[WWE signature intro playing]
[music fades]
-[crowd chatter] -[grunting]
[crowd booing]
Agh!
[Triple H grunting]
-[X-Pac grunting] -[Patterson groaning]
Patterson, you tell him.
You tell McMahon…
You tell McMahon he's making this too personal, you got it?
Agh!
[D-Generation X laughing]
["Everybody on the Ground" playing]
[explosive booms]
[crowd cheering]
[Cole] A very volatile, extremely serious situation has developed
as we kick off WWE SmackDown from Cincinnati on UPN.
Michael Cole, Jerry "The King" Lawler at ringside.
And King, we just looked on in shock
as DX was beating up McMahon's associates, Patterson and Brisco.
[Lawler] Well, they're obviously-- DX is trying to send a message
to Vince McMahon personally.
[Slaughter] Vince, Vince, Vince, come with me right away.
DX beat up Brisco and Patterson real bad.
-They're hurt real bad. -What?
Up in your office. Come. Hurry.
Patterson and Brisco?
-[Slaughter] Brisco and Patterson. -Aw sh…
DX, it sounded real bad.
Go.
[crowd chatter]
[Vince] Where?
Where?
In your office.
[Vince] Where? Tell us, Sarge.
-[Slaughter] Right here. -[Vince] Okay.
Where?
Right here. The EMT rolling… right here.
Oh man.
[Vince] Oh, God. No. No!
What the hell happened? Son of a bitch!
-DX. -Who?
-DX. -DX?
[Vince] That son of a bitch, Triple H.
-DX… -Huh?
Pat, you all right?
-Oh… -Can you get him up?
-Pat, you gonna be all right? -I don't know.
What's he got, bloody nose? What is that?
Come on, get him up, get him up, get him up.
-You all right, Pat? -Come on, Pat.
-Pat, come on. -Get him a chair.
It's right back here. Lie him back here.
-Ow. -All right.
Gerald, can you get up? Gerald?
Right in the mouth, the bastard. [groans]
-Sit on the couch. -Where's most of your pain?
You know the situation.
-Pat, is it broken? -What?
They sent a message. They sent a message, Mr. McMahon.
-Sent a message? -That it's way too personal, Mr. McMahon.
-Oh. -What's too personal?
You're taking it too personal, Mr. McMahon.
I'm taking this too personal?
-They do this to you? -Oh.
-You get me that son of bitch. -Yes, sir.
I want Triple H to come right back here.
-I want him right back here. -[crowd roaring]
-[Cole] Oh boy, oh boy, King. -♪ You think you know me ♪
[up-tempo music plays]
You cannot like what we've seen so far here on SmackDown tonight.
Vince McMahon demanding Triple H in his office, right now.
[Lawler] Whaddaya mean you can't like it? I love it. This is gonna be great!
[Cole] We're kicking off SmackDown with a big question.
[announcer] …following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall.
In the ring from Toronto, Canada, weighing in at 455 pounds,
Edge and Christian.
[Cole] King, this personal war
between Vince and Triple H has reached a new level.
Triple H has upped the ante tonight.
[music fades]
[Lawler] I can't wait, Michael. This is-- this is gonna-- this is…
-This is gonna be explosive. -[funky music playing]
[announcer] And their opponents, at a combined weight of 438 pounds,
Scotty 2 Hotty and Grandmaster Sexay,
-Too Cool. -♪ You look fly today ♪
[Cole] Folks, tell you what,
this is gonna be a tremendous tag team matchup.
Too Cool set to take on Edge and Christian right here from Cincinnati.
WWE SmackDown on UPN.
But this personal war between Vince McMahon and Triple H
really has gotten out of control, King.
[Lawler] That's the way I like things.
I like things out of control. What do you think is gonna happen?
I mean, Vince McMahon, now, after he saw what happened to the stooges,
he's inviting… he wants… he's sending after DX?
What's he gonna do with them if they come?
[Cole] Well, King, you were out here at ringside for Raw Monday night.
Vince McMahon doing color commentary for Triple H's match against Kane.
We'll tell you about that in just a second.
It's like this.
We's right, we's wrong…
-[Cole] What? -…we's white, we's strong…
We's is Too Cool!
[Lawler] I'll translate. I speak Ebonics.
-What they're saying is… -Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
[Lawler] …you don't understand because you're not cool.
I am the Grandmaster Sexay.
And if you don't know me,
you ain't my homey. [laughs]
You phat with that, G?
We are the originators, the innovators,
the masturba-- oh…
percolators of cool.
[Lawler] You know what a homey is, Michael?
And we're about to get crunk up on you mofos.
[Lawler laughs] I know you know what a mofo… You a mofo, Michael.
[Cole] I'll tell you. Scott Taylor and Brian Christopher
having a serious identity crisis here.
-What do you mean, "identity crisis"? -[Cole] I'm sorry.
Grandmaster Sexay and Scotty 2 Hotty.
And it'll be Scotty 2 Hotty to start things off against Christian.
[Lawler] You just can't relate to anybody that's cool, Michael.
[Cole] I don't consider these guys cool, at least the way that I look at it, King.
And Taylor now locks up with Christian in the center of the ring.
We were talking about Monday Night on Raw, Vince doing color commentary
during Triple H's match against Kane.
Triple H came out, pushing Vince down into his chair,
and then Vince got involved in the matchup.
[Lawler] Well, let's face it, Vince screwed Triple H at Survivor Series.
Plain and simple. Vince even admitted it.
Now you got to pay the price.
You don't screw The Game and get away with it.
[Cole] It's an extremely personal issue. Perhaps too personal.
You heard Triple H say it was too personal as we kicked off SmackDown this evening.
And look at Scotty 2 Hotty. Tremendous balance,
but he pays for it with a dropkick to the face by Christian.
Nice arm drag takedown.
Edge and Christian and the team of Too Cool,
two of the top contenders of the tag team division.
Later on tonight, Tag Team Titles will be on the line.
The New Age Outlaws in action defending against the Hardys.
Here's the double-team now. Edge and Christian…
-[Lawler] Watch the scoop. -[Cole] Oh my!
[Lawler] Not-so-Hotty, Scotty.
Get up.
[Cole] Edge with a right hand to Scotty 2 Hotty,
whips him across the ring into the corner,
up over the top of Edge, kick to the midsection.
And there's a right hand by Scotty 2 Hotty.
[Lawler] Right. And please refer to him correctly.
-Now, who's this coming in right now? -If I suck, you swallow!
[Cole] And Grandmaster Sexay now doing a little dance in the ring
as Scotty 2 Hotty holds Edge, and there's the shot to the gut.
Also tonight, the WWE Title on the line.
The Big Show defending against Hardcore Holly.
[Lawler] Great. Another super heavyweight. What a match that's gonna be.
[Cole] And The Rock has demanded a rematch with the Big Boss Man.
-[Lawler] The Rock's gonna be here. -[Cole] You'll see that tonight.
Double-team now by Too Cool. Edge lands on his feet.
-[Lawler] Oh! Look out, guys! -[Cole] Oh my!
Too Cool doing too much celebrating and paid for it.
[Lawler] Definitely not cool.
[Cole] Edge moving Grandmaster Sexay into the corner.
And Sexay now hammering away.
[Lawler] Uh-oh, watch yourself.
[Cole] Whipped across the ring, into the corner.
[Sexay grunts, laughs maniacally]
Tremendous balance by Edge on the apron,
knocks Grand Master Sexay down. Now he's gonna climb the rope.
[Lawler] I think he knocked him right off his back. Watch out.
[Cole] Missile dropkick from the top rope by Edge.
Into the cover now. First cover of the matchup.
Two kickout by Christopher.
[Lawler] Grandmaster Sexay almost OG'd…
over goaled.
There you go. Now you got him.
-[Cole] Edge tossed out of the ring. -[crowd hollering]
And Sexay calling for some help from Scotty 2 Hotty.
[Lawler] Uh-oh, what's this gonna be?
-[Cole] Oh my. -[Lawler] That's it.
[Cole] Hey, why is Grandmaster Sexay wearing that durag, King?
[Lawler] What do you mean? Get with it, Michael.
This is… this is 1999, man.
[Cole] He's got as much hair as you do.
And Edge tossed back in the ring.
Grandmaster Sexay gonna climb the top ropes.
I told you so. [laughs maniacally]
[Cole] Man, what annoying laugh. Paid for that one.
[Lawler] Oh no. You saw what Too Cool did to Edge though.
What do you think… what do you think Vince McMahon
is gonna do to DX if they come back to his office?
[Cole] I have no earthly idea, but it's not gonna be pretty.
You saw what DX did to Patterson and Brisco
as we kicked off SmackDown here tonight.
[Lawler] Right. Well, that wasn't pretty. That was not pretty.
Do you think for one minute that-- Oh!
…that Vince McMahon can do that to Triple H?
[Cole] And here comes Christian up over the top, misses Grand Master Sexay.
[Lawler] Crash landing there.
[Cole] And Triple H telling Patterson and Brisco,
"Give Vince McMahon this message. It's getting too personal."
Oh my! Tremendous double-DDT by Christian.
Hooks into the cover. Hooks the leg.
Almost a three-count,
but a kickout by Scotty 2 Hotty.
And Edge with a clothesline. Sexay up over the top rope.
Christian now taking advantage. Here's the reversal.
Scotty 2 Hotty, Christian wraps him up.
-[Scotty yelping] -[Lawler] Look at Scotty.
[Cole] Oh, look out. Face-first. Center of the ring, face-first.
-[Lawler] That's it. -[Cole] Christian into the cover.
-Referee's outside the ring. -[Lawler] There's Grandmaster.
[Cole] No referee to count… Grandmaster Sexay,
with a leg across the back of the head, rolls Scotty 2 Hotty over.
-[Lawler] That was beautiful. What? -[Cole] Referee never saw it.
And Too Cool steals one.
-[bell ringing] -[funky music plays]
-[Lawler] What about that? -[Cole] What about it? They stole it.
-[announcer] …Too Cool! -[Lawler] Oh, come on.
They're too cool, they're too smart, they're too good.
[Cole] Christian had Scotty 2 Hotty defeated,
referee was outside the ring,
and Grandmaster Sexay delivered a leg drop from the top rope,
and Edge and Christian are gonna make 'em pay for it.
[Lawler] A couple of sore losers, backbiters.
-[bell ringing] -Look out there… Oh!
[crowd cheering]
[Cole] Grandmaster Sexay may not look too sexay
after going face-first into the mat.
[Lawler] He still looks like a winner, if you ask me.
[up-tempo music playing]
They didn't hurt his teeth.
[Cole] SmackDown is off to a roaring start here on UPN.
Too Cool pick up the victory, and here's what happened.
[Lawler] Grandmaster Sexay flying through the air with the greatest of ease…
and you get a one, two, three.
[Cole] Rolling Scotty 2 Hotty over. Referee never saw it.
Too Cool picks up the win in this one.
Still to come tonight, King, rematch from Raw Monday night.
[Lawler] The Rock plans to layeth the smackdown on the Big Boss Man.
[Cole] What a war that's gonna be. It was a war on Raw.
It could get severely out of control here tonight on SmackDown.
-[Lawler] Oh, wait a minute. -Vince.
-[Lawler] Now what?
