[cars honking]
- [driver coughs] - [passenger] Where should we go?
[driver coughs] Couldn't hear you. What did you say?
[passenger] Well, where should we go?
- [driver] Hawaii is the obvious choice. - [cars honking]
- [passenger vocalizing] - Hawaii is the obvious choice.
- Just think about it. Stop that. - [vocalizing continues]
- Will you stop and listen to me, please? - [vocalizing stops]
[driver] There's a reason that people convalesce at the beach.
[passenger] You'll complain about sand getting everywhere.
[driver] I'll be happy.
[passenger] Mmm. Well, that's what's most important.
[horn blaring]
- Hurry the hell up, grandpa! - [driver groans]
The Rockies are cozy. [stutters] The cold isn't bitter there. It's warm.
Cold is just cold, Joan.
It's the kind of place you could spend forever.
It's 84 degrees in Naples today.
Italy?
- Florida. - We're not Florida people, Larry.
Oh, God. Joan, that sounds so snobby.
- We're not Florida people. - [groans]
[stammering] You know, you sound like Karen.
Karen is my friend, and she is not well.
Well, we don't have to make people into saints ju-just because they're dying.
Jesus, Larry.
Look, it's got mountains and ice and snow.
So many things for you to complain about. You will love it.
I don't love to complain. That's not something people love.
I don't want to fight. It's a big day.
You know, people die at these things? I saw it on the Internet.
It's a gender reveal party.
I mean, I get eliminating the surprise…
- Can we just let them make a fuss? - …but it's not party-worthy.
You know, one of the great joys of my life has been allowing for surprises.
- Do you… Do you remember… - Everything has to be a party nowadays.
…when you were convinced that Zach would be a girl?
- Everything has to be an event. - You just don't like parties.
No. No, you just hate having fun.
- Kids have preschool graduations now. - You're only happy when you're miserable.
You're five. You don't know anything.
- Look, I… Can we just enjoy it? Okay? - But, you know, you have the big party.
- Big party. - Larry!
Can we just enjoy it, okay?
- [tires screeching, horn honking] - [driver 2] Asshole!
[Larry] I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying it.
- Joan. - [sighs]
Joan.
- We have to tell them. - I know.
Just give me today.
- [chattering] - Sam, can you grab the balloons?
Yeah, I heard you. I'm getting the balloons.
- We're back. - Hey, Larry. How's it going?
- Hi. You look lovely. - We're back. Ah, the traffic, unbel…
- Oh, hi. How are you, sweetheart? - Oh. Thank you, Mom.
- [Joan] Hey. Hey. - [child] Grandma! Grandma!
[kisses] Good to see you, my dears.
[kisses] Let's go for some cake?
- [woman] Sam, the balloons. - [Sam] I have the balloons in my hand!
- [sighs] - [chattering continues]
[woman] Thanks for agreeing to host, Pop-pop.
- This is gonna be a boy. - How do you know that?
- Because it's so low. A boy. - [chuckles]
So, coming up on 65 years of marriage. Any tips?
You burst one of those balloons and you'll never find out!
[Larry chuckles]
[woman] Oh! Uh, Nana,
we found a bunch of your old pictures in the basement.
Thanks, sweetie.
[Sam] Who is that?
[kid] Pop-pop was in the army?
[woman] No, sweetie. That was Nana's stupidly attractive first husband.
Jesus Christ, he's a dapper man.
Why would you leave him for Pop-pop?
[clicks tongue] No, sweetie.
Luke was a soldier and, um, he died at war.
[Sam] Lar, you got really lucky, my friend.
- I bet he would have been a good dad. - [Larry choking]
- [woman] That's not how biology works. - [gulping]
- Lar? - [gulping, choking continues]
Hey, he's being funny.
[woman] Shut up, Zach.
- [Sam] Larry, are you okay? - [woman] Dad?
- [Zach] Dad? - [distorted] Larry! [exclaims] Larry!
[balloons pop]
[Joan] Larry!
Guess you weren't expecting it?
What the hell is going on? Where's Joan?
[train announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, we have now reached the junction.
- [groans] - Please alight the train
where your eternity lies ahead.
[passenger] I don't remember buying a train ticket.
[train brakes squealing]
[passenger 2] Well, I guess the surgery didn't go so well.
- [Muzak playing] - [chattering]
[station announcer] Mind your step. Disorientation is normal.
The newly dead from North America, arriving in Junction 301.
What is going on?
Hey. All the fun of the Middle Ages with none of the leprosy. Come on.
Hey, you want to party? Party all night, party for all time.
Hey, pally. Good to see you. You must be new.
- Where am I? - [person] Jessica?
He hasn't made contact yet.
Jessica?
- W-What is this? - Your AC will be with you shortly.
- Welcome, Sandro. Follow me. - Hi. Can you help me? I--
Your AC will be with you shortly.
- Are you an AC? - Yes, but I'm not your AC.
- Come. - [AC 1] Jessica?
[chattering continues]
[announcer] Final call for the Dingle World, 174.
Hi. Do you work here?
No, honey. I'm here for my health.
[whispers] Listen. I think I've been abducted.
[whispers] You haven't been abducted.
[normal] Well, where's my family? Where's Joan? Where am I?
You're in the junction. Your AC will be--
Be with me shortly. Yeah.
[Larry sighs]
[announcer] Next arrival in 15 minutes.
Final train from Junction 301, departing in five minutes.
Oh, Jill. This is all noise.
I know you, Jill.
You just want a box of Chardonnay and a pool.
[gasps] I do like Chardonnay.
Well, then I have the eternity for you.
Okay.
Yeah. Okay.
Straight ahead.
Oh. Sorry.
[AC groans]
You little bitch.
- Uh… [stammers] Larry Cutler? - [Larry groans]
Is there a Larry Cutler here?
- That's me. - Larry?
- That's me. - Oh! Hey, man. I'm so sorry.
They had me at a whole 'nother gate.
Who are you?
I'm Anna. I'm your AC.
- What does that stand for? - Your afterlife coordinator.
That's not a job.
You've passed away, Larry.
No.
You're dead.
No. I'm not. I-I hit my head. And…
It's a girl.
[chuckles] Walk with me.
Oh. All right, listen. So I was sitting with my family,
- and then I, uh-- - Died.
No, and I… Whatever you're trying to pro…
It's not sore. Weird.
Look, Larry.
How is this happening?
When you get here, your form reverts to its happiest self.
It could be any age.
That's why there are lots of 10-year-old boys,
but not a lot of teenagers though.
Ah, shit. Joan. Joan, my wife. I need… I need to go back.
Oh, Larry. Look on the bright side. At least your penis works again.
- [passerby] Hey, Anna. - My…
[whispers] My penis always worked.
There's no need to feel shame here. We've seen it all.
Uh. Yeah. Well, if I was dead,
I wouldn't really care about the functionality of my…
- Penis. - [passerby 2] Ugh.
I wouldn't be embarrassed and annoyed with you right now,
because you're not supposed to be annoyed in heaven.
Oh, they tell you such strange things down there.
Larry, what is a soul?
Uh…
I don't know. I suppose it's the perfect version of yourself.
No. It's just you.
No, that can't be right.
If you were annoyed a lot in life, Larry, then you might be annoyed a lot in death.
Were you annoyed a lot in life, Larry?
Listen to me. My wife really needs me right now.
I'm sorry. It doesn't work like that.
Wake up, Larry. Wake up. Wake up. Come on, buddy. Come on.
What the hell is that?
If you were dreaming, you wouldn't feel that pain.
[stammers] I didn't feel that.
You know, usually you old fellas really cheer up about the whole penis thing.
Listen to me, I need to talk to God, okay? That's what I want.
- I want to speak with the big guy. - Okay, so you're one of those.
I don't know why you didn't say that in the first place.
We got tons of eternities.
What are you, New Testament, Old Testament? Hindu, Buddhist?
- Pick your poison. - Hold on. Is God not real?
I don't know. But, listen,
after a couple hundred years in one of these eternities,
you won't even know the difference.
Who do you work for?
I work for Frank.
Okay, then, uh, who does Frank work for?
Frank works for Tom. Why-Why does it even matter? Come on.
We don't have time. I got other clients, Larry, please.
[sighs]
Okay. Well,
I'm sorry for assuming that paradise would look a little less like life.
This isn't paradise.
This is just a brief transition between life and eternity.
Oh, you've earned a life worth an eternity.
- I have? - It's just something we say.
Everybody gets an eternity.
The good, the bad and the ugly.
So all that "live a good life" stuff's a-a bunch of crap?
Afraid so.
- [alarm blaring] - [announcer] Red door escapee.
- [escapee] Get away from me! - Do not engage.
- Oh, that? Don't worry about that. - [escapee] Get away!
[Anna] Just don't run through any red doors.
[escapee] I can't go back. I can't do it anymore.
- [grunts, groaning] - [security] Come here. Come… [grunts]
- [escapee] Get off me. - Larry, let's go. Let's go.
[announcer] Final call for Alpine World, 234.
So this is where I'm staying, huh?
For now, until you choose the right eternity for you.
But we'll get into all that later.
- I think now's a good time. I'm dead. - Hey. There you go. Acceptance.
