Wow. Stunning.
Oh.
Go away from my window
Leave at your own chosen speed
I'm not the one you want, babe…
Rachel.
Rachel!
-Are you okay? -Oh my God.
-Wanna switch? We can switch. -What the fuck?
-I know. -Oh.
-Do you want me to drive? -Sorry. No, it's fine.
-Yeah. -Oh my God. I'm sorry.
Just will you talk to me so I don't fall asleep again?
Yeah, okay. Okay. Um…
Oh, the original Coldies is coming up in the next town.
-Hmm? -Yeah.
-Coldies? I don't-- -What, they didn't have Coldies in Oregon?
Well, you've heard of Coldies, though, right? The frozen custard shop?
-No. -Bro, are you kidding?
What about Larry Poole, the founder of Coldies?
How would I know about the founder of an ice cream shop I've never heard of?
I mean, he also murdered three women,
and it's custard… …not ice cream.
Oh my God, how?
-They make it different from ice cream. -No.
I think it uses more eggs or something. It was strangulation, I think, mostly.
There's this podcast about Larry Poole,
and it talks about this woman he tried to kill in the early '90s,
and she was, like, eight months pregnant,
and she just talks about all the fucking shit she had to do to survive.
I mean, what… what kind of fucking shit?
I was in his truck. He was taking me down this remote highway.
And that's when I noticed this tiny little shoe at my feet.
A Barbie shoe. That could have meant he had a daughter,
so I told him I was having a little girl.
I was pregnant. I kept reminding him, "I'm pregnant."
Then I saw a rest stop sign.
I asked if we could stop.
And he… he just reached over, and he slit my throat.
It felt hot, the… the blood coming out of me.
And what I didn't expect is that when you lose a lot of blood,
you can feel actually euphoric.
Uh…
It was the same way I felt on my wedding day.
More than near death,
it was almost like love.
And then Larry threw me out on the side of the road.
I just kept thinking…
…"If you close your eyes… …you'll die here."
So I got up.
I walked along the road holding my throat together.
And I started to feel less euphoric and more melted,
like I was disappearing,
but at the same time, like I was running a marathon.
And I was winning. I was winning.
I made it to the rest stop. A young couple was there.
Their eyes…
God, they were horrified by the sight of me.
But they were so kind.
I mean, thank God for them. Thank God for them.
Those people saved my life.
I'm gonna grab a lighter from the gas station. Want anything?
-Maybe, uh, cinnamon gum? -It's not that gross.
It's pretty gross. Oh, will you, uh, save us a--
Window booth. Yeah.
Ten seventy-five.
No doubt about it
-I really think you're fine -Ooh, baby
I'll shout all about it
-Tell the world you're mine -Ooh…
And what-- It's not just that. I heard that you can also actually feel
your bones and organs shifting to make room for the baby to come out.
You know, some women have giant babies. Have you heard of that?
Like 12-pound babies, huge heads, just tearing everything.
We wouldn't have a huge baby.
How do you know?
Well, I just think that, like, our future baby…
Yeah?
…would be dainty.
You can't guarantee that.
I don't want to be torn open.
It'll be small, I promise, like this.
-Smaller. -Smaller? Okay.
Smaller than that.
-Smaller. -Smaller?
-I can't-- -Okay. That's good.
Wait.
That's so close. Holy shit.
-Really? -Yeah, I gotta show you.
He's cursed with bad things happening to 'em.
-Why does he keep getting them? -I don't know. The guy loves dogs.
Why do they keep going missing?
I… What do you want me to say? Dogs go missing.
-No, dogs don't go missing. -What?
-Cats go missing. -That's not how it works.
Are you sure you've never seen the logo before? I mean, it's identical.
Mmm.
That is weird.
You even got the pose right and everything.
-Yeah. Hmm. I don't know. -It's crazy.
You have a sixth sense or something.
Did I ever tell you about my dad's girlfriend?
-The one that had the daughter, Kathy? -No, keep going.
This four-year-old girl Kathy, she could remember her past life,
and she always talked about her "late husband"
and how he drowned trying to rescue their son from the rapids.
Sounds like Kathy had a great imagination.
No, I think that children can inexplicably exist in a third dimension
or at least remember their past lives and, I don't know, maybe even the future.
And I think that's weird. I… I don't like it.
Or… Kathy had a great imagination.
You didn't know Kathy. She was haunted.
I don't want… haunted children.
-Yeah, well, we won't haunt them. -They come out haunted.
-You're not haunted. -You can't know that for sure.
I hope our kid comes out like you.
