[intro music playing]
[Mr. McMahon] It's me, Austin.
-[JR] Oh, son of a… -[Lawler] What?
[Mr. McMahon] It was me all along, Austin.
You all bought it, hook, line, and sinker,
even my family, even my immediate family bought it.
-Where is he? -I don't know.
[JR] Mr. McMahon is frantic. His daughter Stephanie is missing.
[Lawler] She's been abducted by some members of the Ministry.
[Stephanie] I don't feel safe at home.
The only place I really feel safe is when I'm with…
when I'm with my dad.
I care about Stephanie, I care about her safety…
-Of course. -…and her welfare.
Every damn one of you were made fools of.
[Stephanie] The only place I really feel safe is when I'm with…
when I'm with my dad.
-Where to, Stephanie? -[screams] Help!
[JR] Stephanie McMahon has been abducted by The Undertaker.
[Mr. McMahon] Even my family bought it.
[Stephanie] Dad, Shane, how could you be so cruel to me?
[man] They used Stephanie.
Love doesn't have anything to do with it, it's just business.
[JR] Shane McMahon with a fast count has screwed Steve Austin.
[Lawler] We've got a new WWE Champion.
Well, Vince, let's talk business.
Earlier today, I stepped down as the CEO of this company.
Not before I handpicked my own successor.
It's gonna be a little less formal, more casual at the office.
Cut-off jeans, how about a little profanity in the office? Well…
Austin 3:16 says a fool--
[bleeping] I just whipped your ass.
[Linda] Drinking on the job. Yup.
[JR] And a cold beverage for the Rattlesnake.
Allow Stephanie and me to introduce you to the new CEO.
[JR] Oh, yeah.
Look at the look on McMahon's face.
Rattlesnakes don't make good CEOs.
[man 1] This evil, demonic plan has seemingly backfired in the face
of Vince and Shane McMahon.
[JR] It's Stone Cold's first day on the job
as CEO of the WWE, King,
and already, some changes have been made.
[Lawler] I can't believe it.
Mr. McMahon's personal parking place has been replaced
by "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
[crowd cheering]
♪ It's my life in the box in front of me ♪
♪ Taking junk in my arms Is the soul of me ♪
♪ You walk by, Eyes can see me laying face down ♪
♪ Why am I the thorn in your eye ♪
[crowd cheering]
[JR] Another sell-out crowd on hand with WWE Raw.
Hello, again, everybody. I'm Jim Ross,
alongside Jerry "The King" Lawler.
We are at ringside,
in the speculation events
about "Stone Cold" Steve Austin's first official day on the job
as CEO of the WWE.
[Lawler] I tell you this JR,
I'm sure that Mr. McMahon's inner circle at the--
[JR] Those stuffed shirts.
[Lawler] Stuffed shirts? No, these are highly qualified executives.
They're not gonna like things with "Stone Cold" Steve Austin as the CEO.
[woman] Good morning, WWE, how may I help you?
[Stone Cold] All right. Everybody's on time. I like it a lot.
Tell you what, my first day on the job,
I'mma check out the office situation, make sure everything's cool.
I'mma come back, get back with you, I'll tell you what we're gonna do.
-[man] All right, sir. -Hang tight.
[woman] Good morning. WWE, how may I help you?
[Stone Cold] Honey, what's going on?
Good morning, Mr. Austin, how are you today?
-Good. You all right? -Good. Thank you.
-Working hard? All right. -Very hard, sir.
First day on the job, where's my office?
-Your office is on the top floor. -Top floor.
-[telephone rings] -Excuse me one second.
Good morning, World Wrestling Entertainment.
What… what's that?
Hey, hang up the phone.
Hang up the phone. What was that?
I was answering the phone.
Do you always answer the phone like that?
Yes, sir.
-How long have you been working here? -A year now.
Let me take the next one. I'm gonna show you how this is done.
-[telephone ringing] -Give me that.
Yeah, who the hell is this?
Really? But what the hell do you want?
Right. Vince McMahon?
No, I fired that sum bitch. Right.
He comes back and-- Yeah, yeah, I'm sure. I'll have the sum bitch give you a call.
And remember, if I don't see you around here, I'll see around, here.
That's how it's done, honey,
-can you handle that? -Yes, sir.
-If you can, give me a "Hell yeah." -Hell yeah.
All right. Where's my office?
-Top floor. -Gotcha.
[telephone ringing]
[woman] Who the hell is this?
Yeah, what the hell do you want?
[Lawler] What?
[JR] I'll tell you what, this is gonna be a day
the employees of WWE are never gonna forget.
[Lawler] What is going on?
[JR] What are those wheelbarrows for?
Well, thank goodness.
Well, this has got to be a nightmare state for the McMahon family here,
specifically Vince and Shane McMahon.
And you got to wonder how they're gonna react
with the new CEO on the job at McMahon's own World headquarters.
[announcer] Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon and The Undertaker,
The Corporate Ministry.
[Lawler] Well, I'm just glad to see Shane and Vince McMahon come out,
they're done throwing their weight around now.
Steve Austin's not here right now, is he?
-[JR] Not at the moment. -[Lawler] Good.
[JR] Stone Cold, form what we understand, on his way to his office,
but who knows what or who the new CEO may run into or encounter here?
[Lawler] You can't answer the phone like that at the WWE.
"Who the hell is this?" What is he thinking?
[JR] That's the Rattlesnake's rules.
[crowd cheering, chanting]
This capacity crowd, very adamant in their sentiments
at the McMahon men and the entire Corporate Ministry.
[Lawler] Look at that. Big bucks.
[crowd booing]
I must say, you're downright rude.
[Lawler] Right.
Rude and true.
You know, the only thing worse
than Stone Cold being the World Wrestling Entertainment Champion,
and quite frankly,
I didn't think there could be anything worse than that,
but the only thing worse than that,
is Stone Cold being the CEO,
the Chief Executive Officer of our company.
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] The black day.
[Mr. McMahon] Well, last Monday Night…
Last Monday Night was to have been a celebration.
Last Monday Night was to have been a culmination
of three months of blood, sweat and tears,
of three months of planning, scheming
and indeed executing
the greatest Machiavellian plan
in the history of the World Wrestling Entertainment.
[crowd cheering, chanting]
But sometimes…
sometimes… sometimes plans go awry.
And when they do, that tests the mettle of a man.
It tests the mettle of an organization.
And there are those among you
who would think that there must be some cracks
in the foundation of The Corporate Ministry now.
There are some among you
who feel as though The Corporate Ministry is about to dissolve.
There may even be some of you…
who wish that The Corporate Ministry would, in fact, disintegrate.
[crowd cheering]
Well, that's only wishful thinking,
because that's not gonna happen,
that's not gonna happen tonight, that's not gonna happen any night.
[crowd booing]
You see…
The Corporate Ministry is focused.
The Corporate Ministry sets its sights on the future.
And as such,
Shane McMahon and I
have given great deliberation to the future,
great deliberation to the King of the Ring.
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin
has challenged Shane and Vince McMahon in a handicap match.
Which we, the McMahons, eagerly anticipate.
The only question is, Shane,
what sort of stipulation…
[crowd chanting]
[chuckles] what sort of stipulation are we going to add
for this handicap match?
Now, there has been some debate, quite frankly,
Shane and I will admit,
as to what the stipulation should be, but I've got an idea.
-Try this one on for size. -Go ahead.
What if we engage Austin in a dog pound match?
[Lawler] A what?
I'm listening, I'm listening.
Well, I think we need to see one first.
[Lawler] Yeah.
So let's take a look at the dog pound match here tonight.
Why don't we take the Road Dogg, Jesse James?
Yeah, let's put… let's put a dog collar around his neck.
[Lawler chuckles] Oh, yeah.
And let's put a dog collar around the neck of Mr. Ass.
[Lawler] Whoa.
Let's connect those dog collars
with a nice good old dog chain, what about that?
A dog pound match, boys, huh?
-[JR] That's gonna be a heck of a match. -I'm liking that, I'm liking that.
You know what, this handicap match between
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin and, of course, you and I,
it's kind of like David versus Goliath.
Of course, Austin being David and us being Goliath.
[Lawler] Yeah.
How about that for a match, Dad?
How about that here for tonight?
David versus Goliath match,
where in one corner, playing the part of Goliath,
will none other than The Big Show.
[JR] Whoa.
In the other corner, playing the part of David,
will be none other than my buddy X-P-A-C, X-Pac.
-[Lawler laughs] -[JR] That's-- That's not fair.
Now what's gonna happen?
Will X-Pac be able to give the x-factor to The Big Show,
or will X-P-A-C go up for the ride to the penthouse
and receive the chokeslam from hell?
[Lawler laughs] Shane's brilliant.
I have another idea for you,
Speaking of hell…
how about the World Wrestling Entertainment
tag team champions, The Acolytes,
play the part of Vince and Shane in a special handicapped match,
and tonight in this very ring,
playing the part of "Stone Cold" Steve Austin,
will be none other than Kane.
-[Lawler] Whoa. -[JR] Man.
-That's good. -[Lawler chuckles] Yes.
-One man versus two? -[Mr. McMahon] But what if…
Well, what if we have a blindfold match?
-Oh, I'm liking that. -Austin in a blindfold.
[Lawler] Look at this.
But tonight, tonight, we'll call it a blind date match.
[Lawler] Uh-oh.
You see, why don't we put a blindfold on Test?
[Lawler] Oh, yes.
You see, Test,
you broke the rules when you took Shane's sister,
my daughter, Stephanie, out on a date.
So Test, you're gonna have a blindfold on
and your opponent who will have 20-20 vision,
-the Big Boss Man. -[JR laughing]
[Lawler] How are they coming up with this stuff on the fly, JR?
They're brilliant.
-[inaudible conversation] -[crowd booing]
-[JR] Boss Man likes it. -[Mr. McMahon] No, no, no, no.
-I got it. -[JR] What?
The handicapped match, King of the Ring,
the McMahons versus Stone Cold and Austin's in a straitjacket.
-[JR] Oh, come on. -[Lawler] Yes!
-A straitjacket match. -[Lawler] That's the best.
Let's take a look at that tonight.
And who belongs in a straitjacket?
How about the World's most dangerous man, Ken Shamrock?
-[Lawler] Yes! -[JR] Shamrock in a straitjacket tonight?
Shamrock in a straitjacket will be opposed in a non-title match
against someone who have full usage of all of his limbs,
none other than Jeff Jarrett.
[Lawler] Yes!
Now, I assure you, ladies and gentlemen,
that tonight is the night that you and The Corporate Ministry
will remember for a long, long time.
[Lawler] What do you think, JR?
-[JR] I'm in shock. Wait a minute. -Hold it, hold it. Hold it for a minute.
-[JR] Patterson and Brisco. -Hold it.
[Lawler] The Stooges.
Now Vince, you look at me. Vince McMahon, I'm talking to you.
I've known you for 20 long years.
And Vince, you damn know that your daughter Stephanie is my Godchild.
I understand Vince, that business is business,
but how in the hell can you put your lovely daughter, my Godchild,
through such an ordeal? How can you something like that?
[JR] Good question, Pat.
-[Lawler] It's business, JR, come on. -[JR] It's not business.