We have some of your favorite clothes in the closet,
in case you want to check it out.
Anna?
Didn't 1840s Ireland have a devastating famine caused by a potato blight
and the British exporting all their other food?
Well, not here.
Ever wanted to be the captain of--
Do you hate clothes, but you need them to keep warm?
Well, here in Natural State 454, it's always a balmy 72 degrees.
[neighbor] Ooh. Looking good, Jim.
He's "cardiac-ing" really hard.
Suction, goddamn it.
[machine flatlining]
- We lost him. - But you found me.
[announcer] If you suffered a violent death,
please reach out to our afterlife counselors.
[person] You know, I did, uh, experiment in college.
[grunts]
Hi, there.
Hi.
Confusing time, huh?
- [chuckles] - Yes, actually.
Oh. S-Sorry, I'm… I'm married.
[giggles]
What if I, uh, told you
I could secure you a spot in the hottest eternity…
Marge. You know the policy. No selling in the bar.
Something strong, please.
First day?
So what are you, like an angel or something?
Oh, no, no.
I'm a bartender.
Oh, shit. Do I have to get a job?
Only if you want to stay here.
So what are you thinking about, for where you want to go from here?
[coughs] Oh.
[stammers] I don't… I don't know.
Somewhere sunny with a beach, I guess.
But my wife won't like that, so I can't stay for long.
Did your AC go over the rules?
No, but, uh, she seemed busy.
All right. Well, look, the big thing
is there's no switching eternities after you've chosen.
No visiting other eternities, no nothing.
Eternity is eternity.
It's forever.
What if I didn't go along with the rules? What are they gonna do, kill me again?
Technically they can't kill you again.
But you break a rule,
you overstay your welcome, or you try switching eternities,
they'll put you into the void.
Is that like hell?
As close as there is.
It's just blackness, for eternity.
Um…
My wife has cancer. It's terminal.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Worst part about death is the guilt you feel for the ones you left behind.
I know, and I told her that I was always gonna take care of her.
And now she's sick, and dealing with all this.
Um… Could I get a mixer with that?
That is absolutely disgusting.
Morning, sleepyhead.
Morning, sweetie.
[inhales deeply, exhales]
[snorts] What the hell?
What's going on? How did you get in here?
- Larry, you don't remember? - Remember what?
No, we didn't. Did we?
Nah, I'm just joking. I have a key.
- Why do you have a key? - It's not important.
So, you seemed to have a good time last night.
I'm dead. You wouldn't think hangovers would be a thing.
I know, right? It's a common misconception.
[sighs] I got a question.
Mm-hmm. Hit me with it.
[groans, sniffs]
So, everyone working here, they don't want to go to their eternity. Why?
Some people haven't accepted death,
and some people are waiting for their loved ones.
Oh.
And others haven't decided yet, and those are the worst ones.
Well, why did you stay?
[chuckles] That is a story for another time.
- Mmm. - So, tell me.
Where you going? Did you decide?
No. I… I need to see where Joan is.
- Mmm. - How can I tell how close she is?
No, I'm sorry. It doesn't work like that. I can't do that.
So all that looking down from above stuff, that's just a bunch of BS?
Mmm. You're annoyed?
- No, I'm not annoyed. - You look annoyed.
What about everybody who died before me? Where's my parents?
How do I see them?
You could definitely go see your parents. But then, you know, you'd be… [mutters]
- Be with my parents for eternity. - Eternity.
That's why we usually recommend for you to do you.
And just know that everyone is existing pretty damn good.
You know what I mean?
You know, Joan always thought of death
as one more surprise waiting around the corner.
- Mmm. - And she loved surprises.
But she was a librarian though, right?
Yeah, they can like surprises too.
Oh.
So if I wanted to wait, what do I have to do?
Get a job? Be a bartender?
No. You wish. [chuckles] It's cleaning work.
- Do you know how to do laundry? - Yeah.
At least the room is nice.
Yeah. But it's for clients.
So if you don't decide, then you have to go… [clicking tongue]
Well, I was told there is no hell.
- The basement. - Oh.
The rooms are more functional in the basement.
- Mmm. - Jesus, you went straight to hell.
[vendor] You look like you hate people. Try Hermit World.
Hi. Excuse me…
Do you want a little sniffle? And you?
[announcer] Final call for Cowboy World 167.
Smoke, sir?
[passerby wheezes]
[Larry] It could be tomorrow.
[Anna] Or she could hang on for another, what, six or seven months?
I mean, I guess I could set everything up for her.
And I could, you know, make sure it's… it's how she likes it,
really make it feel like a home.
Larry, that is so romantic.
- I guess it is a little romantic. - [clicks tongue] It's so romantic.
- I can be romantic. - I… [whimpers]
- 'Cause I know how she likes things. - You do.
[sighs]
[sniffles]
[sniffles, crying]
[indistinct train whistle blows]
[sighs]
Oh.
I really think you picked a good one. You are not going to regret this, Larry.
- Hey, hey, uh, would you do me a favor? - Yeah, sure can do.
Could you give Joan this letter for me?
No can do. That's against the rules.
Plus, why do you need a letter when you got me?
[announcer] Beach Land 239, now boarding at gate 12.
It was a pleasure working with you.
Yeah.
Bye.
Sorry. Oh.
Ow.
Shoot.
Okay.
[announcer] Mind your step. Disorientation is normal.
Joan.
[stammers] Joan!
Joan! Joan!
- [people clamoring] - [Larry] That's my wife.
[passerby] Yeah. Come on, buddy.
- It's that way. - Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah.
Come on, come on, come on, come on! Come on. [groans]
There you go.
[announcer] The newly dead from North America, arriving in Junction 301.
Oh, excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry, where am I?
Um, your AC will explain everything.
Okay. Okay. You know, it's just… [stammers]
Honey, your AC will explain everything.
[gasps]
That looks nice.
Joan. Joan! Joan.
- [gasps] Larry! - [Larry] Joan.
- Sweetie. Ah, sweetie. - Oh, my God.
I missed you so much.
- Hi. Oh. Oh, my God. - Wow, look at you. Wow. I love this.
I was, uh, I was in bed, and then I… I thought I just came from a…
- Baby, you look amazing. - …a-a train.
- Oh! Every time! - Ow! Ow!
God, every damn time, Larry. I told you to slow down on the pretzels.
- But, you… No, no, you never listen. - I know, I know.
[stammers] Oh, you stop smiling.
- Jo? - Yeah.
Listen to me, honey. I have shocking news.
- You're dead. - I'm dead.
Yeah. How'd you know?
I mean…
It took him forever to figure that out.
- Not forever. - Yeah, forever.
- No. - So you are the famous Joan.
Okay, Larry. Way to marry up.
- Yeah. - So, uh, what-what now?
Yeah, so now, so--
Was it cancer?
That took you away from the world?
So, who are you?
Okay, honey. So listen, now we finally get to have that holiday.
And basically we can go anywhere we want, but then that's it.
It's like a one and done thing here. They're very strict on that.
Um, and if you want to go to the mountains we can,
because the snow and the cold's not gonna kill you now, 'cause you're dead.
- Back away from my client. - I'm not near your client.
- Back away. - Shut up.
I've been waiting for this golden goose for 67 goddamn years.
- Oh, Lar? - Hi.
- [Larry] Excuse me. Excuse me. - I'm so sorry about her.
[Larry] Who's that?
[inhales sharply] I'm Ryan. I'm your afterlife coordinator.
- Yeah. - [chuckles]
I know this can be very, very overwhelming.
It's a lot to absorb, so I highly recommend just…
[inhales deeply] …taking a deep breath in, and… [exhales deeply] …out.
Just breathe out.
Oh. Hey. What's going on, guy?
This was my, uh, bartender.
I, um, guess I forgot to pay the tab. I didn't realize there would be a tab.
Nobody gave me any money.
No way.
Sorry. I forgot to ask your name. What's your name again?
I'm Luke.
This is Luke. He's my bartender.
Joan.
Oh, no.
I never dreamt you this clearly.
You're exactly how I dreamt you.
- [gasps] - Oof. Hard luck, Larry.
No. Luke had a mustache.
Yeah, well, Joanie hated it.
So I shave it off every morning hoping she's gonna show up.
- Oh, my God. - [squeals] How romantic.
And you did.
[Larry] Okay, sweetie.
- Okay. - Oh.
- What you doing? - Larry?
- Okay, sweetie. - I…
- Let's go. - [shudders] Oh.
- Who's this guy? - The second husband.
- I prefer current husband. - The current husband.
- Oh. - [Luke] Joanie, you're all right?
[Joan] Oh, my God.
- Honey. It was a lot for me too. - [breathing deeply]
Okay. I have to insist that I explain exactly what's going on to my client.
She clearly has a very "difficult" decision to make.
- [breathing shakily] Okay. Oh, that… - Come on.
- Oh, my God, he's really here. - [Ryan giggles] And very attractive.
[Joan] Is he taller?
So when you said you were waiting…
I conjured her image every day in my mind.
Thought I did a good job, but she's more stunning than I remember.
[stammers] Okay. That's a line, Luke.
You were my bartender.
Hmm?
