WEBVTT

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With this ring I thee wed
With all my worldly goods I thee endow…

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Nell.

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Nell.

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What? Fucking…

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I need a favor.

00:00:43.208 --> 00:00:46.125 align:center
It's illegal and weird,
and you can't ask me any questions.

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Let me get dressed.

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With this ring I thee wed
With all my worldly goods I thee endow

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To love and to cherish
According to God's holy ordinance

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You have declared your consent

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May the Lord fill you both
With blessings

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From this day forward
For better, for worse

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Until death do us part

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Rachel?

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You have declared your consent

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May the Lord fill you both
With blessings

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From this day forward
For better, for worse

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Until death do us part

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With this ring I thee wed
With all my worldly goods…

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The county clerk?

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I assumed I was helping you run away

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or fake your own death
or something interesting.

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I said no questions, please.

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You didn't say please.

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It's a Saturday. It's closed.

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Well, I have a key.

00:02:32.291 --> 00:02:33.625 align:center
Why do you have a key?

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I can't believe we're doing this.

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After you.

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Do you wanna get arrested?

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There are easier ways
to leave someone at the altar.

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Like just leaving.

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Uh…

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So, like I said,

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I'm going to die tomorrow
unless Nicky is my soulmate,

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and right now I'm not so sure about that.

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So I realized that if the curse spread

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to my great-great-great grandmother
over 100 years ago,

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my bloodline would've died out
after two generations,

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but it didn't because I'm here,

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which means that some of them survived,

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some of them found their soulmates
and married them,

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or… …I don't know, found another way.

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Okay, so, what?

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I need to find out how.

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If we can figure out
who my mom's parents were,

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then we can track the curse back and…

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Now I have a key.

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It's still breaking and entering
if you steal a key.

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Portia's gonna kill us, you know,
if we're late for the bachelorette party.

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-Do you wanna know the theme?
-Uh, I'm sure I don't.

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I should have her cancel the stripper.

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God, please tell me you're kidding.

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I'm kidding.

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Nothing could make her cancel
the stripper.

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Fuck.

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Okay, first we need to find
my parents' marriage license.

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Uh, court, court, court, court, court.
Deaths, deaths. Births.

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Marriages.

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Uh, Alexandra Harkin and Jay Holman.

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They were married January 13th, 1997.
This is 2013…

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There are literally tens of thousands
of documents in here.

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Well, better get to work
unless you want to miss the stripper.

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She will seriously kill us.

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Just tell her
we're getting manicures or something.

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-Mm-hmm.
-Okay.

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All right.

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Rachel?

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Uh…

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Hey, Dad.

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What are you doing?

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-Trapping foxes.
-Oh.

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I don't think there's any in here.

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I am glad to see that your sense of humor
has not run off with your fiancée.

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She left? Where…
do you know where she went?

00:05:36.708 --> 00:05:41.291 align:center
Nope. She didn't have much with her,
so I… I think she plans on coming back.

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That's great, Dad. Thank you.

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Very comforting.

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Say, that was a really interesting speech
she made last night.

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I don't want to talk about it, okay?

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I fucked up, and I'm trying to fix it.

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Mmm. At least she's with Nellie.
Nellie will talk some sense into her.

00:06:00.625 --> 00:06:03.916 align:center
Oh, you think my ex-girlfriend
is gonna convince my fiancée

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that I'm not a lying piece of shit?

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What if there's someone else
who's 5% more compatible for me

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and someone else
who's 5% more compatible for him?

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How would either of us ever know that?

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I mean, I guess I would know
if I fucking die at the altar.

00:06:15.416 --> 00:06:17.041 align:center
I think you're overcomplicating it.

00:06:20.541 --> 00:06:23.166 align:center
Oh. Okay, then, simplify it, please.

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No, look, I know-- I just mean
that it's all subjective, isn't it?

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There are no signs from the universe.

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It's just you taking something
that happened

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and then deciding which details
are important and which ones aren't

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and then deciding what it means.

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There's no cosmic assurance
that your marriage is gonna work out.

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Come on, come on.

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Go change your clothes. I wanna get
the traps set before it gets too late.

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Oh, you… you want me to come with you?

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Of course! You used to love fox trapping.

00:07:03.208 --> 00:07:04.583 align:center
I don't know if I loved it.

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Besides, it's… it's great
to get out in nature.

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It was good for me
when I was in the "woods," as it were.

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Right. Uh, you know, Dad, nowadays,
when you upset the person you love,

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you don't disappear on a hunting trip.

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You talk it out.

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The person
you are trying to reach is unavailable.

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You know, son, something I've learned
in my storied years of marriage

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is that you can't talk it out
if she doesn't answer the phone.

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Get your shit.

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-Hey. Happy bachelor party.
-Oh, you're coming.

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Hey, look at this!

00:07:54.666 --> 00:07:57.041 align:center
The Cunningham men all together again.

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-I'm sorry, Dad. I can't do this with him.
-Come on.

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What you did yesterday was fucked-up.
You ruined my wedding.

00:08:03.583 --> 00:08:05.625 align:center
That's dramatic. I was trying to help her.

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By making her second-guess
our relationship

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two days before we get married? Huge help.

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-I didn't make her do anything.
-Come on.

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I was trying to open her eyes
so she could judge

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if you're her true soulmate or not.

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No one asked you to do that.

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It's a matter of life or death.

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Dad, maybe this isn't
the best time for this.

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You used to love this part,
laying the traps.

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Yeah, I mean the thing where you hold us
hostage in the woods to bond,

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and we all just end up miserable and cold.

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We have to figure out some real shit.

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Wanna talk about real shit?

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This is the end of how things are.

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Once your mother is gone,
everything is going to change.

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We follow her rules.
She is what holds us together.

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Soon, we're gonna have a decision to make.

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Let each other go

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or find a new reason to stick together.

00:08:58.291 --> 00:09:01.416 align:center
But yeah, you're full-grown men.

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I can't make this decision for you.

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Just get over yourselves.

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Wait.

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Kathy Harkin.

00:09:17.125 --> 00:09:20.500 align:center
Kathy Harkin, Mark Ellis.

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Married August 22nd, 1997.

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Who were they?

00:09:25.708 --> 00:09:29.333 align:center
I don't know. Probably some relatives.

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Wait.

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That's weird.

