thank you. 238 00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:46,307 And Red Delicious is my favorite. 239 00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:48,851 Actually, I wanted to let you know 240 00:12:49,643 --> 00:12:52,688 I'm performing a new poem I wrote at the Dark Room tonight. 241 00:12:52,771 --> 00:12:56,025 Yeah, I'd really be jazzed if you could make it and hear it. 242 00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:59,612 Well, I'm touched that you would think of me. 243 00:12:59,695 --> 00:13:03,491 And, yes, of course I will be there. Anything for my favorite student. 244 00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:08,746 [Jughead] She's bewitching. She casts spells. 245 00:13:08,829 --> 00:13:12,500 Nothing harmful or offensive, of course. But mostly she's a high school student. 246 00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:15,961 She goes to class, does her homework, gets into romantic trouble. 247 00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:19,423 You know, good old-fashioned wholesome vampy campy fun. 248 00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:22,426 -What do you think? -I think if she's gonna stand 249 00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:25,387 a snowball's chance in hell of getting past the tribunal, 250 00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:28,307 we're gonna have to sand the edges a little bit. 251 00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:30,226 They hear the word "witch," 252 00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:32,394 they're gonna be going for their pitchforks. 253 00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:35,940 -Teenage witch. -I'm not saying we ditch the concept. 254 00:13:36,023 --> 00:13:37,441 I'm just saying... 255 00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:40,778 I don't know. Make her a half-witch. 256 00:13:40,861 --> 00:13:44,365 You'll have to get her out of this getup. Too much cleavage. 257 00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:47,117 -And make her a blond. -Blond? 258 00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:50,496 -You'll have to come up with a new name. -New name? 259 00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:54,208 Yeah. "Veronica"? Reminds me of Veronica Lake. 260 00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:57,670 Too sexy. Too dangerous. Too curvy. 261 00:13:57,753 --> 00:14:00,381 Trust me, if it's gonna pass muster 262 00:14:00,464 --> 00:14:02,383 with those prudes over at the tribunal, 263 00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:05,219 well, it has to be something sweeter. 264 00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:06,887 You know? I don't know, magical. 265 00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:24,780 Now you pick the one you like the most, 266 00:14:24,863 --> 00:14:26,532 and I will paint it. 267 00:14:27,157 --> 00:14:31,036 That way, we'll get the exact look you want for your book's cover. 268 00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:39,753 What's the hiccup? Are you displeased? 269 00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:42,006 No. I'm so glad that I'm coming out 270 00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:44,717 as the voice behind The Teenage Mystique. 271 00:14:46,051 --> 00:14:50,014 Just can't help feeling a little bit like a fraud. 272 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,558 Dressing in lingerie, writing about sex, 273 00:14:52,641 --> 00:14:58,063 when I haven't experienced anything even remotely sexually satisfying myself. 274 00:14:58,147 --> 00:15:00,733 -What do you mean? -[sighs] I mean... 275 00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:05,487 everyone I know is having, or has had sex. 276 00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,114 I'm the only teenager in the world 277 00:15:07,197 --> 00:15:09,867 who can't seem to find someone to go there with me. 278 00:15:10,659 --> 00:15:15,122 Betty, you do know a woman doesn't need anyone 279 00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:17,082 to be sexually satisfied? 280 00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:19,543 She can... 281 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:21,754 do it on her own. 282 00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:25,007 I did read about self-pleasure in Kingsley's book, 283 00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:27,468 but it wasn't exactly a how-to manual. 284 00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:29,345 I see. 285 00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:31,305 However... 