Judge Sunil is rehearsing.
Three, two, one…
That's just not fair, Sunil.
Bollywood songs are my territory.
It's my wife's favourite song.
We've been fighting for the past two weeks.
I'm sleeping in the living room on the sofa.
And that's only a two-seater. Way too soft and fluffy.
Which is why I was thinking, if I sing her Bollywood favourite,
then I'll be able to go back to my king-size mattress.
-May I? -Sure. Go ahead.
Oh, wow. You guys are in serious preparation mode.
-Come join us, Tyagi. -Tyagi.
So, I booked a photographer for the whole day tomorrow.
And, after a group photo, we'll update our DPs.
No, no, no. I'm not interested in official announcements and all that.
Tell me something unofficial.
I heard Mr Tendulkar is hosting a karaoke night?
Your Honour, when you sing Bollywood songs,
you won't just rule, you'll overrule everyone.
I'm all ready.
You know, Tyagi, there's a thing known as dibs…
-Mm-hmm. -…and I have dibs on Bollywood songs.
Sunil, there's a thing known as a vacation bench.
Any chance you are planning a vacation?
Okay, tell me one thing.
The party's tomorrow and Mr Tendulkar hasn't decided on a venue yet?
Yes, it's written on the invite.
Invite?
When was it sent?
Two days ago.
Two days ago?
We all got it two days ago.
But… What are you trying to say?
That Mr Tendulkar didn't invite the PDJ of the court?
Come on, he didn't do it deliberately. He must have forgotten.
He knows, and everybody knows, I'm a busy man.
Tomorrow is my visit to the High Court, right?
But you especially asked for that to be postponed
so you can be free for the karaoke party tomorrow.
Topo, this is the judges' lounge.
So would you please go outside? Go outside, please.
Since you didn't get the invite, then…
may I sing that song?
Why just sing?
This is your chance to shake a leg as well.
In fact, break a leg.
Hey, Mr Type-C,
if you use a multi-plug, won't the last socket also blow up?
Hey, how many times have I told you to get in line?
And remember, once your battery is 50% charged, it's the next guy's turn, okay?
-You mean to say a maid… -House help.
Hmm.
-Will give her master-- -Employer, Vishwas.
Okay, so a house help wants to donate her kidney to her employer's mother?
-Yes. -And for free?
Absolutely free.
You know how hard it is to get approval for a donor who's unrelated?
-Hmm. -You will present our case, right?
-Of course. -Oh, good.
-Uh, I just… I had one question. -Yes.
Um…
Do I look like a fool to you?
Huh?
You think you can spin any story and expect me to believe it?
Ma'am,
blink twice if you're a victim of organ-trafficking
-and I will rescue you. -Hang on. You just look at me.
Madam, I don't think you understand.
I was trafficked a long time ago. Forty years ago, in fact.
I've been here ever since. Let me show you my identity card.
Such a horrible picture. Look at it.
-It is really bad. -Hey, never mind that.
-Huh? -Look at this.
-It's her passbook. -Here.
For the last four years we've been paying her salary.
-So she is your house help, right? -Yes.
And yet you're taking advantage of her, sir.
-Ma'am, what are you-- -What is her fault here?
That she is impoverished?
-What? -Poor.
-Uneducated? -Illiterate.
Madam, I'd like you to know I've passed my tenth grade.
Yeah, that's what I mean. Illiterate.
And secondly, I'm donating my kidney of my own free will.
-Yeah, exactly. -Of course.
I-I believe you.
Um, just like I believe, uh, unicorns really exist,
stars are really our grandparents,
and if your palm lines form a half-moon, you'll find a beautiful partner, right?
Ani, it's so true. That's how I found Varsha.
Show me yours.
-Tsk, tsk, tsk. Shit. -What nonsense is this?
Yeah, total nonsense. Sir, let's go.
Let's go to a lawyer who charges a fee.
What can you expect from a free lawyer anyway?
-Let's go. -Free lawyer?
Yes, free lawyer. Let's go.
-Look who's talking. -Ani…
And what if there's even 1% of truth in what they're saying?
Law, check this out.
The logo is printed all wrong.
We don't have a bar president, do we?
Just an acting one.
So, Law, which is the lesser of the two?
Sujata's points or Sujata's shame?
It's a trick question.