Vince, Vince, I talked to Hunter.
He said he refuses to come down here and demands that you go to him.
-What? -That's what he said.
Then you tell him… I'll be right there.
You sure?
[announcer] And now, the WWE Slam of the Week
presented by THQ's WWE WrestleMania 2000 for Nintendo 64,
the most electrifying game in the history of sports entertainment.
[Ross] Triple H just piefaced the chairman of this company.
[Lawler] Uh-oh. Wait a minute, Vince. I wouldn't go up there.
-[Ross] McMahon's in the ring. -Not a good idea.
[Ross] McMahon's in the ring, quick with the right hand,
Helmsley blocked it, and there's a knockdown.
[bell ringing]
I don't think…
I won't be needing that anytime soon.
Well…
[indiscernible chatter]
I don't think I need to knock.
No, I don't think so.
Oh, by the way, allow me to remind you of something.
No longer are you the World Wrestling Entertainment Champion.
You're no longer a champion. You're a chump. Stand up.
Let me tell you something.
What you just did… You guys are real brave, aren't you, huh?
You're real brave beating up Patterson and Brisco.
Wow. Real brave, DX. That crap is gonna stop.
There's not gonna be any more of it. Not tonight, not any night.
You got it?
I told you, don't make this personal.
And I will say it again, do not make this personal.
-[Vince] It already is. -["Medal" playing]
[Cole] Oh boy. Stern warning from Vince McMahon to Triple H.
[Lawler] But what about the warning from Triple H to Vince McMahon,
"Don't make this personal."
Can't make it any plainer.
[Cole] Uneasy feeling about what's going on back there
as the Olympic gold medalist, Kurt Angle, makes his way to the ring.
[announcer] …scheduled for one fall.
Making his way to the ring, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania,
weighing in at 237 pounds,
he's the only gold medalist to grace the World Wrestling Entertainment ring,
and the only real athlete
in World Wrestling Entertainment, Kurt Angle.
[Lawler] Let's talk about your feeling, Michael.
You may have an uneasy feeling. I got a definite strong feeling
that something real bad is gonna happen tonight.
[Cole] Here's Kurt Angle, the man who had his official debut
at Survivor Series on Sunday.
He was basically booed out of the building and then booed in his hometown on Monday.
[Lawler] What is up with that? I just-- I don't get it.
[brooding music playing]
Olympic gold medalist, why would you boo the guy?
[Cole] I don't know. I mean, you know, he's a bit cocky,
but he's extremely confident in the ring.
[Lawler] I'm not even seeing him trying to be cocky.
[Cole] Uh, extremely confident in the ring as well.
[Lawler] He's a gold medalist.
[announcer] …being accompanied to the ring by Luna,
he weighs in at 250 pounds,
Gangrel.
[Cole] King, we first saw this couple together on Raw Monday night.
I guess Luna's got a soft spot in her heart for Gangrel.
[Lawler] I guess love's in the air these days.
[Cole] Luna said she's found that special person,
referring, of course, to Gangrel. And this should be a neat matchup.
Gangrel's set to take on the Olympic gold medalist, Kurt Angle.
But something definitely bad is brewing in the back.
[Lawler] What about when Luna met up with Stephanie and Test,
and Luna gave Stephanie a little engagement present.
Because somebody had told her that Stephanie liked stuffed animals,
Luna went out and found a mangy squirrel,
a real squirrel, and added stuff.
-[Lawler laughs] -[Cole] King, the thought that counts.
-[Lawler] Hey, wait a minute. -[Cole] What?
[Lawler] Look at this guy over here. This is that same idiot
that was at Raw Monday night.
He's carrying around these signs.
There he is, right there. Look.
[Cole] "WWE is immoral"?
[Lawler] He had a sign that said, "Worldwide Filth."
The guy was on Raw Monday. He's an idiot.
[Cole] He got thrown out of Raw on Monday.
He actually went over the barricade and was arrested.
And anybody that crosses the barricade's gonna be arrested.
You know, King, we appreciate… Look at Kurt Angle.
Nice takedown on Gangrel.
…we appreciate the freedom of expression here in World Wrestling Entertainment.
[Gangrel groans]
Bring your signs, cheer, boo, exhibit your feelings.
[Lawler] No, I don't like all signs. You can't just have any kind of sign.
[Cole] I mean, exhibit your feelings, work hard on those signs,
bring them out here to the events.
But once you cross that barricade and you get into the action,
then you're subject to arrest.
And that's what's happened to that gentleman on Raw Monday night.
-He was arrested. -[Lawler] Why would he be back here again?
Watch yourself, Luna.
-What's he gonna do? -[man] You're trailer trash!
How could you people sit here and degrade me?
[crowd booing loudly]
[Lawler] I gotta agree with him. I don't… I don't get it.
You mean to tell me
that you would prefer to cheer for a man
who looks like a vampire?
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] This guy's legit. Angle--
Kurt Angle is legit. He's like a… He's like a war hero.
And I don't even know what that is.
-[Lawler] Talking about Luna. -[Cole] That's Luna.
[Lawler] Man, what is that?
You'd rather cheer for him than me, Kurt Angle, the Olympic gold medalist.
[crowd booing]
An American hero. I'm an American hero.
-[Lawler] Can you argue with that? -[Cole] No, you can't.
I am the WWE's most celebrated real athlete.
-[crowd booing] -[man] You suck! You suck!
[Cole] Well, Kurt Angle, I don't think he, uh…
he's not as popular as he thought he was gonna be
when he debuted at World Wrestling Entertainment.
[Lawler] Kurt, I gotta tell you, pal. Sometimes, people just don't get it.
Look at this. Oh!
[Cole] Gangrel hung him on the top rope, and Gangrel in control of Kurt Angle.
[Lawler] Yeah, look at Gangrel.
I mean, the people are cheering for Gangrel and they're gonna boo…
Just look at… How nice-looking is Kurt Angle?
[Cole] Gangrel elbow to the sternum. Here's a hook of the leg, cover.
There's two. Kickout by Angle.
[Lawler] I can understand, Michael,
if we were in, like, in Bulgaria or Transylvania or something,
but we're in Cincinnati, for goodness' sake.
[Cole] Oh my!
Kurt Angle, tremendous suplex, backs Gangrel to the ropes.
Whips him off the ropes again. Oh, nice slam by Angle.
[Lawler] This is Cincinnati, home of Pete Rose and Marge Schott.
I mean, great, true Americans.
[Cole] What?
[Lawler] I mean, how could they boo Kurt Angle?
[Cole] Angle whipped into the ropes. Gangrel tried to take advantage.
Angle lifts him up, tosses him over.
-Hooks the leg. Here's the cover now. -One, two, three!
-[bell ringing] -[Cole] It's over.
Kurt Angle picks up the win over Gangrel.
[announcer] Here is your winner, Kurt Angle.
[Cole] There's some of that intensity that Kurt Angle preaches about.
[Lawler] And there's Luna. He's right about her.
How many Peeping Toms has she cured?
[Cole] And the fans of Cincinnati continue to boo the Olympic gold medalist
-Kurt Angle here on SmackDown. -[Lawler] I don't get it. Why? How?
This guy's great.
-[Test] Boom. -Andrew, pay attention.
This is our first wedding present.
Well, except for Luna's.
Hold on, sweetheart. Well, we'll see.
[laughs] Well, hopefully, this one will be better.
[packaging rips]
-Andrew! -Ooh, yeah.
Oh, come on. Give me a sec.
What?
Oh, wow. Look.
-It's a bowl. -A bow-- Oh, yeah.
I'll hit you in the head with this if you don't pay attention.
Steph, I am.
It's just… I'm just playing my video game right now.
[Lawler] Stephanie and Test are getting all kinds of gifts.
[Cole] Well, there's DX.
Oh, what the hell are they up to now?
Hasn't Triple H and company done enough already here tonight on SmackDown?
[Cole] Well, we're back on.
More wedding gifts, King.
[Lawler] That could be the only good thing about getting married.
[Cole] Hey, Test is playing that new WrestleMania 2000 game.
[Lawler] He could care less about those gifts, huh?
-Look at this. -A frog? All right.
[Lawler] Another stuffed animal. [laughs]
"Your gift's waiting in the limo, so hop to it."
Huh?
-I'm gonna get the gift. -Oh, wait, wait, wait. No, no, no.
It's freezing. It's freezing. I'll go get it. Stay there.
-Are you sure? -Yeah, yeah.
You sure? I don't want to interrupt your game.
Don't worry. It better be better than a bowl, though.
Oh.
Thank you.
[Cole] What could the gifts be waiting for him outside?
[Lawler] Oh, toaster, I guess. That's the typical wedding gift.
-[Cole] A toaster? -[Lawler] Yeah. [laughs]
Toaster on wheels, that's it. I guarantee you.
-[Cole] What? A toaster? -[Lawler] You know, let's face it.
It's probably from, uh… Big Daddy Vince.
Probably a brand new car,
brand new limousine or something like that.
-[Cole] That'd be some wedding gift, huh? -[Lawler] Yeah, wouldn't it?
It must be nice.
[Cole] Of course, folks, the wedding is right around the corner.
-Wait a minute! -[crowd booing]
-[Lawler] Look at this! -[Cole] Who is that?
-Is that Mr. Ass? -[Lawler] Yes.
[Cole] Mr. Ass attacking Test and… there's Triple H.
-[Triple H taunting indistinctly] -[Test grunting]
[Cole] DX has ambushed Test in the parking lot.
[Lawler] You knew something like this was gonna happen. Oh my God.
[Cole] DX is mugging Test.
[Lawler] Look out.
[Cole] This is an all-out assault on Test. DX set Test up.
[Lawler] I knew this was gonna happen. You can't mess with DX.
-[loud thud] -[Cole] Oh man!
[Cole] DX set Test up.
[Lawler] Yeah, Test. Vince McMahon's future son-in-law.
[Cole] It's a four-on-one, a mugging…
-in the parking lot here in Cincinnati. -[Lawler] Look at this.
-[Cole] What are they doing now? -[Lawler] We've seen this before.
Go get him, Billy.
Oh, my God.
[indistinct chatter]
[Cole] Test is locked in the trunk of that car and…
Wait, that's Billy Gunn.
-Where the hell is he going? -Have a nice ride.
[mock singing] ♪ Happy anniversary, happy anniversary ♪
[indistinct mocking, laughter]
Whew! What a rush.
[Lawler] Oh my gosh. You wonder if Stephanie saw.
Let me tell you something, Michael. This is another message…
-Hope that wasn't too personal for him. -[Lawler] …message to Vince McMahon.
-Boy… -♪ Come get on the ho train ♪
-[funky music playing] -[crowd cheering]
[Cole] I'll tell you what, King, DX has really upped the ante here tonight.
First, they attacked McMahon's associates, Patterson and Brisco.
And now, McMahon's soon-to-be son-in-law, Test.
[Lawler] I can't believe what we just saw, but I'll tell you what…
[crowd booing]
…this is the only thing that could take my mind off what we just saw,
and now The Godfather is getting booed like Kurt Angle.
-[Cole] You know why he's getting booed. -[Lawler] Why?
-[cheering] -[Cole] Here come the cheers.
The ladies are in the house, finally.