286 00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:39,438 this particularly illuminating issue of Femme-And-In magazine 287 00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:41,732 might be exactly what the doctor ordered. 288 00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:43,901 And I certainly don't mean Werthers. 289 00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:47,905 Turns out, all a woman needs to be sexually satisfied 290 00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:53,619 is a bathtub, a bathroom with a lock on it, and... 291 00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:58,248 shall we say, a helping hand. 292 00:15:59,708 --> 00:16:02,670 [Veronica] Veronica the Teenage Witch is too sexy, you say? 293 00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:04,213 I mean, he's not wrong. 294 00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:07,049 I am cut from the same cloth as Veronica Lake, 295 00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:11,470 and therefore, too provocative for those feebleminded censors. 296 00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:12,638 It's their loss. 297 00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:16,058 On top of which, I have to figure out a new name, 298 00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:17,726 something more magical. 299 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,895 Hey, did you happen to see 300 00:16:19,978 --> 00:16:22,356 that Audrey Hepburn picture that came out last year? 301 00:16:22,439 --> 00:16:25,234 Her character had a superb name in that. 302 00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:27,820 What was that movie called again? 303 00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:30,572 Sabrina. Audrey played the title character. 304 00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:32,866 Sabrina? Yeah. 305 00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:36,036 Yeah, that could be the ticket. 306 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:37,913 [jazz music playing] 307 00:16:42,751 --> 00:16:44,461 In the bloom of Eden's garden 308 00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:47,256 The first transgression 309 00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:50,384 A simple apple, Eve learned her lesson 310 00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:55,597 Different garden, same temptation 311 00:16:57,349 --> 00:17:00,769 A young man seeking an education 312 00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:07,317 A teacher's pupil brings her apples 313 00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:09,987 And sinful thoughts with which he grapples 314 00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:13,866 While she teaches, he sits through classes 315 00:17:13,949 --> 00:17:18,078 Wondering how she looks Without those glasses 316 00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:19,663 [audience murmuring] 317 00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:31,508 Jeepers, Archie, that was kind of off the cob. 318 00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:35,095 Better luck next time, champ. 319 00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:36,513 [audience snapping fingers] 320 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:40,768 If that's what passes for art in Riverdale, 321 00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:42,186 I don't think this will work. 322 00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:43,395 Just wait, Josie. 323 00:17:43,479 --> 00:17:46,356 There's another act coming up that will have you purring. 324 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,816 [Toni] Well, it's official. 325 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,944 After that poem, this is the iciest room on the Eastern Seaboard. 326 00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:52,154 No worries, though. 327 00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:54,490 Give it up for my boy, 328 00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:56,200 Fangs Fogarty! 329 00:17:56,283 --> 00:17:58,202 -Whoo! -[applauding] 330 00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:03,290 ♪ You shake my nerves And you rattle my brain ♪ 331 00:18:03,373 --> 00:18:06,001 ♪ Too much love drives a man insane ♪ 332 00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:07,878 ♪ You broke my will ♪ 333 00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:09,546 ♪ But what a thrill ♪ 334 00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:12,716 ♪ Goodness gracious Great balls of fire! ♪ 335 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,219 ♪ I laughed at love 'Cause I thought it was funny ♪ 336 00:18:15,302 --> 00:18:17,888 ♪ You came along and moved me, honey ♪ 337 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,308 ♪ I've changed my mind This love is fine ♪ 338 00:18:21,391 --> 00:18:23,769 ♪ Goodness gracious Great balls of fire! ♪ 339 00:18:23,852 --> 00:18:28,440 [Betty] "The only person you need to know how to please is yourself." 