["Thorn in Your Eye" playing]
♪ It's my life in a box And charred to beat! ♪
♪ Taking chalk in my arms It's the soul of me! ♪
♪ You want fire Ashes see me laying face down ♪
♪ What has caught the thorn in your eye? ♪
[crowd cheering]
[Ross] It is alive and electric in the Cajundome
and coming up is Royal Rumble in the bayou.
I'm Jim Ross alongside Jerry "The King" Lawler.
And we welcome you to Raw here on TNN.
The fans of WWE New York are ready for our main event,
ladies and gentlemen, that has been signed.
And King, this is gonna be a big one tonight.
[Lawler] Unbelievable. You see it right there,
Y2J teaming with The Rock,
and they've got Chris Benoit and the returning Big Show. Uh-oh!
[Ross] Chris Jericho, the new Intercontinental Champion
and The Rock against Benoit.
And yes, the 500-pound returning Big Show here tonight.
["The Game" playing]
[Lawler] Uh-oh.
[Ross] But all of this is nonsense…
in the Triple H family, I can guarantee you.
And here comes The Game and his bride.
And thanks to "Stone Cold" Steve Austin,
Triple H came up short
in a bid to win the WWE title at the Royal Rumble.
[Lawler] Oh.
To say that that man is not happy is an understatement.
Look what he's carrying, JR.
[Ross] A sledgehammer.
The Game, who is not scheduled to be in action here tonight,
has been in a horrible, miserable mood all night long.
It looked as if The Game was going to become the WWE Champion
if it had not been for that Texas Rattlesnake.
[Lawler] You got that right.
The Rattlesnake screwed Triple H out of the title
last night in the Royal Rumble.
You're right. He's been in a bad, bad mood.
You'd rather have your hemorrhoid removed with a soldering iron
than be in the same room with that man today.
[Ross] The expression on The Game's face,
I think, tells the story better than we can.
-[music crescendoes] -[Lawler exclaims]
[crowd exclaiming]
[Ross] This huge crowd here in the Cajundome…
voicing their disapproval
and some approval for The Game, King.
[Lawler] I can assure you that The Game
had envisioned himself standing on that turnbuckle,
holding up the World Wrestling Entertainment Championship
right now instead of that sledgehammer.
Uh-oh. What's he gonna do with that sledgehammer, JR?
[Ross] And I'm starting to think…
We know what The Game is capable of.
He is as dangerous and accomplished competitor
that has ever set foot in this very ring.
We all know that.
But he is obsessed with the WWE title.
But it is not his.
It still remains around the waist of Kurt Angle.
[crowd booing]
[Lawler] Well, you can feel his mood, JR,
and I hope these people don't antagonize him
any worse than it already is.
You know, usually, there's nothing that I hate more
than coming to some
little hole-in-the-wall piece-of-crap town like this.
-[crowd booing] -[Lawler] Uh-oh.
I mean, I go out of my way to make sure
I can go in, kick somebody's ass,
and get the hell out.
But tonight… tonight is a little bit different
because the fact of the matter is,
I've been looking forward to this town for a long time.
[Lawler] But why?
[Ross] What do you mean?
[crowd chanting] Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!
[Lawler] You don't think he looked forward to coming here
and having these people call him that? Another lower-anatomy chant.
[crowd chanting] Asshole! Asshole!
[Lawler] I assure you that's the last thing Triple H wants to hear
after what happened to him last night at the Royal Rumble.
I've been looking forward to this town
because this was supposed to be my night.
You see, I was supposed to be standing right here
in the middle of this ring.
And I was supposed to be holding
the World Wrestling Entertainment Championship belt
above my head.
[Lawler] I knew it.
Tonight was my night.
I would have been the champion.
But one man…
and one man alone prevented that from happening.
[Lawler] It was Stone Cold.
And it sure as hell wasn't Kurt Angle.
[crowd chanting] Austin! Austin!
[Ross] Triple H not giving much respect to Kurt Angle, is he?
[Lawler] Well, these people know who cost him the title.
-[chanting continues] -[Ross] Triple H is a bitter man, King.
[Lawler] That Austin chant going up.