00:09:37.083 --> 00:09:41.000 align:center
Why would there be other people
in my family that got married here?

00:09:41.541 --> 00:09:47.041 align:center
Mmm… Maybe because your family
are originally from here too.

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Or

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this place is like an evil death trap
meant to bring us here and kill us all.

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Or it's just a coincidence.

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Ah!

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Hello! Here's a death certificate.

00:10:06.666 --> 00:10:07.750 align:center
Mmm?

00:10:07.833 --> 00:10:09.958 align:center
Death certificate, Kathy Harkin.

00:10:12.291 --> 00:10:14.583 align:center
Wait. Uh, August 22nd.

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Oh God.

00:10:22.250 --> 00:10:25.041 align:center
Well, what… what does that mean?

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She died the same day she got married.

00:10:37.500 --> 00:10:39.541 align:center
That's not a coincidence.

00:10:42.041 --> 00:10:42.875 align:center
Okay.

00:10:44.083 --> 00:10:48.125 align:center
We should start looking for birth
and death certificates too.

00:10:48.208 --> 00:10:50.375 align:center
There may be more of them.

00:10:50.458 --> 00:10:53.791 align:center
And maybe we can make,
like, a… like, a family tree.

00:11:20.166 --> 00:11:21.125 align:center
Okay.

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Here's your parents.

00:11:24.416 --> 00:11:28.000 align:center
And here's another death.
It's Roger Harkin.

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-October 9th, 1941.
-Great.

00:11:30.125 --> 00:11:33.708 align:center
-Wait, Roger Harkin. I just saw this. Uh…
-Mm-hmm.

00:11:33.791 --> 00:11:39.583 align:center
Ah. Roger Harkin. Okay.
Roger Harkin. Roger Harkin. Roger Harkin.

00:11:41.000 --> 00:11:45.666 align:center
Roger Harkin, cause of death… hemorrhage.
Just like my mom.

00:11:49.166 --> 00:11:51.833 align:center
He was married October 9th.

00:11:52.666 --> 00:11:54.916 align:center
Died October 9th, 1941.

00:12:29.250 --> 00:12:30.166 align:center
Dad, he's--

00:12:30.250 --> 00:12:32.000 align:center
Ten years sober, Dad.

00:12:33.458 --> 00:12:34.500 align:center
Right.

00:12:35.833 --> 00:12:36.750 align:center
Sorry.

00:12:36.833 --> 00:12:37.833 align:center
It's okay.

00:12:42.083 --> 00:12:45.000 align:center
Well, now I gotta piss.
You keep an eye out.

00:13:01.083 --> 00:13:02.875 align:center
You should've told me about Mom.

00:13:04.250 --> 00:13:05.708 align:center
Like, months ago.

00:13:07.208 --> 00:13:08.500 align:center
I tried.

00:13:09.625 --> 00:13:13.083 align:center
But you know
how Mom is so protective of you.

00:13:15.000 --> 00:13:16.791 align:center
You could've told me anyway.

00:13:18.041 --> 00:13:20.916 align:center
Yeah, like you'd betray Mom's wishes.

00:13:21.000 --> 00:13:23.458 align:center
I'm sick of this family
treating me like a child.

00:13:24.416 --> 00:13:25.458 align:center
Yeah.

00:13:25.541 --> 00:13:27.000 align:center
It's fucking with me.

00:13:29.291 --> 00:13:33.000 align:center
Well, you have to admit
you do have trouble accepting things.

00:13:33.500 --> 00:13:35.875 align:center
You can't accept imperfection.

00:13:35.958 --> 00:13:38.166 align:center
-You always have to overdo shit.
-Okay.

00:13:38.250 --> 00:13:41.333 align:center
You give up when you know
something won't work out in your favor.

00:13:41.416 --> 00:13:45.208 align:center
It's true. I've known you my whole life.
You always have to have a perfect story.

00:13:45.291 --> 00:13:48.166 align:center
The… the perfect meet-cute
for your perfect love story.

00:13:48.250 --> 00:13:50.125 align:center
Like you didn't embellish
your story either.

00:13:50.208 --> 00:13:51.833 align:center
Well, she was my friend first.

00:13:51.916 --> 00:13:54.125 align:center
She was our friend!
I'm not fighting with you about this.

00:13:54.208 --> 00:13:56.000 align:center
-You brought it up.
-You brought it up!

00:14:03.333 --> 00:14:06.708 align:center
The problem is that you contextualize
every little thing around yourself.

00:14:06.791 --> 00:14:08.375 align:center
I didn't marry your ex-girlfriend.

00:14:08.458 --> 00:14:10.916 align:center
I married the woman I was in love with
since I was 21.

00:14:11.000 --> 00:14:14.458 align:center
You were not in love with her back then.
You say that to make it sound like…

00:14:14.541 --> 00:14:16.583 align:center
-It was obvious.
-…I stole something from you.

00:14:16.666 --> 00:14:18.916 align:center
-You were mean to her.
-Because I was in love with her.

00:14:22.458 --> 00:14:23.750 align:center
I couldn't make your wedding

00:14:23.833 --> 00:14:26.708 align:center
because I was doing something good
for someone who needed it.

00:14:26.791 --> 00:14:29.083 align:center
But you only did it
because it's a good story.

00:14:29.166 --> 00:14:30.458 align:center
That's not true.

00:14:30.541 --> 00:14:33.541 align:center
It's true.
You're drawn to stories, not people.

00:14:33.625 --> 00:14:37.500 align:center
You could've just asked for her number
and then still flown to my wedding.

00:14:37.583 --> 00:14:42.250 align:center
But no, you just had to do
some big, forced romantic gesture.

00:14:42.333 --> 00:14:44.958 align:center
Fuck off. You weren't there.
It was the right thing to do and--

00:14:45.041 --> 00:14:48.125 align:center
I'm not talking to you about this.
We're sitting in silence now.

00:15:09.166 --> 00:15:11.291 align:center
It's not your fault.

00:15:17.416 --> 00:15:21.875 align:center
It's… it's not your fault, by the way.
It's, um… it's Mom and Dad's.

00:15:23.666 --> 00:15:27.000 align:center
They, um… they fed you
this stuff about perfection,

00:15:27.875 --> 00:15:29.541 align:center
perfect relationship,

00:15:30.041 --> 00:15:31.750 align:center
soulmate shit.