340 00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:29,691 ♪ Feels good ♪ 341 00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:31,944 ♪ Hold me, baby ♪ 342 00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:36,323 ♪ Well, I'm off to love you Like a lover should ♪ 343 00:18:36,406 --> 00:18:38,700 ♪ You're fine, so kind ♪ 344 00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:42,287 ♪ Got to tell this world That you're mine, mine, mine, mine ♪ 345 00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:44,915 ♪ I chew my nails And I twiddle my thumbs ♪ 346 00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:48,001 ♪ I'm real nervous, but it sure is fun ♪ 347 00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:51,296 ♪ Come on, baby, drive me crazy ♪ 348 00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:54,383 ♪ Goodness gracious Great balls of fire! ♪ 349 00:18:56,051 --> 00:19:00,264 ♪ Well, kiss me, baby ♪ 350 00:19:01,014 --> 00:19:04,309 ♪ Ooh! Feels good ♪ 351 00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:06,395 ♪ Hold me, baby ♪ 352 00:19:06,895 --> 00:19:10,482 ♪ Well, I still love you Like a lover should ♪ 353 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:13,694 ♪ You're fine, so kind ♪ 354 00:19:13,777 --> 00:19:16,822 ♪ Got to tell this world That you're mine, mine, mine ♪ 355 00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:19,908 ♪ I chew my nails And I twiddle my thumbs ♪ 356 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,661 ♪ Real nervous, but it sure is fun ♪ 357 00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:24,163 ♪ Come on, baby ♪ 358 00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:25,747 ♪ Drive me crazy ♪ 359 00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:28,917 ♪ Goodness gracious Great balls of fire! ♪ 360 00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:30,961 [crowd cheering] 361 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:45,058 What did I tell you? 362 00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:47,102 -Hep, no? -Hmm. 363 00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:51,190 Rock 'n' roll isn't my genre, of course, but... 364 00:19:52,107 --> 00:19:53,859 he has something. 365 00:19:53,942 --> 00:19:56,820 Touch of star quality, and that's more than most. 366 00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:58,947 Let me ask you, 367 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:01,116 how is he on the bongos? Do you know? 368 00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:03,285 To my knowledge, 369 00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:06,538 there is no better bongo player in Riverdale. 370 00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:08,624 Why? 371 00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:10,083 [jazz music playing] 372 00:20:26,141 --> 00:20:28,352 Have you heard that us females 373 00:20:28,977 --> 00:20:30,854 Are a feline breed? 374 00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:33,565 That kittens purr 375 00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:36,526 According to its needs? 376 00:20:37,277 --> 00:20:38,904 That some cats will fall 377 00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:41,949 For a Riviera ball 378 00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:44,534 Or for the Taj Mahal 379 00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:47,454 Or for anything at all 380 00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:55,545 Like diamonds 381 00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:01,468 Or a painted picket fence 382 00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:03,136 But me? 383 00:21:04,346 --> 00:21:06,765 I make a different kind of sense 384 00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:13,355 I'm a different kind of cat 385 00:21:13,855 --> 00:21:15,232 [boy] You feel that groove? 386 00:21:16,233 --> 00:21:18,235 I like love 387 00:21:19,152 --> 00:21:20,946 And that is that 388 00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:25,075 I'm not Persian or Angora 389 00:21:26,910 --> 00:21:28,203 I'm in a... 390 00:21:30,539 --> 00:21:32,165 Different category 391 00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:35,335 I'm a... 392 00:21:39,047 --> 00:21:41,049 Different kind of cat 393 00:21:43,385 --> 00:21:45,762 I like love 394 00:21:49,933 --> 00:21:51,393 And that is that 395 00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:57,733 [cheering] 396 00:22:16,752 --> 00:22:17,586 [Veronica] Well, 397 00:22:18,503 --> 00:22:20,797 it's almost dawn, Ms. McCoy, 398 00:22:20,881 --> 00:22:22,382 and we're all still here. 399 00:22:22,466 --> 00:22:24,676 So, what do you say? 400 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:28,138 Is Riverdale hep enough for a test screening of Going Uptown? 