This is a chimp.
He'll travel to Mars.
Mars.
We... are humans.
And we aren't going anywhere.
We'll stay right here and keep troubling each other.
By the way, for your information, I must tell you...
that I was born with this condition.
Not the one I'm having now. I meant cerebral palsy.
As a result, I can speak fluently only in my thoughts.
In reality...
Don't force me.
Aafia, give it to me.
I sound like this.
Was that funny?
Did you have fun?
Now can I get on with the story?
This gun is not to shoot myself.
It's for someone else.
But if they try to stop me, I swear I will kill myself.
Which reminds me...
The stressed woman that you see is my mother.
And that's my father.
I am half Afghani and half Punjabi.
They love me a lot.
Although I didn't make many mistakes in life...
but no matter what I did, they stood by me.
Even though I had a condition, they never let me lose courage.
They gave me an education which made me capable enough
to be a senior mathematician in America's premier space organization.
I made a zero-gravity simulator on Earth.
And now I am planning the world's first manned mission to Mars.
I'll be giving a seminar before thousands of people today
for sending this chimp on Mars.
But there's going to be another guest at this seminar.
I am far more eager to see him than he is to come here.
But first, let him show up.
By the way, this story doesn't begin from where I did.
But it was important for me to let you hear my voice.
Even though you might be laughing at things right now,
let me tell you that this story is about me...
as much as it is about that funny man.
I just want you to take care of yourself,
and not get lost in the crowd,
or get conned by anybody,
or let someone's cuteness fool you.
Like I did.
Sorry for the interruption.
Now you can hear the story from where it actually begins.
Please let me go.
Catch her.
Stop!
Where to, princess?
-Let me go. -Scream all you want.
-Scream! -Leave me.
Let the toughest man in Meerut save you from me.
-Is anyone there? -Ashok!
May the good Lord forgive us!
Can't you speak French?
Times have changed, boy.
Your father must be "the boy." My name is Bauua Singh.
Bauua!
Oh, no! That same dream.
Did you save my honor again in your dream?
-Yes. -Bauua.
Your friends are here.
Your father is calling you for breakfast.
Bring me tea. Wash your hands first.
-Bauua. -Who's that?
-Bauua. -Bauua.
Bauua come out.
Your Majesty! Good morning.
What's up?
Look! The new iPhone.
Sire, this jewel in rags...
has brought great news for you.
Your heart will melt. You'll be singing devotional songs.
-The most delightful news ever. -Read it out!
Yes.
"Babita Kumari's heart has been broken again."
"At director Imtiaz Ali's party...
the spat between Babita Kumari and her boyfriend intensified.
They were cast in Anurag Kashyap's next film...
but Babita has refused to work."
-Here's your tea. -"At a party,
her close friend Shamina Khan let slip the reason why.
She said he's involved with another actress.
Has it happened again?
Has Babita Kumari's heart been broken by another flirt?"
Your bride has missed the wedding bus.
Bless you.
Guddu, that's terrific news.
It's Eid today. Give these guys a 500-rupee bundle.
It'll make their day.
Hold on.
Behave you guys.
-Is he up yet? -No.
He'll wake up only when I'll die.
Have your breakfast. Stop nagging him. He's just a kid.
Only in height. He eats like a full-grown man.
You're impossible!
I slave away while mister wants fresh orange juice.
I am not his father...
but a source of money to him.
Keep them coming.
Hey, orphans! Enjoy biryani in my bride's name.
Hey, you!
Stop!
-The entire neighborhood has shown up. -Wait!
Incompetent idiots!
Snatch the cash from him.
-Have your breakfast. -I won't spare him today.
There you are!
Squandering my money!
-He's a kid. -A kid, my foot!
He's a leech.
Don't talk nonsense, Ashok.
Your bad habits made me short.
What's wrong if I spend your money?
My bad habits?
Is my height my fault?
All that tobacco-chewing stunted your genes.
-Shut up! -My genes?
It's stunted. I've read about it.
Kusum, either I'll kill him or you kill me.
Try saying that when a cop's twisting his stick inside you.
-Go on. Hit me. -Go downstairs for my sake.
-I'll stop your merrymaking. -Go!
-I'm taking your car. -Be my guest!
Even your belt's too soft.
Bauua, why are you after him?
Look at my height. He owes me, Mom.
It's God's will that you're a dwarf.
Your God has had His way. Now it's my turn.
Give me my suit and the bowler hat.
I'm seeing my love's new movie.
Mom, I've told you so many times.
Don't cry!
-Found your perfect wife? -Pandey is looking for a girl.
-Nigaar cinema. -Hey, how are you?
How many passengers?
Just me, the small kid and my father.
Why are you joking, sir? You're a grown man.
Why are you asking then?
-I'll charge 20 rupees. -It's ten for Nigaar cinema.
Is it? Then pay me five rupees and pull the rickshaw yourself.
Ten rupees per passenger, no matter what.
-Can you pull us all? -Yes.
Give me five!
We're off to see my love's movie. Come!
Come! I'll show you the movie for free.
Come on, everybody!
Come and enjoy Babita's latest movie!
There are two sexy dance numbers in the movie!
He can pull us all.
Come on.
Guddu, should I call Junaid?
Forget it! He likes Deepika Padukone and Hollywood movies.
Come with us. There's tons of room here.
We still have the night left to spend
It’s a tale of unfaithful love
There’s a sandalwood scented Eastern breeze with us
The screen is that way!
You always fail at love
I’m burning in this devotion of love
There’s a misty impudence surrounding us
Become useful to me today
Don’t think about tomorrow
I will drop you at home Why do you still have worries?
The beauty conquers your heart
Showcase some strength
The beauty conquers
The matrimonial agency is calling.
Yes, Pandey?
Celebrate?
Celebrate what?
Are you drunk? I'll be there tomorrow.
-What is it? -Nothing.
Come on.
Bring the three Khans with you. Here I am, sweetheart.
Why did Pandey call you so early?
I have a bad feeling.
Mr. Singh.
When's the wedding?
What are you saying, Pandey?
Don't trap me in this for your commission.
You've introduced me to many girls for months.
I didn't like one.
What's so special about her?
I didn't care for able girls.
Why would a disabled girl interest me?
-Disabled? -Yes!
I asked him to introduce me to more girls. Didn't I tell you?
-Yes. -He's right.
But now I know what you were up to.
You should've told me before getting intimate with her.
My God! What have you done?
What's wrong with her?
She's pretty and educated.
She belongs to a good family, has a great job.
But...
-there are a few problems. -Like what?
Physical ones.
Not like he's exactly a catch!
When he sits, his feet can't touch the ground and he wants a beauty.
Right.
You were having...
a love affair.
No.
Will you betray her? Turn your back on love?
Love? What's happening, Bauua?
-You didn't tell me. God forgive us. -Exactly.
No, man.
What do you mean?
It started five months ago, on 27th January.
