[Vince] Last Monday night in the rematch the WWE has been waiting for,
Native American, Tatanka
appeared to be weakening the defenses of Ludvig Borga,
but who should appear on the scene?
The World Wrestling Entertainment Champion, Yokozuna,
with his manager, Mr. Fuji,
effectively distracting Tatanka from his mission of revenge.
Tatanka returned his concentration to his opponent, Ludvig Borga.
And then just as the Superstar prepared to finish off Borga,
Mr. Fuji accidentally struck Tatanka
by waiving a Japanese flag,
thus interrupting Tatanka's pace, totally disorienting the Superstar,
allowing Yokozuna to enter the ring.
Mr. Fuji's plot was not working.
Tatanka holding his own against Yokozuna.
Too bad! Ludvig Borga and Yokozuna began a double team effort.
And Lex Luger couldn't standby no more.
Luger first attacking the hellraiser from Helsinki
and then turning his eye on Yokozuna.
[crowd cheering]
Off the rope, the elbow striking the forehead.
Yokozuna was held on his feet and then incredibly--
Yes! The slam to the canvas.
And two great Americans, Tatanka and Lex Luger, held their own.
[theme music playing]
[crowd cheering]
Tremendous action last week,
Lex Luger once again slammed the mammoth, Yokozuna.
Just what will happen this week on Monday Night Raw.
Hello, everyone. I'm Vince McMahon.
Welcome to another Monday Night Raw.
And I'm sandwiched between the tag team champions, The Quebecers.
We have Jacques and Pierre.
And tonight, Jacques, it's your manager,
Johnny Polo one-on-one with Marty Jannetty. What about it?
Aren't we the greatest Tag Team Champions you've ever seen?
Yes, but-- Well, maybe no but what about single competition?
Your manager Johnny Polo against Marty Jannetty?
Johnny Polo unquestionably the best manager
that ever hit the World Wrestling Entertainment
but not only that, McMahon.
Tonight they're gonna see that Johnny Polo
is also the greatest wrestler that ever hit the WWE.
[Vince] Well, speaking of great wrestlers in action,
right here tonight on Monday Night Raw is Lex Luger.
If anyone knows anything about Lex Luger, it's this man, Pierre,
because Luger knocked you out on the Survivor Series.
[conversing in French]
English, please. English.
[in English] Lex Luger, I swear on Monday Night Raw…
[continues in French]
English, please. Oh, great.
The Quebecers, ladies and gentlemen.
I've got one who speaks French,
another one who speaks with a forked tongue.
Who knows what's gonna happen tonight on Monday Night Raw?
And here it comes, an "American Original."
-[bell ringing] -[crowd cheering]
[Finkel] This contest is scheduled for one fall.
Coming off the aisle from…
[Vince] And take a look, ladies and gentlemen,
there is a reason why Lex Luger is smiling.
Yes, indeed because he just slammed Yokozuna again last week.
What an impressive physical feat, right, Jacques?
[Jacques] Well, I'm gonna tell you something.
He maybe smiling now, but when he gets the news
that he's meeting me next week at Superstars,
he may not be smiling as much.
[Vince] Well, the question is whether or not you will be smiling
after facing the man on the right,
an "American Original," Lex Luger,
who takes on Jacques of The Quebecers
this coming weekend on WWE Superstars in single competition.
-[bell ringing] -[Jacques] And, McMahon,
wouldn't that be a surprise to everybody
if Barry Horowitz had to upset Lex Luger right now?
[Vince] It could happen. Anything could happen on Monday Night Raw.
Lex Luger quickly got behind Barry Horowitz.
With us, ladies and gentlemen,
the Tag Team Champions of the WWE, Jacques and Pierre.
And Pierre?
[Pierre and Jacques speaking French]
[Vince] English, please. English.
Jacques communicating with Pierre.
Are we gonna hear any English at all out of Pierre?
-[Jacques] Sure, one of these days. -[Vince] I see.
He's trying to learn really bad.
[Vince] Trying to learn? Never mind. Let's leave him alone.
Arm drag takedown, nicely done by Lex Luger.
[Jacques] Now, one thing I wanna know.
Why does Lex Luger always have to put all that oil on his body
just like Bret "The Hitman" Hart?
[Vince] Well, both men like to look good unquestionably, Jacques.
And it helps their--enhances, I would say, their look a bit.
And in addition to that, I would suggest
it's a great deal more difficult to hold someone in a wrestling maneuver
if in fact they're a little slippery.
[Jacques] Well, I guess if I look like Lex Luger,
I'll try to enhance my looks too.
Well, then again we all are dealt with the cards that we have
and you look like you look and so does Pierre.
-[Jacques] Well, thank you. -[Vince] You're welcome.
Lex Luger, ladies and gentlemen,
getting tremendous response from this capacity crowd.
Lex Luger would like nothing better than to enter the WWE Royal Rumble
and be one of the 30 participants,
the winner of which will meet the WWE Champion,
whomever that maybe at WrestleMania.
Thus far Luger's entry denied. Look at this, Horowitz.
[Jacques] I thought that was clear,
that issue that he had no business in the Royal Rumble?
[Vince] No, indeed Jack Tunney is currently deliberating.
And look at this, reversal. Horowitz to the buckle.
-Luger's skips him up from behind. -[Jacques] Kick-out.
[Vince] One, two-- No, but nice kick-out by Horowitz.
Uh-oh, right in the jaw-- Oh, look at that.
[Jacques laughs] And talking about the Rumble,
last Saturday though, that was four weeks away from last Saturday,
we just found out this weekend.
Guess who we're having in the Rumble?
[Vince] We're gonna talk about that a little bit later on.
The Quebecers will defend the Tag Team Championship.
-[Jacques] The brotherly love Harts. -[Vince] Against-- Oh, my.
Look at that delivered by Horowitz.
The Hitman, Bret Hart, teaming up with his brother, Owen,
squaring off against The Quebecers
for the Tag Team Championship at the Royal Rumble.