That's very sweet.
At least my mom got to skip that part.
Which part?
The whole thing. I mean, aren't children just basically like a vessel
for old people to pour their love into?
Just distract from the inevitable loneliness of aging.
Great lunch.
What reason would a person have to keep losing their dog?
It's not like it's on purpose. I'm like, who cares?
What's wrong?
It's okay. I didn't even know her.
-Yeah. -It's fine.
We had such a great seven and a half months together. It was so good.
I didn't… I didn't really even need any more.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I've actually heard that.
That's, um… That's a secret to a healthy adulthood.
What? A… a dead mother and an agoraphobic father?
-Is that the secret? -Yeah. It's perfect.
I think I read a New York Times article about it.
And they said also that someone with overbearing parents
makes the perfect match for someone with a dead mother and a strange father.
Should we, like, get married or something?
Oh, I'm thinking really small ceremony
in my parents' little vacation cabin in the woods.
None of the wedding bullshit, just beautiful nature,
snow falling outside the window.
And we don't have to fly.
We can drive and stop at the fanciest restaurants we can find.
That's it. Let's fucking go. I'll marry you.
Okay, cheers.
Clink.
-I love you. -Love you.
-Hey. -Hmm?
My family's gonna love you.
Thanks. She's got it. We're getting married.
-And, um… -Hmm?
Our kid will be perfect.
Don't put so much pressure on our kid.
Our kid will be mediocre.
Some kids kill their own parents.
Okay, but how is our kid gonna kill us when it's only this big?
He's killing the dogs, isn't he?
What?
Erratic seesaw
This exploding young brain Has gone and blown me out again
And now I don't feel the same
I love you
From the bottom of my heart…
Can you change it? Stop.
My heart was made for Bleeding all over you…
Do what I do, it's what I feel
Up to the sun, it won't be long
Ready? Three.
Two. One.
Mm-mm.
-Mm-mm. -Mmm?
Mm-mm.
-Mm-mm. -Mm-mm.
Mmm!
Mmm.
Mmm. Mm-mm.
Mmm.
Mmm. Mmm.
Mm-mm!
Damn it. Ow!
Ah!
Babe.
What?
-You weren't ready. -I'm sorry. It was a long tunnel.
Oh, but that's bad luck.
I'm sorry.
We'll get it on the way back.
Fuck.
God, I gotta pee.
Little cabin in the woods
Little man by the window stood
Saw a rabbit hopping by
Frightened as can be
"Help me, help me, help," he said…
Oh my God! Nicky! Nicky, come here! Come here!
-What? -Come here!
-Look. -Oh my God.
Do you think it's okay?
Wha--? Okay, stay here.
-Where are you going? -I'm gonna go check the bathroom.
-Rachel. Are you-- -I'm looking for its parents, and, uh…
-Just stay. I'll be right back. -Rachel!
Uh…
Okay. Hi, baby. What's up? No.
No, no, no, don't cry. Happy baby.
Hello?
Anyone in here?
Oh my God.
Hello?
Hey.
Uh, I'm not getting any service.
I checked the men's room. There's no one in there.
Oh, fuck. No service.
Okay.
Um…
I think one of us should stay here with the baby
and the other drive to the nearest gas station
or restaurant and call for help.
Okay, yeah. Um… What do you want me to…
Why is it quiet?
-What? -What if it freezes to death in there?
Lost my partner, what'll I do…
Okay. Uh…
Did you try breaking it?
What the fuck?
But the things we like always last
'Cause that's how it is
In heaven
Nothing will matter…
Hi. Hi. Excuse me.
There's a rest stop 20 miles south of here off the highway.
I don't have any cell service, but my boyfriend and I, uh, stopped there.
And… and we… we found a… a baby abandoned in a car,
and I think that maybe something, like, bad might have happened to its parents.
Uh…
Are you…
Are you alone out here?
Oh. That's good.
You're here.
Oh, that's less good.
Sorry, can you call the cops, please?
Uh…
Benjamin.
Yep, Benjamin.
So cool.
Benjamin was the name of the guy who worked here before me,
but he hung himself in the bathroom with an electrical cord,
and they were too cheap to get me a name tag with my own name on it.
Um…
Sorry, could you… could you call the cops now, please?
Are you stoned?
It helps me relax.
You seem relaxed.
Could you call the cops, please?
Wait here. I'll call.
Fuck!
Hey, you said south of here?
Uh, yeah, south of here. Um, hey.
Okay, stay there.
Wait. Benjamin.
You are what you are to me…
Fuck.