00:15:32.833 --> 00:15:35.750 align:center
They hid so much from all three of us.

00:15:37.166 --> 00:15:38.708 align:center
But mostly you.

00:15:40.458 --> 00:15:44.500 align:center
Just be careful. I don't want you
to ruin everything like you usually do.

00:15:46.916 --> 00:15:48.708 align:center
You ruined everything last night.

00:15:48.791 --> 00:15:51.583 align:center
I had to make sure
she understood the whole story, man.

00:15:51.666 --> 00:15:53.541 align:center
She was staking her belief on a lie.

00:15:53.625 --> 00:15:54.916 align:center
Okay, I know. I'm fixing it.

00:15:55.000 --> 00:15:57.291 align:center
You have to get her to believe
you're her soulmate.

00:15:57.375 --> 00:15:58.875 align:center
It's the only chance she might live.

00:15:58.958 --> 00:16:02.583 align:center
Jesus Christ, I get it.
I said I didn't wanna talk anymore.

00:16:07.166 --> 00:16:09.583 align:center
And I'm definitely not taking
relationship advice from you.

00:16:09.666 --> 00:16:10.791 align:center
I thought we weren't talking.

00:16:10.875 --> 00:16:13.208 align:center
You and Nellie are like fucking kids
playing tennis.

00:16:13.291 --> 00:16:15.208 align:center
At least me and Nellie are honest
with each other.

00:16:15.291 --> 00:16:16.791 align:center
You guys are brutally honest.

00:16:16.875 --> 00:16:18.916 align:center
That's not better than
protecting the person you love.

00:16:19.000 --> 00:16:23.416 align:center
Oh my God. That's what I'm saying.
That's… that's what Mom and Dad did to us.

00:16:23.500 --> 00:16:26.291 align:center
Don't do that to her. Be fucking honest.

00:16:26.375 --> 00:16:28.083 align:center
Rachel and I have a great relationship.

00:16:28.166 --> 00:16:30.416 align:center
I don't need to defend
my relationship to you.

00:16:30.500 --> 00:16:32.375 align:center
Then why are you defending it?

00:16:36.583 --> 00:16:38.208 align:center
"Tennis."

00:16:38.291 --> 00:16:39.291 align:center
Fuck off.

00:16:45.166 --> 00:16:48.083 align:center
-Holy shit. Fox. There's a fox.
-What? Yell for Dad.

00:16:48.166 --> 00:16:50.416 align:center
What do I yell again? Hooty-hoo?

00:16:50.500 --> 00:16:53.125 align:center
-Whoop-de-woo?
-Whoop-de-woo.

00:16:53.208 --> 00:16:56.000 align:center
It's hooty-hoo, you idiots.

00:16:58.125 --> 00:17:00.666 align:center
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

00:17:01.166 --> 00:17:02.708 align:center
Nicky, that's your set.

00:17:07.541 --> 00:17:09.000 align:center
You do the honors.

00:17:13.833 --> 00:17:16.375 align:center
Safety's on.
Keep it on till you get down the hill.

00:17:18.583 --> 00:17:21.125 align:center
-You're all right. You're all right.
-Okay.

00:17:45.000 --> 00:17:46.416 align:center
Fuck.

00:17:47.250 --> 00:17:48.583 align:center
Fuck.

00:17:52.708 --> 00:17:53.625 align:center
Here's you.

00:17:59.208 --> 00:18:00.875 align:center
Here's your birth certificate.

00:18:01.875 --> 00:18:03.541 align:center
Oh, thank you.

00:18:08.291 --> 00:18:13.000 align:center
Okay, so it looks like
the curse first spread to my bloodline

00:18:13.083 --> 00:18:14.666 align:center
with Marianne and Thomas Harkin.

00:18:14.750 --> 00:18:16.791 align:center
And it looks like they had three kids.

00:18:16.875 --> 00:18:18.750 align:center
Two of them had
their own kids out of wedlock,

00:18:18.833 --> 00:18:20.375 align:center
and one of them got married.

00:18:20.458 --> 00:18:23.916 align:center
That's Carrie Harkin.
Married April 27th, 1870.

00:18:25.416 --> 00:18:30.083 align:center
Declared dead April 27th, 1870.
Hemorrhage.

00:18:30.166 --> 00:18:35.958 align:center
And, uh, Virginia Harkin.
Married November 1st, 1947.

00:18:36.041 --> 00:18:40.666 align:center
And also dead November 1st, 1947.
Hemorrhage.

00:18:40.750 --> 00:18:42.833 align:center
But the curse spreads
if you don't get married?

00:18:42.916 --> 00:18:47.500 align:center
Only if you've accepted a proposal.
Otherwise, it has no one… to spread to.

00:18:47.583 --> 00:18:51.875 align:center
I guess these people, all of them,
must have known about the curse

00:18:51.958 --> 00:18:55.125 align:center
and just decided to avoid marriage.

00:18:55.208 --> 00:18:59.083 align:center
Like my… my grandmother… Audrey.

00:18:59.166 --> 00:19:02.541 align:center
Audrey, she… she had my mom
out of wedlock, right,

00:19:02.625 --> 00:19:04.875 align:center
so she obviously knew not to get engaged.

00:19:04.958 --> 00:19:07.958 align:center
But her sister, Lori…

00:19:08.708 --> 00:19:12.750 align:center
…wed February 10th and died February 10th.

00:19:14.208 --> 00:19:15.958 align:center
Mm.

00:19:16.041 --> 00:19:19.791 align:center
And it's the same with…

00:19:22.166 --> 00:19:23.958 align:center
…Kathy and Roger

00:19:24.041 --> 00:19:27.958 align:center
and Virginia and fucking Carrie.

00:19:28.041 --> 00:19:31.666 align:center
Dead, dead, dead, dead,
dead, dead, dead, dead, dead.

00:19:31.750 --> 00:19:35.041 align:center
All of them fucking dead
on their wedding day.

00:19:49.333 --> 00:19:51.083 align:center
And it goes all the way down…

00:19:52.500 --> 00:19:53.708 align:center
…to me.

00:19:54.875 --> 00:19:55.833 align:center
Tomorrow.

00:19:57.916 --> 00:20:00.083 align:center
-This… this isn't right.
-Huh?