[Ross] A bitter man.
You're damn right.
It was that piece of crap, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
[Ross] And The Cerebral Assassin is letting his feelings be known.
You see, last night, it was mine.
Last night, the World Wrestling Entertainment Championship
was in my hand.
Kurt Angle was unconscious in the middle of the ring.
And then "Stone Cold" Steve Austin screwed me!
-[crowd cheering] -[Lawler] He's got a point there, JR.
Austin had no business interfering in that match.
[Ross] And now, Triple H knows how it feels.
-[Lawler] What do you mean by that? -Well, I'm tired of it.
I'm tired of all of it.
I'm tired of all the games.
I'm tired of all the back and forth.
I am sick and tired of "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
[Ross] And he's tired of you, pal.
So I'll tell you how it's gonna be.
As soon as "Stone Cold" Steve Austin arrives in this building…
[Lawler] Uh-oh.
Austin's not even here yet.
Oh, my gosh.
[Ross] Man, look at that weapon.
That is an ominous weapon.
I… will be waiting.
[Ross] That ain't… that's not right, King.
That's not right.
[Lawler] It may not be right, but I'm afraid it's gonna happen.
[Ross] Triple H almost ended Austin's livelihood once.
It could happen again tonight, and I knew it was--
[Lawler] I guess you'll get on the phone
and call Triple H and warn him, huh? You just stay right here, JR.
-You don't need to call Austin… -Go ahead.
Make me madder than I already am.
[Lawler] Yeah, please don't.
Because the fact of the matter is when Austin arrives in this building…
I am going to split his head open with this sledgehammer.
-[crowd booing] -[Lawler] Uh-oh.
Stone Cold, I'm gonna make it real simple for you.
Because you're gonna see it coming.
You're gonna know where it's gonna come from.
You're gonna know when it's gonna come.
Austin…
I will have my night.
It might not be standing in this ring,
holding the World Wrestling Entertainment Championship
above my head.
But tonight, my moment will be standing
over your bloody beaten ass.
[Ross] And he means every word of it.
-He means everything he's saying. -[Lawler] Yes, he does.
That's not a pretty sight.
-["Medal" playing] -[Lawler] Wait a minute.
[Ross] Now this is not "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
I'm not even sure The Rattlesnake's gonna be here tonight.
He may still be celebrating his Royal Rumble victory,
but here's the WWE champion, Kurt Angle.
[Lawler] Oh, look at Stephanie.
Remember when…
Triple H…
maybe your name should be Triple W…
for… [mimics whining]
-[Lawler] Uh-oh. -[crowd cheering]
[Ross] And I would not provoke Triple H tonight if I were you, Kurt.
[mimicking Triple H] "If it wasn't for Stone Cold,
I'd be champion."
"This was supposed to be my night."
[in normal voice] Well, let me clarify something for you, pal.
There's only one person who cost you that title.
-Me. -[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] Well…
-he may have a point there, JR. -In case you didn't know, Triple H,
Stone Cold didn't cover your prone body for the one, two, three.
It was your Olympic Hero.
[Lawler] That's true, it's true.
I won that match.
My hand was raised. Not yours, mine.
I mean, Triple H,
what do I have to do to finally get some respect around here?
And you know something?
It's not my fault that Austin,
and the rest of the world for that matter, hates you so much.
-[crowd cheering] -[Lawler] Wow.
[imperceptible]
Maybe if you spent a little less time crying over spilt milk
and a little more time drinking it like me,
you'd finally be a winner.
[Lawler] Yeah, that is true.
It's true.
-Milk makes strong bones. -[Triple H] You know, Kurt…
that's real cute.
You're a funny guy.
Problem is, tonight, I don't have a very good sense of humor.
So why don't you walk down that ramp and come in this ring
and let me tee off on your head for a couple of minutes?
-[Lawler] With a hammer? -[Ross] Good Lord.
Oh, big man with the sledgehammer, huh?
Triple H…
Why is it that every time you beat someone,
it's because of some foreign object?
You know, running someone over with a car,
using a steel pipe,
a sledgehammer.
Can't you beat someone on just, say, natural ability?