401 00:22:30,348 --> 00:22:31,308 Let's do it. 402 00:22:31,892 --> 00:22:33,018 [Toni chuckles] 403 00:22:33,101 --> 00:22:36,646 Ms. McCoy, at the risk of overstepping... 404 00:22:38,398 --> 00:22:41,068 Would you also possibly consider attending a meeting 405 00:22:41,151 --> 00:22:43,195 of Black Athena at Riverdale High? 406 00:22:43,278 --> 00:22:46,323 It would mean so much to our members to meet a Black icon like you. 407 00:22:46,406 --> 00:22:49,993 Ooh, I like the sound of that, but what exactly is Black Athena? 408 00:22:50,077 --> 00:22:53,538 It's a literary society I started for the Black students of Riverdale High. 409 00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:58,085 Hmm. Now that's something Josie McCoy can certainly get behind. 410 00:23:04,257 --> 00:23:05,092 Archie. 411 00:23:05,175 --> 00:23:06,301 Mrs. Grundy. 412 00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:12,516 We didn't get a chance to talk last night after my poem. 413 00:23:12,599 --> 00:23:14,601 No, I had to rush home. 414 00:23:15,352 --> 00:23:18,563 My husband was expecting me for a late dinner. 415 00:23:18,647 --> 00:23:19,606 Oh. 416 00:23:20,982 --> 00:23:21,817 Okay. 417 00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:24,569 Well, what did you think? 418 00:23:25,195 --> 00:23:26,613 I think... 419 00:23:28,740 --> 00:23:30,200 We need to switch gears. 420 00:23:31,493 --> 00:23:34,287 Love poems are all well and good, 421 00:23:34,371 --> 00:23:38,625 but I would like you to branch out. 422 00:23:40,502 --> 00:23:41,336 Oh, okay. 423 00:23:43,213 --> 00:23:44,047 Sure. 424 00:23:46,049 --> 00:23:48,593 Okay. Anything you want, Mrs. Grundy. 425 00:23:48,677 --> 00:23:51,054 I want you to write about pain. 426 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:55,433 Physical pain, emotional pain, psychological pain. 427 00:23:56,726 --> 00:23:59,020 "What is my most painful experience?" 428 00:23:59,896 --> 00:24:01,606 And write about that. 429 00:24:04,734 --> 00:24:10,240 And let's take young heartbreak off the table as a topic. 430 00:24:11,449 --> 00:24:12,534 Okay? 431 00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:25,714 I was so inspired I stayed up all night. 432 00:24:25,797 --> 00:24:26,882 So did I. 433 00:24:27,549 --> 00:24:29,426 So was I. 434 00:24:29,509 --> 00:24:30,677 [clears throat] 435 00:24:32,012 --> 00:24:33,889 Do you hate it? I can adjust anything. 436 00:24:33,972 --> 00:24:36,016 -The background color-- -No, don't. 437 00:24:37,017 --> 00:24:38,977 Don't change anything. 438 00:24:42,439 --> 00:24:43,565 It's beautiful. 439 00:24:44,774 --> 00:24:46,067 Silly goose. 440 00:24:48,278 --> 00:24:49,988 You're beautiful. 441 00:24:56,745 --> 00:24:57,996 [Fieldstone laughs] 442 00:24:59,039 --> 00:25:01,708 Kid, I gotta say, I love this. 443 00:25:02,417 --> 00:25:04,085 I think you've struck gold here. 444 00:25:04,169 --> 00:25:07,214 Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Now that's a title. 445 00:25:07,297 --> 00:25:10,634 I'm gonna send this off to the tribunal for review, stat. 446 00:25:11,384 --> 00:25:12,594 But congratulations, kid. 447 00:25:12,677 --> 00:25:15,597 I think this cutie patootie half-witch of yours 448 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:18,558 is gonna single-handedly save Pep Comics 449 00:25:18,642 --> 00:25:20,435 from the dustbin of obscurity. 450 00:25:24,522 --> 00:25:26,441 [Clay] She's a woman who needs no introduction. 451 00:25:27,067 --> 00:25:30,487 Josie McCoy's impact reaches beyond the stage 452 00:25:30,570 --> 00:25:32,948 and into the very fabric of our culture. 453 00:25:33,031 --> 00:25:36,117 I know you're all familiar with the breadth of her incredible work, 454 00:25:36,201 --> 00:25:39,204 but let's dive a little deeper, shall we? 455 00:25:40,622 --> 00:25:41,790 Tracy? 456 00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:45,627 You are unapologetically you, Ms. McCoy. 457 00:25:47,128 --> 00:25:51,800 But as someone representing, well, all of us, 458 00:25:51,883 --> 00:25:54,135 did you have to compromise yourself along the way? 459 00:25:54,219 --> 00:25:56,638 First thing-- Tracy? 460 00:25:57,264 --> 00:25:58,098 Yes. 461 00:25:59,015 --> 00:26:00,517 You are not me, and I am not you, 462 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:02,769 and yet we are all beautiful. 