You were looking at photos of prospective brides...
and I entered through that door.
It was a miserable day.
You came all the way from Meerut in this terrible storm?
Bachelors at 38...
aren't scared of storms.
You've seen so many photos.
No girl in Asia is worthy of you.
You lied to me. You hid this diamond in a coal mine.
This?
-Where did you find this? -In your desk drawer.
She's unavailable. So I hid it.
I've paid you so much, you should be available to me as well.
-What are you saying? -What?
Mr. Singh, she's not meant for you.
I think she is.
My friend, she shakes a lot.
I'll shake along with her.
Introduce us.
Don't take this road.
I will!
Mr. Singh,
even people who hide their relationships, end up getting married.
Aafia Yusufzai Bhinder. What kind of name is that?
Some people have the oddest names. So does she.
Half Afghani, half Punjabi.
Oh, God! Then? What did you do?
Then?
I landed up at her school.
Good heavens!
There was no wheelchair in the photo.
-What? -Girls only. Scoot!
Fine, I am going.
Stop!
-Where are you going? -Nowhere!
-Why are you this fancy dress? -It's my birthday.
-And those doves? -Which ones?
-Give them to me. -Stop!
They cost 5,000, idiot!
Are you insulting me?
If I had married in time, I would have had brats like you by now.
Don't pull my ear.
No pulling.
Let go. I'll bite you.
Did Pandey send you?
Bauua Singh?
S... Singh.
I didn't know my name could be pronounced that way. Say it again.
What's wrong? You're leaving?
Listen to me!
I brought a pair of doves for you.
But those brats let them escape. Please take this.
Like doves, thorns are not scared of dying.
For you.
Isn't that Dilip Kumar's dialogue?
You're no Madhubala either. It's a compliment.
The canteen here has great snacks.
Want some?
You want her autograph? Queue up.
Aren't these kids nasty?
What made you think you could ever marry me?
Marry? What's the harm in seeing?
I am just window-shopping.
Do you know who am I?
You found water on Mars or something?
You should look for water in Meerut. We don't get the facility for days.
Looks like your brain is even smaller than you are.
The way you're guzzling down those pakodas,
dipping them in chutney.
I bet you haven't even passed seventh grade.
Tenth grade.
Tenth grade!
Watch it!
May your mother elope with a barber! Don't touch me. I'll hit you.
Wait.
Be polite and take uncle to the door.
Uncle? I'm just 38.
You!
-Then? -Then what?
I returned.
-Look! What is this? -Shall I explain?
What...
-Brother. -Yes.
What is this?
A dance contest.
The winner will attend a party with Babita Kumari.
-Really? -Yes.
Can you enroll me in the contest? I can dance.
-Hey! -Shall I make you dance?
Tell me what happened next?
You're playing the innocent. You must've done it!
Tell me the truth.
First, I roasted those cursed doves.
-This chicken piece is so tiny. -It's a dwarf.
God forgive us!
As usual my father kept saying I was a good-for-nothing.
He's been sucking my blood.
Exhausted, he fell asleep.
Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one... zero!
I couldn't sleep.
That mean girl, that Shahid Kapoor lookalike.
5,000 angels of death swooped past me.
I was so angry that I shot down 200 stars that night.
Dad stopped me.
Don't empty the sky.
You should sell tickets for your magic show.
Lend me 500 rupees.
-Shall I take my belt off? -Ten, nine, eight, seven, six...
What belt? Are you going to hit me with your drawstring?
It was pointless living without taking revenge, Guddu.
I wanted sweet revenge.
Move aside.
Hello, my loose cannon.
You may have found water on Mars or tomatoes elsewhere, so what?
Did it help you?
Don't laugh too much!
You humiliated me in front of 5,000 people yesterday. It's my turn now.
Ladies and gentlemen!
I could've been taller, but not like she's a lanky Amitabh Bachchan.
I'm small in stature but my limbs work.
All she can do is shake.
Give me that pen. I'll show you something.
If this pen falls...
I can pick it up. But she can't.
Bauua Singh may be uneducated and live off his father...
but I can stand on my own feet.
Let's see if she picks up the pen.
Come on.
Keep watching her. Look where you're going, mister.
THE KID-FACED DEVIL.
NASTY DWARF.
She did not just lift the pen but she touched my heart.
I'm used to my father's insults, so it wasn't her insulting me.
The problem was she didn't even look at me.
I'm a dwarf! People pay money to see dwarfs in a circus.
It would've cost her nothing. But she didn't look at me.
For me, it was double or nothing.
No more doves. It was time for a bouquet.
Long live the Goddess!
"Don't take me for a stone. Don't turn away, my rose.
Like dew, I just caressed your cheeks."
This isn't a Dilip Kumar dialogue. It's mine. I wrote it for you.
Aafia, till 03:30 last night, I had been despising you.
But by 03:45, I fell in love.
Really?
Straight to love?
Yes.
I thought you had a crush on me.
Right?
Yes! Crush is the word.
God has had His will. No one on earth can help me now.
I came to apologize.
It's customary to bring flowers.
May I?
Never mind.
Size does not matter to dreams.
This small man has dreamt of you.
Forgive me, Aafia.
Well... shall I go?
Stop me from walking away.
Oh, Goddess, will You crush me again? To hell with you, Pandey.
You found the prettiest ones for everyone and you find her for me?
She humiliated me again in front of everyone.
"Don't take me for a stone. Don't turn away, my rose.
Like dew, I just caressed your cheeks."
This isn't a Dilip Kumar dialogue. It's mine.
Aafia, till 03:30 last night, I had been despising you.
But by 03:45, I fell in love.
God has had His will. No one on earth can help me now.
Size does not matter to dreams. This small man has dreamt of you.
I came to apologize.
This time I've brought you a plant.
Please accept it.
I'm off.
I'm going.
I swear I am leaving.
Have some shame!
Stop me this time!
Get rid of your dimple. Don't act over-smart.
Then I might talk to you.
I didn't buy my dimples.
I was born with them. God's gift, ma'am.
What do you want?
I've come so far to meet you.
You could offer me tea, coffee, a cold drink or wine.
Here. Have a drink.
If I had to drink alone...
a Meerut bar would do.
Have one.
Go on!
Cheers!
To your smile.
Aafia,
if you're unlucky, we'll meet again.
Won't you ask me to pick up a pen today?
You'll take my life, Aafia. What's a pen?
Can I be cheeky and request you to dance with me?
I can't dance.
I used to think I could never love.
Give yourself a chance, my sweet lady.
Play a Shammi Kapoor song.
I don't have any.
A Rishi Kapoor song?
Well...
Play a song by any one of the Kapoor dynasty.
Yes.
A Shashi Kapoor number?
Play it!
Oh, my God
This crazy heart of mine Has weaved such magic
That you have
Fallen in love with me
That I have
Fallen in love with you
Oh, my God
My heart tells me
It's God's truth
My heart tells me
It's God's truth
The world does not believe it
But I'm crazy about you
I'm not a garden Not a star
I'm not a dark cloud I'm just a shadow
You have
Fallen in love with me
Oh, my God
How was it?
