[intro music playing]
[Mr. McMahon] At Judgment Day,
we took the World Wrestling Entertainment Championship
from The Rock.
Tonight we will simply take what's left.
[JR] Oh, and The Rock! The Rock is dismantling DX!
The Rock is beating the hell out of Shane!
The Rock laying a smackdown on Vince McMahon!
McMahon, the Rock Bottom!
And here comes The Phenom!
The Undertaker is kicking ass!
[Lawler] Run, Vince!
[JR] Oh, my God, a Rock Bottom!
All the way to people's hell!
-Oh, my God! -Look at this!
The Undertaker making a beeline for Mr. McMahon!
[Lawler] He tried to run Vince over!
[The Undertaker] You get the pleasure of paying me
lots of money to kick your stank ass.
[JR] Oh! And now it's Shane McMahon
one on one with The Undertaker.
[Lawler] I want to remind Linda McMahon of something!
You are responsible for this, Linda!
Your own son being pummeled!
[JR] So much for The Giant Killer. Wait, here comes the cavalry!
And The Undertaker is cleaning up DX!
[Lawler] Oh, my God!
[JR] And now DX tries to storm The Undertaker.
[Lawler] You got to admit The Undertaker's got a little numbers problem now.
Wait a minute! The Brahma Bull is back!
-[JR] What? -[Lawler] Rock's back!
[JR] The Rock and Undertaker cleaning house.
The Regime being dismantled.
Triple H may be champion,
but The Rock and Undertaker have put The Regime through a living hell.
[echoing] Hell!
♪ It's my life in a box And charred to beat ♪
♪ Taking chalk in my arms It's the soul of me ♪
♪ You want fire ♪
♪ Ashes see me laid face down ♪
♪ What am I? The thorn in your eye ♪
[crowd cheering]
[fireworks popping, whistling]
[JR] Since Judgment Day, the McMahon-Helmsley Regime
has seen very, very hard times.
And, King, will tonight be any different?
[Lawler] I gotta say this, JR.
The McMahon-Helmsley Regime is not going to put up
with the treatment they've been receiving.
They've got to do something about it and they'll start tonight.
[JR] We're sold out at here in Vancouver for the King of the Ring qualifying.
♪ You've done it now ♪
♪ You've gone and made a big mistake ♪
♪ And I can't allow ♪
♪ You to think you can just walk away ♪
♪ So turn around ♪
♪ And face the piper you're gonna pay ♪
♪ 'Cause the end is now ♪
♪ This is gonna be your Judgment Day ♪
[Lawler] Oh, my God!
♪ But cheap shots… ♪
[JR] There's one American badass!
Astride that motorcycle is The Undertaker.
♪ But things will never ever be the same ♪
♪ Nice guys ♪
[Lawler] He's no longer a Phenom, JR, he is now
a bona fide American badass.
♪ They're always kickin' assholes' ass ♪
♪ You're gonna pay, you're gonna pay ♪
[Lawler] What a night this is gonna be!
♪ You're gonna pay, you're gonna pay ♪
At the 7' tall mark…
[JR] 325 pounds…
of the baddest, the nastiest,
human being to perhaps ever step foot in the WWE.
[Lawler] You're right, since Judgment Day
he and The Rock have made life a living hell
for the McMahon-Helmsley Faction.
[JR] General Motors Place sold out in 25 minutes here in Vancouver.
[crowd cheering]
[rock music playing]
[JR] Just as The Undertaker was about to address this capacity crowd,
you at home are being interrupted by the McMahon-Helmsley Regime.
[Lawler] You got to admit, JR, it takes a brave group
to interrupt The Undertaker.
[JR] The Undertaker is here.
The McMahon-Helmsley Regime here on the stage,
The Rock is scheduled to be here tonight as well.
As we said, our King of the Ring qualifying tournament match-ups
start tonight.
Shane McMahon versus Rikishi.
[Lawler] And don't forget Kid Rock! Kid Rock is here live tonight!
[JR] Plus Chris Benoit defends the Intercontinental title
against Hardcore Holly.
But The Regime has interrupted The Undertaker.
And here they come, does The Regime.
And you gotta think, King, with some evil intentions.
[Lawler] They didn't even let The Undertaker get one word out.
[JR] Look at Triple H.
As we said, ever since Judgment Day,
the McMahon-Helmsley Regime has fallen on hard times.
Thanks to not only The Rock but The Undertaker as well.
[Lawler] Look at Vince. Look at Vince.
[crowd cheering]
[JR] Strength in numbers.
The Regime knows that, and so does The Undertaker.
[Lawler] Vince has got the grapefruits.
[JR] I wouldn't touch that bike if I were you guys.
Not unless you got your health insurance paid up.
Look at Vince McMahon.
Even here in Canada, people think that this Regime are assholes.
[Lawler] Hey!
You know, I'd like to come out here
and be the first guy to express to you
just how great it is…
-[crowd chanting] Assholes! Assholes! -[Lawler] Oh, please!
[JR] Triple H addressing The Undertaker.
[Lawler] Listen to these foul-mouth Canadians. Blame Canada, Triple H.
[crowd chanting] Assholes!
I'd like to express just how great it is
to have the one true American Badass
back in the World Wrestling Entertainment!
Welcome home, Undertaker!
Welcome home!
[Lawler] Did he say how nice it is to have The Undertaker back?
And I mean, as happy as all of they are that you're back,
nobody is happier than me.
-[Lawler] I can't believe that. -[JR] Good reason for that.
I really mean that because, after all,
you've been back just a short period of time.
And hell, already you've done me a huge favor.
You see, because at Judgment Day,
it was pretty clear I was gonna kick The Rock's ass
and become the World Wrestling Entertainment champion again.
[JR] That's an arguable point, quite frankly.
[crowd booing]
But you, my friend, you saved me the effort.
I didn't have to do my job myself because you did it for me.
[crowd chanting] Rocky!
[JR] And chanting for Rock.
That's right, Rocky.
The man that The Undertaker defeated
to put the World Wrestling Entertainment title back where it belongs.
Around my waist.
-[crowd booing] -[Lawler] Rocky's here tonight.
[JR] Sure is.
And, Rock… I mean, Taker, I'll tell ya.
Being the kind of man that I am, it's really been bugging me.
I mean, I haven't been able to sleep at night
knowing that I never got to personally thank you for what you did.
And I know you're out here right now
to take credit for yourself and blow your own horn.
Because, quite frankly, that's what you do.
But let me do it for you.
I am out here to publicly…
thank you for what you did for me and for all the people.
Undertaker, thank you very much.
[JR] Just how disingenuous is this whole dissertation?
-[Lawler] That seemed very sincere to me. -Sure it would.
Well, firstly…
You need to thank me for not coming down right now
and kicking all of your ass.
[crowd reacts]
Sure.
But there's one thing we do need to get straight.
And we'll get it straight right now.
I don't do anything for anybody except myself.
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] I knew he was selfish.
Now any chance from this day forward,
that I get a chance to slap a knot on any one of you assholes,
I'm gonna take it.
[JR] And he means it, folks. The Undertaker means it.
[Lawler] His mouth is dirtier than a wicker toilet seat.
And there's one more thing there, fancy pants.
[JR] Uh-oh.
[The Undertaker] That belt?
Yeah, that belt that's on your shoulder.
[crowd chanting] Fight, fight!
It belongs to me.
[JR] Uh-oh.
-[Lawler] To The Undertaker? -[JR] Uh-oh!
I'll tell you what.
You have been gone quite a while, haven't you?
But let me fill you in on what's happened since you've been gone.
You see, things have changed.
And now when you run your mouth around here, we close it.
The only way you're getting close to this belt, pal,
is when I shove it down your throat.
[Lawler] This is gonna be good!
[JR] The Regime surrounding The Undertaker here.
[Lawler] I told you there's strength in numbers. And you're about to see that, JR.
["Electrifying" playing]
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] It's The Rock! What's he doing here now?
The Rock!
[JR] The Rock has… has interrupted the proceedings here.
[Lawler] Rock, I don't think this concerns you.
[JR] Just as it seemed that the McMahon-Helmsley Regime
was about to pour into the ring
and take apart The Undertaker, or at least attempt to do so.
[Lawler] This was between Triple H and The Undertaker, Rock.
[JR] King, it's between The Rock, too,
because it was The Rock that lost the WWE title at Judgment Day.
[Mr. McMahon] Wait a minute. Whoa! Whoa, whoa!
-Whoa! -[Lawler] Listen up!
[Mr. McMahon] Whoa, whoa!
-[Lawler] Here we go. -Yeah.
Uh…
I got it now.
[crowd chanting] Rocky!
This is a real simple picture to see.
I see this is what's known as the buddy system, I guess, huh?
Yeah, that's what's known as the buddy system.
What we have here is we have The Undertaker,
on Monday night, coming to the rescue.
-[crowd roaring] -Shut up!
[Lawler] Yeah, shut up!
[crowd booing]
We have The Undertaker,
coming to the rescue of The Rock on Monday night.
That, of course, was after he screwed him out of the title.
[Lawler] Yeah, remember that?
And then on Thursday, we have The Rock
coming to the rescue of The Undertaker before The Faction kicked his ass.
[Lawler] That's right.
So it's obvious to me this is a deal
whereby The Undertaker scratches your back.
And, Rock, you scratch his, right?