Patterson, are you questioning my judgment?
[Lawler] Yeah.
You damn right, I'm questioning you, and I want some answers.
Listen, pal, you better get right with yourself and with me,
or otherwise, you don't wanna hear my answers.
Whoa, is that a threat?
[JR] Threat?
Well, Vince, let me tell you something.
If this is a threat,
you and Shane can go straight to hell.
[Lawler] What?
[JR] Man, and that's from one of McMahon's oldest confidants.
And while you and Shane, Mr. McMahon,
earn that trip to hell,
you better stop and get your own damn coffee.
[Lawler] What?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute, before you depart,
since I own your two asses, I'll tell you what.
You know what you're gonna do?
You're gonna be in this ring tonight competing.
Yeah, in a Tag Team Match against…
Mideon and Viscera.
-[Lawler laughs] Yeah! -[crowd cheering]
This will be a night for all to remember.
[JR] My God, there's no doubt about that, and folks,
we're receiving footage from Stone Cold.
King, he's invading Mr. McMahon's office on this footage.
[Lawler] He's doing what?
Right now, he's invading Mr. McMahon's office?
I can't wait to see it.
[JR] Ladies and gentlemen.
Right now, the world premiere of The Rock getting chefy with it.
[Lawler] Getting chefy?
-♪ Chefy, uh-huh ♪ -♪ Getting chefy with it ♪
♪ Getting chefy with The Rock, he's hot ♪
♪ Got the best of everything To make a good time rock ♪
♪ Got the wheels fine ride With the chef inside ♪
♪ And yeah ♪
♪ We're getting chefy with it ♪
-♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪ -♪ We're getting chefy with it ♪
♪ Na, na, na, na, na Getting chefy with it ♪
The Rock says, don't be a jabroni, eat your ravioli.
[man] I think, he's getting chefy with it.
[JR] Ladies and gentlemen, the new CEO has apparently already been to his office,
and is now on his way to Mr. McMahon's office.
[Lawler] What's he gonna do there?
Now, get your ass back to work.
That son of a bitch.
Old Vince McMahon.
[all] Welcome, Mr. Austin.
Good morning, girls.
You got to help me out a little bit here, I'm in a transition phase.
Help me out, you are who and you do what?
I'm Danielle and I get Mr. McMahon his coffee.
Well, do you? That's really special. And you?
I'm Giovanne and I give Mr. McMahon his chateaubriand.
I like a good wine every now and then, myself.
And I'm Jill, and I'm their back up.
[chuckles] You're the back up.
That's wonderful. All right.
-[Danielle] Mr. Austin. -Yeah?
Since it is my job, can I get you a cup of coffee?
Well, it's already 10:00 in the morning.
We don't drink coffee at 10:00 in the morning where I come from.
I'll take a cold beer instead.
Perhaps something to eat?
[exhales] You know, come to think of it, my stomach is rumbling a little bit,
I'll have another cold beer.
Can I get you a cold beer too, Mr. Austin?
No, how, honey, but I will take a crown and 7.
-[Danielle] Oh, Mr. Austin. -Yeah.
-There's a board meeting in five minutes. -I don't like board games.
[Lawler] Oh, my God, JR.
Looks like coffee breaks are being replaced by happy hour.
-["Oh You Didn't Know" playing] -[Road Dogg] Oh, you didn't know?
[crowd cheering]
Your ass better call somebody!
[JR] Here we go, folks.
It's gonna be a rough ride here tonight, dog pound match coming up.
You damn right,
[JR] Last night on heat,
the Road Dogg and Ken Shamrock took on Mr. Ass and Chyna
in a tag team match-up,
and that's where Jeff Jarrett diverted Shamrock away from the ring,
Chyna came in with a low blow.
Now the referee was already down,
but then out of nowhere, King, what a move,
the Road Dogg countered the Famouser
and got the one, two, three on his former teammate.
[Lawler] Yeah. It looked like a little bit of an unhappy reunion
of DX all of a sudden.
And they did quite the number on the Road Dogg.
[Road Dogg] Cut the music.
You see, Vince, you think you put me in a predicament?
I think not, you see…
bad-ass Billy Gunn's ending up on the short end of this stick,
and speaking of stick, Billy,
if you ain't down with getting your ass whipped
at the other end of this chain, I got two words for you.
[crowd] Suck it!
[JR] A dog pound match coming up right here right now.
["Ass Man" playing]
♪ Yeah, I'm an ass man ♪
[JR] Uh-oh, uh-oh.
What's the deal here?
I saw-- I saw Mr. Ass earlier today, and he was… he was just fine.
He may have taken a fall or something,
looking like something's wrong with his neck.
-[Lawler] Well, I think he's goldbricking. -[JR] What?
[Lawler] He's a lot like McMahon's stuffed shirts.
[JR] Those senior vice presidents, he must have a hundred of them.
Let's call them butt-kissers. You know, the…
[Lawler] Hey, look, look, look, come on.
Those are highly qualified and highly paid executives.
What's the problem here?
[JR] Well, it's obvious that Mr. Ass
doesn't wanna compete against the Road Dogg in this dog collar match.
[crowd cheering]
[crowd chanting]
And this crowd got a few things to say towards Mr. Ass.
-I don't think I can repeat it… -[JR] Please don't.
…but these people are exactly right.
Kane, get back in there.
[JR] Oh, look.
There's nothing wrong with Mr. Ass at all.
[crowd cheering]
And why the-- Well, the--
Billy Gunn is supposed to put that dog collar around his neck,
and I don't know exactly the rules of a dog pound match,
but I'm assuming it's no disqualification at least.
[Lawler] It speaks for itself, a dog pound match,
you pound the dog, and that's what Billy's doing.
I guess he forgot to put that around his own neck,
but he's pounding the dog. [chuckles] Yes.
[JR] This could be a message sent directly to "Stone Cold" Steve Austin
from Vince and Shane McMahon as to what Austin
could possibly expect in less than two weeks at the King of the Ring
in the Greensboro Coliseum.
[Lawler] Yeah, this would be a great match for Vince and Shane.
I would love to see "Stone Cold" Steve Austin
with that dog collar around his neck.
[JR] Oh, I'm sure you would.
Snapmare takeover by Mr. Ass,
and now that chain is used as a weapon, and it's as legal as can be.
-Wait a minute, there's a cover. -[Lawler] Got him.
[JR] And a two and a half count.
-[crowd booing] -[shouts] Shut your mouth!
[JR] There's a lot of possibilities
that Austin may be facing the King of the Ring
as far as stipulations go.
[Lawler] They were flying out of the McMahon's hands left and right.
David versus Goliath straightjacket match tonight.
[Lawler] Handicap match.
[JR] Blind date match, and look at Road Dogg fighting back.
[Lawler] Wait a minute.
[JR] Stinging left hand by the Road Dogg.
Hey, wait a minute, this don't look good at all.
-[Lawler] Why not? -[JR] Here comes Chyna.
[Lawler] She don't look good?
[JR] She'll face the Road Dogg at the King of the Ring
in less than two weeks, and this is almost over.
That's a cover, this should be all right-- There, and Chyna interrupted the count.
Remember, it's no disqualification.
[crowd booing]
Wait a minute.
-Chyna's got that chain. -[Lawler exclaims] Oh!
-[JR] Right between the legs. -[Lawler exclaims] Oh!
[JR] And there's the Famouser.
[Lawler] That Dogg just got fixed.
-[JR] With Chyna's help… -[bell dings]
…Mr. Ass has just beaten the Road Dogg.
[announcer] Here is your winner, Mr. Ass.
[Lawler] The Road Dogg got neutered. [laughs]
[JR] It's easy to see that the McMahons
are back in charge here tonight,
with Stone Cold back in the World headquarters.
and Chyna… but Chyna with a… I mean, an…
a vile, aggressive attack here.
She's wrapping the chain around her fist
and hammering the Road Dogg right in the face with it.
[Lawler] Road trying to go.
[JR] Chyna and the Road Dogg,
will meet at the King of the Ring in less than two weeks.
And look at Chyna.
[Lawler] Yeah, that will make her Queen of the Ring if she wins.
[JR] Road Dogg can't defend himself after the double team,
and now Chyna is just assaulting with a steel chain, the Road Dogg.
[Lawler] Oh, man.
[JR] And now Chyna's chocking the Road Dogg.
The ninth wonder of the world wants to be the first Queen of the Ring.
[Lawler] Look at the Road Dogg, he looks more like…
road kill, he's dog meat.
[JR] The Road Dogg looks like he's been in a… in a bad ring.
["Ass Man" playing]
♪ Yeah, I'm an ass man ♪
[JR] Chyna and the Road Dogg in Greensboro.
-[Lawler laughing] -And now to add insult to injury,
I guarantee you, the issue between Mr. Ass and the Road Dogg
is far, far from over as well.
And take a look here, King.
[Lawler] Oh, I love it, this one's great, here we go.
Chyna doing a number on the Road Dogg and then the Famouser.
One, two, three, then look at Chyna go.
[JR] And I've never seen Chyna so aggressive,
as right here tonight against the Road Dogg.
Can you imagine what's it gonna be like?
The Road Dogg busted open there.
Can you imagine what it's gonna be like in the King of the Ring
in a couple of weeks down in Greensboro?
[Lawler] I don't know, but was that a full moon we saw?
Uh-oh.
[JR] Ken Shamrock, and it looks like the--
Over here, the McMahons have a welcoming committee.
[indistinct conversation]
These five gentlemen,
these officers will be your personal escort tonight
and they'll be in your custody the entire evening.
Whoa. Are you having me arrested?
'Cause if you're not, you can keep Vince's little watch dogs
away from me or someone will get hurt.
There's one other things, I need you to tell you about.
[JR] And we're back, here comes The Rock headed our way,
But last week in the the first ever…match,
it was The Rock versus Triple H,
a match ordered by the new CEO, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin,
but The Undertaker made the biggest impact of the night.
[Lawler] What's he doing here?
-[screams] No! -[JR] Oh, wham!
I guess these … matches are no disqualification.
[Lawler] Are you kidding me?
-[JR] Rock Bottom, baby. Oh. -[Lawler screams] Oh, no!
The Rock is absolutely destroying Triple H here.
The people's champion is about to deliver the people's elbow.
The Undertaker! There's The Undertaker.
[Lawler] The Undertaker. [screams] Oh, God, a chokeslam.
-[bell dings] -[JR] Straight from hell.
He's gonna try to end it right here for The Rock,
a tombstone on the champ.
[Lawler exclaims] Oh, man.
[JR] The Rock just got drilled on the steel chair by The Undertaker.
[The Rock] Do you smell what The Rock is cooking?
[crowd cheering]
[JR] An ovation for The Rock,
who, no doubt, has a huge score to settle with The Undertaker.
And ladies and gentlemen, right here tonight,
and still to come, the David versus Goliath match-up.
-[Lawler] Yeah. -[JR] The handicap Tag Team Match,
Kane versus The Acolytes.
What about the blind date match?
[Lawler] Yeah, don't forget that.
Test is gonna have to go blindfolded against the Big Boss Man. [laughs]
[JR] And a straightjacket match,
Ken Shamrock versus Jeff Jarrett, the McMahons are…
they're throwing their weight around, that's all they're doing.