Another drink?
The rover that went to Mars... What's it called?
Goodness! I'm so drunk!
Sunil?
No.
It's called...
I knew that. "Velocity."
Who asked NSAR
to send a rover to Mars?
"Velocity" was sent by...
-Who sent it? -I did.
Is it?
-I see. -And...
who told NSAR that...
Who did?
I did.
Amazing.
Who told them...
-Who did? -I did.
Who said...
-That's why I'm here. -Who?
I... came to India.
I came.
If you're here in India, it must be you.
Amazing. You came here...
She found water on Mars, and you refuse her a drink?
Look at her!
Don't look. Aafia, shall I hit him?
The toilet is shaking. Give me a sip.
Try some lemon.
So, who told--
Enough, my friend. Is NSAR all we can talk about?
Do I brag about saving Satish's shop when the council came to destroy it?
-Who saved it? -I did.
Right.
They came with bulldozers to raze it to the ground.
Do I brag? I did this. I did that. It doesn't sound good.
Are you making fun of me? Naughty!
Acting over-smart again?
But no dimples this time! It still worked.
Where's the leak?
Duffer! I need the toilet, to pee.
Alright.
What shall I do?
You? I'm the one who has to do it.
I'll wait outside. Call me when you're done.
Outside? You're my friend.
Stay put. Just turn around.
We're in the ladies washroom. There might be some aunties around.
I'll deal with them. Don't be mistaken.
I'm not your friend.
If I said I was your friend, would you have let me stay?
Come in, aunty. I'm a kid.
I found water on Mars and the rascal won't give me a drink.
-Come here. -Now I'll look for alcohol on Mars.
You didn't answer me.
If I said I was your friend, would you have let me stay?
-You missed your chance. -No way.
If I went for this chance, I might lose other chances.
God forbid I ever become your friend!
I'm gone.
Aafia, did anyone tell you...
how pretty sweat looks on your face?
Yes. My mom did.
You'll look even prettier with colors on you. It's Holi tomorrow!
Play Holi with me.
I bet you'll have fun.
Don't forget your place, Bauua Singh.
I'm way out of your league.
That's very kind of you, Aafia.
I can find dozens like you.
Why like me?
-I like uneducated types. -I can be the intellectual one.
I've seen many English films.
Now I'll say goodnight.
Keep waiting if you want to waste your time.
Bauua!
So, your head was against the door. Like this?
How romantic! Standing at her door. Then?
The usual.
What? Sex?
No, fool! A song.
Guddu, the orchestra cost 250,000. 150,000 for their costumes.
50,000 bribe for the Imperial Hotel's manager.
80,000 to hire the nasty kids. 20,000 for color sprays.
Plus my suit at 150,000.
I didn't want to, but ended up spending 600,000 of Dad's money.
Thanks to the Goddess, at last the girl looked at this dwarf.
What color is that color
Which doesn’t exactly match The color of your lips
What fragrance is that fragrance
Which doesn’t halt in front of Your beautiful tresses
The whole world seems pale In comparison to you
Except mine, You won’t become anyone else’s
Everyone can see it I say this out loud
As long as there's light in the world
You'll belong to me
As long as I live in this world
You'll belong to me
As long as there's light in the world
You'll belong to me
As long as I live in this world
You'll belong to me
I am your trouble
As well as the solution to your trouble
I'm a little stubborn
A little crazy as well
How false are the clouds And spring showers
How false is offering a gift of flowers
You are real I am real
My heart speaks the only truth
Etch your name on my heart With your lovely hands
Open your eyes to my love
Is it such a difficult task?
I say this out loud
As long as there's light in the world
You'll belong to me
As long as I live in this world
You'll belong to me
As long as there's light in the world
You'll belong to me
As long as I live in this world
You'll belong to me
Forever you will sway in my loving arms
Like the Earth sways In the arms of the Sun
You will never be apart from me
Forever you will be a part of me
Shatter all my dreams if you wish
Even those broken dreams Will belong to you
You already have an intuition about this
I say this out loud
As long as I live in this world
You'll belong to me
As long as I live in this world
You'll belong to me
Sir!
Your romancing will get my family thrown out on the street.
I'll be fired.
Shut up! She's impressed.
I should shut up? Pass me the agreement.
Where does it say you'll ruin this place?
We agreed you would spray colors, there would be some musicians.
That's all!
Bauua.
Bauua, give me 100 rupees and I'll tell you something.
Your father wants you home.
I paid you to hear this?
Naughty! What's this?
Did you get paralyzed?
You sang to her.
Now you're in love. What else? Why are you denying it?
She fell in love with me. And I started loving myself.
-Then? -The usual.
Another song? You just sang.
No!
God forgive us!
Do you know...
Why the moon is sometimes a half moon?
Yes.
Because the other half sits on the Imperial Hotel balcony.
-Trying to be smooth? -Trying?
Showing me your dimples, making me a fool.
I know your ways.
Well...
let me try another technique.
Look!
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one... zero.
Do it...
again.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one... zero.
How did you do it?
Can you also make the moon fall?
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one--
Let it be.
There's only one moon.
So...
if we have sex now...
your job's done, right?
It's all you wanted?
That's what I thought, but...
But?
But...
It's hard for me to say this.
It's insulting for me.
But...
I'm in love with you.
Wait. What are you doing?
Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.
What a scandal! Then?
It's been a month to that night. I haven't seen her since.
I've got a new number.
Don't fly too high! Clever crows can end up eating crap as well.
I've had my share of crap. I'll just be the clever crow now.
And fly high.
You hurt her.
-God will take His revenge. -What more revenge can He take?
Remember when my father used to pay tax in advance? I've paid as well.
And if God asks me about anything...
We cover our faces.
-Don't believe her. -She's bluffing.
To hell with you, Pandey.
-What is it? -Can you eat sweets?
What happened, Bauua?
Dear...
He's back. Wait a second.
-Give her the samosa. -Yes.
-Come here. -I don't know her. Listen.
What's going on?
Look at me.
Are you dumping her?
Bauua!
Scoundrel.
You talk non-stop. Why can't you say anything now?
That's our Bauua.
Yes, I know.
You don't get it? He's always going to look small.
I won't look different 25 years from now either.
True.
You're lucky.
You found a girl who'll marry you.
Even boys would say no to you.
Are you cheating on her?
They both are ready. Fix the wedding date.
Find an auspicious day. Quickly!
He's getting married at last!
He's finally getting married.
I am not getting married.
I'll hang myself.
-Listen, Ashok. -How will he hang himself?
Where's everybody?
Aunty.
-Guddu, let's celebrate. -Celebrate?
How can you all eat?
He'll commit suicide.
-Who? -Bauua, who else?
Listen, Guddu. That's just typical of him.