-Is that what we got? -[Lawler] A buddy system? That's it.
[laughs] Vince figured it out.
He's got mental acumen.
[crowd chanting] Rocky!
I think Rock hates to admit it.
He hates to admit Vince is right.
No, Vince, this thing between The Rock…
[crowd cheering]
Vince, this thing between The Rock and The Undertaker
isn't a case of "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours."
It's more along the lines of Shane scratches his ass,
Triple H kisses your ass and you sniff a monkey's ass!
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] Monkey's ass? What?
[indistinct shouting]
And make no mistake about it,
any time The Rock has a chance to get his hands on you,
Road Dogg, X-Pac, Triple H, Shane,
it's a good day, and it becomes an even better day
when The Rock can make change out of that $2 walking slut Stephanie.
[crowd cheering]
[JR] Two dollar? It's that two dollar Canadian?
[Lawler] Wait! Don't you start that, too.
That beautiful lady.
[JR] There ain't no collusion with The Rock and The Undertaker.
They ain't buddies either way.
[Lawler] Well, they scratch each other's back.
The fact of the matter is this, Vince.
One way or the other, The Rock will do all he can
to one day once again become WWE champion.
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] Including hurting Stephanie's feelings.
[JR] Undertaker's already cleared the deck.
Okay, I got it.
What we have here is two individuals with common enemies.
The McMahon-Helmsley Faction.
[JR] That's accurate.
We have two individuals with common goals.
They both want to be the WWE champion.
-[JR] That's exactly right. -Vince is a genius.
So therefore, tonight in Vancouver in that very ring…
[JR] Wait a minute.
[Lawler] I think… Listen to this.
[Mr. McMahon] You will not see Triple H defend the WWE title.
No, you're not good enough for that.
-[JR] Not good enough? -[Lawler] That's right. This is Canada.
But what you will see, one-on-one,
since they have so much in common, it will be The Undertaker,
one on one with The Rock.
[JR] Oh, my God!
The Undertaker and The Rock live tonight!
[Lawler] We'll see if there's a buddy system or not, won't we JR?
[JR] The evil genius, Mr. McMahon has struck again.
[Lawler] This is great!
[JR] McMahon just flipped The Rock to take on The Undertaker.
And now The Rock and The Undertaker,
you've got to believe behind those glasses,
they have their eyes locked on each other.
[Lawler] Yeah, they're thinking, "My God, what am I gonna do now?"
[laughs] Vince is a genius!
[JR] We're back live, still shocked over the announcement
made just moments ago by Vince McMahon, making our main event tonight.
What you will see, one on one,
since they have so much in common,
it will be The Undertaker, one on one with The Rock.
[JR] The Undertaker and The Rock
one on one tonight and, King, The Undertaker and The Rock.
Seemingly they're staring holes through each other.
[Lawler] That's because they realize now that the road to the WWE title
well, goes through each of these guys, they're gonna have to get it on.
[JR] I can't wait for that. Uh-oh!
[Lawler] I can't wait for this either, JR!
["The Ho Train" playing]
[JR] The original American Badass, The Undertaker,
will take on The Rock here tonight live on Raw.
While Shane McMahon takes on Rikishi
in a King of the Ring qualifying match-up
[Lawler] Look at this! The Kat!
[bell dings]
[Lilian] The following is a mixed six-man tag-team contest
and it's scheduled for one fall.
Introducing first, the team of The Kat, Dean Malenko and The Godfather.
-[Lawler] Wait a minute, The Kat? -[JR] A six-person tag.
[Lawler] She's no ho, is she?
[JR] I would like to think not.
[Lawler] Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!
[JR] Godfather and Dean Malenko joined forces for the first time
last Thursday night on SmackDown!
-I'm trying to figure out… -They've been smiling ever since.
But I'm trying to wonder when The Kat joined forces
with The Godfather, they got these Canadian hos.
I think they're only about 70% of what they are in the States.
Let's blaze this thing up right!
What's up, Vancouver?
[crowd roars]
It's time once again for everybody to come aboard the…
[crowd] Ho train!
Are there any pimps up in this house?
[cheering]
[Lawler] Any pimps?
Bet you, all y'all know that the Godfather be pimping hos…
[crowd] Nationwide!
Yeah, don't hide it.
I want you to take it out and light it up for The Godfather
and say…
[crowd] Pimpin' ain't easy!
[JR] I guess Dean is a Malenk-ho now.
[Lawler laughs] A Malenk-ho! That's good.
["The Real Deal" playing]
[Lilian] Their opponents…
Introducing Terri, Perry Saturn and D-Lo Brown.
[Lawler] My God, it's that horny little she-devil, Terri.
[whoops]
[JR] D-Lo Brown's issues with The Godfather well documented,
as are the issues between Saturn and Malenko.
And we know that Terri and Kat have not seen eye to eye in some time.
[Lawler] What about those issues right there?
-She makes a lovely couple. -I know you're not worried about the eyes.
[Lawler] Look at The Kat! She's like a calico cat.
You never know what color her hair's gonna be. Oh, baby!
[JR] Don't forget in addition to The Rock and The Undertaker one on one,
Chris Benoit will defend the Intercontinental title
against Hardcore Holly
in what should be a phenomenal match-up.
Two King of the Ring qualifiers tonight.
Bull Buchanan versus Steve Blackman and Shane McMahon challenging Rikishi.
[Lawler] Shane is going to try to qualify to be the King of the Ring?
[JR] Your buddy Simba wants to be King of the Ring.
[Lawler] It takes a king to know a king. Shane, The Giant Killer.
[JR] So it's D-Lo Brown and Dean Malenko.
[Lawler] Malenk-ho. [laughs] That's good.
[JR] In a mixed six-person tag.
And Malenko…
stinging D-Lo Brown momentarily, catching D-Lo coming in…
Tell you what, Vince McMahon, a touch of genius.
If you got problems with The Rock and The Undertaker,
one way to solve them and not get your hands dirty
is to put The Rock and The Undertaker
in this very ring and let them beat the hell out of each other
here tonight.
[Lawler] Uh-oh, missed him.
There you go.
[JR] Well, D-Lo Brown's got an arrogant attitude these days.
He thinks he's been overlooked.
Blaming all of his, uh, problems regarding his push
on everybody else, he should look in the mirror every now and then.
[Lawler] I can't wait to hear what The Rock will say
about having to face The Undertaker later on tonight, it'll be great.
What a night, JR.
[JR] It makes clear that, at least in my view,
The Undertaker and The Rock are not…
Oh, my, sidewalk slam.
…are not best buddies, that's for sure.
They've got a common enemy. A common denominator.
That's the McMahon-Helmsley Regime and, quite frankly, the WWE title.
[Lawler] And, you know, JR, deep down, deep down The Rock really does blame
The Undertaker for that loss.
-You know he does. He's got to! -I don't know that.
I don't know that at all.
Godfather getting caught there.
On both sides of the fence, knocked down by D-Lo Brown.
We have yet to see The Kat and Terri be tagged in.
[Lawler] Come on, tag The Kat and Terri in!
I wanna see Terri… [laughs]
You know, I love it when cats like puppies.
That's the cutest thing.
Come on, get that horny little she-devil in there.
[JR] By the way, also got a European title tonight.
Eddie Guerrero takes on Kurt Angle, the European title on the line.
Tag team titles on the line tonight.
Edge and Christian meet Too Cool.
And there's the tag. Kat should be in there now.
This is not proper for Terri to take on The Godfather.
[Lawler] Look at that. She just slapped the taste out of The Godfather's mouth.
There she is, the horny little she-devil.
-[JR] That's what she is. -What's The Kat doing?
Look out! Oh!
[JR] She was pleased with herself. And a takedown by The Kat.
[Lawler] The bulldog from The Kat.
[JR] Kat and Terri got…
Terri making a tag.
[Lawler] And I think that's The Kat's natural hair color…
We're gonna find out what her natural hair color is.
[JR] Malenko on Saturn, two legal men.
[Lawler] Saturn was looking at The Kat in stereo.
Probably looks at everything in stereo.
[JR] Malenko quickening the pace here.
-[Lawler] Man! -Shot from behind by D-Lo Brown.
Here comes The Godfather, the four men are in the ring now.
And I think that Malenko and Saturn…
I believe are the legal two.
Inverted atomic drop by D-Lo Brown.
Malenko in trouble.
[Lawler] These people want puppies. Me too.
[JR] Godfather knocking D-Lo outside.
-[Lawler] But look at Saturn! -Saturn on top.
Saturn measuring Malenko…
Oh, my God, what an elbow!
-[Lawler] Wow. -To the heart of Malenko.
The leg is hooked.
-[Lawler] Get in there, Kat! -[bell dings]
[Lilian] Here are your winners…
Terri, Perry Saturn and D-Lo Brown!
[Lawler] Oh, my gosh!
Kat can't believe it.
[JR] I think Kat would love to get her hands on Terri.
[Lawler] Who wouldn't like to get their hands on Terri?
[JR] Somewhere down the road Kat and Terri gotta settle this.
[Lawler] That color would look good on you.
-You know what to do, right? -Got it.
-We've done this for a while, okay? -I know.
My God, it's him. Hey!
-Hey. We normally don't do this. -What's up, dude?
We're huge fans. Can we please get a picture with you?
We normally don't do this.
All right? Here we go.
You ready? One, two, three.