[Ross] Wow.
-[Lawler] There's a question for you. -[Ross] Man…
You want natural ability?
Fine.
I'll tell you what.
After I get done out back,
splitting Austin's head open with this sledgehammer…
I'll put the sledgehammer down.
And then if you're a man,
you'll walk down that ramp
and I'll kick your ass for that World Wrestling Entertainment Championship
like I did last night.
[crowd cheering, booing]
[Ross] A challenge.
[Kurt] You want to take my title?
I'll tell you what, Triple H…
that's fine with me.
Because I'll beat you again. Consider it done, Monkey Boy.
[Lawler] "Monkey Boy?"
[Ross] The WWE title…
Angle's accepted Triple H's challenge and…
-[upbeat pop music playing] -[Lawler] Oh. Uh-oh.
Oh-ho!
[Ross] And there is Trish Stratus…
[Lawler] Oh, look at the look on Stephanie's face.
Hold on there, Kurt.
You know, if we're all gonna come out here and issue challenges…
well, I got one of my own.
[Lawler] Oh, boy. Woohoo!
Stephanie, you know…
I tried to be nice.
We could have been the very best of friends.
But since that's not what you wanted…
why don't you follow your husband's lead
and face me?
[Lawler] What? She wants to fight Stephanie?
[Ross] Trish is challenging Stephanie tonight?
One-on-one tonight.
[Ross] Oh, my God.
[Lawler] Look, Stephanie's licking her chops.
[laughing] Oh, boy.
[Stephanie] You know, Trish…
[crowd chanting indistinctly]
[Lawler] Wait. Who are they talking to here?
Trish, you seem to wanna get your hands on a McMahon so badly…
[Lawler] Uh-oh.
…well, then I'm more than happy to oblige you.
-[Lawler] Oh, boy! -[Ross] That's all this sounds like.
But, Trish, consider this.
The next spanking you get…
-[Lawler] Uh-oh! -…will be my open hand
across your pretty little face.
[Lawler] Oh, man. Don't forget her butt, spank her butt. Woohoo!
And now, Trish, it's no secret that you're a bitch.
-[Lawler] What? -[crowd booing]
-[Lawler] JR! Did you hear that? -[imperceptible]
But tonight…
in this very ring…
you're gonna be my bitch.
-[all exclaiming] -[Ross] My God.
[Lawler laughing]
[Ross] Kurt Angle and The Game for the WWE title,
and Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley and Trish one-on-one.
What a way to start a ruckus, lawless night on Raw.
[Lawler] Oh, my God, JR, look at the look on Stephanie's face.
[Ross] The fireworks coming early here tonight on Raw.
-[Lawler] Hey, wait a minute. -[Ross] I think that's…
I think that could be Stone Cold perhaps.
[Lawler] Not in a limo, Stone Cold don't ride limos.
Maybe it's… Maybe it's Drew Carey. Ha!
-Uh-oh. -[Ross] It's Mr. McMahon!
Mr. McMahon just got here.
What's he gonna do when he finds out about these matches tonight?
[Lawler] Oh, my gosh. Wait till he hears about Trish and Stephanie.
Woohoo!
Mr. McMahon, excuse me, Mr. McMahon.
I'd just like to get your thoughts on the two huge matches…
-Yeah. -…that have been set up.
I was just informed of these two huge matches you call them, all right?
Trish has challenged my daughter Stephanie. [scoffs]
Kurt Angle on his own has decided to defend
the WWE Championship against my son-in-law Triple H.
Last I checked, I'm the boss,
I'm the chairman around here, right?
So, in the interest of fairness,
these matches may happen,
then again, they may not.
[Lawler] Uh-oh.
-[trumpet music playing] -[Ross] Man.
[Lawler] Well, I-I usually agree with Mr. McMahon in the interest of fairness,
everything should be okay, but…
-I liked the sound of those two matches. -[Ross] Me, too!
[bell dinging]
[announcer] The following contest is scheduled for one fall,
and it is for the World Wrestling Entertainment European Championship.
Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 240 pounds,
he is United Kingdom's Goodwill Ambassador,
and the European Champion, William Regal.