They're being Corporate bullies.
[Lawler] Come on, this is Corporate research.
They're trying to figure out what would be the best type of handicap match
for Shane and Vince McMahon to be in
against "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, that's all it is.
[JR] I think the McMahons are doing it for their own macabre amusement.
[Lawler] It's King of the Ring Corporate research. [laughs]
[JR] Wow, what an ovation here… for The Rock fans on their feet.
He is electrifying, no doubt about it,
a former WWE Champion.
And there's no doubt The Rock's got a lot to…
lot to say here tonight.
Finally, The Rock has come back to Wooster.
[crowd cheering]
Undertaker, by getting involved in The Rock's match last week,
you did one thing
and that is directedly check yourself into The SmackDown Hotel.
-[crowd cheering] -[Lawler] "Directedly"?
Undertaker, you think you impress The Rock
by coming out here with your Undertaker symbol
and claim to steal souls of all those jabronis?
You think you impress The Rock
by taking your eyes and rolling them up into the back of your head?
Well, The Rock says, if you really want to impress The Rock,
then you will come to King of the Ring,
and you will put the WWE Title on the line
-and go one-on-one with The Great One. -[crowd] …one-on-one with The Great One.
[JR] The Rock is not intimidated by The Phenom.
And Undertaker, when The Great One's music hits,
do you smell what The Rock is cooking?
And 20, 000 asses are standing on their feet
with goosebumps running through their body
all chanting The Rock's name,
-"Rocky! Rocky!" -[crowd chanting loudly] Rocky! Rocky!
[Lawler] A huge echo in here.
[JR] This crowd's getting jacked.
Then…
[Lawler] This whole place is shaking.
Then Undertaker, you bring your monkey ass to the people's ring,
and you come, and you try and sacrifice the people's champ,
but here's the twist.
Instead, Undertaker, of taking your eyes
and rolling up into the back of your head,
The Rock says, take your entire 33-pound head,
turn it backwards like The Exorcist,
have it rolled down your back, catch it with both your hands,
and then, Undertaker, The Rock says,
take your own head and proceed to shove it directly up your candy ass.
-[Lawler] What? -[JR] Man.
The Rock is laying the smackdown.
["Rest In Peace" playing]
-[JR] Uh-oh. -[Lawler chuckles] Yeah.
-[JR] I think The Rock has done it now. -[Lawler] Oh, yes he has.
[JR] Business has just picked up.
There's the WWE Champion,
the one and only Undertaker, as evil as evil gets.
[Lawler] We may see The Rock's eyes roll to the back of his head.
All right, young man, sing-along time is over.
What you're doing
is you're out here,
your mouth writing checks your ass can't cash.
[crowd chanting] Rocky! Rocky!
What you fail to realize, boy, is I've crippled more people than polio.
You can't be the first, but you will be the next.
So in response to your little nursery rhyme,
let me put it like this, Rock.
It's time for you to go to the learning tree,
King of the Ring… I accept.
-[JR] Oh, man. Whoa. -[Lawler] All right. All right.
[Mr. McMahon] No, no, no, no, no, wait a minute, whoa, wait.
-[JR] What's this now? -Wait just a minute.
-I know… -[crowd booing]
I know… I know you're eager
to defend the WWE Title, I understand that.
But Rock…
what makes you think you're worthy of being the number one contender?
[Lawler] Yeah, right.
As far as I'm concerned,
the only thing electrifying about you these days
are those gaudy shirts you wear.
[Lawler] Right, look at that shirt, JR.
[Mr. McMahon] It's all right.
You want a shot at The Undertaker, the King of the Ring for the WWE Title?
No problem.
Just this little hitch.
Tonight, in that very ring, in a non-title match,
you must be victorious.
You must win the match, Rock.
One way or another,
tonight, in order to get your Title shot at the King of the Ring.
[Lawler] What's he saying, JR?
-Rock and Undertaker tonight? -What about it?
[JR] That's what I got out of it, yeah.
The Rock says, not only will The Rock whip his monkey ass
at King of the Ring, but he'll do it tonight,
-if you smell what The Rock is cooking. -[crowd cheering]
[JR] So it's The Rock and The Undertaker right here tonight
in a non-title match-up, a match that Rock must win…
["Know Your Role" playing]
…to get his shot at The Undertaker at the King of the Ring for the WWE Title.
[Lawler] Wow.
Hey, Rock. Hey, Rock.
-Cut The Rock's music. -[JR] What's this?
-[crowd booing] -Since this is a night of stipulations,
we have a stipulation for you this evening between you and The Undertaker.
And, Rock, tonight you'll find out
exactly what that stipulation is, five minutes before you come out,
if you smell what the Macs are cooking.
Now hit The Rock's music.
[Lawler] Well, JR, it's a night of stipulations.
-The McMahons are brilliant. -["Know Your Role" continues]
[JR] But what's it the McMahons have in store for The Rock tonight
when The Rock meets The Undertaker
right here in this very ring, here tonight on Raw?
[Lawler] This is gonna be great.
[JR] It's gonna be a war, no doubt about it.
The Rock and The Phenom hook it out here tonight, and--
-Hey, hey, hey. -[Lawler] Oh, my.
Did he just try to make a pass at you?
[JR] Yes, it's-- Did he just try to make a pass at you, Debra?
[announcer] And now, the WWE Rewind
brought to you by Hasbro interactive Centipede.
Now in the PlayStation game console. The bugs are back.
[Lawler] Oh, oh! Look out, look out! Hit him right…
-[exclaims] -[crowd cheering]
[JR] Well, Nicole Bass aiming for Jeff Jarrett,
and Nicole just knocked out Val Venis.
-You are nothing but a screw-up. -You got a problem?
Screw you.
[JR] What? Wow.
[announcer] That was the WWE Rewind
brought to you by Hasbro interactive Centipede.
Now in the PlayStation game console. The bugs are back.
[JR] And we are back,
the WWE Women's Title on the line here momentarily.
[Lawler excitedly] Oh, boy! Oh, there they are, puppies. [laughs]
[JR] King, the puppy thing has gotten out of hand now.
[Lawler] The puppies getting out of hand, though, that's bad JR.
Puppies should always be kept in hands.
That way you pet them, play with them.
I love puppies.
[JR] Well, good to see plenty of 'em right here, are you all right?
[Lawler] I want those puppies to have my litter.
Look! Oh, my gosh.
[JR] Easy, easy, big fella.
[Lawler] I wouldn't even mind carpet stains for those puppies.
[JR] Will you stop it?
Oh, man, okay.
This an interesting match-up, to say in the least.
We're booked tonight.
Raw is War is brought to you by Castrol, the official motor oil of the WWE.
Now when you buy a case of Castrol GTX motor oil,
get one of these six-foot WWE Superstar posters free.
[Lawler] And by Chef Boyardee,
overstuff yourself on Monday nights when Chef Boyardee overstuffed in the WWE.
[JR] Also by WWE, The Music Volume III,
hear the original entrance theme songs of your favorite WWE Superstars.
Now available with all NRM music locations and other fine retailers.
Ivory will be challenging Debra for the WWE Women's Title.
[announcer] Introducing the challenger,
-Ivory. -[JR] Jeff and Debra the golden couple.
Both champions.
We saw Debra and Ivory lay hands upon each other
about eight days ago on Heat,
in a… in a match-up that Debra tried to get to,
well, quite frankly, involved in in an direct way of Sexual Chocolate.
[Lawler] Yeah, and Ivory certainly didn't like that and she made it known.
[whoops]
Meow mix, anyone?
-[JR] Uh-oh. -[Lawler] Wow.
-[JR] WWE Women's Title… -[bell dings]
…may not be as scientifically perfect as some…might want here,
but it will certainly be unpredictable, to say the least, and… Uh-oh.
-What is she doing here? -[Lawler] Look at this.
Don't hurt the puppies.
[JR] The angry Amazon,
Val Venis's former squeeze, Nicole Bass.
The world's largest female body builder at ring side.
[Lawler] Look at Debra go.
[JR] Folks, we are receiving more footage from Stone Cold
regarding his first day on the job as-- What?
Well, I guess-- I guess Austin did have that…
that McMahons senior management meeting.
From what we hear, it was a dandy.
[Lawler] Look at this.
[JR] The stuffed shirts.
Austin is gonna, I'm sure, have a interesting indoctrination
of those stuffed shirts, those corporate butt-kissers
that Vince surrounds himself with.
[Lawler] These guys are… They're executives…
-[JR] They're yes-men. -[Lawler] They're scholars.
They got more degrees than a thermometer, JR.
[JR] Oh, I know.
[Lawler] They'll put Austin in his place, I guarantee you.
[JR] They're some highly paid son of a guns in there too,
driving in their Mercedes-Benz and BMWs, and…
Oh, it's Debra now taking Ivory's…
that scarf and Jeff Jarrett up on the apron,
Jarrett has got the referee distracted.
-For what reason, I don't know what. -[Lawler] Debra, look out.
[JR] And now Nicole Bass is choking out Debra.
-[Lawler] Oh, my gosh. -[JR] Nicole is 6'3", 240.
Just choked out Debra, there's a cover.
-One, two, three… -[bell dings]
…and we got a new Women's Champion.
-[Lawler] Wait a minute. -[announcer] The winner with this bout
and new World Wrestling Entertainment Women's Champion, Ivory.
[JR] What was Jeff Jarrett thinking?
[Lawler] I don't know, but look at this, Ivory's the new Women's Champion.
[JR] And why did Nicole Bass come to help Ivory?
[Lawler] I'm in shock.
[JR] Jeff Jarrett.
[Lawler] Are the puppies okay?
[JR] Will you stop that?
Jeff Jarrett must've had a brain lapse.
The referee was distracted thanks to Jeff Jarrett, I don't know why.
And now, these two ladies are together.
Apparently, there's some sort of relationship
or a business arrangement, I don't know what that means.
[Lawler] Jeff is saying, "Okay, I'm still champ,"
but what about Debra's gold?
-[JR] And what about that board meeting? -[crowd booing]
I'll tell you what, folks, you want to meet a bunch of pompous stuffed shirts,
-overpaid windbag… -[Lawler] Hey.
…butt-kissing yes-men…
[Lawler] I'm telling you they'll put Austin in his place.
-Can't wait to see it. -[JR] Don't think so.
This happened earlier today in the World headquarters in Stanford.
Take a look at this footage.
All right. Gentlemen, and I use that term somewhat loosely.
There was that colleagues meeting here today,
our first meeting together,
so maybe we can get to know each other on a one-on-one basis here.
What I hold in my hands
is the new orientation manual,
and I expect each and every one of you
to memorize this thing, front to back, back to front,
whatever you got to do.
You got to understand what direction this company is now going.
You, take that, and if he can't read, you read it to him.
Let's start moving these office supplies away so I can see you.
Let me ask you a few questions,
find out what you do, what your damn names are.
You, sir, you do what and you are who?
I'm Deniss O'Rorke, senior vice president of marketing research and development.
Really, is that supposed to impress me?
-I hope so. -Well, you're fired.
-What'd I do? -[Lawler laughs]
You're fired for looking stupid, now get your ass out the door.
