I took half a day's leave so that I could make a plan on my own.
And here I am stuck with this.
What all have you stuffed in it?
Did you buy out the entire market?
Only some utensils. The curtains and sheets are old.
We'll buy new ones tomorrow.
Why tomorrow? Why didn't you buy all of it today?
Today, there was no fun in seeing the curtains.
Yes. So, you mean it will be fun tomorrow?
There will be the Thursday Market at Takrohi Square tomorrow.
It takes time to choose stuff but we get quality goods.
Not good stuff, but inexpensive stuff.
You love buying inexpensive stuff.
You have become addicted to spending unnecessarily.
We have such beautiful walls at home.
Any fabric will look good on them.
Really? Let's put your torn tunic on them, instead of curtains.
Why just the tunic?
I can wear the tunic and hang from the hook.
Give it to me.
-Get the stuff placed. -I won't.
Call those brawny souls.
What have we raised them for?
Aman!
-Aman! -Dad, I am in the bathroom.
Nowadays, your younger son takes quite a long to bathe.
I see. Come out soon.
Help your mom in the kitchen.
It'll take me some time.
This...
Here.
-Shall I tell you something? -Yes.
You are a good lady, I mean
a nice lady.
Really? Where did this noble thought come from?
Dad used to say that a man and a woman together make a home.
A man is like the walls of the house.
Strong. One who carries the roof firmly.
Yes. The woman is like the upholstery of the house.
Something that adds charm to the house.
By that measure, you are good.
I mean you manage everything well.
The walls are built only once
but the upholstery needs constant upgradation.
So basically you saved a lot of money.
How is that?
Your father built the walls.
You got them painted a few times. That's it.
I see.
Do you mean to say I make no contribution to the household?
If trouble befalls us, then you shall see.
Santosh Mishra will get in his element.
He is here.
Yes. Tell me.
-House no. 534? -Yes.
DK Srivastav from the municipality.
Santosh Mishra, Electricity Department.
A notice for you from the municipal corporation.
What is the notice for?
Your house has not been built as per the plan sanctioned.
Then which plan has it been built according to?
You will tell that to us in a reply to this notice.
It has all the details.
You tell me what this is all about.
In short, your house has been declared as an illegal structure.
The municipality will take action on it.
What action?
The illegal structure will be demolished.
What do you mean by demolishing?
-Demolish what? -Listen, sir. I need to go and issue many notices.
It has all the details in it.
The language is complicated.
But you're in the electricity department.
You'll understand everything. If you don't understand anything,
my number is here. Do call me.
Goodbye.
'Executive Officer, Municipality.'
Aman, pull your dad's tongue out.
If you see a mole on it, scratch it away.
Dad, open your mouth.
Shut up! Go and wear clothes.
'Listen to me with the utmost attention.'
'In this winter, stories are ready to unfold.'
'There are four members in this family. Santosh Mishra heads it.'
'His ordinary moustache carries an extraordinary ego.'
'I hope you remember.'
'The elder son, Anand Mishra, is MR by profession.'
'The younger son, Aman, aspires to become a novelist.'
'I hope you remember it.'
'The tanginess in their life is provided by'
'the pointed comments made by their mother, Shanti Mishra.'
'I am sure you remember that.'
'I am here. A piggy bank sitting comfortably on the table.'
'Once again I am here with interesting stories.'
'The first example of interesting stories.'
'The government has sent a show cause notice.'
'Episode 1, Show Cause Notice'
Sir, you have to attend the OPD in CP Hospital from 2 p.m.
-It's better if you leave by 1:30 p.m. -Sure.
I'll get your lunch prepared by 1 p.m.
-Okay. -Okay.
-Good morning, sir. -Good morning.
How are you? Please wait for a while.
The patients are more today. Please wait. It will take time.
Yes, sir.
We have been waiting for two hours.
-Oh. -Let's go to another place.
Hello, sir.
-Hello, sir. -Hi.
-How are you, Mishra? -Sir.
Sit.
Since when are you here?
It's been 20 minutes, sir.
How much is your CTC?
Including incentives, it is Rs. 3.6 lakh.
-Twenty rupees. -What?
Twenty rupees is the price of your twenty minutes.
I see.
Do you know what's the price of twenty minutes of this doctor?
No, sir.