[Lawler] Well, JR, tonight,
Raw is brought to you by Weider Sports Nutrition,
a dynamic muscle builder,
packed with protein, carbs, and amino acids to nourish your muscles.
Get Weider, get results.
And by M&M's.
"The milk chocolate melts in your mouth, not in your hand."
And by Chef Boyardee.
Overstuff yourself on Monday nights
with Chef Boyardee Overstuffed, and the WWE.
Mr. Regal…
-[Ross] The European Champion. -[Lawler in British accent] Hello.
-[crowd booing] -Tally-ho!
That dirty, foul, insignificant, miserable little specimen Test
has been a thorn in my side.
Tonight, your Goodwill Ambassador, I apologize to you, my friends,
because I am going to make Test…
feel like he's been hacked up with a bloody hatchet.
[Lawler] Uh-oh.
[Ross] Well, the European title on the line here
between William Regal and the challenger, Test.
[announcer] Introducing the challenger, weighing in at 282 pounds,
Test!
[Ross] And Test not wasting any time.
[bell dinging]
[Ross] And here we go for the European title.
[Lawler] But at least as a sign of goodwill,
William Regal apologized for what he's gonna do before the fact.
[Ross] But right now, he… he should be apologizing to his backside,
because that's where he's spent most of his time.
[Lawler] Speaking of backsides, JR, what about Trish and Stephanie?
-Stephanie's gonna spank her. -[Test grunts]
What about last night at the Royal Rumble? Did you see those two go at it?
-[Ross] Oh, look out here, look out! -[crowd exclaiming]
[Lawler] Don't besmirch him on our announce table, Test.
[Ross] Regal just got molested on our announce table.
[Lawler] He was besmirched.
[Ross] Yeah, last night, Trish and Stephanie,
that was the darndest thing I think I've maybe ever seen
between two women.
[Lawler] Oh-ho! It was great, JR.
Trish slapping Stephanie, Stephanie slapping Trish.
They were dancing all over our announce table.
They were nearly pulling each other's clothes off.
Woohoo, man!
[Ross] And we'll have that go down tonight.
The ladies want it, but what will the chairman of the WWE…
What will his disposition of that be?
[Lawler] I don't know. All of that took place last night. It wasn't even a match.
Imagine what they'd do to each other in a match. Whoo!
[Ross] Man, the European Champion, William Regal,
unable to get out of the box, shall we say.
And Test, he's about 6'6" or 6'7",
has just dominated the European Champion thus far.
And I stress, thus far, and Test on top now.
[Lawler] Oh, look out, Mr. Regal! Oh, my God!
-[Ross] With an elbow from the top. -One, two, three…
-[Lawler] What? -[Ross] The party is over.
-[bell dinging] -We've got a new champion.
-I don't believe it. -[announcer] Here's your winner
and the new World Wrestling Entertainment European Champion,
Test.
[Lawler] Wait, that maybe the quickest besmirching I've ever seen.
[Ross] I can't believe that any man on Earth
can beat William Regal that quick.
[Lawler] Mr. Regal must…
Gotta be something wrong.
[Ross] Regal never got out of the box of this dynamic elbow.
-[Lawler] Look at this! -[Ross] And this huge man
right in the heart of the now former European Champion.
[Lawler] I don't think Mr. Regal ever…
He didn't have one offensive move, did he?
[Ross] Man, Test was on fire.
Maybe we're seeing a sign with the… Uh-oh.
[door closes]
[Triple H] Hey, you and I need to talk.
-The hell you think you're doing? -What do you mean?
I got screwed last night, Vince.
I got screwed out of the World Wrestling Entertainment Championship.
You think I'm going to come here tonight and not get what I deserve?
I've got a match with Kurt Angle, and nobody is taking that away from me.
You understand?
Wait a minute, just cool your jets.
I said I was going to take it under advisement.
I don't appreciate you going out there making your own matches, all right?
So I said I was going to take it under advisement.
"Take it under advisement."
You were out there talking about what's fair.
Yeah, in the interest of fairness.
Oh, I get it. In the interest of fairness.