I said get your ass out the door.
-[JR] I never liked that guy. -[Lawler] He's been here nine years.
[Stone Cold] Your…on the way out.
[JR] Nobody knew what he did.
I hope I don't get to meet more smartasses here.
Hey, blockhead.
-Yeah, you. -Me?
-Yeah. What's your name? -My name is Jason Vasquez.
-Well, what do you do? -I'm a mailroom clerk here.
-Would you like a promotion? -Hell yeah.
Then come over here, sit your ass down, you got your promotion.
-Yes, sir, thank you. -[Lawler] That's a mailroom clerk!
Your job is, if I snap my fingers,
damn it, I want a beer, and I want it now, and I want it open.
-You got it. -[Lawler] You can't promote him.
Does anybody have a problem with Jason's promotion?
[Lawler] I do.
I said, does anybody got a problem with his promotion?
-[all] No, sir. -All right. Let's continue the meeting.
I'm really getting to know you guys. You, you do what?
My name is Kevin Albanese, I'm the director of MIS.
You got some pudding hanging off your nose there.
What does MIS mean? Men in [bleep]
No, Stone Cold, I'm in charge of the computer department here
at the World Wrestling Entertainment.
-Tell me more. -I take care of any…
No, no, I don't want to hear more,
because what I wanna do right now
is have a good old fashion beer-drinking contest.
Because I want to find out exactly where you guys stand.
The rules are simple.
I'm ma pass out this beer.
Jason, pick up all that damn beer that you spilled earlier,
-Do you do that at your house? -No, sir.
Then you won't do that here if you want your job, understand?
-Yes, sir, Stone Cold. -Well, pass these sum bitches some beer.
I want everybody to drink up.
The rules are this.
When I come back in this room,
if you're still standing, you still got a job.
If you're not standing, if you're laying on the ground,
puking and…[bleep] vomiting all over the place,
that means your ass is fired.
Hey, you. Start drinking the damn beer. No slackers.
Here, you get two of them. Make it three, there you go.
Hot shot lawyer, okay, there's another one for you.
[Lawler] Drinking those martinis and stuff.
If I snap my damn fingers, I better have one.
Gentlemen, start drinking right now and that's the bottom line,
-because the new CEO says so. -[Lawler] Oh, my God, no.
[JR] Maybe they'll get this right.
[announcer] And now, JVC Kaboom Box,
the portable music system with dual subwoofers
and 52 watts of ring-shaking power, presents the JVC Kaboom of the week.
[Lawler] He said he was gonna do it, he's doing it.
[JR] The chokeslam on The Big Show,
chokeslam, The Undertaker all the way to hell.
The ring has been destroyed by the maddest chokeslam I've ever seen.
[announcer] That was the JVC Kaboom of the week.
Presented by the ultimate head-banging music machine.
The JVC Kaboom Box. So loud it hurts.
[JR] And we are back.
Moments ago, it looked like Pat Patterson was trying to leave the building here.
[Brisco] Hey, Pat. Pat, Pat, Pat.
Where you going, Pat?
I'm thinking of go out and have a bit of fresh air.
Maybe I'll have a smoke or something.
Smoke? You got your bag with you, Pat.
-Come on, level with me. -All right. Jerry, how much can I take?
How much can I take?
I'm 58 years old. How much can I take from Vince McMahon?
Listen, Pat, after 20-some-odd years, you're just going to let that man win?
I don't want him to win.
Pat, you can't let him win like this.
Come on, I got a plan, Pat.
-Let's go. All right. Let's go do this. -You know I always do.
[JR] Well, Patterson and Brisco,
thanks to Mr. McMahon,
are gonna take on Mideon and Viscera later tonight here.
-[bell dings] -[Lawler] Pat had the best plan,
-leave the building. -[announcer] The following contest
is scheduled for one fall, is the official blind fold match.
[JR] This is a blind date match, ladies and gentlemen.
Test is going to be blindfolded against the Big Boss Man here momentarily.
Before last night on Heat,
what a shocker, it looked as if Test
was going to win the Intercontinental Title
after fellow union member, Ken Shamrock, interfered against Jeff Jarrett.
[Lawler] Yeah. Ken Shamrock, what's he got on his mind?
He's an idiot.
And, Test, he gets to win thanks to Shamrock.
[JR] However, Debra used her womanly ways
to convince Harvey Hooperman to reverse the decision.
[Lawler] And rightfully so, don't you think?
[JR] I think Harvey also gave her the Title to his car.
And his trailer.
-Or what do you think she promised him? -[Lawler laughs]
Being… talk to Test last night on Heat
about the date that Test had with Stephanie McMahon Saturday night.
By the way, that happened in Pittsburgh on Saturday.
[Lawler] Yeah. Test trying to tell me that absolutely nothing went on,
that they were just friends, and--
Come on, do you think I believe that for one minute?
I mean, let's face it.
Test, you know, he used to hang around with Motley Crue.
and we all know what Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson do on dates.
-[JR] I don't…travel that road again. -[Lawler] They got videos of it.
[JR] Well, this could be Austin's sentence
at the King of the Ring, a blindfold match.
Can you imagine Steve Austin being blindfolded
and having to fight both the McMahon men?
[Lawler] Good idea.
[JR] Well, what a night this is for The Corporate Ministry.
[Lawler] You heard Vince McMahon say it.
Test crossed the line when he took out Vince's and…
well, Vince's daughter and Shane's sister on a date,
and now he's gonna pay for it.
-[JR] That's a bunch of BS, you know it. -[Lawler] What?
[JR] BS, and you know what I'm talking about.
[chuckles] Well, this is a… this is a travesty here.
Here you got Boss Man taunting Test,
and now slapped Test, he can't even see to defend himself.
This crowd here is appalled.
I'm sure the crowd, all the folks watching live on TSN
are appalled as well,
at Vince McMahon's treatment of Test here
-in this blind date match. -[Lawler laughs]
[Lawler] You said the McMahons booked these matches
just for their own amusement? It's amusing me too.
[JR] I don't think it's funny at all.
I guarantee you that David and Goliath match-up tonight,
X-Pac versus The Big Show is not gonna be funny.
What about Ken Shamrock?
He's gotta wear a straitjacket tonight when he takes on Jeff Jarrett.
We know Patterson and Brisco, like lambs, they may be old lambs…
-[Lawler] Oh, look at that. -[JR] Right hand by Test.
Caught the Boss Man walking in.
Not to mention, The Rock and The Undertaker one-on-one here tonight.
And The Rock's got to win the match
to get his shot at the Title at the King of the Ring.
[Lawler] Oh, look.
Boss Man, don't tell him where you are, it's the only way he's gonna find you.
[JR] That may not have been a very judicious move by the Boss Man,
who has found himself into the… with a frying pan and--
Wait a minute!
The Boss Man with a knife stick, right in the temple.
[Lawler] I can see that coming, but Test couldn't. [chuckles]
[JR] Oh, that's really funny.
[announcer] The winner of this bout, as a result of disqualification, Test.
[Lawler] It's a blind date match. What do you expect?
[JR] What did Test do to deserve this?
He took Stephanie McMahon out on a date.
Hey, wait a minute. Stephanie there.
-[Lawler] What are you doing? -[JR] Stephanie McMahon.
-[Lawler] Get out of the… -[JR] She wants the Boss Man to stop.
[Lawler] I didn't even know she was here.
[JR] I didn't either.
-[Lawler] What are you doing, Stephanie? -[JR] She's coming to Test's aid.
And why didn't Boss Man hit her?
[Lawler] No, you don't…
You don't hit Stephanie, but why is she sticking up for Test?
[JR] Oh, why not?
Boss Man is too smart to blast Test with Mr. McMahon's daughter there.
[Lawler] Wait a minute there.
I'm telling you, there's more to this relationship than meets the eye.
I'm telling-- I'm telling Mr. McMahon about this.
[Stone Cold] Human Resources, just where I needed to go.
[JR] Stone Cold looking for the director of Human Resources.
[Stone Cold] There you guys are.
[chuckles] I'm digging the power tie there.
Let me get a good look at that.
Beautiful, you got to cut-out, you might have some potential.
[JR] That's Matt Deluca.
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin, CEO, you are what and what do you do?
My name is Sarah. I'm a Human Resource specialist.
Sarah, Human Resources specialist, let me see what we could do here.
Sarah, I want you to use your resources to get old Stone Cold a couple of cold beers.
Excuse me?
Move it or lose it, honey, I'm thirsty. I got meetings to do.
Could appreciate some respect.
-[JR] Yeah, Sarah. -Please don't hit me.
No, I am not here to hit you, son. Relax. Relax, all right?
You know we have here?
Let me tell you what we have here.
This is an orientation manual. Do you understand that?
What I want you do with this is to memorize it front to back,
back to front.
I want you to know the direction that this company is going in.
-Do you understand me? -Yes, sir.
Because you know what might happen? You know what might happen?
I might come back and quiz you today, tomorrow, whenever,
about the contents of this manual.
Something easy, like, let me see. Start you on for some basic like…
Here we go, we'll do this one.
Austin 3:16 says…
-I know that one. -Well, give it to me, kid.
I just whooped your…
It's okay, go ahead and say it. I'm telling you, CEO.
I'm giving you permission. Profanity is allowed here.
Austin 3:16 says…
-I just whooped your ass. -[Lawler] Don't say it.
Oh, my…
That's a brown-noser for you, JR.
You got to work on your attitude, son. Come from here.
Austin 3:16 says…
I just whooped your ass!
I knew you have some potential, kid. Do you know where accounting is?
-Right down the hall. -Then lead the way.
[Lawler] Look at this. What a brown-noser.
Look at the beak on his-- And look the swagger now.
[JR] Matt Deluca has got an attitude.
[Lawler] Oh, my gosh.
["Make Some Noise" playing]
[JR] And the Rattlesnake directing from new CEO here, as this night progresses.
And this is the David versus Goliath match-up.
First of all, in my opinion, that young man, X-Pac,
will take on Bob Holly in less than two weeks of the King of the Ring,
in the historic Greensboro Coliseum.
But tonight is a match ordered by Shane McMahon, David versus Goliath.
[Lawler] Right. Tonight, the McMahons and The Corporate Ministry
are giving us a night we will never ever forget.
This is great, a David and Goliath match.
[JR] And from what I hear, The Big Show wants no part of this.
The Big Show knows exactly what Shane McMahon wants.
Shane McMahon has never been able to beat X-Pac by himself,
so he wants The Big Show to do it for him.
[Lawler] And The Big Show should have no problem.
["Big" playing]
[Lawler] A David and Goliath.
I can't want to see Brisco and Patterson, they've kind of some kind of plan.
You know what? You heard Patterson.
He's so worried he's so old.
Patterson, I think he's still got the ticket stub
from the original David and Goliath match.
[JR] Oh, stop it.
Ladies and gentlemen, who will ever forget last week here on Raw.
A chokeslam from hell.
The Big Show showstopper that destroyed the ring
and almost destroyed the WWE Champion.
The Big Show known as much for his big heart
and his compassion for others, as he is about showing off his chokeslam.
[Lawler] Hush. Shut up. Let's get it on.