He charges 500 rupees.
He examines 6 to 7 patients.
The doctor makes us wait long.
It's because he knows the value of your time.
Sir.
Accept the truth.
I have heard a lot of praise about you.
Shankwar said you are a go-getter.
Nothing like that, sir. Just...
I take work as a challenge.
You are a salesman.
How will you work if you don't take it as a challenge?
Absolutely, sir.
-Did you get targets? -Yes.
-Meet them. -Yes.
You'll be given more targets.
If you fail to meet them, I won't be talking nicely to you.
Sir?
You should have the ability to bear scoldings.
Who are there in your family?
Sir, I live with my mom, dad and younger brother.
The eldest son in the family. Apple of parents' eye.
Well, sir.
I am sure you bully your brother.
Not always, sir. Sometimes I do.
Sometimes.
You know, I am the youngest of three brothers.
-Really? -From childhood, I developed the stamina to hear abuses.
Today I earn more than my brothers.
-Shall we? -Sir.
Lucky will be here in two minutes.
Do you know the value of two minutes of mine?
Mr. Shashi. Long time.
-All good? -Yes, sir.
Hey! Shashi! Come in.
Good afternoon, Dr. Singh.
I thought you had gone to the Delhi office.
I won't leave you so soon, sir.
-Sir, this is Anand Mishra. -Yes.
He's a very bright boy.
-Hello, sir. -Hello.
He's trying to meet you for two weeks.
I told him that you'll make him wait and he should oblige.
Even five minutes with sir is so educating.
Come. Sit.
Thank you, sir. Sit.
Looking fit, sir.
What?
Joined some gym?
Come on, Shashi.
Sir, is the AC working fine?
I know your company got it installed but we can't run it in winter.
Let's get a heater fixed then.
Anand, write it. A heater for sir.
-Where? -Right here.
Tell me.
Sir, you are receiving goodies from Steady Life!
That's why you didn't reply to my Diwali wishes.
Don't be greedy, Shashi.
We can't be biased.
There is no bias in this.
In your expert opinion, our medicines are the best. That's it.
Sir, you are an Indian, our company is Indian
and so is the AC.
Sir, at least do this for the sake of our country.
Yes, sir.
Tell me. What will you have? Tea or coffee?
-Sir, tea. -Sir, I already told you.
Sir, I heard you are starting a clinic somewhere else as well.
Yes, I have seen a location.
-My daughter, Priti. -Sir's daughter.
I am setting it up for her.
You will need a water purifier, an AC and a heater for that clinic too.
That's for later, Shashi.
Sir, at least show some bias here.
Don't deprive us of a chance to serve you.
We shall discuss that later. Leave your literature with me.
Let me see what I can do.
Sir, did you get the AC and cooler installed?
How else do you think I am able to barge into his cabin?
That is the mantra. Respect the egoist and feed a greedy.
Your work will be done.
But if you feed the egoist and respect the greedy,
your work will be screwed.
Yes, sir.
Sir, I will get to learn a lot from you.
I see. You seem to be respecting me.
-No. -I am the greedy one.
I am not egoistic.
What happened? Did Dr. Singh drive you away?
Sir, he insults people more than you do.
This is no longer your concern.
You can go home.
I'll take my parents to the temple. I'll be back in two days.
Go to the temple, perform veneration, and become a priest.
Collect your full and final payment from the account department.
Good luck.
Good job.
What was he saying?
You are fired.
He said good job.
You are an idiot, pal.
Pull it.
Hold it straight.
Against the wall.
Hold it down.
-Down. -Hey.
Hold it down.
Here, it is 18.
18 feet. That means the courtyard is 18 feet by 30 feet.
Here, it says 21 feet by 28 feet.
-What is the width of the staircase? -1 foot.
We have made it 1.5 feet.
-What's illegal? The stairs or the courtyard? -Both.
No. When the plan was sanctioned,
the courtyard was big and the staircase was small.
The contractor said since the stairs take up more space,
we should widen them.
This should be acceptable.
Dad, tell us what exactly he said.
He said nothing. He just gave us the notice.
Yes.
What if we show them the cause and they don't like it?
They will demolish the house and take away the land.
-How can they do it? -What will the municipality
gain from such a small house?
What else? They will build a public toilet here.
-That's not done. -The city needs public toilets.