[Lawler laughing] They thought The Godfather had forgot the hoes? No way.
[Cole] You know what he says, King. It ain't easy.
[announcer] The following contest is scheduled for one fall,
and it is for the World Wrestling Entertainment European Championship.
Introducing first, the challenger,
from the red-light district, weighting in at 320 pounds,
The Godfather.
[Lawler] Oh baby, Michael.
Oh yes, right there. That was right there.
[Cole] Well, it ain't easy, but it sure looks like fun.
[Lawler] I think I wanna see if I can get the members' franchise for this,
but I just fell in love right there.
And I'm glad that love is blind,
'cause that way you get to feel your way around.
[Cole] The Godfather is fun-loving, and he likes to have a blast.
And they're enjoying him here in Cincinnati on SmackDown.
[Lawler gasps]
[Lawler] That one right… oh yeah. Those.
-[music fades] -[crowd cheering]
[dogs barking, sinister music playing]
[Lawler] Get the one in the black skirt to come over here.
She could sit on my lap and we just talk about the…
[announcer] And his opponent. From Manchester, England,
weighing in at 250 pounds,
he is the World Wrestling Entertainment European Champion,
The British Bulldog.
[Cole] So the European Title on the line… the line tonight.
The Bulldog against The Godfather.
I cannot believe, King, DX has struck again.
In fact, they've kidnapped Test, threw him in the trunk of a car,
and Billy Gunn took off somewhere with him.
[Lawler] Have you found out if Stephanie saw that or not?
-She knows what's happened? -[Cole] I am not sure.
[Lawler] Get to work back there. What are you doing?
[Cole] The Bulldog against The Godfather here on SmackDown.
[Lawler] Don't come over that rail, pal.
Not only will you get arrested, you get smashed to smithereens.
Look at The Bulldog.
[Godfather] Hey, you know last time,
I tried to do the right thing and I offered you these hoes,
I turned my back and you jumped me.
-[Lawler] I remember that. -[Cole] He did.
Okay. Well, listen up.
There's gonna be a spanking tonight.
It's when you go back to your hotel room,
you're gonna be spanking your monkey.
-[crowd cheers] -[Lawler] That means no hoes.
[Cole] And here we go. Godfather right hands to The Bulldog.
European Title on the line in this one.
[Lawler] He offered bulldog no ho.
[Cole] Bulldog whipped across the corner.
Here we go again, and Godfather follows it up with a big clothesline.
And The Godfather misses with the leg drop as The Bulldog rolls out of the way.
What a night already on SmackDown.
DX is really taking this issue with Vince McMahon to a new level.
Not only have Mr. McMahon's associates, Patterson and Brisco, been attacked,
but now Test, Mr. McMahon's soon-to-be son-in-law,
has been kidnapped.
First assaulted and then tossed to the trunk of a car by D-Generation X.
[Lawler] Hold it now. That's pretty heavy to say about kidnapping.
-[crowd booing] -Uh-oh, look at this.
[Cole] What else would you call it? As the Mean Street Posse,
The Bulldog's new running buddies,
make their way down to the ring, and this can't be good news for The Godfather.
[Lawler] You can't say the word "kidnap." I just say he went for a… maybe a…
-[Cole] A joyride? -[Lawler] Unwanted ride.
Hey, look at this! Look at this! We got money changing hands.
[Cole] A little transaction for Joey Abs, Rodney, and Gas of the Posse.
[Lawler] They're gonna table dance without the table, what about it?
[Cole] Godfather with a boot to the face and a clothesline to The Bulldog.
[Lawler] I'm gonna tell you something. I don't think The Godfather
is gonna be too happy about this, 'cause he didn't authorize these dances.
-His girls are freelancing. -[Cole] Look at Pete Gas enjoying himself.
-[crowd cheering] -[Lawler] Man. Yeah, look at this.
I knew this was gonna happen. What's up?
[Cole] The Godfather checking it out. He's gonna go, uh… see what's going on.
[Lawler] He's got take care of business.
-Hey! -[crowd cheering]
What is this?
-[Cole] There's that idiot again. -[Lawler] That same goof.
[Cole] King, he distracted The Godfather… Oh my!
And Pete Gas with a clothesline.
[Lawler] Look at this.
[Cole] And security now has a hold of that fan
as the posse are doing a number on The Godfather.
Oh! Rodney from the apron with a splash.
[Lawler] Hey, ref, how about, uh, turning around?
[Cole] That overzealous fan once again has been escorted from the area, King.
[Lawler] Escorted? He needs to be put under the jail.
[Cole] Well, yeah. I'm sure he'll be taken care of.
-[Lawler] Now, look at this. -[Cole] Oh!
British Bulldog slams The Godfather down, hooks the leg…
-and retains The European Championship. -[bell ringing]
[dog barking theme plays]
[Lawler] Can't believe the girls were doing business on their own.
They went into business for themselves. And now look, they're get--
[announcer] …The British Bulldog.
[Cole] Well, King, again, that overzealous fan
playing games with The Godfather.
The Godfather distracted, the Posse, three-on-one against him
as The Bulldog distracted the referee.
[Lawler] And the Posse took the cheese back.
[Cole] And The Bulldog picks up the victory, retains the European Title.
We gotta take another look at that fan getting in the way here.
[Lawler] Well, let's get it straight. This guy is not a fan.
-He's an idiot. -[crowd cheering]
[Cole] And here's the Posse's attack after the fan distracted The Godfather.
Pete Gas, Rodney, and Joey Abs did a number on The Godfather.
It's three-on-one by the Posse.
[indistinct yelling]
[Vince] I want him back here, or I'm calling the cops.
I don't care.
[indistinct yelling]
[Stephanie] Where is he, where is he?!
[indistinct yelling]
Stephanie! Get her outta here!
[indistinct yelling]
Dammit, I'm calling the cops.
I'm calling the cops!
You better keep her off me, or I'll beat her ass too.
-[groovy music] -[announcer] And now, the WWE
Boot of the Week, brought to you by Lugz.
Tough boots built for the city.
That's Lugz.
-[Lawler] No! -[Ross] Pete… What is Pete Gas thinking?
-[Lawler] He's trying to make the Saints. -[Ross] Oh my!
Five-hundred-pound chokeslam, then Joey Abs in.
-[bell ringing] -Oh, what a chokeslam!
Pumping velocity, unbelievable elevation.
[Lawler] And if this guy, The Big Show, gets his mind right there,
I don't know who could beat him.
[announcer] That was the WWE Boot of the Week, brought to you by Lugz.
Boots and jeans with attitude.
Lugz. Decide and conquer.
[Viscera] Mm, mm, mm.
-Hey, Tori, what's up? -[crowd booing]
-You're looking good. -Thanks.
-I mean, you're looking real good. -Thanks.
Hey, listen, I heard what that little punk, X-Pac, did to you.
Baby, Viscera would never hurt a single hair
on that pretty body of yours.
-Good. -Hey, listen.
You see X-Pac over there?
Now, see, he's a little guy.
But me…
I'm a big guy.
-You know what I'm saying? -[grunting]
-[Lawler] Oh! -[Cole] Well, there's Kane.
[Tori] It's all right, Kane!
[Cole] Tori's boyfriend taking exception with the fact Viscera made a pass on her.
[Lawler] What's up with this? Come on, look. Can't you even talk to her?
-[rock music playing] -What's wrong with Kane?
[Cole] I think Big Viscera's messing with the wrong woman.
[Lawler] Please, he just gave her some compliments.
-[Cole] He made a pass at her compliments. -[bell ringing]
[announcer] The following contest is scheduled for one fall,
and it is for the World Wrestling Entertainment Championship.
Introducing first, the challenger, being accompanied by Crash Holly,
from Mobile, Alabama,
he weighs in at allegedly well over 400 pounds,
Hardcore Holly.
[Cole] What a tremendous opportunity for Hardcore Holly.
WWE Title is on the line here on SmackDown.
Well, tonight's SmackDown is brought to you
by THQ's WrestleMania 2000 for Nintendo 64,
the most electrifying game in the history of sports entertainment.
It's available tomorrow.
[Lawler] And by WWE The Music: Volume 4.
Get the latest and greatest official WWE Superstar entrance themes,
now available at all NRM Music locations.
[Cole] And brought to you by LEGO Mindstorms. Robots you control.
-[Lawler] Oh, yeah! -[music fades]
♪ Well ♪
-♪ Well, it's the Big Show ♪ -["Big" playing]
[Lawler] The Big Show…
-[announcer] And his opponent… -[Lawler] …is the WWE Champion!
[announcer] …he weighs in at 500 pounds.
He is the World Wrestling Entertainment Champion, The Big Show.
[Lawler] And Hardcore Holly putting the bad mouth on him.
[Cole] Well, The Big Show is seven-foot-two, 500 pounds.
He won the World Wrestling Entertainment Championship at Survivor Series.
But King, based on what we've already seen here tonight,
D-Generation X attacking Pat Patterson and Gerry Brisco,
attacking and then kidnapping Mr. McMahon's soon-to-be son-in-law, Test,
and then… Stephanie McMahon jumping on Triple H after an argument in the back…
Hardcore Holly may actually have a chance to win this thing tonight.
By hook or by crook, he can pull it off.
[Lawler] Well, let's just… let's just… as long as you're recapping things,
let's explain why The Big Show is the WWE Champion right now.
Because Vince McMahon screwed Triple H
-at Survivor Series. -[bell ringing]
[Cole] And that's what Triple H meant
when he said that Vince McMahon was making this extremely personal.
And the champion, The Big Show, hammering away on Hardcore Holly.
You know, a little bit later on at SmackDown, King,
we're gonna update on the ongoing investigation
into that hit-and-run accident on "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
[Lawler] Well, you're right.
Investigators are still working
and trying to find out exactly who was driving the car
that ran down Steve Austin at Survivor Series.
And I certainly have my-- I have my opinion as to who was driving that car.
[Cole] Well, investigators have termed it "attempted vehicular homicide."
[Lawler] Look at this!
[Cole] And look at this. Crash Holly now. This is… and The Big Show…
one hand each knocking the Holly Cousins down,
and Hardcore Holly is gonna pay for that double-team
with a boot to the midsection.
[Lawler] I don't understand why anybody would ever wanna infuriate this guy.
Hey, Crash, what are you doing?
[Cole] And look at this.
A Holly sandwich coming up,
-and The Big Show's the mustard. Oh man! -[Lawler] Ooh.
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] I mean, these--
[Cole] Again, a quarter of a ton into the Holly Cousins.
[Lawler] These Hollys must not have super heavyweight brains to do this.
[Cole] King, we understand that Vince McMahon has called the police,
-and police officers are on their way… -[Lawler] Oh no. You're kidding.
-[Cole] …to the arena. -[crowd cheering]
Vince called the cops after DX basically kidnapped Test.
Chokeslam time. Oh man!
The champion plants Hardcore Holly,
-and Crash, from behind… -[Lawler] Look at this!
[Cole] …still can't break up the three-count,
and The Big Show remains champion.
-["Big" playing] -[Lawler] Look at The Big Show.
He just got right up with that super heavyweight
on his back like he was a fly.
-[music fades] -What…
[Cole] The Big Show knocked him off like a fly.
-Call him the flyswatter. -[Lawler] Crash.