00:20:00.708 --> 00:20:03.083 align:center
They all have the same witness signature.

00:20:03.666 --> 00:20:05.416 align:center
-It's not possible.
-Yeah.

00:20:05.500 --> 00:20:08.500 align:center
-None of this is possible, and yet--
-No. No.

00:20:09.000 --> 00:20:13.833 align:center
He'd have to be
at least, what, like… 200 years old.

00:20:13.916 --> 00:20:15.458 align:center
Yeah. Yes.

00:20:15.541 --> 00:20:17.833 align:center
He is the one
who spread the curse to my bloodline

00:20:17.916 --> 00:20:19.625 align:center
because he didn't marry his fiancée,

00:20:19.708 --> 00:20:22.375 align:center
and now he has to witness
all of the cursed weddings

00:20:22.458 --> 00:20:23.750 align:center
as a punishment or something.

00:20:23.833 --> 00:20:25.250 align:center
How'd you know all that?

00:20:25.750 --> 00:20:27.500 align:center
He told me.

00:20:31.833 --> 00:20:34.791 align:center
-The 200-year-old man told you that?
-Yes.

00:20:36.541 --> 00:20:37.625 align:center
Yes.

00:20:46.916 --> 00:20:48.875 align:center
Do you believe me now?

00:20:55.416 --> 00:20:56.916 align:center
Do you believe me now?

00:21:13.166 --> 00:21:15.000 align:center
Oh fuck.

00:21:16.375 --> 00:21:20.250 align:center
Dad, I think we should call it.
We're never gonna find this thing.

00:21:20.333 --> 00:21:23.541 align:center
-It's only got three legs.
-It's gonna get dark soon.

00:21:23.625 --> 00:21:25.375 align:center
Keep your voices down.
You're gonna scare it.

00:21:25.458 --> 00:21:29.208 align:center
Scare it? It chewed off its own foot.
It's fucking petrified.

00:21:29.291 --> 00:21:31.791 align:center
It's gonna run
till its heart stops beating.

00:21:35.041 --> 00:21:36.916 align:center
Hey, what's the plan?

00:21:37.000 --> 00:21:40.791 align:center
Spend all night looking for it,
only to help nature along?

00:21:40.875 --> 00:21:44.625 align:center
What? Letting it slowly bleed to death
is better for you?

00:21:50.000 --> 00:21:51.958 align:center
What if you just ran?

00:21:52.541 --> 00:21:57.083 align:center
Fuck all of this. Sorry, Nicky.
Go home. Never look back.

00:21:57.666 --> 00:22:00.833 align:center
Yeah, if I did that, the curse
would just spread to his bloodline.

00:22:00.916 --> 00:22:04.083 align:center
Yeah, but what does that mean exactly?
Nicky would have the curse?

00:22:04.166 --> 00:22:05.458 align:center
I think it means

00:22:05.958 --> 00:22:10.041 align:center
he would have to deal with this shit
following him and his future offspring

00:22:10.125 --> 00:22:12.166 align:center
for the rest of their lives, so…

00:22:13.208 --> 00:22:14.166 align:center
But

00:22:15.166 --> 00:22:17.208 align:center
not not an option.

00:22:19.625 --> 00:22:20.958 align:center
He doesn't deserve this.

00:22:21.041 --> 00:22:22.291 align:center
You don't either.

00:22:22.375 --> 00:22:24.291 align:center
But I've already got it, so…

00:22:24.375 --> 00:22:28.458 align:center
I think the only way out
is down the aisle.

00:22:28.541 --> 00:22:32.000 align:center
I live or die, and that's it.

00:22:36.125 --> 00:22:37.125 align:center
That's it.

00:22:37.875 --> 00:22:40.625 align:center
How do you smoke that all the time
and not get paranoid?

00:22:43.041 --> 00:22:45.416 align:center
I do get paranoid.

00:22:52.000 --> 00:22:53.083 align:center
Hmm?

00:23:03.583 --> 00:23:08.041 align:center
And, just to be sure,
you really believe the immortal man?

00:23:09.000 --> 00:23:11.291 align:center
Yeah. Everything he said was true.

00:23:13.250 --> 00:23:14.833 align:center
Shit.

00:23:17.125 --> 00:23:18.125 align:center
Shit.

00:23:20.583 --> 00:23:21.666 align:center
Shit.

00:23:24.291 --> 00:23:25.333 align:center
Shit.

00:23:30.250 --> 00:23:31.500 align:center
Shit!

00:23:32.791 --> 00:23:34.875 align:center
That little bastard could be anywhere.

00:23:36.833 --> 00:23:38.583 align:center
-Shit!
-Well?

00:23:38.666 --> 00:23:39.791 align:center
We split up.

00:23:39.875 --> 00:23:42.458 align:center
Great. I'll go see
if he wandered back to the house.

00:23:44.375 --> 00:23:46.708 align:center
Good luck with the hunt. Nicky?

00:23:48.708 --> 00:23:49.583 align:center
No?

00:23:50.375 --> 00:23:53.458 align:center
Okay. Make sure to come to my room after
so you can tell me

00:23:53.541 --> 00:23:56.583 align:center
how you found the fox
and sewed its paw back on,

00:23:56.666 --> 00:23:59.250 align:center
and then the fox looked you in the eye
and said,

00:23:59.333 --> 00:24:03.625 align:center
"Thank you so much, Nicky,
for saving my life. You're my hero."

00:24:05.833 --> 00:24:06.833 align:center
Dad.

00:24:08.375 --> 00:24:12.000 align:center
Love these bonding trips with you.
We didn't get to bond much, though,

00:24:12.083 --> 00:24:16.208 align:center
so… I'll give you guys the scoop.
Nellie and I are getting divorced.

00:24:16.833 --> 00:24:18.166 align:center
-What?
-Yeah.

00:24:18.916 --> 00:24:22.000 align:center
-Jules.
-What? You signed papers?

00:24:22.083 --> 00:24:23.208 align:center
Not yet.

00:24:25.541 --> 00:24:28.000 align:center
So help me God,
you had better not tell your mother this.

00:24:28.083 --> 00:24:30.416 align:center
Of course not.
God forbid anyone's honest around here.

00:24:32.000 --> 00:24:33.291 align:center
Enjoy your night.

00:24:33.791 --> 00:24:36.541 align:center
Praying for your triumphant victory.