You wouldn't be thinking in the interest of somebody else's fairness?
Maybe Trish.
What head you thinking with, Vince, huh?
-[Lawler] Oh, man. -Listen…
I said I would take it under advisement. I would.
Get dressed, all right? Get ready for the match, all right?
There's a good chance you're going to get that match,
but let me take it under consideration.
Take it under consideration.
And cool off while you're at it.
[Ross] We're back in the Cajundome here on Raw,
and we have a new European Champion, King, and…
I mean, Test raised his game here tonight.
[Lawler] Listen to this thud.
-[thuds] -[Lawler] Ooh!
[Ross] Right in the heart of William Regal,
and Regal a hell of a competitor.
Look at the emotional Test with the European Championship.
Regal never got out of the box.
[Lawler] Uh-oh, wait a minute.
There's a besmirched William Regal.
[Ross] Well, he's got to keep the old proverbial stiff upper lip.
[Lawler] Got one going now.
["Protection" playing]
[crowd cheering]
[Ross] And if you lack the action… physical…
Get ready.
[Lawler] Oh!
[bell dinging]
[announcer] The following tag-team contest is scheduled for one fall.
Making their way to the ring,
and accompanied by Jacqueline, at a combined weight of 578 pounds.
Faarooq and Bradshaw, The Acolytes.
[Ross] The Acolytes about to take on Matt and Jeff Hardy
and this is the result of what happened last Thursday night on UPS SmackDown.
Six-person tag-team match-up, Swanton by Jeff.
Ooh, on the wrong man.
Jeff Hardy almost got beheaded.
-[Lawler] Almost! -[bell dinging]
I'm telling you, I've never seen a clothesline quite like that.
Hit the Swanton on Faarooq who was not the legal man…
["Loaded" playing]
-…and Bradshaw exploded. -[announcer] Their opponent,
being accompanied by Lita, from Cameron, North Carolina,
at a combined weight of 455 pounds,
Matt and Jeff, The Hardy Boyz.
[Lawler] Well, Matt and Jeff Hardy entered the Royal Rumble last night
in the first and third position.
They ended up eliminating Faarooq.
[Ross] And they also eliminated each other, King.
[Lawler] I know it. That was not smart.
Faarooq came in number four in the Rumble.
[Ross] It's a little… Bradshaw was not…
He wants to have some more.
He come to get him some.
[Ross] And the Hardys eliminating each other,
and, you know, the Hardys hanging around each other during the afternoon.
They kept their distance from each other today,
which leads me to believe that their feathers may be a little bit ruffled…
at each other as a result of the Rumble.
-[Lawler] They're not thinking straight. -[bell dings]
If I were them after that Rumble was over, I'd have tried to make friends
-with The Acolytes. -[Ross] Wait a minute.
Jeff Hardy just tagged himself in.
[Lawler] Already?
[Ross] He certainly did, made the blind tag with his brother,
and now Jeff Hardy and…
Oh, now Bradshaw starting it off here with a…
What a knockdown by Bradshaw.
[Lawler] Did that right.
[Ross] I wanna say hi to our great fans in Clinton, Ohio.
We're going to be there Friday night.
Hope you can be with us, fans, and this Sunday afternoon in Philadelphia…
Sunday afternoon in Philly.
[Lawler] Drew Carey's from Cleveland, ain't he?
[Ross] We're going to have more on Drew Carey.
[Lawler] Oh, man!
[Ross] Drew Carey involved in the Royal Rumble,
-more on that here tonight. -[yells]
[Lawler] Of course, Trish's got a big pay-per-view
coming up this Saturday night.
-Yeah. -[Ross] Oh, look at that catch.
You won't see that in the XFL, there are none.
Ooh! Nice Fallaway Slam by Bradshaw.
Taking down Jeff Hardy, Bradshaw struck the man.
[Lawler] Are we're actually gonna see the footage
of Drew Carey in the Royal Rumble?
-[Ross] I think we might. -[Lawler laughs] That was great.
Oh! Look at poor Jeff.
He's been dropped right on that colorful head of his.
And, JR, speaking of heads,
did you hear Triple H asked Vince McMahon,
which head he was thinking with?