[Ryan] Nope. Nope. Nope.
- Uh, mmm no. - God, he looked so young.
- [Ryan] This will have to do. - [sighs]
[sighs] Was he always that young?
That's a lot to take in.
The love of your life waiting 67 years.
And Larry.
Larry is my husband.
- One of two. - Yeah.
Oh, that's pretty.
You'll feel much better after you change out of that morbid ensemble.
[breathing heavily] Ah. Oh. Oh.
Yeah, that's pretty.
That's… [whispers] Oh, he's so young.
Oh, he's so young. [gasps] Oh, I don't…
[Ryan] What's your ETA, doll?
- [Joan breathing shakily] Oh. - How's it looking?
So… What…
What am I supposed to do, huh?
I need you to tell me… [shudders] …what to do.
Oh, my dear. Okay. I read your file.
And you are smart, passionate and decisive.
Oh. I am?
I have complete faith that you will choose the right eternity…
- Yeah. - …and the right person to spend it with.
- Mmm. - You'll do.
- Do for what? - [knocks on door]
Were you expecting someone, or…
Were you?
Uh… [gasps]
Oh, my God, Luke. What a surprise. [chuckles]
What the hell, Reese?
It's Ryan, and it's been Ryan for the last half hour.
- [sighs] Yeah. - You look amazing.
Yeah. [exhales] I'm married.
- To him. - To Larry.
And Larry seems nice.
Look, Joan, you must have thought, or hoped, that this might happen?
Well, I mean, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You know, I-I have imagined it.
- Great. - [sighs]
Hi.
- I'll leave you kids to it. [chuckles] - [breathing shakily] Oh.
Hi.
Did you even read my file?
You're more than words on a page to me, buddy. You didn't even bring it up.
Yeah, well, I had a lot on my mind. I just died.
So, I'm sorry that I forgot to mention that my wife's ex might be hanging around.
Technically, I don't think we can call him her ex.
First husband, maybe, but not an ex.
[stutters] No, I'm not calling… I'm never calling him that.
Okay. I'm just trying to anticipate what Ryan's gonna say. We have history.
Great. What kind of history?
- It was sexual. - Of course it was. [scoffs]
You know how many people wanted this case? So many people.
Really?
A man that's waited half a century for his love? Ah!
That's kinda sad if you think about it.
You really think that's the way that Joan's gonna think about it?
- I don't know. - It's okay.
I'm sure they've had one of these before.
I mean, I don't know about it. I've never had it.
But I bet you there's a process.
- He looks like Montgomery Clift. - Oof!
Oh, my gosh, I was saying this just the other day.
Montgomery Clift. He is so handsome.
- Luke is so handsome. - You're not helping.
I'm sorry, but it is what it is.
Luke is hot.
His eyes are bluer than the ocean. He has a better narrative.
No, he doesn't.
I have a better narrative.
I was married to her for 65 years and I gave her children.
Exactly. We go with that. That's strong.
There's nothing more powerful than emotional blackmail.
- Right? - Good on ya.
[clicks tongue, sighs]
So… [sighs] …how have you been?
Good. Yeah.
Well, I mean, I've been obviously dead, but, you know, good.
- Well, you look good. - Yeah.
I mean, you know, you always… you always looked…
- [giggles] You always looked good. - [sighs] Oh, yeah. Coming from you, huh?
Oh. Oh. [giggles]
Oh.
Yeah, I, uh…
[breathing heavily]
Look. I-I don't know what to say. It's… [sighs]
Well, I had a long time to think about what I was going to say.
- Oh. - I mean, I had a long, long time.
And?
And I'm drawing a blank.
Oh.
- [announcer] Warning. Code seven four. - [chuckles]
- [security] Code seven four. - Oh! Oh.
- [security] Eyes on the bogey. - [Joan] What the hell?
- Gary. - [Joan whimpers]
[Gary] Hey, Luke. You working tonight?
Not tonight. Tonight's a night off.
- Wait. Is this… - [grunting]
- Mm-hmm. - [grunts]
Joan? No! [chuckles]
- No. [grunts] No, please. - Move it!
[escapee] I can't look at another goddamn painting.
- It's so boring. - [Gary] All right.
- Well, I better go. - No! [grunting]
- But, hey, you are one lucky lady. - [Joan] Hmm?
[security] Gary!
- Oh. - Huh.
- [Gary] Move it. I'm sick of this crap. - [escapee] No, please!
[Gary] Get in here now!
[Luke] Oof.
Museum World's the worst!
- [Joan gasps] Oh, God. - [sighs]
Oh, my God. [breathes shakily] What-What did he do?
Oh, he tried to escape his eternity.
Once you've chosen, you can't go back here.
You have to get it right.
- Oh, that's a lot of pressure. - [sighs] Yeah, it is.
Look. I remembered what I wanted to say to you first.
What?
I love you.
Oh.
That's a… That's a good opener.
[chuckles] Yeah.
Look, I know this is hard for you, but I missed you.
I thought about you every single day.
There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think of you.
Yeah. You know, I…
I wanted you to be happy.
I wanted you to have a life.
- Yeah? - Yeah, of course.
But I waited.
You know, I-I waited because I wanted us to have a chance to have one too.
[breathing shakily] Oh.
I'm gonna be sick.
- You okay? - Oh, God. Why can you get sick here?
- Joan. - [retching] Oh.
- You all right? - Uh, Luke? Luke, please.
I need to think.
[breathes shakily] Okay?
[breathing heavily]
Oh.
Okay.
- [knocks on door] - [gasps]
[whispers] Luke?
Oh.
Okay. [breathing heavily]
- Hey, sweetie. - Oh, Larry.
So, I know this is a lot, but don't worry. I've been doing the research.
And here are some pretty good options.
Sorry, options for?
Yeah, for our eternity.
What?
Wow. You really look amazing.
- The long hair suits you. I love it. - [sighs] Oh.
What?
Oh. Everything works here.
Oh, Larry.
- What do you mean, "Larry"? - Well, it's complicated.
We were together a week ago.
Yeah, well, a lot has happened in a week. You died, Karen died. I died.
[stutters] I just been reunited with both of my dead husbands.
And I learned that I have only a week to pick where to spend eternity.
Karen finally kicked it. It's a big week for Oakdale.
[groans] Oh.
[sighs] Oh.
Hey.
- I know what'll make you feel better. - [sighs] Oh, what?
Squatting.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
[grunts] Just try it.
- Fine. Okay. - I'm telling you.
- Come on. Go. - Okay, fine.
[sighs]
Go.
Yeah. [chuckles]
- [whispers] Wow. - I know, right?
- I got so low there. [gasps] - You did get so low there.
- Yeah. I know. It feels so good. - [gasps]
[both grunt]
I've been doing a bunch of stuff.
- [Joan] Oh. Looking good. - [Larry] Yeah.
- You look good. [pants] - I know. Thanks. Thanks.
- Work it out. - I miss these hips.
- Whoo! - Oh, God.
Yeah, look at this. Look at this.
Oh. You were right. That, uh, that did make me feel better.
I knew it would.
- Oh. - [both panting]
[Joan inhales sharply, sighs]
- [coughs] - Are you kidding me?
- Larry! - It's too much salt.
[coughing]
I need… I need time.
Okay? I…
I just… I need to clear my head.
Okay. You're right. I'm being insensitive.
And we can talk about it in the morning.
- [sighs] Thank you. - Okay.
[breathing shakily]
- These are so stupid. - Are you kidding me?
What are you doing?
[grunts] I'm going to bed.
[panting] I'm tired too.
Long day for me.
[door closes]
[sighs]
Oh.
[sighs]
Oh, Larry.
Oh.
[announcer] Remember, geopolitical differences no longer matter.
You are dead.
Sorry, buddy, but your seven days are up.
[grunts]
Holy crap.
"Holy crap. For God's sakes. Bloody hell." Are you sure you're not religious?
Hey, hey, hey. Is he here?
Oh, yeah, he is. But it's sad actually.
No, he's… He-He's my Jo's favorite.
- Him? - Yeah. She loves him.
- Really? - He's the best.
Oh, okay.
Hey, do you know him?
Yeah, of course I know him.
Would he do you a favor?
Who you talking to? It's me. Obviously, duh.
- But you're sure? Him? - Yes.
Okay.
Wow. Look at this.
Single bed. That's nice, right?
We got ourselves here a kitchenette.
- Handy. - [sniffs]
Let's see what's in that fridge.
Oh, my gosh.
You are in luck.
Hummus.
You know what? It's fine.
You sort this out for me, I'll be outta here in no time.
- Oh, I love it. - This is gonna save it.
I love it. You are focused.
- Keeping your eyes on the prize. - What's that smell?
- It's hummus. - [sniffs] No, it's not.
- [light switches clicking] - [electricity humming]
[chattering]
[rooster crowing]
I…
[sighs]
[grunts, sniffs]
All right.
Ever think 1930s Germany would've been great if it wasn't for all the Nazis?
[chuckles]
Well, think no more.
[singing in German]
[knocks on door]
Oh. [sighs]
Please be coffee.
Okay. Please be coffee.
Oh, Larry.
I know, I know, but I got a surprise for you.