He shouts his head off. No one can say a word to him.
Before anyone calls him a dwarf...
he stuffs money in their face. Or pelts stones.
His strutting is a sham.
I'll buy you a shop if he commits suicide.
God! What kind of mother are you?
The real one.
Yes, listen.
I want 75 boxes of sweets.
Not 80, 75.
Move aside.
Fine.
Bauua, what are you doing here?
While the rest of the city is jumping with joy.
Shut those women up. My head's splitting.
Babita's coming to the mall tonight.
Babita, who?
Babita Kumari!
The woman of your dreams.
My prospective sister-in-law.
The one who'll enter this house with bridal bells on her feet.
The one who'll feed your children.
The one who'll have your name tattooed with henna.
The irony of love!
Before I die, she has come to meet me in person.
God is Great!
Don't rub any more inches off me.
Get the bike out, Guddu.
Fill my brow with stars
My beloved is here
Babita!
-Jeetuda! -Hurry up, guys.
You were called in two minutes ago.
Oh, man!
Did you bet?
I'll bet 500.
Call him.
He won't pick up.
I know his father as well.
Everyone is a con artist.
How about the best of five, ma'am?
The number you're trying to reach...
Shall I call him again?
Okay. Let's try.
Can I come in?
Yes. No one's bathing.
Shall we leave?
It's a three-hour drive to Meerut.
How much did I lose?
25,000. But you can pay 15,000.
Here. Go, get my bag. I'll pay the rest later.
-Shall we go? -Hello! Costume, make-up and hair.
Clothes done.
Hair done.
I don't need make-up. I am pretty naturally.
Oh, lover, your love is fake
I have seen how selfish you are
You change lovers everyday
I am high on your betrayal
Take a look here.
Stop going crazy.
Oh, lover, your love is fake
I have seen how selfish you are
You change lovers everyday
-I am high on your betrayal -Babita!
Oh, lover, go and tell this to God
That I’m going to rob everyone else today
You are the one responsible for it, Know this
Heer is infamous, Because she fell for your fake love
She proposed to you.
I love you too.
Heer is infamous, Because she fell for your fake love
Babita, my love, look at me once.
Bauua, faster.
-You want me to fly like a helicopter? -Step on it.
Move aside!
Bauua, where are you going?
-Are you following your mother? -No, your sister.
-Your daughter. -No, my sister-in-law.
Got it?
I'll teach you a lesson.
We'll get you.
Give him one.
-Don't flash your torch. Kick him. -Hold on.
-I can't see them. -They're behind us.
You punched me in one eye when we were kids. Remember?
-I can't see. -Kick now!
-You... -Get off.
I paid for your mother's surgery.
Why are you following my love? You dog.
-Is that Acchan? -Yes.
Here. Pay your father's bail.
Grab it. Get your sister married.
Grab it.
Watch it.
Guddu, there's still some jokers around.
Push them under the bus.
Guddu, hold on tight.
Pull the bike.
Got them all.
Stop the car.
Pull over.
What happened? What's going on?
Babita Kumari's car has stopped.
Her car?
She's coming out.
-Out? -Yes.
Guddu, she's calling me.
-God! But why? -How would I know?
Go!
What are you saying, Babita?
Babita.
Bauua!
Bauua.
You left me alone in the dark.
Where's Bauua? Has she taken him away?
Guddu.
Babita kissed me.
Bauua Singh, your mother never kissed your father.
Why would Babita kiss you?
I swear!
She kissed me passionately. The kiss lasted three seconds.
Oh, people of the world!
You have never respected me.
"Look, there goes the dwarf, here comes the dwarf."
Today Babita Kumari kissed the dwarf.
-I'm going to sing a song. -Hey, Bauua!
-I'm going to sing a song. -God forgive us!
Don't say such crazy things, Your Majesty.
You're marrying tomorrow.
Maybe it has given you a brain hemorrhage.
It happens before a wedding. Let's go.
Let me sing first.
We're on our way.
The boy looks nice.
He has cute dimples.
What does he do?
His father owns a big business.
But, Papa...
he's a little short.
So what?
Your granddad was just 5'7".
But what a gem!
-Is he tall enough to reach you? -Yes, he does.
Come, my beloved, Let us meet in the moonlight
Seeing you, the wilderness Will turn to spring
In this rain-soaked night
"I'll walk this road." My foot!
Guddu, I don't want to get married.
I'm not ready.
Enough, Ashok!
Is this a joke?
You said he was short, but this short?
You call this short?
Pritpal, do you call this "short?"
-He's a dwarf. -A dwarf!
You're a top scientist and you want to marry him?
A dwarf?
I'm hardly a Cinderella, Papa.
What can I do if I'm in love with a dwarf?
You've fallen for a school dropout?
Should I have checked his school certificate first?
Papa.
This is the first time I've met someone...
who sees me, not my disability.
He talks to me like a human being.
He doesn't think like others.
"How does one talk to a disabled girl?"
He treats me like a normal girl.
-He doesn't pity me, Papa. -Pity!
A dwarf pitying you?
Enough! Are you marrying him? Or am I?
Papa.
Now I want to see everyone
having a good time here.
Yes, ma'am.
Let's have a Pashto song.
What's Pashto?
-Then play an English song. -I don't have any English songs.
Play a song in any language.
An Afghani song then?
Go on, play!
Papa, remember this song?
Let me ward off the evil eye...
-or you might die. -Get lost.
Your family duped you.
The post office played a trick as well.
What's this?
Remember you enrolled for the Babita dance contest? You're in.
What...
Now dance.
I'll say a prayer in your name
Be it day or night
-It's nice and cool outside. -Bauua, come inside.
-Bauua. -What?
-Congratulations! -Fine. Fine.
These notes aren't fake. Give them to me later.
I think you should take him to America.
-What's up? -I... Uncle?
Go on. You can talk to uncle.
Uncle, where's the toilet?
Do it anywhere.
Go ahead.
He pees in small amounts.
Take him with you. Charge people to see him.
Come this side.
Come on.
Come on. What are you doing?
Aunty!
-How are you related? -Her aunt.
Okay, you stay.
-And you? -Her father's brother's--
Out. Anyone who doesn't know how they're related must go.
All you distant cousins, just get out!
Kids, go outside.
What are you doing, Bauua?
What I'm about to say, and what you're about to hear...
only your close relatives...
will be of help to you.
In every love story, there comes a time, when a man says, "Let's get married."
My father and you didn't give me that time to decide.
You visited our house. Two days later, it was done.
Third day, wedding rituals kicked off. Fourth day, we are about to get married.
Now I stand before you, a bridegroom.
Are you proposing now?
Proposing? I'm against the wedding, Aafia.
I'm like the cuckoo.
I can't build my own nest.
I lay eggs in the nests of other birds.
This wedding...
I am helpless.
I really can't.
You're an American. Why did you agree to marry me?
I took you for a modern girl. You drink and have fun.