All right.
Mini Me. We so loved you in Austin Powers.
I mean, you didn't have many lines, but God, what a presence.
You were great.
You complete me, Mini Me.
You guys are dumb asses. I'm Joe C.
-Don't be bashful. -Ah, incognito.
…new Kid Rock album, The History of Rock.
-He's shy. -Don't be bashful. That's cool.
-It was huge in Europe. -You don't believe me?
-Overseas. -Good stuff.
-That's okay. He's just shy. -He's cool.
[Lawler] They think he's Mini Me. That's Joe C!
-Your pearly whites look great. -Look at your intercostals.
-They're really coming in. -The most photogenic tag team ever!
Hey, Kurt, check this out.
We've got a picture with Mini Me from Austin Powers.
Guys. There's no one that likes posing with midgets more than I do.
But I've got more important things on my mind, like European gold.
-Well, good luck, Kurt. -Good luck. Go get 'em, buddy.
Man. That is so cover material.
-Tiger Beat. Here we come. -Yeah.
♪ Mamacita ♪
[JR] I can't believe Edge and Christian, the tag champions, acting like jerks.
[Lawler] They don't know the difference between Joe C. and Mini Me?
[JR] That's what I'm saying.
Here come The European champion with Mamacita.
Gold on the line momentarily,
[Lawler] Latino Heat!
[Lilian] The following contest is scheduled for one fall,
and is for the World Wrestling Entertainment European Championship.
Making his way to the ring,
being accompanied by the Ninth Wonder of the World, Chyna,
from El Paso, Texas, weighing in at 205 pounds,
he is the World Wrestling Entertainment European champion.
-Eddie Guerrero! -[Lawler] I want to tell you something.
Just take a look at Chyna's face. I mean, there's a glow there.
It's nice, I'm telling you, this Latino Heat thing is blossoming.
Like those roses. I think this is true love.
[JR] They've got great chemistry,
Chyna and the European champion, who will defend the title
against the Olympic hero Kurt Angle momentarily,
on a night where The Rock and The Undertaker
will get it on right here tonight.
["Medal" playing]
[JR] Uh-oh!
[Lawler] Speaking of gettin' it on, JR!
You can tell they love Americans here in Canada.
Canada is lacking two things.
-[crowd booing] -It's true, don't make me say it again.
The first is Olympic heroes, and no, Ben Johnson does not count.
[JR] Certainly not Ben Johnson.
So it is my duty as an American hero to represent all of you as well
and become the North American Hero.
-[Lawler] Ben Johnson cheated, JR. -I know.
[crowd booing]
The second thing that Canada is lacking is Memorial Day,
which is today, by the way, and we in the States
celebrate our war heroes by having barbecues,
and I realize here in Canada, you can't have barbecues
because you'd probably be attacked by a moose or a caribou.
Or even a grizzly.
It's true. Hold on a second.
You'd probably be attacked by a grizzly as well.
On second thought, the Grizzlies don't beat
anybody here in Vancouver, let alone anywhere else.
-[crowd booing] -It's true, it's true.
So after I win the European Championship tonight,
I will not only be the North American Hero,
I will also represent the great countries of Europe as well.
Once again, your Olympic hero is going global.
[Lawler] Plus, you know what, JR?
There's no such thing as a Canadian war hero anyway.
[JR] I think Kurt Angle made that quite clear.
[bell dings]
Angle, the challenger for the European title,
again tag titles on the line tonight.
Edge and Christian challenged by Too Cool.
[Lawler] Does Canada even have an army?
[JR] Of course they do.
[Lawler] Our Salvation Army can kick their butts.
[JR] Collar-and-elbow tie-up.
Angle in behind Eddie Guerrero.
I'll tell you what, the evil genius Vince McMahon has struck again.
No better way to eliminate your enemies than to put them in a ring together.
That's what we're going to see tonight with the…
-[referee] Two. -[JR] Near fall. Wow.
[Lawler] This is going to be a great match!
[JR] An Angle powerslam and the leg is hooked.
Angle beating Guerrero to the offensive punch here.
[Lawler] You know what a fan I am of Kurt Angle, a great American Olympic hero.
But also I'm a fan of Latino Heat!
-[JR] Suplex by Guerrero -[Lawler] And Mamacita.
[JR] With his European title on the line, Guerrero…
…taking to the air.
A little bit of high-risk offense there by Eddie Guerrero.
Outstanding second generation star from El Paso, Texas.
[Lawler] Kurt's got to keep an eye on those fatal flowers
that Mamacita has there at ringside.
-We've seen them in action before. -No doubt about it.
And the lead pipe stuck down in those roses.
[Lawler] Oh, boy!
-What do you think… -[JR] Look out!
What a fireman carry. But Guerrero did land on his feet.
[Lawler] Oh! He landed on his head then!
[JR] A belly-to-belly overhead suplex by Kurt Angle.
A magnificent move by the Olympic gold medal winner.
-[Lawler] Here comes another one! -Here we go, German suplex.
There's the bridge, and then look, a near fall.
With the European title on the line, the champion in trouble.
[Lawler] Mamacita very concerned about her Latino Heat.
[JR] What must The Rock and The Undertaker be thinking at this very moment,
knowing that later here tonight, live here in Vancouver,
that they will step in the ring together.
[Lawler] And tear each other limb from limb.
There he goes with the… Brilliant!
And they gotta know the McMahon-Helmsley Faction is gonna love every minute of it.
[JR] End was almost upon us here,
but then Guerrero, able to get a couple of knee-lifts and a dropkick in.
I could almost feel that one coming.
[Lawler] Mamacita!
[JR] Angle with a baseball slide.
-[Lawler] He hit Mamacita! -He sure as heck did, Angle…
nailing Mamacita, was he aiming for her, or for the European champion?
[Lawler] No, he wasn't aiming for Mamacita.
-Kurt Angle's a gentleman! -Just asking a question here.
[Lawler] I'm answering.
Hey, hey, oh! Mamacita's hot!
Mamacita's hot!
[JR] Look at Mamacita.
She was towering over the referee
who just got wiped out from behind.
[Lawler] We got no ref!
[JR] Chyna checking the condition of the referee.
Oh! Look out! Look out!
-Angle just got his medals bronzed. -[Lawler] Right in his heroes!
[JR] Mamacita uppercut.
[Lawler] What's this?
[JR] Oh, my God! What a hurricanrana!
The low blow followed by the hurricanrana.
Angle's foot's underneath the bottom rope.
-But it's over. -["Latino Heat" playing]
[Lilian] Your winner and still the World and European champion,
Eddie Guerrero!
[JR] Chyna's absolutely radiant!
She's beaming.
[Lawler] Mamacita!
[JR] I've never seen her smile this much.
Angle's not smiling.
We need to go and see how bad Angle's hurt.
Okay? Check out his injury.
[Lawler] Look-it! I think I saw a kiss.
[JR] Eddie Guerrero with, I guess, an assist from Mamacita,
retains the European title.
[Lawler] Take a look at this, Mamacita from behind! Oh!
Like we said, the Olympic gold medals were just crushed!
And then a hurricanrana I've never seen the likes of.
I think Kurt's foot was under the top rope or the bottom rope.
Look at Mamacita.
[JR] Tag team titles on the line momentarily.
-Joe C. Joe. -Joe C.
No, man. Take it easy.
We just got clued in a few minutes ago. To make up for it,
we want to honor you with one of our world-renowned five-second poses.
What do you think?
But to be politically correct with our pose, we need to know.
-Are you like a midget or something? -No. No. You're a dwarf.
A dwarf? No, he's a gnome.
That's what he is.
-You're an Ewok. -Yes.
Man, you know what?
You guys. You know, I'm very honored,
but you know, you go out and you have your match.
After that, you guys can go [bleep] yourself.
-What? -[Lawler laughs]
[sings to himself]
[heavy clang]
Hello?
-[rattling] -Hello?
Are you locked in?
[rattling]
Are you locked… It ain't locked. Hey, who's in here?
Hello? Hello?
[yells]
-[banging] -[cries out]
No, no, no, no!
[JR] Good grief!
["You Think You Know Me" playing]
[JR] What happened? The Road Dogg just got assaulted.
But by who?
Somebody just laid a hurtin' the Road Dogg.
[Lilian] This bout is scheduled for one fall.
And it's for the WWE Tag Team Championship.
Making their way to the ring, from Toronto, Canada,
at a combined weight of 455 pounds,
they are the World Wrestling Entertainment tag team champions,
Edge and Christian!
[JR] Yes, they are from Toronto. We're live now on TSN.
Thanks for being with us, folks, wherever you may be in North America.
WWE's gonna be in Toronto on Sunday, June 4 at SkyDome.
[Lawler] Everybody in Toronto with the benefit of flash photography,
be sure to bring your cameras and get some shots
of your native sons Edge and Christian.
Greetings, fellow Canadians.
[cheering]
[Lawler] Fellow Canadians!
[JR] Kissing up to everybody.
Now, we realize British Columbia,
so not the brightest province in the country.
[crowd booing]
[Lawler] Not the brightest province?
Which is why we're gonna spell this out really clear for you.
You see, Joe C. is an overrated midget rapper.
[JR] Uh-oh.
So for the benefit of those with flash photography…
[Lawler] Here we go.
…we have a brand new pose for five seconds only
that will honor overrated midget rappers worldwide.