No, no, no. I actually need less surprises.
Like, just, you know, zero surprises.
Joan, I promise you're gonna like this.
You trust me, right?
Yeah. Okay.
Yeah.
She trusts me.
[announcer] Next arrival in 15 minutes.
You look incredible.
- Thanks, honey. - Yeah.
Are you excited?
- Sure. - Got any ideas what it could be?
- [chuckles] - No.
- Here we go. Yeah. - Oh, that's sweet. Look at you.
That's for you.
Need a little bubbles.
[Joan] Oh. That's, um…
Yeah, that's sweet.
What? Oh, no. That's not it.
Oh, gosh.
Lights!
["Everybody Loves Somebody" playing]
[Larry whispers] Look. Look. Look up there.
- Hon, is that… Wait, Larry. - Yeah.
♪ Everybody loves somebody sometime ♪
- What'd I tell you? What'd I tell you? - [squeals] Oh, my God!
- [whispers] That's our guy. - [gasps]
♪ Everybody falls in love somehow ♪
- I know. - Oh, my goodness.
- [Dean Martin] This is for Joan. - [Larry] Did I do good or what?
- You really did. You did great. - What did I tell ya?
- He sounds amazing. - [gasps]
♪ My time… ♪
- Ah, he looks great. - [whispers] Oh, my gosh. He really does.
♪ …is now ♪
- [mic feedback] - Oh, okay.
- Guess he still likes to drink. - Yeah.
- Or he's just, you know, a little rusty. - Yeah.
- Still for Jill. - Joan!
♪ Falls in love somehow ♪
[clicks tongue, inhales]
♪ Something in my heart keeps saying ♪
[muffled] Keep it together.
- Larry, are you sure that's Dean Martin? - I don't know.
[giggles]
♪ …is here ♪
- [mic feedback] - Oh, shit.
- Be right back. - Okay.
[inhales sharply, smacks lips]
Anna, who the hell is this? That's not Dean Martin.
- Hey, baby. - Of course not. It's Richard Johnson.
- Oh, no. No. - Celebrity impersonators die too, Larry.
- Why wouldn't you tell me? - I thought you knew.
I thought it was weird you kept saying, "This is Joanie's favorite."
I was like, "Richard? Richard is Joanie's favorite?"
You knew that's not what I meant.
Well, now that I say it out loud, I understand that it does not make sense.
- [sighs] Please. I'm so lonely, babe. - Oh. [groans]
Also, he has a crippling alcohol problem, and I forgot to mention that to you,
and that's my bad.
- That is your bad. - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
[sighs] I can't fathom a scenario which this could've gone worse.
Help Ol' Blue Eyes with his old blue balls, huh?
- [Luke] No, no, no. - [Joan] Oh, my… [gasps]
Oh. Hey, Luke.
[grunts]
- Blue Eyes was Frank. - You're the man, Luke!
- It just got worse. It just got worse. - Oh.
- Are you okay? - Yes.
- Yeah? - Yeah, thanks. Sorry.
I'm grateful that you were passing.
Well, actually, I was… [stutters] Um…
- You were… No. Oh, no. - Well, I was here because…
Luke, take her back to the room for a hot bath.
Okay, yeah. I think we got it--
[clamoring]
I don't know what that guy was doing. And why are you going--
- What is wrong with you? - I know. I'm trying.
I thought it was the real Dean Martin. I swear to God.
- What's your problem? - Stop! Stop it!
[breathes shakily]
You two, come with me.
No. No, no, no, no, no, no.
You two st… You stay here.
Excuse me, y'all. Excuse me.
- [clears throat] - Excuse me.
You're excused.
You know, I could've handled that myself.
[scoffs] Yeah.
Yeah.
[imitating Luke] Yeah. Yeah.
[Joan] You know, my grandfather, he had psychotic issues.
And maybe it just skips a generation. Because there's no way that this is real.
How in God's name can this be real? [laughing] My God.
Is this hell?
- Technically, hell does-- - No, no! I didn't say speak.
- You ever work this place out? - [Joan shouting in distance]
Nah. It just gets more and more confusing.
[announcer] Do not be alarmed. Everything is as it should be.
Gimme your phone. Just give it to me.
Hey, honey. So we're talking about bending the rules just a smidge.
- It was my idea. - It was my idea.
[Anna, distorted] I took his idea and I made it better. I'm making a plan.
[Ryan, distorted] Oh, it's about control?
[Anna] Yep. Yep.
[door opens]
Oh.
- So? - Good news.
- I talked to Frank, and basically-- - Actually, I talked to Frank.
The point is, somebody talked to Frank.
They then talked to Tom, and then they talked to a guy way up top.
- The big guy. - Kevin.
And you got approved for a plan.
Anna, just say the plan.
- Okay, sorry. So typic-- - So, typically here--
Anna. You're Anna?
- No. - Okay.
So typically when you get here,
you get to pick eternity, and that's it. Bing, bang, boom.
However, in this unique circumstance, you've gotten approved for a special visa.
Joan will be allowed two visits to an eternity.
- One with each of her former husbands. - Mm-hmm.
- And then? - And then she'll decide.
Between the two of you.
It seems like kind of a high-pressure scenario.
Okay. Well, you could all choose the same eternity
and then work it out from there.
But then you'd be in the same place together forever.
Oh, that could work.
- No, no. - I'm done… [stutters]
I'm done with this guy creeping in the shadows.
- Creeping in the shadows? - Lurking.
- Lurking? - Yeah. You're a lurker, pal.
And you're waiting beyond to spoil a half a century of marriage.
Well, I'm sorry I died defending our country.
- It was Korea, buddy. Relax. - What'd you say to me?
You didn't exactly storm the beaches of Normandy, did you?
- What… What are you doing? - You went there.
Hey. Hey! Stop!
- Hit him back, Larry. - Stop!
- [Luke] I will bare-knuckle you. - Yes, Luke!
[Joan] Stop it! Okay?
This is what we're doing!
So, just…
flip a coin and decide who's going first.
No.
I will not stand for another man dating my wife.
[scoffs]
Maybe you should've thought about that before you married another man's wife.
Boys!
Who's going first?
- I have a coin. - [sighs]
[Larry mutters]
[sighs]
Oh, shit.
- Is that a pretzel? - No.
- Oh, my God. - You still eating pretzels.
- Yeah. [grunts] Relax. - Get on with it.
Heads or tails?
Heads.
[announcer] The next stop is Mountain World 312.
Oh. [chuckles]
- What? - I just…
forgot how handsome you are.
We were an attractive couple.
Oh, come on. Everybody…
Everybody assumed that you got me pregnant and had to marry me.
Yeah, no. My mother, she was… she was so upset
when I told her that I wasn't, because she… [inhales]
Well, she wanted hot grandkids so badly.
Not that my kids are ugly.
I'm sure that they are hot.
Not that I care.
I didn't assume.
Yeah. 'Cause I'm not… I'm not into hot kids.
No, I'm not into hot kids either.
Yeah.
I'm not into kids.
Good.
That's good.
[both chuckle]
[Luke gasping]
I remember the sky being bluer.
Oh.
Was it always that shade?
Oh, yeah. Pretty much.
Is that cloud moving?
[stammers]
Yep.
They move.
- [laughs] - [trills lips]
[exhales sharply]
Is it how you imagined it?
It's perfect.
[Joan] Oh, boy. Oh. Okay.
Okay.
- [screams] - [laughs]
Can't die twice.
You can't die twice.
[sighs] Okay.
- [shouts] - [laughs]
This okay?
Mm-hmm.
- Yeah. - Yeah?
No, we didn't know where to put any of the trash.
And so we didn't know they had a place where bears didn't get to.
It's cold. Was it always this cold?
[laughing] It's cold.
Let's get you somewhere nice and warm, huh?
Mmm.
I don't like how Luke's been going around telling people he died in the war.
Larry, the man died in the war.
No, I know, but it's the way he says it. "The war," like it's one of the cool ones.
Okay, I think we should stop squabbling about his obvious heroism,
because I don't think that's our strongest point of attack.
[breathing heavily]
The problem is Luke's always been a memory.
Now, I don't know how you compete with a memory.
All we are, are a collection of memories.
That's depressing. I don't like that.
But the point is, you're going to have to remind her
of why she fell in love with you in the first place.
Honestly…
I don't know why she fell in love with me.
Mmm.
Well, you're gonna have to figure that out. And fast.
There's someone here I gotta find.
Okay. Now we're cooking. Now we're cooking.
My great-granddaughter Charlotte would love this place.
She's a little adventurer.
I guess so was her mother, for that matter.
- Sorry. - It's fine.
I'm sure she misses you.
So is that okay? You know, talking about…
- Mm-hmm. [sips] Yeah. - Okay.
- You're not angry with me? - For what?
It's just… Sixty-seven years, you know?
I remarried after two years, and you waited 67 years.
Sixty-seven years. Wow.
- [laughs] - Mmm.
Yeah.
[breathes deeply]
When eternity's on the line, one lifetime of waiting seems like nothing.
Jesus, you are so perfect.
I'm not perfect.
Oh, that's what perfect people say. [laughs]
Fine. I hate hearing about your kids
and your grandkids and the kids they had, okay?