That is assuming that The Quebecers
will still be intact at the Royal Rumble
because you don't know what's gonna happen
when Lex Luger gets his hands one on one with you, Jacques, this coming weekend.
[Jacques] Shouldn't you be worrying about if the Harts will still be intact,
-if you know what I mean? -[Vince] Oh, indeed.
We're not gonna worry about that at all, they're back together.
And again-- and look at Horowitz giving Luger a go.
And belated Christmas gift there to Lex Luger.
[crowd chatter]
-[Jacques] Well… -[Vince] Barry Horowitz
pouring it on and doing very a nice job over here against Lex Luger.
A little aggressive as far as his tactics are concerned.
[The Quebecers speaking in French]
[Vince] Please, English. What did you just say?
[Pierre in English] If it was meant to be understood
I would've said it in English.
[Vince] I see. Jacques and Pierre having
conversations with their native tongue. And-- Uh-oh.
[Jacques] Is it amazing how the Americans, they only know how to speak one language?
-I speak English, French and some Spanish. -[Vince] Oh, really?
[Jacques speaking Spanish]
[Vince] Not bad. Yeah, the same thing.
-[Jacques continues in Spanish] -[Vince] If you say so.
[Jacques, in English] You're so well brought up, McMahon. It's not funny.
Thank you very much. I appreciate that.
Lex Luger and Barry Horowitz
opening things up here tonight on Monday Night Raw.
[Jacques] I noticed that he's a great competitor, Lex Luger.
He picks opponents the same size as him.
-Have you noticed? -[Vince] Oh, really?
Luger signs on with anyone. Are you referring Yokozuna?
-Oh, my goodness. -[crowd cheering]
The clothesline by Luger. Luger with some momentum.
Horowitz coming up, big powerslam.
Luger with yet even more momentum.
The same momentum that took Lex Luger to slam Yokozuna.
[Jacques] Why does he keep looking at the people
every time he does something?
[Vince] On the top rope, Lex now.
[Jacques] Look at him look at the crowd again.
They're there, why not look at them?
They're responding to Luger
-and so is Barry Horowitz. -[Jacques] Wow!
-The cover… -[Jacques] That's it.
…a count. Yes, indeed a three count.
[bell ringing]
Lex Luger builds momentum.
[Jacques] It won't happen with me. It ain't gonna happen with me.
Lex Luger may currently be denied entry into the Royal Rumble,
but he will face Jacques one-on-one this coming weekend on WWE Superstars.
What a response to "The American Original," Lex Luger.
And by the way, if you would like to let Jack Tunney know
how you feel on a special opinion poll,
dial the number on the screen, 1-900-454-4WWE,
a reminder, at 99 cents per call.
Let Jack Tunney know how you feel
as to whether or not Lex Luger should be in the Royal Rumble.
[Jacques] That's right. Call him.
Call Jack Tunney and tell him he has no business there.
And again reminder, kids, if you're under 18 years old,
please get your parents' permission before calling.
[crowd cheering]
Please, please, enough is enough.
Yeah, all right. All right.
Right now, ladies and gentlemen, let's take you back to footage. All right?
This footage we're gonna show you
took place several months ago here on Monday Night Raw.
It was the 1-2-3 Kid against Marty Jannetty,
and you will see that Polo blatantly interfered.
Let's take you now to the footage.
-[speaking French] -[Vince] First of all, Johnny Polo
had no business being at ringside and certainly behind the officials back,
had no business interfering and tripping the 1-2-3 Kid.
And look at this, Polo again behind the same officials back,
-same spot, tripped up Marty Jannetty. -I could beat both of them.
[Vince] Did you hear that? He could beat both of them.
-[Jacques] He could. -[Vince] He wasn't done there.
From there, the referee accidentally knocked out.
-And the 1-2-3 Kid… -[Jacques] What a kick.
[Vince] Barely, Marty Jannetty-- and the Kid sets up Jannetty.
Johnny Polo, again, with no business at ringside
-with the official down on the canvas. -[Jacques] That happened!
-[Vince] Johnny Polo… -[Jacques] What happened?
…shoved Marty Jannetty into the railing
and thus, the 1-2-3 Kid,
who would have landed on Marty Jannetty,
landed on the outside hurting himself as well.
Then the official back up on his feet, looked up and saw both men on the outside.
And then Polo counted in unison with the referee.
Both men counted out,
Johnny Polo interfered with the performance of both individuals.
Johnny Polo, ladies and gentlemen,
getting a real big laugh but who will get the last laugh?
All right, that footage several months ago.
The question is, what will Johnny Polo do here tonight against Marty Jannetty?
And standing by, I believe, we have one Johnny Polo.
-Johnny, can you hear us? -Yeah, I can hear you, McMoron.
-What do you want? -I beg you pardon?
Hey, listen. What do you wanna know? Marty Jannetty tonight?
I already told you, it was just the short month ago
that I told everyone in TV land
that I could take Marty Confetti and the snot nose kid
and beat them both at the same time.
And what did I do? I did it. I proved to everyone.
And now, once again for all my adoring fans,
my worshiping beloved fans,
I'm gonna prove once again by tonight defeating Marty Confetti, one, two, three
in the center of the ring.
-And that's why I am Johnny Polo… -[Vince] All right.
Okay. Thank you very much, Johnny Hobo, and we'll be…
-Polo, Polo. -…Johnny Polo, I beg your pardon.
We'll be right back. Ladies and gentlemen,
Johnny Polo one-on-one with Marty Jannetty. Stay with us.
We are back with our Monday Night Raw.
And you get the impression things are really gonna get raw here
with the essence of Johnny Polo, your manager.
[Jacques] You know, Vince McMahon, I feel like getting up right now.
I feel so brave, handsome and strong and start putting.
-[Vince] Yeah, I bet. -[The Quebecers laugh]
Whether or not Johnny Polo is brave, handsome and strong,
we're gonna find out momentarily.
Marty Jannetty is waiting in the wings.
Promotional consideration paid for by the following.
[upbeat music playing]
Hey, Johnny.
We are back, ladies and gentleman,
and now Johnny Polo greeting his Tag Team Champions.