Slam him.
Listen, X-Pac, you got nothing to prove to me, it's all cool.
I don't want a part of this. It's all cool.
[Lawler] It's all cool? What do you mean?
[JR] And The Big Show is gonna forfeit the match.
That's what kind of man he is.
[X-Pac] Hey, man.
I understand why you don't want to fight me,
but I got one thing to say about that.
I fight for a living.
I'm a man. I've got pride. This thing has been booked.
So, if I get an ass-whipping, then so be it.
It won't be the first time. So, let's do this thing.
-[Lawler] Yeah. -[JR] This kid's got a lot of guts.
And sometimes, that no fear can be a blessing or a curse.
And I think tonight, it's a curse.
I admire Sean Waltman, X-Pac, as much as anybody can.
-[bell rings] -[Lawler] Look at that. Oh.
-We're gonna do it. -[JR] Oh, look at the ease.
Waltman maybe 200 pounds, The Big Show 500, and…
[Lawler yelps]
There's some hellfire in… and here comes Kane.
I don't think Kane wants X-Pac to fight The Big Show
any more than The Big Show does.
But I guarantee you one thing, in Greensboro at the King of the Ring,
we know that that man, The Big Red Machine,
will go nose-to-nose with The Big Show.
[Lawler] Well, look at this.
[JR] Yeah, there's no doubt.
Kane doesn't want X-Pac to have any part of this.
Shane McMahon is the cause of all this.
These guys should just walk away from him.
[Lawler] Wait a minute. Kane said he's gonna take the place of X-Pac.
[JR] X-Pac is not gonna like that.
I know this kid too well.
X-Pac doesn't want anybody fighting his battles but him.
[Lawler] No, I want to see this.
[JR] You're sick, you know that?
[Lawler] Look at this. Whoa. [laughs]
[JR] Kane, a right hand.
Maybe in Kane's own dominion mind, for X-Pac's own good.
And The Big Show is more than happy, more than willing.
-Uh-oh. -[Lawler] Let's do it.
[JR] The Big Show is more than willing to take Kane's head off right here.
And now, X-Pac,
knocking down his tag team partner,
because X-Pac wants to fight The Big Show who's leaning over to…
[Lawler] Oh, whoa.
[JR] The Big Show is leaning over to pick up Kane.
He got surprised there.
And The Big Show has… he is hot right now.
-The Big Show is angry. -[Lawler] Now, look.
[JR] His conscience has got the better of him.
The Big Show says, "I'm not gonna do it.
Shane McMahon is not gonna force me into something I don't want to do."
But I guaran-damn-tee you one thing, folks.
Cinch it up real tight there.
That's right, Sergeant.
You tell them to cinch it really tight, real right.
But while you're at it, I want you to pass a message to Vince McMahon.
We're not done wearing out Jeff Jarrett.
[shouts] I'm coming after his ass!
When I'm done with him,
anybody else that's in the way, I'm gonna stitch their ass too!
-Put the lock on. -Yeah, put it on.
Put it on good, till you lock it down.
Real tough guys, huh?
Yeah, you little clones.
You guys can't think for yourselves, huh?
Better stay the hell out of my way, because when I'm done,
I'm gonna beat the hell out of everybody else in my way.
Get out of my way!
[JR] No love left for Jeff Jarrett or Vince McMahon, that's next.
[narrator] The game of baseball requires complete control at all times.
[JR] Austin has ballistic here.
[narrator] Respect for your opponent's batting skills.
[JR] The Undertaker's got a baseball bat.
The Undertaker with the ball bat.
[narrator] But most of all, the ability to place a high heater right on that chin.
So, maybe Austin wasn't meant for Cooperstown.
But who cares when you're the CEO of the World Wrestling Entertainment?
To order the official baseball jersey of the new CEO, call 815-734-1161.
Visit the WWE website
or send a check or money order for $39.99,
plus nine bucks shipping and handling to the address on your screen.
[JR] It's certainly been a wild day at the WWE World headquarters.
It's gonna get wilder before this night is over.
Stone Cold met the receptionist,
and then he met Mr. McMahon's three secretaries.
-[all] Welcome, Mr. Austin. -Good morning, girls.
[Lawler] This is just awful…
If you ask me, I mean, he's creating havoc.
And I think he's creating an unsafe work environment there
for all Mr. McMahon's executives.
[JR] They're drinking beer for the first time.
But Mr. McMahon rose to the occasion himself, earlier tonight.
Sometimes, plans go awry.
And when they do, that tests the mettle of a man.
It tests the mettle of an organization.
And there are those among you
who wish that The Corporate Ministry would in fact disintegrate.
[crowd cheering]
Well, that's only wishful thinking.
Because that's not gonna happen,
that's not gonna happen tonight, that's not gonna happen any night.
["Urban Cowboy" playing]
[Lawler] You heard it, JR.
Not tonight, not any night.
[JR] Well, what did happen tonight was
that we have a new WWE Woman's Champion, that's Ivory.
With the help from Nicole Bass, Debra lost her Title.
[announcer] The following World Title contest…
[Lawler] Debra may have lost her Championship,
but she's still got her puppies.
[announcer] Introducing first…
[JR] You gonna have more of that footage of…
WWE World headquarters and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin,
a little bit later here tonight.
-[Lawler whistles] -And what about that straitjacket match?
Ken Shamrock, Jeff Jarrett right here.
And certainly last week, it was Mr. McMahon and Shamrock
scheduled to go at it in a lion's den match-up.
But look at the cheap shot. Boom, right there.
It was steel on skull.
[Lawler] And you know what, JR?
Any way you look at it,
thanks to that masterful execution of the ankle lock by Mr. McMahon,
Vince McMahon owns a victory over Ken Shamrock
[chuckles] in the lion's den, of all places.
[JR] I wonder how much McMahon paid Jeff Jarrett
for doing his dirty work.
[Lawler] Are you insinuating that there's some sort of relationship there?
[JR] You're damn right, I'm insinuating that.
[announcer] His opponent, from San Diego, California.
[JR] Look at poor Ken Shamrock.
[Lawler] That nut should've been locked up years ago.
[JR] This is exactly how Stone Cold
could wind up at the King of the Ring in Greensboro in a couple of weeks.
[Lawler] I think this would be my favorite.
But we're waiting for the official announcement from the McMahons
as to what stipulation will be for King of the Ring.
We'll find out tonight.
[JR] We're also gonna find out the stipulation
for The Rock, Undertaker match-up
we will see right here tonight.
I think Jeff Jarrett is going to this thing way too cocky.
[screaming]
[Lawler] This is gonna be a walk in a park Jeff.
Come on in there, Shamrock, get you some of Jeff Jarrett.
You think Jeff Jarrett's worried about Ken Shamrock's legs?
That's all he's got, his legs.
-[JR] Let me tell you something… -[bell dings]
…if you studied the mix martial arts and the training regimen of these guys,
you'll find out that they do a lot of training just with their legs,
-in case one of their arms is debilitated. -[Lawler] Right.
Martial arts. Kick like a girl, look at this.
The only legs that Jeff Jarrett are worried about are Debra's,
'cause everybody in this whole place is looking at 'em.
[JR] Well, maybe Jeff Jarrett better worry about Ken Shamrock.
[Lawler] For what? He's in a straitjacket.
[JR] I'll tell you somebody else had better worry about Shamrock,
is Vince McMahon himself.
A knock down, double leg takedown by Jeff Jarrett.
-And look at this. -[Lawler] What is this?
[JR] Shamrock's got the leg bind, hooking up the knee of Jeff Jarrett.
[Lawler] How'd he do that?
[JR] Desperate to get into the ropes.
When Ken Shamrock gets sick of this match, win, lose or draw…
[Lawler] What? Look at this!
[JR] Shamrock locking up Jeff Jarrett.
Jarrett better get in the ropes.
This is a submission move here.
Jarrett could be choked out by the legs of Shamrock.
[Lawler] Break it ref, come on. This guy is like a crab or something.
-He's like a-- Oh. Look at this! -[JR] Drop toe-hold by Ken Shamrock.
Jeff Jarrett came into this thing with a big head.
He came in to it, overconfident.
[Lawler] What do you expect to wrestle a guy in a straitjacket?
[JR] He's not prepared. He's the greatest intercontinental Champion of all time.
And I don't think he cared a bit that Debra lost her title earlier tonight.
[Lawler] How could you say such a thing?
But you're right, she still got her puppies.
[JR] If I was Vince McMahon,
I'd be a little bit concerned about what Shamrock is gonna do
when Shamrock gets his straitjacket off tonight.
[Lawler] Oh, I don't think Jeff Jarrett's
gonna leave much of Ken Shamrock after this straitjacket match.
[JR] Free shot there by Jarrett.
Shamrock can't get his arms up to even block the blow.
Is this fair? Hell, no, it's not fair.
-[Lawler] Oh, listen to you. -[JR] It isn't, King.
[Lawler] "Well, it isn't King" Who cares?
This is for Vince and Shane's amusement.
[JR] Oh, you're the-- You're a butt-kisser too.
[Lawler whistles]
-Do you want some Blistex? -[Lawler] Puppies!
[JR] How about some Vaseline
for those chapped butt-kissing lips of yours?
[Lawler] What are you talking about?
[JR] Jeff Jarrett now has got everything going his way.
Jarrett seems to be finally focused on Shamrock.
[Lawler] Like you're not expecting a promotion
like that mailroom boy from the new CEO?
[JR] Nothing wrong getting promoted. Shamrock with a shoulder block.
Shamrock can't use his hands.
He's in a straitjacket.
Quick move by Shamrock.
-A heel kick by Shamrock. -[screams]
[indistinct shouting]
He'll choke… He'll choke him out.
-Shamrock will choke Jarrett out. -[bell dings]
And Jarrett is tapping, Jarrett is tapping.
-Shamrock has won the match. -[announcer] Here's your winner…
-Ken Shamrock. -[Lawler] It's a choke! Referee!
Unlock it!
Look at that…
-[JR] There's Vince McMahon. -[Lawler] What's he doing?
-Tim White's gonna unlock Shamrock. -[Lawler laughs]
-McMahon with a cheap shot on White. -[Lawler] Get the key.
[crowd booing]
[JR] Vince McMahon's got the key
to the padlock that's locked up Shamrock's straitjacket.
[Lawler] That means… That means, Shamrock,
you're in there for a long, long time, pal.
[JR] Somebody's got to cut Shamrock out of that jacket.
[Lawler] With what?
[JR] Jeff Jarrett was entirely overconfident,
and now maybe this defeat will humble Jeff Jarrett
and bring him back down to Earth.
Jerry, I love the plans in the next few minutes…
-[crowd cheering] -[JR] Patterson and Brisco.
Well, The Brisco Brothers have a plan.
But will it work? We'll find out next.
It's gonna work.
-[machine buzzing] -It's beautiful, isn't it?
Is it-- It's just a, you know, a wonder of the world.
-Right. -It's-It's more…
It, like, is an honor for you to sit there and shave my ass.
It's something that you'd probably want to take home
and put on your mantle, isn't it?
Um, I think I see something here that doesn't…
[chuckles] You ain't kidding me, you see something?
You see a lot of ass.