I mean, I don't-I don't hate them.
Okay.
But it kills me that I didn't get to have all that with you.
[sighs]
I'm glad you had it.
I'm glad you had a happy life.
[inhales sharply]
I would go to the docks waiting for you to return.
Watching all the soldiers stream onto shore,
'cause I convinced myself that they got it wrong.
- That you would be among them. And… - Joan.
I would just sit and watch and wait.
So I…
I did wait for you, Luke.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Hey.
Come with me.
[crying]
If I wasn't already dead, I'd be worried you're about to kill me.
- Do you trust me? - Oh. [chuckling] Sure.
Come on.
Hello, Mr. Fenwick.
Just Fenwick.
Right. Uh, we haven't been here before--
Individual or shared?
- Shared. - Do not touch the exhibits.
Remember, the exhibits aren't real.
We take no responsibility for emotional trauma.
Happy reliving.
You ready?
For what?
[chuckles]
[Luke] Every eternity has one.
We call it archive tunnels.
[Joan] Which means?
[Luke] I don't know. I've never been to an eternity before.
We can find out together.
[gasps]
- [Luke] Hi. What's your name? - Oh.
- Yeah, you. - Oh. I-I'm Joan.
Yeah.
[laughs] What's your name?
- Luke. - Nice to meet you, Luke.
- Oh, Luke. - [Luke] Joan's a pretty name.
I haven't seen you around here before.
[Joan] Oh… [stammering] …well, I just moved to the city.
Just around the corner. Briar…
[Luke] Briar cliff?
Come on.
[chatting indistinctly]
- [Luke] I was so nervous. Look at me. - That's not what I'm saying--
Look at you.
Oh. [laughing]
[Luke] Joan, I love you so much.
[Joan chuckles, gasps]
[Luke] Come on.
[breathing heavily]
Oh, nope. No, no.
No. Luke, come on.
- Oh, we're really going for it, eh? - Hey.
Stop! [laughing]
[Luke sighs]
I don't wanna see this one.
I love you.
[sighs] Worst day of my life.
[breathes shakily, cries]
Luke. [breathes shakily]
I missed you so much.
Yeah.
[kisses]
[breathes deeply]
We should go.
Luke, please.
I don't remember this.
- You don't need to see this. - What's he doing at our dock?
Can we just go please?
[gasps] Please…
Oh, God, Luke. Please.
[laughs]
[Larry] Will you marry me?
- [Joan laughs] Of course. - [Larry chuckles]
He made her death about him. It's selfish, is what it is.
- If you say so. So who's Karen? - Oh, God. She's a neighbor.
Longest-serving member of the Oakdale Avenue HOA,
and she won't let you forget it.
She would always leave these little sticky notes on my door.
- She was a very passive-aggressive woman. - Okay. Here we are. Here we are.
- Gimme some space. - Sorry.
[gasps] Larry. I heard about the pretzels.
Karen. You're still old.
I'm 72 now, thank you very much.
Yeah, no.
Sorry, it's just a weird age to be your happiest.
- You remember when Jim died? - That was your happiest?
- When your husband died? - Oh, Jim was a dear.
But anyway, that summer when I went on that pottery retreat with my friend Barb…
Right.
Well, Barb and I were lovers.
- [gasps] - Oh. I-I didn't--
I went full lesbian for three months, and it was fabulous.
But then I came back and I had the kids, and the grandkids
and the church group, and I just went back into that miserable old closet.
Oh, that explains why you were so mean to me.
Oh, no. I just didn't like you.
Right.
I came around eventually.
- You grow on people, Larry. - Mm-hmm.
I'm thinking…
Paris Land.
It's basically Paris in the '60s, but they speak English with an accent.
And they have civil rights.
I take it you're waiting on Joan.
No, she's already here.
Ooh, shit week for Oakdale.
- So where you guys going? - It's complicated.
- Oh, are you gay too? - Mmm.
- Honestly, that would be easier. - [Karen sighs] Look at you.
You seem so uncomfortable.
- [Anna] Mm-hmm. - Nah.
- I-I'm hot. - [Karen] Think about it.
The worst thing in the world has already happened to you.
[chuckles] He wishes.
- Do tell. - So, girl, this is what happened.
Okay. L-Listen, I came here to ask a question,
and goddamn it, I'm gonna ask Karen a question.
Then ask the question.
Karen, did Joan ever mention, um…
Why do you think she fell in love with me?
- [Karen] Uh… - Karen, say something.
- Anything. Just say something. - Well, I…
- Um… [sighs] - Anything.
[inhales deeply] I don't know. She just did.
- [Larry sighs] - I mean, I-I never thought
she'd be happy again after Luke died…
- [groans] - …but you made her happy.
Mmm.
You made your life about making her happy.
- Isn't that enough? - [Larry] Eh.
Luke is here.
- Joan's Luke? - Mm-hmm.
- Oh, he was so dreamy. - [groans]
I used to pretend I fancied him.
- Of course, I didn't. - Because you're a big, secret lesbian?
- Exactly. - Mmm.
But, wow.
He was perfect.
Hey, listen to me.
No one is perfect.
No one is perfect!
- [Karen] Larry, don't be like that! - No one is perfect!
- [Joan] Luke. Luke, would you calm down? - [Luke] About what?
[grunts] You know, if you just…
If you think about it, it was his way of saying
that-that he knew that you would always be a part of me.
Come on, Joan. He wormed his way in.
He manipulated you by using your grief.
- No. - He is such a leech.
That is not what happened, okay?
You left.
I didn't leave. I died.
[breathes heavily]
Would you have said yes if you weren't still grieving?
I never stopped grieving.
Would you say yes?
[scoffs]
[Anna] Larry, Larry! Listen.
I am rooting for you, but this is not the way, okay?
It's not even about him. This is about you and Joan.
The woman who you have loved for 65 beautiful years,
and have made her very happy.
This is about showing that same woman that you're willing
to spend all of eternity together to do the same thing.
- Now, is this gonna make her happy? - [grunts]
- Okay, cool. - What kind of creep
leaves their door unlocked?
- Maybe he doesn't have anything to hide. - Nah, everybody's got something to hide.
[Anna sighs]
That's a little dramatic.
It's actually really hard to keep track of time here, so I applaud him.
It's very practical.
Larry, come on.
Ha! Does a perfect person look at this?
You've never looked at porn before, Larry?
- [Anna] Mm-hmm. - Ah. What about this?
Look at all these numbers.
- Yeah, it's numbers. - That one's got lipstick.
- Mm-hmm. - That means they're kissing.
Yeah, it's been 67 years. What would you do?
Larry, come on. This is enough. It's too much.
Yeah. What am I doing? Let's go. [sniffs]
- Let's just go. - What the…
You goddamn snake.
Well, clearly the date didn't go too well, did it?
Oh, you took advantage of her.
What're you talking about?
You made your engagement about me.
You used my death to worm your way in.
- I don't have to listen to this. - I felt awful leaving Joan alone.
I genuinely hoped she would find someone.
Yeah, right.
But she woulda been better off alone than with you.
- [grunting, panting] - Well, I tried.
Hey, is that hair dye? [laughs]
[Luke groans]
[Larry] Stop!
My nose!
Get off of me!
- Get off me! - Get off me.
That's it? That's all y'all can do?
I didn't betray you, Luke.
[pants] I didn't even know you.
Yeah. Then why did you propose at the dock? [sniffs]
Larry.
[announcer] Trauma specialists to Junction 145.
Plane crash incoming.
Baby formula. Here.
- Sir… - We also do breast milk.
[vendors talking]
- Just a minute of your time. Please! - Okay.
- L-Let's get you somewhere quiet. - [Joan] Oh, God.
- Bromance World. - Why won't anybody come to Library World?
[announcer] Final call for High School World.
What's wrong with these eternities?
Oh, some are full.
- Others are just out of fashion. - Hmm.
Quite a few of them weren't very PC by today's standards.
If that makes any sense.
So, like, what happened to the people inside of them?
They are still in there living out their afterlives.
Right.
Oh, God.
[sighs] I don't know what to do.
You spent your entire life worrying about other people.
Now it's time to decide what's best for you.
Let me guess.
Luke is best for me?
I want you to choose Luke because it's the life you missed.
Eternity is a long time to have regrets.
But that's your decision to make.
[breathes shakily] Oh, God.
What if I… What if I… I don't know what to choose?
Well, you need to figure it out.
Sorry.
Just have fun at the beach tomorrow.
It is a paradise after all.
[snoring]
I didn't think it would be this busy.
- Yeah, it's fine. - Very popular. It's okay.
Wonder if we can get an umbrella.
[Joan] Yeah, you'd think that they would hand one to you, huh? Or a chair?
[Larry] Look at the view.
[sighs]
You were so beautiful, honey.
Oh. [chuckles]
I mean, you are beautiful.
And you've always been beautiful,
- you never stopped being beautiful. - I get what you mean, love.
[Larry breathes deeply]
You are right though. This would've been a nice vacation.
I mean, it doesn't have to be here.
If you want another eternity, we can…
We can go to space for all I care.
As long as Luke's not floating around.
