WEBVTT 00:07.382 --> 00:09.926 Hi, everybody. Are you ready to do this? 00:10.010 --> 00:11.761 Okay. 00:12.595 --> 00:18.852 Ladies, gentlemen, and everybody, please give it up for Sheng Wang! 00:39.664 --> 00:42.417 What's up, DC? 00:46.296 --> 00:47.797 Oh, boy. 00:49.382 --> 00:51.634 Thank you. Thank you so much for coming out. 00:51.718 --> 00:55.388 Thank you so much for having me, man. I hope you're doing well. 00:55.472 --> 00:57.056 Uh, I'm feeling pretty good. 00:57.140 --> 00:59.476 I've been trying to eat more berries. 01:00.602 --> 01:03.980 I'm real passionate about those antioxidants. 01:04.522 --> 01:05.398 It's weird. 01:05.482 --> 01:07.525 I don't even know what oxidants are. 01:07.609 --> 01:10.236 I just know that I'm against them. 01:12.614 --> 01:15.325 It seems like whenever you eat something that's yummy, 01:15.408 --> 01:18.369 there's some oxidants trying to bring you down. 01:19.454 --> 01:23.249 Right? So after I eat like a steak and some martinis, 01:23.333 --> 01:25.085 I call on my berries. 01:26.127 --> 01:27.670 I send in the antioxidants. 01:27.754 --> 01:31.341 I'm like, "Hey, man, go handle that." 01:32.967 --> 01:35.053 "Make it look like an accident." 01:36.846 --> 01:39.390 Sometimes I eat the berries before the dinner. 01:39.474 --> 01:41.643 I lay a trap. 01:43.311 --> 01:47.649 They don't know what's coming. They think they about to go oxidize. 01:50.318 --> 01:54.781 I like berries for sure, but you know who really love eating berries the most? 01:54.864 --> 01:57.325 Your friends' kids. 01:58.910 --> 02:01.329 Uh-oh, when your friends' kids come over, 02:01.412 --> 02:04.374 hide the berries under the broccoli, quick. 02:05.500 --> 02:07.252 That's a hard lesson to learn, man. 02:07.335 --> 02:10.421 My friend came over with her kid. I'm a good host. 02:10.505 --> 02:13.842 I bust out snacks, refreshments, the berries. 02:13.925 --> 02:15.552 I'm happy they're happy. 02:15.635 --> 02:19.931 And then I realize, "Oh, this girl don't know how much they cost at all." 02:21.057 --> 02:23.351 She eating them crazy. 02:24.352 --> 02:26.271 By the fistful. 02:27.063 --> 02:29.941 I never seen berries be held like that. 02:31.276 --> 02:32.735 That's not how you eat berries. 02:32.819 --> 02:36.364 That's how you display a sacrificial human heart. 02:40.952 --> 02:43.204 I don't say anything 'cause it's good for them. 02:43.288 --> 02:46.541 But in my mind, I'm like, "That's not reasonable." 02:48.585 --> 02:51.671 I'm trying to be cool, I'm trying. But I'm bothered, you know? 02:51.754 --> 02:55.967 I'm so bothered, I can't follow the conversation with the grown-ups. 02:57.177 --> 03:02.015 I don't know what we talking about. I'm too busy assessing my losses. 03:03.850 --> 03:07.353 "Nobody see what's going on right now? We getting robbed." 03:10.398 --> 03:14.360 I don't know what to do. I-- I try to show her how to eat a berry. 03:14.444 --> 03:16.362 I try to model behavior. 03:16.446 --> 03:20.617 I'm like, "Hey, uh, take one." 03:21.659 --> 03:24.037 "Look at it. Appreciate the color, the texture." 03:24.120 --> 03:26.331 "Be present with the berry." 03:27.373 --> 03:29.042 "Chew it slowly, savor it." 03:29.125 --> 03:33.338 "After you eat a whole cup, that's enough for today. All done." 03:38.384 --> 03:40.553 She don't know how to take a hint. 03:40.637 --> 03:44.432 I get so frustrated, I start to eat the berries as fast as I can. 03:47.143 --> 03:49.771 Hide them in my esophagus. 03:52.565 --> 03:54.609 It's something you have to accept, right? 03:54.692 --> 04:00.406 When there's kids on the scene, the hang will be less predictable. 04:00.990 --> 04:01.824 Things happen. 04:01.908 --> 04:04.202 The other day, I'm at my friend's house. 04:04.285 --> 04:07.413 It's a bunch of bros having beers around the firepit in the backyard. 04:07.497 --> 04:09.082 It's a fun, silly time. 04:09.165 --> 04:11.668 Suddenly, my friend's kid came out. 04:11.751 --> 04:13.378 Pop-quizzed him. 04:14.087 --> 04:18.007 That's when, out of nowhere, no context, your kid just run up on you, 04:18.091 --> 04:22.345 and they hit you with a question about science in front of everybody. 04:24.013 --> 04:25.974 Now it's quiet. 04:27.308 --> 04:32.397 Now my friend is struggling to explain how the moon works. 04:34.190 --> 04:36.859 I'm nervous for him. 04:36.943 --> 04:39.320 I know he know we listening too. 04:41.197 --> 04:43.616 We would like to know as well. 04:44.951 --> 04:48.705 "That's a good question. Hey, why is it like that?" 04:50.748 --> 04:55.003 We don't know the answer, but we actively judging his response. 04:57.463 --> 05:00.008 You know, 'cause when your friend explains stuff to the kids, 05:00.091 --> 05:02.010 sometimes they have to dumb it down. 05:02.093 --> 05:06.639 But then sometimes you realize, "Oh, no, my friend is dumb." 05:11.102 --> 05:14.564 Kids can clarify your situation, you know? 05:14.647 --> 05:17.108 Like the other day, I took my niece to the playground. 05:17.191 --> 05:20.611 It's all good and fun until she started to struggle on the monkey bars. 05:20.695 --> 05:23.740 So I was like, "Well, let me show you how we do that." 05:23.823 --> 05:27.744 I found out I have lost my monkey bar powers. 05:29.120 --> 05:33.082 I didn't know that was a skill we could lose this early. 05:34.083 --> 05:38.087 It's over. It breaks my heart to know that at one point in my life, 05:38.171 --> 05:41.758 I did monkey bars for the very last time, 05:43.009 --> 05:45.928 but nobody took a picture or nothing. 05:47.847 --> 05:49.849 I thought I had it. I was confident. 05:49.932 --> 05:51.809 'Cause I could do a few pull-ups, you know? 05:51.893 --> 05:58.191 But monkey bars is all your body weight on one hand, and you swinging. 05:59.108 --> 06:02.111 So you pulling Gs. 06:03.279 --> 06:05.823 I forgot about the g-force. 06:05.907 --> 06:09.035 I'm on the first bar, I initiated forward motion, 06:09.118 --> 06:11.662 and as the Gs started to increase, 06:11.746 --> 06:14.165 I felt a pain right here. 06:15.792 --> 06:17.627 My rotator cuff 06:18.753 --> 06:21.464 was like, "You better let go, boy." 06:22.423 --> 06:26.052 "Ooh, I'm about to rip off your torso." 06:29.347 --> 06:31.516 I was hurt emotionally too. 06:32.141 --> 06:34.727 You know, 'cause I wanted to show her a joyful skill 06:34.811 --> 06:37.939 that she could develop with practice and experience. 06:38.022 --> 06:42.110 Instead, I showed her how quickly the body can decay and betray you. 06:44.779 --> 06:47.407 It was also upsetting 'cause I've seen videos 06:47.490 --> 06:50.827 of terrorists training on monkey bars. 06:50.910 --> 06:52.912 I always thought that was so silly, 06:52.995 --> 06:55.915 but now I'm like, "Dang, they're pretty athletic." 06:57.083 --> 06:59.085 "They might be a problem." 07:04.757 --> 07:08.886 I feel very grateful I get to perform in beautiful theaters like this. 07:09.637 --> 07:12.223 It's so nice. This is so nice. 07:14.725 --> 07:16.644 It's not always like this. 07:16.727 --> 07:19.856 Uh, one of the last shows I did in LA 07:19.939 --> 07:23.109 was inside an adult novelty store. 07:23.609 --> 07:27.113 I like doing that show 'cause they have free parking. 07:28.030 --> 07:29.949 Yeah, that's my kink. 07:31.826 --> 07:34.537 I did my set. Afterwards, I did a little browsing, 07:34.620 --> 07:38.499 and I came across an edible bra made out of hard candy. 07:38.583 --> 07:40.042 I was intrigued, but I was like, 07:40.126 --> 07:44.088 "That's for young folks. I don't eat candy like that anymore." 