The fellow, big smile on his face,
you wonder whether or not he's gonna remain with that smile.
-["Rock Out" playing] -Here comes one of the premier competitors
in the WWE today, Marty Jannetty.
[Jacques] He should have been retired a long time ago.
[Vince] Oh, really?
This capacity crowd ready to see Marty Jannetty rock and roll.
[Finkel] Weighing 235 pounds, Marty Jannetty.
[Pierre speaking French]
[Vince] Hey, wait, wait. Now, we have said before, English only.
[Pierre continues speaking in French]
[Jacques] I don't think, McMahon,
you're in the position to make the rules right now.
[Vince] Okay.
Marty Jannetty against Johnny Polo,
-and Marty Jannetty looking over this way. -[bell ringing]
[Quebecers speaking French]
[Vince] All right, gentlemen.
How does it feel to see your manager in the ring, Jacques?
[Jacques] Oh, it's just wonderful. You know, the more…
[Vince] Look at him back off. Is he chicken?
[Jacques] He's got his fist closed Marty Jannetty. This is a wrestling match.
[Jacques] Obviously, a lot of you Americans
forget about the rule once in a while.
[Vince] Locking up now. Look at this trying to go behind…
-[Jacques] What a technique. -[Vince] Lousy.
Very loose technique if you ask me. Over the hip.
[Jacques] Oh, how about that one? Two points, isn't it?
Tell that to the Steiners, isn't that two points? [laughs]
[Vince] That's a very nice takedown over the hip.
-Nicely done by Johnny Polo. -[Jacques] You're the man, Johnny.
You're the man.
[Vince] Johnny Polo locking back up with Jannetty now.
Again the standing side headlock.
Jannetty trying to find a measure-- escape top wristlock now.
Let's see-- Oh, went all the way back around.
And Polo shoves Jannetty off. Polo bounced down.
Jannetty, collision and--
[Jacques] Oh, what a move, what a move. Johnny, you're the greatest.
Didn't I told you-- Didn't I tell you he was the greatest not only manager
but wrestler in the World Wrestling Entertainment?
[Vince] I think we're only a couple of minutes into this match.
Let's just see what happens.
[Jacques] Marty Jannetty over the hill right now.
He doesn't want to admit it to himself.
Since they separated him and Shawn Michaels,
he has become nothing.
[Vince] Please.
Jannetty, one of the premier WWE Superstars,
former Intercontinental Champion and…
Oh, yanking the hair. Ralph, turn around.
-[Jacques] I didn't see that. -[Vince] I'm sure you wouldn't.
-[Jacques] Oh, some bad techniques. -[Vince] Oh, look at that maneuver,
nicely executed.
Jannetty with Johnny Polo now,
and Jannetty winding up Polo to the buckle.
-And look at that death maneuver. -[Jacques laughs, claps]
[crowd cheering]
[Jacques laughs] Give him ovation.
[Vince] Whoa! Back in the ring the hard way.
-[Jacques] Roundhouse right-- -[Vince] Misses. In the crotch
by Jannetty,
landing with the knee. Oh, ho, ho. Yes.
[Jacques] Come on, Johnny.
[Vince] And again.
This time going backwards.
-Suplex, and cover. One, two, a kick-out. -[Jacques] Kick… kick-out, Johnny.
[Vince] Marty Jannetty unable to hook the leg.
[Jacques] You know, we gotta admit Marty Jannetty has
some kind of technique in wrestling.
[Vince] Oh, I see. All of a sudden now, huh?
[Jacques] No, but Johnny has just come off a Honolulu tour.
He's a little tired, he hasn't had any rest,
so maybe that's why we gotta take that into consideration.
[Vince] What was he doing in Honolulu?
[Jacques] He was managing the best tag team in the World Wrestling--
[Vince] I see. Look at this maneuver.
-[Jacques] Look at that. -[Vince] Oh, wait a minute.
-Oh, look at that, yes. One, two and… Aw. -[Jacques] Kick, kick, kick.
[Vince] And Johnny Polo a little fortunate there,
in terms of where the official was placed in the match-up.
[Jacques] I didn't quite see if he pulled the trunks on that.
-[Vince] I don't believe he did. No. -[Jacques] His back was to us.
[Vince] And Marty Jannetty working with the… the arm.
Look how he has that arm double back over.
[Jacques] See that black eye he's got under there?
That's 'cause he met Johnny Polo in the hallway there,
and then he smacked him right in between the eyes.
-[Vince] I see… Just like that, huh? -[Jacques] Yes, sir.
What do you think? They're ballet dancing?
-Good move, Johnny. -[Vince] Here goes and… No.
[Jacques] Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
[Pierre laughs, claps]
[Jacques clapping] We love Johnny.
We love to fly and it shows. [laughs]
[Vince] We love to fly and it shows?
It chose? What did you say?
-[Jacques] It shows. -[Pierre] And he comes up.
-[Vince] Whoa. -[Jacques] Oh, yes, sir.
[Vince] And they are going at it here on Monday Night Raw.
[Jacques] Beat him up, Johnny, beat him up. Beat him up.
-[Vince] Polo grandstanding from… -Polo fever, that's it.
[Jacques] Did you hear that? Polo fever. It's Polo mania.
-[Vince] I see. -[Jacques laughs]
[Jacques] Go, baby, go. Or I should say, go, Johnny, go.
[Jacques laughs]
[crowd chanting "Marty"]
Hear that? Johnny, Johnny, Johnny.
-[chanting continues] -[Vince] I believe that's Marty.
[Jacques] I believe you got problems with your earphones.
[Vince] Yes, no doubt,
with you around
and the ever eloquent, Pierre.
[Jacques] Hey, Pierre… [speaking French]
-[Pierre speaking French, laughs] -[Vince] You know, I'm right here.
Come on, ref. Get him back.
[Jacques] Go, Johnny, go.
[Vince] Oh, look at that.
-Cover on two and almost a count of three. -[Jacques] Get out of there.
-Good, boy. -[Vince] Oh, Polo almost pinned.