You are my destiny…
Are you sure he's the one?
Hey.
Hey! They're coming to rescue your baby!
What the fuck?
Fuck!
Oh my God! Fucking damn it.
Fuck!
-Oh my God. Sorry. Sorry. -You scared me, Nicky.
Is the baby okay?
Oh yeah, the family came back.
-What… the fuck? You're bleeding. -Oh.
What happened?
So, they thought I was trying to steal their baby,
and the guy punched me in the face.
-What? -Yeah.
They pulled over to get some fresh air because she was car sick.
-And then I guess they went for a walk. -And what, and left their baby in the car?
-Yeah, I don't know. -What?
Is that not fucking psychotic?
-Let me see. -Yeah, I know.
Oh.
Fuck, you had such a nice face.
Yeah, they were really apologetic. They felt like we did the right thing.
Okay, I'm so glad they felt that way.
Wait, wait. Should we wait for the cops?
No. No, let's get the fuck out of here.
-You okay? -Hmm?
-You okay? -Yeah. I'm just so tired.
-What is it? -Uh, code is 0817.
Your birthday?
No pressure marrying the favorite child.
Stop. You know they can't wait to meet you.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Your parents' little vacation cabin?
Is it not a cabin?
It's not little.
Hope I don't have a concussion or something.
God.
Okay. You ready?
Holy shit.
This is insane.
Oh God.
-Yeah. Um… -What is…
It's like a tradition with the family dogs.
Oh, it's actually…
We always got in trouble for looking in their eyes
because it was considered, like, disrespectful to do after they were dead.
How would anyone know if you looked them in the eyes?
Just… my dad said that they could see.
I just looked 'em in the eyes, so… what, am I in trouble?
I guess we'll find out.
Is that empty chair for… for me?
I know you… you've always dreamed of being painted into a family portrait
guarded by two taxidermy dogs.
My God, did they paint over your brother's ex-wife with his new one?
Yeah, my sister demanded it.
-That's fucking weird. -Yeah.
This is the love cave.
The love cave?
Yeah.
Woo!
Mmm…
Was this a family pet too?
Oh, no.
My great-grandmother Elizabeth was killed by a bear.
And her husband died trying to avenge her death.
Wow.
Yeah.
Would you do that for me?
Of course.
Oh, careful. Careful.
-Sorry. Sorry. -Yeah. You're good.
I could, uh… …get you some ice for your face,
or I could, you know, just call the butler.
Oh, he's off at ten.
Oh.
-I'm just kidding. Are you sure? -Stupid.
-I can get it. -I got it. Just tell me where it is.
All right. I'll get the bags from the car.
Kitchen, it's, uh, down the atrium
to the right of the curved hallway by the front door.
-Here? -Yeah, to the right.
Get the fuck out of here. We're having girl time.
It's a public kitchen. You go somewhere else.
Wait, did you make this for him? He eats this chicken all the time?
No. I don't cook for Jules. I cook for myself.
He just happened to be there.
You should divorce him and marry me
and complete the Cunningham sibling trifecta. Fuck!
-You scared the shit out of me! -Sorry!
Sorry, I… I didn't want to interrupt.
I can go.
Oh my God, she exists.
There's no such thing as interrupting. Come here. We're family!
Oh, it's your wedding!
Are you excited?
I am excited. I am.
Oh, we were just talking about you, and you appeared out of thin air.
I told you I can summon things.
She's not a thing, Portia.
Come meet your new family.
Uh…
Nellie. Julie.
-It's Nell. -Hi.
-It's Jules. -Nice to meet you.
I can't believe we're finally meeting you. It's like you've been avoiding us.
Oh my God, no.
I was disappointed you didn't come to London
or our Iceland trip last summer, but you're scared of planes or whatever?
No--
I was telling my friend Sydney about how you and Nicky met at an airport.
Oh! So romantic.
Thank you.
You're really cute. Isn't she cute?
-She's very cute, yeah. -Aw…
Oh, let me see the ring.
Oh.
So pretty.
-Nellie, isn't it pretty? -It is pretty, yeah.
So where is darling Nicky?
Uh, he's just unloading the car. We… we just got here. Um…
I actually came in here to get some ice for his face because he, um…
He got punched in the face tonight.
-Really? -What?!
It's a long story. It's…
We got time.
Um…
We were at a rest stop in, what, the middle of nowhere,
and there was an… like, an abandoned baby in… in a car.
Nicky stayed with the baby. I went to get help.
And then when I went to this dive bar,
there was this, like, very creepy guy. And--
What if it was the Sorry Man?