But...
How come you suddenly became the traditional wife?
You'll look odd fasting for the health of your husband.
Come here.
How old are you, Bauua?
38.
Meaning?
In all these 38 years...
have you found anyone besides me...
whom you could look in the eye and talk to?
Everyone towers over you.
How long will you crane your neck?
You can look at me straight in the eye and so can I.
We're made for each other.
Why be a cuckoo at your age, Bauua?
Build your own nest.
Don't, Aafia.
My heart hears you.
But it doesn't want to listen to you.
Control both your hearts.
Have a drink if you need to.
Go and sit in the groom's chair.
Don't be scared.
The operation will be over before you know it.
But if there's something else, tell me.
What is this?
I've been selected for a dance contest.
The winner gets a chance to meet Babita Kumari.
So?
You've hardly been selected to an Ivy League college.
Babita Kumari kissed me yesterday.
Look at your height, Bauua.
If Babita kissed you...
then I'm carrying Leonardo DiCaprio's child.
You've ruined my make-up. Go!
You know...
I was born a cuckoo...
I'll die as one.
Don't be sad.
I'll run away.
"I'll run away." As if!
Go, wait outside.
Small chap, sit down!
No, brother.
I'm not staying. No.
-Shall I show you a magic trick? -What trick?
-Can you count? -Yes.
-So, count. One. -One.
-Two. -Two.
-Three. -Three.
Where are you going?
Stop!
Damn you, people of Meerut!
Get lost!
Stop!
He is gone.
Where to, mister?
You'll belong to me
A man is basically 4'6".
Anything above that is arrogance.
Babita made me arrogant by kissing me.
Now I'm a six-footer.
I've left behind my family, friends and Aafia.
But Bauua Singh would never leave behind his courage.
Bauua Singh has won five dance rounds...
by defeating his rivals and winning their hearts.
He's through the semi-finals
and now Bauua Singh comes for the grand finale of the show.
He will now have to dance against two contestants.
We will not decide who wins.
My friends, I present to you...
the glory of "Dabangg," the life of "Tiger"
Salman Khan!
Towers over
All others
I drank the nectar of love
And lost all sense of reason
I am the great lover
Let no one come in my way
The look in her eyes makes my head spin
Since she became mine
The world seems full of lovers
I swear
By God
My heart has been taken over by love
How would you know
Where the bird of love flies in the sky
My love is like a shadow
Falling wherever it pleases
Love pierces your heart With the sharpest dagger
When the pain increases
Then living life is more pleasurable
Our meeting is so unique
He's a wave, I am water
You are the river, I am the shore The waves roll my way
My heart has been taken over by love
I love her deeply
She loves me deeply
I can't live without her
She's incomplete without me
I'll make her turn away from you
You may be her man But she won't listen to you
She has so many admirers, How could she care for you?
You're not tall enough to have big dreams
You've become too big for your boots
You're a crazy Indian, She's a foreign fairy
For me only love counts
That's why I'm an Indian lad, And she's a foreign lass
You've won my heart with your words
Let's be friends, let's shake hands
Let's be friends
Let's shake hands
Aafia!
Babita!
I'll call you later.
Mind your strap, babe.
Sweetheart, that's why they come to see me.
"Babita Kumari can't control herself or her clothes."
"Wardrobe malfunction at her own party!"
Let them enjoy!
"Your eyes are full of pain."
Did he say that to you?
"I have a complaint.
Why didn't we meet before?"
Did he tell you?
Tell me.
Did he ask you to sit on his lap?
Let go!
Stop it.
Vinod, get me a drink.
Four lamps always burning at your alter
And I am the fifth
Hurry, Bauua. Babita is on her way.
-What is this? -Hurry up.
-Keep moving. -Let me finish eating.
There she is.
Bring her here.
Another tacky party.
You are drinking.
You must meet him.
-What is it? Who must I meet? -The winner of the dance contest.
Don't worry.
You look fine.
Have we met before?
I've known you for 15 years.
Yes, we've met in Meerut.
I don't remember.
Keep watching my films.
Was I drunk in Meerut?
Not that drunk.
Did I kiss you?
No way! Meerut guys aren't that lucky.
I do crazy things when I'm drunk.
Good.
It's all good.
Ladies and gentlemen!
You're all such important people.
You have traveled the world and seen so much.
But it's the first time you'll see...
a dwarf plucking stars from the sky.
-Mr. Tiwari. -Yes.
This boy's not on my team.
If he messes up, don't cut my share.
-Okay. -I'll just play the music.
Start!
Come, ma'am. Let me show you some magic.
Ladies, gather around. The show is for you.
Come, ladies.
I've always encouraged new talent.
Show us your star-plucking.
You recognize talent.
Talent knows talent.
I'll show you some magic.
Let's see your magic.
Kajol!
Wait for us.
Hey!
Sridevi, you look wonderful.
Some guy here is promising to pluck stars just like you.
You're a newly-wed.
This is my gift to you. Watch the stars fall.
Long live the Goddess!
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one... zero!
Come on! What's going on?
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one... zero!
It's happening.
It takes time.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one... zero!
Come on!
-This is a new city, that's why. -Maybe they've fallen in Meerut.
Forget Meerut. I can do it here.
Just watch.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one... zero!
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four...
Let it be.
You're not that talented.
Ma'am, give me another minute.
Please wait.
You haven't taken a selfie. Take one.
What?
Why are you laughing?
I'm going tomorrow.
-The moon. -The moon?
-Tried the moon? -Only the stars.
Hey, wait!
But...
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one... zero!
What's wrong?
First time you've been humiliated in public?
Is that why you're sad?
The stars used to listen to me, Babita.
I don't know what's wrong.
Of course they listen.
Whose heart did you break, Shorty?
Yours, hers...
or all the hearts in Meerut?
They're only stars, Shorty.
That scoundrel used to say if I just looked at him...
the ground would slip away.
Rubbish!
I can't even put this glass down.
It's been two months and it's still in my hand.
Shorty, when a heart breaks...
even a wretched dog doesn't hear it.
At least your stars have dignity.
Now that's a good line!
Shall I walk you out?
Is someone like you going to walk out on me as well?
I've left the world for you.
Just say the word. I'll stay glued to you forever.
Say something new.
That's a dialogue from my old film.
You're brokenhearted.
Keep me by your side, I'll amuse you.
I'll make you laugh at least 25 times a day.
Laughing isn't all I want. It's not important.
Then, I will not laugh.
I can advise you on what to wear, the matching make-up.
I already pay my team to do that.
If you're that smart, why is your heart broken so often?
Babita, you understand the world but not people.
And you do?
I can tell the annual budget just by looking at the Finance Minister!
My specialty!
That's useful.
Let me decide if I want you glued to me.
Come to the shoot tomorrow.
-And this director? -An idiot.
-That one? -Shrewd.
Is she a friend or foe?
Neither.
She couldn't care less if you lived or died.