She hasn't got any shame.
F-L-O-P. She's a flop.
Foyer lawyer of Patparganj.
Mintu Sir.
-Bro. -Yeah.
-I have some good news. -What?
You know Dheeraj, right?
-Maand? -Yeah, him. Chamber number 403.
-Yeah. -He's just lost his father.
Hey, have some shame.
-You call this good news? -It's excellent news, Mintu Sir.
His father was also a lawyer.
That too retired from Patparganj.
-What are you saying? -Yes.
My first official act of condolence. And that to Dheeraj Maand's father?
-Condolence? -Kingmaker Dheeraj Maand.
He brought 450 votes for Tyagi Sir. Imagine how many he'll get for you.
But, hang on.
-Wasn't Dheeraj's father a fo-- -Fo…
Forever gone, Shambhu.
And on his death, I'm sure,
the president will arrange a condolence meeting.
Good.
-Order, my boy. -Yeah, bro?
-Here's an idea. -Yeah.
Type out a message in your horrible English,
run it through ChatGPT, and forward it to the whole of Patparganj.
Done.
The entire court will be closed in mourning for Dheeraj Maand's father.
By the order of President Lakhmir Singh Balli.
Oh, to hell with you, monkey!
What game are you playing?
The fun starts now.
"I invite my esteemed colleagues
to a judgement-free karaoke party."
This message went out to everyone.
You must feel really bad, right?
It's these little things one lives for after all.
I am not feeling bad.
It's natural to feel bad, Your Honour.
The other readers don't invite me to their parties.
But I force them to invite me. Hmm.
Topo,
I don't know whether they consider me their colleague or not,
but I am definitely their boss.
And I should keep my distance.
It's a good thing they didn't invite me to the party.
Invite?
Condolence.
Mr Tyagi…
This is unacceptable.
Tomorrow is Mr Tendulkar's last day,
and the bar president has ordered that all work be suspended?
Mr Ghosh, I only just found out about this.
And what are you going to do about it?
Even the Supreme Court has declared this tradition as contemptuous.
What kind of tradition is this?
Does a hospital shut down when a doctor dies?
Or a school for a teacher?
Everyone gets just one minute of silence after their death.
And even then, people start coughing.
So why do the lawyers want a whole day off?
And not just for deaths, even for birth anniversaries.
Mahatma Gandhi, Dr Ambedkar,
Sardar Patel, Nehru.
All of them were lawyers.
Name one judge who is honoured the same way.
I have given 30 years of my life to this job.
And now, on my last day, I have to preside over an empty courtroom?
Who's going to clap for me?
I'm not even going to take a group picture.
Is this how we send off our esteemed colleague?
Not at all.
Not at all, Mr Ghosh.
After all, a man lives for these little moments.
Mr Tendulkar, I assure you, as Principal District Judge of this court…
no condolence leave tomorrow.
Okay?
I promise.
President Balli is his friend. Let's see what he does.
What I'm saying is, you know, it's your kidney.
It's not some festive treat you're distributing for free.
So what you're suggesting is that I should take money from his mother?
Huh? Me?
That would be a terrible sin.
-They've done their homework, Vishwas. -Mmm.
Unrelated donors can only donate a kidney
if they have an emotional attachment going.
That's why this whole "that would be a sin" thing.
-But she really is like my mother. -Really?
Okay. Prove it.
Listen, madam, I'm not like just any other maid.
House help.
Yeah, same thing. I'm not any ordinary house help, okay?
They even discuss their finances in front of me.
In the open.
Not like other folks who whisper it quietly in the bedroom.
7218.
-That's sir's ATM PIN. -Really?
Mm-hmm.
-Correct. -Hmm.
And, ma'am, we only give her one-day-old leftovers.
-Yes. -And not in a packet, but our own cutlery.
And that's not all.
All of my girlfriends hold it until they reach home.
But not me.
I get to use their own private toilet. Mm-hmm.
-Really? -Really.
-Just for number one or even number two? -Yeah, both.
Now you tell me, madam,
could there be any stronger attachment than this?
One second.
You're donating a kidney because they let you use their toilet?
-Who does that in this day and age? -Yeah.
You want the law to accept this as proof of emotional attachment?
Do you guys have an emotional attachment?
-Um… Uh… -Yeah.
Prove it.
