[Stephanie] Tonight is about me.
Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley.
[dramatic music playing]
My New Year's resolution
is to get the respect of the WWE superstars.
[Lawler] Wait a minute.
It's "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
[JR] What brings the Texas Rattlesnake to the ring?
I'm just here to let you know right now, I can show up at these arenas,
I can drink beer and I can raise hell.
[crowd cheering]
But make no mistake about it, woman.
I ain't stepping foot in this ring for a match.
Unless It's a match against Kurt Angle for the WWE title.
So what you got to say about that?
[Lawler] This is a demand.
Nothing personal.
I just don't think you deserve one.
[Lawler] That's a woman in charge right there.
Normally "Stone Cold" Steve Austin doesn't like to waste a perfectly good beer.
But I think In your case,
I can make an exception to the rule.
[JR] "Stone Cold" Steve Austin pouring beer all over Stephanie.
This has got to be the most humiliating Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley's life.
He covered me in beer.
He humiliated me.
I'm Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, damn it.
[Lawler] The Undertaker, dead man Inc.
teams with The Rock to take on Rikishi in a Handicap Match.
I said that this was gonna be a handicap match.
So allow me to introduce Rikishi.
And Regal's partner,
Kane.
[Lawler] Wait a minute, three-on-two and there's a handicap match.
[Lawler] The three-on-two odd is too much for The Undertaker and Rock.
And Rikishi right into the heart of The Undertaker.
He's crushed The Undertaker's chest.
The Big Red Machine.
[Lawler] Happy new year, Rock.
Rock lands it with a chokeslam.
Carnage left by Regal, Rikishi, And Kane.
Rock and Undertaker, left in a heap.
Stephanie has plotted this.
[intro theme playing]
[crowd cheering]
[JR] It's new year's night and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin is in the house.
Listen I was told soon you get here,
Stephanie is demanding that you come to her office.
Oh, she's demanding that I come to her office?
Well, it better be about my WWE title shot
because I'm just dying to open up a big fat can of whoop-ass.
[crowd cheering]
[JR] Oh, my God.
[Raw theme playing]
-[crowd cheering] -[fireworks bursting]
[JR] Happy new year, everybody.
And welcome to the first Raw of 2001.
And tonight, two huge main events.
Tonight, you'll see The Rock meet Kane.
And The Undertaker take on Rikishi.
And the winners of these matches, King,
will face each other this Thursday night on UPN SmackDown.
And the winner of that match will be-- will be right back here next Monday night
to meet Kurt Angle with the WWE title.
[crowd cheering]
["Rollin" playing]
[Lawler] Here we go, JR.
A huge ovation on New Year's Night from The Undertaker.
Those two feared words, "Deadman Walking."
[crowd cheering]
[JR] Oh, but he's riding into 2001, and he wants it to be his year.
Here comes-- oh, look out.
[JR] I mean, two big main events.
The Undertaker and Rikishi here and now. a little bit later tonight.
Rock and Kane.
[Lawler] Wait a minute, wait a minute, do you know what I just realized?
Apparently "Stone Cold" Steve Austin doesn't figure into these plans tonight.
[JR] I don't know.
Austin's not gonna take it well, I can promise you,
as he's been summoned to
Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley's office.
She's in charge here.
[crowd cheering]
And what a reception for The Undertaker.
Deep in the heart of Texas.
[JR] He's got a stone and decade of destruction.
That's what's on The Deadman's mind.
[JR] Oh.
Undertaker wins this match, he'll move on to SmackDown
to face the winner between Rock and Kane.
And the winner of that match will meet Kurt Angle
right here next week for the WWE Title.
["Bad Man" playing]
[bell dings]
[announcer] The following contest is scheduled for one fall.
Making his way to the ring the opponent,
weighing in at 423 pounds,
Rikishi.
[JR] Who will ever forget last Thursday night.
On UPN SmackDown.
Rikishi made a lasting impression, King.
Not only The Rock but The Undertaker as well.
[Lawler] You got that right, Rikishi's trying to send a message.
He wants 2001--oh, to be his year.
Rikishi left both The Undertaker and The Rock laying Last week.
[JR] Undertaker's gonna be sore from that assault, no doubt about it.
And Rikishi knows what's at stake here.
The opportunity to return here in one week,
to meet Kurt Angle for The WWE Title.
-[Lawler] Uh-oh, look at this. -[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] What is--what's The Undertaker doing?
[JR] Undertaker is back on that Bike.
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] Well, Rikishi wasn't in any hurry to…
…come to the ring. I guess The Undertaker--
-Wait a minute. -[JR] Oh, look out.
[Lawler] Look out, he'll run you over.
[JR] Undertaker's gonna run him down.
[crowd cheering]
Undertaker looking to run down Rikishi.
As Rikishi was hesitating.
And now where's the Undertaker going?
He's chased rikishi right Into the back.
-Look at this, there he is. -There they are.
Undertaker and Rikishi.
[crowd cheering]
Undertaker driving Rikishi right back out.
Oh, my God, they're closing up behind to that stage.
And there's nothing but concrete down there.
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] You know The Undertaker has a history of throwing people off--look out.
[JR] Rikishi blocked the right hand.
He may have saved himself right there at least for the time being.
[crowd cheering]
Undertaker and Rikishi one-on-one.
[Lawler] This is a huge match, I mean,
with great circumstances, they better get down into the ring.
They don't wanna get counted out here. Has the match even started?
[JR] I don't know if it's even start officially?
It's all about the WWE title here tonight
on New Year's Night.
And what a way to start off our New Year.
Undertaker on the corner with a thunderous right hand
on the jaw of 423-pounder.
[Lawler] The Undertaker says-- there's the bell.
I guess the match has officially started now.
Undertaker said that he made Rikishi famous when he,
screamed off to the top of that the Hell in a Cell.
Oh.
[JR] There's a knock-down by The Undertaker.
And The Rock looking on, The Rock, who will meet Kane later on tonight.
Of course again, as we--we reiterate.
The stakes could be higher. It's all about the WWE title.
The winner of this match advances to SmackDown.
The winner of The Rock and Kane match later on advances to SmackDown.
And both two winners will meet.
The winner of that will be right back here in one week.
Here on Raw to meet the WWE Champion.
[Lawler] But still, what about "Stone Cold" Steve Austin?
[JR] I don't get that at all.
[Lawler] The first words out of his mouth tonight.
He wants to know about his title shot.
[JR] That's all that's on the mind of the Rattlesnake, I can tell
from talking with him, is the WWE title.
That's all the Rattlesnake wants to talk about.
Yeah, look out here.
[Lawler] It's not gonna be a good way for us to start a New Year, wow.
Rikishi retaliates with another right.
[grunts]
A right-hand by The Undertaker, both men, taking it outside here.
-[Lawler] Oh, look out. -[JR] Now look out.
[crowd cheering]
423 pounds.
Head first the Undertaker's shoulder, after that…
that assault by Rikishi last Thursday night on SmackDown.
You can tell the left arm of The Undertaker is not at a 100 percent.
And Rikishi drops 400 plus.
Right on the shoulder, the neck, the back of the head of The Undertaker.
[Lawler] I think that's probably why The Undertaker--
Have you ever seen anything like,
he tried to run Rikishi down on that motorcycle tonight.
[JR] You're absolutely right.
That was on his--on the mind of the American bad-ass.
To rundown Rikishi.
And right now, Rikishi Is trying to hammer down The Undertaker.
But he fights back with a right hand.
And now Kane looking on.
[Lawler] Oh, there's Kane, The Big Red Machine.
[JR] Kane and The Rock tonight, one-on-one.
[Lawler] All of these guys wanna be The WWE Champion.
But what about the Rattlesnake?
Oh, no.
No.
[JR] Rikishi with a head-butt stopping--oh.
Straight martial arts kick, taking down The Undertaker.
[Lawler] There that famous kick again from Rikishi.
This time right into the chest of the Undertaker.
That same chest that Rikishi smashed last week.
[crowd cheering]
[JR] Undertaker, feeling the effects,
the assault from last Thursday night's SmackDown.
Rikishi now trying to work the advantage here.
[Lawler] That's right, look at Rikishi going right through that chest.
He knows what he's doing.
[crowd murmuring]
[JR] if he ever backs enough into The Undertaker's chest, that could be it.
[crowd murmuring]
[JR] Simply amazing to me that The Undertaker
is able to compete here tonight. Much less with Rikishi.
After Hell in a Cell at the hands of The Undertaker,
And he's back.
[Lawler] Wait a minute, I'll tell you. It's just as amazing that Rikishi is here.
After being thrown out from that Hell in a Cell.
What did he have, a lacerated liver or something, something real bad.
[crowd cheering]
-[JR] Lacerated kidney. -[Lawler] Yeah, kidney.
[JR] A bruised spleen.
-[Lawler] Lot of bad stuff. -[JR] There's a cover, and--oh.
[Lawler] But he's right here competing.
[crowd murmuring]
[JR] Again, it's all about the WWE title.
Oh!
Kurt Angle, the World Wrestling Entertainment Champion
will defend His title here next Monday Night.
There's a belly-to-belly Suplex from Rikishi.
The 423-pounder now,
with a decided and distinct offensive advantage over The Undertaker.
[Lawler] And the man that is absolutely-- oh, here it comes,
This guy is capable of absolutely anything, JR.
If he would rundown "Stone Cold" Steve-- look at this.
Oh, my gosh.
[crowd booing]
[JR] Undertaker trying to pull himself back up.
[Lawler] I don't know if he wants to pull himself up and face this.
[JR] Undertaker still in that corner.
[Lawler] And oh--he's out.
[JR] Rikishi.
Undertaker ducks out of the corner, and turning Rikishi inside out
with a hellacious clothesline.
[Lawler] And a raptured spleen right there.
[crowd cheering]
[JR] Undertaker, you can see his body rack with pain.
-[Lawler] He's still feeling the effects. -[crowd cheering]
[JR] King, I don't think there's any way in the world the Undertaker…
can use the last ride here.
[Lawler] That's not what he's thinking, is it?
I mean, oh, my God, he's gonna try it.
[JR] There it is.
Can the undertaker do it?
[Lawler] That's The last ride. We're Gonna see it.
[JR] He can't do it, King.
That chest, his own sternum, his back his shoulder.
Oh.
Too much pain for The Undertaker,
oh.
Look at the elevation of Rikishi dropping the leg.
Right across the sternum.
[Lawler] There's even more of it now right in the chest of The Undertaker.
[crowd murmuring]
[JR] Rikishi very focused as you can tell by expression on his face,
he knows what's at stake here.
Oh, and what a DDT.
Undertaker got the DDT.
[Lawler] This could be all.
He got him.
[JR] He did it, The Undertaker did it.
[announcer] Here is your winner, The Undertaker.
[Lawler] Rikishi looks lost, unaware of what happened.
You've lost, Rikishi.
[JR] The Undertaker has done it.
And The Undertaker will meet the winner of the Rock-Kane match.
Going to take place later tonight.
The Undertaker moves to SmackDown.
On Thursday night.
[Lawler] Look at this, Rikishi had everything well in hand,
at least he thought but, you know, out of nowhere.
This huge DDT.
And that was it.
[JR] Undertaker could use the last Ride.
But he used the DDT.
And the American Bad-Ass, one step closer to the WWE title.
[JR] Uh-oh.
Austin.
I'm so glad you could make it.
Yeah, I bet you are.