463 00:26:03,728 --> 00:26:05,021 My darlings, 464 00:26:05,939 --> 00:26:12,195 our experiences as Black people are multifaceted, and rich, and varied, 465 00:26:12,279 --> 00:26:15,573 but none of us should have to compromise ourselves for anything. 466 00:26:16,074 --> 00:26:16,908 We cannot. 467 00:26:16,992 --> 00:26:19,494 Compromise is not a word in my vocabulary, 468 00:26:19,577 --> 00:26:21,329 nor should it be in yours. 469 00:26:22,497 --> 00:26:26,960 I cannot help but give my whole self to every performance 470 00:26:27,043 --> 00:26:30,588 because the world deserves every facet of my being. 471 00:26:32,507 --> 00:26:35,969 Ms. McCoy, a while back, on a trip to New York City, 472 00:26:36,052 --> 00:26:38,722 I was lucky enough to see you as Lady Macbeth, 473 00:26:38,805 --> 00:26:41,224 opposite Charles Clayton as Macbeth. 474 00:26:41,308 --> 00:26:44,019 That was at my theater in Harlem, I remember. 475 00:26:44,102 --> 00:26:47,939 Mm-hm. And your performance has stayed with me ever since. 476 00:26:48,023 --> 00:26:50,191 You were so fierce and commanding, 477 00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:52,736 and yet also vulnerable. 478 00:26:52,819 --> 00:26:56,489 Oh, sweetie, that is the only way I know how to be. 479 00:26:56,573 --> 00:26:57,532 [all chuckling] 480 00:26:57,615 --> 00:27:00,076 Ferocious and vulnerable. 481 00:27:00,785 --> 00:27:02,245 All things at once. 482 00:27:02,746 --> 00:27:05,081 And when I work, I bleed. It's as simple as that. 483 00:27:05,165 --> 00:27:07,709 That's what I try to do at my typewriter. I try to bleed too. 484 00:27:07,792 --> 00:27:08,835 [all chuckling] 485 00:27:09,502 --> 00:27:11,212 Enough about Josie McCoy. 486 00:27:11,296 --> 00:27:15,258 Tell me, where did the idea for the Black Athena Club come from? 487 00:27:16,134 --> 00:27:19,846 When I was in high school, I would've crossed the Sahara for a group like this. 488 00:27:19,929 --> 00:27:24,476 Honestly, Josie, I started this club because I was tired, plain and simple. 489 00:27:25,101 --> 00:27:29,230 I was tired of this bogus town telling me who I was. 490 00:27:29,981 --> 00:27:33,943 Tired of treading water in the Caucasian sea of opinions. 491 00:27:34,027 --> 00:27:36,446 -[student] Mm-hm. -We all needed a haven. 492 00:27:36,988 --> 00:27:41,117 And I know I wasn't the only one tired of being told no by the gatekeepers. 493 00:27:41,868 --> 00:27:43,119 So we... 494 00:27:43,203 --> 00:27:44,871 So you bet on yourselves. 495 00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:47,582 Mm. 496 00:27:48,541 --> 00:27:49,834 Yes, I can see that. 497 00:27:52,796 --> 00:27:54,506 Yes, I certainly can. 498 00:27:56,257 --> 00:27:58,843 All right. Let's blow this out. 499 00:27:58,927 --> 00:28:02,097 I want a full red carpet premiere. All the bells and whistle. 500 00:28:02,180 --> 00:28:06,017 Spotlights, velvet ropes, the crème de la crème. 501 00:28:06,101 --> 00:28:08,645 My movie is in your hands, Veronica, but... 502 00:28:09,354 --> 00:28:11,189 If Going Uptown isn't a hit, 503 00:28:11,272 --> 00:28:14,025 if we invite the press and they don't write five-star raves, 504 00:28:14,109 --> 00:28:16,861 it won't just be my movie that disappears. 505 00:28:16,945 --> 00:28:18,196 I disappear too. 506 00:28:19,239 --> 00:28:23,034 I won't get a second chance, and this film cost me everything. 507 00:28:23,118 --> 00:28:24,494 What do you mean? 508 00:28:25,745 --> 00:28:26,955 Cost you everything? 509 00:28:28,498 --> 00:28:30,250 I financed it myself. 510 00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:34,421 When Going Uptown became a Broadway hit, 511 00:28:34,504 --> 00:28:37,257 when I, Josie McCoy, made it a hit, 512 00:28:37,966 --> 00:28:40,093 they wanted to turn it into a movie. 513 00:28:40,844 --> 00:28:43,054 Of course I was thrilled. 514 00:28:43,763 --> 00:28:45,598 Until I found out that my part, 515 00:28:45,682 --> 00:28:48,643 the part that I won a Tony Award for... 516 00:28:49,853 --> 00:28:53,940 was being reconceived for Lana Turner. 517 00:28:55,567 --> 00:28:56,484 No. 518 00:28:57,068 --> 00:28:58,445 Yes. 519 00:29:00,572 --> 00:29:02,323 It was a slap in the face. 520 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:07,579 Apparently, the powers that be 521 00:29:07,662 --> 00:29:11,207 thought the silver screen wasn't ready for Josie McCoy 522 00:29:11,291 --> 00:29:13,501 and her Black, beautiful self. 523 00:29:13,585 --> 00:29:16,087 So I scrounged up every penny I had, 524 00:29:16,171 --> 00:29:18,006 I even mortgaged my brownstone, 525 00:29:18,089 --> 00:29:21,050 and I bought the rights to Going Uptown out from them, 526 00:29:21,134 --> 00:29:23,094 and I made the damn thing myself. 