07:45.047 --> 07:46.966 I'm down to have fun. We can play. 07:47.049 --> 07:51.262 I'll take a nibble, but let's save the rest for later, you know? 07:51.345 --> 07:55.474 Come on, don't expect me to eat a whole bra. 07:56.726 --> 08:00.771 I'm not going to eat all that candy, girl. I'mma get a headache. 08:02.231 --> 08:05.359 You better have some underwear made out of Tylenol. 08:07.987 --> 08:11.532 You got something more suitable for a grown-up palate? 08:12.450 --> 08:14.869 I mean, how about instead of a whole bra of candy, 08:14.952 --> 08:18.539 how about we just go with a couple of dark chocolate pasties? 08:19.624 --> 08:23.461 Bittersweet, at least 75% cacao. 08:25.588 --> 08:29.467 We can take it up to 85%. I'm not scared. 08:32.053 --> 08:34.430 I picked up the box for the bra. 08:34.514 --> 08:37.600 I flipped it over to read the nutritional data. 08:39.393 --> 08:41.312 How much protein this bra got? 08:45.483 --> 08:49.612 I was surprised. It said eight grams of sugar. 08:49.695 --> 08:51.906 That's not too bad. 08:51.989 --> 08:54.158 If you're gonna give yourself a sweet treat, 08:54.242 --> 08:56.786 eight grams is quite reasonable. 08:56.869 --> 09:00.414 And then I looked further. It said 26 servings. 09:02.542 --> 09:05.836 Dang! One bra, 26? 09:06.337 --> 09:09.590 Usually, it's just two of us in the room. 09:11.717 --> 09:15.471 Hey, this recipe is designed for a group setting. 09:16.222 --> 09:19.392 That's a great bra to wear to a potluck. 09:21.018 --> 09:24.564 "Let me know when y'all ready for dessert. She got them warmed up." 09:27.358 --> 09:29.986 I can't do 26 servings by myself, though. 09:30.069 --> 09:31.445 No way. 09:31.529 --> 09:34.657 No way. My A1C is elevated. 09:35.449 --> 09:37.326 Yeah, I'm already prediabetic. 09:37.410 --> 09:40.329 I can't lose a foot to see a titty. 09:42.957 --> 09:45.293 My mom would be mad. 09:46.294 --> 09:48.296 She made that foot. 09:53.301 --> 09:56.971 I actually got to see my family recently in Houston. 09:57.054 --> 10:01.142 I got to revisit the house that I grew up in. 10:01.767 --> 10:04.061 It's interesting to go back at this age 10:04.145 --> 10:08.232 'cause you notice things you could not quite see as a child. 10:08.316 --> 10:11.277 Right? Like I realize now, the house that I grew up in 10:11.360 --> 10:13.988 has depressing lighting. 10:15.323 --> 10:17.658 It's so obvious now. 10:18.326 --> 10:21.621 But as a kid, I could never figure out what was wrong. 10:22.496 --> 10:26.542 As a kid, I was always like, "But why is it sad?" 10:29.795 --> 10:32.673 I was close to having a good childhood. 10:32.757 --> 10:35.593 We just needed some lamps. 10:37.178 --> 10:38.721 That's an easy fix, 10:38.804 --> 10:44.352 but first-generation immigrants don't really prioritize vibes. 10:46.187 --> 10:50.483 They think ambiance is Jay-Z's wife. 10:54.111 --> 10:58.949 Most of the rooms have one light. Just one light, overhead in the middle. 10:59.867 --> 11:02.536 Perfect for an interrogation. 11:03.621 --> 11:05.748 Very dramatic shadows. 11:05.831 --> 11:09.418 You walk in there, suddenly your eye bags are plump. 11:10.920 --> 11:12.713 My parents weren't unhappy. 11:12.797 --> 11:16.759 They just always looked like they about to tell you a ghost story. 11:21.597 --> 11:23.307 My cousin had it pretty bad 11:23.391 --> 11:26.811 because my uncle installed too many, uh, fluorescent lights 11:26.894 --> 11:28.270 in their place. 11:28.771 --> 11:30.856 That might be more energy efficient, 11:30.940 --> 11:33.859 but it's not a loving thing to do. 11:35.361 --> 11:37.613 It's-- It's not cozy, it's eerie. 11:37.697 --> 11:40.741 Fluorescent light, it's mostly sound. 11:42.743 --> 11:44.203 You hear it coming. 11:44.286 --> 11:46.497 Before you even get there, you already know. 11:46.580 --> 11:49.250 "But I don't want to stay long tonight." 11:51.419 --> 11:54.755 It's got the buzz of a green-headed fly 11:54.839 --> 11:58.634 paired with the warmth of an autopsy table. 11:59.385 --> 12:02.638 Set the mood for a panic attack. 12:06.517 --> 12:09.812 I was raised in a house that had a no-shoe policy, 12:09.895 --> 12:11.981 which means that when you get home, 12:12.064 --> 12:14.942 you stop at the entryway, you remove your shoes, 12:15.025 --> 12:16.861 and then you could proceed. 12:16.944 --> 12:19.530 But I have friends that didn't live like that. 12:19.613 --> 12:21.657 And when I got to visit their place, 12:21.741 --> 12:25.578 I was excited to try something so exotic. 12:27.288 --> 12:28.497 I remember one summer, 12:28.581 --> 12:31.375 all the neighborhood kids are gathering at Mark's place 12:31.459 --> 12:35.254 'cause he just got Street Fighter II on Super Nintendo. 12:35.337 --> 12:36.547 -Whoo! -Yeah. 12:36.630 --> 12:38.716 It was a big deal at the time. 12:38.799 --> 12:42.136 But I was really looking forward to going from outside to inside, 12:42.219 --> 12:43.471 no stopping. 12:44.680 --> 12:47.057 Oh, I'm going straight through. 12:47.141 --> 12:52.271 I'm not gonna just hover around the foyer, I'mma go deep into that house. 12:52.771 --> 12:54.815 I'mma go all the way to the living room. 12:54.899 --> 12:58.402 I'mma see what carpet feels like with shoes on. 12:59.653 --> 13:03.407 Dang, I never walked through a home with so much grip. 13:05.576 --> 13:08.621 And you got the thermostat on the AC set below 80. 13:08.704 --> 13:11.332 Feel like y'all living in a hotel. 13:16.754 --> 13:19.256 The pinnacle is sometimes, when you go to the bathroom, 13:19.340 --> 13:21.592 because sometimes the bathroom is set up in such a way 13:21.675 --> 13:23.135 where you're like, "Oh, my gosh, 13:23.219 --> 13:28.140 am I expected to step on the bath mat with my shoes on?" 13:28.224 --> 13:31.101 Ooh, that feels sacrilegious to me. 13:31.185 --> 13:35.105 It's the first thing your body touches after you step out of the shower. 13:35.189 --> 13:37.316 I could never do that at home. 13:37.817 --> 13:39.693 Now I kind of want to try it. 13:40.319 --> 13:42.029 But if I'm a good friend, I won't. 13:42.112 --> 13:45.658 If I care about you like myself, I'll straddle the bath mat. 13:45.741 --> 13:47.785 I'll go in there like this. 13:51.747 --> 13:53.374 That's love. 13:54.375 --> 13:57.169 You don't always see what I do for you. 13:58.712 --> 14:00.756 Love is not boastful. 14:06.387 --> 14:09.473 I try to maintain a no-shoe policy at my place, 14:09.557 --> 14:11.892 but it's not 100%. 14:11.976 --> 14:13.352 Sometimes you have to bend. 14:13.435 --> 14:15.896 Every now and then you'll be in a rush, you got your shoes on, 14:15.980 --> 14:19.984 you already stepped outside, then you realize you forgot your wallet. 14:20.067 --> 14:23.279 But you don't have time to do the whole thing again. 14:24.280 --> 14:28.075 So it's about to be a special occasion. 14:29.201 --> 14:31.662 You're going in with your shoes on today. 14:31.745 --> 14:34.540 But you don't walk regularly. 14:36.083 --> 14:38.335 You go back in your place like the floor is lava. 14:38.419 --> 14:39.461 You're like… 14:49.513 --> 14:51.015 It look crazy. 14:51.515 --> 14:54.643 But it's all backed by science. 14:55.769 --> 14:57.146 You know what you're doing. 14:57.229 --> 15:02.276 You take wide steps to minimize the points of contamination. 15:03.110 --> 15:08.282 You stay on the balls of your feet to minimize the surface area. 15:08.365 --> 15:12.244 And you're moving quickly because three-second rule. 15:13.913 --> 15:15.372 These are the games you play 15:15.456 --> 15:20.127 when you an anxious person pretending you have control in your life. 15:25.883 --> 15:29.136 So many things in the world that are out of our control, you know? 15:29.219 --> 15:32.181 Like, every now and then when I'm on tour, I'll be at a hotel, 15:32.264 --> 15:36.435 I'll catch a mattress at the tail end of their lifespan. 