I heard you demanded I come in your little office, so I hope
that you're here to talk about My WWE title shot.
Title shot? [scoffs]
Well, like every other WWE Superstar,
you have to earn a title shot, okay?
And going off of what you said on SmackDown about loving to
drink beer and raise hell,
I've come up with a little job I think you might enjoy.
I have, and since you are under contract to the World Wrestling Entertainment,
you better make due.
Tonight,
you'll be taking Kevin's Job.
And you better make sure that you sell every last ounce of these beers.
And I threw in these hotdogs to boot.
Hold on, you want me to drink It, or you want me to sell it?
Oh, no, no.
Austin, you better sell every bit of this beer.
Because if you don't,
you will never, ever get a title shot.
[crowd cheering]
Better hurry up.
-Oh, and Happy New Year. -Yeah.
[door closes]
[crowd chanting]
You heard her, bud.
I say you got to do what the lady says. And, uh, good luck there, Mr. Austin.
[JR] Oh.
[Lawler] Look at this.
[JR] Austin, on top of the beer vendor.
[Lawler] Look out.
[JR] Oh, please.
[Lawler] Stone Cold snapped.
Good luck.
[JR] Oh, what a--
[Lawler] Hey, come out here, Austin.
I'll take a beer. [laughing]
[JR] I can't believe this.
Folks, we are back,
Stone Cold may not be in Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley's
title plans.
But she had another job for the Rattlesnake tonight.
Since you are under contract to the World Wrestling Entertainment,
you better make due.
Tonight, you'll be taking…
Kevin's job.
And you better make sure that you sell every last ounce of these beers.
And I threw in these hotdogs to boot.
Hold on, you want me to drink it or you want me to sell it?
Oh no, no, no.
Austin you better sell every bit of this beer
because if you don't,
you will never, ever get a title shot.
[JR] Well, the vendor got a little cute with Rattlesnake, King and paid for it.
I say you got to do what the lady says. And, uh, good luck there, Mr. Austin.
[grunting]
[JR] Austin with the right hand knocking down the vendor,
That's the mood the Rattlesnake's in.
[Lawler] Oh, I can't believe that.
For the rattlesnake to attack a beer vendor.
-[JR] Hey, look. -[Lawler] Hey, hey.
Here we go.
Guys, is it just me or does it smell in here?
What are you talking about? It's Texas.
The whole state smells like this.
It makes me wanna throw up.
Hey, guys, what's up?
Hey, Kurt. What do you think about the two big matches for tonight?
What are you talking about?
The matches that Stephanie booked.
You know, Undertaker versus Rikishi.
-Rock versus Kane. -Yeah.
The two winners face each other on SmackDown.
The winner of that faces you, next Monday on Raw for the WWE title.
Did you guys hear about this?
-No. -You're kidding, right?
No. I'm not kidding at all.
Well, did these matches already take place?
Well, actually The Undertaker just beat Rikishi.
Kurt, Kurt, Kurt.
The Undertaker, Rock, Kane, it doesn't matter, Kurt.
You're an Olympic gold medalist.
You have the ability to take anyone down.
-You're almost like a super hero. -That's true.
You're right, you're right.
Well, be that as it may, guys.
How do you all three feel about your match tonight?
I mean, you're scheduled to go up against Y2J and the Dudley Boyz in a table match.
-What? -What?
-Oh, brutal. -Get out of my way.
[JR] A table match?
I hate Texas.
[JR] A table match tonight.
[Lawler] They didn't even know it? What is going on here tonight?
[JR] Kurt Angle, Edge, and Christian just got here.
[bell dings]
[announcer] The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall.
Introducing first being accompanied by Jacqueline.
at a combined weight of 578 pounds,
Farooq and Bradshaw,
The Acolytes.
[JR] Well, King this one should be a slobberknocker.
[Lawler] Well, tonight's Raw is War is brought to you by Weider Sports Nutrition.
Get dynamic muscle builder, pack with proteins,
carbs, and amino acids to nourish your muscle.
Get Weider, get results.
[JR] And by the motor oil that provides maximum protection.
Castrol Gtx, Drive Hard.
[Lawler] And by SmackDown 2.
Get ready to land and smack it down in WWE SmackDown 2.
Know your role for the playstation game console.
["I've Got It All" playing]
[announcer] Their tag team partner,
weighing 269 pounds,
he is "The One", Billy Gunn.
[JR] Six-man tag team action.
A great motivation for the one, Billy Gunn,
because we'll take you back and show you what Right to Censor did
to Chyna three weeks ago.
That has threatened Chyna's career.
And look at Ivory.
Ivory should be ashamed of herself.
For assisting on that spike piledriver.
[Lawler] That doesn't get any easier to watch.
Every time you see it, it's-- look at Ivory, like you said,
she helped deliver the damage and then got right into the face of Chyna.
[JR] Unbelievable.
["Censorship" playing]
[Lawler] Oh, boy.
[announcer] Their opponents, being accompanied by Steven Richards,
and the World Wrestling Entertainment women's champion Ivory.
At a combined weight of 890 pounds,
Val Venis--
[JR] And then we saw sapphire with RTC.
RTC making a big joke at Chyna's injury.
I hated who I was.
I hated that I was a tramp.
I hated that I pose nude at Playboy.
Thanks to the Right To Censor,
now, I can make a change.
I can fight a good fight. I can do what's right.
And be a better person.
[Lawler] Man, oh, man.
[JR] That was pathetically hideous, tell you that right now.
A six-man tag team action.
This will not be pretty, I can tell you.
The acolytes and the one Billy Gunn taking on RTC.
Val Venis, Buchanan, and The Godfather.
[Lawler] Ever something should've been censored that interview
Ivory and Val Venis should've been censored.
[JR] And remember, Jacqueline and Ivory are both here at ringside.
Along with that white socks wearing nerd Steven Richards.
A suplex and take down.
Nice roll by Bradshaw.
And Bradshaw, the big Texan.
Must feel right at home here in the state capital of the lone star state in Austin.
[Lawler] You got that right.
I can't believe that
you know, I used to-- Oh, look at this agility.
[JR] Unbelievable agility and athleticism by Bull Buchanan.
[Lawler] I used to be a huge fan of The Godfather and Val Venis.
I can't stand it, but i was never a fan of that idiot Steven Richards.
[JR] Poor hang time by 300-pounder.
Lateral press, reaches back and got a two-count.
The Undertaker has been victorious here tonight over Rikishi.
And now, we wait for the matchup later tonight between Rock and Kane.
And The Undertaker will meet the winner of that match.
This Thursday night on UPN SmackDown.
[Lawler] Look at this, sometimes strength will beat agility.
Look at that did you see that?
Come on, Bradshaw, let it go.
[JR] Here's Bradshaw now very agile.
He's pretty hostile.
[Lawler] Well, I said he was stronger than…
[JR] Oh, look out here.
[Lawler] He was stronger than bull who was agile.
It looked like one of those XFL--
well, it wasn't a fair catch, XFL doesn't allow fair catches.
[JR] Oh, absolutely not.
None of a smash mouth football taken off.
And a man who played a lot of football, Florida state.
Farooq just got knocked down by Bull Buchanan.
So a guy has got to put two victories together in a row here this week.
The Undertaker has won.
If he wins another one on SmackDown.
Either meeting The Rock or Kane.
We'll know that later tonight.
He's gonna come right back here next Monday night.
And meet Kurt Angle for the WWE Title.
Who's it gonna be?
[Lawler] I don't know, but it's gonna be live next Monday on Raw.
And, man, Stephanie is really--
[JR] Cover, here we go.
[Lawler] Stephanie has been asserting herself.
She's making matches left and right.
Who'd have thought she'd at least tell Kurt Angle about this?
This is out of circumstances, wouldn't you think?
[JR] Hey, look. I guess Mr. McMahon--
[crowd cheering]
I know Vince gonna be here tonight,
But you never know about the McMahons, quite frankly.
You get your ass in here.
[Lawler] Well, they're a little-- I don't wanna say strange.
They're a little eccentric.
[JR] The one Billy Gunn verbalizing with Val.
The man that execute the piledriver with Ivory's help.
That has threatened Chyna's career.
Abd perhaps has ended in all probability.
[Lawler] This is what Billy Gunn has been waiting for.
[JR] And the speed of Billy Gunn.
Beautiful dropkick.
He's six-five, 260.
In the face, and a near-fall.
I can't believe Stone Cold is gonna be selling hotdogs and beer here tonight.
Here deep in the heart of his home state.
How insulting can that be?
[Lawler] What do you mean insulting?
[JR] King, he's a former WWE Champion.
[Lawler] Where is he, do you see him up in the stands?
Is he out? Beer man!
Beer man.
[JR] You don't even drink beer.
[Lawler] I know, but I'll buy one from Stone Cold just to be able to say I did.
I'll take a hotdog then, how about that? A popcorn, whatever it is he's selling.
[JR] I don't think it's funny.
And nobody there for Val Venis.
Tried the high risk and obviously did not pay off.
And what about that six-man table match we heard of.
The Dudleys and Y2J.
Against Edge and Christian, and the WWE Champion.
Kurt Angle.
[Lawler] Oh, look out.
The one Billy Gunn, I'm telling you.
He could beat on Val Venis.
And after the counts come home.
Tilt-a-whirl slam.
[JR] Oh, look at RTC.
Here comes The Acolytes, APA in.
[crowd cheering]
This has been a fist fight, a ballroom brawl.
[Lawler] I wouldn't have it any other way.
It's a fist right in the-- right in the center guy's face.
Hey, wait a minute.
[JR] And the one oh taking down Val Venis.
-[Lawler] Oh, there you go. -[bell dings]
[crowd cheering]
Now he's over trying to hide behind us.
[announcer] here are your winners, the one Billy Gunn and The Acolytes.
[Lawler] Hey, look, JR.
Look at this.
[JR] Here we go.
Val Venis is gonna get what Chyna got,
a piledriver.
[Lawler] And look who saved him.
[JR] In the spirit of friendship and respect of Chyna.
The one Billy Gunn.
The APA and Jacky
end it all here in Texas.
[Lawler] Uh-oh.
Austin, it looks like you're eating up all your profit.
[laughs]
That's real funny, Steph I just got a--
I'm having a real big problem with my mustard here.
[crowd cheering]
Oh.
Ugh.
[door thuds]
You wanting onions with that?
[Lawler] What in the world?
[JR] He can cut the mustard, can he?
-The Rattlesnake-- -[Lawler] Idiot.
[JR] Again, a very Happy New Year, everybody.
We're in Austin, Texas tonight.
And still to come tonight,
The Rock and Kane go one-on-one here in the Drum.
And I can't believe "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
Austin, he's been selling hotdogs, King.
As a matter of fact, his…
his mustard has been a little out of control.
[Lawler] Yeah. He's hasn't been selling any hotdog, this was ridiculous.
Austin, it looks like you're eating up all your profit.
[laughs]
That's real funny, Steph. I just got a--
I'm having a real big problem with my mustard here.
Oh!
Ugh.
Ugh!
[door thuds]
You wanting onions with that?
[Lawler] JR that was ridiculous, that had to be a $1,000 blouse.
[JR] Uh-oh, now, he's changed hat so to speak, he's beer vending.
[Lawler] Wait a minute.
[JR] Hotdog vending was one thing and now, he knows beer.
That's quality control.
[Lawler] Quality control, he's tasting all those beers.
[JR] He's got to make sure they're cold.