I believe I see a zit…
You see a what? A zit?
Hey, that's my-- What did you do?
You did something with those clippers, I know you did.
-I didn't. -Yeah. Yeah, you did.
If you tell anybody, I mean anybody at all,
that you've seen a zit on my ass,
you will never, ever again, have the privilege of shaving my ass.
-[crowd cheering] -["Real American" playing]
[JR] I'll tell you what, Billy's got my word.
I'm not gonna tell anybody he had a big ol' zit on his butt.
[Lawler] Hey, what is GGB anyway?
[JR] I don't know, but they're planting those security cameras.
-They're getting their insurance paid up. -[bell dings]
[announcer] Following tag-team contest is scheduled for a one fall…
[JR] Patterson and Brisco…
…about to enter the ring, introducing first,
the team of Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco.
[JR] Well, we got this match right here,
The Acolytes took out Kane in a handicap match, that's still to come.
And what about The Rock and The Undertaker right here tonight?
But remember last week, new CEO, Steve Austin.
He booked Shane McMahon to take on Kane and X-Pac.
And the Shane's buddies,
the Mean Street Posse,
who aren't even supposed to be around here,
after losing a loser league title match
that Patterson and Brisco showed up.
But, boy, did they pay for it.
[Lawler] Oh, look at these guys.
Here's their plan, I guess.
Gonna use chairs against Mideon and Viscera?
It's not gonna make any difference.
[JR] Well, it may not.
I guarantee you Patterson and Brisco won't go down without a fight.
[Lawler] These guys are oughta sit down in those chairs.
[announcer] …Mideon and Viscera.
[JR] Mr. McMahon must be loving this.
Hey, wait a minute…
[JR] Watch out, there's the Mean Street Posse.
They came right out of the crowd.
Pete Gas and Rodney.
-[Lawler] Oh! -[JR] A low blow on Patterson.
[Lawler] These are Shane's friends.
[JR] Patterson and Brisco being assaulted here
by the Mean Street Posse.
[Lawler] I'm tell you, you don't mess with the Mean Street Posse.
Not tonight, not any night.
-[JR] Oh, look out here. -Oh!
A neckbreaker by [indistinct] on Gerald Brisco.
-And… oh, look out! My God! -[Lawler screams]
[JR] Patterson under all that Humanity.
[Lawler coughs] That's the largest man
-that's ever been on Patterson. -Oh!
[JR] Right there, 500 pounds.
Just smashed him down on the chest on the Hall of Famer.
[Lawler] I bet Mr. McMahon and Shane both are getting a big laugh out of this.
The McMahons love the misery of others.
[JR] No. Come on, the McMahons are just trying to determine
-the best stipulation for their match! -Good Lord.
[JR] They're about to King of the Ring with Steve Austin.
[Lawler] How did that 58… [indistinct] 59?
[JR] And this is absolutely unnecessary.
Nothing but a…an annihilation here.
The Corporate Ministry just dismantling Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco.
[Lawler] Not tonight, not any night, JR. You heard it.
[JR] Yeah, it's all BS. The Corporate Ministry rules.
[Lawler laughs] Look at him.
[JR laughs] Patterson and Brisco are gonna need some bodywork.
Got the Brisco Brothers out there in Tampa.
That's payback.
[JR] Those rich cunts.
Showing no respect for these legends.
Pete Gas and [indistinct] hard enough
[Lawler] Oh!
[JR] That's… Viscera again. That's 500 pounds.
Right down on Brisco's heart.
Enough is enough.
Oh, The Rock.
You gotta wonder what the McMahons have in store for The Rock,
when The Rock takes on The Undertaker tonight.
[Lawler] What's the stipulation? What's the stipulation?
It's right this way, Steve.
-This it? -Right in here.
Thank you, Tiger.
[Matt] Crazy son of a bitch.
-Chief, how you doing? -Good, good.
-This is accounting, correct? -Yes, sir.
All the numbers go onto pieces of paper, everything like it?
-This is the place. -I want to see some books.
-Oh… -[Lawler] The books?
Which set of books did you want to see?
How many you've got?
Give me some damn books so I can look at some numbers.
-[JR] "Which set"? -Okay.
[Lawler] How many sets are there?
See what we got. Let's see what we got.
Beautiful. I'm not an accountant,
but I'm smart enough to see what's going on.
-Okay. -Lot of big numbers here.
How come they're written in red?
Well, those are losses.
-Losses? -Yeah.
Why have we got losses? We need to be making money,
and I know we are. Why are these losses?
We have quite a few losses from some instance you involved in.
-Over the past year. -Like what?
Well, there was the Zamboni incident.
-The limousine incident. -[Lawler] Yes.
And the beer truck.
-[Lawler] Hey. -And…
-Nah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. -And the monster truck.
Enough already. Let's move on to different figures here.
-Okay. -That's a hell of a figure there.
What's the story on that?
That's Vincent McMahon's salary.
[laughs] Son of a bitch is making that much money?
He does all right.
I guess he does. I'll tell you what I want done.
Take a couple of these zeros and put them behind Mick Foley's salary.
The sum bitch needs help with his medical bills.
-[Lawler] What? -You understand me?
-We could do that. -Let's move on.
[Lawler] He can't do that, can he, JR?
-[JR] Yeah, right. -Good number. What's the deal on that?
Oh, that's Shane McMahon's salary.
Shane McMahon is making that kinda money?
-Yes. -I'll tell you what we want to do.
We want to change Shane McMahon's salary. Just scratch that off. We want that…
That is now the beer budget.
-[Lawler] Beer budget? -We don't have a beer budget.
Who said what?
-[Lawler] The… -[JR] Cold beer budget.
-[Lawler] We don't have a beer budget? -[JR] Here we go.
-["Burned" playing] -[Lawler] Oh, no.
[JR] Well, we have [indistinct] a handicap match
with the WWE tag titles here thanks to the McMahon men.
[Lawler] Oh, I hate that.
We get more footage from the headquarters?
[JR] Yeah, I'm wondering how that board meeting ended up.
[JR] All of those… drinking all that beer.
For the first time… never had a cold beer.
…for years I heard.
-[Lawler] What? -[announcer] Introducing the challenger,
weighing 328 pounds, Kane.
[Lawler] Kane will be the man that will go nose to nose
with The Big Show in two weeks
at the King of the Ring at Greensboro.
But tonight, Kane's got a big, red bullseye.
-Right on his ten-- [screams] -[Lawler screams]
[JR] And it's gonna get hot right here because Kane will face
two dangerous men, The Acolytes,
-for the WWE Tag Team Titles. -[Lawler] Right. Ladies and gentlemen,
playing the part of "Stone Cold" Steve Austin in this match is Kane.
-And here you see… -[announcer] And the following…
-[JR] The McMahons. -[Lawler] Right.
[announcer] With a combined weight of 567 pounds…
[JR] Daddy and the son.
…the World Wrestling Entertainment Tag Team Champions,
-The Acolytes. -[Lawler] Look at that.
[JR] Kane not showing any intimidation.
Stepping right into the… The fire here.
I guarantee you won't find any two tougher men in the world
than Bradshaw and Faarooq. I can guarantee that.
[Lawler] What about Vince and Shane?
[JR] Like I said, you'll never find two tougher men in the world
than Bradshaw and Faarooq.
[Lawler] Vince and Shane aren't intimidated
by "Stone Cold" Steve Austin either.
Two McMahons are better than one Steve Austin any day.
[JR] Or so you say.
Maybe we all don't all agree with that.
[Lawler] I think Vince said that.
[JR] Look at Kane hammer down Faarooq.
Man, this crowd here tonight has been jacked up.
-[Lawler] Ah! -From start to finish still to come.
The Rock versus The Undertaker.
-[Lawler] Oh! -And look--
Kane about to make sure it worked for Faarooq there.
And Bradshaw in. More double teaming.
Much like we suspect we'll see at the King of the Ring
when Vince and Shane McMahon meet the Rattlesnake.
[Lawler] What is the stipulation? What do you think?
Is it gonna be this type of handicap match,
the blind date or the straight jacket which…
You think Shamrock's still locked into that thing?
[JR] Poor Ken Shamrock.
Been treated like a government mule here tonight.
And… side slam by Kane.
Kane almost seven feet tall.
-About 325. -[Lawler] Oh!
[JR] Great athleticism. Buried the elbow right into the heart of Bradshaw.
And this crowd here is jacked up.
Much like they're gonna be, folks, in Buffalo, New York,
at the Marine Midland Arena.
That's gonna be on July 25th. Tickets are on sale now
in Buffalo. Great move there by Kane.
And don't forget, tickets went on sale today in Cleveland.
for Raw on Monday, July 26th. That's in Cleveland.
And finally, tickets go on sale Saturday in Washington D.C.,
for the big August event
-coming to the NCI Center. -[Lawler] Oh, man!
[JR] Tickets on sale Saturday, in the D.C. area.
[Lawler] Look at this.
[JR] Man, Kane has got so much power.
[Lawler] Watch it. They're in front of us.
[JR] I see it. I don't like it a bit.
-Oh, look out here. The Acolytes. -[Lawler] Get him.
[JR] The Acolytes dragging Kane out here.
Now they're just beating the hell out of him.
Watch it! Oh, God.
-[Lawler] Getting out of hand here. -[JR] What's happening?
Look out, kid.
-[Lawler] Good grief. -Kane has…
Kane made it to the championship.
[Lawler] He's gone crazy.
[JR] Kane with a right hand on Faarooq.
Breaking down here.
Again on Bradshaw. with a clothesline from hell.
It's two men versus one.
Is this what it's gonna be like at the King of the Ring?
Can you imagine what the McMahons could do to Austin if the…
-[Lawler] Look out. Told ya. -Look out.
Get him in the ring, will ya?
For goodness sakes.
Come on, get in the ring.
Get away from us.
Look out here. More double teaming.
[JR] Kane thrown right through the steel steps.
[Lawler] Yeah. Let me just say this, JR.
Anybody that thought there was a crack in the foundation
of the Corporate Ministry, take a look at this.
Not tonight, not any night.
[JR] And I still say it's all BS.
Corporate BS. And what a shock there by Bradshaw.
-And one by Faarooq. -Oh!
Two men versus one.
Thanks for that…
The hideous evil bookin' of Shane and Vince McMahon.
[Lawler] I could see Shane and Vince McMahon just pounding
with their big, huge muscular arms on Steve Austin in King of the Ring.
Have you seen Shane's biceps?
-[JR] No, I haven't looked at them yet. -[Lawler] Huge.
[JR] How do you see his arms with your head--
[Lawler] Hey, hey, hey, hey.
[JR] More double teaming now by The Acolytes.
There's very few teams in the game that can go step for step
with The Acolytes, as great as they are, as athletic as they are.
as nasty as they are. And there's the cover.
But Kane kicks out.
It is an amazing thing that one human being,
even though he's an extraordinary human being, Kane,
has been able to hang here this long with The Acolytes.
We saw Kane earlier in that facedown with The Big Show.
-[Lawler] Oh! -Big Show showed a lot of heart.
Didn't wanna… Didn't wanna fight X-Pac, but…
-[Lawler] Did you feel that? -Did you feel uncomfortable
-watching that, JR? -[JR] I did.