527 00:29:23,970 --> 00:29:25,847 I put everything I had... 528 00:29:26,806 --> 00:29:28,224 into this picture. 529 00:29:28,308 --> 00:29:29,476 So... 530 00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:37,484 the test screenings, the surveys, weren't part of your process. 531 00:29:38,318 --> 00:29:40,612 -They were going to be for-- -Studios. 532 00:29:41,154 --> 00:29:42,363 If we tested well enough 533 00:29:42,447 --> 00:29:44,908 with Black and white audiences in the sticks, 534 00:29:44,991 --> 00:29:46,576 I thought that maybe, 535 00:29:46,659 --> 00:29:49,454 maybe I could convince one of the majors to... 536 00:29:50,497 --> 00:29:51,873 To distribute Going Uptown. 537 00:29:51,956 --> 00:29:55,502 Then why the change of heart to hold the premiere now? 538 00:29:58,046 --> 00:30:01,758 Making Going Uptown and risking everything for it, 539 00:30:01,841 --> 00:30:06,095 it's the most terrifying thing I have ever done. 540 00:30:07,138 --> 00:30:09,390 The studios, they don't think I'm a movie star, 541 00:30:09,474 --> 00:30:10,850 but I know I am. 542 00:30:12,602 --> 00:30:18,024 But Going Uptown will have to explode like an atomic bomb. 543 00:30:20,902 --> 00:30:23,279 Are you tuned in and hearing my signal straight? 544 00:30:23,363 --> 00:30:24,447 Josie... 545 00:30:26,366 --> 00:30:29,494 after the premiere I'm going to throw you, 546 00:30:29,577 --> 00:30:32,956 you are going to have a bidding war on your hands. 547 00:30:33,623 --> 00:30:38,294 Which is exactly what a star of your caliber deserves. 548 00:30:39,337 --> 00:30:41,005 [Fangs] I hate not being able to see you. 549 00:30:41,756 --> 00:30:42,841 Or hold you. 550 00:30:42,924 --> 00:30:45,134 But we're cooking with gas now, baby. 551 00:30:45,218 --> 00:30:48,596 I performed for the Josie McCoy. 552 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:51,432 She's gonna hook me up with her music producer in New York. 553 00:30:51,516 --> 00:30:53,643 A real hotshot. Alexander Cabot. 554 00:30:53,726 --> 00:30:55,562 Killer-diller! 555 00:30:56,688 --> 00:30:59,357 Oh, Fangs, that's peachy to the max. 556 00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:01,943 Then we'll get you out of that crazy place. 557 00:31:02,569 --> 00:31:04,445 We'll be together before you know it. 558 00:31:04,529 --> 00:31:06,030 [Jughead] They rejected Sabrina? 559 00:31:06,114 --> 00:31:06,948 Yup. 560 00:31:07,532 --> 00:31:09,617 Kicked it back, and in record time. 561 00:31:09,701 --> 00:31:12,787 Sabrina the Teenage Witch just ain't gonna fly, kid. 562 00:31:12,870 --> 00:31:14,122 Why? Did they say? 563 00:31:14,205 --> 00:31:17,083 Oh, yeah, they gave my ears quite the bashing. 564 00:31:17,166 --> 00:31:20,628 Objected to pretty much everything. Like, for starters, that she's a witch. 565 00:31:20,712 --> 00:31:21,963 This is nuts. 566 00:31:22,046 --> 00:31:25,466 Preaching to the choir, kid. Preaching to the choir. 567 00:31:25,550 --> 00:31:27,760 You came up with something fun and whimsical, 568 00:31:27,844 --> 00:31:32,974 and all they saw was witches, Satanism, hocus-pocus, and human sacrifices. 569 00:31:33,057 --> 00:31:35,768 I know it's crushing, but shame on us. 570 00:31:35,852 --> 00:31:39,397 We probably never should've tried to launch a comic book about a witch 571 00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:41,107 in the middle of a witch hunt. 572 00:31:42,108 --> 00:31:43,610 [Veronica] I'm so sorry, Jughead. 573 00:31:43,693 --> 00:31:46,654 Sabrina the Teenage Witch is a brilliant idea. 574 00:31:46,738 --> 00:31:49,240 And I'm not just saying that because I inspired her. 575 00:31:49,324 --> 00:31:50,867 She's just ahead of her time. 576 00:31:52,785 --> 00:31:54,662 Give it a few years. 577 00:31:54,746 --> 00:31:58,333 Let the hysteria die down and there will be no stopping her. 578 00:31:58,416 --> 00:32:00,752 I just feel like Pep Comics is... 579 00:32:00,835 --> 00:32:02,962 sinking in quicksand. 580 00:32:03,046 --> 00:32:07,091 Listen, if you're down in the mouth and not in the mood for a premiere, 581 00:32:07,175 --> 00:32:08,384 I'd completely understand. 582 00:32:08,468 --> 00:32:12,138 Are you kidding? This is the only chance I'll be invited to a Hollywood premiere. 583 00:32:12,221 --> 00:32:13,723 I'm not going to miss it. 584 00:32:13,806 --> 00:32:15,642 -The only thing is-- -You don't have a suit. 585 00:32:16,601 --> 00:32:18,853 I barely have any clothes without an S on them. 586 00:32:18,937 --> 00:32:22,106 I thought we might run into this predicament, 587 00:32:22,190 --> 00:32:26,986 so I may or may not have taken some precautionary measures. 588 00:32:28,237 --> 00:32:31,699 Tailored exactly to your measurements. 589 00:32:31,783 --> 00:32:33,159 I think you'll find... 590 00:32:33,993 --> 00:32:35,954 nothing but the best for my flutter bum. 591 00:32:36,037 --> 00:32:37,330 Yowza. 