The gangsters are circling the heroine.
And him?
Why does he take my breath away?
Because he's a pillow girls love smothering their faces in.
He pretends to be a poet. Misunderstood by the world.
-But he's a mother... -Enough.
Listen.
Ma'am, shot's ready.
The shot's ready.
Not ready, dear. It's a wrap.
Let's go.
It's a wrap!
Bauua, want a drink?
What's today?
Okay, I'll drink.
Come. Close the door.
I'm plain unlucky. Falling in love with a mother...
Enough! Let's throw up together.
It's coming.
In Uttar Pradesh, people think you're an angel.
That you sprout wings behind closed doors.
Your fame may not matter to you here, but keep your honor in my town.
Get over that man.
He's a cheap guava...
and you're a pricey Kashmiri apple.
I mean it.
You're right.
An expensive...
Kashmiri apple.
With wings!
Come on.
Do you have a large family?
All of Meerut used to be my family.
At home there's mom, dad, my younger brother, his wife and...
-And? -And Aafia.
Aafia? Who's Aafia?
She's a fantastic girl.
Good thing the Goddess put her in a wheelchair.
Or she would be flying in the air.
She's as honest as I'm dishonest.
She was the only one, apart from my mother, who loved me.
I ran away, leaving her in tears.
Why? Did a mad dog bite you?
Not a dog. My dishonesty bit me.
Then one night, India's queen kissed me.
Want a slap? Move your foot!
You've got long legs... please.
So you forgot Aafia?
Don't you miss her? Why are you here?
Because of you.
I do miss her...
but I prefer not to believe it.
How long will you keep scolding yourself?
Do you know why I've kept you?
Because I'm so cute. All the girls fall for me.
They love my dimples.
-You think I don't know that? -So, why?
Because my parents were dwarfs.
Dwarfs?
They looked fine in the photos on internet. You're kidding.
They aren't my real parents.
I met them outside a temple.
My parents were dwarfs.
They worked in a circus in Kolkata.
My mother was bought from a Russian circus.
And my father was a Punjabi. Both dwarfs.
Amazing.
Papa was a lion tamer. Mummy, a trapeze artist.
Then?
They fell deeply in love with each other. They got married.
When my mother was pregnant...
the circus-owner's daughter fell in love with papa.
-Was she a dwarf? -No, she was normal.
She seduced papa, so he dumped my mother and they eloped.
-Then? -They say she took him to Belarus.
They were together for a while then she dumped papa.
I heard...
she fell in love with a Prince from Madagascar.
Then?
She sold papa in an Egyptian market.
Good heavens! Then?
He worked in a circus in Egypt for ten years.
Then he ran away to Yemen...
and worked in an oil well.
People who knew him said...
he loved my mother till the end.
When he died, he had a smile on his lips and my mother's name.
Alina.
He loved her? Utter rubbish!
Why didn't he go back to your mother?
She was dead by then.
When did she die?
20 years later when he returned to Kolkata...
she was already dead.
Why didn't he go back to her sooner? To Alina?
My mother had married someone else by then.
To a dwarf?
No, he was normal.
Must they all marry normal people?
-When did she marry? -Six years after papa...
had left, I guess.
Why didn't he return to Alina in all those years?
If he loved her, surely he would have gone back.
He should've.
Why didn't he?
You tell me.
When people love each other why don't they stay together?
Tell me.
Stop the car. I have to pee.
I must pee.
But your mother lives on 12th Road in Bandra.
But he doesn't know that.
I was narrating the story of my next film. How is it?
It's a horror, ma'am, but very good.
Today we're filming the most important scene.
She has made us wait two hours. Bauua, persuade her to come.
I'll go and check.
Okay, honey.
He begged me to forgive him. He said he would never do it again.
He loves me. Everyone makes a mistake.
How does this work?
-Your girlfriend's robot isn't working. -It's not a robot. It's a rover.
It's called Velocity.
It takes photographs and digs on Mars.
Sweetheart! You've become a scientist like Abdul Kalam.
Aafia built it.
Either you're blind or I am.
You're in love with Aafia. You just can't see it.
I see it clearly.
If you know it, why are you back here?
Your lover also ran away.
Yes. But he came back.
He won't leave you again, will he?
Stay with him.
Let's see if your love story becomes one of the legends.
As if you made one!
What has running or staying got to do with love?
Even my lust is truer than other people's love.
So you admit that you love her?
Did I deny it?
In 38 years...
she was the only girl I could look in the eye and talk to.
They all towered over me. I had to crane my neck.
We could look each other straight in the eye.
If I had stayed, we would've been a perfect match.
Those are her lines.
And yours?
My line? "I love you."
Forget it! Stop lying.
-Why don't you lie sometimes? -You won't go back to her?
You won't let me, will you?
Go!
I'm not stopping you.
Send me back.
For God's sake, push me away.
For the sake of your lover, that dog Aditya Kapoor.
Let me through.
He's a cheat.
I saw him kissing that girl.
He's lying, Babita.
Me? Lying?
Admit it! Weren't you kissing him in the kitchen?
That was my boyfriend. I wasn't kissing Aditya.
Same thing. Everyone is kissing someone.
He kissed her, she kissed him.
She kissed me, I kissed her.
These two guys kissed that girl and she kissed someone else.
I didn't expect this from you.
I swear, by God!
Bauua Singh ran away for love.
Honestly.
If he's come back, it's not for love. He's conning you.
Shut up!
What did you bring for Babita?
This silly ring? How much was it?
A million rupees? Two million?
Let me show you what I've brought her.
Look!
I have got her... diamonds.
A locket.
A chain.
A chocolate.
A birthday card.
Look.
A ribbon.
A hair clip.
An identity card.
Why are you laughing?
What did you bring? You've brought her a crappy ring.
A nasty little ring.
A mean little ring.
-Enough! -Leave my hand.
-Get out from here! -Your nasty ring.
Lover boy! Listen to me.
Just arrived? The party's over.
-You all come here for fun. -Enough! Get out.
You'll drink, you'll blow air kisses.
You love to party.
-Get out! -While I love spoiling them.
Get out! What did you think?
If I bothered to talk to you, you would become special for me?
I spoil you rotten and you exploit me?
-Get out! -Humiliate me some more.
Or else I'll never leave. Humiliate me some more.
-You're a zero, Bauua Singh! -Humiliate me more.
You're nothing. You have zero status. Your wheelchair girl is zero.
-You'll achieve nothing. -Yes, keep going.
Be with her but you'll still be a zero.
-Don't hold back, Babita. -Go home, Bauua.
This time tell the people of Meerut that...
Babita Kumari kicked you out of her house.
Your wheelchair girl didn't believe I kissed you...
but she'll believe I threw you out.
-You're nearly there. A little more. -I'm done with you.
Want to be disgraced some more? Go jump in the lake. Out!
Done?
Who's the celebrity?
Hello, everyone.
DJ! Stop the music!