15:37.019 --> 15:37.895 It happens. 15:37.978 --> 15:40.481 Usually it's a little droopy. 15:40.981 --> 15:45.361 The other day I had an old mattress that was memory foam, and it looked fine. 15:45.444 --> 15:49.657 You couldn't see anything wrong, but when you lay down, you felt something. 15:50.491 --> 15:53.661 It was the memory of somebody else. 15:55.204 --> 15:58.248 It was a vivid recollection. 15:59.708 --> 16:05.130 There was a unique emptiness created by a body that's not present, 16:05.214 --> 16:09.802 but clearly defined by the boundaries of their absence. 16:10.969 --> 16:15.307 And I'm all up in the contours of a larger man. 16:16.850 --> 16:18.352 We had different shapes. 16:18.435 --> 16:20.938 I'm not the key to that lock. 16:21.981 --> 16:25.734 I had edges where he had curves. 16:26.235 --> 16:30.114 It felt like I was laying on a tiny skate park. 16:36.578 --> 16:38.997 I don't know if y'all could tell by my aura, 16:39.081 --> 16:41.959 but I've been cooking with shallots. 16:44.962 --> 16:46.255 You see it. 16:48.382 --> 16:50.092 There's a glow. 16:51.051 --> 16:52.803 They're nice. Shallots are nice, man. 16:52.886 --> 16:55.764 I only recently discovered them. I was like, "What's up, onion?" 16:55.848 --> 16:58.642 "You didn't tell me you had a fine-ass cousin." 16:59.810 --> 17:02.521 "Dang, where's she from? She smell different." 17:03.897 --> 17:05.482 They're similar, 17:05.566 --> 17:07.776 but you don't treat them the same. 17:08.318 --> 17:09.778 Onions, you take for granted. 17:09.862 --> 17:13.866 You buy them by the sack, then you throw them in the dark for later. 17:14.908 --> 17:17.286 But when you bring home one shallot, 17:17.369 --> 17:18.871 oh, you got plans made. 17:20.247 --> 17:23.917 You about to follow a recipe tonight. 17:24.710 --> 17:28.005 You going all out. You gonna bust out the mandolin slicing, 17:28.088 --> 17:32.509 slip on that one Michael Jackson glove so you don't shave off your fingerprints. 17:37.556 --> 17:40.267 I've been exploring all kinds of aromatics, man. 17:40.350 --> 17:42.853 I just went through a big leek phase. 17:43.437 --> 17:48.650 Love leeks, but I'm regretful because I avoided them for a long time. 17:48.734 --> 17:52.446 'Cause when you see your first leek, it's intimidating. 17:53.030 --> 17:56.533 I was like, "Dang, that's a buff-ass green onion." 17:58.577 --> 18:00.162 "What's that about?" 18:00.704 --> 18:04.708 I'm trying to eat organic. That thing can't pass no drug test. 18:05.209 --> 18:07.753 It's too thick. 18:08.253 --> 18:11.006 Why'd they let it get like that? 18:11.090 --> 18:12.508 They forgot about it. 18:12.591 --> 18:15.677 They should've harvested it like three years ago. 18:16.720 --> 18:18.430 At this point, leave it alone. 18:18.514 --> 18:21.183 It's about to be a tree. 18:26.146 --> 18:29.108 I love cooking. I love cooking. I love the whole process. 18:29.191 --> 18:32.194 I love the power of herbs and spices. 18:32.277 --> 18:34.446 It's truly magical to me, you know? 18:34.530 --> 18:37.741 One of my go-to spices is cumin. 18:37.825 --> 18:40.119 It's a good one. It's a good one. 18:40.202 --> 18:44.456 So many different cultures use the same spice all around the world. 18:44.540 --> 18:47.459 It's got this deep, savory profile, 18:47.543 --> 18:50.963 a little bit of funk, just a hint of BO. 18:52.214 --> 18:54.591 It's a festive spice, very festive. 18:54.675 --> 18:56.510 Every time I smell that cumin, I'm like, 18:56.593 --> 18:59.429 "Oh, smell like somebody else in this kitchen right now." 19:01.515 --> 19:03.517 "Hello?" 19:05.894 --> 19:09.314 "Smells like someone just finished some light yard work." 19:10.315 --> 19:12.943 "Thank you, let me get you some water." 19:14.236 --> 19:17.114 "Come on in here with that sexy musk." 19:22.786 --> 19:26.165 Sometimes after, like, a long streak of eating out, 19:26.248 --> 19:31.712 I try to redeem myself by making a healthy smoothie at home. 19:31.795 --> 19:33.547 But I always overdo it, 19:33.630 --> 19:38.427 'cause I try to cram in everything I wish I would've ate earlier that week. 19:39.094 --> 19:42.389 It'd be like so many salads, all types of fruit, 19:42.472 --> 19:46.268 walnuts, mushroom powder, flaxseeds, turmeric, black pepper. 19:46.351 --> 19:49.813 My smoothie come out dark gray. 19:51.690 --> 19:53.734 It's viscous. 19:54.526 --> 19:57.487 It look like wet concrete. 19:58.614 --> 20:00.198 It sucks, 20:00.282 --> 20:03.577 but it will not move through a straw. 20:04.578 --> 20:07.915 You gotta drink my smoothie with a knife and fork. 20:10.000 --> 20:11.168 It's too thick. 20:11.251 --> 20:14.504 You're supposed to add liquid to get the right consistency. 20:14.588 --> 20:18.592 Well, great. Now I got two gallons of smoothie. 20:19.593 --> 20:21.220 I gotta get my girl involved. 20:21.303 --> 20:25.724 I'm like, "Babe, I made you a snack too. I'm sorry." 20:29.019 --> 20:32.272 I have no formal culinary training. 20:32.356 --> 20:35.359 A lot of just learning on the job, improvising in the moment. 20:35.442 --> 20:37.110 I never make the same meal twice 20:37.194 --> 20:40.197 'cause I don't know how it happened that first time. 20:41.490 --> 20:42.991 And if my girl likes the food, 20:43.075 --> 20:46.370 I'm like, "Enjoy it, 'cause that's never coming back." 20:47.621 --> 20:49.915 "We got blessed tonight." 20:52.960 --> 20:55.712 I do most of the cooking, but every now and then, my girl, 20:55.796 --> 20:59.800 she'll buy a special kitchen tool that we don't really use, 20:59.883 --> 21:03.011 but it will take up some storage space. 21:04.388 --> 21:08.100 She came home with a real chunky garlic press. 21:08.183 --> 21:10.769 Created a lot of traffic jams in the kitchen drawer. 21:10.852 --> 21:13.313 You know how when you go to open the drawer, 21:13.397 --> 21:16.233 your other hand gotta go in and calm everybody down? 21:16.316 --> 21:17.317 Like, "Hey…" 21:22.489 --> 21:24.783 "Relax." 21:24.866 --> 21:28.287 "Hey, chill, chill. Lay down. It's just me, lay down." 21:29.496 --> 21:31.790 "Why you so rowdy?" 21:32.332 --> 21:36.211 "You got everybody all worked up in there. You got the tongs in a tizzy." 21:38.213 --> 21:39.881 And your knuckle get all scraped up, 21:39.965 --> 21:42.509 'cause they don't paint the wood on that side. 21:49.433 --> 21:52.394 One time, my girl came home with a spiralizer 21:52.477 --> 21:56.565 to make zucchini noodles that nobody's excited about. 21:58.775 --> 22:00.277 It's sad, you know? 22:00.360 --> 22:03.822 Because when you first see it work, you're excited. 22:03.905 --> 22:07.284 You're like, "Ooh, that do look like a noodle." 22:08.410 --> 22:09.995 It do! 22:10.078 --> 22:12.080 And in your heart, you want to believe. 22:12.164 --> 22:14.291 You're like, "Maybe." 22:15.292 --> 22:17.419 "Maybe it is a noodle." 22:18.295 --> 22:22.632 But when you sit down to eat, you know that's a vegetable string. 22:23.550 --> 22:25.302 Wake up, fool. 22:26.678 --> 22:31.266 I can't watch a sci-fi thriller and eat zoodles. 22:31.933 --> 22:35.812 'Cause I can only suspend so much disbelief. 22:37.147 --> 22:40.359 I could believe that evil robots from the future 22:40.442 --> 22:42.611 time-travel here to destroy us, 22:42.694 --> 22:45.322 or I could pretend that's spaghetti. 22:50.952 --> 22:54.748 One time, my girl came home with this interesting Japanese onion slicer. 22:54.831 --> 22:58.001 It's got this one handle, on top of which there's like eight blades. 