[crowd cheering]
[Cole] And Crash is going to go for a major league ride.
Oh!
One arm by The Big Show.
[Lawler] The Big Show's hand is as big as Crash's head.
[crowd chatter]
-Oh, wait, look at this! -[Cole] Hey, the Boss Man.
The Number One Contender for the WWE Title
is assaulting the champion with a nightstick.
[crowd booing]
The Boss Man.
[Lawler] I think I heard The Big Show's ribs crack,
now his head got cracked.
[Cole] The Boss Man, the Number One Contender after defeating The Rock,
thanks to Prince Albert on Raw,
but what a cowardly hit-and-run attack by the Boss Man.
["Cell Block" playing]
[Lawler] Uh-oh, look out.
[Cole] A blindside attack by the Boss Man on The Big Show.
[Lawler] Careful how you talk about the Boss Man.
He's the Number One Contender for the WWE Title.
[Cole] Yeah, but he's gonna meet The Rock a bit later on tonight here on SmackDown.
[Lawler] Wait a minute. What's this?
[Vince] Come on. Let's go.
-[Shane] Get him inside. Come on, easy. -[Test] I'm fine. Fine.
[Vince] You guys help him. Come on, help him.
-Shane-O, come over here. -Go inside. I got. Steph, heads up.
I'm fine, I'm fine.
-You're not fine. They broke it again. -Jeez. Ah, f--
Come on, let's go inside.
-[Test grunting] -[Slaughter] Let me get the door.
Come on, at least we got him back.
We got him back.
Help him out, help him out.
Look at your face… Man!
-I don't believe this. -I don't know.
I think he needs to go to the hospital.
-What about an ambulance? -I'm fine.
There's no way I'm going to the hospital. Not giving those pricks any satisfaction.
-He's so stubborn. -It's fine. Don't worry.
I'm gonna get security to make sure this doesn't happen anymore…
ever, much less tonight.
Let me see.
-I think it's all right. He'll be fine. -Just clean him up.
Just clean it up. It'll be fine.
-["Big Vis" playing] -[Lawler] Well, Michael, the, uh…
McMahons may be all back together again,
but I just got a feeling they haven't weathered the storm yet tonight.
-[Cole] Speaking about weather and storms… -[bell rings]
…here comes the Big Vis.
[announcer] The following contest is scheduled for one fall.
Making his way to the ring, he weighs in at 497 pounds,
Viscera.
[Cole] A little bit earlier on tonight on SmackDown, King,
Viscera decided to mess around with the wrong man's woman.
He made a pass, an inappropriate pass at Tori,
and Kane took exception to it.
[Lawler] Come on.
-[Cole] What do you mean-- -[grunting]
[Tori] Kane! Kane! Kane, it's all right.
Kane. Kane.
-Get off me! -[loud thud]
-[Lawler] Look out. -Kane. Kane.
[Cole] What Viscera did, King, extremely inappropriate.
-I mean, he made a pass at her. -[Lawler] Why was it inappropriate?
[Cole] He stuck his tongue out at her. Is that any way to treat a lady?
[Lawler] Big deal. He gave her a couple of compliments,
and then he was sort of bragging.
I mean, let's take a look at Viscera. He's a big guy.
-He's physically well-endowed. -[crowd cheering]
[Cole] How do you know?
-["Burned" plays] -[Lawler] He just said it. Uh-oh.
I also know that this guy that's meant to come out here right now
is not physically well-endowed.
What about that, Michael Cole, huh? Ah!
-[Cole] You heard that from X-Pac… -Right.
…and I don't consider X-Pac a reliable source.
[announcer] …being accompanied to the ring by Tori,
he weighs in at 326 pounds,
Kane.
-[Cole] So Kane set to take on Viscera. -[Lawler] Hey, wait. What's this, now?
[Cole] Well, Tori basically telling him good luck, I'd imagine.
[Lawler] And I think Kane just is having Tori stay back for her own safety.
[Cole] Keeping Tori out of harm's way.
Folks, wish you could be here with us tonight,
for what's been a wild ride on SmackDown. Nothing like experiencing the WWE live.
You get the opportunity Monday in Buffalo.
And also, Tuesday, TV cameras, all the Superstars will be in Rochester.
[Lawler] I can't wait to be in Rochester.
One of my favorite… all-time favorite cities, Michael.
-They love the puppies up in Rochester. -[Cole] Oh yeah?
They like the puppies everywhere.
-[Lawler] Look out. -[Cole] Oh man!
-Wow! -[Lawler] It knocked the referee down.
[laughs] Oh, look at this.
-[Cole] And the 500-pound Viscera… -[bell ringing]
…and here's Kane with the right hand.
You were talking about X-Pac.
X-Pac told you all this stuff about Kane and Tori,
as Viscera's dropkicked through the second rope.
I mean, after what DX has done tonight, I can't believe a thing that they say.
[Lawler] No, you can believe X-Pac. And look at this, what I just noticed.
Kane dressed in red and black.
-Now, look back there at Tori. -[Cole] Yeah?
[Lawler] She's in red and black, like a little cheerleader.
She's the captain of the cheerleading squad.
[Cole] Why don't we have Kane come here, and explain what you think about this?
[Lawler] That's about to make me puke.
[Cole] Big Red Machine whipped into the post, shoulder-first.
[Lawler] If you don't watch it, I'll tell you exactly some of the things
that X-Pac told me about Kane.
[Cole] Oh! Samoan Drop outside the ring.
And Kane, his back thudding off that concrete under the mat.
[Lawler] Now, wait a minute. Here comes-- ♪ Stand by your man ♪
-What does she think she is? -[Cole] She's coming to check…
[referee] Tori.
-[Cole] …coming to check on Kane. -[Lawler] Yeah, lay down.
[referee] Stay out of the way.
-[Lawler] Uh-oh, wait a minute. -[Cole] This is not wise.
-[Lawler] Listen, listen. -Huh? Do you want to be a ho?
-[Cole] What? -[referee] Hey! Come on.
[Cole] And you don't call that inappropriate?
-[Lawler] I think he's gonna kiss her. -[Cole] He just asked Tori to be his ho.
[Lawler] He's got a big tongue too. Run it down her throat. [laughs]
-She'll like it. -[Cole] Yeah, please.
-Viscera stalking Tori. -[Lawler] He's got some good-looking eyes.
[Cole] Think of the fear she must be going through.
-[Lawler] Wait a minute, wait a minute. -[Cole] Oh, come on now.
-[Lawler] She's gotta like that. -[Cole] Big Vis better look up.
-And The Big Red Machine now… -[crowd cheering]
…fury in his eyes, hammering away. Right hands to the face of Viscera.
[Lawler] Oh my gosh.
[Cole] Look out! Viscera for the ride into the post.
[Lawler] All Viscera was doing was showing Tori a gold tooth.
[Cole] King, the age-old adage, "You don't mess with another man's woman."
[Lawler] You don't?
[Cole] Kane top rope.
-[Lawler] Oh, look out! -[Cole] Oh my!
Three hundred fifteen pounds slamming down the 500-pounder, thundering off the mat.
[Lawler] He flipped Viscera like a cheese omelet. Did you see that?
[Cole] And Viscera may be going for a ride.
-[Lawler] No way. -Kane setting him up.
Will Kane be able to chokeslam the 500-pounder?
-[Lawler] No way! -[Cole] Look at that by Kane!
What power, what strength.
-One, two, three. -[Lawler] No, I can't…
-[Cole] The Big Red Machine wins. -[bell rings]
["Burned" plays]
-[Lawler] I knew he could do it, but… -[announcer] Here is your winner, Kane.
[music continues]
[Cole] Love works in strange ways.
[Lawler] Well, I'll tell you, Kane may have rose to the occasion
there in the ring, but I don't think he'll be able to rise to the occasion…
-[Cole] Stop. -…when he and Tori get back to the--
-[Cole] Stop. -[Lawler] What?
[Cole] Kane picks up the victory over Viscera,
a chokeslam of the 500-pounder by The Big Red Machine.
Oh, great.
And what's he laughing about?
[Lawler] Listen, listen, listen.
-Hey. -[angrily] Hey!
-Hey, relax, relax, hold on, hold on. -Wait a minute.
What the hell are you doing?
I'm here. This is gone way too far now. All right?
I'm here to bury the hatchet now.
Here to apologize for what Billy did to Test.
Just to show you that we're serious about this,
I've got a little wedding gift for the two of them, sir.
Here you go.
Death.
-[Cole] Hey! -[Lawler] A catcher's mask!
[chuckles] For Test's nose!
-[Triple H snickering] -[crowd groaning]
Look, Officer, I've answered all of your questions.
And yes, I understand this is a very important investigation,
but I'm suggesting to you that if you have more questions,
that you contact my attorney.
Jerry Lawler?
Let me tell you about Jerry Lawler, Officer.
Jerry Lawler is a first-class,
restaurant quality ass.
That's ass, with two S's.
Well, thank you for your time. Goodbye.
-[Cole] King-- -What did he say?
"That ass with two S's."
-[Cole laughing] -Well, oh, I may be an ass,
but I'll tell you what, JR is a suspect.
His face has "perpetrator" written all over it.
I'm not saying he was driving the car,
but I'll tell you something, he knows more than he's saying.
Something's fishy.
This is all about "Stone Cold" Steve Austin
and the investigation into Sunday's hit-and-run attack
on Stone Cold is continuing.
-JR! -It all began at Survivor Series,
when D-Generation X lured "Stone Cold" Steve Austin
out into the parking lot.
We're gonna show you now again what happened this past Sunday.
[Lawler] Right.
[Cole] Stone Cold was lured out into the parking lot.
Now, keep in mind, police officers have deemed this
"attempted vehicular homicide."
[Lawler] Well, what else could you call it? Of course.
He was out there chasing Triple H.
And look at this car, comes from nowhere
and runs right over "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
I'm telling you, I see a black hat in there.
[Cole] Oh, come on now.
We know that car was Rock's rental car.
The Rock reported his car stolen
earlier in the day on Sunday at Survivor Series.
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin suffered severe trauma to the head,
-the neck and the back in that accident. -This has gone far enough.
-[Cole] Wait a minute. -I never thought I'd ever have to do this.
I want you guys to stand guard here. I want one here.
-Yes, sir. -Okay.
Two of you guys here.
No one, no one comes in this door
unless their last name is McMahon.
-Yes, sir. -You got me?
-Yes, sir. -All right.
[rock music playing]
[Cole] Well, King, Vince has positioned police officers outside his office.
[Lawler] That's the only way he's gonna be safe tonight.
-[Cole] He's concerned about his family. -[bell ringing]
And do you blame him after everything D-Generation X has done tonight,
the attack on his associates, Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco?
And what we've got going on now
is a Hardcore Championship Match, Triple Threat Match
for the World Wrestling Entertainment Women's Championship.
No holds barred, falls count anywhere,
and Jacqueline's hammering away on the champion, Ivory.
-[Lawler] Hell yeah. Hardcore rules. -[Cole] Oh! And Luna…
The third participant, with a broomstick to the back.
-[female fan] Go Luna! -And Luna again with the broom
to the back of the head of the champion, Ivory.
[Lawler] Now, Ivory, even though she's the champion,
she doesn't have to be pinned to lose.