Put all the plates, glasses and bottles...
in the kitchen.
Hey, Aunty! Wake up.
What are you waiting for?
Mr. Kapoor...
-did you drive here? -Yes, why?
Then leave.
Leave your glass in the sink.
Take her with you.
Baby wants to party some more.
What are you up to?
I'm asking you to get out. Politely.
Should I say it some other way?
You know other ways?
Who do you think you are?
An angel.
I sprout wings behind closed doors.
I can't break every heart in this country for your sake.
Guddu, where are you?
As far as I remember you ran off a year ago. I'm still here.
-Do you want to go to America? -Muslims get visas? Take me then.
Done. Bring my passport with you and meet me in Mumbai.
-Listen. -Yes?
Brother...
I've realized I was wrong all this time.
Okay.
Aafia!
-Bablu, what's that dye? -Henna.
Forget the henna. Make me blonde.
Full blonde!
They want to take my photo.
Whoever we choose...
will be asleep on his journey to Mars.
Believe me, this will be so simple...
that we can even prepare a chimpanzee to do this.
And that's exactly what we've done.
You think this is a joke.
-I hope you're not scared, Guddu. -Why should I be?
They didn't arrest me at the airport.
Can they arrest me here?
Forget them. I'm talking about seeing Aafia again.
Why would I be scared? You should be.
Who ran after Babita? Me or you?
It'll be fine. I'll make it all right.
How long can Aafia be mad at me?
Long live the Goddess!
What's that?
Fake tears?
It's love.
Do they bottle love now?
Indya has an experience of over two hundred hours...
working underwater on a module of an international space station.
He can endure the zero G pressure
as much as our working astronauts.
He's fully trained to drive a vehicle
on the Martian surface.
And the best part is Indya loves sleeping.
What she's saying?
-Something about Mars. -Is she an astrologer?
-What's going on? -The monkey's gone nuts.
If you promise to stay by my side
I will sing lovely songs to you
If you look at me and smile
I will
-What was that? -A gunshot.
-Who fired? -Aafia.
-How? -She has a gun.
-She's just scaring me. -Scaring you?
Her hands shake. That's why you're alive.
We mustn't be scared. We must be brave.
We? You must.
I paid Club Class for you to sight-see?
Come on, get up. Go ahead.
Careful. She has five bullets left.
You blind bat! I know how to count. Get up!
I
I saw you and my eyes
Refused to turn away
You've changed so much, Aafia.
You want a slap?
How dare you come here? Get out!
Out!
I don't need permission to meet my wife, Papa.
Papa?
Ismail, throw this fellow out.
Don't touch me.
Stop! I am holding a baby.
Get back, Ismail. Let me talk to her.
Aafia, I made a mistake. Forgive me.
I'm not a cuckoo. I'm a crow.
Forgive me.
I will caw around you all my life.
But you didn't stop me at our wedding. You laughed at me.
-Shall I... -Wait.
This kid's life is in my hands.
See that baby.
-Not "see." It's "look" at that baby. -Look at that baby, swine.
She's your baby.
Aafia's daughter.
Is she like Aafia?
Or me?
So how can she be ours?
Stop!
Bauua.
Let him go.
A perfect half dream
Once came to me
Like a tear of happiness
Falling from my eyelid
Oh, God Have mercy on me
My shadow seems cross with me
Knowingly, unknowingly
I find myself alone again and again
Loneliness has no bounds
I find myself alone again and again
Loneliness has no bounds
My eyes do not moisten with drops of dew
I could not belong to myself How could I belong to anyone?
The depths of my heart
Seek the truth
Knowingly, unknowingly
I find myself alone again and again
Loneliness has no bounds
See the happy world while My heart is full of sorrow
Oh, unfaithful heart of mine
Let us learn to be faithful
I will win her, make her mine
Or sacrifice my life
My bad name
Foreshadows me
Knowingly, unknowingly
I call out to my beloved
I want to stay forever with you
I call out to my beloved
I want to stay forever with you
Being unfaithful did nothing for me
Let us see if faithfulness
Will befriend me
Life turned its back
And walked away
Let us see if it returns
To smile on me again
Losing everything is easy for me
Now I know how to regain what is lost
Come on, Guddu.
This is all my fault.
I'll beg her forgiveness. Oh, the doors are closed.
-Hey, you with the specs! -Bauua, what are you doing?
Where are you going?
-The wheelchair girl who gave a speech. -Aafia?
Yes, Aafia. Has she left?
She's gone. I got here late.
Do you know her?
I'm her fiancé.
-"Fancy?" -Must be her cousin.
Can you tell me where can I find her?
Here's her card.
Her card?
"Fancy!"
-Guddu, he doesn't look like her cousin. -You're right.
Guddu, our visa will expire while we're standing here.
Let's sneak in.
This isn't the Delhi-Meerut tollbooth. You can't sneak in.
Anyway, they think Muslims come here to plant bombs. We'll get whacked.
-What shall we do? -Ask this aunty.
-Shall I? -Go.
Side, please.
Are you Indian?
-"Quit India!" -"Give us our Kohinoor back."
"We'll tax you double."
What do you want? I speak Hindi. So start talking.
What's this queue for?
NSAR selects seven people every three years for their space programme.
They want to see if a human can survive in space.
-Understand "space?" -You mean "pace?"
-Beyond the sky. Up there. -Oh, that space!
Can a man survive there?
There's six months of tests.
Today's the first selection round. You get paid as well.
-You're in the right place. -We've come to see Miss Aafia.
She works here.
She approves the candidates. References don't work.
-But shortcuts will! -Bauua Singh.
I told you.
That way?
-You've got the pass? -Look! I've got the pass.
-We've got the pass. -Aafia knows us.
What's wrong?
What's this?
Where is Aafia?
What's wrong?
Let me go, please.
Let me go. One minute.
Aafia is getting married.
-What is he saying? -Let us go. We won't come back.
Aafia?
I just wanted to apologize.
I swear by the Goddess. I knew nothing about our child.
What's this invite?
Why are you marrying someone else when you love me?
You may not love me anymore, but I still love you.
Aafia, you were right when you said we were made for each other.
We're a match made...
Stop barking and listen to me.
Now we're truly equals, Bauua.
We could talk eye to eye, that's all. But now, I've stooped to your level,
to your arrogant ways, your status, your class.
"I didn't know about our child, Aafia." Do you think I knew?
When I came to your house...
I came to tell you not to be nervous, Bauua.
If I liked you, it was my problem.
You wanted to change your phone number, fine!
But your father fixed the wedding date.
Go away, Bauua.
There's nothing left of Aafia.
Did you think...
I came all this way looking for you...
only to leave again?
So you are here to try again?
You may be brave, but you don't care for anybody.
Why are you looking miserable?
Didn't your shortcut work?
Want my help?
-How old are you? -What's age? I'm 38.
And you?