Are you counting them?
I told you he has an affinity for bathrooms.
Hey, stop this nonsense now.
Our house is not sitting in the middle of a market
for the municipality to build a toilet here.
Dad, imagine. If a public toilet comes up in place of this house,
Bittu's mom will be enraged upon learning that.
-Indeed, that's true. -Right.
Yes.
At least they will have a roof over their head.
-But you will be homeless. -Hey.
Stop joking and read what it says.
-Read it. -Hey.
Read it, Mr. Novelist. Read it.
House Construction Rules 1973 has been mentioned.
-According to this, a serious criminal... -Serial.
Yes. And has been at large for quite some time,
then as per rule 83, his house can be confiscated.
But Santosh Mishra is neither a criminal nor is he at large.
-He's not serious. -It's serial.
Exactly, dad.
It also says that if a person hasn't followed
the legal process of constructing a house,
the municipality will take action against him.
-In other words, a bulldozer. -I get it.
Dad, if they run a bulldozer on an illegal building,
what's the guarantee that the legal structure be unharmed?
-That's true. -It's a bulldozer, not a needle.
It won't work with pinpoint accuracy.
Every wall is in danger.
All right. Make note of one more point.
The municipality will also charge us for running the bulldozer.
Should we pay for the bulldozer that is demolishing our house?
This is the limit.
-One more thing. -Read it.
It's not here.
I was saying that let's get the illegal staircase demolished.
Bittu's mom uses it to sneak in anytime.
Then how will you climb on the terrace? From Bittu's house?
Hey, brother, we get good ladders made of bamboo.
We'll get one, use it whenever needed and keep it aside when not in use.
Speak sense for a change, dear.
Dad. If the staircase is demolished,
we will have parking space at home.
We can have a car. Hold the steering and park it here.
-Not a bad idea. -There is a mirror attached as well.
-Is it a big car or a small one? -It's a 7-seater, dad.
-I, too, can hop on. -Sure!
-Turn on the AC. -Sure.
-Play some music. -Here it comes.
Come on, mom! Come on!
Hello.
What say, mom?
I would say that the men of the Mishra family have lost it completely.
They behave strangely
and start driving imaginary 7-seater cars and flying aeroplanes.
What do you mean by the men of the Mishra family?
It is you who gave birth to these two.
They must have inherited this madness from you.
What did they inherit from you and your dad? The notice from the municipality?
I am telling you. Don't drag dad into this.
I am not doing it, the municipality is.
Think of an idea to solve this problem.
-I will solve it. -How will you?
-I will... -Tell me.
-Tell me! -Mom, hang on!
-The madness... Cook some disappointment. -Hey.
-It's called 'Tehri'. -Right. 'Tehri'.
Dad, what caused this enquiry?
I called up and they said some new government officer is here.
-He gave government contracts to four bulldozer contractors. -Four!
Yes. That has instilled fear in all.
People have started calling him 'Bulldozer Man' out of fear.
Did the Bulldozer man place some demands
or ask for houses to be demolished right away?
He has sent a show-cause notice.
-I called up and said. -Yes.
Replying to the notice won't solve the problem. To that, he replied this.
-Give it. -Give what?
Grease his palms and everything will be fine.
You mean convenience charge, right?
I said the same, but he said inconvenience charge.
We must pay him to get out of this inconvenience.
Dad, what's the problem?
Call it whatever. Bribe, convenience fee.
Say it whatever. Pay the greedy guy and put an end to this.
No, dear. What is wrong will remain as such.
The wrong has been done. Things will be rectified now.
I suggest sending an apology to the Bulldozer man
and get the right plan sanctioned. Bribe him if needed.
No! We can't give in to such corrupt practices.
Do you remember what happened with Dubey?
He was dragged from the air-conditioned bathroom.
-Dad, his property was seized. -Hey, hang on. Seized, he says.
-Dad, he was accepting a bribe. You are giving it. -So?
Giving bribes makes one respectable.
The one who takes it loses respect. For instance,
Uncle Pinky.
-Pinky? -Yes.
How did Pinky lose respect?
-Don't you know? -No.
Last year, Uncle Pinky took a contract
to admit students in engineering colleges, under management quota.
One chap would visit him every day for three days
to procure a seat through the proper channel.
But Uncle Pinky...