And I'm damn sure the two of you don't share a toilet.
What, you do?
No, because I'm a man and she's a lady, so our toilets are separate.
Ma'am, not a single relative was willing to give my mother a kidney.
If attachment was only limited to one's family,
there would have been no Mahabharata.
His mother goes to the hospital for dialysis every week.
She hides it very well, but she cries every time.
I can't bear to see her in so much pain.
All right, I will present your case
to the Authorisation Committee.
Wow, Order. What a great message.
I mean with ChatGPT, who needs a junior clerk?
Look, just asking.
Sir, will ChatGPT go and get you snacks when you want?
Will it fix you a drink at night?
Will it carry this bouquet?
As it is so heavy, my butt is killing me.
-Condolence. -Condolence.
Hmm.
So now it's a matter of equality and respect.
Yeah.
Dheeraj Sir…
Dheeraj Sir?
Mintu, are the elections coming up soon?
Because a person behaves like this only when he wants to win votes.
Hmm?
Tell me one thing,
did you think about your fellow lawyers in the chamber
when you declared a day of condolence for a foyer lawyer?
But I… I called it for Dheeraj Sir's late father.
Who was a foyer lawyer.
Foyer lawyer?
Oh, damn.
The chamber closes for one day to mourn a chamber lawyer.
And now the foyer lawyers will get the same treatment?
If they didn't have the same respect while alive,
why so after death?
Today you give the foyer lawyers the respect they've been seeking.
Tomorrow they'll demand the fees they deserve.
The day after, they'll demand the presidency.
-Then? -He's right about that.
My late father struggled all through his life so I could reach the chamber,
and now the foyer lawyers will get the same rights?
So you mean you are okay if your late father
is not honoured with a day of condolence?
Of course not.
Like every foyer lawyer, let him too remain forgotten.
What times we live in?
You have to cancel your first act of condolence.
It's so humiliating.
You bloody idiot.
Couldn't you have told me beforehand the deceased is a foyer lawyer?
That's actually a good thing, sir.
They're just foyer guys. They'll curse us and forget about it.
And anyway, work stops on a day of mourning.
When have they ever worked?
Ifs and buts are not what he's into!
President Mintu! President Mintu!
Ifs and buts are not what he's into!
President Mintu! President Mintu!
Ifs and buts are not what he's into!
President Mintu! President Mintu!
Ifs and buts are not what he's into!
President Mintu! President Mintu!
Oh, Mr Shukla.
Forgive us, Mintu. We have said such horrible things.
-No, Mr Shukla. It's okay. -A chamber's flunkey, Tyagi's lackey.
Pimp of pimps.
-Cheema, I forgive you. -No, no. It's okay, sir. Go ahead.
World's biggest loser.
-Product of nepotism. -Look, I've forgiven you--
-The greatest ass-licker. -The biggest bullshitter.
Listen, I said I forgive you, okay?
I did call you an ass-licker once.
I forgive you, guys.
Listen, people wine and dine us, but forget us after the elections.
Now you as acting president,
just as acting president, gave us so much respect.
You declared a day off for a foyer lawyer?
Why do you keep saying "acting" all the time?
It's "president". President Mintu.
-Ifs and buts are not what he's into! -He is, he is. He is into.
And now, he'd like to say something to you.
Sir, go ahead.
Um…
Ifs and buts are not what I'm into?
President Mintu! President Mintu!
Ifs and buts are not what he's into.
President Mintu! President Mintu!
I understand, ma'am.
Your application is so well done,
that even a fake case would get through.
Absolutely not, sir.
-Bimla is like family to them. -Yes.
Deep emotional attachment.
Madam, just look behind you.
You take a look too.
Every person in here is like family to someone or the other.
So, sister, if you are taking money, that's perfectly fine.
Your body, your choice.
Just charge a good rate, that's all.
What?
Madam, nowadays people are selling their kidneys
for the price of a smartphone,
when the going rate is that of a hatchback.
Sir, you've got it completely wrong.
But never mind that. Just tell us what the next steps are.
Be here tomorrow at 10:00 a.m.
The committee will hear you out and make a decision.
Ms Sagarika.
Oh, wow.
She knows a member of the committee.
Congratulations.
You are about to have a kidney.
Thank you.
Um, so you know Ms Sagarika?