Just the first person that scores a pinfall or gets a submission
is gonna be the new WWE Champion.
[Cole] Luna choking Ivory.
[Lawler] Women's Champion. [chuckles]
[Cole] Oh, Jacqueline from behind, busting that broomstick
over the back of Luna.
We just showed you "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, King.
An update on his condition.
He said he suffered severe trauma to the neck,
the back, and of course, the head.
-[Lawler] Oh, look at this. -[Cole] Oh my! Ivory with the mop.
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin will be out of action indefinitely.
[Lawler] Luna looks like she's wearing a mop on her head.
[Cole] Austin undergoing a battery of crucial tests as we speak.
-[crowd cheering] -[Lawler] Uh-oh, here we go.
[Cole] Again, Stone Cold out of action indefinitely.
But plenty of action here as Luna and Ivory head back into the crowd,
and Jacqueline in hot pursuit.
[Lawler] Everybody's going to…
Look out, here. Oh!
[Cole] WWE Women's Championship on the line. Hardcore rules.
And the champion, Ivory… Luna is taking it to her.
And Jacqueline.
[Lawler] These girls are allowed to fight all over this arena.
-[Cole] And falls count anywhere. -[Lawler] Watch it. Oof!
-[Cole] Luna into that concrete wall. -[grunting]
And Ivory, the champion, getting herself some.
Where are they going now?
[Lawler] I don't know, that may be the ladies dressing room.
-Don't go in there. -I can't go in there, that's the ladies--
[Cole] That's referee Jimmy Korderas. Said it's the ladies dressing room.
-[Lawler] It is? -[Cole] And look out!
-Ah! -[Lawler] There's Kitty.
[Cole] They're battling it out in the women's locker room.
-[Lawler] Hey, wait, wait. Look out. -[Ivory panting]
Look at the camera. I don't think Miss Kitty is dressed.
-She's not! -[grunting and yelping]
[Cole] Now Luna and Jacqueline battling back out into the hall.
Keep in mind, it's a Triple Threat Match. You don't have to pin the champion to win.
If Luna can pin Jacqueline here, she's gonna win the Women's Title.
-[loud thud] -Oh my. Misses with that one.
-[yelling and grunting] -And Jacqueline now from behind.
-[panting] -[Lawler] Where's Ivory?
-[grunting] -[clanging]
[Cole] Ivory, she was knocked cold, I think, back in the women's locker room.
Look at Luna now. Is she gonna pin Jacqueline?
-[Lawler] No! -[Cole] There's Ivory.
And the champ with a steel post to the back of Luna.
They're out in the crowd, concession area.
[Lawler] The concession stand. Bring me back some popcorn.
[Cole] You never know what you're gonna see
when World Wrestling Entertainment comes to town.
[crowd cheering]
The Women's Championship on the line in a Triple Threat Hardcore Match.
-[Lawler] Oh! -[Cole] Jacqueline.
Ivory, the champion, knocked down.
What's Luna got?
-A box of popcorn. -[Lawler] Hey, that's… that's mine.
That's mine! Hey, you know, that salt can burn your eyes. [chuckles]
[Cole] Straws flying all over the place.
-[Lawler] Well, they're dangerous too. -[crowd cheering]
[Cole] Look at the crowd back there.
They wanna get to the concession stand, but they're having a grand old time.
[Lawler] Put an eye out with a straw. Uh-oh.
Not carbonation too. Oh no!
[Cole] Luna salting the eyes.
[Lawler] That's probably one of those deadly diet drinks too. Oh!
[Cole] Well, that… That's a public restroom!
-[Lawler] Huh? -[Cole] That's a public restroom.
[Lawler] Don't be smoking in there, girls.
[Cole] Jacqueline and Ivory… Women's Title on the line.
-Wait a minute. That's the men's room! -[Lawler laughing]
-That's the men's room. -[Lawler] Oh my gosh.
-Oh man. Ivory tossed in the urinal. -[Lawler] Don't worry,
-those guys are just hanging out in there. -[Cole] Oh, I hope they got good aim.
[Lawler] Don't forget to wash your hands, fellas.
[Cole laughing] Oh…
[Lawler] I'll tell you what, Ivory's gonna be peed off about this isn't she?
[Cole] The women's champion shocked.
[Lawler] Might've seen something she liked.
[screaming]
[Cole] Yeah. The title's on the line here. She better get back in the game.
The cameraman was knocked down.
Hardcore rules.
Luna, Jacqueline, Ivory for the Women's Title.
-Back out in the concession area. -[Lawler] Wait a minute.
[Cole] What a wild ride on SmackDown
here in Cincinnati.
-[Lawler] What do we got going now? -[grunts]
[Cole] Luna and Jacqueline, again, backstage area.
The Women's Champion's Ivory.
-Triple Threat Match. -[Lawler] Hey, they're in the concessions.
-Those… Those're perfectly good pretzels. -[Cole] Yeah, they're fresh.
Hey!
[Cole] Oh! To the head of Luna, knocking her down.
Falls count anywhere, keep in mind. Hook to the leg of Jacqueline.
-[referee] …two, three! -[Cole] There's two…
-[bell ringing] -…and Ivory retains the Women's Title.
-["Precious (Ivory)" playing] -[Lawler] Poppin' fresh.
[announcer] Here is your winner, and still World Wrestling Entertainment
Women's Champion, Ivory.
[Cole] And Luna has lost it.
-She got taken out by a pretzel sheet. -[Ivory yelling triumphantly]
[Lawler] She never recovered from the men's restroom. [chuckles]
[Ivory continues yelling]
[Cole] Ivory retains the Women's Title.
-…Women's Champ! -[Lawler] Where's she going now?
-[Cole] What a match here on SmackDown. -[Lawler laughs]
And the celebration continues into the arena.
You know, King, Al Snow has been
extremely depressed in recent weeks over the banning
-of his action figure at Walmart. -[Lawler] But please-- Right.
[Cole] To cheer him up, you know what Mankind did?
[Lawler] Yes, I do.
Took him on a vacation to Las Vegas.
Unbelievable.
[Mankind] Thanks a lot, buddy. I appreciate it. Have a nice day.
-We're here, Al. -[Snow] All right, man.
Viva Las Vegas. That's part of UPN's Vegas Invasion Weekend.
That's why they pulled out all the stops and flew us first class.
[Snow] Wait, wait, wait, Mick.
-Flew us first class? -Yeah.
I was in 28C. That was back by the crapper.
I know. I saw you there.
Hey, look at this guy to your left. Look at the smile in his little face…
Al Snow, Mankind.
-How are you guys doing? -Hey, we're hanging--
It doesn't matter how you're doing!
[Snow] Show him, Mick. Come on. Take him down.
[Mankind] Who's your favorite wrestler, punk?
-Mankind. -Say it.
-Who is it? -Mankind.
-I can't hear you. -Mankind!
-Look at that… -[Snow] How'd you get that?
The hand of a lifetime.
I've been dreaming about a hand like this, baby!
You dream about your hand all the time.
-Shut up, Al… -[Snow laughs]
Because very soon, Mrs. Foley's little boy
is about to go home with a lot of dollarinies.
-[laughs] -[man] Finally, The Rock has come back
to Las Vegas!
It's him, that son of [bleep]. Let's get him!
You're in… You're in a lot of trouble, young man, you jerk!
[Mankind huffing]
-Here-- -You take him, Al. Hurt him.
-You ever-- -Get him!
[Lawler] That idiot threw away four aces. Uh-oh.
[Cole] Police officers stationed outside Vince McMahon's office.
Vince is taking all necessary precaution to protect his family
in the wake of DX threats.
[Mankind] Hey, Al.
-[Snow] What? -We're pretty good friends, aren't we?
Y-yeah…
-We're having fun on vacation, aren't we? -Yeah.
We're hanging out here in the Copacabana Lounge.
I'd like to point out the boys in the band.
And tickling the ivory, Mr. Al Snow.
[chuckles]
Al usually tickles my ivory, if you know what I mean. [laughs]
You brought me out here to relax and have fun.
-Let's just have a good time. -I tell you what. Let's have fun.
'Cause you know what, no one's gonna ruin my time
during UPN's Vegas Invasion, baby!
-Know your role and shut your mouth! -[record scratch]
-Little son of a… -I'll kill him, that [bleep].
-[thud] -Oh! [grunting]
-Whoo! -[both screaming]
♪ Happy birthday… ♪
Yeah, you. [laughs]
You guys wanna go to a gentlemen's club or something?
What? I don't know if you've noticed, but me and Al aren't exactly gentlemen.
No, we mean like a strip club.
Female entertainment?
You think we came here just to bum around
and go out with a couple of pimply-faced geeks who wanna… exploit women?
I think it's disgusting.
-Hey, but we're buying. -Yeah. We're buying.
-We're buying. -You're paying?
Yeah. It's on us.
What the hell. [laughs]
Let's go.
-Our wives will never find out anyway. -Hell no.
-This is gonna be great. [laughs] -Yeah.
-[man] Yeah. -[Mankind] Oh yeah.
Do we know how to party and get down?
[man] Yeah.
Oh, let me see fries with that shake.
-Oh. -Come on, baby.
[Mankind] Oh, here you go.
[man laughing]
Hey, there's plenty more where that came from. [laughs]
-[Snow laughs] I would say so. -Al, we're gonna be here a long time.
-Yeah, we are. -Bring it up.
-Whoo! -Yeah!
Ow!
I just got hit in the eye with a quarter.
-Al, did we have a great time at vacation? -We had the best time.
-Did you forget all your troubles? -I've forgotten all about 'em.
-Let's do it all over again next year. -Where are we gonna go?
I was thinking, maybe the Greater Niagara Falls Area.
Why?
Uh, I have deep respect for things of nature.
I heard across the border in Canada, they got them all nude there.
-We'll own that place. [laughs] -Yeah, baby.
We'll definitely own that place.
And you know what,
you think maybe you could ride in the back of the plane on the way home?
[Mankind] Al, that's probably not gonna happen. [chuckles]
Did you see that?
They were tipping those girls quarters.
They should've stayed at the top of that tower.
Maybe that would've raised their IQs.
-What a couple of morons. -Mankind got one in the eye.
But King, at a more serious note.
Chris Jericho, Y2J, has completely lost it.
Humiliated, embarrassed after losing to Chyna at Survivor Series,
even more humiliated after what happened on Raw this past Monday night.
Wow.
I believe I distinctly heard you say
that if I beat you last night…
-you were gonna have a sex change. -[crowd cheers]
[Lawler] Uh-oh, there goes the beard.
-Well, um… -[Lawler] This is gonna be live on Raw.
…Nurse Kitty and I thought we'd help you get surgically started.
-[Lawler] Ah! -[Vince] Wow. Oh.
No, no, no, he doesn't need those. I've got the trick for him.
-He needs these! [laughs] -[Lawler] Oh my God.
These would be more your size, I guess.
[Cole] King, during the match, Chyna and Kitty came down to ringside,
distracting Y2J and actually helping Gangrel
to pick up the victory over Chris Jericho.
[Lawler] I'm telling you, they were actually throwing tampons into the ring.
That was pretty traumatic for Y2J.
[Cole] Look at the crazed look on Chris Jericho's face.