00:25:29.375 --> 00:25:31.083 align:center
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:25:31.583 --> 00:25:33.208 align:center
Arlene Harkin, yeah?

00:25:34.000 --> 00:25:35.791 align:center
Born, 1900.

00:25:36.291 --> 00:25:38.583 align:center
Married, 1922.

00:25:39.708 --> 00:25:41.708 align:center
We don't have a death for her.

00:25:42.916 --> 00:25:45.458 align:center
Well, she must be dead now.
They're all dead.

00:25:47.458 --> 00:25:52.916 align:center
Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead.

00:26:02.916 --> 00:26:05.625 align:center
Sort of looks like a toe on the ceiling.

00:26:07.791 --> 00:26:09.291 align:center
If you squint.

00:26:12.666 --> 00:26:13.500 align:center
Look.

00:26:20.541 --> 00:26:22.458 align:center
She died in 1979.

00:26:22.541 --> 00:26:25.458 align:center
So she was married for… 57 years.

00:26:26.000 --> 00:26:27.083 align:center
What?

00:26:27.958 --> 00:26:29.333 align:center
-What the fuck?
-Hey!

00:26:29.416 --> 00:26:31.291 align:center
Wait, wait, wait. Uh…

00:26:32.541 --> 00:26:34.125 align:center
How did she do it?

00:26:34.208 --> 00:26:36.708 align:center
I don't know,
but there's hope, isn't there?

00:26:40.291 --> 00:26:42.000 align:center
We gotta talk to her.

00:26:43.166 --> 00:26:44.833 align:center
Yes, but she's dead.

00:26:45.375 --> 00:26:46.916 align:center
We gotta talk to her.

00:26:48.250 --> 00:26:49.416 align:center
She's dead.

00:26:50.500 --> 00:26:54.041 align:center
We have to talk to her.

00:26:56.583 --> 00:26:59.291 align:center
The wedding cake is not all icing

00:26:59.375 --> 00:27:04.041 align:center
And loving, tender whispers
In the dark

00:27:06.750 --> 00:27:10.041 align:center
One slice is concern for your dreams

00:27:10.125 --> 00:27:14.708 align:center
'Fraid they won't come true
And break your heart

00:27:16.250 --> 00:27:20.583 align:center
Another slice is feedin' kids
And wipin' noses

00:27:20.666 --> 00:27:22.875 align:center
Cryin' when the doorbell rings

00:27:22.958 --> 00:27:26.166 align:center
And there are roses

00:27:26.250 --> 00:27:32.166 align:center
Every woman knows a lot of give-and-take
Comes with the wedding cake

00:27:39.708 --> 00:27:41.416 align:center
-All right.
-Oh…

00:27:42.750 --> 00:27:47.125 align:center
You get changed. I'll get Portia on board,
and I'll meet you in the sunken room.

00:27:48.125 --> 00:27:50.375 align:center
Play nice, or she won't help us.

00:28:24.916 --> 00:28:27.416 align:center
Fuck! Jesus, Portia.

00:28:28.208 --> 00:28:29.541 align:center
You're late, asshole.

00:28:29.625 --> 00:28:31.708 align:center
-I'm sorry--
-What were you two doing all day?

00:28:31.791 --> 00:28:33.541 align:center
Eating out everyone at the nail salon?

00:28:34.291 --> 00:28:35.875 align:center
Oh.

00:28:35.958 --> 00:28:39.416 align:center
These look really good. I hope you tipped
the blind child who did them.

00:28:39.500 --> 00:28:40.541 align:center
I'm sorry--

00:28:40.625 --> 00:28:43.541 align:center
I'm an honest person, Rachel.
You can be honest with me.

00:28:43.625 --> 00:28:45.583 align:center
There's a lot of bad energy
coming from you,

00:28:45.666 --> 00:28:47.916 align:center
and I think you understand
how important this wedding is

00:28:48.000 --> 00:28:50.750 align:center
to my brother, my mom,
and the rest of our family.

00:28:50.833 --> 00:28:51.875 align:center
Do you?

00:28:52.708 --> 00:28:57.083 align:center
Hmm. Nellie told me all that freak shit
you said last night is true.

00:28:57.166 --> 00:29:00.333 align:center
And I don't even care
if you're carrying a blood-evil curse.

00:29:00.416 --> 00:29:03.500 align:center
Because, regardless, my brother loves you,

00:29:03.583 --> 00:29:05.541 align:center
and I will not let you bail
on this wedding.

00:29:05.625 --> 00:29:07.333 align:center
I was practically left at the altar,

00:29:07.416 --> 00:29:10.541 align:center
so then I married some random guy
in Las Vegas. Don't tell my parents.

00:29:12.791 --> 00:29:15.250 align:center
And I will not let that happen to Nicky.

00:29:15.333 --> 00:29:18.500 align:center
Are you gonna break my brother's heart
and crush my mother's dreams? Be honest.

00:29:20.583 --> 00:29:21.541 align:center
Good.

00:29:22.041 --> 00:29:23.583 align:center
Now, will it kill you to play

00:29:23.666 --> 00:29:27.083 align:center
one fun, normal, sexy
bachelorette party game that I planned

00:29:27.166 --> 00:29:29.166 align:center
before everything is ruined again

00:29:29.250 --> 00:29:31.958 align:center
because of your insistence on being
a gothic nightmare?

00:29:34.875 --> 00:29:35.958 align:center
It will kill you?

00:29:39.333 --> 00:29:40.333 align:center
Rachel.

00:29:40.875 --> 00:29:42.416 align:center
I don't say this lightly.

00:29:42.500 --> 00:29:45.541 align:center
You're really, really, really lucky
to have me.

00:29:46.416 --> 00:29:48.333 align:center
Because I know how to summon the dead.

00:29:50.250 --> 00:29:51.166 align:center
Mm?

00:29:51.750 --> 00:29:52.750 align:center
Mmm.

00:29:58.875 --> 00:30:03.500 align:center
We cleanse this space
to ward off evil spirits.

00:30:05.125 --> 00:30:06.125 align:center
Evil

00:30:07.541 --> 00:30:09.125 align:center
is not welcome here.

00:30:14.250 --> 00:30:17.583 align:center
We are gathered here
on Rachel's final night of freedom

00:30:17.666 --> 00:30:19.250 align:center
to contact…

00:30:20.000 --> 00:30:21.041 align:center
Who?