[Jacques] Good show, good show. [laughs]
[Vince] Johnny Polo stepping over Marty Jannetty.
What happens if you go to the Royal Rumble
without your manager, Johnny Polo?
What if Marty Jannetty knocks him out of action?
What happens when you drop the titles to the Hart brothers
at the Royal Rumble?
You and Pierre wind up in Never Land ranch.
[Jacques] You know, it never even crossed our mind
-that Johnny would get hurt in this match. -[Vince] …back, and look at this!
Head on collision. Whoa. My goodness, what a maneuver.
[Jacques] Get up, Johnny.
[Vince] By the way… Jacques, have you and Pierre ever
donned, uh, similar uniforms, uh,
in Arkansas?
Have you gentlemen ever been… state troopers?
I guess not.
[Jacques] I'm not following your topic here.
We're doing some wrestling here, some commentaries and wrestling.
And what has the police from Arkansas have anything to do?
[Vince] Well, nothing.
Then again, if you don't follow politics…
[Jacques] I follow Johnny Polo, and you should follow him too.
[Vince] Right now, Marty Jannetty is following him.
[Jacques] He's got to be the wrestler of the year.
[Vince] Oh, to the buckle, down, and Marty Jannetty… with momentum.
[crowd cheering]
[Jacques] He's starting to cheat again.
[Vince] Cheat? Watch this.
Coming off the rope, drop… the elbow striking him right in the jaw.
Nicely done by Jannetty.
[Jacques] It's gonna take a lot more than that
to sit my boy, Johnny, down.
[Vince] Coming off the rope
-and down… -[Jacques] Whoa!
-…goes Johnny Polo. -[Jacques] By the hair.
By the hair, did you see that?
-Tell me you didn't see that. -[Vince] A belated Christmas present
coming up from Marty Jannetty.
-Jannet… Oh, look at that. -[Jacques] Yeah.
[Vince] Wow, I'm impressed.
Polo recovering a lot quicker than Jannetty had figured.
-And now look at this. -[Jacques] Suplex.
Suplex from the top rope.
[Vince] Here they come. No, blocked again.
Jannetty blocked it and down goes Johnny.
[Jacques] Well, it's going Marty Jannetty's way right now,
-but things can change. -[Vince] Jannetty from top rope.
Flying body press, that'll do it. One, two and… Yes.
-No. -[Jacques] No way. No way.
Don't count your apples before they grow, McMahon.
[Vince] Don't count what?
[Jacques] Just don't count your apples before they grow.
[Vince] I see.
I could tell you by the look on your face,
and the look on Pierre's face,
you're not liking the action.
Not liking it one bit right now.
-[Jacques speaking French] -[Vince] Look at that.
Yes, yes. Cover on two… Oh, ho.
-[Jacques speaking French] -[Vince] Hey, please,
if you're gonna talk to Pierre then in English,
so we can all understand, please.
[Jacques speaking French]
[Vince] Oh, boy.
Coming off the rope now Johnny Polo and…
[Jacques] Yeah… What a kick.
[Jacques speaking French]
[Vince] Hey… what's going on here?
[Jacques] Mind your business, McMahon.
[Vince] Now, hopefully Pierre is gonna mind his business.
Marty Jannetty with a dropkick,
Polo to the outside. Nicely done.
And Pierre now, ladies and gentlemen…
-[Jacques] I'll be back. Oh. -…has left us.
Pierre over by Polo, helping him up.
All right. Come on, ref.
-Come on. -[Jacques] A little bit of help
from a friend. What's wrong with that?
[Vince] Because it's supposed to be single competition. Look out.
-[Jacques speaking French] -[Vince] Here's Jannetty's maneuver.
-[Jacques] Now he's mad. -[Vince] What a maneuver by Marty.
[Jacques] He shouldn't have done that.
[Vince] Polo and Pierre both went down.
[Jacques speaking French]
[Vince] Pierre has stuck that big nose into someone else's business,
and he has paid the price.
Come on, ref. Get him back in there.
Marty Jannetty with great momentum.
He could polish off Johnny Polo. He's doing-- Oh, wait a minute.
-From behind the official's back. -[Jacques] What? What?
-[Vince] You saw it. -[Jacques] I didn't see nothing.
-[Vince] Pierre dragged Jannetty. -[Jacques] Come on, Johnny.
[Vince] Polo catches one in the gut.
Jannetty on target with another kick.
Marty Jannetty has the momentum.
Marty Jannetty is gonna win this match.
Marty Jannetty out to the outside
going up to the top rope.
[Vince] He's not doing any…
-he's not doing anything. -[Jacques] Polo… Oh, come on.
-Come on, ref. -[Vince] He's helping him.
-[Jacques] What? So what? -[Vince] Look at that.
[Jacques] So what?
[Vince] Look at that.
Unbelievable.
-Jannetty landed right on Pierre. -[Jacques] Hey, I'll be… I'll be there.
[crowd cheering and clapping]
[Vince] Polo back in the ring.
Marty Jannetty is having to take on
-not one but two individuals. -[Jacques] There's conspiracy.
I can't even move from my seat.
-[Vince] Over the top, hooks… -[Jacques] Get him over, get him over.
Get that shoulders down.
-[Vince] Hey, turn, turn around. -[Jacques] Whoa!
-Yeah! -[bell dings]
-[Jacques laughs] -["We're Not the Mounties" playing]
Yes, sir.
We are the greatest.
[Vince] I've never seen anything like that ever.
[Jacques] Johnny Polo fever. [laughs]
[Jacques speaking French]
[Vince] I can't believe what you did.
You're supposed to be sitting here as a commentator.
[Jacques laughs, speaking French]
-Johnny Polo. -[in English] We told you.
[Jacques] That was Johnny Polo,
the greatest wrestler you'll see this year.
-[Jacques laughs] -[Vince] Unfortunately.
Marty Jannetty is very, very angry and justifiably so.
I can't believe that Pierre would interfere. Leave his position.
And you're in trouble.
[Vince] Now, wait a minute.