He made the chap make tea for him, and chop vegetables the next day
and also asked him to do the dishes.
The chap turned out to be an alpha male. He refused out rightly.
'You are exploiting me, sir!'
He did the right thing. What did Pinku say?
He replied 'I am like your father.'
'Along with engineering, you will learn moral education'
'as well if I ask you to carry out a few tasks.'
The chap left from there and the next day,
he got thick wads of cash.
And then
Uncle Pinky touched the money.
He changed his approach. Offered the lad a seat
and told him to consider this to be his engineering seat.
Uncle was the Charles Bukowski.
-What's that? Okay. -He's a writer.
And...
Dad, that is when I realised that the one who gives a bribe is respected.
The one who accepts it loses respect.
No.
Dear. I won't be able to give it.
If you can do it, let me call him
and you give him the envelope.
I'll reply to the notice.
No, dad. I have an important meeting. My manager is after me.
Don't look at me. You said you would get
into your element if trouble befalls us.
Now, you hesitate to act when we are in trouble.
You must solve this.
When did he say that?
-Dad, can I be of some help? -Mom.
Lucky was badly humiliated by our manager.
If this happens to me, I won't get my salary.
-If that... -As if you are paying for my expenses.
-Who pays for your expenses then? -Come and eat food.
This is something we need to...
'The notice sent from court,'
'ballot paper,'
'papers of dowry,'
'papers of school admission.'
'There are many such papers in India.'
'People living in this country slip into depression'
'when the government asks them to submit legal papers.'
'But he knows which paper will help him maintain the status quo.'
'You know.'
'The paper which carries the signature of RBI governor'
'and reads 'I promise to pay the bearer so and so amount'.'
'Deals involving this paper bring fear and tension.'
'These two are scary entities'
'but they have improved the immunity of middle-class people.'
Ma'am, don't you have cream biscuits?
I just asked casually. Never mind.
The solution has come to you.
-Yes. -Mr. Mishra.
Such work usually takes a lot of time.
-Hello, sir. -Hello, dear.
Aman, go.
Go to the terrace.
It's a hot, sunny day, dad.
The elders are talking.
You should obey as we say.
If you disobey us, dad won't buy you a motorcycle or chocolates.
Go now.
I am not a toddler, sir.
I am going.
Have some tea.
It's better if kids gain wisdom late in life, Mr. Mishra.
Yes.
I hope you have prepared a reply to the notice.
-No... Not... -Never mind. Take it easy.
Take a couple of days.
Have you done the important work?
What?
The important work?
Annu's mom!
Hey. How come you are here, Bittu's mom?
She just crossed the terrace and came here.
-Annu's mom, do you have a guest? -What...
Listen.
The gentleman from the municipality,
you have parked your scooter in front of our house. Move it.
How do you know he is from the municipality?
It's a blue scooter with red-coloured words that read
'Executive, Municipality.'
Is that done?
Your guest parks his scooter in front of our house.
Ma'am, it's a matter of a few minutes. He will be leaving soon.
Will his scooter be parked in front of our house till then?
-What will people say? -What will they say?
They will say that our house will soon be demolished.
None of our relatives works in the municipality.
Ma'am, the municipality has done a lot of work for people's good.
Really? What good work brings you here?
Nothing, ma'am. It's a petty work. He'll leave soon.
Fine. Go on.
I'll wait.
Sir, move your scooter. It won't take long.
Okay. Yours is 534,
then hers would be 535, right?
-It's 536. -I see.
Son, why are you staring at me? Move!
This is unbelievable. I have to move it now.
Annu's dad, suffering from bowel movements?
-No. -Your expression indicates it.
This is how my husband looks when he has loose motions.
He looks deeply distressed.
An unwell man faces a lot.
I force him to drink the medicinal syrup.
-Sir, shall I get it for you? -No.
No, Bittu's mom. Everyone is doing well here.
Really?
If so, why are you people so quiet?
Even Aman, the one who is so talkative, is standing quietly.
Aunt, you always remain quiet. That's why you feel we talk a lot.
He said it. The brat said it.
Dear, you have grown up now.
What if I take offence to your words
and stop visiting you, Annu's mom?
-Come, aunt. Let me take you to the staircase and apologise. -Yes.
-Oh. -Hey, dear.
-I shall go. -Yes.