[Lawler] I always knew beer vendors did that.
[JR] He's very conscious and through I'm sure he will be…
[Lawler] He's got his fingers in the beer. Who's gonna wanna buy those beers now?
[JR] He's a--he's a professional.
He's a highly trained professional.
Hey, Stephanie's the one who want him vending.
[Lawler] I'm gonna tell you something. Look at this.
He's gonna have hell to pay for what he did to Stephanie.
I can assure you. What, is he gonna drink all of that beer himself?
Ugh. Dad.
This is--
[phone]
No,
Jen, get my other outfit.
Dad, I can't calm down.
Last week, it was beer.
This week it's mustard.
And it's all over my silk blouse.
[Vince] I know. It may be one of your favorite blouses.
But Stephanie, go buy more blouses.
I mean, you can't let him get to you like that.
Just remember one thing, Stephanie.
You are a McMahon.
[knocking]
That's right. Come in.
[Vince] And you've got to always remember, Stephanie.
You are a McMahon above and beyond everything else.
What do you want?
We need to talk. Can we talk?
[Vince] Who's that?
Oh, it's me. Mr. McMahon, it's Trish, Trish Stratus.
[Vince] Oh, hi, Trish.
-Hi. -[Vince] How are you doing?
I'm doing good. How are your holidays?
[Vince] Oh, my holidays were fantastic.
Dad, can we--can we get to the point here?
[Vince] Well, yeah. By the way, Steph,
I'm glad you called because I was gonna call you tonight.
There's gonna be Intercontinental Title defense by Benoit
who will defend his title tonight against Test.
What?
Against Test? Why should he get a title shot?
[Vince] I'm losing you. I'm going through a tunnel here. Damn it I'm losing you.
Dad, don't you dare hung up on me.
[Vince] Stephanie? Hello?
Dad.
[crowd cheering]
You know what, Trish? You can wipe that smile off your face.
Your big breasted tactics may work with men.
But they certainly don't work with me.
Your plastic smile and your fake laugh make me sick.
And if there is any truth
to the rumor
that you were at a certain soup kitchen during the holidays,
then you can forget about hanging out with the McMahon family.
There's only one dominant female in this family and that's me.
Now, get out of my office.
[crowd murmuring]
Steph.
[spray can rattles]
[crowd cheering]
A volatile situation developing between Trish and Stephanie but,
speaking of volatile situations, how about the situation with The Dudley Boyz,
your partner Chris Jericho.
Edge and Christian, and Kurt Angle,
what's gonna happen in this tag team table match tonight?
Kurt Angle?
Christian and Edge?
Huh. Oh, it's time to testify.
Oh, it's time to bow down to the man.
Oh, it's time for us,
to rectify a situation
that you have created.
And tonight,
your bodies
will lay motionless
in a pile of steel.
and broken wood. Ha!
Michael Cole,
Edge,
Christian
and Kurt Angle
have made this match personal.
D-Von.
Get the table.
[crowd cheering]
[JR] That matchup, a table match, King.
Somebody's gonna get hurt.
[narrator] And now, the WWE rewind, presented by WWE no mercy.
Perform vicious double-team moves and show no mercy in a high-flying ladder match.
WWE no mercy for Nintendo 64.
It doesn't get any badder than this.
[JR] 2x4, and a suplex, and a cover.
Whoa, Blackman headed back.
Oh, wait a minute, there's Raven
With a 2x4 Raven with a cover.
Raven is our new hardcore champion.
["End of Everything" playing]
Raven taking advantage of the 24/7.
Brutal here in the hardcore division, King.
[Lawler] Not easy to get one up on Steve Blackman,
but you got to give Raven credit, he did it.
[bell dings]
[announcer] The following contest is scheduled for one fall,
and it is for the World Wrestling Entertainment Hardcore Championship.
Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 249 pounds.
He is the World Wrestling Entertainment Hardcore champion,
Raven.
[JR] We found out moments ago,
the Intercontinental title will be on the line.
Chris Benoit defending against Test,
the man that Stephanie McMahon gave Trish an earful.
[Lawler] Oh, did she ever?
Remember what Stephanie said? There's only one dominant female around here.
She said that-- that Trish was plastic and fake.
Or at least her smile and her laugh.
Today is a special day,
i.e. a day that will live
in World Wrestling Entertainment infamy.
Because today
is the first day
of the year of the Raven.
[crowd cheering]
And as far as all you intellectual cripples
here in brain-dead Austin, Texas…
-[Lawler] Intellectual cripples? [scoffs] -[crowd booing]
You will bear witness
to my reign of terror
in what has come to be known as
the Raven effect.
And I will annihilate…
-[heart pounding] -[Raven] …and--
-[Lawler] Uh-oh. -[crowd cheering]
The mood is about to change.
-[heart pounding] -[beeping]
[Lawler] The Raven effect?
-[EKG flatline sound] -[drums beating]
-[loud explosion] -[Lawler] Ah!
["13" playing]
[announcer] Introducing the challenger
from the Red Hook section of Brooklyn, New York,
weighing in 248 pounds,
Tazz.
[JR] Well, we got Hardcore title on the line
and we're only three weeks away…
-[JR] …from the incomparable Royal Rumble. -[Lawler] Oh.
[JR] One of these two men may not make it, King,
to the Royal Rumble in New Orleans three weeks from now.
-[JR] Oh. -[Lawler] Well, you got that right.
[Lawler] Not when you consider all the weapons around ringside
and-- uh-oh, a noose. [cackles]
Look at this!
Oh.
[JR] Both these guys are very accomplished Hardcore performers,
there's no doubt about that.
It's something for anyone who beat Steve Blackman.
You got to give Raven some credit, King,
for beating the greatest Hardcore Champion
in the history of the WWE.
[Lawler] Both of them are tough, nobody knows better than me.
I've had some battles with both of them.
I can remember when these two guys were thick as thieves. Now--
Now they're trying to tear each other apart. Oh, look at this.
[JR] Tazz with Tazzmission…
-[Lawler] Choke out time. -[JR] Ooh.
[JR] …on Raven, and Raven got the low blow.
Remember in this Hardcore match-ups,
there are no disqualifications, no count outs…
-[JR] …no time limits… -[Lawler] Oh, man!
[JR] …and pinfalls count anywhere.
[Lawler] Now, where are they going?
[JR] Wait, that's a--
[Lawler] They're in the women's bathroom. [laughs]
[women screaming]
[woman 1] You gotta get out!
This is the woman-- ahhh.
[Lawler] Oh my gosh!
[JR] Good grief. Well, it--
[Lawler] Straight by the stalls? [laughs]
-[screaming] -[grunting]
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] Somebody didn't flush.
-[Lawler] Oh, no! -[Raven screams]
-[JR] Somebody's taking a lot of vitamins. -[Lawler] Oh, no!
[Lawler laughing]
[JR] Look at Raven's hair soaking wet from that stool.
[Lawler] Boy, is he's gonna be-- Well, I better not say that.
[JR] I hope Bubba wins the Orange Bowl. I think Raven just won the toilet bowl.
[Lawler] This is great.
[JR] He got a 50-yard line seat there.
-[Raven] Yeah! -[Lawler] Oh, watch it.
[JR] Still to come, The Rock and Kane, one-on-one.
-[Raven grunts] -[JR] Oh look at this, this is--
[JR] Well, you talk about it.
[Lawler] Now, where are they going?
-[JR] Raven and, oh wait. -[Lawler] No! They're in the locker room.
[JR] Oh my god, there's The Hollys, Hardcore Holly and Crash Holly.
-[Lawler] What the heck is this? -[JR] And there's Molly.
[Lawler] Well, I guess there's falls count anywhere, so it's--
-[Lawler] Hey, there's Blackman. -[JR] And Steve Blackman.
[JR] Remember, there's no disqualifications
in this wild and crazy match-up.
[Lawler] Everybody's got their own referee.
Molly, what are you doing?
-[JR] Molly was-- -[Lawler] Look out!
[JR] Molly's thinking about pinning out, ooh, Raven.
[Lawler] Hey.
[hissing]
[Lawler] There's the Raven effect for you right there.
-[JR] Raven trying to-- -[Lawler] Ooh.
[JR] Two-by-four right on Crash's head.
-[referee] One, two, three. -[JR] The Crash…
-[bell dings] -[JR] crashed on the match.
-[Lawler] Wait. -[JR] He got pinned.
-[announcer] Your winner and still… -[JR] Raven.
…the World Wrestling Entertainment Hardcore…
[JR] Oh, Blackman's hot on his heels.
Raven trying to escape with the Hardcore title.
And Hardcore Holly and Blackman getting into it
and Raven trying to get the hell out of Texas.
[Lawler] Look at this!
[Lawler] Uh-oh, look at this.
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] He got one-- one beer.
-[Lawler] I'll take it, come out. -[JR] Come on, we want a beer.
["I Won't Do What You Tell Me" playing]
[JR] And we're back!
And here comes the Texas Rattlesnake.
He still got his beer, King, apparently on one hand.
He still got the hotdogs too.
[Lawler] He ate them all! Give me a break.
You ain't selling anything to anybody.
You're not fooling me and I don't think you're gonna fool Stephanie either.
[JR] Stephanie wanted Austin to be vendor tonight.
And the Rattlesnake, in his home deep in the heart of Texas,
with these thousands upon thousands of fans on their feet.
[Lawler] How many beers do you think Austin drank already tonight?
[JR] Oh, I think he was selling beer,
I don't think he's been drinking on the job.
[Lawler] I didn't see him sell one beer. Weren't you watching?
What have you been doing, JR?
[JR] We don't know, man. I mean--
[Lawler] I know it, I saw it.
You've seen him swigging those beers,
tasted every one of them.
[JR] He's got one thing on his mind, there's the Rattlesnake.
-[Lawler] Beer. -[JR] And that's the WWE title.
[JR] No, it's not beer, it's the WWE title and he's been--
[Stone Cold] You know, Steph, last week, you came out here
talking about your New Year's-- New Year's resolutions
and nobody gave a rat's ass about what you had to say.
[crowd cheering]
There's only one resolution "Stone Cold" Steve Austin's got,
and that's to get a World Wrestling Entertainment title shot.
So since I sold all your little beers and hotdogs,
I want you to bring your ass out right now
and give me my title shot.
[Lawler] Sell? he didn't sell anything.
[JR] You go tell him that.
[Lawler] You--
You tell him.
I don't know what part of bring your little ass out here right now
you don't understand. It's real simple.
I'm not asking you to come out here,
I'm telling you to come out here.
-[Stone Cold] And if I have to… -[JR] Uh-oh.
[Lawler] What?
I'll go back to the locker room
and drag your little carcass to this ring.
[Lawler] You can't be that demanding with a McMahon.
-[JR] Well… -[smoke hissing]
[JR] "Stone Cold" doesn't care that Stephanie is in charge.
[JR] And here comes…
-[Lawler] He better care. -[JR] Here she comes.
[Lawler] Here she comes. And right, she changed her blouse.
He ruined that
probably $3,000 to $4,000 blouse she was wearing earlier.
[JR] A while ago it was a thousand dollars.
[JR] Oh, come on.
[Lawler] It's appreciating every five or ten minutes.
[JR] Got a little mustard on them.
[Lawler] No matter what, it was her favorite blouse and it's ruined.
And she's the most dominant female ever in the World Wrestling Entertainment.
She's got the power.
[JR] Well, I hope-- I'm sure Stephanie is not concerned right now
that her mother is on a heavy medication.