Very well actually. In fact, I'll go and get an appointment.
-She'll guide us best. -Great.
One minute.
A hatchback costs 800,000, all inclusive.
No, no. You're mistaken.
The base model starts from 500,000.
Yes, but you're not even giving me that much.
Bimla, you know how it is. Mum's surgery's already costing so much.
-Where will I get the money? -So?
You think getting a house is cheap?
Of course, I'm attached to your mother,
but I'm also attached to my own children, right?
I'm going to make sure they have a roof over their heads.
-This is wrong of you. We agreed 400,000. -Wrong of me?
-He just said it's 800,000. -So you're just going to double it?
I knew it.
What?
I heard everything.
"I can't take money from his mother."
-"That would be a sin." -What is she saying?
Not from his mother. I'm taking it from her son.
-What is she saying? -Look, she heard everything, okay?
-Mark my words. -Yes.
I'm going to make sure your application's rejected.
But why?
I just told you, she heard everything. Enough of this nonsense.
Can someone explain to me what just happened here?
-Madam. -Bro, what just happened?
Her baby happened.
Shit.
Mr President,
is Mr Tendulkar's last day tomorrow.
He's given 30 years to this court.
And, Your Honour, Mr Maand has given 40 years.
Are you saying a lawyer deserves less respect than a judge?
Mr President, this condolence day cannot be held.
I have given my word to the judges.
And, Your Honour, I to the lawyers.
And no matter what you say, I will not go back on my word.
Aren't we brothers?
Come on, Tyagi. This is cheating, man.
Say whatever you want. Slap and abuse me if you want.
But don't do this, man.
Mintu.
It's Tendulkar's retirement party tomorrow, karaoke.
-Karaoke! -What are you so happy about?
He hasn't invited me.
You mean he didn't even do it half-heartedly so you could refuse?
No. These guys don't even consider me a colleague.
You tell me, am I not a judge?
Of course you are, bro.
Full-fledged, totally.
It's very upsetting, but I'm pretending I'm okay.
Of course it hurts. I'm only human. Huh?
I too got carried away.
They were shouting my name throughout the foyer, man.
My name.
-Your name? -Yeah, bro.
For the first time I felt like I was really the president.
One lives for the little things in life, isn't it?
Mintu, do whatever you feel like is best for you. Go.
-All right. -I'll stand by you.
But whatever you do, make sure you think about it first.
Just remember, I am with you.
That's exactly what the problem is.
There are 2,000 lawyers in the foyer.
If we do this for every single lawyer, the court will be closed all year.
And if the chamber guys withdraw their support,
how will you stay president?
Without the support of these elites, you can't even form an opposition.
Don't forget that.
What?
Hey, Tyagi, you may have made me president,
but you never taught me how to be a president.
Hey, when you got stuck, what would you do?
-Me? -Yeah.
I would always listen.
Hmm.
Podcasts.
JAGDISH GUPTA BA LLB.
You didn't just give the foyer lawyers a day of condolence.
You made them all feel like they exist.
That their existence matters.
Now, you can't take all that back from them…
without giving something in return.
But Mr Munshi, what can I give the foyer lawyers?
I don't have the slightest idea what they want.
As the president of the bar,
you have to have your finger on the pulse of the lawyers.
By the way, there is someone
who can help you with this problem.
No, no, no, no. No, Mr Munshi.
Mr Munshi.
Ms Sagarika?
Hi, Ani.
How may I not help you?
You? Pro bono cases? Why are you doing this?
Without them, how will I get an award?
Since when are you interested in awards?
Since the time you were.
Hating you is a passion of mine.
Ms Sagarika is in Ahmedabad for a High Court appearance.
She won't appreciate being disturbed, will she?
And in her absence, Ani, I am her proxy.
So then, at Bimla's panel tomorrow, you'll represent her?
Ani,
you should never have removed that wisdom tooth of yours.
You've become so slow, you know?
-Buck up. -Ananya.
I heard you had something urgent to discuss with me.
Yes. Uh…
Okay, let's talk. Come with me.
Ahmedabad.
-I had to try. -You're unbelievable.
-Better than you. -Oh, shush.
-So, Mintu… -Yes?
You need my help now?
Yes, I do.
-But I'm a flop, right? -But what is a flop?
You tell me what is a flop.