592 00:32:39,999 --> 00:32:42,502 Are you absolutely sure you're not a teenage witch? 593 00:33:34,887 --> 00:33:37,181 -[cameras clicking] -[big band jazz music playing] 594 00:33:52,488 --> 00:33:53,906 [audience applauding] 595 00:34:06,794 --> 00:34:09,922 [groans] Who's that sourpuss? 596 00:34:10,006 --> 00:34:13,885 He's a notoriously surly but also highly influential movie critic 597 00:34:13,968 --> 00:34:15,261 from the Wall Beat Journal. 598 00:34:15,344 --> 00:34:16,929 Don't worry, 599 00:34:17,013 --> 00:34:19,891 you and your movie are undeniable. 600 00:34:22,018 --> 00:34:23,019 Here we go. 601 00:34:23,102 --> 00:34:26,022 -[whimsical music playing on-screen] -[audience applauding] 602 00:34:38,242 --> 00:34:39,952 [music drones, then stops] 603 00:34:44,665 --> 00:34:45,833 [audience murmuring] 604 00:34:51,589 --> 00:34:54,967 -What the hell is going on, you bozos? -Film got caught and split. 605 00:34:55,051 --> 00:34:57,345 We need to splice it back together and rethread it. 606 00:34:57,428 --> 00:34:59,514 Have you snapped your caps? We'll lose them. 607 00:34:59,597 --> 00:35:02,225 -Who? -The audience, Kevin. The audience. 608 00:35:02,308 --> 00:35:03,184 And the critics. 609 00:35:03,267 --> 00:35:04,811 The spell has been broken. 610 00:35:04,894 --> 00:35:07,230 You two are the worst projectionists in the world. 611 00:35:07,313 --> 00:35:09,065 You're fired, we're no longer friends, 612 00:35:09,148 --> 00:35:11,776 and from now on you'll pay full for movie tickets. 613 00:35:11,859 --> 00:35:13,528 Everyone calm down. 614 00:35:13,611 --> 00:35:15,446 Once I was mid-performance in Greenwich Village 615 00:35:15,530 --> 00:35:18,825 when the club got raided by the fuzz, but I still managed to finish. 616 00:35:18,908 --> 00:35:22,120 We will get through this if we don't fall apart. 617 00:35:22,203 --> 00:35:24,205 How long will it take to splice my film? 618 00:35:24,288 --> 00:35:25,998 I don't know. Five minutes? 619 00:35:26,082 --> 00:35:27,583 Five minutes? 620 00:35:27,667 --> 00:35:30,545 There are half a dozen critics looking at their pocket-watches, 621 00:35:30,628 --> 00:35:33,589 wondering if they can catch the next train out of Riverdale. 622 00:35:34,549 --> 00:35:36,717 Hold your horses, folks. Where are you going? 623 00:35:36,801 --> 00:35:39,387 Now, why don't we sit down and enjoy the excitement? 624 00:35:39,470 --> 00:35:42,515 While they fix my film, how long would it take to get a band? 625 00:35:42,598 --> 00:35:45,852 Fangs is here, so I'd say about 60 seconds? 626 00:35:46,519 --> 00:35:47,687 Perfect. 627 00:35:47,770 --> 00:35:51,524 Then I'll buy these two the time they need to get my movie fixed and running again. 628 00:35:52,775 --> 00:35:55,987 [Veronica] Who says motion pictures are a frozen art form? 629 00:35:56,070 --> 00:35:59,031 While my associates are making Going Uptown 630 00:35:59,115 --> 00:36:01,200 even more fabulous than before, 631 00:36:01,284 --> 00:36:03,786 here in the flesh, 632 00:36:03,870 --> 00:36:06,539 performing the film's title number, 633 00:36:06,622 --> 00:36:09,208 is Ms. Josie McCoy. 634 00:36:09,292 --> 00:36:11,878 -[audience applauding] -Gentlemen... 635 00:36:13,671 --> 00:36:15,214 ♪ You're looking at a female ♪ 636 00:36:15,298 --> 00:36:21,804 ♪ Who has driven men to homicide ♪ 637 00:36:21,888 --> 00:36:24,849 ♪ How, must you ask? ♪ 638 00:36:24,932 --> 00:36:27,935 ♪ Look at these beautiful legs ♪ 639 00:36:28,603 --> 00:36:33,941 ♪ These legs were built to drive men mad ♪ 640 00:36:34,525 --> 00:36:37,820 ♪ Would you like to dance? ♪ 641 00:36:41,866 --> 00:36:44,243 ♪ When you look around the room, look ♪ 642 00:36:44,327 --> 00:36:45,703 ♪ Tell me, what do you see? ♪ 643 00:36:45,786 --> 00:36:48,372 ♪ Imitations of imitations ♪ 644 00:36:48,456 --> 00:36:51,792 ♪ I invented myself ♪ 645 00:36:52,627 --> 00:36:54,712 ♪ I'm a creature ♪ 646 00:36:54,795 --> 00:37:00,092 ♪ Who sacrificed love for her art ♪ 647 00:37:00,176 --> 00:37:03,179 ♪ Why, you may ask? ♪ 648 00:37:04,013 --> 00:37:06,891 ♪ With these smoldering lips ♪ 649 00:37:06,974 --> 00:37:13,648 ♪ Do you know what it's like To taste such smoldering lips? ♪ 650 00:37:13,731 --> 00:37:17,902 ♪ Would you like to find out? ♪ 651 00:37:19,278 --> 00:37:21,906 ♪ But first, I hear you're going uptown ♪ 652 00:37:21,989 --> 00:37:23,449 ♪ Let's go and you lead ♪ 653 00:37:23,532 --> 00:37:25,326 ♪ I'm ready for the big time ♪ 654 00:37:25,409 --> 00:37:26,702 ♪ But what I need ♪ 655 00:37:26,786 --> 00:37:27,703 ♪ I need ♪ 656 00:37:27,787 --> 00:37:31,082 ♪ I need to return to the place ♪ 657 00:37:31,165 --> 00:37:38,172 ♪ Where I used to belong ♪ 658 00:37:39,090 --> 00:37:44,178 ♪ I hear you're going uptown ♪ 659 00:37:45,221 --> 00:37:47,014 ♪ I hear you're taking me ♪ 660 00:37:47,098 --> 00:37:48,683 ♪ You're taking me ♪ 661 00:37:48,766 --> 00:37:55,773 ♪ You're taking me along ♪ 662 00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:57,984 [audience cheering] 663 00:38:09,537 --> 00:38:11,664 [whimsical music playing on-screen] 664 00:38:22,425 --> 00:38:24,301 I just saw Mr. Abrams off. 665 00:38:25,052 --> 00:38:27,221 He's on the train back to New York. 666 00:38:27,305 --> 00:38:30,308 And? Is it going to be a rave or not? 667 00:38:30,891 --> 00:38:33,477 Now, Josie, you know these critics. 