00:30:21.750 --> 00:30:22.833 align:center
My great-aunt.

00:30:22.916 --> 00:30:26.333 align:center
Right. For marital advice
from the great beyond.

00:30:28.500 --> 00:30:32.291 align:center
Light this candle with your left hand,
the hand connecting you to light.

00:30:35.791 --> 00:30:38.125 align:center
Yes. And then, at the same time--

00:30:38.625 --> 00:30:42.291 align:center
Okay. And then, at the same time,
with your right hand,

00:30:42.375 --> 00:30:44.708 align:center
touch a belonging of the deceased.

00:30:44.791 --> 00:30:46.541 align:center
Right hand towards darkness.

00:30:47.041 --> 00:30:51.208 align:center
This establishes your connection,
and then you'll ask your questions.

00:30:59.791 --> 00:31:01.458 align:center
Arlene Harkin.

00:31:04.208 --> 00:31:08.750 align:center
I'm coming to you to ask for advice
the day before my wedding.

00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:15.083 align:center
I need to know how you knew for certain
that your husband, David, was the one.

00:31:16.875 --> 00:31:18.916 align:center
Now everyone put your hands in.

00:31:33.666 --> 00:31:34.666 align:center
Um…

00:31:35.666 --> 00:31:38.000 align:center
Maybe ask in a different way.

00:31:40.291 --> 00:31:43.041 align:center
-What do you mean, a different way?
-Rachel.

00:31:44.208 --> 00:31:48.375 align:center
Okay. Arlene, if you're there,

00:31:49.791 --> 00:31:52.041 align:center
please tell me how you survived.

00:31:59.250 --> 00:32:01.916 align:center
Maybe just start
with something less intense.

00:32:06.625 --> 00:32:07.833 align:center
Oh my God! It moved!

00:32:07.916 --> 00:32:10.166 align:center
-I thought you'd done this before!
-It never worked before!

00:32:10.250 --> 00:32:13.208 align:center
-What the fuck?
-Okay. What do I do now?

00:32:13.291 --> 00:32:16.375 align:center
-You talk to her.
-Okay. Uh, Arlene…

00:32:18.416 --> 00:32:19.416 align:center
Arlene.

00:32:21.083 --> 00:32:24.083 align:center
How did you survive your wedding day?

00:32:29.083 --> 00:32:30.041 align:center
Ask again.

00:32:31.166 --> 00:32:36.666 align:center
Arlene, how did you know
that David was your soulmate?

00:32:53.958 --> 00:32:56.166 align:center
Oh my God.

00:33:06.125 --> 00:33:07.750 align:center
Oh my God!

00:33:10.333 --> 00:33:14.125 align:center
Oh my God! Something hit me!
Something actually hit me!

00:33:14.208 --> 00:33:16.125 align:center
-Is it bad?
-What the fuck!?

00:33:16.208 --> 00:33:17.875 align:center
No! Not at all!

00:33:17.958 --> 00:33:20.750 align:center
-No, it's totally fine.
-It'll heal one day.

00:33:20.833 --> 00:33:23.041 align:center
Now you have an excuse
to get that nose job.

00:33:23.125 --> 00:33:26.625 align:center
Oh, Nellie! Is there a scar?
Am I gonna have a face scar?

00:33:27.125 --> 00:33:28.291 align:center
-Maybe.
-Fuck!

00:33:29.875 --> 00:33:30.791 align:center
Nell.

00:34:01.541 --> 00:34:03.041 align:center
Oh fuck!

00:34:07.625 --> 00:34:09.083 align:center
I'm sorry, Dad. I…

00:34:16.166 --> 00:34:17.166 align:center
Dad?

00:34:25.708 --> 00:34:26.666 align:center
Hey.

00:34:28.541 --> 00:34:29.500 align:center
Dad?

00:34:31.416 --> 00:34:34.916 align:center
I need to take
some responsibility for last night.

00:34:35.000 --> 00:34:37.416 align:center
No, no. Last night was…

00:34:38.041 --> 00:34:40.166 align:center
It was completely my fault. I mean--

00:34:40.250 --> 00:34:41.458 align:center
Listen.

00:34:42.000 --> 00:34:48.458 align:center
Sometimes it's okay to keep secrets
to protect the ones we love.

00:34:52.583 --> 00:34:54.750 align:center
But your brother does have a point.

00:34:56.833 --> 00:34:57.875 align:center
Oh.

00:34:58.958 --> 00:35:03.166 align:center
Yeah, you…
You heard us talking about that.

00:35:05.416 --> 00:35:06.541 align:center
It's true.

00:35:07.750 --> 00:35:12.541 align:center
Your mother always wanted to protect
you guys from the harsh realities.

00:35:14.958 --> 00:35:17.083 align:center
But I see now what it did to you.

00:35:20.958 --> 00:35:25.291 align:center
It was irresponsible of us
to feed you this perfect story,

00:35:25.375 --> 00:35:28.541 align:center
this high standard of what a marriage is.

00:35:32.916 --> 00:35:33.916 align:center
So…

00:35:36.125 --> 00:35:37.833 align:center
Your mother is a good woman,

00:35:37.916 --> 00:35:42.500 align:center
she is the love of my life,
and she loves you very much.

00:35:43.875 --> 00:35:45.166 align:center
I know that.

00:35:47.000 --> 00:35:50.625 align:center
But our relationship isn't
what you think it is, Nicky.

00:35:54.916 --> 00:35:57.333 align:center
I promised your mother
I would never tell you this,

00:35:57.416 --> 00:35:59.958 align:center
but I see now that you need to know.

00:36:13.333 --> 00:36:16.041 align:center
Arlene, come back.

00:36:16.541 --> 00:36:18.000 align:center
Arlene.

00:36:18.083 --> 00:36:20.708 align:center
What does living dead mean?

00:36:24.833 --> 00:36:26.666 align:center
What does that mean?

00:36:28.833 --> 00:36:30.125 align:center
Please

00:36:31.333 --> 00:36:32.666 align:center
say it.

00:36:47.166 --> 00:36:48.208 align:center
Oh.

00:36:49.291 --> 00:36:50.583 align:center
Jesus Christ!