-[Jacques] Whoa, whoa, whoa. -[Vince] Oh, boy. Wait a minute.
[Pierre] Hey. Hey, [speaking French]
[crowd clamoring]
Hey!
[speaking French]
[Vince] Wait up. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait a minute.
I think the official is trying to say that you're out of here, Pierre.
-[Pierre speaking French] -[indistinct conversation]
[Vince] Yes, yes. Goodbye.
Now, wait a minute. Take it easy, will you please?
-Let's go. -Hey, why, he's got that… Take it easy.
Jacques, sit down.
We'll be back, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll figure all this out.
-I believe Pierre is being thrown out. -Pierre, come on, let's go.
We'll be back with more of Monday Night Raw.
[Christmas music playing]
[man] Oh, merry Christmas, Undertaker, Paul Bearer. [laughs]
[snoring]
[screams, panting]
Hey, Yokozuna. Only dream. Dream.
-You understand? A dream. -Hai. Hai.
[narrator] This holiday season,
may all your unbelievable dreams come true.
-[bell dings] -[Jacques] Well, I will tell you what,
-Jim Cornette, Yokozuna, and Fuji… -["Doinkin' Around" playing]
…must not have been too happy to know
that there's trick photography done with their face involved in it.
[Vince] I don't know about that, but listen to this.
If you want, then look at this.
Doink and Dink.
Dink was an early Christmas present for Doink.
[Finkel] His opponent…
[Jacques] You mean Doink got a little Dink for Christmas?
[Vince] You got it.
-[Jacques laughs] -[Finkel] …Spike Gray.
[Vince] Spike Gray.
Well, I got with a most unique individual,
and Doink the Clown
over… waving at us.
And there's Dink.
-[Vince laughs] -[Jacques] Do you know Doink personally?
I know Doink personally. They say he's got two faces.
[Vince] He has two faces? I see.
[Jacques] He's a two-face, you know what I mean?
[Vince] Boy, you are clever this week.
[Jacques laughs]
[Vince] However, unfortunately,
Pierre was a little too clever for the official.
And Pierre, ladies and gentlemen, thrown out of here.
-He's gone. -[Jacques] Yeah, yeah.
[Vince] And I would suggest to you, Jacques,
if you interfere, you likely will be gone as well
because Jack Tunney's just not gonna tolerate
someone out here in the broadcast position
interfering in action in the ring.
[Jacques] Well, let me tell you something, McMahon.
If Pierre got thrown out, it's because he don't have two-face.
And I want to tell you something, Jack Tunney.
If you want to interfere somewhere,
why don't you go back to Lex Luger
and get that steel plate out of his arm.
[Vince] I see.
[Jacques] But you're the only one who does.
[Vince] Doink and Dink.
Having a little laugh here about the ringside area.
And, uh… Wait, is it gum?
Dink is gonna give Doink some gum?
A little chewing gum there to start things off.
-Again, most unusual athlete, Doink is. -[Jacques] There's time…
There's time and place for everything.
I don't know what's going on now.
[Vince] Doink, a great athlete, ladies and gentlemen,
and a tremendous wrestler.
He doesn't look it,
-but in terms of scientific knowledge… -[bell dings]
…Doink ranks up there among the top.
And Dink is going to offer Spike Gray, I believe, some gum as well.
Oh, wait a minute.
[crowd laughing]
[Jacques] Oh, my God.
Spike Gray got to go get a Spike brain.
[Vince] Spike… Well, Spike with a chewing gum
and look at Doink and Dink.
[Jacques laughs]
[Vince] Whoa!
Look out, a kick in the shin.
-[Jacques] Unbelievable, and now-- -[Vince] Dink's having a laugh.
[Jacques] And now when Dink gets hit
everybody's gonna complain, "Why they're hitting a little man?"
But he goes around kicking everybody.
[Vince] A little consultation going on.
Dink and Doink.
[Jacques] Everything's a joke, isn't it Doink?
[Vince] Well, certainly a joke early on with, uh,
Mr. Polo. What a joke he turned out to be.
[Jacques] Well, that may not be a joke… Don't involve Johnny in this.
It may not be a joke, Mr. Doink,
when you meet Bam Bam Bigelow again.
[Vince] I'll agree with that. What a match-up that's gonna be.
Spike Gray is looking over at Dink who's still on the top rope. Look at that.
Dink nailed Spike Gray right in the nose
with the hard right hand.
Suplex.
-One, two, yes. -[Jacques] Oh, my God.
I wonder how things are in backstage area.
And Polo and Pierre probably breaking everything.
-[Jacques laughs] -[Vince] Look at this,
Dink and Doink victorious on Monday Night Raw.
Jacques, what a picture that is.
All right. Standing by, ladies and gentlemen,
later on we'll take you to The Undertaker's workshop.
We'll show you the match-up with Razor Ramon.
Also, highlights of the Women's Championship match-up.
Right now, the Royal Rumble report and Todd Pettengill coming at you.
Hi, everybody. Hope you had a happy and safe Christmas.
Welcome to your WWE Royal Rumble report
here on Monday Night Raw.
My name is Todd Pettengill.
We just saw Doink in action.
Now, we know that Santa gave Doink,
Dink for Christmas.
But what do you think Dink got Doink?
Maybe a dog? You think Dink got Doink a dog?
I'd like to welcome the Quebecers to Monday Night Raw.
I guess just Jacques, at this point, is left and… doing a great job.
You see, Hooked on Phonics does work.
Here's a friendly reminder,
we are now just over three weeks away
from the WWE Royal Rumble.
We come to you live from the sold out Providence Civic Center,
Saturday night, January, the 22nd at 8:00 Eastern, 5:00 Pacific,
and exclusively on pay-per-view.
By the way, that was your subtle clue to make that call
to your local cable company and place your order.
Now that the heat's off from Christmas shopping,
place your order early, so you are not locked out
of the most exciting night of the year in the World Wrestling Entertainment.
Let's get right into the Royal Rumble match itself.