-[Lawler] Well, that's good. -[JR] Because of a nervous breakdown.
[Lawler] The New Year's, all those fireworks going off,
Mr. McMahon I heard had her badly sedated
so that she won't be traumatized by all those
loud noises.
Who the hell do you think you're talking to?
-[JR] Uh-oh. -[Lawler] Put him in his place.
A complete bitch.
-[Lawler] What? -[JR] Wow.
Okay, Austin,
you really must be quite the salesman,
because I gave you a ton of beer and hotdogs to sell
and I haven't seen you sell one drop
or one bite.
Now, I think you either…
[crowd chanting] Slut! Slut! Slut!
[Lawler] Hey, wait a minute.
[crowd chanting] Slut! Slut! Slut!
[Lawler] JR, what?
I don't know if you hear them or not, but they're calling you a slut.
-[Lawler gasps] -[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] This is awful.
I don't care what they call me.
But Austin,
I think you either
gave all that beer and all those hotdogs away
or you ate and drank them yourself.
[Lawler] Bingo! That's what he did.
You're calling me a liar?
-Don't do it. -Maybe.
Or maybe I'm just calling you
a beer swilling
Texas redneck!
-[Lawler] Ha, ha! Whoa. Whoo, ho, ho. -[crowd cheering]
Well, I appreciate the compliment, but the fact of the matter is
I found a couple of thirsty sum bitches back there
who bought every single beer I had
and I think you know who I'm talking about.
-[Lawler] What? -[crowd cheering]
Are you guys enjoying the beer?
Damn right.
So I guess, the bottom line is, Steph,
since I done sold all your little beers
and ate all the hotdogs,
then I won't be needing this sum bitch anymore,
but I think it might look kind of cute on daddy's girl.
-[Lawler] No, wait, hey wait a minute. -[JR] Daddy's girl is not a vendor.
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] She don't--
You know that's--
Be careful when taking that thing off,
it's kind of sticky, I made a big mess of it.
That's real cute, Austin.
-But if you think for one second-- -Oh, shut up!
-[Lawler gasps] -[crowd cheering]
See, I don't give a rat's ass
what you think.
The only thing I care about right now
is my WWE title shot,
so how about it, woman?
[crowd chatter]
If you think, Austin, for one second,
that you can humiliate and embarrass me
the way you have my father,
you better think again!
Help her with that thing, it's heavy, get it off of her.
-[Lawler] Idiot. -But…
[crowd cheering]
…seeing as how I am a McMahon,
and I am a woman of my word,
then I will have to put you in the mix tonight.
[Lawler] What?
-[JR] Mix. -You sold all your beer, you did your job.
So tonight,
in this very ring…
[crowd cheering]
…you will face William Regal.
[crowd cheering]
-[Lawler] William Regal? -[JR] He's not the WWE Champion.
And the winner of your match
will face the winner of The Rock-Kane match…
[Lawler] Uh-oh.
…who will face The Undertaker
in a Triple Threat Match
for the number one contendership
to the World Wrestling Entertainment championship on SmackDown.
[Lawler] She is in charge.
But Austin,
I wouldn't be too disappointed when I lose if I were you,
and you show up at the arena
on SmackDown,
and find yourself with a job more suitable to your talents,
like… scrubbing toilets.
[Lawler] Ooh.
[JR] Oh, man.
It smells like you've been scrubbing toilets with your toothbrush, woman.
[Lawler] What?
[crowd cheering]
Do you understand what I'm saying?
You can sit there and look me in the eyes when I tell you this,
you can jerk around everybody in the back,
but if you think "Stone Cold" Steve Austin is gonna keep playing games with you
week after week, uh-uh,
you got another thing coming
and I will make
2001 the single worst year of your life.
[crowd cheering]
[JR] She's been warned.
Are you threatening me, Austin?
Because if I were you,
I'd be more concerned with my match against Regal tonight
than threatening me.
Now, get this thing off me.
Well, since you've been so sweet to me, I guess I could
give a lady a hand. Let me help you out there.
-[Lawler] What? -[JR] Oh. Oh, god.
-[crowd cheering] -[Lawler] Oh, my God.
-[JR] Good grief. -[Lawler] Oh, my God.
[Lawler] Whoa, oh.
[Lawler shrieks]
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] Oh my gosh, he disrobed her.
[JR] He did what was s a…
[Stone Cold] Had more foam in that bra than one of my beers.
["I Won't Do What You Tell Me" playing]
[crowd cheering]
[JR] Good grief. I don't know what-- I'm speechless.
[Lawler] I can't believe this. He--
That was intentional, JR.
[JR] You think?
[Lawler] He ripped Stephanie's blouse off.
[JR] Well, Stephanie asked him to take it off.
And Austin's got bit free tonight.
The Rattlesnake's back with a WWE title match.
[Lawler] Stephanie asked him to take it off, but not her blouse.
I've never seen anything like this in my life.
[JR] He said it was sticky.
He warned her it was sticky.
[Lawler] He'll pay for that, I can assure you.
You don't embarrass Stephanie like that and get away with it.
[JR] Well, coming up next,
a Six-Man Tag Team table match.
Who's gonna taste the wood here tonight?
[Lawler] Oh, what a happy New Year.
[JR] We're back.
Another humiliating moment at the hands of "Stone Cold" Steve Austin
for Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley.
[Lawler] It was awful.
[JR] King, here the slow motion, look.
[Lawler] No, no, don't show this in slow motion!
[JR] Well, you were yelling puppies on that.
[Lawler] Come on, JR, the man ripped her-- her blouse off, and
she was down to her bra and you're right,
this is gonna be the most humiliating moment in Stephanie's life.
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] Puppies, that's a princess right there.
-[JR] I can't believe this. -[Lawler] How much…
[Stone Cold] Had more foam in that bra than one of my beers.
["I Won't Do What You Tell Me" playing]
[Lawler] Did you hear what the Rattlesnake said?
[JR] I heard it all right.
[JR] Austin's back with the title, huh?
We're building to that Triple Threat Match on SmackDown Thursday.
[crowd cheering]
-[loud explosions] -[JR] Ahh!
[JR] But now we've got a Six-Man Tag Team table match-up.
["Break the Walls Down" playing]
[JR] Chris Jericho and the Dudleys,
getting ready to get it on.
♪ Is not from the least ♪
♪ Bring it from the stage In the rage of the beast ♪
♪ Step in the arena And break the walls down ♪
♪ Step in the arena ♪
Welcome to…
[crowd] Raw is Jericho!
Stephanie is naked.
-[crowd cheering] -[Lawler] Oh please, not you, too.
Seriously Stephanie,
you don't have to act embarrassed about what just happened,
I mean, it's not as though
three quarters of the locker room
hasn't seen you undressed already anyways.
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] Can you believe he's saying that, JR?
[JR] Austin said that she had more foam in her bra than he had in his beer.
[Lawler] She is not a falsie.
-[explosion] -[Lawler] Oh!
["We're Coming Down" playing]
[JR] Those damn Dudleys, they're incoming.
[JR] Like they promised, yes indeed,
Bubba Ray and D-Von, are bringing the wood.
[JR] Let's take you back to UPN SmackDown, King,
last Thursday night.
-[Lawler] Oh. -[JR] Kurt Angle…
[JR] …taking care of Bubba Ray Dudley
much to Stephanie's, erm,
approval.
She was in charge.
[Lawler] Yeah, she was, and let me just tell Y2J, Stephanie,
If he thinks that what he got last week from Stephanie was something,
wait until she hears what he said tonight.
[JR] Now, certainly,
Stephanie must be doing a great job in her dad's eyes
because Mr. McMahon is not scheduled to be here tonight.
[Lawler] If he heard what's happened so far,
he'll get on the first thing smoking and he'll be here before the show is over.
["Medal" playing]
[JR] Well, Trish is here, I guess that put a little damper on that drama.
[Lawler] What are you talking about? You're always trying to stir things.
[JR] We're in a soup kitchen…
serving lobster bisque.
Hey, Bubba.
Bubba.
[crowd booing]
Just so I know,
how is your back
after I put it through a table on SmackDown?
-Come on down here. -[Edge] Never mind that,
but speaking of SmackDown, Y2J,
how did it feel to have your face
have the crap totally slapped out of it
by Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley? [laughs]
-[Lawler] Yeah, how did that feel? -Yeah Chris,
you really have to admit
That was totally slaptastic.
[Lawler] Slaptastic. [chuckles]
-[Lawler] JR, it's slaptastic. -You know what,
I'm doing just fine, Junior, Jerky, and Jackass.
-[crowd cheering] -[Lawler] Uh-oh.
And as far as Stephanie goes,
the next time you see your little buddy,
make sure to congratulate her
on bringing new meaning
to the term bitch-slapped.
-[JR] Oh, that did it. -[Lawler] Them fighting words.
[JR] And here come
Edge, Christian, and Kurt Angle, the Tag Team Champions,
and the WWE Champion,
being the Dudleys and Y2J
in a Six-Man Tag Team table match.
And Bubba Ray just sent Kurt Angle
flying right through the air through the ropes all the way to floor.
[Lawler] You got that right, JR. this is a table match.
That's the only way this thing is gonna end,
if somebody goes through a table.
No pinfalls, no submissions.
The match continues until one member of either team
has been driven through a table.
[Lawler] Well, and that's the specialty of these damn Dudleys.
[JR] And I can't believe The Rock and Kane still to meet tonight.
Now, "Stone Cold" and Steven Regal one-on-one, and the winners--
The winners between those two remaining matches tonight
will join The Undertaker this Thursday night
in a Triple Threat Match on SmackDown.
And then the winner of that Triple Threat Match Thursday night
will move back to Raw
and challenge Kurt Angle for the WWE title.
[Lawler] I can't believe what happened to Stephanie.
Let's face it, she was being fair.
Even you got to admit that she was being fair,
She gave "Stone Cold" Steve Austin credit for some of the beer which he drank,
and then he-- she put him in the title mix, and what happened?
-[JR] Well, I'm sure that was an accident. -[Lawler] "I'm sure that was an accident."
[Lawler] My gosh.
[JR] How come you weren't yelling puppies?
Don't you like puppies anymore? Is that your New Year's resolution?
That you're not on puppies? you don't like puppies.
[Lawler] Boy, you are really crass, you know what, JR?
When I snap, you're gonna be the first to go,
you know that don't you?
[JR] Side Russian leg sweep by Christian, taking down D-Von Dudley.
Well, all I know is that Stone Cold's back in the WWE title hunt.
If he'll beat William Regal tonight, a must-win situation
for both Regal and Austin as it is for Rock and Kane.
[Lawler] I can't believe you saying puppies like Stephanie--
Where'd you get language like that?
[JR] From you.
-[crowd] We want tables! -[JR] These men want tables.
[Lawler] Sit down.
[crowd] We want tables!
[Lawler] We're gonna get them. somebody's gonna a table.
[JR] Kurt Angle gets the tag. He's the WWE Champion.
One week from tonight,
Kurt Angle will face
one man, the number-one contender for the WWE title.
And throughout tonight-- and throughout this Thursday night
on UPN SmackDown,
we will determine that number-one contender,
the man that will face Angle one week from tonight
live from San Jose, California on Raw.
[Lawler] Oh.
[JR] Shot to the ribs by Christian.
Don't forget, still to come, the Intercontinental title
on the line tonight.