[Lawler] Why didn't you put your feet up on the desk
like "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, kickback and enjoy it?
[JR] 'Cause I ain't the CEO. I been working for a living.
I'll tell you this though. The Big Show is not gonna be worried,
intimidated, he ain't got a word of feelings
or empathy when The Big Show takes on Kane.
Folks, just envision that match.
The Big Show and Kane at the King of the Ring.
[Lawler] Yeah. Well, what if there's no Kane left after this match?
[JR] Well, he's got less than two weeks to heal.
That's all I can tell you.
[Lawler] You don't think that guy showed…
Showed Steve Austin our salaries, do you?
[JR] I was always wondering what you made.
-I heard it was an awful lot. -Hey, get it!
[JR] Bradshaw missing that clothesline .
But Kane with a [indistinct]
-[Lawler] Here we go again. -Chokeslam. [laughs]
Kane got through Bradshaw.
And now Faarooq's got to come in and pull Kane off of his partner.
[Lawler] Get him.
[JR] We got Kane one step ahead of Bradshaw and Faarooq here.
A handicap match for the WWE tag team title.
[Lawler] How's Kane doing it?
Uh-oh, here we go. This will put a stop to it.
[JR] Bradshaw with that steel chair.
No doubt Kane is the object of that.
-[Lawler] I hope. -A low blow by Faarooq.
[Lawler] Listen, listen. Ooh!
[JR] Oh, man!
What a shot to the head.
-And a double team. -[Lawler] Oh!
[JR] A neckbreaker by Bradshaw.
It took 'em both…
Both The Acolytes and a steel chair to beat Kane.
But The Acolytes got through.
Okay. This is [indistinct]
-[Lawler] Look out. -[JR] There's X-Pac with that chair.
[Lawler] Get away, get away.
X-Pac came to the defense of Kane.
[Lawler] Stay back.
[JR] Just like Kane came to X-Pac's defense earlier tonight.
And now Kane is up and The Acolytes are leaving.
Oh, how surprising is that.
The Acolytes wanted no part of two on two.
[Lawler] But they [indistinct]
I think this is my favorite stipulation for--
Uh-oh.
[JR] Shamrock looks like a…
[Lawler] This is my favorite stipulation.
-[screams] -[Lawler] Look at this idiot.
It looks like he needs to be in a rebel room.
-[screams] -[JR] Shamrock's gonna hurt himself.
-[screams] -[Lawler] Good.
-Oh, no. -[JR] Office where? Office what?
Mr. McMahon's office?
[JR] Folks, no doubt it has been a very eventful day
at WWE World Headquarters,
Stone Cold's first official day on the job as CEO,
he's done a lot of things now.
I understand that earlier today, our cameras, there you see it,
this is a shot of Mr. McMahon's office
and King will you look at all the plaques.
[Lawler] It's the most beautiful office I've ever seen.
[JR] McMahon's got a shrine to himself for gods sakes.
-[Lawler] He earned those awards. -[JR] Self-serving,
he's got his picture everywhere.
Mr. McMahon, honorable Mr. McMahon.
-[Lawler] He's a humanitarian. -that's an oxymoron in itself.
-[JR] He was responsible for… -[Lawler] Double platinum.
He's a philanthropist. I mean, this guy… Look at that.
[JR] That's before the face lift, I don't understand this.
This is all before the way it looked before Stone Cold arrived.
[Austin] You see Vince, after spending the entire day
going over the day to day operations,
the new CEO of the World Wrestling Entertainment
has determined that what you need here is just a little more [bleep].
Because I have been walking around in it all day,
I might as well be swimming in it.
I got a little something for you.
[Lawler] What's he doing JR?
-How many beers has he drank? -Bring it on in, boys.
[JR] All in moderation.
-Oh, look at this. -[Austin] Boys, bring that [bleep] in.
Bring it on in, boys.
-[Lawler] What is this? -Whole room is full of [bleep].
-[Lawler] JR! -[JR] I know what it is.
Bring the [bleep] in. Come on.
[overlapping chatter]
[JR] That's cow manure.
The CC brothers are bringing in cow manure.
[Austin] "Stone Cold" Steve Austin don't spare no expense.
Wheel that [bleep] in.
Come on boys, I said bring in some more [bleep].
We got a good pile here but this ain't good enough.
-[Lawler] It's gonna stink to heaven. -I hate you …
-Dump on this pile. -[Lawler] The flies? What about
-the dung beetles? -The bottom line is
Vince's place smells like [bleep].
[Lawler] Vince, get out here.
Oh, look now, Stone Cold's…
he's pouring beer on it.
[JR] I bet it's high quality cow manure.
Well, the McMahons are headed our way
after Vince has just seen his office
filled with cow manure,
thanks to "Stone Cold" Steve Austin,
-[Lawler] We're gonna see some retaliation -the new CEO.
[Lawler] This is gonna be good.
[JR] How are the McMahons going to react?
[Lawler] How are they gonna retaliate?
[JR] And who are they gonna take it out on?
Oh, there's gonna be some repercussions,
maybe Austin's stipulations are coming next.
[JR] And we are back ladies and gentlemen,
Vince and Shane McMahon on their way out here now
and back at the ranch, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin
has had cow manure poured all over Mr. McMahon's office.
-Can you imagine the stench? -[Lawler] You mean BS.
I mean this is awful.
Yeah, I can imagine the stench and the flies and the dung beetles.
I can't imagine what Mr. McMahon and Shane are gonna do about this.
[JR] The rattlesnake has pushed the McMahon men folk
right to their limit.
Look at the look on Shane and daddy's face tonight.
They're not happy.
And remember they're gonna wrestle Stone Cold or fight Stone Cold
two on one at the King of the Ring in less than two weeks.
[Lawler] You heard what Vince said, the only thing worse
than Stone Cold being the champion
is Stone Cold being the CEO of the WWE.
Oh, look at this. Get that sign down you idiot.
[JR] Maybe we're gonna get those stipulations
for the handicap match at the King of the Ring here.
It's about time.
He's upset. I guess.
Austin…
Stone Cold, you have disgraced
the World Wrestling Entertainment with your mere presence
in that beautiful edifice
of the World Wrestling Entertainment World Headquarters.
Austin, I won't forget
and I won't forgive what you've done on this day.
But hear this, Austin,
we can't wait for the opportunity when you no longer
will be the CEO.
So, this is our challenge, Austin.
-[Lawler] Uh-oh. -We take this CEO title of yours.
We take Shane's stock in the company,
we take Vince's stock in the company
and you take all of that and you hang it,
you hang it above the ring at the king of the ring
and the only way to reach up
and grab it all, Austin,
is by climbing a ladder.
-[Lawler] Oh, no. -That's right.
Austin versus Shane and Vince in a Ladder Match, Austin.
-[Lawler] Yes! Wow! -That's the stipulation.
-[JR] At the… -With only one other stipulation
by the way to come tonight.
[JR] What's that mean?
And that relates to you, Rock.
[JR] Oh, okay.
If you can be victorious in your match this evening with The Undertaker,
then Rock you will have your title shot at he King of the Ring.
-[Lawler] It's a promise. -However,
remember that very special stipulation, Rock.
[JR] What is it?
-And that stipulation for tonight-- -["The Ultimate" playing]
[JR] Hey, wait a minute, that's Shamrock's music.
-Look out, here comes Shamrock. -[Lawler] Look out!
-[JR] Here comes Shamrock. -[Lawler] He's loose.
[JR] Shamrock on Shane.
Shamrock suplexes Shane
and Mr. McMahon is running for his life.
[Lawler] Get away, Vince.
[JR] Shamrock is chasing McMahon right out of sight.
[Lawler] Shane's hurt, he's hurt bad.
[JR] What's gonna happen next, when The Undertaker meets The Rock?
[JR] Ladies and gentlemen here's what happened moments ago,
Ken Shamrock shocked us all,
but no one more than the McMahon's
and watch Mr. McMahon, he shoved Shane
-right into Shamrock. -[Lawler] He did not.
-He did not. -[JR] He did, watch this.
[Lawler] Look at this, Vince is about to lunge at Shamrock
and Shane was inadvertently in the way.
-[JR] Vince used his own son as a shield -Oh, come on.
and Shane got suplexed for the effort.
[Lawler] Vince was about to tear Shamrock's head off.
[JR] And that's why he's … Shamrock into false sense of security here.
-I got the door, just drive. Go! -[JR] Look at him,
he looks like a bank robber on a getaway.
-[Lawler] Huh? -[JR] Huh?
… not there.
Vince wanted no part of Shamrock.
He even left Shane back here.
[Rock] You smell what The Rock is cooking?
[Lawler] Vince has got the Ladder Match to think about, that's what it is.
[JR] Yeah, all or nothing Ladder Match against the King of the Ring.
[Lawler] The way I heard that if Austin wins the match,
he wins Vince and Shane's …in the company
and remains CEO.
[Lawler] Vince and Shane could be left with nothing?
[JR] Nothing, it's all or nothing at the King of the Ring.
-[Lawler] … risk. -[announcer] The Rock!
[JR] Well, Mr. McMahon said earlier that The Rock must win this match,
he must win this match tonight to earn a WWE title match
at the King of the Ring, versus The Undertaker.
[Lawler] Ladies and Gentlemen, Super Soaker,
presenting 1999 King of the Ring live from the Greensboro Coliseum.
Super Soaker. Charge it, pump it, soak it.
[JR] Great seats are still available out in Greensboro, I guarantee ya.
They're not gonna last long and that is a magical arena.
The Greensboro Coliseum.
["Ministry" playing]
-[Lawler] Uh-oh. -[JR] A lot of folks
are gonna want to see the Latdder Match in person.
[Lawler] I can't believe that.
[JR] What about this match right here, in the Coliseum in Greensboro.
Could it be that The Rock wins tonight
and then The Rock gets a chance
for the glory one more time against The Phenom.
[Lawler] Not tonight, not any night.
And what about the stipulation for this match?
[JR] Maybe there's…
[Lawler] Shane was just about to get to it
when Vince was gonna lunge at Shamrock and Shane got in the way.
-[JR] Oh, please. -[Lawler] What?
[JR] You could… on Shamrock,
… there's not gonna be a stipulation here.
-[Lawler] There's got to be a stipulation. -[JR] 'Cause this is a getaway card
-and Shane is probably in the EMT's room. -[Lawler] Huh?
-[JR] Oh, look at that. -Oh, that's gonna be nasty right here.
What, what the hell is that?
[JR] That's Triple H's music
-but… -[Lawler] What?
[JR] I don't have a clue.
[Lawler] What's Triple H doing out here, with that jezebel Chyna.
Rock,
before Shane was rudely interrupted,
he didn't get to make mention of what the little stipulation was.
What the stipulation is, Rock,
is me.
-[Lawler] What? -[Triple H] It's a Triple Threat,
you gotta get through him
-and you gotta get through me. -[Lawler] What?
[JR] That's not right at all,
The Rock had no time to prepare for this whatsoever.
So, it's a Triple Threat Match here tonight,
a match that The Rock must win
to get what The Rock wants at the King of the Ring,
that's a WWE title match with The Undertaker.