It begins with two Superstars in the ring,
then every two minutes thereafter that Casio clock goes off
and another Superstar jumps into the action.
You're alive till you get thrown over the top rope
and your feet touch the floor.
There are no friends on this night, only 29 other athletes to beat.
Let's the run the list
of who's in this year's WWE Royal Rumble match so far.
The Hitman, Bret Hart,
The awesome Crush from Kona, Hawaii,
The Ugandan Giant, Kamala,
The Rocket, Owen Hart,
plus Doink the Clown.
Mabel from M.O.M.,
Scott Steiner from Mr. & Mrs. Steiner,
The cocky, Shawn Michaels,
The big seven-footer, Diesel,
plus Adam Bomb.
Bam Bam Bigelow,
The Macho Man, Randy Savage,
The unpredictable, 1-2-3 Kid,
Fatu of The Headshrinkers,
Samu of The Headshrinkers,
two Jenny Craig clients who didn't reach their ideal goal weight.
And now a Canadian transitional phrase,
also scheduled to appear, Rick Steiner,
former WWE Champion, Bob Backlund,
and Greg "The Hammer" Valentine,
who makes his return to the World Wrestling Entertainment.
Now, keep in mind it is still possible,
Lex Luger could compete in the WWE Royal Rumble match
if president Jack Tunney changes his mind.
You heard about the Lex Luger opinion poll earlier tonight.
In case you miss the number, here it is again,
1-900-454-4WWE.
It's 99 cents a call.
Kids, you must be 18 years old or have your parent's permission
before you call.
Should WWE president, Jack Tunney,
allow Lex Luger to participate in the 30-man Royal Rumble?
I say absolutely.
And, you know what? Apparently a number of you agree with me.
I have an inside source at president Jack Tunney's office.
That source tells me the voting is going overwhelmingly
in favor of Lex Luger.
That source also tells me
that the president maybe getting a little antsy.
He has said before, he will not let this opinion poll
dictate policy or any of his decisions in the World Wrestling Entertainment,
but he has obviously showing signs of lighting up.
So keep up that pressure on the Lex Luger opinion poll.
Now, let's jump right into the main event.
It's a title match. It's a Casket Match.
Hey, it's almost the New Year. Might we have a new WWE Champion?
Yokozuna defends the gold
against The Undertaker.
Keep in mind, the only way you win a Casket Match
is by stuffing your opponent inside that casket
and slamming the lid.
Now, the Intercontinental Championship
is on the line at the WWE Royal Rumble as well.
You'll hear more about that later on tonight here on Monday Night Raw.
Let us move to yet another title match
scheduled for the WWE Royal Rumble,
the Tag Championship.
The Quebecers fend off the challengers,
the Hart brothers.
And it looks as if Bret and Owen have finally mended those fences
for the holiday.
You know, a lot of things have happened
last couple of weeks with the Hart brothers,
but, you know, the damage is done, and it's over,
and it's water under the bridge.
And the Hart brothers are completely in focus.
And that means at the Royal Rumble,
The Quebecers, you're looking at the World Wrestling Entertainment
Tag Team belts for the last time,
'cause we're gonna be the champions after the Royal Rumble,
-right, Owen? -That's right, Bret.
You know, we're like a fine-tuned machine.
We ironed out all that bugs. There's no problem between me and Bret.
And we're focused for one thing,
Royal Rumble, WWE Tag Team belts on the line.
We're taking 'em away.
Obviously, this has to be an exciting time in the life of Owen Hart.
He is looking for his first ever title shot
in the World Wrestling Entertainment.
Right now, let's get back to half of the Tag Team Champion, Quebecers.
It's Jacques along with you, Vince McMahon.
All right. Thank you very much, Todd Pettengill.
It's nice to see the Hart boys back together again,
having resolved their differences apparently.
However, I don't believe it's good news
for the Quebecers, is it, at the Royal Rumble?
Let me tell you something, McMahon.
The Harts are together, it's temporarily
because when we step into the ring
and the lights are shining down on Royal Rumble, right on our faces,
it's gonna be too much for the Harts.
They're always gonna try to outdo each other, one after the other.
And there's gonna be another fight, and we're gonna keep our titles.
-Is that the way it's gonna happen, huh? -That's the way I call it.
[Vince] Yeah, I see. We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen,
as Monday Night Raw continues with the Kona Crush.
Stay with us.
-[narrator] The Smoking Gunns -[slow tense music playing]
with sights set on a tag team title,
they're burning a trail to the top of the World Wrestling Entertainment.
Bam Bam Bigelow and Bastion Booger,
two dangerous and offensive outlaws
that stand in the way,
Beauty and the beasts.
Next week on Monday Night Raw.
[Vince] What a match-up that's gonna be right here
next week, ladies and gentlemen.
Bam Bam Bigelow and Bastion Booger,
two mammoth individuals joining forces
-against The Smoking Gunns. -[Jacques] Who's the beauty
but who's the beast between Bam Bam and Booger?
-I don't know. It could be Luna. -[Jacques laughs]
[Vince] When you talk about size, you talk about great competitors,
it will lead you to this man right here, the Kona Crush.
[Jacques] What an impact. What an impact he's made
in the World Wrestling…
What a credibility he is to the organization
of the World Wrestling Entertainment.
-[Vince] An extraordinary athlete. -[Finkel] Mike Maraldo!
[Vince] Mike Maraldo, knowing full well he is
in for a tough time with it against Crush.
And Crush knows he's in for a tough time
when he locks up with the Macho Man, Randy Savage,
who was victorious…
A very impressive victory over Fatu
several weeks ago here on Monday Night Raw.
[Jacques] Did you see that Vince McMahon?
Three hundred twenty five-pound handstand…
-[Vince] Yeah. -…over the rope.
He landed right on his feet.
I mean Crush has some techniques, doesn't he?
[Vince] Has a lot of agility.
No question, take nothing away from the Kona Crush.
Randy Savage wants to take something away from him although.
And I believe he will have his opportunity.
[Jacques] Well, I'll tell you what,
that's the only reason we lost Survivor Series.