Test, challenging Chris Benoit
in a match made by Mr. McMahon,
and I wonder if Trish had any influence on that decision.
[Lawler] Why do you always think the worst?
Why do you think Trish would have influence on Mr. McMahon?
[JR] I'm just asking a viable question, that's all.
[Lawler] It's because Mr. McMahon was a gentleman.
You heard the tone in Mr. McMahon's voice change
when he heard that Trish was on the phone.
[JR] Uh-oh. Y2J got the tag, and Jericho wearing out Christian.
Angle and Edge got some too.
Oh. Jericho airborne.
[Lawler] Yeah, now, he crash landed.
-[JR] And the Dudleys are in. -[Lawler] Oh, no.
-[JR] And one Dudley is out. -[Lawler] This is bad. Kurt, look out.
[JR] Christian… Edge's head bounced off the steps
at the hands of D-Von Dudley.
It's Bubba Ray Dudley, Irish whip in, but nobody there.
Kurt Angle, the WWE Champion, sternum first, the spin slam.
Bubba Ray Dudley… remember, no disqualifications.
[Lawler] No, don't do it. I'm begging you, don't say wassup.
Oh, no, Kurt, look out!
Oh, right in his gold medals.
I think he just got his gold medals bronzed.
-D-Von! -[JR] Uh-oh. Here we go.
-Get the tables! -[Lawler] No, that's what they want.
[JR] Get the tables and break somebody's body!
Will it be Kurt Angle or Edge and Christian?
It looks like it's gonna be the WWE Champion.
And waiting on the outside, D-Von Dudley getting kicked off by Edge on the outside.
[Lawler] Here you go. Give it to him, put him through it.
[JR] Oh, and Bubba trying to fight out of it.
-And Christian moved the table. -[Lawler laughs] No table.
[JR] And Bubba Ray wanted to suplex Kurt Angle right through the table.
The table was moved by Angle's partner, Christian.
[Lawler] Good job, Christian. You saved the day for Kurt--
-[JR] Uh-oh. Here we go. -[Lawler] Here we go.
[JR] Christian… Bubba Ray the focus here.
-[Lawler] Look out. -[JR] Oh!
And then Kurt Angle, again.
[Lawler] No!
[JR] And this time it's Jericho that moved the table.
Angle probably had it won there.
[Lawler] Mind your own business, Y2J.
[JR] What do you mean mind his own business?
[Lawler] Uh-oh. He's looking to take care of business with Kurt.
[crowd cheering]
Short Irish whip then.
[Lawler] Oh.
[JR] And Angle able to side step Jericho in that exchange.
[Lawler] Here we go, Olympic slam through the table. Whoa!
-How'd he get out of that? -[JR] Jericho countered.
[Lawler] No, no, not The Walls of Jericho!
-[JR] And here comes Edge. -[Lawler] Thank goodness.
Edge picking off Y2J.
-[Lawler] Oh, no. No! -[crowd cheering]
-[JR] 3D through the table! -[bell ringing]
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] Christian!
[announcer] Here are your winners, Chris Jericho and The Dudley Boyz.
[JR] Edge just got drilled through that table, and I think Edge is hurt.
[Lawler] You think Edge is hurt? What do you mean you think Edge is hurt?
-[JR] Well, I'm not a doctor, Einstein. -[Lawler] Well, he needs a doctor.
I hope you're proud of yourself. Those damn Dudleys.
I can't believe this.
I thought-- I thought Kurt had Jericho with the Olympic slam
and somehow, Y2J got out of it and he put Kurt in The Walls of Jericho.
[JR] Well, Edge made the save there, but Edge wasn't expecting this,
the 3D from the Dudleys.
[Lawler] Oh, no.
[bell dinging]
[JR] Edge just got his body shattered right through that table
like being in a car wreck.
The Dudleys and Y2J, taking care of some serious table business here
with one-half of the tag team champions.
-[knock on door, door opens] -Hey.
Well, look who finally decided to show up.
You know Trish, why don't you do us both a favor?
Just go back to your little sugar daddy and worry about managing his money.
-Test… -That's all you've been worried about.
I don't know what kind of lies you've been hearing,
but that's what they are, lies. I was home for the holidays.
-[scoffs] Right. -What's with the attitude?
-You should be grateful. -Whoa, you want me to be grateful?
Then get me a match with Albert. if not, there's the door.
Don't let it hit you in the ass on the way out.
Test, if you want to end this partnership right here, right now, that's your choice.
But I had nothing to do with Albert leaving
and I had nothing to do with Vince McMahon.
Test, the only person I would have anything to do with is you,
you and your career.
Test, you've always been the star of this team.
I knew that from the first minute I saw you,
that's why I chose you first.
Look, we'll get to Albert, but tonight, you need to focus on the bigger picture.
Test, you have a shot at becoming Intercontinental Champion.
Test, I'm gonna be there to raise your hand,
but it's up to you.
All right. What the hell are we waiting for? Let's go.
[JR] Intercontinental title is next.
[Jesse Ventura] Part of the reason I love football
is because my dad used to take me to the game.
It was a tradition that we could share.
Nowadays, the average fan can't afford tickets to the game.
There are seat licenses and waiting lists.
It's time to start a new tradition. Take your dad to an XFL game.
It will remind him of why he loves football.
[announcer] The XFL, coming this February.
It's real football.
You know king, the XFL kicks off in just about a month,
and this Saturday, tickets are gonna be available.
The fans around the country are gonna be a part of
the very first XFL football game, just about a month away.
Why don't you take me to a game, dad?
-I'll do that. -All right.
You can be a part of history, I'm telling you.
This Saturday, the tickets go on sale for the very first XFL game
that's gonna be kicking off in a month.
It's gonna be some slobberknocker football, no doubt about that.
Folks, just a couple of moments ago,
our cameras caught someone disturbing, in my views,
in Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley's office, as you can see.
Watch who came out of there, and look at this expression.
Look at this face now.
[Lawler] What do you-- What's wrong with that?
[Lawler] You got a smile on your face-- Are you gonna start a rumor now?
I'm sure Stephanie's got her clothes back on right now.
[JR] What?
[Lawler] Why do you think he's got a smile on his face?
[announcer] The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is
for the World Wrestling Entertainment Intercontinental Championship.
Making his way to the ring from Edmonton, Alberta, C
Canada, weighing in at 229 pounds,
he is the Intercontinental Champion, Chris Benoit.
[JR] Chris Benoit has that XFL mid-linebacker animalistic mentality.
He will tear your head off and then smile after because he enjoys inflicting pain.
But Benoit is the Intercontinental Champion.
He's about to defend the title against Test,
who, until a week ago, was inseparable with tag team partner, Albert.
[announcer] …weighing in at 282 pounds, Test.
[JR] This match made by Mr. McMahon, who's not even here.
Earlier tonight, we'll be back to this story momentarily,
but here's what happened last Thursday night on SmackDown.
[Lawler] Yeah. I couldn't believe this.
I mean, oh! Albert and Test, like you said, to me, they were one of the…
one of the best tag teams here in the WWE,
but they sure went at each other last week.
[JR] Absolutely, and Stephanie enjoyed seeing the punishment.
[Lawler] Hey, hey, look at this match,
-it's already underway. -[JR] Just getting underway right here.
These two men not wasting any time. The Intercontinental title on the line.
And Test with a great opportunity,
and again, I wonder, thinking out loud here,
if Trish had some sort of influence on Mr. McMahon
in getting this match signed.
[Lawler] Wait a minute, so you're trying to say that Mr. McMahon
is showing favoritism to Trish
by giving Test the match against this Rabid Wolverine?
[JR] I'm simply asking a question.
[Lawler] You just said yourself that Benoit's--
[JR] Oh, here we go, here-- We got-- No.
[Lawler] Did you say that Benoit's like an animal
that he'll rip your head off and smile at you?
[JR] Exactly.
[Lawler] So I guess Mr. McMahon was doing Test a favor
by putting him in there with that animal?
[JR] Well, the stakes are pretty high here.
The Intercontinental title's at stake. I'd say that's worth the risk.
And Benoit, looking for The Crippler Crossface.
-[Lawler] He's got him. -[JR] Benoit will tear him right here,
and Test trying to get to the ropes, we'll see.
Test desperately gets to the bottom rope and Benoit's got to break this hold.
He could do so much damage in just a short period of time.
[Lawler] He's got him, he's got him. What are you doing, ref?
[JR] Test was in the ropes. He's got to break the hold,
that's a pretty simple rule.
If Benoit doesn't, he's gonna get disqualified,
-or maybe he doesn't care. -[Lawler] Well, I'll tell you, I…
[JR] He can't lose a title to disqualification.
[Lawler] I'm just sick over what's happened to Stephanie so far tonight.
That surely couldn't have been the way she wanted to start 2001.
[JR] Well, she shouldn't provoke Austin.
-[Lawler] Provoke Austin… -[JR] She should know.
She's seen what Austin has done to her own family, her father--
There's a cover here.
[Lawler] And she asked him nicely to assist in
taking the beer tray from around her neck, and what did he do?
He ripped her blouse off. Exposed her right here to the world.
[JR] Yeah, he warned her, didn't he?
[Lawler] And what about that confrontation with Trish?
[JR] I mean, Stephanie's confrontation with Trish
about being the only one dominant female in the family or around here, or…
[Lawler] Well, at least she told Trish off, didn't she?
And her big-breasted ways. [laughs]
[JR] I guess you don't like Trish's big breasts anymore either, huh?
[Lawler] Huh? No, I--that's Stephanie.
[JR] How many New Year's resolutions have you made?
[Lawler] Can we get back to this match, JR?
[JR] Let's get back to one thing more important than that,
The Rock and Kane.
They're gonna go one-on-one tonight, just as Austin will meet Regal tonight.
And remember, the undertaker has qualified to move onto SmackDown Thursday night.
[Lawler] Hey, this is important. This is the Intercontinental title match.
[JR] Absolutely, it is. I realize that.
-All I'm saying is… -[Lawler] Look at Trish,
she's really pumped up for this match.
Hey. Hey, wait a minute, look who's here.
[JR] It's Albert, Test's former partner.
-[Lawler] Hey-- Whoa! -[JR] And Test sees Albert
and came right off the top rope.
Test wanted Albert, and he wants him in a bad way.
Test taking his eye off the Intercontinental ball here momentarily.
-[Lawler] That's not smart. -[JR] May not be.
Test coming back in the ring and Benoit right there to greet him.
[Lawler] Oh, man.
-[JR] Can you hear that? -[Lawler] Yes, I can.
[JR] Reversal by Test. Nice tilt-a-whirl slam.
The leg is hooked, and we got-- a long time two-count.
[Lawler] I guess- I guess Trish has kicked Albert to the curb.
She doesn't even seem concerned at all
that he's laying over there with his head dented in by those steps.
-Oh! -[JR] Powerslam by Test
on the Intercontinental Champion.
Albert got hammered. He's still on the outside.
Albert had no business out here, quite frankly.
[Lawler] What do you mean no business? That's his partner-- Whoa!
Or used to be his partner.
That's how you just-- Hey, look at this!
[JR] Look at Trish! Trish just shoved Test right off the top.
-[Lawler] What? -[JR] What the hell is that about?
[bell dings]
-[JR] Why that… -[announcer] Here is your winner
and still the World Wrestling Entertainment intercontinental Champion,
Chris Benoit.
-[Lawler] What happened? -[JR] I don't have a--any idea.