22:58.085 --> 22:59.753 One stroke, eight cuts. 22:59.836 --> 23:01.838 I never used it. 23:01.922 --> 23:03.757 About a year ago, I'm cleaning out. 23:03.840 --> 23:05.717 I pulled it up. I forgot what it was. 23:05.801 --> 23:07.260 There was a cap on top. 23:07.344 --> 23:08.470 I misplaced my hand. 23:08.553 --> 23:12.808 When I opened it, I ran my finger over all eight blades. 23:13.475 --> 23:17.521 And then I threw it away! 23:19.731 --> 23:22.818 That's the only time we ever used it. 23:24.069 --> 23:26.822 It sat brand-new in the drawer for years, 23:26.905 --> 23:28.782 just waiting to strike. 23:29.991 --> 23:31.868 And it got me good. I was impressed. 23:31.952 --> 23:35.622 It was the most evenly spaced injury I have ever suffered. 23:36.790 --> 23:39.793 The doctor said my cuts were restaurant quality. 23:45.757 --> 23:49.261 Currently, I'm back on the market for a new toaster oven. 23:49.344 --> 23:50.887 It's that time again. 23:51.930 --> 23:55.267 We got a basic brand. It's not bad. We've had it for ten years. 23:55.350 --> 23:59.563 It still works, but now it also works when nobody's home. 24:01.148 --> 24:02.983 It's getting too good. 24:03.817 --> 24:06.653 So we looking at some options, and I'm not for sure, 24:06.736 --> 24:10.490 but I'm at a point in my life where, like, I might be able to afford 24:10.574 --> 24:12.284 a Breville toaster. 24:12.367 --> 24:15.203 -Whoo! -Maybe, maybe, maybe. 24:15.287 --> 24:18.123 Maybe. I gotta run the numbers again. 24:20.000 --> 24:22.169 It's so expensive, but it's very pretty, 24:22.252 --> 24:24.713 and my friends really like theirs, so I'm excited. 24:24.796 --> 24:28.550 But then it did occur to me, like if it really is that great, 24:28.633 --> 24:33.346 I guess there's a chance this could be my last toaster. 24:34.264 --> 24:35.724 Dang, that's heavy. 24:36.683 --> 24:37.934 I'm not ready for all that. 24:38.018 --> 24:41.771 I'm just trying to make my dino nuggets crispy. 24:43.023 --> 24:46.610 Now you got me contemplating my mortality. 24:47.360 --> 24:52.741 Now I'm wondering to whom shall I bequeath this heirloom? 24:54.159 --> 24:59.539 Which niece or nephew got the charisma to tell my story on the Antique Roadshow? 25:08.590 --> 25:10.592 To this day, to this day, 25:10.675 --> 25:13.553 I still have some frugal habits from my childhood 25:13.637 --> 25:15.430 that I can't quite shake. 25:15.514 --> 25:19.976 Like, it's still hard for me to use a whole paper towel. 25:21.436 --> 25:22.979 I want to rip it in two. 25:23.063 --> 25:25.023 I'll give the other half to my boo. 25:26.316 --> 25:28.485 Or I'll leave it on the roll, 25:28.568 --> 25:31.613 and then I wind it back to make it look nice. 25:32.989 --> 25:35.867 If I'm at a restaurant, they hand out a wet towelette, 25:35.951 --> 25:38.370 usually I don't use it right away. 25:38.453 --> 25:41.164 I'm like, "Hey, let me put that in my pocket." 25:41.998 --> 25:44.000 "I want to save it for later." 25:44.084 --> 25:46.253 "It's too special for now." 25:46.753 --> 25:50.340 It's wet, it's individually wrapped, so it feel like a commitment. 25:50.423 --> 25:53.677 When you choose to deploy it, you got one shot. 25:54.844 --> 25:56.346 Make it count. 25:56.930 --> 25:59.724 So you just-- You just keep it on you. You ready. 25:59.808 --> 26:01.685 And you move through life. 26:01.768 --> 26:04.688 And every now and then, a situation will come up, and you be like… 26:04.771 --> 26:08.108 "Is it time?" 26:09.651 --> 26:11.319 "Nah, not yet." 26:11.861 --> 26:14.197 "Not yet. This ain't that bad. I got some napkins." 26:14.281 --> 26:17.659 "I got condensation on my ice water. I'll just go like that." 26:19.160 --> 26:22.539 "I'm good. I'm good. I can't waste a whole towelette on this." 26:25.083 --> 26:27.043 So you wait. You continue to wait. 26:27.127 --> 26:29.754 And finally one day, you find a moment that's worthy. 26:29.838 --> 26:31.798 You excited to get your satisfaction. 26:31.881 --> 26:35.468 You open the wrapper to find all the liquid is gone. 26:36.386 --> 26:38.763 Now you're trying to clean your barbecue fingers 26:38.847 --> 26:42.017 with what's basically a used dryer sheet. 26:50.900 --> 26:53.403 Technically, I'm a full-blown adult, 26:53.486 --> 26:57.907 but I feel like I got a little ways to go to become a real grown-up. 26:57.991 --> 27:01.328 I'm trying to push myself, you know, in small steps. 27:01.411 --> 27:04.581 Like sometimes, after I watch a scary movie, 27:04.664 --> 27:07.542 I'll walk into a dark room in my apartment, 27:07.626 --> 27:11.546 but I won't even turn on the lights. I just try to be brave. 27:14.132 --> 27:16.635 That means you keep your natural pace. 27:16.718 --> 27:19.846 When you get in there, don't start moving faster. 27:20.597 --> 27:22.265 That's your house. 27:23.099 --> 27:24.517 Act like it then. 27:26.895 --> 27:28.480 When you start to scurry, 27:28.563 --> 27:31.649 you let the ghosts know they got you shook. 27:33.526 --> 27:36.279 Don't give 'em the satisfaction. 27:37.530 --> 27:39.658 Be cool. I go in there, I'm cool. 27:39.741 --> 27:42.202 I try to-- I handle my business, I do what I got to do. 27:42.285 --> 27:43.370 I turn around. 27:43.453 --> 27:44.954 I start to leave. 27:46.122 --> 27:47.916 Real cool. 27:47.999 --> 27:50.919 Oh, I'm getting close. I see the hallway light. 27:51.002 --> 27:52.504 The last three steps, 27:52.587 --> 27:53.963 I run. 27:55.590 --> 27:59.678 Right up to the doorframe, and then I leap into the light. 28:00.178 --> 28:03.264 But when you're airborne, don't overextend that back leg. 28:03.348 --> 28:07.435 That's how you get grabbed, and dragged to your demise. 28:08.103 --> 28:11.856 You know better. You gotta run, leap, tuck. 28:13.316 --> 28:15.819 And then you make a cowardly sound like, 28:15.902 --> 28:17.696 "Ā yā!" 28:22.951 --> 28:24.661 If you don't know, "ā yā," 28:24.744 --> 28:28.081 that's Taiwanese for "yikes." 28:36.172 --> 28:39.050 Sometimes I try to be brave when I take a shower. 28:39.134 --> 28:41.553 Like, I don't wait for the water to get warm. 28:41.636 --> 28:42.762 I don't even test it. 28:42.846 --> 28:46.933 I just walk right up in there like a warrior. 28:49.227 --> 28:52.063 Ooh, it's hard. It's hard. 28:52.147 --> 28:55.567 If you wanna be real crazy, don't even turn on the water. 28:56.735 --> 28:58.403 Try this tonight. 28:58.486 --> 29:00.822 Go home, take your clothes off, get naked. 29:00.905 --> 29:05.118 Step inside a quiet, dry shower. 29:06.786 --> 29:08.413 Feel that tension. 29:09.622 --> 29:12.083 It's different. It's not neutral. 29:13.877 --> 29:16.629 Look at all the nozzles on your showerhead. 29:17.297 --> 29:19.507 And then with your own hand, 29:19.591 --> 29:21.384 blast yourself. 29:24.679 --> 29:26.055 Don't flinch. 29:27.098 --> 29:28.391 Don't block. 29:30.685 --> 29:31.519 Just be brave. 29:31.603 --> 29:33.980 When the ghosts see you do that… 29:35.440 --> 29:36.858 they get scared. 29:37.901 --> 29:40.487 The haunter becomes the haunted. 29:43.615 --> 29:47.785 They're like, "This dude crazy. I can't stay here." 29:48.745 --> 29:50.079 And they leave. 29:50.789 --> 29:53.291 And when you feel that spirit start to dissipate, 29:53.374 --> 29:55.668 you go, "Boo." 30:03.551 --> 30:07.305 Trying to celebrate the small wins in my life, man. 30:07.388 --> 30:08.848 I recently hit a new milestone. 30:08.932 --> 30:12.727 I just started buying my toothbrushes in bulk. 30:14.145 --> 30:15.438 That's new to me, man. 30:15.522 --> 30:19.025 Most of my life, I lived toothbrush to toothbrush. 30:19.567 --> 30:20.401 No backup. 30:20.485 --> 30:23.279 I'm out there just buying loosies. 30:25.657 --> 30:27.033 I had one, 30:27.116 --> 30:31.955 and I would use that one until no two bristles were parallel. 