We call this kicking it Joe C. style.
[JR] Well, these guys are rapidly becoming jerks.
[Lawler] They're just hip.
[JR] How will they be received in Toronto on June 4?
[Lawler] They were trying to be PC, JR. Politically correct.
They didn't know whether to call JR or Jeff, Joe C. Look, look at these shoes!
[crowd reacts]
Look at this!
-[JR] Kind of effeminate shoes. -They got the wrong camera angle.
[Lawler] That was good.
[JR] Here come the challengers for tag team titles.
[Lilian] The challengers, at a combined weight of 436 pounds,
Scotty 2 Hotty,
Grandmaster Sexay, Too Cool.
[JR] We're trying to get word from the locker room area
as to what happened to The Road Dogg.
We know he was assaulted.
I don't know how badly he's injured.
But somebody really did a number on The Road Dogg momentarily.
[Lawler] He was yanked into that room.
Somebody beat the fire out of him, threw him back out against the wall.
Man!
Tonight, JR, Raw is War is brought to you by:
Reebok Black Top, and the only place you can get it is Footlocker.
[JR] And by Fram, who asks, "When was the last time you changed your filter?"
[Lawler] And by Burger King. "When you have it your way it just tastes better."
[JR] The WWE tag-team titles on the line here.
Still to come, The Undertaker versus The Rock
one on one, a match made by the McMahon-Helmsley Regime.
In addition to the Intercontinental Title match-up, Benoit versus Hardcore Holly.
Two King of the Ring qualifying matches tonight,
including Shane McMahon taking on Rikishi.
[Lawler] Shane The Giant Killer.
[JR] It's Christian and Grandmaster Sexay.
Great opportunity here for Too Cool.
Tell you what, as full of themselves as the tag team champions are,
one could assume that they might be ripe for the pickings here tonight.
[Lawler] Man, oh, man, watch those teeth!
[JR] Dislocating someone's jaw.
[Lawler] Forget the jaw, worry about those teeth.
[JR] Grandmaster with the missile dropkick from the second rope.
The next exchange with Scotty 2 Hotty, the Worm King.
[Lawler] What did Edge and Christian call Joe C.?
What, a midget, a dwarf?
An Ewok? A troll?
[JR] We should apologize for their…
Look at this. …insensitivities, I guess you could say.
[Lawler] Insensitivity? They're being politically correct.
[JR] How about a lack of class?
Don't promo it. You gotta do it.
[Lawler] He flipped his lid.
[JR] Nice suplex, nip up by Scotty 2 Hotty with tag team titles on the line.
[Lawler laughs] Moonwalking!
[JR] Scotty beating Edge to the punch but not Christian
who caught the spinning heel kick knocking down Scotty 2 Hotty.
[Lawler] There's a foot in your future there, Scotty.
-[JR] I'll tell you what. -Hey, look at this.
[JR] I wonder what kind of strategy The Undertaker…
There you go, there's the cover.
…who has been away from the WWE for so long,
Only been back a couple of weeks, has only been involved in one match.
Look at that.
Rough move into the inside cradle.
Scotty made that adjustment.
[Lawler] I'll tell you what strategy The Undertaker better have.
Better do exactly what he said he's gonna do.
He better think about nobody but himself.
He's got to go out there and do everything in his power to beat The Rock.
That will make him…
He wants a shot at the WWE title.
Look out!
[JR] Grandmaster over the top rope.
And the tag team champions have yet to get offensively untrapped here.
Elbow.
Beautiful sit-down power bomb by Grandmaster Sexay.
And both men, Grandmaster and Edge going over the top rope,
leaving Scotty 2 Hotty in there with Christian.
Oh, no! You know what time it is, don't you, King?
[Lawler] It's Worm time, Worm time!
[JR] Scotty's gonna get the Worm out and deliver.
W-O-R-M!
[Lawler] Here it comes!
[audience whooping]
[JR] On the outside,
Edge just sent the Grandmaster headfirst into the steps.
And now Edge has got the tag belt.
Edge got the tag title belt to the ring but didn't get to use it.
That would've been a disqualification right there.
[Lawler] Look at this!
[JR] Rikishi and Joe C.
Rikishi and Joe C. are coming to get a closer look, I guess.
[Lawler] What's the PC name for him?
He's got a hockey stick.
[JR] Joe C. and the…
[Lawler] What the…
[JR] He shoots, he scores!
[Lawler] The little midget, the dwarf…
[JR] The referee's with Rikishi.
-[Lawler] Wait a minute, ref! -Grandmaster used the tag belt!
Yes!
[bell dings]
[Lilian] Your winners
and New World Wrestling Entertainment tag team champions.
Too Cool!
[Lawler] I can't believe it!
["Turn it Up" playing]
[Lawler] Did you see that?
-[JR] Joe C. -That was low-sticking.
[JR] He came in with that hockey stick, and nailed Christian.
Joe C. disrespected by Edge and Christian
earlier tonight, and that's some pretty damn good retaliation.
[Lawler] Don't take any pictures. This is not the time
for those with the benefit of flash photography.
Too Cool.
The new WWE tag team champions,
And now it may be time to celebrate.
[Lawler] I can't believe this.
[JR] Rikishi later tonight against Shane McMahon
in the King of the Ring qualifying match-up.
[Lawler] Wait a minute, Shane for Joe C.?
Take a look at this again.
[JR] Rikishi had the referee distracted long enough for Joe C. to shoot and score.
[Lawler] Well, you know he is Joe C. He's three foot nine with a 10 foot…
-[JR] Easy! -Well, he's three foot nine.
-["Turn it Up" playing] -[crowd roaring]
[Lawler] Look at this!
[laughs]
[JR] The celebration
continues here as Too Cool have upset Edge and Christian.
[crowd roars]
[JR] Oh, my! Meanwhile in the WWE…
We've got new tag champions.
-And more on the way. -What else is going to happen?
[JR] We're back live in Vancouver, British Columbia.
Just moments ago, during the WWE Tag Team Title match-up,
Joe C. of Kid Rock. He came in and he shot. He did score.
And that took Christian entirely out of the game.
Enough for Too Cool.
[Lawler] Fortunately for Too Cool, that was behind the referee's back.
The little Ewok…
Well, Joe C. And then the celebration started.
New tag team champions!
[JR] Too Cool, Rikishi and Joe C. celebrating.
You know, we got new tag team champions.
-Big surprise, huh? -Yes, we do.
Dad, and I must say, it was pure…
[tape rewinding]
…new tag team champions.
-Big surprise, huh? -Yes, we do.
Dad, and I must say, it was pure…
It was ingenious of you to make that match
between The Rock and The Undertaker.
Let me tell you, they're going to be in
for yet another real big surprise, courtesy of Mr. McMahon here tonight.
-No question about that. -I can't wait. I can't wait.
-Hey. -[Stephanie screams]
[continues screaming]
-Dad! Dad! -[JR] What's happening?
Daddy!
Oh, my gosh! Daddy! What was that?
What was that?
Are you okay?
Oh, Dad, are you bleeding?
Oh.
-Oh, Dad. -Son of a bitch!
Who the hell was that?
I don't know. I didn't see. I didn't see, Daddy. Are you okay?
I'm all right. I'm all right.
[Stephanie whimpers]
[JR] What's going on here?
Well, what about this? What a way to kick off the King of the Ring tournament.
It's Rikishi and if he gets a chance, you know, that big backside
is going to go right in the face of Simba.
Shane McMahon and Rikishi .
What a way to kick off the King of the Rings tournament
and they will do it next.
[JR] We think we've got our satellite problems taken care of.
Moments ago with Mr. McMahon and Stephanie,
we had a little breakup there.
…that match between The Rock and The Undertaker tonight.
Well, let me tell you, they're gonna be in for yet another real big surprise
courtesy of Mr. McMahon here tonight.
-No question about that. -Oh, I can't wait.
-[JR] Second time tonight. -[Stephanie screams]
The Road Dogg dog earlier from the unknown assailant.
[Stephanie] Dad!
And Vince McMahon got it. Wait a minute. Come on.
[Lawler] I'm getting sick of this, JR. This is not an unknown assailant.
Look at this. That's either…
That's either… Anybody can see it.
It's either The Rock or The Undertaker doing this.
[JR] Could've been. You may be right.
-[Lawler] What you mean, "Could've been"? -You didn't see them.
King of the Ring kicks off here and now in a qualifying match-up.
Shane McMahon against Rikishi .
[Lawler] Look, he's Shane, the Giant Killer. Get it straight.
[Lilian] King of the Ring qualifying match and it's scheduled for one fall.
Introducing first, weighing in at 260 pounds,
Shane McMahon!
["No Chance in Hell" playing]
[JR] Subway presents King of the Ring.
Subway, the way a sandwich should be.
King of the Ring will be live Sunday June 25th,
from the sold out Fleet Center in Boston, Mass.
exclusively on pay-per-view.
Shane McMahon put out The Big Show, who's had surgery
to repair that damaged knee.
Oh, Rikishi,
I'm sure you've seen by now why I'm such an unbelievable thriller.
And, quite frankly, I don't blame you for being scared in the back.
Because who would want to face The Giant Killer?
[Lawler laughs] Right!
Now, I've defeated The Big Show.
One, two, three. Hell, even The Undertaker last Thursday night couldn't defeat me.