Fantastic Lawyer of Patparganj.
Should we do it, Law? Kiss and make up?
Mintu Sir eats raw onions in his salad every day.
Hey, Law. See that four-point lead?
If Mintu Sir wins, I'll make you my intern
and feed you raw onions for lunch every day.
You don't need to worry. You'll get whatever you need.
Thank you so much.
But it will cost you.
Five points.
-No. Don't do it. Don't agree. -You can't be serious.
This is very wrong. We worked to get that lead.
No, sir. No.
How about two points?
A great poet once said,
"When your ass is burnt, don't bargain over the price of ointment."
-Sir, she's gonna be-- -Okay.
Five points.
SUJATA - 7 MINTU - 6
Sujata, now will you please tell me, what do the foyer lawyers want?
Power.
CHOLE RICE RAJMA RICE, KADHI RICE
If you testify about the monetary transaction before the committee,
the application will be rejected.
Thank God, ma'am.
I was feeling terribly guilty about abetting a crime.
Ma'am, I think she should let the transplant happen.
Why am I not surprised?
Nayana is right.
Ma'am?
Ani, whatever Bimla is doing is of her own free will.
Okay, tell me this. You really believe that she is being exploited?
Uh, I mean, not directly.
But her circumstances are being exploited, right?
That's why it's a crime, ma'am.
If we stop the application, the mother will not receive a kidney.
And she will lose her life.
Every year
two million people are in need of a transplant.
But how many people get it?
Only 10,000.
Isn't that a crime?
But, ma'am, with this logic,
everyone will trade organs illegally, right?
Ani, even today more than 90% of transplants
take place through illegal routes.
And in your case at least
whatever she's doing, she's doing of her own free will.
Ma'am, how is that justice?
Justice doesn't exist.
It's the absence of injustice.
And that's why, sometimes, the lesser injustice is justice.
I won't be at the committee hearing tomorrow.
And Ms Sagarika has made it clear that your application…
will be approved.
But…
-Ma'am, I'll do whatever you say. Please. -Yes.
Postoperative care, healthcare expenses,
life insurance and six months of paid leave…
You must provide Bimla with all these things in a timely manner.
And hatchback… At the rate of a hatchback.
Base model, please.
-All right. Done. -Perfect.
Ma'am.
Thank you.
My mother's life will be saved because of you.
And now I'll have a house for my kids.
Thank you.
Brothers and sisters,
tomorrow the court won't be shut.
What?
The court won't be shut? What is he saying?
Relax, relax.
Listen. This is my request to all of you…
to please follow this directive from the Bar Association.
Hey, Tyagi's bootlicker!
-Biggest ass-kisser! -Biggest bullshitter! Bullshitter!
Calm down, please! Miss Sujata's speaking.
My friends!
Your anger is completely justified.
But think about it.
Not a single lawyer from the foyer
has ever received any condolence after their passing.
And now should we just mourn for a day and forget the one who's passed away?
Hmm?
Not at all.
And so, bearing in mind this issue,
I, the Bar Association President,
would like to give something to my brothers in the foyer
that will be remembered for generations to come.
Power!
Presenting the "Late Mr Maand Charging Point"!
Move, move. Hey.
-A charging point! -Amazing!
Ifs and buts are not what he's into!
President Mintu, President Mintu!
Ifs and buts are not what's he's into!
President Mintu, President Mintu!
Charging!
Ani! Ani.
I'm back in the lead.
I used a strategy. Price.
Same here, Sujata.
Same here.
Mr Tendulkar, now you can get your group photo taken.
-No condolence tomorrow. -I-I was just reading the message.
Thank you very much. You're a man of your word, Tyagi.
A man of your word.
Thank you.
Good day.
Just a minute, Tyagi.
I made a little mistake.
There is another Tyagi in my contact list.
So, unfortunately,
the retirement party invitation was sent to him by mistake.
Oh, really?
Uh… Which party?
Uh, karaoke.
Regal Friends Club.
If you are not too busy,
I would love to celebrate the night with all my esteemed colleagues.
Oh, sure. Why not?
Uh, let me check my calendar.
I'll get back to you.
Sure, please.
Mr Sunil, would you like me to send a three-seater sofa to your house?
Because I will be singing my Bollywood favourite. sofa to your house?