Well, Chris Jericho then took Chyna hostage,
threatening her, telling Chyna to claim that Jericho was better than her.
…not gonna do it. You do what you have to do.
[Jericho snickers]
I guess you called my bluff.
I guess you are the better-- I mean, I can never…
I can never hit a defenseless person's hand.
I guess you really are the better person. I could never do that.
-[loud thud] -[scream]
Huh, you film this?
-Huh? Film that, film that, film that. -[agonized screams]
Film it!
Get that on tape.
[whimpering, crying]
-Help me. Help… -[door slams]
-♪ It's sexual, baby ♪ -[Cole] Wow, he's sick.
["Sexual Chocolate" playing]
[Lawler] Well, I… I agree with that,
but I mean, you know, sometimes when you go through a traumatic situation
like Chris Jericho did… I mean, you snap,
but you still can't condone something like that.
I mean, he smashed Chyna's…
well, it was her right thumb, with a hammer,
and then her thumb was just shattered.
[Cole] We can tell you Chyna's undergone surgery this week
to rebuild her shattered thumb, suffered at the hands of Chris Jericho.
You're right, trauma affects people in different ways,
but that was totally… that was off the chart.
"Sexual Chocolate" Mark Henry is set for one-on-one action.
[music cuts out]
He's got something to say.
There's not many things that I hate,
but one of those things is a woman beater.
[Lawler] Uh-oh.
Chyna and I have an illustrious past.
Breaking her thumb…
-means I'm kicking your ass. -[crowd cheers]
[Cole] Well, King, at one point, Mark Henry had a major crush on Chyna.
-["Countdown" sound playing] -[crowd cheering]
-[explosion] -[Lawler] Oh!
-["Creak the Walls Down" playing] -[Cole] And here comes "Y2J"…
Chris Jericho, set to go one-on-one
with "Sexual Chocolate" Mark Henry, here on SmackDown.
♪ For those about to rock I'm what ya want ♪
♪ Baby, you know you're Judas… ♪
[Cole] I'll tell you, King, it's a good thing for Chris Jericho,
we understand that Chyna is not going to press legal charges
in that heinous attack from Monday night on Raw.
[Lawler] She can't press anything with that thumb.
Mike Henry,
I can't believe you would be so stupid
as to stand up for that loser, Chyna's honor.
[Lawler] Did he call him "Mike Henry"?
All she had to do was admit to me
that I was the better performer at Survivor Series.
[Cole] You lost. Hello?
That I should be the Intercontinental Champion.
-[Cole] You lost. -[Lawler] You already said that.
But she didn't. And now, well,
let's just say she won't be doing any hitchhiking anytime soon.
[makes motorcar noises]
[Cole] Yeah, that's real funny, ha ha.
But Chyna, look on the bright side.
At least now when you go to the manicurist,
you can get that no-thumb discount.
-[chuckles] -[Cole] So much for an apology.
But most importantly of all,
now you know who the better man
really is.
[crowd clamor]
[Lawler] "Who the better man is"?
-What'd he mean by that? -[Cole] You know what he meant.
[bell ringing]
So it's "Y2J" Chris Jericho
going to work on the near 400-pound Mark Henry, Sexual Chocolate.
[Lawler] He's doing that, all right. Slapping his face.
[Cole] This issue between Vince and Triple H and DX
has become extremely personal, but taken to a new level tonight.
And speaking of level, Henry just leveled Chris Jericho.
[Lawler] And speaking of Vince and Triple H,
I know we're going to be in Rochester next week for SmackDown,
but one of those two may not make it to Rochester.
Oh, look at this.
[Cole] Big event Tuesday though, at Rochester.
Oh! Bulldog by Jericho on the "Sexual Chocolate" Mark Henry.
Y2J, second rope, up over the top, caught him.
Hooks the leg, here's the cover,
-there's two… and three! -…two, three.
-Y2J with a big win over Mark Henry. -[bell rings]
-["Break the Walls Down" playing] -Wow.
[announcer] Here's your winner, Chris Jericho.
[Cole] Well, for tonight at least, Y2J
has put his problems with Chyna behind him.
And I guess that heinous attack on Chyna on Raw this past week
has given Jericho new life, in his mind.
-[Lawler] Did you make that sign? -[Cole] What sign?
-[Lawler] "How's your thumb, Chyna?" -[Cole] Please.
[Lawler] You know how women are when they break a nail. Can't go anywhere.
♪ Step in the arena and break… ♪
[Lawler] Uh-oh.
Who the hell is this?
What? Where was I?
It's obvious that you don't know who you're talking to, boy.
Don't you know the Third Commandment?
What? [grumbles]
He-Hello?
This is… Buh.
Who?
What?
Where?
I don't even know how to d-d-d-d…
drive!
[Cole] Well, The Dudley Boyz, obviously, talking to investigators
as the hit-and-run investigation continues.
And there are the New Age Outlaws. Billy Gunn and the Road Dogg
defend the Tag Team Titles, next on SmackDown.
Well, Rock, it's obvious that you must have revenge on your mind
as you go against the Big Boss Man tonight.
[crowd cheering]
[fans chanting "Rocky!"]
Finally, The Rock has come back to Cincinnati!
[crowd cheering]
Big Boss Man, The Rock says this.
Last week, Monday Night Raw, did you beat The Rock?
You're damn right you did.
Did you beat The Rock by yourself?
You're damn right you didn't, because you couldn't.
It took not one but two to beat The Rock.
And now, Boss Man,
you are the Number One Contender for the WWE Title.
-[clapping along] -[crowd chanting "Rocky!"]
Boss Ban… Boss Man,
The Rock says that he knows, in time,
he will be the WWE Champion,
and The Rock's people know that in due time,
The Rock will be, without a shadow of a doubt,
the best damn WWE Champion there ever was.
[crowd cheering]
So The Rock says, Boss Man, you can have
your Number One Contender spot,
because The Rock has a title in which he is very proud of.
The Rock has a title in which you or no one else
could ever, ever have, and that is the title of being
The People's Champion.
[crowd cheering]
So Boss Man, having said that,
tonight on SmackDown, The Rock's show,
as sure as The Rock has the recognized symbol of greatness,
the Brahma Bull tattooed on his arm,
and as sure as The Rock is gonna layeth the smacketh down
on your candy ass.
[crowd cheering]
[crowd chanting "Rocky!"]
If you smell
what The Rock…
[crowd] …is cooking.
[crowd cheering]
…is cooking.
[crowd cheering]
-[Cole] Tonight on SmackDown, King… -["Loaded" playing]
…Rock, Boss Man. If it was anything like what we saw on Monday night,
look out, it's not gonna be a pretty sight.
Rock went ballistic on Boss Man and Prince Albert.
[Lawler] He left them a bloody mess right in the middle of this very ring.
-Uh-oh. -[bell ringing]
[announcer] The following contest is scheduled for one fall,
and it is for the World Wrestling Entertainment
Tag Team Championship.
Introducing first, the challengers, being accompanied by Terri Runnels,
from Cameron, North Carolina, at a combined weight of 430 pounds,
Matt and Jeff…
[Cole] Hardy Boyz with a great opportunity here.
And, folks, MechWarrior 3 presents WWE Armageddon.
MechWarrior 3 for PC CD-ROM. Let the battle begin.
["Oh, You Didn't Know" playing]
♪ Oh, you didn't know? ♪
♪ Your ass better call somebody ♪
[Lawler] I'll tell you one thing,
this a great opportunity for the Hardys and Terri Runnels,
but they got their work cut out for them, Michael.
These guys are, without a doubt,
probably the greatest Tag Team Champions
-in WWE history. -Cincinnati!
-[Cole] Probably? -You're damn right!
[Lawler] Without a doubt, probably.
You see, it's me, it's me,
it's the D-O-double G,
rolling once again with that B-A-double D, see?
[Cole] They are a five-time World Wrestling Entertainment Champions.
[Lawler] They took Test earlier tonight on a little unwanted ride,
they've attacked the entire McMahon family,
and people are still holding up signs that say, "We love DX."
[Cole] The Outlaws against the Hardys, Tag Team Titles on the line.
Should be a great one here on SmackDown.
Yeah, I bet Billy Gunn's real proud of himself,
breaking Test's nose last week on SmackDown.
[Lawler] Little bloody nose never hurt anybody.
[Cole] …shoving him in the back of a trunk of a car.
-Cut the music! -[Lawler] He gave him a catcher's mask.
[crowd cheering]
-It's a nice wedding gift. -[Cole] Yeah.
[Lawler] Uh-oh.
Think Road Dogg's going to talk about his shiznit?
Cincinnati,
welcome to the Dogg House.
[crowd cheering]
-[Lawler] He's down in Cleveland. -[fans barking]
Well, you know, those New Age Outlaws
always like to kick that shiznit doggy style
with The Hardy Boyz's mama.
-[Lawler] Uh-oh. -[bell rings]
[Cole] Outlaws go to work on the Hardys. This is gonna be a good one.
Team Titles on the line, Road Dogg working on Matt Hardy,
and it's Mr. Ass on Jeff Hardy, tossing him out of the ring.
Outlaws, five-time World Wrestling Entertainment
Tag Team Champions, Hardy Boyz, former Tag Champs as well.
You know, Terri must've worked some magic
to get this tag team opportunity for her boys, Matt and Jeff.
[Lawler] What're you saying?
[Cole] Tremendous balance by Matt. Jeff Hardy from behind.
Matt with a tremendous…
Oh man, look at Road Dogg outside the ring with Jeff.
-[Lawler] Look at this! -[Cole] Up over the top, Matt caught him.
-Wow. -Come on, Road Dogg, get up!
[Cole] These Hardys can fly, tremendous athletic ability.
[Lawler] Without a doubt, they're impressive.
One…
[Lawler] Looks like Mr. Ass might've got his nose hurt there.
[referee] …four…
-[Lawler] Did you hear that? -[Cole] Yeah, I heard it.
The Outlaws going over strategy outside the ring.
I'll tell you, ever since Terri took over this team of Matt and Jeff Hardy,
they've been climbing the ladder to the top,
got this Tag Team Title match
-signed for Matt and Jeff. -[Lawler] She likes it on top.
[Cole] We gotta take another look at this. Road Dogg working on Jeff,
-and look at Matt, up over the top rope. -[Lawler] Wow.
The only thing I don't like about the Hardys,
they take too many chances.
One of these days, it'll come back to haunt them. Wait and see.
[Cole] Yeah, D-Generation X takes too many chances.
A lot of chances tonight.
All the attacks on Mr. McMahon's associates,
his soon-to-be son-in-law, Test.
Vince McMahon has cops positioned outside his office to protect his family.
-And Road Dogg now, with the left hands. -[crowd cheering]
The southpaw going to work on Jeff Hardy,
a little bit of Shake, Rattle, and Roll for the Champ!
[Lawler] Vince said on Raw that he thinks
that Mr. Ass was driving the car that ran down Steve Austin.
[Cole] He was the only DX member unaccounted for
at the time of the accident.
[Lawler] His plane was delayed.
[Cole] Or the attack. No accident, attack.
[Lawler] We checked the records. He was on a flight that got delayed.
If you're not careful, I may stooge him off about you too, Michael.
[Cole] What did I do?
[Lawler] Ah, wouldn't you like to know?