-[Lawler] That's true. -So tonight the journey begins.
For yours truly, the King of Sting.
But I will not be satisfied until June 25,
when Shane-O-Mac will be crowned King of the Ring.
[Lawler] Oh, man!
He would be a great king. It takes a king to know a king.
I'd like to put that crown right on his head myself.
[JR] I wish you would, and then kiss him on the lips.
[Lawler] What?
[Lilian] His opponent, weighing in at 423 pounds,
Rikishi!
[Lawler] Kiss him on the lips? Are you sick?
[JR] No, you are. Butt kisser.
This is a qualifying match for the King of the Ring tournament.
Rikishi to take on Shane McMahon.
I'll tell you, Shane McMahon is an amazing, amazing athlete
for someone that does not compete full time.
He's absolutely extraordinary.
Well, Rikishi at 400, King, 424 pounds, with a load of experience.
I got a feeling Shane McMahon may get that sticky…
[Lawler] No. Shut up.
That's not the only load that Rikishi has.
[bell dings]
-Experience and that load… Look! -Shane McMahon…
[Lawler] Shane The Giant Killer, he's all over him.
[JR] Attacking Rikishi.
And Rikishi shoving Shane down,
and catches Shane McMahon with that clothesline .
What would it be like around here if Shane McMahon were the King of the Ring?
[Lawler] What do you mean, "What'd it be"? It'd be great!
[crowd chanting] Shane's a wussy!
[JR] Wait a minute, Shane's…
[Lawler] Don't encourage this talk.
[JR] I ain't saying "wussy."
[Lawler] Shane already told these idiots himself
that he looked that up in the dictionary, and it means "catlike."
[JR] Rikishi, that foot in the mid-section.
Wait a minute. Look at this.
This is the WWE champion and Shane McMahon's brother-in-law, Triple H.
[JR] Man, everybody wants to see this King of the Ring qualifying match.
Rikishi… Oh, my God. What elevation.
And Triple H is up on the apron.
I don't think Rikishi has got a peaceful easy feeling about this.
[Lawler] Watch it!
[JR] Shane, a low blow.
The referee did not detect that as he was looking at Triple H.
[Lawler] I didn't see it.
[JR] That was official… Now Shane with those stinging jabs.
[Lawler] These could be the fastest hands in the business.
Float like a butterfly, sting like a Shane Giant Killer, right?
Look at this!
[JR] Shane's caught him. Right hand by Shane.
I don't think he can believe it. I think he shocked himself
with a right hand that took down Rikishi.
[Lawler] Look at the footwork! My gosh! Look at Shane!
Give him another big one. Uh-oh. Blocked.
[JR] Rikishi blocked the right hand, comes back with right hands of his own.
Shane McMahon in big trouble. There's the knockdown.
[Lawler] He's not in big trouble, JR. Come on. Don't be negative.
[JR] He looks to be in big trouble to me.
Enough trouble for his brother-in-law to stick his ample nose in it.
[Lawler] Now he's in big trouble.
Now Shane's in real big trouble!
[JR] It's time for a Stink Face.
On Shane-O-Mac.
[Lawler] Look at this thing.
Can you imagine what that smells like?
[JR] Triple H just got in the ring. I guess…
I'd say that's interference in my book.
[Lawler] He's the WWE champion, he can go anywhere he wants to.
Uh-oh. He didn't want to go there.
[JR] He buried those buns in the mid-section of Triple H.
[Lawler] Wait a minute. This looks real bad.
Can we get a double Stink Face?
Don't stick that nose up in there, Rikishi.
[JR] Triple H is going to get it here.
-Oh! -[bell dings]
Shane McMahon just dented that chair on the head of Rikishi!
[Lawler] Did you see that? Look at that!
[JR] One more time.
The referee called for the bell.
-[Lawler] Cover him, Shane. -That chair has been dented.
On Rikishi's skull.
[Lawler] Now Triple H is gonna get him some.
[JR] Triple H with a Pedigree!
The WWE champion just thrilled Rikishi
with a Pedigree on a steel chair.
[referee] One, two, three.
-[Lawler] Yes! -How arrogant.
[Lawler] The Giant Killer has struck again!
-[JR] The referee has stopped this match. -What?
[Lilian] Winner by disqualification, Rikishi!
[Lawler] Wait a minute, Shane The Giant Killer…
What happened?
[JR] Referee made a right call. Shane nailed Rikishi with a steel chair.
I'm not so sure that the referee shouldn't have disqualified Triple H
for interference.
-[Lawler] But Shane advances, right? -Absolutely not.
-[Lawler] What? -Rikishi advances.
Shane-O-Mac is not gonna be in the King of the Ring tournament.
-He has not qualified. -That all right…
Shane and Triple H may have… Uh-oh.
The McMahon-Helmsley Regime is nothing but fair.
And last night I gave you guys an opportunity.
The opportunity to take out Chris Jericho.
And you failed.
Now, granted, The Hardys ran in and you weren't expecting that.
So tonight I'm gonna give you the opportunity to redeem yourself.
Now, Trish, I know you've had your eye on Val for a little while.
And I know Val would have no problem
ripping apart that uneducated, low class,
bleached blond bum, Chris Jericho.
So tonight, in a six-man match-up,
it's going to be T&A and Val versus The Hardys and Y2J.
And tonight, you boys better get it right.
Because this is your last opportunity to redeem yourself.
-[door slams] -Bitch!
[Lawler] Bitch? Oh, man!
[JR] We're back live in Vancouver on Raw.
Just moments ago, the King of the Ring tournament got started
and Shane McMahon got disqualified in his match with Rikishi
for that vile chair shot in the skull.
And one more time, taking down Rikishi .
But King, it wasn't over from there.
[Lawler] You got that right. Triple H wanted to get him a little bit.
And, you know, I think this may actually have been retribution
or retaliation for the fact that Rikishi
almost gave Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley a Stink Face.
Look at that!
[JR] The champion's Pedigree on that on that steel chair.
Then watch the arrogance. Watch the attitude.
-[Lawler] What do you mean? -Count him!
What's wrong with that?
He's Shane The Giant Killer.
-[crowd roars] -["Break the Walls Down" playing]
[JR] Here comes Y2J.
Chris Jericho.
Chris Jericho and Hardys in six-man tag action.
But last night on Heat, it was Jericho in a Handicap Match…
against T&A.
Stephanie McMahon made the match to punish Jericho
for all the things that Jericho said about Stephanie
but no one counted on the involvement of the Hardys.
[Lawler] That's right, the Hardys showed up and spoiled Stephanie's party.
Look at the flying moonsault there.
Look at Stephanie. She couldn't believe it.
All her great plans gone astray.
[JR] So Jericho upset T&A with the help of the Hardys.
And now Stephanie has made the six-man tag match tonight.
Welcome to Raw is Jericho!
[Lawler] Why do they love this guy so much in Canada?
Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley.
You seem to have devoted a lot of your time and a lot of your energy
towards me over the last little while.
Is it possible, Stephie, that maybe you have a crush on Y2J?
[Lawler] Give me a break!
-[JR] Is that possible? -Absolutely impossible.
She's not a jerkaholic.
Well, Stephie, maybe if you comb out that rat's nest of a hairstyle of yours…
[Lawler] Rat's nest?
…and buy a couple of boxes of Clearasil,
[Lawler] What? Her complexion's like milk.
And stop being a filthy, dirty, disgusting,
brutal, skanky, bottom-feeding trash bag ho…
-[Lawler] Oh, my God! You idiot. -[crowd cheering]
Maybe then you'll have a shot with the Ayatollah of rock and rolla.
[JR] For some reason, I don't think Jericho is gonna get a Christmas bonus.
[Lawler] Got that right. He's going to get a bonus, it's coming up right now.
Oh, no, the Hardys.
-They're going to get theirs too. -[bell dings]
[Lilian] The following is a six-man tag team contest
and it's scheduled for one fall.
Making their way to the ring.
The partners from North Carolina.
At a combined weight of 430 pounds,
Matt and Jeff, The Hardy Boyz!
[JR] So six-man tag action here and still to come,
The Undertaker and The Rock, one on one here tonight.
There can be no bigger match-up,
without the WWE title on the line than The Undertaker and The Rock.
Gonna see it live tonight.
[Lilian] Being accompanied by Trish Stratus.
At a combined weight of 836 pounds,
Val Venis and T&A!
[Lawler] The McMahons really know how to make matches.
Stephanie made a great one.
And Vince has made a great one in The Rock versus The Undertaker.
Did you ever dream that you would see that match, JR?
[JR] I certainly didn't think about that until I came to work today.
And Trish Stratus has got her little attitude as well.
This has got to be an emotional night for that guy right there, Ted.
[Lawler] Why?
[JR] He was at one time engaged to marry Stephanie, was played the fool,
and now he's got almost forced into doing her bidding.
[Lawler] I don't think he was actually played the fool.
[JR] Val Venis and Chris Jericho in the six-man tag team match-up.
You got to believe that Mr. McMahon has got to…
if he gets back to his senses from that assault earlier,
need another ear-to-ear grin on his face, because of the match he's booked
with The Rock and The Undertaker.
What better way to let those two guys just beat the holy hell out of each other?
Take down by Jericho.
Taking Val Venis face first to the canvas.
Come on, Val.
Hard knife-edge chop.
Val Venis trying to create some distance between himself and Jericho.