[snoring]
You look pretty good yourself.
- [gasps] - [beachgoer] Fore!
That's golf, idiot!
[Joan] Okay, Larry, it's a child.
Oh, he's-he's probably 90.
I actually died when I was nine.
- Oh. - Oh.
- Right. [clears throat] - Hit and run.
Least it was quick.
It was not quick.
It was very, very slow.
- Oh. - [mouthing words] Get. Get.
Hon, why don't we… why don't we just get out of here.
Okay.
[Larry] How was my funeral?
Decent turnout?
Yeah, you would've liked it.
Really?
Well, I mean, you would've pretended to hate it, but it was nice.
[laughs]
- Zach did the eulogy. - [chuckles]
Did he try to be funny?
Yeah, he did. He did try to be funny. But, you know, it was sweet.
The kids were-were so devastated.
Who was the most devastated?
- [chuckling] I'm not answering that. - [chuckling]
Sweetie, I'm sorry I wasn't there when you…
You know.
Yeah, but you were waiting for me when I arrived.
[breathes deeply]
The kids will be happy that we're together.
[sighs]
Larry.
Mmm?
You have to understand that I'm in an impossible situation.
No. I don't understand.
I understand you loved Luke.
I loved Sally Daniels in the ninth grade.
He wasn't some childhood crush, Larry. He was my husband.
Yeah, but we built a life together, and now you just wanna throw it all away.
Well, I never had a chance to start a life with Luke, and…
- you know, God, he waited 67-- - Sixty-seven years.
Yeah, I get it. I would've done the same thing.
Well, you knew I was close.
I was ready to wait for as long as it took.
- [sighs] - I was.
It's getting late. We should head back, okay, honey?
[sighs]
You're an idiot, Larry.
Okay, hold on.
I'm holding on.
- [Larry] You gotta shift your weight. - Okay, okay.
- Just don't hurt yourself, please. - [Larry] I know, but you're gonna tip us.
[panting]
- ["I Can't Forget" playing on radio] - ♪ I can't forget you ♪
♪ I've got these memories of you ♪
- ♪ I can't forget you ♪ - [sighs deeply]
♪ I'll always be loving you ♪
♪ Once we were happy ♪
♪ We were so carefree and gay ♪
[Joan] Come on, I wanna see the kids.
But you take a wrong turn in one of those things,
you could be stuck in your worst nightmare.
Okay, what… Forget about it. I just… I thought it could be fun.
I-I know. I'm just… I'm-I'm trying to protect you.
No, you are protecting yourself.
What're you so afraid you'll see?
- Hmm? - [sighs]
It doesn't matter. It's fine.
- You don't know what's going-- - Honey, it's okay.
Gonna happen in there.
[Larry] Wait. [stammers] Joan… I…
Look. They look miserable.
[sighs]
Larry, do you remember our first date?
The flat.
When we pulled over, do you remember what you said?
You said that, "This is the perfect place for a flat tire.
Wide shoulder, beautiful day, quiet road."
Till I realized I didn't have a spare.
Yeah, well, you never let me know it.
You seemed so broken back then, honey.
I-I felt like I needed to be strong for you.
I just wanted to make everything okay.
Right down to that flat tire.
And you did make everything okay.
We had a wonderful life together.
[sighs]
Come here.
[breathes deeply]
I don't care where we end up.
Just as long as we're together.
[elevator dings]
Okay.
- So, uh, what-what's what's going on? - What is…
Yeah, what're you guys--
I think it's important you hear what Luke has to say.
I'm so sorry, Larry.
You should be, 'cause after Larry broke into my apartment, I--
- [stammers] After he what? - [stammers] No, the door was open.
- Was it? - Jesus, Larry.
- Not a big deal. - What is your… Sorry, what is that?
- [Luke] Do the honors. - Okay. Look, that I can ex…
- I can explain. It's okay. - It sounds way worse than it is.
- "Dear Jo, I…" No. - No. Give it to me.
We don't need to do this right now.
- Honey… Just give me… - Joanie, I just wanted you to know
- the truth about this man. - Hey, I can… Let me talk--
- [Larry groans] - [Luke] Oh, go grovel.
Just… Okay. I know, but it-it-it's out of context, honey.
Yes, it is.
I'm sorry, you said that…
that you were willing to wait as long as it took,
but you-you couldn't even last a measly week?
I was. I honest… I…
Um, I was trying to set up our eternity, and--
And you just assumed that I would come find you?
Well, yeah, because you're my wife.
I'm sorry, you were… you were really willing to trick me into an eternity?
No, swe… I wasn't trying to trick you, okay? I honestly…
I swear to God, I thought I was doing the right thing.
God. And to think I was killing myself over this.
And you-you…
God, you-you are so selfish!
- I'm being selfish? - Yeah.
You are being selfish, because you're here
trying to decide between a man buffet of…
men.
[stammering] And I guarantee you've already slept with Mr. Perfect over here.
- I'm not perfect. - As a matter of fact, I haven't.
But you know what?
Yeah, I've thought about it.
I mean, who wouldn't want that kind of fiery, sparky love?
- Hell yeah. - No.
I guess everyone's been right then.
About what, Larry?
That you never loved me the way that you loved him.
That I was just a consolation prize.
Well, I, uh…
[breathes shakily] I know he would never lie to me.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
Do you know that he dyes his hair?
And do you know that he's got a-a worryingly large porn collection?
Oh, Jesus Christ, Larry.
I know about the Playboy s in the garage.
Coasters, coasters. Tell her about the coasters.
Yes, and the coasters.
He's got a, uh, a basket of coasters with ladies' numbers on 'em.
Okay… What is he talking about?
What is he talking about? He's talking about breaking and entering.
No, see. He's being… He's very…
- He's slippery. - Oh, yeah?
He's a snake and he's being purposefully vague.
Yeah, like how he was with "the war."
Ignore them, Luke. You're perfect.
[screaming]
- He's unhinged. - You okay, babe?
I'm not perfect, okay? Yes, I dye my hair.
And yes, I slept with a few women over the last 60 years.
Oh, okay. I mean, that's understandable.
And one guy. One guy.
- [Anna] Don't lie. - Two.
Two guys. Just to see. Both times.
And I went through that BDSM phase about 30 years ago--
Yes, you did. I remember it like it was yesterday.
- [cheers] - Yeah, me too.
Was fun, but n-not for me.
I didn't expect you to be a-a priest for so long--
And I think I was beginning to bald when I died. I-I-I comb it over.
Whatever. You keep saying I'm perfect, you keep saying I'm perfect,
everyone keeps saying I'm perfect. I am not perfect. Nobody is perfect.
Finally. Thank you.
But I did wait.
I waited for you, Joanie.
He should at least lose some points for all the sex.
God, this is not a competition, Larry.
- [both] Yes, it is! - [Anna] Sweetheart.
- It is 100%, for sure a competition. - It is in fact a competition.
- That's literally what we're here for. - Look, Joan.
I'm done with the games. You need to decide if it's me or if it's him.
Yeah, you need to make a decision.
- [Luke] Who's it gonna be? - [Larry] Which one?
[Luke] It's gotta be one of us. You gotta pick.
I-I think we need to give my client some time to think.
Let's just go for a walk. Let her breathe a little.
[Ryan] Let's get you boys something to drink.
- [Anna] A drink sounds nice, right? - [door opens]
[Ryan] Something stiff.
[door closes]
[sighs]
- [insects chirping] - [knocks on door]
[sighs]
[groans]
[sighs]
God.
Yeah?
I heard you kicked it too.
[crying]
Sweetie…
Oh…
Well, I guess there's nothing more we can do. It's up to her.
[sighs]
[grunts, sniffs]
Can I have one of them?
Just relax and get your mind off those boys.
We deserve this.
You know what's funny about you being here
is that you actually knew me when I was with both of them.
Oh, for Christ's sake, Joan.
- Drink. - Oh, sure.
Just… [grunts] Mmm.
- I got a toast. This one is for Korea. - Yeah, you're damn right.
Not enough films made about it.
Well, except M*A*S*H .
[blows] What the hell's M*A*S*H ?
Ah, man. You gotta watch M*A*S*H .
Then I choose Luke.
- Okay. - No.
Larry.
Larry. Okay.
God, shitty shit!
I'm so sorry.
[sighs]
[chair squeaking]
- I don't think you're going bald. - What're you talking about?
No. It can…
You can easily pass that off as a double crown.
You know what? I appreciate that.
A-And you're pretty handsome yourself.
You don't… You don't have to say that.
You're a catch. Y-Y-You got that mysterious thing.
Like, "I'm thinking deep stuff." And women, they're into that.
Really? 'Cause I'm not. I mean, honestly.
I've been dead, and I haven't once thought about the meaning of life.
They're like, "This is it." and I'm like, "Yeah, that makes sense to me."
You're smart. Don't overthink it.
You know who you are, you know what you want, and you go and get it.
You start thinking about all the infinite possibilities,
and guess what? You never move.
- She doesn't deserve you. - And she doesn't deserve you.
You are smart, you are handsome, and you're a war hero.
And you gave her kids.
- I did. - I bet you looked after 'em well.
- Yeah, I did. - Salud.