I didn't…
[JR] Trish must have suckered Test
-into this whole thing. -[Lawler] Oh, no.
Get out there, Trish. Run!
[JR] Oh! And now Albert trying a cheap shot on Test.
Albert, a 6'8", 350-pounder.
[Lawler] What do you mean a cheap shot? That's anything but a cheap shot, JR.
[JR] I'm talking about the person, I'm talking about that one.
-We've got officials down here. -[Lawler] Let him go, let him go.
[crowd chatter]
[JR] Test hadn't even--
-[Lawler] Wait a minute. -[JR] Benoit.
[Lawler] What the heck?
[JR] Benoit giving Albert a Crippler Crossface.
What in the hell is going on in New Year's Night?
[Lawler] Ref, get in there.
[JR] Oh! Test taking down Benoit.
[Lawler] I'm confused. Is this match over or what?
[JR] Definitely over.
Benoit has won the match,
but the personal issue between Test and Albert…
[Lawler] Okay. These officials better stop this now,
I don't even know what's going on here.
[JR] You've got Test fighting Albert. Albert is hammering Test.
-[Lawler] Albert fighting Benoit, and… -[JR] Benoit fighting Test.
Test and Albert, they're gonna get it on, so…
-[Lawler] Look out! -[JR] Oh, there's Test again.
-[Lawler] Where is Trish? -[JR] Trish just ran to high ground.
[Lawler] I don't blame her.
[JR] Trish just-- she just--
Trish just screwed Test, perhaps, on the Intercontinental title.
[Lawler] But why?
And would you think it's safe to say that these guys aren't a tag team anymore?
[JR] Bingo.
[Lawler] No more T&A. Hey.
Excuse me Ms. Commissioner, may I have a word?
Yeah, William. What can I help you with?
Well, first, do you mind covering yourself up a little bit?
I mean, your chest is rather distracting me.
It's hard to concentrate with those rather large…
You know what, Will, I guess you'll have to deal with it, honey.
If I must. I've just come back from speaking to Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley.
-Uh-huh. -And she has
a very special surprise for my match this evening,
and I wondered if you could give
this wonderfully-smashing good news to "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
And what would this smashing good news be, William?
Well, in the interest of fair play and good sports…
-of course. -…Stephanie has decided
to appoint a special guest referee to our match
to make sure that everything runs smoothly.
Is that right? And who would this surprise referee be?
Well, if I told you, it wouldn't a surprise, would it?
-[laughs] -[laughs mockingly] Yeah.
[JR] What does that-- I don't like the looks of this at all.
["Radicalz" playing]
[JR] We are back on New Year's night.
And well, The Radicalz. We don't know…
[Lawler] Come on, JR, let's talk about the big news.
[JR] I'm trying to get to the damn referee, King, if you will let me.
[Lawler] Who is it gonna be?
[JR] Who do you think? It's gonna be somebody Stephanie picks.
This could be somebody that can screw Austin.
That's what it's gonna be.
-[Lawler] Well, okay, Einstein. -[bell ringing]
[announcer] The following contest is scheduled for one fall.
To the commentary table,
we have Terri, Perry Saturn,
and the World Wrestling Entertainment Light Heavyweight Champion, Dean Malenko.
-Look at this. -Oh, yeah.
We're being joined by Dean Malenko, Perry Saturn, oh, and Terri. [laughs]
-[chatter] -Hi, Dean, how are you?
I'll tell you, is it me
or is there not a dry eye in every female in this crowd
-because they know that I'm a taken man? -[Lawler] Well, you know.
I'm sure you break a lot of hearts there.
-["Loaded" playing] -[cheering]
[Dean] You know the best thing about Austin, Texas?
[announcer] Making their way to the ring, being accompanied by Lita,
from Cameron, North Carolina,
at a combined weight of 430 pounds,
Matt and Jeff, The Hardy Boyz.
[JR] The Hardy Boyz featured in the wweyearinreview.com.
Go to wwe.com,
and look at the exciting year in review,
and some of the great highlights including The Hardys
and Mr. Malenko's heartthrob, Lita.
[Lawler] That's a good way to put it.
Mr. Malenko's heartthrob--
Oh, look at Matt giving you the evil eye here.
What's up with him, Dean?
[Dean] You know, I don't know if it's me
or it's just that as of late,
it seems that Matt Hardy has been a little smitten with Lita.
You know, I'm a competitor in and out of the ring.
And I showed what I can do to Matt Hardy in the ring.
And if he wants to go toe-to-toe with me for Lita's affection,
let me tell him one thing.
If a woman has a choice
between experience and inexperience, she will pick experience
any time, any day.
Yeah, did you hear that, Matt?
[music continues and fades]
Hardy Boyz,
as we embark on a new year,
the only mystery you will be solving
is how to escape from the shackles of defeat.
[laughs]
Indeed.
[JR] Oh, for the love of…
[Lawler] I wait to see Godzilla come through the curtain after these guys.
[JR] We got a tag team--I don't know--
Why are you lusting, Mr. Malenko, after Lita,
-[bell dings] -when you're a married man?
[Dean] Wait, hold on one second, Mr. Ross.
I don't know where you're getting your information from.
[JR] On television. I saw it.
[Dean] In my family, my wife is married.
-Come on, come on. -[Dean] Not me.
[Lawler] Yeah.
[JR] You got an open marriage, huh? At least halfway.
I saw you in bed with Lita with your socks on.
I saw it on television.
[Dean] I'll tell you one thing.
I've never seen a woman in my life like Lita.
-Ah! -[bangs]
[Lawler] She's babe-alicious all right.
You'd like to do parallel partnering with her. [laughs]
But you mean--you think Matt's got the same ideas?
-[bangs] -[JR] He's not married.
[Lawler] I know, I always thought he was going to be a little am/fm.
You think he's got the hots for Lita?
[Dean] Just by his gestures…
-[JR] Here we go. Cover. -[Dean] As of late.
But if he's smart, he'd stay away from my girl.
[JR] Oh, your girl?
Because, was it like a uncle-niece relationship here?
-[Lawler] JR, please. -[JR] Those May-December things?
[Lawler] See, you know what, JR's jealous of you, Dean.
That's the last time he felt the press was in a KFC box.
This guy is a chick magnet.
Oh, look who's…
-[JR] He's the… -Yeah!
[JR] Taka sounds different on the microphone
than he did there, amazing.
-And there's Lita. -[Lawler] Look at her, Dean.
[Dean] I'm looking at her. I can't get my eyes off her.
That shoulder tattoo is hot, isn't it?
[JR] Looks like an old Malenko with matching tattoos…
[screaming] Yeah!
[JR] A nice takedown by Taka Michinoku.
[Lawler] Oh, look at this. I love this move. Oh!
[JR] Springboard moonsault and now the dropkick
and Jeff Hardy finds himself in a very precarious position.
[crowd cheering]
[JR] Speaking of positions…
-[bangs] Ah! -[Lawler] Oh, boy!
[Dean] I'll tell you one thing,
there's a lot of WWE beautiful women here,
but only one can have a man…
to sit next to.
[JR] The Hardys are looking over their shoulder
with all these Radicalz out here.
They've got their hands full now, time tie.
You'd have to score the big upset here on New Year's night.
[Lawler] Tell you something, Dean. JR here thinks that…
Lita doesn't want to have anything to do with you.
I think she's playing hard to get.
[Dean] I like that in women.
Speaking of The Radicalz,
-I got Terri and Perry here. -Oh.
And we're waiting when this match gets done.
Me, Lita, Terri, Perry, are gonna go hit the town tonight
-on a good double date. -[Lawler] Really?
[JR] A double date.
Come on. Let go the head, go.
[JR laughing] Thrills and chills, you know what I mean?
[Matt] Just admit why you here.
You're gonna get involved in this match.
What?
The only thing I wanna get involved right now is
with the lady by ringside.
[Lawler] Oh, man.
[JR] Matt Hardy taking Taka Michinoku over the top.
-Ah! -[JR] And now planting…
-Yeah! -[JR] Sho Funaki.
[crowd cheering]
[JR] And The Hardys back in the driver seat…
-[shouts] -[JR] In this tag team matchup.
-[Dean] You see Lita waving at me? -[Lawler] Yeah.
-She is waving at you. -[Dean] You guys are hallucinating.
[shouts]
-[JR] Wolf is right. -[Lawler] Oh, look at that.
[JR] Nice move by Taka, taking Matt out of the game, momentarily.
And Jeff Hardy's back in. There's a cover!
Oh my God, almost a huge upset.
[Lawler] See, JR, you don't realize that all women wanna have sex.
They just don't wanna have sex with you. But, that's a different story.
[JR] I get the impression all hell's gonna break loose
with these Radicalz here any moment.
-[crowd gasps] -[JR] Oh, my God.
Jeff Hardy over the top rope,
taking a high risk there.
[Lawler] It absolutely did not pay off.
[JR] Right, it backfired big time.
[Lawler] Twist of fate is somehow, someway Jeff Hardy.
My God, he's got nine lives.
He's on the top.
[Lawler] How does he keep doing this?
[Dean] Isn't it a twist of fate that me and Lita got together
-after all this time? -[Lawler] Look!
-[JR] The Hardys win it. -[bell dings]
[announcer] Here are your winners, The Hardy Boyz.
[Lawler] Hey, look at this.
This just tells "My lady wants me." I got to go.
Look, JR, she does want him.
-Oh, yeah, she wants him, all right. -Eat your words, JR. Look, she… [laughs]
-Oh, hey! -And Matt Hardy…
-And there's Perry Saturn. -Look out!
And Jeff Hardy right through the ropes. My God!
Be careful, Terri.
[screaming] Look out! Look at Lita!
Lita taking down Terri.
[JR] The Hardys, due to number of The Radicalz here…
[Lawler] Perry, did you see that? Lita just brought Terri down.
And the slob, Dean Malenko,
got what he had coming to him.
[Lawler] What?
Look at Terri, she's livid.
Look at Lita.
[JR] All The Hardys did was beat The Radicalz to the punch.
The Radicalz's plan, in my view, just backfired, right in their face.
-Oh, my. -[Lawler] Speaking of fire.
-[Lawler exclaims] -[JR] A face, a scarred face,
but he wants to be WWE champion.
-Kane and The Rock. -[crowd cheering]
[JR] Oh, my God. This is the main event you've got to see.
Coming up next.
[JR] It's all about the WWE title,
and earlier tonight, The Undertaker and Rikishi
going one-on-one.
And The Undertaker, King, couldn't use his last ride,
but he could a use a huge DDT
to put down Rikishi.
And that lets The Undertaker move to SmackDown
Thursday night in a triple threat match
to determine the No. 1 contender for the WWE title.
But will it be The Rock and Kane
who will meet a heartbeat away from now?
Or will it be the winner
of the Stone Cold William Regal match?
And who in the hell
will Stephanie McMahon appoint as a special referee?
I don't like it.
[Lawler] I like it. I think it's gonna be great.
I got a nice--
["Out of the Fire" playing]
[Lawler] Uh-oh.
[JR] Well, we saw Kane demonstrate his dominance
last Thursday night on UPN SmackDown.
He threw The Rock
with a thunderous chokeslam.
With as much impact on The Rock's lower back,
as I have ever witnessed.
Oh, it's gonna get hot.
Here on--
[Lawler] Ah!
[JR] What a way to start off the new year
with the Big Red Machine.
[Lawler] This is scary, JR.
This is really scary.