[Lawler] What a great stipulation. Shane has done it again.
[JR] This is gonna be a legal mugging.
This is a two on one assault.
[Lawler] You know what, no wonder you call Shane the boy wonder.
Get it? No wonder, he's the boy wonder.
-Oh. -[JR] And this maybe
more what Stone Cold has in store
for himself now at the King of the Ring in that Ladder Match.
Two of…
[JR] It's an assault here.
[Lawler] It's a what?
[JR] Two men on one, King, it's not fair and you know it.
[Lawler] All is fair in the WWE.
[JR] Great shot there by Helmsley coming off the table here.
Right on the head of The Rock.
The Rock fed to the lions by the McMahon's here
in this Triple Threat Match
and there's no doubt that Triple H and The Undertaker
have been sent out here with specific orders
to dismantle The People's Champion.
[Lawler] I'll tell you one thing JR,
the Corporate Ministry is a thing of beauty, look at this.
[JR] What a shot with the elbow by the WWE champion.
Remember, if The Rock does not win this match,
The Undertaker does not have to defend the WWE title against The Rock
-at the King of the Ring. -[Lawler] You know what, JR,
you're just like all the rest of these idiots,
you and all of these people were hoping for a crack
in the foundation of The Corporate Ministry.
[JR] Cover and The Rock kicks out.
[Lawler] You were hoping for it but just like Mr. McMahon said,
-"Not tonight, not any night". -[JR] Well, I still think it's BS
and this night is still not over.
Helmsley showing that pronounced mean streak
and it's getting tougher and tougher every week that goes by.
-[JR] Irish whip by The Undertaker. -[Lawler] Yes!
[JR] Catches The Rock,
with a clothesline and then a vile uppercut
and now Helmsley comes and gets him some.
[Lawler] Yeah, this is what Shane will be doing to Steve Austin
and let Vince climb up the ladder and get it all.
[JR] It is an emotionally charged
King of the Ring in less than two weeks
-in Greensboro. Oh, yeah, wow. -[Lawler] Watch it! Whoa, wait a minute.
[JR] The Rock, well he showed some signs of life there on offence,
did The Rock, but two on one
and two athletes to caliber of The Undertaker,
he's the WWE champion and Triple H a former King of the Ring.
Maybe too much for any one man to overcome.
[Lawler] Yeah, not tonight, not any night Rock.
[JR] That's BS, King.
You know, you keep selling it, nobody is buying it.
[Lawler] Well, you keep talking about BS and all the BS
is in poor Mr. McMahon's office,
that beautiful lush, plush office.
Now it stinks to high heaven.
Imagine what it would be like tomorrow morning, the flies.
Have you ever seen a dung beetle?
[JR] I can't say I have, well, maybe one time but that was years ago.
I'll tell you what, Helmsley and The Undertaker
are working very well together here
with one singular goal in mind
and that is to disable The Rock
and make sure The Rock does not win this match-up.
[Lawler] Not tonight, not any night.
[JR] Triple H backing down the referee as The Undertaker
chokes the life out of The People's Champion, The Rock.
[Lawler] The People's Champion.
Corporate ministry, that's what it's all about now it looks like.
Oh!
[JR] Another shot by Triple H and The Rock is staggered.
This is a Triple Threat Match that The Rock has to win.
A swinging neck breaker
and The Undertaker caught The Rock coming up.
A great move there
by The Rock on Triple H.
But the undertaker was right there awaiting The Rock.
[Lawler] Tell him about it Paul Bearer.
-[JR] Paul Bearer is so hideous. -[Lawler] What?
[JR] That's what he is, hideous.
[Lawler] Well, that's what Mr. McMahon's office is now,
thanks to "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
[JR] They say cow manure is good fertilizer,
maybe something will grow in there.
[Lawler] Are you trying to grow something in his carpet?
Triple H and The Rock now exchanging right hands
and The Rock getting better of the situation.
Here comes The Undertaker, what are these guys going?
[JR] Yeah.
I don't like this at all, The Rock knows what it's like
to be thrown off that stage.
[Lawler] Something bad can happen there.
[JR] They did it once before
-and it broke The Rock's arm. -[Lawler] Uh-oh, look out.
-The Undertaker is going, -[Lawler] Watch out.
The Undertaker is going off. No.
[JR] Triple H hooked The Rock from behind
and looked as if the WWE champion
-was about to take the big fall. -[Lawler] Watch it!
[JR] Helmsley right into the steel,
-a shot from behind by The Undertaker. -[Lawler] Watch it!
[JR] The Rock cannot build any offence here
or any momentum
thanks to the skills and the gameplan if you will
of The Undertaker and Triple H.
[Lawler] The corporat4e ministry, it's the Corporate Ministry.
[JR] Now look at that pair, that's a pair…
Chyna and Paul Bearer
if The Undertaker and Triple H aren't enough to contend with.
You gotta factor in the Ninth Wonder of the World
and the rotund one.
Look at this, that's a choke.
[Lawler] I'm thinking The Rock may not even make it to the King of the Ring.
[JR] The Rock must be thinking
what the hell is this all about,
every time he builds any offence…
Uh-oh, look out here.
-Pedigree on a steel object. -[Lawler] Oh, this is good,
-[JR] Oh, Piledriver time. -Piledriver.
-[JR] He's got it. -[Lawler] Rock.
[JR] Helmsley right back on the steel
and a low blow by The Rock
and then The Rock beats The Undertaker to the punch.
-[Lawler] Watch it. -The People's Champion
hammering the WWE champion.
[Lawler] Uh-oh, we got problems… Oh, there we go.
Thank goodness.
[JR] The Rock head first into the steel steps,
it looked as if The Rock was gonna build some momentum
in this must win situation for The Rock.
[Lawler] Come on Triple H, come on down.
[JR] The Rock must have pain
riveting through his body now.
A straight right hand
by the evil Undertaker, the WWE champion and now Helmsley's back.
Triple H measures The Rock
and another right hand,
Triple H stomping away at a helpless Rock,
giving The Undertaker time to catch his breath.
There's always a fresh man,
a fresh Corporate Ministry member on The Rock.
[Lawler] This is just like it's gonna be at King of the Ring
with the McMahon's there, always gonna be a fresh McMahon.
[JR] The evil Chyna…
[Lawler] Nah, evil don't look that good.
[JR] She has no conscience either.
She doesn't care about anybody but herself
and her Corporate Ministry members, that's all.
[Lawler] Corporate Ministry.
[JR] The end may be near now for The Rock.
[Lawler] Sorry about your luck, Rock.
[JR] Well, The Rock gave it all he had.
Another knockdown by The Undertaker.
[Lawler] Well, it was a night of stipulations,
everybody thought they'd see
something bad happen to the Corporate Ministry
but look how great they're looking.
[JR] The 27-year-old Rock's career
is being shortened right before our very eyes
at this onslaught from The Undertaker and Triple H.
[Lawler] Pounding, hitting.
[JR] This is exactly what the McMahon men wanted.
The Rock had no time to prepare
for both Triple H and The Undertaker.
[Lawler] This is what Shane McMahon wanted,
this stipulation was Shane's idea.
Triple Threat Matches, they're dangerous.
[JR] Rock sent for a ride and Helmsley caught right in the face.
Triple H in the face and The Rock will knock down from the clothesline.
And again exactly, The Undertaker well rested
was waiting in the wings there so to speak and nailed The Rock with a right hand.
The Phenom, almost seven feet tall,
330 pounds walking the top rope.
[Lawler] This is a thing of beauty right here when The Undertaker…
-[JR] Oh, watch… Oh! -Oh!
[JR] Helmsley inadvertently knocks The Undertaker off balance
and outside to the apron,
who's now on the floor goes the WWE champion.
Finally it's one on one.
Finally The Rock has Triple H by himself.
[Lawler] Get in there, Undertaker.
-[JR] The Pedigree. -[Lawler] Yes!
Triple H looking for the Pedigree here, The Rock counters.
Here comes the catapult.
[Lawler] Look out! Uh-oh.
Referee caught between Triple H and the turnbuckle.
The Rock looking for the Rock Bottom.
Here comes the Rock Bottom.
-Oh, no. -[Lawler laughs]
-[JR] The Undertaker with a chokeslam. -[Lawler] Yeah.
[JR] Two amazing athletes like The Undertaker and Triple H,
too much for any one man.
And the end has got to be near here.
[Lawler] Sorry Rock, not tonight, not any night.
You fought a valiant fight,
you were tough, Rock… Wait a minute.
[JR] Undertaker, inadvertently, oh, wait a minute.
-[Lawler] Wait a minute is right. -[JR] Rock Bottom!
Can he hit? Yes.
The Rock Bottom on The Undertaker.
-[JR] Oh, my God. -Helmsley is on the outside.
[JR] The People's Champion.
[Lawler] Get in there, Triple H.
-[Lawler] No. -[JR] The People's Elbow.
[Lawler] …
[JR] The Rock looking for the People's Elbow.
[Lawler] Oh, no.
[JR] And he got it.
Right into the heart of Undertaker,
there's the cover.
-One, two, three. It's over. -[Lawler] There's no referee in there.
-It's not. Oh, what's he doing here. -[JR] Cover. Another ref.
This must be it. Two and three.
Hey! Chyna pulled the referee out.
-[Lawler] … -[JR] Consider it over.
This should be over.
The Rock's got this match won.
Counting and oh, damn.
Helmsley interrupted the count.
The Rock had the match won.
Man, we're back now where we started here.
[Lawler] I think we almost witnessed a miracle here.
[JR] A right hand by Triple H,
The Rock is somehow… Victory just
slipped through The Rock's fingers there
and he may not get a second opportunity tonight.
Oh, Chyna thought that was…
[Lawler] Wait, Chyna, that was The Undertaker.
[JR] Chyna inadvertently tripped The Undertaker.
-[Lawler] No! -[JR] She must've thought it was The Rock.
[Lawler] Whoa!
[JR] And the champion didn't like that a bit.
[JR] My god, The Undertaker has got Chyna by the throat.
[Lawler] Wait a minute, Triple H, what are you doing?
[JR] Triple H…
-[Lawler] What in the world? -[JR] Triple H came to Chyna's aid.
Rock Bottom. The Rock Bottom.
-[Lawler] No, wait. -[JR] The leg is up.
-[Lawler] Get in there. -[JR] Yes!
-[JR] The Rock wins. The Rock wins. -[Lawler] What?
[JR] The Rock's on his way to the King of the Ring.
The WWE title will be on the line.
[Lawler] I can't believe it.
[JR] In two weeks, The Undertaker and The Rock,
they've got to get it on now.
And The Phenom is not a happy champion.
[Lawler] What's happened to the Corporate Ministry?
Oh, no.
[JR] … what about those …
Helmsley and Undertaker.
[Lawler] We need Vince back here.
[JR] The Corporate Ministry…
[Lawler] Turn the limo around.
[JR] … It seems to be disintegrating.
[Lawler] Get out here, somebody help,
-stop this. -[JR] Not tonight, not any night.
[Lawler] Oh, shut up.
Stop them.
[JR] The Corporate Ministry has disintegrated.
It could be a bad omen
just two weeks before the King of the Ring.