668 00:38:33,561 --> 00:38:36,147 But I may have greased his wheels a bit, 669 00:38:36,230 --> 00:38:38,941 and gotten a taste of what he's going to publish in the journal. 670 00:38:39,025 --> 00:38:40,401 Well, let's hear it. 671 00:38:42,695 --> 00:38:45,031 First, the headline. [clears throat] 672 00:38:45,114 --> 00:38:46,615 "A Star is Born." 673 00:38:48,701 --> 00:38:50,786 Would you like to hear the opening paragraph? 674 00:38:50,870 --> 00:38:51,829 Why not? 675 00:38:53,748 --> 00:38:55,458 "Stop the presses. 676 00:38:55,541 --> 00:38:58,127 An atomic bomb exploded in Riverdale. 677 00:38:59,045 --> 00:39:02,840 People will be talking about it for the rest of their days. 678 00:39:02,923 --> 00:39:04,300 Call the Oscars and tell them 679 00:39:04,383 --> 00:39:08,554 that all of the major awards will be going to Josie McCoy this year. 680 00:39:08,637 --> 00:39:11,098 Ms. McCoy, the genius creative force, 681 00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:14,226 and I do mean force behind Going Uptown, 682 00:39:14,310 --> 00:39:19,065 has not only earned herself a seat at the glorious table that is Tinseltown, 683 00:39:19,648 --> 00:39:24,195 she has commandeered the whole damn restaurant." 684 00:39:31,202 --> 00:39:33,829 Is this really happening? I'm not dreaming? 685 00:39:33,913 --> 00:39:35,790 Josie, it's not happening. 686 00:39:36,957 --> 00:39:37,917 It happened. 687 00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:40,294 You made it happen. 688 00:39:40,377 --> 00:39:41,712 And, as far as I'm concerned, 689 00:39:41,796 --> 00:39:44,465 put Riverdale and the Babylonium on the map tonight. 690 00:39:44,548 --> 00:39:46,092 So thank you for that. 691 00:39:46,175 --> 00:39:49,470 And by the way, there's one thing this reviewer got wrong. 692 00:39:50,221 --> 00:39:52,264 A star wasn't born tonight. 693 00:39:52,348 --> 00:39:54,392 You've always been a star, Josie. 694 00:39:56,018 --> 00:39:58,395 From the first second you drew breath. 695 00:39:59,188 --> 00:40:00,731 You weren't even at the hospital. 696 00:40:02,525 --> 00:40:03,776 You're not wrong, though. 697 00:40:05,069 --> 00:40:09,156 We make a good team, you and I. Perhaps we should do this again. 698 00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:10,491 I wonder, Veronica, 699 00:40:10,574 --> 00:40:14,453 if you're not just treading water here managing a theater, 700 00:40:14,537 --> 00:40:17,039 when what you should be doing is making movies. 701 00:40:18,332 --> 00:40:19,834 Ah-ha-ha. 702 00:40:19,917 --> 00:40:21,961 I see I've intrigued you. 703 00:40:24,046 --> 00:40:25,965 It's what Josie McCoy does best. 704 00:40:32,304 --> 00:40:33,222 Uncle Frank? 705 00:40:34,181 --> 00:40:35,307 What's going on? 706 00:40:36,142 --> 00:40:38,144 Reggie, will you give us a minute? 707 00:40:42,022 --> 00:40:43,441 What the hell is this? 708 00:40:45,109 --> 00:40:47,444 Mrs. Grundy asked us to write about our most... 709 00:40:49,572 --> 00:40:51,824 personal and private pain. 710 00:40:54,618 --> 00:40:58,289 Overseas or in mountain marsh That's where you really are 711 00:40:58,372 --> 00:41:00,833 You have a plot of land here at home 712 00:41:02,751 --> 00:41:04,920 But you will always Be lost to me over there 713 00:41:05,004 --> 00:41:07,840 Writing poetry to get with a girl is fine, I said that. 714 00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:11,427 But writing about your father? 715 00:41:11,510 --> 00:41:15,723 Exploiting his sacrifice for our country, for our family? 716 00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:17,475 No. 717 00:41:18,017 --> 00:41:18,851 No! 718 00:41:18,934 --> 00:41:21,854 You will not sully his memory like this! 719 00:41:21,937 --> 00:41:23,814 What's wrong with me writing about my dad? 720 00:41:23,898 --> 00:41:26,150 I wish I could still talk to him, but I can't. 721 00:41:26,233 --> 00:41:27,276 At least this way-- 722 00:41:27,860 --> 00:41:29,528 Uncle Frank, stop! 723 00:41:30,571 --> 00:41:32,323 Don't you ever... 724 00:41:33,157 --> 00:41:35,034 write about your father like that again. 725 00:41:37,536 --> 00:41:39,038 Am I understood? 726 00:41:39,121 --> 00:41:40,539 [ominous music playing] like that again.