Big ol' Albert.
He's got to be 6'7" atleast.
Spinebuster buster by Val.
[Lawler] Get him for calling Stephanie a bottom-feeding ho.
Can you believe that
Y2J would have the audacity to say something like that?
Look at Stephanie.
[JR] Stephanie got a bird's eye view of this one, watching this match-up.
To see if this match she has orchestrated
comes out the way she wants it.
[JR] And her complexion, as smooth as silk.
How dare Y2J suggest Clearasil for her?
[JR] The power of Albert.
6'7", maybe 6'8".
-[yells] -Around 350 pounds.
And he's a powerhouse, is this young man.
He of the eight-and-three-eighths head.
Hardys have yet to see any action here.
[Lawler] When do you have time to measure people's heads?
[JR] And Test there on T&A,
Looks like Heat will steal the advantage and eliminate…
Oh, my gosh!
[Lawler] Yes! That was a lovely, wasn't it, Stephanie?
She's got to be loving this.
That's the same look Vince is gonna have on his face tonight
when The Rock tears The Undertaker apart or vice versa.
[JR] There's a cover. Leg hooked here.
And Jericho able to kick out.
Jericho would be well served to make a tag.
And Test…
He certainly doesn't seem to be reluctant
in helping Stephanie with her cause of eliminating Jericho.
Who needs to make a tag. Jericho, nearest corner.
-[Lawler] Look out. -He makes the tag to Matt Hardy.
[Lawler] What a coward that Jericho is.
[JR] And Matt Hardy…
-Man! -With a DDT on Albert!
And now Jeff comes in.
[Lawler] Could've cracked that eight and three-eighths inch skull.
[JR] The Hardys with teamwork!
Taking down Test.
And there's a cover.
[Lawler] Test, you better not let Stephanie down.
[JR] Val Venis stopped the count before it hit three.
[Lawler] Good job, Val.
[JR] Six of these guys turning it on here.
Oh, Jericho, he may have fell short of what he was looking for.
The springboard into the cross-body.
Oh, man!
[JR] Albert almost beheaded Matt Hardy there.
It's Test and Matt.
[Lawler] Look at this. This could be bad.
[JR] Oh, my!
-[Lawler] Twist of Fate! -Twist of Fate! is it!
And Trish…
Jeff Hardy was going to come up, it looked like, for a Swanton.
[Lawler] Wait a minute.
[JR] And Trish took her boot off!
And look out!
Man, what an impact that was.
Albert's not the legal man.
-Come on. Wait a minute! -Look at this!
-[bell dings] -They did it!
Stephanie, they did it!
[Lilian] Here are your winners: Val, Venis and T&A!
[JR] Well, Trish Stratus…
got more involved than she had a right to be.
Taking off that boot, striking Jeff Hardy
when it looked like Jeff was gonna hit the Swanton.
[Lawler] A smile on the face of Trish
and I bet there's a bigger smile on the face of Stephanie.
[laughs]
[JR] It may take more than that to shut Jericho's mouth.
Haven't heard the last of this situation. Michael Cole. Take it away.
I'm joined now by The Rock, The People's Champ.
And, Rock, first things first. I mean, how do you feel about the fact
that Mr. McMahon and The Road Dogg were attacked
backstage a little earlier on tonight?
Yeah, The Rock really hates when that happens.
Well, Rock, nonetheless,
you go one on one with The Undertaker here tonight,
and part of you has got to be a little bit happy about this.
Part of you can't wait to get your hands on The Undertaker
after The Undertaker did indeed cost you the WWE title at Judgment Day.
Make no mistake about it, Michael Cole.
The Rock is looking forward
to The Undertaker tonight, but it's not for that reason.
The main reason The Rock is looking forward to The Undertaker,
The Rock said it before and he'll say it again.
The Rock will do all he can
to one day once again become WWE champion.
If you smell what The Rock is cooking.
[Lawler] Man, short and sweet.
[man] And now the WWE's Slam of the Week, brought to you by Snickers.
Hungry? Grab a Snickers.
[JR] Nobody Home, Chris Jericho, a Lionsault!
Taking Holly over.
[Lawler] Taking Hardcore!
Hardcore Holly off the top rope and Hardcore Holly with the cover.
[JR] And it's over!
Hardcore Holly picks up the win.
[Lawler] Hardcore Holly going after the Intercontinental title.
[JR] Hardcore Holly to challenge Chris Benoit momentarily
for the Intercontinental title.
Holly earned the right to meet The Wolverine here tonight,
and this one could be physically intense.
[Lilian] The following contest, scheduled for one fall.
It's for the World Wrestling Entertainment Intercontinental Championship.
Making his way to the ring,
weighing in at allegedly over 400 pounds,
Hardcore Holly!
[Lawler] 428 pounds, I think he told me.
[JR] Please! That's ridiculous.
Benoit.
It could have been so easy.
This whole thing could have been settled if you'd have just gave me a title shot.
But, no.
You had to do it the hard way, didn't you?
You gave one to Kurt Angle.
You gave one to Val Venis.
And God knows how many you gave to Chris Jericho.
-[Lawler] Right! -[JR] He gave 'em?
But I can understand why you didn't give me one.
And that's because you're scared.
Benoit, that's not a bad thing.
There's no shame in being scared of Hardcore Holly.
But you see, Benoit,
you are a typical Canadian.
-[Lawler] Another Canadian? -[crowd booing]
He's from Edmonton, is Benoit.
You are a coward.
[JR] Uh-oh! Man!
I don't think so.
[Lawler] Coward and dumb, I think he's trying to say.
And it's gonna be my pleasure to kick your ass
in this worthless country of yours,
and you're finally gonna get what you deserve.
[crowd booing]
[JR] Wow, Hardcore Holly not…
And as for myself, I'm finally gonna get what belongs to me.
[Lawler] The Intercontinental Championship.
[JR] We've got a sellout crowd here tonight in Vancouver, British Columbia,
The arena sold out in 25 minutes.
[Lilian] His opponent, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada,
weighing in at 229 pounds,
he is the World Wrestling Entertainment Intercontinental champion,
Chris Benoit!
[Lawler] She cut you right off, JR.
That's the longest damn ring announcement I've ever heard.
Get out of the ring, Lillian.
[Benoit] Listen to you run your mouth off tonight.
Bragging about what you're gonna do and how you're gonna do it.
[Lawler] Now he cut you off.
And you think that makes you a better man?
You interfere in my matches, you hit me with a chair,
you insult me and my country.
[crowd cheers]
[Lawler] What's that about?
And you think that will help you find Intercontinental gold.
Bob, if you're trying to get my attention, good news.
You got it.
[Lawler] Bob? Who's Bob?
Now that you've got your big break,
you'll be able to tell the whole world just how it feels,
making your biggest mistake.
[JR] Uh-oh. And Benoit,
Hardcore Holly not gonna waste any time getting into each other's face.
Listen to this.
-[Lawler] Wow! -Look at that. Feel the smack.
The impact of those right hands by Benoit to the face of Hardcore Holly.
Intercontinental title holder.
What a nice chest chop that was.
Those people are actually saying the US sucks.
[JR] Thanks to Hardcore Holly.
[Lawler] Oh, my gosh!
[JR] Both went over the top.
[Lawler] They're fighters, JR.
[JR] Forearm shot to the face.
And Hardcore Holly retaliating.
[Lawler] Look like you're ready to run. Don't run.
-Get back in the ring, there! -[JR] I'm not gonna run.
You ain't protected anything in your life.
You can fix…
Face first went Hardcore Holly into the ring post.
And this… these fans ready for this match-up.
As I was going to say earlier, this arena sold out in 25 minutes.
And tickets go on sale this Saturday in Kansas City,
and in Greenville, South Carolina.
Crippler Crossface.
He had the ropes.
[Lawler] How many Canadians we got in here, about?
-[JR] About 17,000 and change. -[Lawler whoops]
[JR] Fans in Kansas City and Greenville, get your tickets.
They go on sale this Saturday.
A nice spear by Hardcore Holly taking down Benoit.
[Lawler] You know, you just saw Hardcore Holly survive that…
that Crippler Crossface.
That's the same Crippler Crossface. that made Jericho submit.
[JR] Let's qualify that.
Yes, it made Jericho pass out from the pain.
But Benoit did not have the Crippler Crossface locked in.
There's the cover from the suplex.
[Lawler] What do you mean, didn't have it locked in from the suplex?
[JR] That's not what I said. You don't pay a damn bit of attention.
-You're in your own world over there. -You're feisty tonight!
You like it here in Canada, don't you?
[JR] I don't mind it.
There's Benoit.
Holly ain't gonna like this, in Vancouver or anywhere else.
[Lawler] That's the best you can say about this country? "I don't mind it"?
[JR] There's the cover! One, two and a near fall.
[Lawler] I talked to Hardcore earlier, he said,
"You know, Christopher Columbus discovered America, United States.
"But you know who discovered Canada?"
-No, who, King? -The Roto-Rooter man!
That's what Hardcore told me. That was a good one, wasn't it?
[JR] Oh, man!
Listen to that smack on the flesh of Hardcore Holly.
Who came back with a thumb to the eye.
[Lawler] Oh, man!
[yelling]
This is what we're going to hear when The Rock
goes one on one with The Undertaker.
[JR] Will The Rock lay the smackdown on The Undertaker?