[Cole] Hardy flies through the air,
double knockdown of both Mr. Ass and Road Dogg.
-[Lawler] I know what you did last Sunday. -[Cole] Oh man!
Yeah, I was doing interviews backstage at Survivor Series.
Just like Jim Ross was sitting out here with you doing play-by-play,
and couldn't been involved in it.
[Lawler] I didn't say-- Oh, couldn't have been involved?
[Cole] Not at all. He was out here with you.
-[Lawler] He's unstable, Michael. -[Cole] Please. Unstable?
[Lawler] Remember the time he set up a table right in front of you and I?
[Cole] And here's Matt Hardy now, tag off Jeff Hardy,
and Matt going to work with the right hand.
Tag Team Titles on the line,
and Matt Hardy is cooking on all cylinders.
Road Dogg whipped into the ropes, and what an elbow by Matt Hardy.
Matt Hardy taking advantage of Mr. Ass here.
-Big back body drop… -[Lawler] Whoa!
[Cole] …Mr. Ass flying through the air.
[Lawler] How do you cook on cylinders?
Cylinders have to do with a car and--
[Cole] It's an expression. And Jeff Hardy…
-[Lawler] He's making an expression! -[Cole] Oh man!
Boot to the face of the Road Dogg.
And here's another one.
Referee in the away,
and Jeff Hardy inadvertently knocked down referee Timmy White.
[Lawler] Too many chances. Too many chances.
[Cole] And Matt Hardy and Mr. Ass outside the ring.
[fans hollering]
Right hands hammering away, and there's another one.
-[Lawler] What's he doing? -[Cole] And look out now. Incoming!
-[Lawler] Look out! -[Cole] Jeff Hardy, off the barricade,
flattening Mr. Ass.
[crowd chatter]
[Lawler] I think-- I think…
the Hardys may win the Tag Team Titles here. I can't believe it.
[Cole] I think The Outlaws are in deep trouble.
Referee's been knocked down, however.
-Road Dogg, flipped down by Jeff. -[Lawler] Oh!
[Cole] Matt off the top. He caught the Dogg.
And The Hardy Boyz in the midst of pulling a huge upset.
[Lawler] I'm just thinking about the celebration
that Terri's gonna have if they do pull off the upset.
[Cole] Look at this double-team, King.
-Suplex. -[Lawler] Ah!
[Cole] Senton bomb. Caught him in the sternum.
It's over. This one's over.
The Hardys can make the cover here.
And they're gonna fly again.
Oh, we've seen this before.
[Lawler] They got it won.
[Cole] We've seen this before by Matt and Jeff.
Get your cameras ready.
-Oh my! -[crowd cheering]
Double-team on the Road Dogg.
[Lawler] Terri, go around and get the ref-- Uh-oh, here we go.
Matt rolls into the cover.
-Referee back into the ring, Timmy White. -[crowd cheering]
Wait a minute. Hooks the leg…
Hey, it's X-Pac. It's X-Pac.
X-Pac into the ring. Heel kick to the face of Matt.
[crowd booing]
[Lawler] What a shot.
[Cole] Typical DX style.
X-Pac coming from out of nowhere.
[man] X-Pac, you suck!
[Cole] Referee coming to. Both men out in the middle of the ring.
Matt Hardy's covered Road Dogg.
Matt Hardy has the Road Dogg covered.
-There's one. -[Lawler] Wait a minute.
-[Cole] There's two. -[Lawler] What a slow count. Come on, ref.
[Cole] And Mr. Ass just pulled the ref out of the ring.
And look at X-Pac, taking advantage.
-[Lawler] Look at this. Ah! -[Cole] X-Factor. X-Factor.
And Road Dogg rolls into the cover after the X-Factor.
[Lawler] What teamwork.
[Cole] The Outlaws are gonna steal this one. Teamwork?
-[Lawler] Well-oiled machine. -[bell ringing]
[Cole] The Outlaws steal it from the Hardys.
The Hardy Boyz had the Tag Team Titles won.
-[announcer] Here are your winners… -["Oh, You Didn't Know?" playing]
[Lawler] Come over here. Let me console you.
[announcer] …Tag Team Champions,
The New Age Outlaws.
[Cole] Well, King, what a night last week on SmackDown.
Arnold Schwarzenegger, star of the upcoming movie End of Days,
had a grand old time here on UPN.
[Lawler] Thanks to me.
So if you would,
give a rousing WWE welcome
to the greatest single box office attraction in the world today.
Ladies and gentlemen,
-Arnold Schwarzenegger. -[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] All right!
[Cole] They are on their feet in Baltimore.
Arnold Schwarzenegger has invaded SmackDown.
Arnold, I have to ask you about SmackDown.
Did you have a good time?
Well, I think that it was a great idea for me to come and visit SmackDown,
and it was fun from the time I got there,
and we did the interview,
and then hanging out backstage
and talking to all the guys,
and then going out and receiving the belt,
the World Box Office Champion Belt of the…
you know, that was terrific.
Then to see the great enthusiasm of all the people and the screaming
and the howling and, uh…
It was also very nice that they showed the End of Days trailer
to the audience, you know, and all that.
And then also, to get involved in a little bit
of a problem in the end there,
which was quite unexpected, but we took care of that.
And all of it was a lot of fun.
-Where's-- Arnold, where are you going? -Arnold, what are you doing?
-That's a chair. -[Cole] Wait a minute.
Arnold Schwarzenegger, he just handed Austin a chair.
Austin nails Triple H.
-[Lawler] What're you gonna do? -[Cole] Wait a minute. Triple H--
Oh, Schwarzenegger! Schwarzenegger whamming Triple H.
Schwarzenegger hammering away on Triple H.
Arnold Schwarzenegger just took out Triple H.
-[glass shatters] -Schwarzenegger and Austin.
-["I Won't Do What You Tell Me" playing] -What a night on SmackDown.
So did you see that Arnold made an appearance on SmackDown?
Well, now… I don't know what-- I didn't see it,
but I did hear a lot of talk about it,
and I heard that Arnold was attempting to kick ass there
and trying to prove that, like, he was a big tough guy.
Thank you for sitting down with us, Arnold. Good luck with everything.
Sit down, SmackDown,
-I mean, we have it all. -[interviewer laughs]
I'm just thinking, maybe now, with the Hollywood thing,
-we'll get you Rocky VI, Rocky VII. -[Stephanie shushes]
-You're a real comedian, Shane. -[McMahons laugh]
Yeah.
Hey, Dad, do you smell something burning?
[Vince] What do you mean?
I don't know. I smell something burning.
[Vince] Is it the television?
No, let me see.
I smell it too. [sniffing]
[Stephanie] I smell it.
[multiple people coughing]
-[Cole] We're back on SmackDown and-- -[Lawler] What is this?
[Cole] Well, Vince McMahon's office… Smoke is billowing out of the office.
-That's Shane… -[officer] Get down, get down. Come out.
-[coughing] -[Cole] …and there's Test.
[coughing continues]
-Oh my God. -[Vince gasps]
-[officer] Everybody okay? -[Cole] Vince struggling his way out.
-[Lawler] What just happened? -[officer] Call the Fire Department.
-["Guard" playing] -[Lawler] It's a fire in Vince's office?
[Cole] A fire in Vince's office. The police officers just said,
"Call the fire department."
[Lawler] But I didn't see Stephanie come out.
[Cole] Vince, Shane, and Test made it out, but where the hell's Stephanie?
[bell ringing]
[announcer] The following contest is scheduled for one fall.
Making his way to the ring, being accompanied by Prince Albert,
from Cobb County, Georgia, weighing in at 305 pounds,
the Big Boss Man.
[Cole] You know, King, a very chaotic situation backstage, obviously.
Vince McMahon's office is on fire.
[Lawler] Well… I'm sure we're gonna keep cameras back there
and keep that situation monitored, but…
we saw everybody get out except-- Did you see Stephanie get out of there?
[Cole] I didn't see Stephanie at all.
Well, anyway…
[Lawler] How could they have a fire in Vince's office?
[Cole] Well, the Big Boss Man set to take on The Rock here one-on-one.
You see the bandages on his forehead
after that brutal attack by The Rock on Raw.
[crowd booing]
♪ If you smell ♪
-[crowd cheering] -♪ What The Rock is cooking ♪
-["If You Smell" playing] -[announcer] And his opponent,
from Miami, Florida,
weighing in at 275 pounds,
The Rock.
[Cole] Well, the Big Boss Man's
the Number One Contender for the WWE Championship.
He defeated The Rock on Raw Monday night,
thanks to Prince Albert, in that Hardcore Rules match.
But after that match, King,
we saw a side of The Rock I hope we never experience again.
[Lawler] Well, I don't know why you'd say that.
Just because he went completely wild.
I mean, he was wild-eyed,
he was pounding Prince Albert, the Big Boss Man into the ground,
and busted both of their heads wide open. Blood was everywhere.
Why would you never wanna see that again?
[Cole] We have to believe The Rock was completely frustrated
over what's happened to him over this past week,
Survivor Series, the Triple Threat Match.
He believes he should've been WWE Champion at Survivor Series,
that Prince Albert getting involved in the match,
that Hardcore Match on Raw, Rock believes he should be
the Number One Contender for the championship now.
It's been a rough week for The Brahma Bull.
[Lawler] Well, unfortunately for The Brahma Bull, this match
is not for the Number One Contendership.
I mean, Boss Man has got that right down inside
-that bulletproof vest of his. -[bell ringing]
[Cole] And Rock, wasting little time going to work on the Big Boss Man.
Right hands to the 300-pounder.
[crowd chanting "Rocky!"]
The Brahma Bull, who completely lost it after Raw, went off the deep end.
As Boss Man slides out to catch himself a breather.
[Lawler] Listen to these people. They love The Rock.
-They wanna see him lay the smack down. -[crowd chanting "Rocky!"]
[Cole] Rock's going out after Boss Man.
-[Lawler] Oh! -[Cole] Prince Albert's out there as well.
[fans clapping]
The Boss Man's accomplice in crime.
[Lawler] I'd tell The Rock be careful, because if you look over here,
you'll see Prince Albert is holding that nightstick
that belongs to the Boss Man.
[Cole] Forehead into the steel steps.
Boss Man was cut wide open on Raw Monday night
-by The Rock. -[Lawler] Look out.
[Cole] Boss Man tossed back into the ring.
Brahma Bull all about business here tonight.
[Lawler] You know, I've just heard that…
Actually, we still don't have confirmation
that Stephanie made it out of that room that was filled with smoke
and, obviously, with fire. Nobody's seen her.
[Cole] Vince McMahon's office, obviously a fire in there,
we saw smoke billowing out.
-Shane McMahon, Vince McMahon, Test… -[crowd chanting "Rocky!"]
…climbing out, crawling out…
-Shut your mouth! -[Cole] …gasping for breath.
[Lawler] You know, I thought maybe it was
just an electrical short or something like that,
but obviously too much smoke for that.
Definitely a fire. Oh, look out!
[Cole] Oh! Boss Man face-first at the hands of The Rock.
Quickly back up, misses right hand, and Rock with the suplex.
Here's a cover, hooks the leg.
Two on the Boss Man, and he gets the shoulder up before the three-count.
What a night.