♪ Can you smell ♪
♪ What The Rocks is cooking ♪
-[JR] And here comes The Rock. -[Lawler] Hey, look out.
[JR] He's running to the ring.
-[crowd cheering] -[bell dings]
[JR] The Rock and Kane.
One-on-one here.
[Lawler] The Rock is not wasting any time,
he wants to lay a SmackDown on Kane right off the bat.
-[JR] Sudden impact by The Rock. -[Lawler] No.
[JR] He went airborne taking The Big Red Machine down.
But Kane is right back up.
[Lawler] Oh, my gosh.
[JR] And Kane…
-Oh, sidewalk slam! -[The Rock gasps]
That injured lower back of The Rock.
And up in The Rock's face, the pain is still on the--
-on the face of the people's champion. -[The Rock groans]
[Lawler] You think, JR, that was The Rock's game plan,
to try to end this quickly, before
before Κane can realize that he's back 100%?
[JR] Absolutely.
God knows he's not at 100%
And Kane, I think, knows that as well.
Look at Kane with a cunning, three-line forearm
right to the lower back,
near the kidneys of The Rock.
[Lawler] If Kane didn't know it, he sure knows it now.
[JR] Remember, the winner of this match,
and the winner of the Austin-Regal Match, still to come,
will meet The Undertaker in a triple threat contest
-this Thursday night on SmackDown. -[Lawler] Look out.
[JR] The winner of that will be the No. 1 contender
-right back here, one week from tonight. -[Dean] Hey.
[JR] There he is, the American Badass, The Undertaker.
-[Lawler] He's in already. -[JR] He's, he's going to SmackDown
-in a triple threat matchup. -[Lawler screams]
[JR] Who will his opponents be?
We'll find out one of them during this contest.
[Lawler] Look at The Rock. He's holding those--his ribs.
He's holding his back. He's hurting, JR.
[JR] The Rock buying himself some time here.
But now, right back out in the face of Kane.
[Lawler] I don't if that was a smart move. He should have stayed in the ring.
[JR] Lay back.
Just a little bit.
There's gotta be a winner in this matchup.
He's way out of his depth
and Kane, shoving his shoulder right in The Rock's sternum
and then driving them off right back into the railing,
where his lower back was punished again.
[Lawler] Will The Rock believe it or not…
[Lawler] Oh, my God.
[JR] What a right hand
by Kane, the uppercut
looking for The Rock, all the way into the aisle
to the concrete.
[Lawler] The ring would be the safest place to be right now
because what he's got out there is concrete and steel.
-[woman screaming] Oh, my God! -[Lawler] Gosh. Not on the floor!
[JR] Kane has got Rock up.
[Lawler] Yeah.
[JR] And a body slam right on the concrete.
And if that doesn't destroy The Rock's lower back,
nothing will.
[Lawler] That's it.
[JR] The referee might wanna consider stopping this thing right here and now.
[both screaming]
[Lawler] I can't believe he's let this thing go on like this.
[JR] Oh, it's not important, King. You know that as well as I do.
-[Lawler] Right. -[JR] It's all about the WWE title.
And The Rock is gonna have to reach down
to places perhaps he has never been before,
to stay on this…
[crowd chanting]
[Lawler] Come on, Rock.
You got to remember your New Year's resolution.
You got to become, he's--he said…
His resolved that he's gonna become the WWE champion 2001.
[JR] Now, The Rock is barely able to stand.
-He's coming back up. -[crowd cheering]
[JR] Well, The Rock is in no condition, in my view, to compete.
Rikishi last week,
-did the number on… -[Lawler] Oh, no.
-[JR] On Rock. -[Lawler] What a welcoming committee.
-Oh, my Gosh. -[JR] Look at that big…
A big blast right on the chest of 423 pounds.
Now, on more than one occasion.
So, Rock comes in with a bruised sternum
and then the bad back, thanks to Kane.
[Lawler] We saw the effect earlier on The Undertaker that Rikishi had,
with those--with that big Banzai that did the same effect
as being suffered by The Rock here.
[JR] The Big Red Machine.
-He may fly here. -[Lawler] Don't turn around, Rock.
-[JR] Kane have sick… -[Lawler] Real bad--Oh, my Gosh!
[JR] Three hundred and thirty pounds off the top.
That should be all.
There's no way--
Oh, my God. The Rock got his right shoulder up.
How in the hell did the people's champion…
how did he--how did he survive that?
[Lawler] I don't know…
I'm a little concerned about the officiating here now.
[JR] I don't think we have to worry about officiating.
I think this match ain't about officiating.
This match is about survival.
[Lawler] You're worried about the officiating in the match
between Stone Cold and Regal.
[JR] You know what, that thing is set up, in my view.
-Stephanie… She's… -[Lawler] What you mean?
-[JR] She's gonna screw… -[Lawler] Let's…You don't know that.
You don't know who the referee is gonna be. It may…
It may be somebody that we've seen tonight or somebody we haven't seen yet.
[JR] Well, I know…
[Lawler] You're just thinking it's gonna be one of Stephanie's friends
one of her close confidants.
-It's not necessary the case. -[JR] The Rock fights back.
The Rock with right hands,
trying to come back with all he's got. And look at Kane, with one arm.
-[Lawler] Oh! -[JR] Kane with one arm and a powerslam.
I've never seen any more power from anybody like that,
and Rock's lower back and his chest have taken a pounding in this matchup.
[Lawler] He can't last much longer.
-His chest, his back. -[The Rock groans]
[JR] Not even The Rock.
As resilient as he is,
as a magnificent specimen as he is,
as an athlete, he's still a human being.
And this human being is being punished as never before
by the Big Red Machine.
[Lawler] Oh!
He was broken down by Rikishi on SmackDown,
and now he's getting finished off.
Maybe he's not being finished off.
[JR] The Rock hitting Kane with everything he's got.
And Kane…
[JR] Oh.
Reaching for a leg, couldn't get it.
-That's the condition he's in. -[Lawler] Look out.
[JR] It's a Samoan drop.
[crowd cheering]
[JR] The Rock has bought himself some time there with a Samoan drop.
[Lawler] They're both down now.
[JR] And referee will have a…
-Four. -[JR] A 10-count for utilize here.
And he is reluctantly counting both of these two big stallions.
[Lawler] The Undertaker's looking on right now.
He's concerned.
He's wondering who he's gonna face.
[JR] And Kane, the first man, I think.
Yes, Kane back to his feet first.
And The Rock up to a knee.
He struggles to his feet. Oh.
[JR] The Rock scores with a right hand.
And another right hand.
The Rock has Kane reeling now.
[Lawler] I can't believe it, The Rock has still got smack to lay down.
-[JR] Oh. -[Lawler] Wait a minute, he got him.
[JR] A DDT.
The Rock did a DDT.
The Undertaker--Oh my.
The Undertaker did it with Rikishi earlier.
[Lawler] You know, speaking of The Undertaker,
I think between them-- Oh!
-[JR] Wow! -[Lawler] Between The Rock and Kane,
Undertaker probably doesn't give a damn which one he faces.
[JR] Absolutely not.
[JR] Uh-oh.
[Lawler] Look!
[JR] The Rock countered, belly-to-belly suplex.
There's the hook to the leg,
but you can see The Rock, he couldn't pull back on that leg.
The Rock didn't have any--
He didn't have the strength any-- to pull back on the leg, King.
[Lawler] I was amazed The Rock has the strength to lift Kane--Oh!
That's it.
[JR] Kane just dimming The Rock's lights big time with that.
[Lawler] Wait a minute. Look at this.
[JR] What is he doing out here? our WWE champion, Kurt Angle.
[Lawler] He's coming down to scout this match.
I mean, this is an important match to Kurt Angle.
He's the WWE champion. One of these two guys…
[JR] I bet he would make a good referee.
-[Lawler] You think? -[JR] Sure he would.
Very impartial.
-[Lawler] Well, maybe, but… -[JR] This special referee stuff stinks.
[Lawler] Look out!
[JR] And a-
A clothesline taking The Rock to the outside
allowing him to land on his feet.
-Hey, hey. -[JR] How convenient is that?
[Lawler] Kurt's helping The Rock up. [screaming] Wait a minute.
[JR] Angle trying to cheap shot, The Rock beating him to the punch.
-[Lawler screaming] No! -[JR] Rock bottom. Rock bottom.
[Lawler] Our champion, Rock,
has been rock bottomed right on the floor.
[JR] And that took a hell out of The Rock.
How much has he got left for Kane?
Kurt Angle got too close, tried to cheap shot,
and The Rock had spent a lot of energy and strength
with the rock bottom, King, to the outside.
[Lawler] What do you mean cheap shot?
[JR] Oh, spinebuster!
[crowd cheering]
That's the way I saw it.
[Lawler] You always see the glass half empty.
You're so negative.
I saw Kurt trying to help The Rock up.
[JR] You need glasses.
-[Lawler] Uh-oh. -[JR] The Rock…
[Lawler] We're about to see it.
Yeah!
The Rock still got it left, don't he?
He's got enough to deliver
the most electrifying move in sports entertainment.
-The people… -[JR] Ah! And it's all…
-My God, the monster lives. -[Lawler] What?
[JR] But The Rock frees himself
and comes back to rise.
Then laid the Smackdown on Kane, who landed on his feet.
-[Dean] This is unbelievable. -[JR] What a matchup.
What a matchup here of the…
[Lawler] One of these guys out--Whoa!
[JR] Kane knocked onto the steel grating.
[crowd chatter]
[Lawler] He's taken everything The Rock has got in him, but
somehow, he's hanging on.
[JR] The Rock has suffered tremendously here.
-Thanks to Rikishi… -[Lawler] Oh!
[JR] Damn! That Angle.
[Lawler] Okay. Turnover.
Trying to hit Rock with the WWE title belt,
right in the back of the damn head.
[crowd chattering]
[JR] That is not right, King.
You can't justify that being-- Oh, my God.
-[Lawler] You're right. -[JR] My God!
[Lawler] It was a retaliation.
[JR] Deep carnage. The chokeslam.
For the love of God, I can't…
-This is not right. Kane. -[bell dings]
["Out of the Fire" playing]
[announcer] Here is your winner.
Kane.
[JR] The Rock knocked out by the WWE title belt
at the hands of Kurt Angle,
and Kane has defeated The Rock.
[Lawler] We've got two of our…
Two of our competitors in the triple threat match,
Kane and The Undertaker.
[JR] But who will be next?
Folks, we are back,
and look at Kurt Angle running like a scalded dog
out of the arena here in Austin, after screwing The Rock
-in the Rock's matchup with Kane. -[man] Unlock the door.
Come on, Kurt.
Come on, the door. Come on.
[JR] Look who's waiting for Angle.
Edge and Christian. This was a setup.
Come on. Let's go.
[JR] This whole damn thing stinks.
-It was a setup. -[engine revs]
[JR] No doubt about it.
Let's take you back to just moments ago.
The Rock taking Kane back in the ring and then, from behind, boom!
Here comes Kurt Angle.
[Lawler] JR, you're trying to make this sound like it was premeditated.
-[JR] It was. -[Lawler] Some scheme between Angle,
and even involving Edge and Christian?
[JR] And Kane, in my view.
And Kane put The Rock down.
The Rock would get knocked out of the WWE title match.
It had to be premeditated.
And Angle ran out of here like a scalded dog.
That's what I saw.
Oh, that's the way you see everything, JR.
I can't agree. I don't believe it was premeditated.