00:36:50.666 --> 00:36:53.708 align:center
-Trying that again after all that?
-Sorry. Is… is she okay?

00:36:53.791 --> 00:36:57.041 align:center
Yeah, yeah. She's fine.
She's freaking out about the bruising,

00:36:57.125 --> 00:36:59.333 align:center
but I gave her a Klonopin
and put her to bed.

00:37:01.625 --> 00:37:03.291 align:center
You brought one of these in here?

00:37:03.958 --> 00:37:06.416 align:center
It must've been Portia
who left one of those there.

00:37:06.500 --> 00:37:09.708 align:center
I fucking hate it.
It's so creepy. I'm gonna…

00:37:12.000 --> 00:37:13.083 align:center
Just one more time.

00:37:28.708 --> 00:37:30.250 align:center
Are you here?

00:37:55.041 --> 00:37:56.958 align:center
I don't know what to do anymore.

00:37:58.125 --> 00:38:00.041 align:center
I don't know what to do anymore.

00:38:02.583 --> 00:38:03.750 align:center
Something…

00:38:03.833 --> 00:38:08.166 align:center
Something happened back there, and…

00:38:09.291 --> 00:38:10.791 align:center
You have to help me.

00:38:14.041 --> 00:38:15.166 align:center
I…

00:38:17.458 --> 00:38:19.750 align:center
I don't know. Are…

00:38:21.291 --> 00:38:23.375 align:center
…Nicky and I soulmates

00:38:23.458 --> 00:38:27.625 align:center
because we can anticipate
each other's needs most of the time,

00:38:27.708 --> 00:38:33.500 align:center
or… are we not soulmates because

00:38:34.666 --> 00:38:39.375 align:center
he fucking… lied about the plane?

00:38:39.458 --> 00:38:42.125 align:center
He lied about the fucking plane.

00:38:42.791 --> 00:38:43.708 align:center
And…

00:38:45.708 --> 00:38:47.250 align:center
My dad?

00:38:49.583 --> 00:38:51.625 align:center
He invited my dad.

00:38:53.833 --> 00:38:55.250 align:center
Fuck, it's like…

00:38:56.208 --> 00:38:57.791 align:center
Does he even know me?

00:39:00.500 --> 00:39:03.541 align:center
You said you need to believe
that he's your soulmate, right?

00:39:04.083 --> 00:39:05.250 align:center
Yeah.

00:39:06.250 --> 00:39:08.125 align:center
So what would make you believe it?

00:39:08.208 --> 00:39:10.500 align:center
I don't know. I don't know.

00:39:10.583 --> 00:39:11.958 align:center
That's the problem.

00:39:12.041 --> 00:39:17.250 align:center
Okay, so then I genuinely think
all you can do is decide

00:39:17.333 --> 00:39:21.291 align:center
that he's your soulmate, or not,
and then take whatever comes.

00:39:21.375 --> 00:39:23.583 align:center
Whatever comes is…

00:39:24.750 --> 00:39:25.750 align:center
…death.

00:39:27.791 --> 00:39:30.750 align:center
But, you know, if I was you,
I would trust the version of myself

00:39:30.833 --> 00:39:34.250 align:center
that's loved him for three years
and agreed to marry him

00:39:34.333 --> 00:39:37.750 align:center
and not the version who heard about
a soulmate curse five seconds ago.

00:39:38.375 --> 00:39:41.708 align:center
You must have felt seen by him
when you agreed to marry him, right?

00:39:43.208 --> 00:39:44.208 align:center
Yeah?

00:39:45.583 --> 00:39:46.875 align:center
Yeah, I think so.

00:39:46.958 --> 00:39:48.625 align:center
Yes. This…

00:39:48.708 --> 00:39:52.250 align:center
This curse… thing

00:39:52.916 --> 00:39:54.750 align:center
has completely bent your reality.

00:39:54.833 --> 00:39:57.208 align:center
It's… it's totally fucked-up.

00:40:00.541 --> 00:40:02.208 align:center
It's made you doubt everything.

00:40:03.250 --> 00:40:05.125 align:center
And the only way to stop doubt

00:40:05.208 --> 00:40:08.166 align:center
is to make a decision,
and then you'll know.

00:40:08.250 --> 00:40:09.541 align:center
So just

00:40:10.833 --> 00:40:16.125 align:center
fuck this curse,
and go back to reality-reality.

00:40:16.208 --> 00:40:18.083 align:center
-It's your wedding day tomorrow.
-Mmm.

00:40:18.166 --> 00:40:19.000 align:center
Mmm?

00:40:19.083 --> 00:40:21.500 align:center
-It's your bachelorette party tonight.
-Mmm.

00:40:22.166 --> 00:40:24.666 align:center
Wake up tomorrow and decide. Cheers.

00:40:28.500 --> 00:40:30.958 align:center
That's all I get?

00:40:31.041 --> 00:40:31.875 align:center
Cheers.

00:40:32.666 --> 00:40:35.250 align:center
Have to look in the eyes.

00:40:35.333 --> 00:40:37.666 align:center
I did. You were looking away.

00:40:39.125 --> 00:40:41.208 align:center
-It's your last night of freedom.
-Mmm.

00:40:44.041 --> 00:40:45.875 align:center
Do whatever you want with it.

00:40:50.833 --> 00:40:53.750 align:center
And you know, maybe keep it realistic.
We can't, like,

00:40:54.583 --> 00:40:55.583 align:center
I don't know…

00:40:57.583 --> 00:40:58.458 align:center
go skydiving.

00:41:00.875 --> 00:41:03.791 align:center
You know me better than that. I'd never.
What if the parachute didn't open?

00:41:07.125 --> 00:41:09.208 align:center
-Mmm.
-Thank you. Thanks.

00:41:09.291 --> 00:41:11.125 align:center
Jules and I are getting a divorce.

00:41:12.500 --> 00:41:13.625 align:center
What?

00:41:16.250 --> 00:41:17.291 align:center
Mm-hmm.

00:41:17.791 --> 00:41:18.791 align:center
Yeah.

00:41:21.583 --> 00:41:25.333 align:center
Well, planning on it. He hasn't signed
the papers or anything yet.

00:41:27.041 --> 00:41:28.458 align:center
Uh…

00:41:31.416 --> 00:41:32.833 align:center
Don't tell anyone.

00:41:46.333 --> 00:41:47.625 align:center
What?