Will the American Badass chokeslam The Rock all the way to hell?
We'll find out here tonight.
The Intercontinental Champion.
Hellacious Irish whip by Hardcore Holly.
Powerslam! This could be all!
Look out. A near fall.
[Lawler] How embarrassing this will be for their native son,
for all these Canadians to see Benoit get beat by Hardcore here in Canada?
-They've been embarrassed before. -[Lawler laughs]
-That was a good one. -Yeah.
[Lawler] Oh, man!
[JR] That's got to be it right there.
And it's not. I'm wrong again, as usual.
[Lawler] As usual?
Look, he's heckling the referee.
[JR] Holly thought he had what he was looking for there.
And another nice suplex.
Man, was Benoit folded up on that one.
-[Lawler] Right on the back of his head. -And there's a cover.
Out on two. Holly getting very frustrated.
[Lawler] The only way you can not hurt a Canadian, landing on his head.
[JR] The pressure of becoming Intercontinental champion
may be getting to Holly here.
[Lawler] Oh, no. Going for the backslide.
[JR] A low blow. The referee in perfect position not to see
Hardcore Holly's low blow.
[Lawler] How convenient.
[JR] This doesn't make any sense at all.
Holly's gonna get himself disqualified if he goes in using that steel chair.
[Lawler] It makes sense if you really would rather take Benoit's head off.
-[JR] Look, this is Jericho! -What is this?
[JR] Jericho.
[Lawler] It's the "you scratch my back I'll scratch yours" buddy system.
-[JR] Oh, man! -This Canadian!
[bell dings]
[JR] Jericho has felt the chair from Hardcore Holly.
And now Jericho has just retaliated.
[Lawler] I blame Canada.
[JR] I don't think Benoit appreciates that at all.
What do you think you're doing?
[Lawler] Oh, look now. Missed him!
[JR] Hardcore going for the head of whomever was there.
And now it's Benoit!
Benoit nails Holly with a chair.
Here comes the Intercontinental Champion.
Hardcore Holly's gotta regroup.
[Lawler] The Canadians are coming! The Canadians are coming!
-[JR] This is chaotic here! -Look out, look out!
Earlier on, we heard from The Rock.
Undertaker, I wanted to get your thoughts about what's happened here tonight
backstage to both Mr. McMahon and The Road Dogg.
I tell you, Kevin, I'm no expert,
but it looks like the McMahon- Helmsley faction
has done pissed somebody off.
I know that your thoughts
have also got to be focused on your one-on-one match-up
against The Rock here tonight.
Well, of course.
I got no beef with The Rock.
Hell, I kind of dig his stuff.
But you know, it's all about the World Wrestling Entertainment title.
He wants it. I want it.
So a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
[JR] Tonight they get it on!
We're back live in the Great Northwest, Vancouver, British Columbia.
The General Motors Place is sold out here, King.
And tonight it could be a slobberknocker.
The Undertaker and The Rock gonna get it on one on one.
[Lawler] Everything's backwards here.
It's night time and it's still daylight in Vancouver.
-Did you see who it was? -No.
Somebody got to me.
And where the hell were you?
Mr. McMahon, I was out getting coffee.
It's always something, Brisco.
Patterson's supposed to be getting me coffee now.
I didn't even see them.
So is it good enough?
Let me ask you. Is it good enough that The Undertaker and Rock
beat the hell out of each other tonight?
-No, it's not. -No.
-I don't think so. -Let's one-up them.
Then let's put the icing on the cake.
-Tonight. -[Triple H] What should we do?
-[JR] What are they gonna do? -The wheels are turning, JR.
He's a genius. He's got that mental acumen.
-Vince'll think of something. -[bell dings]
[Lilian] Making his way to the ring.
Being accompanied by The Big Boss Man.
Weighing in at 326 pounds, Bull Buchanan!
[JR] Could be the wheels are turning
in the McMahon-Helmsley locker room area.
Isn't it enough that The Undertaker and The Rock
are gonna beat the hell out of each other?
[Lawler] No, obviously not,
because either The Undertaker or The Rock
have already beat the hell out of Vince and they beat the hell out of--
-[JR] You don't know that. -What do you mean?
[JR] You didn't see that.
[Lawler] Who else would want to do that?
[Lilian] Weighing in at 245 pounds,
The Lethal Weapon, Steve Blackman!
[JR] Mr. McMahon, by the way, has a lot of enemies in this business,
if you haven't noticed, So does The Road Dogg, for that matter.
[Lawler] I don't see how you can say that.
-Mr. McMahon is… -Here we go.
-He's like the perfect boss, JR. -[bell dings]
[JR] Bull Buchanan and Blackman.
Another qualifying match for the King of the Ring tournament.
A 32-man single elimination tournament.
It started here tonight
with Shane McMahon's disqualification loss.
And Rikishi will advance into the King of the Ring tournament.
[Lawler] I don't know how you could say Vince McMahon has a lot of enemies.
[JR] Also at ringside in support of his partner, Steve Blackman,
as the Boss Man is The Bull.
Nice dropkick by Blackman,
the martial arts expert, The Lethal Weapon going for a cover here,
[Lawler] We ought to be able to find out.
Doesn't Vince still offer bonuses to employees who rat on each other?
[JR] I don't know about that.
-[Lawler] Used to. -How much money did you make off that?
[Lawler] He's the perfect boss.
Remember when office supplies started disappearing at Titan Towers?
It was Vince that instituted the strip searches.
[JR] You mean those missing computers?
[Lawler] I tell you. He'll come up with something great.
[JR] I shudder to think what that could be.
The Rock and The Undertaker is a huge match-up,
and we're happy we got it tonight.
And there's the elbow and a cover.
Blackman able to kick out.
[Lawler] We also got Kid Rock and Joe C. live here tonight.
[JR] Big month of June, King, this Saturday night
in Milwaukee, next Tuesday in Buffalo, New York,
not to mention coming soon to Las Cruces, New Mexico.
Albuquerque, New Mexico, and the Show Me State of Missouri
in Columbia on Sunday, June 11.
You had to believe that cheap kick was coming.
Boss Man has very little ethics.
And Bull, I think, has even less.
[Lawler] They can hear you.
[JR] Just speak the truth.
[Lawler] Come over here
and treat you like you violated parole in a minute.
[JR] Trying to get him, feet and hands.
But this Bull Buchanan is so damn big.
[referee] Bull, let him go.
[JR] Said he's about three and a quarter here today.
He's all muscle.
[Lawler] What size is his head?
[JR] I don't know. Didn't get into that.
You think it's funny that I prepare for a broadcast?
-[Lawler] I just can't imagine… -What'd you do, go to the mall?
[Lawler] Eight and three eighths inches head, who cares?
-[JR] Call yourself a king. -That's what I'm saying. Who cares?
[JR] Look at this. Nice shot.
Blackman taking out Bull Buchanan.
Thing is, if Blackman has taken Bull down,
he just can't keep the big man there.
Gotta be kind of discouraging, keep knocking the guy down he gets back up.
[Lawler] Speaking of heads, what do you think is going through Vince's?
-What do you think he's thinking? -[JR] Something evil.
Something sinister, something to make The Rock
and Undertaker's life a living hell.
[Lawler] Why are you so negative? What has Vince done to you?
[JR] Fired me twice. Anything else you want to go into?
[Lawler] Remember when he invested everyone's pension plans at the racetrack?
[JR] He what?
Look out, that may be all right there.
A scissors kick and that's it. Wow.
-Bull Buchanan just… -[Lawler] Look at that!
The Boss Man in, using that night stick on Al Snow.
[Lawler] Al, you should have stayed out.
[JR] Boss Man, using that weapon on Snow and Blackman.
-[Lawler] The match is officially over. -The match is over.
And the referee…
[Lawler] That rib always breaks.
You like what you see?
[JR] Wait a minute! Blackman…
[Lawler] He's got the night stick!
[JR] Blackman just unarmed the Boss Man!
And then Blackman took the Boss Man's weapon from him
and used it on the Boss Man and Bull.
[Lawler] Don't ever let Blackman get something like that in his hands.
[JR] If you want to play with weapons, Blackman and Snow can do that.
[man] Hey, Pat, welcome back. Mr. Brisco, huh?
He won the hardcore title. That's pretty cool.
He was lucky. Now I gotta bring Mr. McMahon and Brisco some coffee.
[JR] Boy, you talk about a butt kisser.
-Yeah, this is too much. -[Lawler] Pat Patterson?
[yells, screams]
-[Lawler] What's this? -What the hell…
[banging on door]
It's The Rock or The Undertaker!
You know, some people say it's tough being The Big Show,
but I got to tell you, it has its advantages.
Playing with the neighborhood kids is always fun.
And hailing a cab is no sweat.
The thing I like best about being so big
is I always have room for my favorite meal.
Chef Boyardee, overstuffed Italian sausage ravioli.
It's the only meal large enough to satisfy my oversized hunger.
[man] And now the WWE Rewind,
brought to you by the Lorillard Tobacco Company's
Youth Smoking Prevention Program.
[JR] What's this?
Wait a minute! The Undertaker!
The Undertaker making a beeline for Mr. McMahon!
[Lawler] Tried to run Vince over!
[JR] King, The Undertaker hell bent on getting his hands
on the McMahon-Helmsley Faction.
-Why do you want to cost us the belts? -Let me go!