30:33.206 --> 30:35.833 And then I would continue to use that one 30:35.917 --> 30:39.003 because I would convince myself it's probably more effective 30:39.087 --> 30:42.298 now that I made it all woolly like that. 30:43.424 --> 30:44.968 They're getting stronger. 30:45.843 --> 30:48.471 Soon I'll promote it to kitchen duty. 30:52.684 --> 30:55.019 It's a sense of security. 30:55.103 --> 30:58.189 It feels good to know that when I go home tonight, 30:58.273 --> 31:00.608 if I want a fresh one, I got it. 31:01.359 --> 31:04.028 I got it. If you come over, I got you. No problem. 31:04.112 --> 31:06.197 You could bring up to four friends. 31:08.908 --> 31:13.705 And the best part about the multipack, you get to pick a color. 31:14.414 --> 31:15.540 That's an opportunity. 31:15.623 --> 31:18.126 Take your time, be intentional, check in with yourself. 31:18.209 --> 31:21.796 What color brings the energy that you need right now? 31:22.797 --> 31:24.716 The blue one. Oh, that's soothing. 31:24.799 --> 31:27.010 That's an ocean of serenity. 31:27.802 --> 31:32.015 The red one. Oh, yeah, that's fun, but it's a little bit spicy. 31:33.182 --> 31:34.976 The purple one is powerful. 31:35.059 --> 31:40.857 I only pick the purple one when I want to change the narrative. 31:42.233 --> 31:44.360 Sometimes you not living your best life. 31:44.444 --> 31:47.238 You might've made a series of self-destructive decisions. 31:47.322 --> 31:52.076 Now you need to adjust your behavior according to your core values. 31:53.119 --> 31:55.413 Well, come on then, purple toothbrush. 31:56.414 --> 31:57.999 Let's ride. 31:58.791 --> 32:03.004 We got plaque and demons to vanquish. 32:07.216 --> 32:09.260 I want to be a better person, obviously. 32:09.344 --> 32:12.472 You know, I'm trying. I have the desire to learn. 32:12.555 --> 32:16.267 I just don't always have the follow-through. 32:16.351 --> 32:20.313 That's why I got so many tabs open on my computer. 32:21.898 --> 32:26.861 There's so many resources on the Internet I feel like I could benefit from, yeah. 32:27.654 --> 32:31.074 Yeah, but like, not today. 32:32.408 --> 32:34.077 Later. 32:35.370 --> 32:37.497 Hey, but send me that link, though. 32:41.459 --> 32:44.879 I want that link. I'll open up a tab. I got a system. 32:45.630 --> 32:49.425 The more tabs you collect, the smaller they get. 32:50.760 --> 32:51.886 It starts out like that. 32:51.969 --> 32:56.224 Then it becomes, "Uh-oh, no more information." 32:57.266 --> 33:00.770 You don't know what this represents, but there's a whole bunch of them. 33:02.146 --> 33:03.731 And there's shame there, right? 33:03.815 --> 33:06.442 'Cause if you have a work meeting, you got to share your screen. 33:06.526 --> 33:08.528 You don't share that screen. 33:09.237 --> 33:11.155 Uh-uh. You open up a new window. 33:11.239 --> 33:13.825 You act like, "Everything's okay, boss." 33:15.243 --> 33:18.162 "I'm good. I'm here for the shareholders." 33:21.791 --> 33:24.168 Every few months, your browser wants to update. 33:24.252 --> 33:27.255 You're like, "Hold up. What about my collection?" 33:29.090 --> 33:31.175 Your browser's like, "Don't trip. We got you." 33:31.259 --> 33:35.138 "We're going to reopen all the tabs." 33:35.221 --> 33:36.305 "It's a lot, though." 33:36.389 --> 33:38.683 "You should be using bookmarks." 33:40.768 --> 33:44.313 Every few years, your computer will crash completely. 33:44.397 --> 33:47.692 All the tabs disappear forever. 33:47.775 --> 33:51.529 The sense of loss devastates you. 33:52.030 --> 33:54.782 But then you're like, "Finally, I'm free." 33:56.451 --> 33:59.704 "Thank you for doing what I could not do for myself." 34:05.960 --> 34:08.171 Yeah, I just don't know about all this technology. 34:08.254 --> 34:10.590 I'm not sure it's really making our lives better. 34:10.673 --> 34:14.677 I know it's making some parts of life weird. 34:15.303 --> 34:17.847 You know? Like I recently lost my headphones. 34:17.930 --> 34:20.475 I left them somewhere outside of Atlantic City. 34:20.558 --> 34:22.268 I'm not going to get them back. 34:22.351 --> 34:24.979 But with the power of tech, 34:25.063 --> 34:26.981 I can still check in on them. 34:28.983 --> 34:32.695 If I want to, I can see where they are right now. 34:33.738 --> 34:35.573 That's not healthy. 34:36.574 --> 34:39.452 I know where they live. I know where they work. 34:39.535 --> 34:42.872 I know they be getting charged on the regular. 34:43.790 --> 34:45.500 They moved on. 34:46.000 --> 34:47.794 They doing their thing. I'm messed up. 34:47.877 --> 34:50.630 There's an option to forget this device, but… 34:51.172 --> 34:53.299 I don't want to forget! 34:54.759 --> 34:58.387 I don't want to let go. I already lost you once, girl. 34:59.555 --> 35:02.683 I can't believe you just going to pair up with anybody. 35:08.314 --> 35:12.443 I try not to get caught up with things, with consumerism, material stuff. 35:12.527 --> 35:15.113 But I also try to take care of what I do have. 35:15.196 --> 35:16.697 Like I bought these glasses. 35:16.781 --> 35:20.118 So, you know, I put on contacts if I have to do something physical, 35:20.201 --> 35:23.996 like when I go to play basketball, or if I go to a strip club. 35:26.958 --> 35:29.627 You know? 'Cause if you wear glasses to a strip club, 35:29.710 --> 35:32.839 and if you sit near the stage, there's a pretty good chance 35:32.922 --> 35:35.842 the dancer's going to take your glasses off your face. 35:35.925 --> 35:38.344 It's happened to me more than twice. 35:41.055 --> 35:44.475 And if you want to play the sexy librarian, go for it. 35:44.559 --> 35:45.852 I will support you, 35:45.935 --> 35:49.021 but bring your own props. 35:50.398 --> 35:51.649 This is not a toy. 35:51.732 --> 35:54.735 This is a medical device. 35:55.319 --> 35:58.072 Normally, I only let the opticians handle them. 35:58.156 --> 36:02.243 But since you're not wearing clothes, I'm going to let it slide tonight. 36:05.496 --> 36:09.292 They take your glasses, they put them on, they wear it low on the nose, 36:09.375 --> 36:11.711 and they shoot you these sultry looks. 36:12.712 --> 36:14.297 It's supposed to be a sexy moment, 36:14.380 --> 36:17.133 but it's not, 'cause I'm squinting back at her. 36:23.639 --> 36:25.933 "I think she got four nipples." 36:31.063 --> 36:33.691 And then she changes tactics. She takes the glasses off, 36:33.774 --> 36:38.196 and she gives the glasses a close-up tour of her body. 36:38.279 --> 36:42.700 I'm like, "Wow, that looks like a lot of fun for the glasses." 36:44.410 --> 36:47.205 But I can't see what the glasses see. 36:47.705 --> 36:51.792 It's not Bluetooth-connected to my occipital lobe. 36:57.089 --> 36:59.008 Finally, I get them back. I get my glasses back. 36:59.091 --> 37:02.136 And of course, my lenses are all smudged up. 37:02.637 --> 37:05.306 I got booby prints on my lenses. 37:05.890 --> 37:10.603 It's a personal touch, but I don't get turned on from forensics. 37:11.604 --> 37:13.314 I didn't bring my lens cloth. 37:13.397 --> 37:17.485 Now I got to watch the whole show in low-res. 37:24.283 --> 37:26.494 I had to take a break from touring. 37:26.577 --> 37:30.665 I had to go back home to LA to do a little jury duty. 37:31.165 --> 37:33.334 Yeah, I wasn't trying to get selected. 37:33.417 --> 37:37.338 But I got drafted in the first round. Number one pick, baby. 37:38.172 --> 37:41.008 I was all proud of myself, and then I was worried. 37:41.092 --> 37:45.221 I was like, "If I'm the first pick, this team's not gonna make the playoff." 