I know one thing,
here next Monday night, Kurt Angle is defending the title
against the winner of the triple threat match.
That match will be held this Thursday night on SmackDown.
Will it be Austin or Regal? We're about to find out--
["Regality" playing]
[JR] Kane and The Undertaker are in the triple threat match
Thursday night.
[bell dings]
[announcer] The following contest is scheduled for one fall.
Making his way to the ring,
United Kingdom's goodwill ambassador
and the World Wrestling Entertainment European champion,
William Regal.
[Lawler] I will admit one thing, he's got… Still got a big smile on his face.
[JR] We saw it coming out Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley's locker room,
and we heard about the…
that she's gonna name a special guest referee.
He likes it. He knows who it is.
Why can't everybody else know?
[Lawler] I think we won't wait very long to find out.
[JR] It smells like raw fish, a stinky…
-[music stops] -[crowd boing]
The only way
that "Stone Cold" Steve Austin
can continue his quest
to become WWE champion
is through me, William Regal.
And being your goodwill ambassador,
I must say that "Stone Cold" Steve Austin
cannot comprehend the complexities of his miserable life,
let alone the complexities of becoming WWE champion.
So I have decided to put a stop to this nonsense.
This toe rag on your fellow Texan,
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin…
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] A toe rag?
Douses himself in beer after beer,
making himself a gluttonous slob in front of millions.
I ask you, is that a champion?
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] What do they know?
We're in Texas, you know.
I will no longer tolerate his nonsense.
[crowd booing]
The man is out of control.
[crowd booing]
[crowd jeering]
[JR] William Regal's been besmirched.
[Lawler] Good.
[JR] What?
Now, knowing that the man cannot play by the rules,
and knowing that I will not let
him besmirch the likes of me or you ever again…
[JR] Thank you.
I would like to introduce to you
our very special guest referee for this evening.
[Lawler] Here we go.
Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley.
-[JR] You got to be kidding me. -[Lawler] What?
[JR] What the hell? I don't believe this.
-[Lawler] Wait a minute. -[JR] What… this is not right.
And I told you, this is a whole setup.
This is for Austin to go down, King.
[Lawler] Oh, man. Wait a minute, JR.
What's not right about this?
You don't think she can referee because…
-It's not right because she's a woman? -[JR] No.
[Lawler] Is she not capable of being a referee because she's a female?
[JR] Of course not.
[Lawler] Because you're a male chauvinist pig?
-[JR] No, it isn't. -[Lawler] What then?
[JR] She has no experience,
and by God, she's a McMahon,
and we know what Austin and McMahon's relationship.
It runs deep, you know that as well as I do.
[Lawler] I know one thing. She got her blouse ripped off earlier, but
that referee shirt looks pretty good on her.
[JR] Well, Austin has got a hell of an uphill battle here.
Can the Rattlesnake overcome
what looks to be a stacked deck
in a high-stakes matchup?
We're gonna find out next.
[JR] We wanna wish our fire commissioner Happy New Year.
Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley still in the ring.
She's gonna be the…
The referee. I can't believe it.
[Lawler] You thought it was great when
Mick Foley would pull some little trick like that,
but not for Stephanie, huh?
[JR] She's not qualified.
[Lawler] Well, 1-800-COLLECT presents the WWE Royal Rumble.
1-800-COLLECT, the easy way to save.
The Royal Rumble will be live in three weeks,
Sunday, January 21st
from the New Orleans Arena in New Orleans, Louisiana.
[JR] Kane and The Undertaker have made this event a triple threat match.
-Who's next? -["I Won't Do What You Tell Me" playing]
[JR] The Rattlesnake or Regal?
[announcer] Introducing his opponent,
from Victoria, Texas,
weighing in at 258 pounds,
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
[JR] I'd love to hear that Stephanie knows what she's dealing with
with "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, King.
[Lawler] Believe me, she knows exactly what she's dealing with.
[JR] The winner advances to SmackDown
this Thursday on UPN
versus The Undertaker and Kane
in a triple threat match to determine…
-[Lawler] Here we go. -[JR] God.
He'll meet Kurt Angle here one week from tonight.
Austin's always talked about,
all he's dreaming about,
his objected WWE championship.
Look at those fists and the right hands like a jackhammer
in the face of William Regal.
[Lawler] Be careful, Stephanie. be careful.
[JR] She's got to be careful with Austin, I could tell you.
[Lawler] I don't think he'd have the audacity to touch her.
Sure, he'd pour beer on her head.
Sure, he'd pour mustard on her and rip her blouse off.
He wouldn't lay a finger on her.
[JR] I don't know. I wouldn't want to guarantee that.
That depends on how he's provoked, and he's easily provoked,
especially when it comes to talking about the WWE title.
[Lawler] Uh-oh, look out.
She may have to disqualify the Rattlesnake.
[JR] You think so?
-One, two, three, four. -[JR] Look at this.
-Five. -[JR] Austin's got to break
before the five, or he's gonna got disqualified.
That's not gonna get him where he wants to go.
I hand it to her, she was in good position there.
[Lawler] Look at Austin.
Think he's holding a grudge
because Stephanie made him sell hotdogs and beer?
[JR] How would you feel if someone made you do that?
[Lawler] Listen to these people.
[JR] Regal, the left hands scoring on The Rattlesnake
here in Austin, Texas, on New Year's night.
[Lawler] Oh, look out.
[JR] I tell you what, UPN SmackDown is gonna be awesome on Thursday.
[Lawler] Wait a minute. Watch it, watch out.
[JR] Austin on the outside here.
-[Lawler] Stephanie could count him out. -[JR] Austin ignoring referee's commands.
And now Regal pays for it, face first into the steel steps.
[Lawler] Stephanie, be careful, Stephanie.
-Watch yourself. Look out. -[JR] Look out.
[JR] God.
William just-- his head bouncing off our table.
[Lawler] He's been besmirched.
[JR] He's being big time, Texas-sized besmirched.
-[Lawler] Look out. -Off to the right hands.
You can feel those knuckles digging right in the face of Regal.
[Lawler] Look at this.
[JR] Austin making sure he wasn't counted off, possibly.
[Stephanie] Keep it in the ring, Austin!
[JR] Austin back in the ring.
[crowd cheering]
-[JR] Austin. -[Lawler] I think he's…
[JR] Austin has an evil smirk in his face.
[Lawler] Spitting in the face of the…
[JR] Exactly. Oh!
Austin is…
is literally dissecting William Regal here.
[Lawler] Stephanie, you have to show this Rattlesnake you're the dominant female.
[JR] Austin wanting that triple threat matchup
on Thursday night SmackDown.
[Lawler] She told Austin to keep in the ring. Look what he's doing.
[Lawler exclaims]
[JR] Stephanie's number one in Austin's book.
[Lawler] That's not what that meant.
Please.
[JR] Austin again.
He's walking a tight wire here.
Because you know that Stephanie will--
She'll disqualify Austin at the drop of a hat,
if she's so inclined.
[Lawler] Look at him, he's smart.
He knows not to let her get up to 10 or he'll be history.
He won't be in any triple threat. He won't have a shot at the WWE title.
[JR] Austin in full control. Nice suplex.
Taking down William Regal.
[crowd cheering]
[JR] Stone Cold on his way to California this weekend,
Anaheim and Sacramento.
He'd like to be the No. 1 contender when he gets there.
What a nice takeover by Austin, with a suplex.
And quite frankly, Stephanie has done pretty good job
thus far officiating.
[Lawler] Thank you very much, finally an objective call from you.
[JR] Austin. No, it's over.
There's a counted cover, there is a two, and…
[Lawler] No! There's something in her eye.
-[JR] Oh, but give me a break. -[Lawler] She's got something in her eye.
[JR] That is the biggest crock-up.
[Lawler] That pyro stuff that's flying around here,
it gets into my eye over here.
-[JR] Austin with two suplexes. -[Lawler] Paramedics.
[JR] Could have won the match right there.
[Lawler] Maybe she lost her contacts.
[crowd cheering]
[JR] She's not wearing…
Maybe there's nothing wrong…
[Lawler screaming] I say it's--oh, my God.
[JR] Austin just shoved Stephanie right outside
and Regal comes back up with a punch to the eye.
[Lawler] What has that Rattlesnake done?
He kicked Stephanie as hard as he could.
[JR] Austin fighting back out the corner
and Regal,
with those left hand and the boots, stomping on the Rattlesnake in the corner.
[Lawler] William Regal--
he'll lay a beating on that ruffian that he deserves.
[JR] Stephanie on the outside. Our referee is outside on the floor.
[Lawler] Stephanie has been besmirched.
She's hurt, JR. Go help her.
[JR] Austin firing back up on Regal.
Here comes another referee.
Senior referee, Earl Hebner is here.
[Lawler] Go help Stephanie, you idiot.
[JR] Look at Austin's stomping. Oh!
Regal's gonna walk into that--
[Lawler] That's not important. Stephanie has something in her eye.
-Oh! -[JR] What a low blow.
What a low blow!
-Regal with a low… -[Lawler] Look out!
[JR] A cheap shot on the referee. What the hell is going on?
Austin got a low blow from Regal.
[Lawler] What's this? Stephanie, are you all right?
[JR] That was a low blow. No doubt about that.
[Lawler] She took a nasty fall when kicked her out of the ring.
[JR] Austin fights back.
The Rattlesnake fighting back, King.
Sending Regal for the ride.
-[Regal groans] -[JR] Spinebuster.
It should be over.
But what is Stephanie doing for God's sakes?
[Lawler] What does Rattlesnake expect?
Does he want her to come and count after he kicked her out of the ring?
-[Lawler] No. -[JR] She needs to do her job.
-[Lawler] Stephanie! -[JR] He did his.
[Lawler] Let her go. Unhand her.
[screams]
[Lawler] Hey, Regal with a roll up.
[Lawler] Whoa. [JR] What a count. that was a fast count.
-[JR] Stephanie just fast-counted Austin. -[Lawler] What?
[JR] And she's running for high ground.
[Lawler] What…
[JR] Damn it, I knew he was gonna…
-Damn it! -[Lawler] Listen, listen.
…of this match,
your European champion,
William Regal.
-["Regality" playing] -[imperceptible]
[JR] My God, this…
Could this be an omen of things to come 2001
for "Stone Cold" Steve Austin?
-[Lawler] Look at the Rattlesnake. -[JR] Austin has been screwed
out of the triple threat match this Thursday night on SmackDown.
And the winner of your match,
Steven Regal.
And
and the loser,
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
[JR] My God.
I don't know…
I don't know. Austin warned Stephanie, King.
Austin warned Stephanie.
Stephanie…
My God. I don't think Stephanie has no idea.
She's got no idea what she has done here tonight.
[Lawler] I agree.
This is gonna be bad.
[JR] Stone Cold warned her
that he would make 2001 the worst year of her life.
Austin just got screwed by
an incompetent,
partial referee,
from where I sit.
[Lawler] My God.
-[JR] And Regal. -[Lawler] Uh-oh.
[JR] Left to the ring in the hands of the Rattlesnake here.
[crowd chattering]
[JR] Austin for the belt.
The Rattlesnake may strike Regal right here.
[Lawler] Oh!
-[JR] The stunner. -["I Won't Do What You Tell Me" playing]
[JR] But the bottom line, King,
the bottom line on New Year's night,
that Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley truly realize
what she has done.
She has provoked the Rattlesnake.
He is over the line. Rattlesnake.