Portia.
The what?
Did you know there's something evil living in these woods?
Mm-mm. No, we're not doing that.
Come on! I can tell a fucking story if I want to.
-I'm done. -Rachel wants to hear it.
Don't worry.
Good night, Rachel.
Good night.
-Watch out. -Oh!
Okay, I'm gonna go.
-Rachel. -Hmm?
It's quick. It's a bedtime story.
Yeah. Okay.
Okay. Picture this. It's a regular winter day, a day just like today.
Jules is like 8 and decides to run away because he's dramatic.
I'm a baby, so I don't remember it anyway.
It starts getting dark out, and baby Jules is all alone in the woods.
You know what's worse than being all alone in the woods?
When you realize you're actually not all alone.
So Jules hears a woman screaming like…
…but worse.
He tries to run away from the sound, but no matter what direction he gets,
the screams get louder and louder
and louder and louder and louder…
Until he comes face-to-face with it.
The Sorry Man.
With his long, sharp, dirty nails, his distended belly,
his mouth open in a downturned smile, wailing.
It's awful. Picture that shit ten fucking feet in front of you,
and that's what baby Jules sees.
So Jules hides from the Sorry Man, holding his breath,
watching, watching,
watching
as the Sorry Man cuts a woman open
and turns her inside out.
And the whole time he does it, he cries,
and he says, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
It's awful.
He's totally deranged, and he comes up from hell stalking these woods,
believing his long-lost wife is hidden inside another woman.
Like one day, he'll slice a woman open and
there she'll be.
And the two of them can go back to hell in some fucked-up, romantic kind of…
Oh my God.
What is that?
Ha! I got you! I got you both.
Oh, Judie, what's up?
What are you doing up, Judie? Spying on the girls?
Sorry, Aunt Portia. I couldn't sleep.
Well, this is Rachel.
She's gonna be your new aunt. Isn't that exciting?
Aw, it's okay.
No, the Sorry Man's awoken by the scent of blood,
so you just have to avoid bleeding. You're not on your period, right?
Don't worry. The Sorry Man doesn't want little boys. No.
He prefers brides.
So this is what we say to Auntie Rachel. Good night.
-Good night. -Sweet bride.
Sweet bride.
Don't let the Sorry Man see your insides.
Hey, sorry you had to hear that story to get me this.
It scared us so much when we were kids that our parents put a ban on it.
So you met Jules and Nellie too? That's fun.
Were they trying to kill each other with butter knives?
I mean, you don't believe in it… right?
No. I definitely don't believe in the human-skin-wearing monster from hell.
But something happened to Jules in the woods when we were kids.
He just… came back different.
You don't know what really happened?
I mean… …that's the story he came back with.
And then my parents ditched him at some fancy European boarding school.
Pretty messed up, right?
I stabbed a guy at the dive bar.
What?
With the car keys. He was super fucking creepy.
Wait, what? What do you mean?
He kept staring at me, and then he started walking up to me.
I thought he was gonna hurt me, but he was--
I don't know how to describe it. But also, like, he was watching me pee.
What? Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine. It was just…
I don't know.
I do feel sort of like I'm having déjà vu but, like, not the good kind.
Like I feel something so familiar, and I don't know how to describe it
except just dread.
Like when you just know something bad's gonna happen.
You just know. And I've been feeling that way
more and more and more and more and more since we got here.
And then now that we're here, I just, like… I don't know.
-I just, like, I really feel it now. -Hey, come here. Come here. Rachel.
Baby, come here.
It's okay. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I…
I get it. Hey, I've been feeling it too. I've been feeling off.
I completely understand.
Nicky.
Hmm?
Did you tell your sister I didn't come to Iceland because of a panic attack?
No. I… I wouldn't do that.
Then why does she know I'm afraid of flying?
Well, she knows the story of how we met.
I'm sorry.
I love you.
Mmm…
Sorry. Sorry.
What?
I have to do the thing.
Nicky!
Mrs. Cunningham?
Hey.
Mrs. Cunningham?
Hey, are you okay?
There she is!
The next Mrs. Cunningham.
Mmm.
Hi.
Victoria, sweetheart, let's get you back to bed.
I was… I was just getting the mail.
You don't have to do that, love. That's my job.
We won't be seeing much of each other anymore.
Oh, no, no, we will. It's… it's just the beginning.
Destiny
You're my destiny
You are my destiny
You are what you are to me
You are my happiness
That's what you are
You are my destiny
You share my reverie
You're more than happiness
That's what you are
My destiny you are