37:47.098 --> 37:49.934 We did the whole selection process. It was a done deal. 37:50.017 --> 37:53.062 Last minute, juror three raises his hand. He's trying to get out. 37:53.145 --> 37:55.648 He said, "Your Honor, I've been applying for jobs." 37:55.731 --> 37:58.067 "I might have an interview next week." 37:58.150 --> 38:00.278 The judge, she took one look at him, 38:00.361 --> 38:04.115 and then she decided he was going to remain on the jury. 38:04.699 --> 38:06.701 'Cause a judge gonna judge. 38:07.326 --> 38:08.703 And based on what she saw, 38:08.786 --> 38:11.163 she was like, "You not going to get no job." 38:12.707 --> 38:15.334 She deemed him unemployable. 38:15.835 --> 38:18.629 And then she made him my coworker. 38:20.423 --> 38:22.591 So it made me question the system, you know? 38:22.675 --> 38:25.177 'Cause on paper, jury duty is a noble idea, 38:25.261 --> 38:28.514 but in reality, it feels so casual, right? 38:28.597 --> 38:32.727 The government's just like, "Well… are you free?" 38:35.021 --> 38:37.273 "Come downtown. We have a situation 38:37.356 --> 38:40.985 in a field in which you have no background experience, 38:41.610 --> 38:44.030 you have no insight or interest, 38:44.113 --> 38:46.490 but we're going to have two very biased parties 38:46.574 --> 38:51.454 present completely opposite arguments to prove that they are right." 38:51.537 --> 38:54.540 "And then you tell us the truth, for real." 38:56.834 --> 38:58.210 "You got this." 39:03.090 --> 39:04.550 It's a… 39:05.801 --> 39:07.970 It's a lot of pressure, you know? 39:08.054 --> 39:09.513 Court is kind of sacred, 39:09.597 --> 39:12.808 potentially where you can right the wrongs of the past. 39:12.892 --> 39:16.145 And people are dressed for that. The judge is wearing a robe. 39:16.228 --> 39:18.189 The lawyers are wearing tailored suits. 39:18.272 --> 39:19.899 It's a pretty formal affair, 39:19.982 --> 39:21.901 except for the jury. 39:23.194 --> 39:27.865 The jury, we look like we have nothing invested in the outcome. 39:28.824 --> 39:31.285 We're dressed like we've been inconvenienced 39:31.368 --> 39:35.581 and we would like the court to know this was not an ideal time. 39:41.045 --> 39:43.631 We did not do a good job. 39:44.548 --> 39:46.634 It was three weeks of trial, 39:46.717 --> 39:49.553 and yet nobody took notes. 39:50.679 --> 39:54.016 No notes. Everybody's like, "I'll probably remember that." 39:56.727 --> 39:59.688 By the time it came to deliberation, we had nothing. 39:59.772 --> 40:01.941 We just going off energy. 40:03.275 --> 40:05.861 We're like, "I don't know, uh…" 40:07.738 --> 40:09.281 "Guilty?" 40:11.951 --> 40:13.702 It sounds terrible, but relax. 40:13.786 --> 40:15.413 No one's life was on the line. 40:15.496 --> 40:16.872 It was a civil case. 40:16.956 --> 40:20.459 It was a US corporation suing a Canadian corporation. 40:20.543 --> 40:22.628 So we just went with home team. 40:24.588 --> 40:27.216 Just give the fans what they want. Let's go. 40:28.884 --> 40:30.636 It was a very short discussion. 40:30.719 --> 40:32.763 We got together at 9:00 a.m. 40:32.847 --> 40:35.015 By 9:10, we were done. 40:36.433 --> 40:39.979 The thing is, during the trial, you on your own for lunch, 40:40.062 --> 40:42.565 but we found out during deliberation, 40:43.149 --> 40:46.527 if you work till noon, lunch is on the court. 40:47.069 --> 40:49.738 So as a jury, we all agreed unanimously. 40:49.822 --> 40:51.365 We're like, "Hey, 40:51.449 --> 40:53.534 don't turn in the answer yet." 40:54.743 --> 40:59.457 "Chill, chill. We'll deliver justice when they deliver turkey sandwiches." 41:00.458 --> 41:02.501 Quid pro sando. 41:03.919 --> 41:08.132 We withheld the verdict for three extra hours 41:08.215 --> 41:10.426 for some free food. 41:10.509 --> 41:14.972 And the sandwiches were mediocre. 41:15.681 --> 41:17.558 Ew. Not worth the wait. 41:17.641 --> 41:20.478 Not even worth the calories. 41:20.561 --> 41:26.734 As a jury, we demonstrated poor judgment till the very end. 41:27.234 --> 41:28.861 We got what we deserved. 41:28.944 --> 41:30.946 The system works, y'all. 41:38.913 --> 41:43.292 As I get older, I-- I find myself pivoting to nature, man. 41:43.375 --> 41:46.754 That's kind of where I go to get my peace and my joy these days. 41:46.837 --> 41:50.883 Even the partying that I'm doing, it's getting very outdoorsy. 41:50.966 --> 41:53.677 You know, I went to two bachelor parties like this. 41:53.761 --> 41:57.848 The first party was for my friend Louis. We went to Costa Rica. 41:58.474 --> 41:59.934 It's very tropical. 42:00.017 --> 42:01.894 Lot of water activities. 42:01.977 --> 42:04.313 We were wet often. 42:05.231 --> 42:09.485 Fifteen dudes in their forties 42:09.568 --> 42:12.988 wearing ill-fitting board shorts. 42:14.823 --> 42:17.910 I saw all my homies' butt cracks. 42:20.037 --> 42:22.289 That's not my choice. 42:23.332 --> 42:27.795 You know, when you suspect there's butt crack in your periphery, 42:28.629 --> 42:33.300 it's almost impossible to just move forward with your life. 42:33.968 --> 42:36.762 You're compelled to confirm. You're like, "Hold up one second." 42:41.350 --> 42:43.352 "I didn't want to do that." 42:45.688 --> 42:48.023 'Cause butt crack is magnetic. 42:49.483 --> 42:52.736 Butt crack acts like a pseudo-cleavage. 42:54.071 --> 42:59.034 It calls for attention through the power of mimicry. 43:00.411 --> 43:03.831 Your eyes are naturally drawn to that burgeoning shadow. 43:03.914 --> 43:07.418 "What's this mystery that my mind would like to solve?" 43:09.336 --> 43:11.630 That's not your choice. That's instincts. 43:11.714 --> 43:13.841 That's dopamine or something. 43:14.592 --> 43:16.260 It's very powerful. 43:16.343 --> 43:21.390 It's the same principle they use when they design a botanical garden. 43:21.890 --> 43:25.311 They always make the path windy 43:25.394 --> 43:26.854 to keep you curious. 43:26.937 --> 43:29.940 "But what's beyond that curve?" 43:31.150 --> 43:33.193 "Oh, I kind of want to know." 43:33.944 --> 43:35.863 Sometimes you follow the bend, 43:35.946 --> 43:39.992 and it leads you down to a beautiful patch of begonias. 43:40.075 --> 43:42.786 Other times, it's your boy's booty. 43:44.496 --> 43:47.708 "Oh! I'm not supposed to be in that garden." 43:48.542 --> 43:51.295 "That's a staff-only area." 43:57.926 --> 44:02.306 The other bachelor party I went to was actually a backpacking trip. 44:02.389 --> 44:05.059 Uh, not like hostels, but into the wild. 44:05.142 --> 44:07.728 Anybody ever done some backpacking like that? 44:09.271 --> 44:12.858 A small handful. Yeah, that-- that's the right amount. 44:13.692 --> 44:15.653 That is the correct amount 44:15.736 --> 44:18.322 'cause we don't have to live like that anymore. 44:21.116 --> 44:23.327 It's a crazy choice. 44:24.870 --> 44:26.038 You know, it's intense. 44:26.121 --> 44:29.291 It's not the same as camping. I've done a lot of camping, that's chill. 44:29.375 --> 44:32.795 Camping, you just drive to the campsite. 44:33.545 --> 44:34.713 You camp. 44:35.422 --> 44:40.302 Backpacking, you drive to what is not the campsite. 44:41.095 --> 44:43.555 You pull over on a highway, you unload everything, 44:43.639 --> 44:46.141 you put it on your back, you say, "Thank you, car." 44:46.225 --> 44:47.976 "I'mma take it from here." 44:49.770 --> 44:54.024 "For the next 26 miles, I'mma pretend I'm a car." 44:55.776 --> 44:58.487 "I'm off-road. I'm a Subaru." 45:04.993 --> 45:08.622 I've never even worn one of those packs, you know? 45:08.705 --> 45:11.792 I've never owned one. I'd never worn one. They're so big. 45:11.875 --> 45:13.794 Even as a kid, I never liked how they look. 45:13.877 --> 45:18.465 I always felt like the ratio was off. It's too much bag to human. 