And at first, it was about Luke and me.
And then there were decisions about Larry and me.
- And, you know, it was about the kids. - Are you considering this eternity?
And, you know, work. But this one is about me.
And…
- [groans] - You are dead.
- Jesus, Karen. - You lived your life,
and now you're dead.
You have no obligations to anyone.
Maybe it's best you all have a clean slate.
Uh, i-it's just we have others interested, and I feel--
A little less of this, a little more of this.
Thank you, honey.
- Thank you. - [Karen] You can go.
It's just…
- She's a… [sniffing] - She's a perfect person.
She's a perfect person.
[both sobbing]
Come here.
[rooster crows]
[Joan groans]
[busy signal beeping]
[knocks on door]
[Joan] Coming!
[Joan groaning]
Do we have a little headache this morning?
I've made my decision.
[smacks lips] Okay.
[breathes deeply] I'll gather your husbands.
I need a shower.
Yeah. You do.
I'm so nervous. Are you guys nervous?
You should definitely be nervous. You too. Not to…
Not to mean that you should be more nervous than anybody else,
but I'm just saying there's a lot of nerves going all around.
- Hey. Why are you talking so fast? - Are you nervous?
Oh, my gosh. 'Cause I'm nervous.
You guys should both be shitting yourselves right now.
- [Larry] Shut up. - [Anna] Sorry.
My client has reached her decision.
Love is a bond greater than death.
- [Anna] Mm-hmm. - Oh.
But some bonds are, well, better bonded. [inhales deeply]
You have your ionic bonds, you have your covalent bonds.
Your savings bonds.
- Bail bonds. You-- - Yeah. Okay. That's good.
- That's great. Thank you. - Thank you.
[breathes heavily] Okay.
[breathing shakily] Okay.
So, Larry.
My first morning without you, I…
God, I hoped it was a bad dream.
I-I smelled your toast burning downstairs.
I…
I heard the rattle of the back door and…
You know, I even…
I even threw your pillows on the ground the way…
the way you always did and…
You know, I was pretending…
- [breathes shakily] - It's okay, honey.
[breathes shakily] And, uh, the funny thing is…
is that I… I felt that before.
[swallows] When, uh…
[inhales shakily] When Luke died.
We never had a chance to see where our love would take us.
But you gave me everything that I needed in the time we had.
Yeah.
So…
God, how lucky am I…
[chuckles] …to have had you both, you know?
And, uh, maybe things worked out the way they were meant to.
Hmm.
S-So, what are you… What are you saying? I don't…
[breathes shakily]
I'm saying, um…
that I choose…
[inhales shakily] I choose neither of you.
- You choose neither of us? - You're kidding, right?
So, you're gonna hurt three people instead of one?
No, there was never going to… to be one.
Don't you get it?
I was going to be crushed either way.
But we built a life together.
Well, yeah. Maybe the beauty in life is that…
Is that things end.
You know? Maybe that's what… [smacks lips] …this is all for.
So…
So, I choose neither of you.
Yeah. Okay.
[sobs]
[electrical buzzing]
Why do we even bother? I mean, do we help?
- Do we make a difference? - Of course we make a difference.
We annoy them.
They've just died.
They're scared.
It's better to be annoyed than to be scared.
Right?
You sure about this?
Oh, yeah. I'm sure.
Well, let's go. [chuckles]
[Larry] You were right, by the way. Even my proposal was about you.
You were the ghost I could never compete with.
No.
Do you have any idea how jealous I am of you?
You got to have a life with her.
Hey, you know you were the last thing I saw before I died?
What do you mean?
[sighs] I was eating a pretzel and my great-granddaughter--
- Charlotte? - Yeah.
Shows me this old picture of you and Joan on your wedding day.
And then I started choking.
- [chuckles] - [laughs]
Yeah. I gotta admit, you weren't who I was expecting.
You're exactly what I was expecting.
Minus the porn and hair dye.
About six months before I died, I was…
I was graying at the temples and, you know, I just didn't care.
'Cause Joan and I, we'd just had this conversation about starting a family.
Everything was laid out in front of us.
[inhales deeply] That was my happiest.
I'm 35.
Joan was pregnant with our second and we went out to dinner one night.
The doctor was telling us about all these new studies
where you're not supposed to drink when you're pregnant.
And I got my glass of wine and Joan took a sip of it,
and she just had this little smile on her face.
And I don't know but, in that moment, it just felt like we were a team.
You okay?
Oh, my God. [swallows] I have to go.
- [grunts] - What's going on?
Your AC will explain everything.
What's an AC?
[exclaims]
We can go to this café on the Seine where a fake Sartre
and fake Camus have a fight and they have great pain au chocolat .
[Joan] Was Camus the one who always talked about death?
'Cause that just kinda sounds pointless now.
Really?
You know, I read Sartre For Beginners .
How do you say Sartre?
- Sar… Sartre. - Sartre.
And--
What's Larry doing here?
I…
[sighs]
- Please. Larry. I made up my mind, okay? - Yeah.
- You know this is best. Okay? - Your hair is different.
- Okay. Thank you. - [clears throat] No.
Y-You never had it like that when we were together.
No. I-I cut it after…
It suits you.
Larry.
You should go with Luke.
Okay? You deserve a shot at that kind of love, honey.
That fiery, sparky kind.
[inhales shakily] But I was so, so happy with you.
I… [stammers] I know.
But you were happiest with him.
- [clicks tongue] It's okay. - B-But what… What about you?
[breathes heavily]
D-Don't worry about me. I'll be in the sun.
Knowing you're happy makes me happy.
[sniffles]
But it doesn't work unless you're happy.
Oh, Larry.
[Larry sniffles]
[Joan] Okay.
You better go break the news to Karen. [chuckles]
Okay.
- Okay. - It's the right thing.
[Joan] Wow.
[sighs]
[sniffles]
[announcer] The train doors will close in 30 minutes.
[Ryan] Babe, we shouldn't flaunt our sexy love in front of his face.
He has no one.
- Hey. - Hi.
[chuckles]
How are you holding up, Lar?
Eh, I'm all right.
No hard feelings, right, Larry? [chuckles]
For what it's worth, I totally thought you had it there for a moment.
Thanks.
What's this? Are you two together now?
- [sucks teeth] Yeah. [giggles] - We're gonna give it another go.
Good.
You really showed us that living without someone is a hollow mess.
- What? - I'm sorry.
- Okay. - [Anna] Give us a minute, please.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. I miss you already.
God. [chuckles, grunts]
You wanna?
[sighs]
I gotta say, I'm really proud of you, Larry.
You're doing the right thing.
I feel terrible.
Yeah. That happens.
Sometimes doing the right thing does feel terrible.
So, you never told me why you ended up staying here.
Um, coming here…
I'll just say that coming here was an improvement for me.
Here, I get to help lost souls find their happiness.
And that gives me a sense of purpose.
But after time, you stop caring about what's best for people.
You're just pushing them along
and making sure the afterlife is ticking over, you know?
Sell, sell, sell.
But then you came along.
Yeah. With that great ordinary love.
And you reminded me of why I chose this place.
So, thank you for that, Larry.
- Well, I guess you're welcome. - [chuckles]
- [sighs] - So…
have you chosen your eternity?
Yeah, I think I have.
- Okay. Come on. - What?
- Come on. Come on. - Oh, God. Oh, no.
- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. - [laughing]
Oh, boy.
- Oh. - Hey.
- Yeah. - It's not bad, huh?
Oh, it's…
It's very charming.
Shit. [laughing]
- A car crash. - Oh.
Uh, old age. Cancer.
- War. - Oh. War. Which one?
- I or II? - Um, Korea.
- Which counts. Yeah. - Oh.
[both speaking French]
Well done.
Thank you.
[panting]
I love you so much.
So much.
[sighs]
- [Larry] Hey. - [Joan] Hi.
Uh, so you like books?
Uh, yeah. I'm a librarian, so…
Can I help you with something?
- Yeah. I can read. - [chuckles]
[Joan] That's good. You're in the right place.
- What's that one? - That's Dickens, Great Expectations .
Any good?
Um, you know, I haven't read it.
But that's 'cause I don't really love Dickens.
- Oh. - It's a big controversy.
- Yeah. I hate him. - [laughs]
You got a… You got a nice laugh.
Oh, thank you. [laughing]
- I'm Joan. - Larry.
- Nice to meet you, Larry. - Nice to meet you.
[strains] Okay.
[panting] Okay.
- That's it, slow and steady. - Okay.
[panting] Okay.
Keep up the good work, Joan.
Oh, yeah. Thanks, Simon. [whispers] Go fuck yourself.
[pants]
- It's good. - [Luke] Yeah, really good.
- Oh, it feels good. - Come on, let's go.
Okay.
[whistling]
[baby crying]
[Larry] What is that?
Who's that?
[crying continues]
How is it that he already needs to poop again?
Four months old and he's already shitting like a man.
- Yeah. - That's my boy.
- [Joan] Oh, honey. - [Larry] What's that?
[Joan] You stink.
- [laughing] - Janet, Connor. Connor, Janet.
- They died doing a… What-- - Gender reveal party.
- Yeah. Gender reveal party. - Yeah. There was so much blood.