The only reason, against the All-American team,
it's because Savage put his nose into our business.
[Vince] I see.
That's not the only thing you're gonna lose.
I would suggest that at the Royal Rumble,
you and your partner, or deported partner, Pierre,
are likely to drop the Tag Team Championship
to the Hart brothers.
[Jacques] Oh, you worry too much, McMahon.
That's why you got gray hair.
[Vince] What's wrong with gray hair?
And look at Crush.
Series of pressing movements here… on his opponent, Mike Maraldo and…
Oh my, down to the canvas.
Yes, he is big, he is strong,
great agility, extraordinary athlete,
but he may not have the kind of intestinal fortitude
that the Macho Man, Randy Savage has.
Savage is back in the ring
full-time, full blast.
[Jacques] The only thing Savage has going for him
is the crowd behind him, but that ain't gonna do the job.
[Vince] Oh, yeah? It's nice to see Randy Savage
back doing the job with Todd Pettengill.
A nice tag team on WWE Mania.
It's the way to start your Saturday morning here on USA.
Every Saturday morning at ten o'clock,
you can see the tag team of Pettengill and the Macho Man.
[Jacques] You know, you got to give some credibility to Mike Maraldo.
He sure has a lot of guts to step in the ring with a man like Crush,
but I don't foresee a great future form him
when Crush puts his squeezing brain onto him. [laughs]
[Vince] His squeezing brain, all right. Nonetheless, uh,
did you, uh… would you care to comment
on what you and Pierre got for Christmas?
[Jacques] Well, I'll tell you what, there's something…
No, I don't, as a matter of fact.
-[Vince] All right. -[Jacques] It's nobody's business,
but the one thing I'd like to comment on
since you want my opinion…
-[Vince] Yeah. -…is why… I just heard McMahon
-you've a five-million-dollar lawsuit… -[Vince exclaims]
…with the Star?
You must be familiar with that situation. [laughs]
[Vince] I'm suing the Star?
The newspaper, the Star, for five million dollars?
[Jacques] Yeah, that's what I thought I read.
[Vince] No, no, no. That's not Vince McMahon.
That's Ed McMahon who is suing the Star.
-and right now… -[Jacques chuckles]
…this young man, Mike Maraldo,
-is seeing stars. -[Jacques] You look alike,
-that's why. I'm sorry. -[Finkel] Here's your winner…
-[Vince] Crush -[Finkel] …Crush!
[Vince] …defeating Mike Maraldo rather handily.
Crush, managed by Mr. Fuji, who also handles Yokozuna.
Fuji and Cornette sold Yokozuna out.
Yokozuna's not too happy at all about having to face The Undertaker
in the Royal Rumble
in a Casket Match. Let's take you to the workshop.
[Paul Bearer] Oh, yes.
My Undertaker has been making a list
and checking it twice.
Mr. Fuji has been very, very naughty,
and Mr. Cornette.
Oh, not so nice.
Oh, but for my Undertaker,
'tis the season to be jolly
because Yokozuna,
my Undertaker is crafting a casket for you, by golly!
Soon, Yokozuna,
you too will be gift wrapped. [exhales]
Merry Christmas, Yokozuna.
Ho…
ho…
ho.
This holiday season
just remember these careful words of wisdom.
You're gonna have a good time,
you're gonna be partying, and you're gonna be celebrating,
but don't ever forget for one second
that you can't make that one big, deadly mistake.
Just remember one thing,
don't drink… and drive.
Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen,
former World Wrestling Entertainment Champion,
"The Hitman" Bret Hart.
Speaking of champions, however,
let's take you back, and show you the finals.
It was the Women's World Wrestling Entertainment
Championship tournament that took place several weeks ago.
We have highlights for you.
It's Heidi Lee Morgan squaring off against Alundra Blayze.
Let's take a look at these highlights.
-[upbeat music playing] -Hi, I'm Alundra Blayze.
The WWE just finished the Women's World Championship tournament.
It has come down to the last two women,
myself and Heidi Lee Morgan,
a very good wrestler.
I have enough confidence to be the champion, do you?
Alundra Blayze, I went through the same women you went through.
You think you're gonna walk out of this tournament being the champion?
I think not, s'il vous plaît.
I am going to be the World Wrestling Entertainment Champion,
just you watch and see.
[Heidi groans]
[crowd cheering]
[Heidi yells]
[crowd cheering]
-[bell dings] -[crowd cheering]
[Finkel] Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this bout,
and new World Wrestling Entertainment
Women's Champion,
Alundra Blayze!
[Vince] Congratulations to a great competitor,
a great athlete, and a great new champion, Alundra Blayze.
And speaking of champions,
we'll be right back with Razor Ramon, The Bad Guy.
[gong sounds]
[drum playing]
[Kwang grunting]
[gong sounds]
[drum playing]
[gong sounds]
["Bad Boy" playing]
[Jacques] Whoa, bam bam.
We're back at Monday Night Raw.
[Vince] And take a look at The Bad Guy, Razor Ramon.
However conspicuous by its absence,
is the gold that Razor normally wears around his neck.
[Jacques] I've noticed it too, Vince McMahon, something is wrong.
[Vince] No, that's Kwang.
-What do you mean something's Kwong? -[Jacques laughs]
[Vince] Oh, you are a riot.
[Jacques] Let me tell you something,
-come Royal Rumble… -[Vince] Yeah.
…IRS is gonna take care of Chico-face once and for all.
-[Vince] You think so? -[Jacques] I know so.
[Vince] Uh-huh. Well, Razor Ramon
will be in action momentarily.
[crowd cheering]
[narrator 1] Promotional consideration paid for by the following.
[narrator 2] WWE Royal Rumble now on Super NES and Genesis,
incredible 16-meg action.
It's perfect.
No holds barred, WWE Royal Rumble.
Perfect.
-[bell dings] -[Vince] We're back,
ladies and gentlemen.
Derek Domino will lock up with Razor Ramon.
[Jacques] You know earlier, I spoke to Derek Domino.
And he made me a promise, McMahon.