45:19.258 --> 45:21.260 Like, I'm a basic JanSport kind of kid. 45:21.343 --> 45:25.139 You know, like for me, a backpack should go from here to here. 45:25.806 --> 45:30.227 I don't like how those packs get so big they start to come up 45:30.310 --> 45:31.895 over your head. 45:32.730 --> 45:34.648 I'm like, "Hey!" 45:35.899 --> 45:38.652 "Hey, what you doing? You a backpack, right?" 45:39.361 --> 45:41.864 "Well, get back." 45:47.035 --> 45:50.497 My friend planned this trip for a bachelor party. 45:50.581 --> 45:54.001 That's not traditional. And I knew he was a spiritual guy. 45:54.084 --> 45:56.170 So when he told me he wanted to do something different, 45:56.253 --> 45:59.590 I was like, "Okay, cool. So no heavy drinking, no strippers." 45:59.673 --> 46:03.010 He's like, "Yeah, but also no shelter, no electricity." 46:06.013 --> 46:07.765 That's like saying, "Hey, let's party!" 46:07.848 --> 46:11.143 "But let's also abstain from fun and comfort." 46:14.396 --> 46:16.648 Nobody else came. 46:17.566 --> 46:20.736 The bachelor party was me and him. 46:22.362 --> 46:25.157 Two dudes alone in the wild for four days, 46:25.240 --> 46:28.786 giving each other nightly full-body tick checks. 46:30.454 --> 46:31.580 Uh-oh. 46:31.663 --> 46:33.999 It got romantic by accident. 46:36.293 --> 46:37.878 But the question is, 46:37.961 --> 46:42.216 would more boys make the party less gay? 46:45.052 --> 46:48.680 I don't know. I don't think we have the math to solve that equation. 46:56.188 --> 47:00.567 We did this trail, uh, off the coast of Northern California, 47:00.651 --> 47:02.611 and it was beautiful. 47:02.694 --> 47:04.738 You know, multiple times on the journey, 47:04.821 --> 47:08.617 I found myself on a bluff overlooking the ocean, 47:08.700 --> 47:10.285 overwhelmed by the beauty. 47:10.369 --> 47:14.790 And I would say to my friend, "Thank you for planning everything." 47:14.873 --> 47:17.084 "This feels like a once-in-a-lifetime thing, 47:17.167 --> 47:19.586 'cause I'll probably never do it again." 47:21.421 --> 47:25.425 He'd be like, "Grateful you could be here, otherwise I'd be by myself." 47:26.051 --> 47:28.220 And the two of us would just stand there quietly, 47:28.303 --> 47:31.932 trying to take in all the majesty. 47:32.558 --> 47:36.061 And then I would think to myself, "I could kill this guy right now." 47:39.147 --> 47:40.607 "I don't want to." 47:41.233 --> 47:45.612 "But if I did, this is the best time." 47:47.614 --> 47:51.577 I don't want to hurt anybody, but I love opportunity. 47:55.998 --> 47:58.709 Something about being in nature, it makes you feel so calm, 47:58.792 --> 48:00.711 so connected with the universe. 48:00.794 --> 48:04.089 It makes you ponder these profound questions, like… 48:04.172 --> 48:06.174 "Am I a murderer?" 48:13.098 --> 48:15.559 Four days in the wild was enough 48:15.642 --> 48:19.688 to really shift my perspective, really change my outlook. 48:19.771 --> 48:21.982 When I came back to regular life, 48:22.065 --> 48:26.069 I could not believe how good we have it. 48:26.153 --> 48:28.155 The basics. 48:28.238 --> 48:29.948 A trash can. 48:30.824 --> 48:32.951 Go four days, no trash can, 48:33.035 --> 48:35.913 then you realize that's a magical receptacle. 48:36.705 --> 48:39.708 You put whatever you want in there, whatever you want. 48:39.791 --> 48:42.711 That's no longer your responsibility. 48:43.378 --> 48:46.173 Nah, that's society's problem. 48:46.757 --> 48:48.508 You ain't got to worry about that. 48:48.592 --> 48:50.719 Your granddaughter will figure it out. 48:54.681 --> 48:55.933 I felt like a toddler. 48:56.016 --> 48:59.061 I could not wait to go poo-poo in the toilet. 49:00.687 --> 49:03.565 What a treat, the toilet. 49:03.649 --> 49:07.444 We were out there for four days just digging holes. 49:08.528 --> 49:10.113 Real quick pro tip. 49:10.197 --> 49:12.282 If you ever go backpacking, 49:12.866 --> 49:16.078 dig your hole the night before. 49:18.747 --> 49:20.290 Have a little foresight. 49:21.083 --> 49:22.167 Do it after dinner, 49:22.250 --> 49:25.128 after y'all already put one in the chamber. 49:27.798 --> 49:31.802 You don't want to dig a hole in the moment. 49:33.512 --> 49:38.183 You don't want to dig a hole under duress. 49:40.978 --> 49:43.021 It ain't going to be nice. 49:43.647 --> 49:46.817 I woke up on day two, bit of an emergency. 49:47.317 --> 49:48.819 I had to go. I grabbed a shovel. 49:48.902 --> 49:50.821 I ran out there. I couldn't think straight. 49:50.904 --> 49:52.030 I made some wrong turns. 49:52.114 --> 49:55.951 I ended up on a big patch of hard-baked earth. 49:57.285 --> 49:59.621 I couldn't break ground. 50:00.956 --> 50:02.082 I was getting desperate. 50:02.165 --> 50:06.712 I was like, "I might have to take care of business and then bury the body later." 50:07.713 --> 50:08.755 Kind of makes sense. 50:08.839 --> 50:12.259 Now you know how big that body is. 50:13.468 --> 50:15.887 When you digging ahead of time, you got to guesstimate. 50:15.971 --> 50:20.017 You got to ask yourself, "Are your eyes bigger than your butt?" 50:26.106 --> 50:28.358 My first hole, 50:28.442 --> 50:30.360 not enough hole. 50:32.654 --> 50:34.448 I tried to bury it at the end. 50:34.531 --> 50:36.366 It became a little hill. 50:38.452 --> 50:39.828 They say "leave no trace." 50:39.911 --> 50:42.164 I altered the topography. 50:43.582 --> 50:46.334 Now they got to update that squiggly map. 50:54.176 --> 50:57.846 It was a very memorable trip. We saw a lot of beautiful wildlife. 50:57.929 --> 51:02.893 One of the most spectacular things we witnessed was a full-grown black bear. 51:03.602 --> 51:04.895 When we came up on it, 51:04.978 --> 51:08.356 it was bounding straight up a real steep incline. 51:08.440 --> 51:11.943 And when I saw that power combined with that speed, 51:12.527 --> 51:14.029 it crushed me. 51:14.529 --> 51:15.739 'Cause I had a plan. 51:15.822 --> 51:18.825 I told myself, if I had to outrun a bear, 51:18.909 --> 51:21.745 I'mma fake left, then I'mma go right. 51:23.288 --> 51:27.501 Then I saw the bear go uphill hella fast. I said, "That's not realistic, though." 51:29.419 --> 51:32.422 I'mma fake left and then I'mma be dead for real. 51:34.591 --> 51:36.635 If I got attacked by a bear, 51:36.718 --> 51:39.554 I'mma have to just be present. 51:40.263 --> 51:44.100 Right? You got to learn to accept the things you cannot change. 51:44.184 --> 51:46.061 Breathe in, breathe out. 51:46.144 --> 51:50.148 "What's happening right now? Man, I'm delicious." 51:51.149 --> 51:55.112 "I'm getting mauled up. I'm too yummy to be in the forest." 51:56.321 --> 51:58.490 "Oh, I see you struggling with the thigh meat." 51:58.573 --> 52:01.827 "Yeah, my quads are tight from the hike, bear." 52:02.702 --> 52:05.539 "Sorry. You should have caught me last week at the crib." 52:05.622 --> 52:07.541 "I was tender then." 52:12.003 --> 52:14.923 On day one, we hiked eight miles. 52:16.007 --> 52:18.218 We're pretty deep into bear country. 52:18.301 --> 52:19.970 There's no more cell reception. 52:20.053 --> 52:23.306 By nightfall, it's so dark you can't see your own hand. 52:23.390 --> 52:26.268 And I remember we crawled into the tent 52:27.185 --> 52:30.981 and I zipped it up. I said, "Zip." 52:34.234 --> 52:36.570 "I guess that means we're safe now." 52:40.490 --> 52:44.119 "Is it okay if we both just go unconscious for eight hours?" 52:47.372 --> 52:49.082 "'Cause we're inside." 52:50.417 --> 52:54.713 "This is inside now. I went like that all the way to the top." 52:55.297 --> 52:58.758 "Basically transformed the windbreaker into a force field." 