00:42:25.333 --> 00:42:26.250 align:center
Mom?

00:42:28.458 --> 00:42:29.708 align:center
Mom?

00:42:33.333 --> 00:42:35.083 align:center
Mom.

00:42:36.875 --> 00:42:38.916 align:center
Oh, hi, honey. Come.

00:42:40.041 --> 00:42:41.250 align:center
Come here.

00:42:50.208 --> 00:42:51.541 align:center
Um…

00:42:53.458 --> 00:42:57.041 align:center
I need to know if it's true, Mom.

00:42:59.833 --> 00:43:02.000 align:center
Did you cheat on Dad when I was a kid?

00:43:04.333 --> 00:43:06.041 align:center
Before I was born or something?

00:43:09.125 --> 00:43:10.250 align:center
No.

00:43:12.625 --> 00:43:13.916 align:center
No, honey. It…

00:43:15.666 --> 00:43:19.041 align:center
It… it wasn't… It wasn't like that.

00:43:20.000 --> 00:43:21.250 align:center
Who was it?

00:43:25.916 --> 00:43:27.583 align:center
It wasn't, uh,

00:43:28.708 --> 00:43:30.625 align:center
some cheap thing.

00:43:31.333 --> 00:43:33.333 align:center
I met your dad and Beau
around the same time.

00:43:33.416 --> 00:43:35.958 align:center
I loved them… both.

00:43:36.458 --> 00:43:39.000 align:center
I chose your dad. I… I don't regret that.

00:43:39.083 --> 00:43:42.166 align:center
And then what, you just…
you went back on your word or…

00:43:43.583 --> 00:43:45.000 align:center
I loved Beau too.

00:43:45.083 --> 00:43:48.708 align:center
I don't give a shit about Beau!
Why didn't you tell me?

00:43:48.791 --> 00:43:51.708 align:center
Because it's none
of your fucking business.

00:43:56.416 --> 00:44:00.750 align:center
You let me believe that it's possible
to have a… a 30-year, enduring marriage

00:44:00.833 --> 00:44:02.916 align:center
where you're devoted to one person.

00:44:03.000 --> 00:44:06.583 align:center
But isn't that wonderful? Isn't that
wonderful that you got to believe that?

00:44:06.666 --> 00:44:08.000 align:center
Not if it's not true.

00:44:08.083 --> 00:44:10.250 align:center
It is true. This doesn't change anything.

00:44:10.333 --> 00:44:13.208 align:center
It changes everything that I fucking…

00:44:15.708 --> 00:44:18.333 align:center
What else?
What else are you… are you hiding from me?

00:44:18.416 --> 00:44:22.833 align:center
I'm not… I'm not gonna let you
take this to the grave. I…

00:44:22.916 --> 00:44:24.833 align:center
I don't care about being protected.

00:44:24.916 --> 00:44:29.208 align:center
You… you tell me right now,
everything you've been protecting me from.

00:44:31.500 --> 00:44:32.500 align:center
Mom.

00:44:35.708 --> 00:44:37.000 align:center
Mom.

00:44:39.333 --> 00:44:40.333 align:center
Mom?

00:44:42.916 --> 00:44:47.708 align:center
Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom.

00:45:04.541 --> 00:45:06.333 align:center
-Fuck!
-Oh! What's that?

00:45:06.416 --> 00:45:09.375 align:center
You called me here, didn't you?

00:45:09.458 --> 00:45:12.041 align:center
-Let go!
-What the fuck are you doing?

00:45:12.125 --> 00:45:14.083 align:center
Fuck!

00:45:17.750 --> 00:45:22.375 align:center
-Something living. Something dead.
-Portia, stop!

00:45:23.250 --> 00:45:25.125 align:center
Something stolen.

00:45:28.000 --> 00:45:29.916 align:center
Something red.

00:45:34.000 --> 00:45:37.625 align:center
I took my troubles down to Madam Ruth

00:45:37.708 --> 00:45:41.083 align:center
You know that gypsy
With the gold-capped tooth

00:45:41.166 --> 00:45:43.291 align:center
She's got a pad down…

00:45:43.375 --> 00:45:45.333 align:center
What the fuck did you do to me?

00:45:45.416 --> 00:45:50.416 align:center
Sellin' little bottles
Of Love Potion No. 9

00:45:52.500 --> 00:45:56.416 align:center
I told her
That I was a flop with chicks

00:45:56.500 --> 00:45:59.416 align:center
I'd been that way since 1956

00:45:59.500 --> 00:46:03.416 align:center
She looked at my palm
She made a magic sign

00:46:03.500 --> 00:46:09.416 align:center
She said, "Now, what you need is
Love Potion No. 9"

00:46:10.500 --> 00:46:14.416 align:center
She bent down and turned around
And gave me a wink

00:46:14.500 --> 00:46:18.208 align:center
She said, "I'm gonna mix it up
Right here in the sink"

00:46:18.291 --> 00:46:21.416 align:center
It smelled like turpentine
It looked like Indian ink

00:46:22.000 --> 00:46:24.416 align:center
I held my nose, I closed my eyes

00:46:24.500 --> 00:46:26.250 align:center
I took a drink

00:46:26.333 --> 00:46:29.875 align:center
I didn't know if it was day or night

00:46:29.958 --> 00:46:33.208 align:center
I started kissin' everything in sight

00:46:33.291 --> 00:46:37.250 align:center
But when I kissed a cop
Down at 34th and Vine

00:46:37.333 --> 00:46:43.166 align:center
He broke my little bottle
Of Love Potion No. 9

00:46:55.500 --> 00:46:57.958 align:center
I held my nose, I closed my eyes

00:46:58.041 --> 00:46:59.625 align:center
I took a drink

00:46:59.708 --> 00:47:03.333 align:center
I didn't know if it was day or night

00:47:03.416 --> 00:47:06.333 align:center
I started kissin' everything in sight

00:47:06.416 --> 00:47:10.375 align:center
But when I kissed a cop
Down at 34th and Vine

00:47:10.458 --> 00:47:16.666 align:center
He broke my little bottle
Of Love Potion No. 9

00:47:16.750 --> 00:47:20.458 align:center
Love Potion No. 9

00:47:20.541 --> 00:47:21.958 align:center
Love Potion No. 9
bottle
Of Love Potion No. 9