The quarrel between you and me
This is false news
For a moment, like everyone else I feel
That you are upset in love
-The smell of gas reminds me of Meerut. -Yes.
We will never talk again
The circumstances are not as such
I understand that your view has changed
But your feelings haven’t
You won’t go, even upon leaving
I will become yours in such a way
That you will never be Upset with me ever again
The quarrel between you and me
This is false news
For a moment, like everyone else I feel
That you are upset in love
I'll smile to lessen my sadness
Though my smiles seem false to me
Every day I'm filled with fear
That you may break my heart by mistake
No matter how you treat me
It will feel like love to me
Not knowing my boundaries Has always been my way
Being alone is not easy
Loneliness is hard to endure
My name so longs
To be united with yours
You won’t go, even upon leaving
I will become yours in such a way
That you will never be Upset with me ever again
The quarrel between you and me
This is false news
For a moment, like everyone else I feel
That you are upset in love
He's small but resilient.
He has only passed his tenth grade, Srini.
Sorry, I forgot your chimpanzee graduated from MIT.
We don't need an astronaut.
He has to sleep all the way to Mars and come back.
We just need someone who'll take the risk.
Aafia, I haven't figured out if you love or hate this man.
I don't have anything in my life beside this project and your brains, Aafia.
I don't know about you.
I don't understand.
Srini...
I feel angry suddenly.
And I feel like crying as well.
Are you angry with me?
You're the one who's angry. I'm trying to make it up to you.
Do you love me?
What do you think?
You love me a lot.
Do you love me?
Will you do something for me?
Anything.
Go away.
Let me attend your wedding first.
Then I'll go.
Run away, Bauua.
You're so good at running.
Break my heart then. Like you've been doing.
You'll die, you dog!
Then watch me die.
I'll watch.
The Mission Mars team is impressed by your performance, Bauua.
Your reports are amazing.
So is your endurance level.
You have a high pain threshold. You're sharp.
Applied intelligence is excellent.
The team says ideally...
they would need a man like you for the mission, not a monkey.
I agree with them.
But you would be risking your life.
It wouldn't matter to you because you love me.
That poor monkey is so attached to his family.
While the very thought of your family makes you uncomfortable.
The rocket's very safe, Bauua.
But I'll pray it crashes on return.
Oh, I see.
Is that how you'll get rid of me?
Scare me away.
You can't bear marrying anyone else when I'm around.
Admit it!
Go on.
Fine, I'll do it for you.
Who knows where you're sending me or what you're asking.
But on the day it happens...
make sure you get married.
Bauua Singh isn't running this time.
The words you just said, you'll forget them all...
when you're in the shuttle traveling at 30,000 kmph.
The second you hear the noise it makes, you'll make a run for it.
When they count...
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six...
When I was even shorter, I could count backwards.
Five, four, three, two, one, zero!
Launch me in your rocket!
Did a star fall?
At last!
God bless the stars!
Let anyone try to stop Bauua Singh now.
What happened? Did they patch up?
He'll be going to Mars.
Your friend will go to Mars.
Where?
The planet Mars.
Does he know that?
God forgive us!
We were sending him to Mars...
but now we're sending Bauua Singh instead.
But sister-in-law, if Bauua goes to Mars
who will I take with me back to Meerut?
He has no one out here except for you.
So, you'll have to be his guardian.
You must sign papers...
stating that if anything happens to him during this mission
then we cannot be held accountable.
Understood?
What do you mean?
Well, for starters he can die.
God forgive us! The punishment for running away from his wedding can't be death.
He's a little guy, who couldn't achieve anything big on Earth,
what does he stand to achieve on Mars?
He's no use to you. Please stop him.
Stop the charade.
And anyway, he's going to run away eventually.
So let him do it now.
It will save our money.
Talk to him.
He's not listening to me. But he will listen to you.
I am busy with my wedding.
It won't take a lot of time to ask Bauua to stop, right?
It will.
And then, there's my engagement tomorrow.
Then the musical night, followed by some more functions.
Then I have an appointment at the parlor, the wedding dress trial as well.
So I am very busy.
Sign that.
You know what?
Meet him between the beauty parlor appointment and the tailor.
There you go.
What do you eat?
Practically anything.
Bauua, what's going on? The whites are applauding.
We're from Meerut, Bauua! We dunk biscuits in our tea.
What do we care about rockets or Mars?
Isn't Mars a faraway planet? It's not a place to go sightseeing.
Wake up! Mars is not Saharanpur from where you can sprint.
It's Mars!
She won't let me go.
I've seen the look in her eyes.
She can't do it. She will stop me.
NSAR is the world's most reputed institution.
They have surprised everyone by sending Bauua Singh to Mars
instead of a chimpanzee.
Bauua Singh is from Meerut in India.
The amazing thing is Bauua Singh is not very educated nor does he speak English.
You can't stay here for the launch.
Why not?
Because we'll be getting married.
Are your calculations right?
Are you crying?
-What? -You're crying.
-You're nuts. -You're crying.
-Don't talk nonsense. -You're crying.
How long does it take to travel 1.2 miles at 5.8 mph?
It's only right if I say goodbye.
You didn't run, Bauua.
I didn't win you.
At least I'll bring glory to my country.
What do you care about the country?
You're dying for the sake of love.
If you were here...
I would have kissed you.
I would have done the same.
I'll wait for you, Bauua.
What if I don't come back?
I'll find someone your height.
Yes.
If I had asked you to, would you have stayed?
As long as I live in this world
You'll belong to me
As long as I live in this world
You'll belong to me
As long as I live in this world
You'll belong to me
As long as I live in this world
You'll belong to me
There were so many amazing things about my story.
It was like a dream.
It wasn't amazing that...
so many tears and smiles, so much love amounts only to...
a trail of smoke in the sky.
The amazing thing is that we know this, yet we fall in love.
It was not a surprise that I cried when Bauua left.
The amazing thing was that he didn't run. The joy of that fact dried my tears.
It wasn't amazing that an unknown 4'6" man from Meerut...
was sent in a rocket to a planet so very far away.
The amazing thing was that he convinced over a billion people...
that he could do it.
It was not a surprise that Srini and I did not get married.
The amazing thing was after so much loathing, I loved Bauua again.
The amazing thing wasn't that Bauua reached Mars.
The amazing thing was that he did not run away.
The amazing thing wasn't that, while returning, the shuttle
silently went missing.
The amazing thing was that I kept waiting for Bauua to return.
The amazing thing wasn't that...
Bauua, rejected by the world, was even spat out by the sky.
One day, the Chinese Space Center got a call. He was returning.
The amazing thing was it took 15 years for that phone to ring.
The amazing thing wasn't that Bauua Singh's shuttle...
was re-entering towards the Arabian Sea...
at a speed of 20,000 kmph.
The amazing thing was 15 years had wrinkled many faces, honey...
but the dimples on my face remained forever young. Right?
Long live...
the Goddess! es on my face remained forever young. Right?