-[Vince] What'd he promise you? -[Jacques] He said he was gonna
deliver Razor Ramon in 30 minutes or less. [laughs]
[Vince] Not anymore.
He'll do the best he can I'm sure,
but will that be enough?
Razor Ramon underneath…
Oh, nice fireman carry takedown.
[Jacques] You know, I can't… I … I can't
forget what happened three weeks ago
when, uh, Shawn Michaels
took Razor Ramon and edged him about two or three times in a row.
Wasn't that the greatest thing that happened
-to Razor Ramon? -[Vince] No, I don't think so.
And your question, whether or not Razor is back
at full capacity. I guess we can find out here tonight,
with Domino taking it to him right now.
Derek Domino with a chop underneath the throat.
-And another one. -[Jacques] I talk… I talked to Razor Ramon
just earlier, and I can tell you that he's not full capacity.
-[Vince] How could you tell that? -[Jacques] Just by talking to him.
-[Vince] Razor Ramon… -[Jacques laughs]
…and Domino flies through the air.
[crowd cheering]
Razor Ramon looking forward to…
IRS looking forward, ladies and gentlemen.
[Jacques] You know what I think? I think that Fidel Castro's daughter
should be sent back to Cuba.
[Vince] Hey, wait a minute.
[Jacques] I think that's conspiracy on the part
of Jack Tunney and Razor Ramon.
[Vince] Now, wait a minute, I thought you said earlier
you don't have anything to do with politics.
And what do you know about whom should be allowed into this country?
I mean… you and, uh, Pierre, the Quebecers.
[Jacques] Well, at least we own a green card.
[Vince] Look at that maneuver by Razor Ramon. He means business.
Razor Ramon,
no doubt somewhere down the line
will clash with Shawn Michaels.
And have an opportunity to even the score.
And Razor, headed to the Royal Rumble, defending Intercontinental Championship
against IRS.
And… several weeks ago we looked into the briefcase,
here on Monday Night Raw, of IRS.
And we saw… at least we thought we saw
Razor 's gold that he used to wear around his neck.
[Jacques] Yeah, you think a lot. But one thing's for sure,
that Razor Ramon don't shine any more.
[Vince] Oh, boy, you're something.
By the way, tomorrow, the critics say it's a knockout.
Take a gripping look into the life of a complex man,
Fallen Champ.
The name of the movie.
[Jacques] No, that's Razor Ramon.
No, The Untold Story of Mike Tyson,
the USA movie tomorrow night at 9:00, and 8:00 Central.
[Jacques] Oh, I thought you meant when you said "fallen champ"…
[Vince] Razor Ramon now.
Uh-oh, look at this. Wraps him up, the abdominal stretch,
and this could do it.
[Jacques] That's not Domino stretch.
[Vince] Domino trying to hang on.
[Jacques] It's ab-Domino stretch.
[Vince] Well, Domino, after this match-up,
-may be headed to a Pizza Hut. -[Jacques laughs]
[Vince] Look at the look in his eyes, of Razor Ramon.
Razor Ramon, certainly no Little Caesar, to say the least, and Razor
releases the hold.
And The Bad Guy is in complete control.
And you think there's something
going on with Razor Ramon and Fidel Castro's daughter?
[Jacques] Yeah, why don't you go ask Jack Tunney.
He knows all about it too.
[Vince] Jack Tunney is Canadian. What does he know about it?
Are you insinuating that Jack Tunney and, uh--
[Jacques] In case you didn't know, he is the president
of the World Wrestling Entertainment.
He knows everything.
-[Vince] He does, huh? -[Jacques] And he should know also
that we are the greatest tag team that ever existed in the…
[Vince] And he must also know
whether or not you and your tag team partner
-ever dressed up, as we said before… -[crowd cheering]
…in state trooper uniforms in Arkansas.
[Jacques] Did you take a New Year's resolution this year so far, McMahon?
[Vince] Whoa! It looks like… Razor Ramon just made one.
[Jacques] Well, me and Pierre took one.
[Vince] You took one what?
[Jacques] We took a resolution for this year.
[Vince] And what is it?
[Jacques] We're gonna teach Pierre how to speak English.
[Vince] Well, congratulations.
Maybe someone will teach you as well.
-And look at this… -[Jacques laughs]
-…down to the canvass. -[Jacques] That's very funny. Very funny.
You know, that probably reminds him of Shawn Michaels right there
when he falls on his head like that, Domino.
[Vince] And the three count.
[bell dings]
[crowd cheering]
[Jacques] Weren't you in great company this week, McMahon? Tell me the truth.
[Vince] Was I in great company this week?
[Jacques] I mean, in great company.
[Vince] Well, I don't know. I…
Different. How's that?
[Jacques] Your best, best TV show you've ever made.
-Congratulations. -[Vince] Is that right?
[Vince] Well, thank you very much. I'll accept the congratulations.
I'm gonna miss Pierre.
-[Jacques] Happy New Year… -[Vince] I'm gonna miss you too.
…all you Frenchmen out there.
[Vince] Kind of like you miss a toothpick.
Razor Ramon victorious.
Next week right here on Monday Night Raw.
The tag team combination of The Smoking Gunns will square off
against the behemoth combination of Bam Bam Bigelow and Bastion Booger.
What about it?
[laughs] Well, let me tell you, it's gonna be a big one.
Also scheduled join us Double J, as in Jeff Jarrett.
Quite an accomplished wrestler.
[Jacques] Oh, Double J, almost the greatest wrestler
that ever hit the WWE.
Almost, huh?
Well, speaking of, uh, maybe the greatest,
I don't know, in terms of championship at least,
scheduled to join us right here on Monday Night Raw next week,
the World Wrestling Entertainment Champion, Yokozuna.
[Jacques] Well, he takes his own place in the WWE.
He deserves a hand right now.
He does, huh? I'll give you my hand.
And don't forget, next week, if you recall, that is,
Johnny Polo right here on Monday Night Raw.
-Join us next week for more action… -[laughs]
…on Monday Night Raw. ore action… -[laughs]