[JR] Come on.
-Do you realize? -[Lawler] Wait a minute.
-Come on. Come on. -[JR] Leave him alone.
Want to mess with us? I don't think so.
[Lawler] They got Joe C!
Come on, open it in there.
Come on, get in!
[JR] Come on!
[Lawler] He just performed! What are you guys doing?
-…about to find out. -[banging]
Grab a chair, Christian. Grab a chair. Hit it.
You like cheap shots?
-[JR] Come on! -How's that feel? You like cheap shots?
[JR] Somebody go help little Joe.
-[Lawler] What are they doing? -[JR] Don't do that.
Good God Almighty!
I can't wait for the new album.
[JR] What the hell is… That's sick.
Edge and Christian are sick. Get that kid some help.
["You've Done It Now" playing]
♪ You've gone and made a big mistake ♪
[JR] Tell you what, King.
This could be ended here tonight on Raw.
The match was made by the McMahon-Helmsley Regime.
Specifically by Mr. McMahon earlier tonight,
between The Undertaker and The Rock.
-[crowd cheering] -[Lawler] There he is.
[JR] When we last saw The Regime,
they were thinking of ways The Undertaker and The Rock's
life even more miserable.
♪ Nice guys ♪
That is one son of a bitch badass.
♪ 'Cause badasses ♪
♪ Always kicking ass… ♪
[Lilian] The following contest is scheduled for one fall.
Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 328 pounds,
The Undertaker!
[JR] There's no lasting friendship
whatsoever between the Undertaker and The Rock.
The common denominator is they both despise the McMahon-Helmsley Regime.
Perhaps more importantly, both The Undertaker and The Rock
want the WWE title.
[Lawler] They both hate the McMahons but would both love to be
the WWE champion.
[JR] The Regime has not had too many successes since Judgment Day.
In part thanks to The Undertaker.
["Electrifying" playing]
[JR] And in part thanks to The Rock.
[Lilian] From Miami, Florida, weighing in at 275 pounds,
The Rock!
[JR] It was bound to happen sooner than later.
When The Rock and The Undertaker would fight to see who would be
the number-one contender, for the WWE title.
[Lawler] But it's happened sooner than later.
It's happening right now!
[crowd cheering]
Thanks to the brilliant Mr. McMahon.
[JR] The Rock is smelling what the fans are cooking here.
Up at General Motors Place, over 17,000 strong
here in Vancouver, British Columbia.
And The Undertaker waiting stoically.
But how patiently is the Badass?
[Lawler] Mr. McMahon's gonna enjoy this.
[JR] And what a main event.
And we're live here on Raw.
The Undertaker and The Rock ready to…
["No Chance in Hell" playing]
[Lawler] I told you he was up to something, JR.
[JR] I don't like that walk.
[Lawler] Why not? That's a swagger.
[JR] That's not a walk. He thinks he's John damn Wayne.
[Lawler] He was attacked earlier by one of these…
-[JR] You don't know that. -Who do you think did it?
All right.
Before you two beat the hell out of each other,
which, quite frankly, I'm going to enjoy…
[crowd chanting] Asshole! Asshole!
[Lawler] Shut up!
[crowd chanting] Asshole! Asshole!
Don't get upset, Mr. McMahon. Stay calm.
Don't get upset, Mr. McMahon.
Before you two beat the hell out of each other,
I want to know one thing.
Which one of you was the gutless one that attacked Road Dogg, Patterson
and me from behind and ran like a thief?
Which one of you is gutless?
It was you, wasn't it, Rock?
It was you.
[Lawler] See? I think it was The Rock.
Wasn't The Rock.
[JR] Wait a minute.
[Lawler] He said it was The Undertaker.
[Mr. McMahon] Then it was you, Undertaker.
You weren't man enough to come one on one.
You had to attack from behind, huh?
-[JR] Please! -[Lawler] In the dark?
-What? -[JR] Undertaker said, "It wasn't me."
[crowd chanting]
Oh. So wait a minute.
Rock denies it, and you deny it.
So one lies and the other one swears to it.
Huh!
Okay, just for that,
I'm gonna fix both of your asses.
Now, then.
Since you won't fess up, you don't have the guts to fess up,
now, then, this match will be a Lumberjack Match.
[Lawler] Lumberjack?
-[JR] Oh, boy! Come on. -[Lawler] What?
They should have fessed up.
[JR] Lumberjack, and I guess, by the looks of things,
Lumberjill.
-[Lawler] What do you mean? -Well, this is gonna be fair.
Objective lumberjacks.
That's what we like here in the WWE. Objectivity.
[Lawler] We gotta have somebody that doesn't mind getting their hands dirty
and doesn't mind throwing these guys, The Rock and The Undertaker
back in the ring if they get out.
DX and Torrie, of course, led by The Game
and his wife Stephanie.
Looks like T&A and that little witch Trish.
[Lawler] Hey, there's Boss Man and Bull.
[JR] And of course, Shane, Vince, the hardcore champion…
-[Lawler] Shane the Giant Killer? -Gerald Brisco.
And that massive corporate butt-kisser, Patterson.
[Lawler] Is he okay? He had that hot coffee spilled all over him.
[JR] Maybe he needs mouth to mouth. You can go help him.
I can't believe this.
We've got a ring surrounded by, like, vultures.
[Lawler] Yeah, and look who's right over here by me.
Stephanie and Torrie and Trish. They know I'll protect them.
-[JR] Yeah, right. -If anything bad happens, I have them.
You may have to handle this on your own, I'll jump up here.
[JR] Vince is imploring that The Rock
and The Undertaker start hammering each other.
Let's get it on, you two.
Referee Tim White has just called for the bell, and here we go.
It's like vultures surrounding the ring.
Regime henchmen.
McMahon-Helmsley Regime members.
The Rock and The Undertaker can't win.
They're doomed here.
[Lawler] What's the matter? One scared and the other glad of it?
-[JR] I don't think so. -[man] Come on, you pussies!
[Lawler] Jump on each other!
Here we go.
What is this?
[JR] The Rock and The Undertaker!
-[Lawler] What the heck? -The Rock and The Undertaker!
Good God Almighty!
-The Rock has… -[Lawler] In the ring.
-Not out here. -[JR] And The Undertaker on The Boss Man.
The Rock now with the champion.
[Lawler] No! No way!
The Rock has dealt with The Game!
And The Undertaker now with Patterson.
[Lawler] What kind of… Isn't that what…
[JR] Oh, my God! The Undertaker, The Boss Man goes for the ride!
[Lawler] Vince, Shane, do something.
[JR] The Regime thought they had a grand plan.
And maybe they still do,
but it don't look good.
[Lawler] This not what Vince had in mind.
[JR] The Rock and The Undertaker.
They took matters into their own hands.
[Lawler] Vince, what is happening?
[JR] Low blow. Triple H with a low blow on The Rock
before he could Rock Bottom The Road Dogg.
[Lawler] Here we go. Watch The Undertaker.
[JR] The Undertaker takes the ride.
But here comes X-Pac.
The Undertaker and The Rock now being overwhelmed.
[Lawler] I think this is more what Vince had in mind.
[JR] This is exactly what the McMahon- Helmsley Regime had in mind.
[Lawler] Vince is gonna take matters into his own hands.
[JR] Can this man dismember The Rock and The Undertaker?
Lumberjack Match, my ass!
[Lawler] Look at Vince directing traffic in there.
[JR] And The Game, the WWE champion,
hammering The Rock with right hands.
The Undertaker has been stomped down into the corner.
[Lawler] Vince had a plan and it's working to perfection.
[JR] Too many! The odds are too much here.
-[heavy smack] -Wow! Did you hear that?
[JR] Good shot. Road Dogg with a huge right hand.
Now with The Rock again.
[Lawler] Patterson wanna get him some.
[JR] No doubt about it.
Down goes The Rock. That was a cheap shot by Mr. McMahon.
[Lawler] Well, you don't think it was a cheap shot to attack Vince in the dark?
-From behind? -This is an organized assault.
That's all this is.
Legal mayhem.
[Lawler] Time to pay the piper, that's what this is.
[JR] The Regime has had dark days since Judgment Day.
Until tonight.
[Lawler] Everything is…
[JR] The Rock has got close to the WWE title.
Between… And so has The Undertaker.
-[explosion] -[Lawler] What the hell was that?
[JR] What the hell is that?
Kane! It's The Big Red Machine!
[Lawler] What is he doing here?
[JR] My God!
Kane is back!
The Big Red Machine with evil intentions.
He's kicking ass!
Kane stepping over the top rope.
Down goes Test, down goes X-Pac.
[Lawler] Triple H!
[JR] Oh, my God!
Kane, judgment of hell.
The Big Red Machine has exploded here.
One handed chokeslam on X-Pac.
-[Lawler] Oh, no! -The Game!
The champion, the WWE champion.
Going for a ride.
[Lawler] Vince!
[JR] Kane's got the WWE title belt.
The Big Red Machine has just picked up the business.
[Lawler] I cannot believe this.
[JR] The Rock and The Undertaker want the WWE title.
But so does The Big Red Machine, apparently.
Another bad night for the McMahon-Helmsley Regime.
And a new player, Kane, has just got into the WWE title game.
[Lawler] Oh, my God!
[JR] The Rock and The Undertaker looking at Kane.
The Regime has been foiled once again! g at Kane.