[Lawler] The Rock certainly wants to prove a point here, but…
I mean, I just don't see how The Rock is gonna be able to be successful.
Well, Boss Man's tough enough by himself, but look, you got Prince Albert
right here at ringside going for a piledriver.
-Whoa. -[Cole] Look out.
Rock, back body drop.
Well, we saw the example of that on Raw Monday night, King.
Rock and Boss Man one-on-one,
but Prince Albert got involved, helping the Boss Man pick up the victory.
[Lawler] That's right. And Prince Albert, he's gotta be six-seven, six-eight.
-[Cole] Cover! -[Lawler] …300, about 350 pounds.
[Cole] Rock got the shoulder up before the count of three,
as Prince Albert looks on,
-Rock tossed out of the ring… -[Lawler] Watch yourself, Rock.
[Cole] And look at Prince Albert taking advantage
-as the Boss Man distracts the ref. -Oh!
Another right hand by Prince Albert to The Rock.
[Lawler] Did you hear the impact on that?
[Cole] Yeah, I heard the impact, the thud against the skull of The Brahma Bull.
[Albert] I'm just sitting there minding my business.
[Cole] Again, I wish we get some sort of word
of what's going on in Vince's office.
Rock slammed by Boss Man.
It's been a wild night on SmackDown.
Boss Man climbing second rope. Rock to his feet.
Boss Man kicked to the midsection.
Rock planted a DDT, rolls into the cover,
hooks the leg, two-- Kickout.
-Two. -[Cole] Wow.
[Lawler] You know, I'm not trying to be funny or anything,
but the old saying, "Where there's smoke, there's fire."
We got a fire in Vince's dressing room.
How do you think that got started, Michael, huh?
[Cole] I'm not gonna start pointing fingers at anybody out here tonight.
But I'll tell you what--
-[crowd cheering] -Look out!
Boss Man countered the Rock Bottom with the elbow to the face.
[Lawler] We've been saying, you know,
what's been going on for the last hour and a half here.
[Cole] Wait, nightstick.
Boss Man missed.
Rock nails him with a Rock Bottom. Rock Bottom. Hooks the leg.
[Lawler] He got him!
-[Cole] Rock picks up the win. -[bell ringing]
Rock picks up the win.
-And now, Prince Albert into the ring. -["If You Smell" playing]
And Prince Albert with kicks to the midsection.
-[bell ringing] -Not letting Rock enjoy this victory.
And here's the double-team by Boss Man and Prince Albert.
[Lawler] Gonna tell you, you had to know this was gonna happen.
The Boss Man is the Number One Contender and--
-Hey-- -[Cole] Hey, wait a minute.
-It's-It's The Big Show, the WWE Champion. -[crowd cheering]
Earlier on tonight, it was Boss Man with a nightstick…
-[Lawler] Look out! -…and vicious attack on the Show.
Chokeslam to Prince Albert.
[Lawler] He's a super heavyweight.
[Cole] And here comes Crash and Hardcore Holly.
-What in the world are they doing? -[Lawler] I don't know.
-[Cole] And The Rock. Rock Bottom! -[Lawler] Oh!
[Cole] And Hardcore takes a right hand.
And Hardcore, going for the Rock Bottom.
-[Lawler] Oh man. -[bell ringing]
-[Cole] Wow. -[crowd cheering]
The Rock picks up the win.
And he wins the battle after the war as well.
-♪ What The Rock is cooking ♪ -["If You Smell" playing]
[announcer] Here is your winner, The Rock.
[Cole] Well, I'll tell you, Big Boss Man got his
at the hands of The Rock.
[Lawler] But the Boss Man is still the Number One Contender.
[Cole] And he got his at the hands of The Big Show.
No, Big Show didn't get his hands on Boss Man.
[Cole] Rock picks up the win. Listen to the crowd on SmackDown.
♪ One, two, is this on? ♪
[Cole] Well, we're back on SmackDown and-- well, that's Triple H's music,
and King, I have no idea why he's coming out here,
but I can tell you this, we learned during the commercial break
that Stephanie McMahon is okay.
She made it out of Vince McMahon's office from another exit.
Of course, that smoke billowing out the office.
Apparently, a fire was started inside.
And the question now, King, is…
was this man, Triple H, was D-Generation X responsible?
♪ Tell me who and what to be ♪
I mean, hasn't Triple H and DX
caused enough problems already here tonight?
The attack of Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco,
Mr. McMahon's loyal associates.
The soon-to-be son-in-law of Mr. McMahon, Test,
the attack in the parking lot, tossing him to the back of a car,
then breaking his nose again.
Triple H has made it extremely personal.
-Wait a minute. -[light coughing]
I know DX, I know that SOB Triple H, had something to do with this.
But right now, I want you guys, security,
stay with Shane, Test, and Stephanie.
Take them downstairs to the parking lot, put them safely in another car.
-I got a little business to take care of. -Where are you going?
I'm gonna finish this, okay?
You all go do your thing, I'm gonna do mine.
If we're staying here, security is staying with you.
Yeah, yeah. We'll be fine. Take the security with you.
-It's right down the stairs. -Watch Steph. Keep an eye on Steph.
-We'll stay with them. -Okay. All right. Come on.
Be careful, Dad.
-Come on. -[coughing]
[Cole] You know, you heard Vince McMahon. Vince McMahon believes D-Generation X
was directly responsible for that fire in his office.
That's what he just said.
[Lawler] And I'm gonna tell you something.
Every time Triple H sees Vince, he's gonna do something bad to him.
I can assure you that.
And probably, if Triple H ever sees Arnold Schwarzenegger again,
he'll kick Arnold's ass as well.
Well, this whole thing started out as business.
[crowd chanting "Asshole!"]
It was plain and simple business, that's it.
I busted my ass
to get what I wanted.
I became the World Wrestling Entertainment Champion
through guts, determination, hard work,
blood, sweat and tears, all mine…
[Lawler] That's a fact.
…to become…
[crowd chanting "Asshole!"]
I was the World Wrestling Entertainment Champion.
[Lawler] He was. Key word, was.
But that burned a hole in Vince McMahon.
It ate him alive.
Because after all,
you know, I wasn't one of Vince's boys.
I did it on my own,
without his help,
and that burned his ass bad.
So, it came down…
to Survivor Series…
where Vince McMahon screwed me.
-[Lawler] That's a fact again. -Vince McMahon stole from me.
[crowd chanting "Austin!"]
Vince McMahon committed a crime
against me personally…
personally…
which left me with no choice
but to have DX get personal with Vince McMahon.
So then what you have is what happened tonight.
We got personal with Vince McMahon's
whole damn family.
Which leaves only one thing left to do.
[Lawler] Uh-oh.
[crowd chatter]
And that is…
for Vince McMahon to take the walk down to the ring…
to get face to face with me,
to stand man to man, eye to eye with me.
And let me get personal with you.
So Vince, get your ass out here, now.
[Lawler] Oh boy, here we go.
[Cole] The chairman of World Wrestling Entertainment
-has been called out… -Whoa. Wait. And Vince…
this is between you and me.
You see, this is personal…
so leave the police in the back and handle it like a man,
personally.
[Cole] Triple H has called out Vince McMahon…
[Lawler] Without the police. I don't think that's gonna happen.
[Cole] …to settle this thing once and for all.
-["No Chance" plays] -[Lawler] Wait a minute
[Cole] He's gonna get his wish here.
♪ No chance… ♪
[Lawler] I suggest you bring the cops, all of them.
-♪ Up against a machine too strong ♪ -Uh-oh, no cops.
-[Cole] Here comes Vince, alone. -♪ Greedy politicians buying souls ♪
♪ For us are puppets… ♪
Vince apparently thinks he can handle this himself, King.
And think about what Vince McMahon has been through this evening.
The attack on his associates,
the situation with his soon-to-be son-in-law,
his son and his daughter trapped in that fire in his office.
♪ No chance in hell… ♪
I mean, it's been an emotional evening for this man, and now he's gonna…
[Lawler] Wait. Don't go too far. You don't know that DX set any fire.
[Cole] No, I didn't say that, but I said it's been an emotional week…
-uh, evening for this man. -[Lawler] Right, right.
[Cole] Everything that he's been through, now he's gotta face Triple H face to face.
[Lawler] Don't make it worse than it is. Don't make it worse than it is.
It's bad, all right.
♪ No chance in hell ♪
♪ C'mon, c'mon, come and get it ♪
[music fades out]
[Cole] You can feel the tension in this ring.
[Lawler] Uh-oh.
[crowd cheering]
Wait a minute, what-- Wait a minute.
Hold on, tough guy, hold on.
I knew you were gonna come in here all full of piss and vinegar,
but if you touch me, I will sue your ass.
[Lawler] Whoa, what?
[crowd booing]
He'll sue Vince McMahon?
I will sue you for every red cent
you've got in those bulging pockets of yours, pal.
[Lawler] Hey, he's a billionaire.
[Triple H] Because I know what would happen.
I would beat your withered, old,
bad-hair-having ass half to death in this ring…
and tomorrow, I would be fired.
[Lawler] Right.
-Right? -[Lawler] That is right.
Oh yeah, you'd fire my ass, sure as the day is long.
[Lawler] What is Vince doing? He's rolling his sleeves up.
[Triple H] That's not gonna happen, Vince.
What I propose is…
we do it another way.
You go back home, you go to the office,
you get your high-dollar lawyers
you have that work so diligently for you at the office,
screwing everybody under the sun.
You get those lawyers to draw up some papers
that state at a specified date,
you and I will meet face to face in this very ring.
[Lawler] What?
-We will get personal… -[crowd chanting "Asshole!"]
…as personal, and I do mean personal,
as we possibly can get.
So Vince, you draw up those papers and you get them to me.
[Triple H] Now…
[crowd chanting "Austin!"]
What that contract should also state is, Vince,
that no matter how bad I beat your ass,
no matter how bad I stomp you,
you can do nothing to me afterwards.
I cannot be fired,
I cannot be monetarily attacked,
no one from your family can do anything about it,
no one from your legal department can do anything about it,
there is not a damn thing that can happen to me
after I do the inevitable…
which is beat you that close to the edge of your life.
[crowd booing]
And Vince,
it seems to me that the perfect date for such an event
would be… December…
You've got a pay-per-view coming up.
-What's the name, ooh… Armageddon? -[Lawler] Uh-oh.
I think that's the name, Armageddon? That's very fitting, Armageddon.
That's your next big overhyped event, right?
Well, Armageddon will be me and you…
one more time.
It will be done.
Whaddaya you say, old man?
We have a deal?
[crowd chatter]
-[woman] No! -[Cole] What?
[Triple H] What the hell was that?
-Do you hear a scream? -[grunting sounds from video]
-Oh my God, is that your family? -[groaning on video]
-[Cole] Oh, what the hell? -[man] Steph, Steph, you all right?
-Oh Jesus, you're cut. -[Triple H] Oh my God…
-Vince, that's your family. -[Cole] Oh my God.
[Triple H] They've fallen down the stairs and they can't get up.
-[man] Let me see your head. -[Cole] Oh my God.
-[Triple H] Vince! -[Cole] What the hell has happened here?
[Triple H] Vince! Be careful, Vince!
Watch your step! Be careful, Vince!