Everywhere. Just oozing.
We didn't see it coming. We'd al… We looked in.
We were like, "Oh, what's going on in here?"
Boom! Blew our heads right off.
- I love it when you do that. - Whoa.
Thank you, Fenwick.
[sighs]
Are you sure you don't wanna come? The powder's fresh, J-Bae.
Oh, I got plenty of powder yesterday.
- Powdered out. So… - You sure?
- Uh-huh. Have fun. - Okay. Give me a kiss.
- Okay. - I love you.
- I love you too. Bye. - Bye.
- [giggles] - Cute.
- [Luke] You sure? - [chuckles]
You know, people die at these things? I saw it on the Internet.
- [laughs] It's a gender reveal party. - They're lethal and stupid.
[older Joan] Oh, just let 'em make a fuss.
[older Larry] I mean, I get, you know, eliminating the surprise
but it's not party-worthy.
[older Joan] You know, one of the great joys of my life
has been allowing for surprises.
Remember when you were convinced that Zach was a girl?
[older Larry] Well, everything has to be a party nowadays.
- [older Joan] You hate parties. - Everything has to be an event.
[older Joan] No, no. You hate having fun.
[older Larry] You know, kids have preschool graduations now.
You haven't achieved anything yet.
Can we just… Can we just enjoy it?
- I'll see you tomorrow. - [sighs] Look, lady.
It's not too healthy to be coming back here all the time.
It's important to move on.
Mmm.
[fire crackling]
This is perfect, huh?
Huh?
[smacks lips, stammers]
You're okay?
Yeah.
- Yeah? - Just a little cold.
- Come on. - Mmm.
I booked us on a hot air balloon later on.
And, uh, there's a new couple in… in unit nine.
I think they'd, uh… Ooh.
I think they'd make great doubles partners.
If I meet any more new people, I'm going to explode.
And then what would you complain about?
- What? - [scoffs] Come on, Joanie,
you love to complain.
That's not a thing people love.
You okay?
I made a mistake.
Did you lose your skis again?
No. I, uh… [inhales shakily]
I made a mistake coming h-here with you.
Okay.
What'd I do wrong now?
Nothing. Oh, nothing. No, you're perfect. I know you say you're not b-but you are.
You're kind and brave and smart. That's how I know.
I waited all these years for this.
This.
Why can't you just enjoy it? We're in a literal paradise.
Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner.
I think I just… I think I just
- got really caught up in everything. - Joanie, what the…
And maybe it would've worked between us in life.
You know? Maybe not.
But I-I can't pretend that my world didn't continue without you.
I am not asking you to. I have never asked it of you.
- Unlike you, I don't hide things. - Well, what's that supposed to mean?
I grit my teeth every single day so you can go to that damn tunnel.
[huffs] Joanie, we were happiest together.
Yeah. Of course we were.
It was young love. It was…
It was love without the burden of a mortgage or a job or kids.
It was, you know, the kind of love you feel before knowing loss.
It was everything, but…
Love isn't just one happy moment.
Right? It's a million.
And it's bickering in the car, and supporting someone when they need it,
and it's growing together, and looking after each other.
We can grow together now. We can look after each other now.
I mean, Luke. Honestly?
Am I living up to the memory?
You waited so long in that… that artificial place,
but here, this is real.
And… And you're living and…
I'm giving you permission. Go live without me.
Oh, you're giving me permission? Are you…
- Are you giving me permission? - Okay, I'm sorry.
- That was a little condescending. - Thank you so much, my Highness.
- I'm your humble servant. - Okay.
- Thank you so much for the permission. - I'm sorry.
This is not fair.
[inhales deeply]
It's not fair.
I know.
But…
I have to go back.
You out of your mind?
The moment you step through a red door, they'll find you.
They'll put you into the void.
I have to try.
No, you don't. You can stay here with me.
Please stay.
I'm sorry.
[swallows] I really do love you.
[Luke sighs]
[sniffles]
Okay.
[huffs]
Hands up, Fenwick. Give me the keys. You got it, Joanie. You've got it, Joanie.
Yeah. Stick 'em up, stick 'em up.
Stick 'em up, Fenny.
Are you ready to die, Fenny? You want me to cut you? I'll cut…
Oh, God.
Such a sweet boy. He's so sweet.
Unless I do some… Okay. Yeah.
[Luke] You know that won't work.
[scoffs] I mean…
it might.
[sighs]
I can't believe I'm doing this.
You're gonna need a distraction.
Luke…
I'm so sorry.
Yeah.
I know.
[sighs]
So, you remember how I used to do some local theater?
[breathing heavily]
Please don't touch the exhibits. Remember the exhibits aren't real.
[slurs] She left.
- Why? [sobbing] - Oh, buddy.
- [shouting] - [yelps] I know. I know it's tough.
I know, I know.
But… B-But trust me, it'll get better.
It's okay. It's okay. Yeah, that's right. J-Just let it out, big guy.
Let it out. Let it out. Let it all out.
Okay? It's okay. It's okay.
It's tough today, b-but there's always tomorrow.
It's tough today, there's always tomorrow, huh?
- That's right. That's right. Okay. - Okay, good.
I just needed a good cry, I think.
Yeah, I get that.
- I remember when my old lady dumped-- - Anyway, thanks.
I'm gonna pop in for, uh… [sniffles] For old time's sake.
Yeah, but y-you didn't take a ticket.
I need to stop being such a giver.
[inhales sharply] You should hurry up.
Yeah.
Goodbye, Luke.
Goodbye, Joan.
Yeah.
[baby cries]
- Honey, it was the last time, I promise. - No.
Will you please just calm down and let's discuss this?
- Don't you dare tell me to calm down! - [security] There she is!
Stop right there!
- You are not taking my child! - What do you care?
- [Joan's mom] Get in here right now! - [security] Stop her! Stop her!
[Joan's mom] I hate you!
…you would treat me like that?
- [sobbing] What if I'm pregnant? - It'll be okay, Joanie. I promise.
[man] I'm sorry, the check bounced.
[young Joan] Please.
- I love you. - [young Luke] I love you.
[whistle blowing]
- [young Joan sobbing] - [security] There's nowhere to go!
- [police] We're sorry for your loss. - [young Joan sobbing] No, no, no, no.
[whistle blowing]
[security] Come on, come on, come on! Hurry up!
Stop!
[panting, straining]
Shit.
[Joan] Jesus, Larry. I don't wanna--
I don't wanna have this conversation again. I am--
No, I am not. I am not comparing you to him!
No, I have never compared you to him! And I don't wanna have this conversation!
[Larry] It's humiliating, Joan.
- I can't do this anymore. - Don't move!
[Joan] God, well, she brought it up. What am I supposed to say?
I mean, I… I get it. She doesn't like me.
- No, no, she literally said… - You'll grow on her.
- …"I don't like him." - [Joan] You grow on people, Larry.
[Larry] Great. I'm like a fungus. I'm a mushroom.
[Joan, Larry arguing]
- [bang] - [security] Upstairs! Upstairs!
Larry.
[security] Hurry!
- Come on, get up. Grab her! Grab her! - [Joan panting]
[grunts, panting]
[grunts]
Okay. [grunting]
[panting]
[announcer] Train delay on Platform 186.
Escapee on the tracks.
Excuse me. Hi.
I-I need to know which eternity Larry Cutler went to.
Ma'am, there have been 425,000 Larry Cutlers.
Could you be more specific?
Oh.
Shoot, oh, shoot, oh, shoot.
[announcer] Red door escapee. Do not engage.
[Joan] Excuse me.
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
You know, I've been thinking a lot about it and,
you know, I-I think that maybe we should consider being poly.
[hisses] I'm not much of a multitasker, babe.
- What? - I'm a one-woman man.
Oh, real--
- Oh, my God. - Watch where you're going, lady.
[gasps] Go over there. Over there.
You guys see a woman come running this way?
- No. - She went that way.
- Thanks. Come on. Let's go. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Good luck, you guys.
[Gary] Let's go. Move.
Joan.
You're such a romantic.
We can sneak her into one of those old, disused eternities.
Not one of the racist ones. But you'll be safe there.
- Security never checks them. - Where did he go?
Who?
Where's Larry?
[gasps] Oh, my God. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it.
- Where is he? - [Anna squeals]
Oh.
It's a lot out there, huh?
Intense.
Yeah.
I know somewhere you could really unwind.
Come on, Marge. You know the rules.
I'm just trying to help a girl out.
I know what I want now.
I could show you my eternity.
It's, uh, just around the corner.
You heard the lady.
I preferred the last barman.
You look like you could use a drink.
Oh.
Yeah.
You never left.
Nah.
[inhales sharply] Sand really does get everywhere.
Yeah. Turns out that the cold is just cold.
[swallows, exhales]
[alarm blaring]
- Is that for you? - Oh, yeah.
I'm kind of a fugitive.
Where you gonna go?
I know a place.
It could be dangerous.
[gulps]
[breathes shakily]
When do we leave?
[sighs]
[chuckles]
- [Joan coughs] - [Larry coughs]
Well, looks like Oakdale.
It's perfect.
["Everybody Loves Somebody" playing]