Come, Aman. Apologise to me on the staircase...
-Aman, get cream biscuits. -Sure, mom.
All right, let's resolve this.
-Sir. -Yes.
-Where did you park the scooter? -In front of your door. Why?
You see, none of our relatives work in the municipality.
So, people may ask us why you came here.
Hey. Consider this notice to be a monkey
that has entered your house. My scooter is like its tail.
Drive the monkey away, the tail will also be gone.
It is the tail that got this monkey here.
The monkey will be here unless you give it what it wants, Mr. Mishra.
I don't think you want the monkey to go, Mr. Mishra.
Your monkey seems to be suffering from malnutrition.
It's a monkey, not a bear.
Should I serve a full meal to it?
The bulldozer contractor charges more than this to demolish a wall.
You wish to protect your house.
Really?
Okay.
Tell me a suitable figure.
Something that's a multiple of 2.5.
One, twice, thrice. Four times 2.5 is 10.
-Enough! -Enough?
That is way too much.
Give it. I'll count.
Hey, congratulations!
Mr. Mishra, shall I tell you something?
Don't waste more money on this house.
That's enough.
-What? -It's done.
Forget this courtyard
and buy an apartment with a balcony on the 10th floor.
I can refer you to a friend who is a builder.
There's no hurry.
All right. Congratulations.
No. Wait.
What about the reply to the notice?
You may give it later.
Sir, I gave you an envelope.
So, you tell me what I should write in the reply.
Mr. Mishra, do I look like a writer to you?
You have been sent the notice. So, you should write it.
This is wrong, sir.
You are either lazy or greedy.
Really?
-What do you think I am? -You are both!
I gave you the envelope. You must do the work.
The work is done, sir.
Send a reply to the show cause notice.
I assure you that there will be no enquiry.
That's not done.
How can I write just about anything?
This is about my house.
Would you be so careless if it were about your house?
Mr. Mishra, I am getting late.
I am not here to put up with this nonsense.
Wait, sir.
We have paid tax for the money I just gave you.
I didn't earn it by issuing notices.
I have no ulterior motive either.
I have paid you and demand your service now.
So, you must write a reply to the notice. Okay?
What if I refuse to do it?
Really?
Then you should return the envelope, take your scooter
and leave.
Do you know what I will do when you leave?
I will expose you in my written response.
Who will you write it to?
To your boss, the Bulldozer man.
I know for a fact
that I am not the only victim. There are many.
I'll take signatures from a few of them.
I'll make a few copies of the same and give it to journalist friends of mine.
All this will cost me very little money compared to what I paid you.
I don't care if my house is demolished.
It's great if you build a three-storey house. But your arrogance
should be less than that of mine.
Mr. Mishra, you are getting angry for no reason.
You should've said that you are lazy.
The reply is short. I'll message it to you. Copy it.
I can also send it in writing.
If you have a problem giving me money, Mr. Mishra,
-take it back. -No.
-No. Please take it. -No.
I can't take it back, sir.
You see, I have never given such envelopes to anyone before.
Today, I gave it to you and it has brought such arrogance in me.
Oh.
It feels awesome.
A municipality notice has been issued to the blue scooter parked outside.
Such uncouth people!
Did you issue a lot of notices?
Dad, he seems to be quite angry.
Hey. Brother Anand.
Dad, have you messed with the wrong guy?
Not at all, dear. He is a fraud.
His fear won't let him live.
What if a bulldozer comes to raze our house?
We shall see that.
But I will live peacefully as long as this house is safe.
Want some tea?
Along with cream biscuits.
-Shall I tell you something? -Yes.
You are amazing.
You know how to protect the house and its walls.
Listen. Let's go to the Thursday Market
to buy curtains.
Okay.
'Nation, time, situations.'
'These are terms used in astrology.'
'In order to say that anything is right or wrong, as per these,'
'one must pay attention to the place where a work is being done'
'and also to the time and situation prevailing.'
'Bribe is an addictive evil.'
'The middle class uses it as a necessary evil.'
'A man's fear and self-respect haunts him while accepting bribe'
'but while giving it, a man gets arrogant.'
'The arrogance of giving bribe.'
'Whether this arrogance of Santosh Mishra is good or bad,'
'that is something which'
'the nation, time and situation shall decide.'