53:00.802 --> 53:04.055 "If we can't see them, how are they gonna know we in here?" 53:06.099 --> 53:08.310 "All right now, bears, go to bed." 53:08.393 --> 53:11.396 "You heard the zipper. It's bedtime, good night." 53:15.192 --> 53:16.610 I felt more in danger 53:16.693 --> 53:19.946 'cause my sleeping bag was right by the door. 53:20.447 --> 53:21.448 But then I was like, 53:21.531 --> 53:25.327 "The bear's probably not gonna use the proper entryway." 53:26.995 --> 53:29.956 "It's gonna bust in here like the Kool-Aid Man." 53:31.791 --> 53:36.171 It would be more unnerving if the bear did use the zipper. 53:50.769 --> 53:51.853 That part's so scary. 53:51.937 --> 53:54.898 Every time I do that, I give myself goose bumps. 53:57.275 --> 53:58.443 We, uh… 54:01.780 --> 54:04.449 Thank you. We have a-- We have a little bit of show left, 54:04.532 --> 54:07.911 but I wanna take a quick moment to say thank you for being here. 54:07.994 --> 54:09.788 Thank you for coming out. 54:16.127 --> 54:17.170 Um… 54:19.714 --> 54:20.882 I, uh… 54:22.092 --> 54:25.095 Yeah, man. Thank you guys for being here. I take none of this for granted. 54:25.178 --> 54:27.681 Like, I've been doing stand-up comedy for 23 years, 54:27.764 --> 54:31.476 and this is my first major tour, and we doing sold-out theaters. 54:33.853 --> 54:35.480 That's crazy. 54:37.524 --> 54:39.025 It's a real dream, you know? 54:39.109 --> 54:42.070 But to be honest, you know, my goal from the very beginning, 54:42.153 --> 54:43.780 I just wanted to work on the craft. 54:43.863 --> 54:47.909 I wanted to get better and get better and maybe eventually find my people. 54:47.993 --> 54:50.328 But I never really considered what that meant. 54:50.412 --> 54:51.496 'Cause I realize now, 54:51.579 --> 54:54.708 every comedian brings a different demographic of fans 54:54.791 --> 54:55.959 to these shows. 54:56.042 --> 54:59.671 And I'm learning about who y'all are, 'cause whenever I get a chance 54:59.754 --> 55:02.799 to talk to people who work at these shows, like the ushers, 55:02.882 --> 55:05.552 they always tell me they like my audience, 55:05.635 --> 55:09.806 'cause y'all generally like to have a good time, but you don't overdo it. 55:10.890 --> 55:13.560 Very few people get kicked out of my shows. 55:13.643 --> 55:16.229 Even in Philadelphia, it was quite peaceful. 55:18.523 --> 55:19.816 It was chill. 55:22.027 --> 55:23.319 'Cause you guys are kind. 55:23.403 --> 55:25.822 You respect yourselves, you respect others. 55:25.905 --> 55:28.366 And you just want to go to bed early. 55:30.118 --> 55:31.202 I see you. 55:31.286 --> 55:33.747 I mean, in a way, I'm proud of you. 55:35.123 --> 55:40.128 I know you got a wind-down routine that you cannot wait to initiate. 55:41.087 --> 55:44.174 There's so much to do. You gotta brew a chamomile tea. 55:44.257 --> 55:47.594 You gotta take a hot shower. You gotta do your skincare routine. 55:47.677 --> 55:50.513 You got your lymphatic drainage massage. 55:50.597 --> 55:52.640 You gotta meditate, you gotta read that book 55:52.724 --> 55:54.642 you've been trying to finish for 13 months. 55:54.726 --> 55:55.894 It's a lot. 55:58.480 --> 56:01.191 So I'm grateful that y'all are the fans 56:01.274 --> 56:03.651 'cause it's always such a kind, loving, wholesome vibe. 56:03.735 --> 56:06.988 I-- I want to reciprocate your support and your goodwill 56:07.072 --> 56:09.783 with a little bit of transparency. 56:09.866 --> 56:14.788 Uh, I believe I owe this to you. I just want to come clean. Um… 56:14.871 --> 56:16.456 I got a fake tooth. 56:19.084 --> 56:21.002 It's here in the middle, in the front. 56:21.086 --> 56:25.090 So you have been deceived for 56 minutes now. 56:27.258 --> 56:28.093 This is a crown. 56:28.176 --> 56:30.261 Everything else is real except for this crown. 56:30.345 --> 56:32.514 If you're a dentist, it's number eight. 56:34.891 --> 56:38.353 I broke that tooth a number of years ago. It was a different time in my life. 56:38.436 --> 56:41.272 I was living in New York, not making the best choices. 56:41.356 --> 56:44.776 Obviously before I activated my purple toothbrush. 56:48.113 --> 56:51.032 It's traumatic. Your first set of teeth, that's for fun. 56:51.116 --> 56:53.660 Your second set, that's for real. 56:54.494 --> 56:56.454 It's not coming back. 56:56.538 --> 56:59.040 I was so ashamed. I was so desperate. 56:59.124 --> 57:00.458 I went to my dentist, I said, 57:00.542 --> 57:04.629 "Please, I need you to control-Z what I did to myself." 57:05.755 --> 57:06.923 She was very reassuring. 57:07.006 --> 57:09.801 She said, "No problem. We're gonna put a crown on that." 57:09.884 --> 57:13.346 I didn't know what that meant. I said, "Do what you got to do. Let's go." 57:13.430 --> 57:16.266 When they put a crown on a broken tooth, 57:16.349 --> 57:20.395 they first whittle down what's left of the tooth 57:20.478 --> 57:24.023 into a tiny bloody stump. 57:25.775 --> 57:30.572 Most dentists don't want you to see, think, or know about that thing. 57:31.156 --> 57:34.325 My dentist decided she wanted to show me her work. 57:36.327 --> 57:41.166 At one point during the process, she swung a mirror down to my face. 57:41.666 --> 57:44.502 I didn't know what was going on. I thought we were done. 57:46.337 --> 57:49.799 I thought it was like when the barber shows you the back of your head. 57:50.842 --> 57:52.844 I'm about to get your tip ready. 57:56.848 --> 57:59.142 I took a quick glance. 58:00.393 --> 58:02.061 Horror. 58:04.522 --> 58:08.693 I did not react 'cause I didn't want to give it power. 58:10.153 --> 58:12.363 I went dead in the face. 58:13.198 --> 58:16.201 I looked away. I said, "Don't ever do that again." 58:17.869 --> 58:21.206 I said, "I don't know why I got to tell you this right now, 58:21.289 --> 58:25.168 but I came here for more tooth." 58:26.294 --> 58:30.131 "I wanted increase tooth." 58:30.215 --> 58:33.092 "You've been going the wrong way the whole time!" 58:37.889 --> 58:41.684 What I saw continues to haunt me. 58:42.977 --> 58:44.520 In the mirror, I see this, 58:44.604 --> 58:47.273 but in my mind, I know the truth. 58:48.691 --> 58:52.403 So I am motivated to protect that crown. 58:52.487 --> 58:56.574 I don't use that thing. That's not for biting or tearing. 58:56.658 --> 58:58.535 It's purely decorative. 58:59.369 --> 59:01.162 Because I know if that crown ever fell out, 59:01.246 --> 59:03.915 there is a petite goblin inside. 59:05.291 --> 59:06.668 Lurking. 59:08.086 --> 59:10.880 It's with me always. 59:15.343 --> 59:17.637 And if you look closely, you could tell, 59:17.720 --> 59:21.891 this crown, it's slightly bigger and whiter than the counterparts. 59:22.392 --> 59:25.562 'Cause when you go through that process, they let you pick a color. 59:25.645 --> 59:27.397 You choose a hue. 59:28.273 --> 59:32.193 Somewhere between off-white and off-er-white. 59:32.819 --> 59:34.821 And you can go lighter or darker, 59:34.904 --> 59:38.324 depending on where you feel like your life is headed. 59:40.159 --> 59:44.747 You still got ambition, or are you ready to just coast it out now? 59:46.332 --> 59:47.292 You decide. 59:47.375 --> 59:50.962 But if you're gonna go for it, you gotta be honest with yourself. 59:51.045 --> 59:54.674 How white are the other teeth ever gonna get? 59:55.675 --> 01:00:00.930 And how many years are you down to have one bright-ass tooth? 01:00:02.015 --> 01:00:03.808 I'm Sheng Wang. Thank you, DC. 01:00:06.311 --> 01:00:09.772 Thank you. Take care of yourselves. 01:00:10.481 --> 01:00:12.775 Love each other, support each other. 01:00:14.277 --> 01:00:15.737 I'll see you next time. each other.