-[Ross] I certainly did. -[Lawler] Oh, my God.
[Ross] That's a son-in-law to his father-in-law.
So much emotion here tonight.
And we're happy you're with us, folks, wherever you may be.
As Jeff Hardy got his feet up.
[Lawler] I know which head I think with.
[Ross] No doubt about that.
[Lawler] What are you talking about? It's right here between my shoulders.
Come on, get up, get up over here.
[Ross] And Bradshaw trying to get in on the action here
-and having been… -[Lawler] Oh!
Actually--
Truthfully, my brain is my second favorite organ.
-[Faarooq grunts] -[Lawler] Uh-oh.
Look at Jacqueline.
What's she doing?
-[Ross] Jacqueline-- -[Lawler] Oh, my gosh.
[Ross] Lita on the outside on Bradshaw.
And Matt and Jeff certainly are not on the same page,
to say the least.
And a shot by… oh, by Bradshaw, Jeff Hardy to the outside.
[Lawler] Got a lot of confusion here on the part of the Hardys.
Lita, you better try to get these two on the same page.
[Ross] Oh, my God.
Tell you what, King.
The stakes of the Royal Rumble that "Stone Cold" Steve Austin somehow won,
the bloody mess that he was, thanks to The Game, quite frankly.
[Lawler] Oh!
[Ross] We're so high on emotion, still cookin' here…
And a near fall by Bradshaw
as Jeff Hardy climbing out of the predicament.
[crowd chanting] Lita! Lita! Lita!
[Lawler] Yeah, Lita, hear these people?
[Ross] Here's the crowd in Cajundome.
-[Lawler] Whoa! -A nice neck breaker by Matt Hardy
-taking down Bradshaw. -Get up!
[Lawler] Oh, I like Lita. Woohoo!
Is her belly button pierced?
-[Ross] How do I know… -[Lawler] Well…
…about all her piercings?
[Lawler] I'll go over and find out for you.
[Ross] I haven't done any research on piercings lately.
[Lawler] That's your problem, JR.
-Oh, my God! -[Ross] What a headbutt by Faarooq.
There's a cover. Could be…
-No, it's not gonna be a… -Count him out. What's wrong with you?
[Ross] Our fans in Washington, DC,
tickets going on sale for Raw on Saturday.
And we invite you to join us. Drop in by the MCI box office.
October, at the MCI Center. Hope you'll be with us live.
[Lawler] I heard those tickets are almost gone.
You better hurry if you want tickets to the MCI Center.
[Ross] And there's a cover by Bradshaw.
And got another near fall, keeping the pressure on Matt Hardy.
Well, I don't want to read more into this Matt and Jeff Hardy thing than there is,
but certainly, they both had early numbers in the Rumble as documented.
They did eliminate Faarooq from the Rumble.
[Lawler] And wound up facing themselves, each other rather. Oh!
[Ross] They both went over the top rope.
And both lucky to have survived that from where I was sitting.
[Lawler] Let's see your belly button, Lita.
[Ross] Are you a navel man?
[Lawler] No, army.
Uh-oh.
-Whoa! -[Ross] Jeff Hardy…
-[Lawler exclaims] -[Ross] Nice DDT on Faarooq.
And I cannot believe-- Don't forget The Rock
will join forces with the new Intercontinental Champion
Chris Jericho against Chris Benoit…
-[Lawler] Yes! -[Ross] …and returning 500-pound Big Show
here tonight.
[Lawler] What a surprise that was to see The Big Show show up
on the Royal Rumble last night.
[Ross] Nice teamwork by the Hardys.
And now double-teaming Bradshaw as he came in.
[Lawler] Speaking of surprises at the Royal Rumble,
what about The Honky Tonk Man showing up? That was great.
[Ross] Yeah, The Hawk too.
Uh-oh, look out.
[Lawler] Man, did you see that?
[Ross] Faarooq is the legal man here.
[Lawler] They knocked Bradshaw out of the ring, and it just made him mad.
[Ross] The Hardys giving up a lot of power and strength to the APA.
Of course, most people do.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa. Look at this! -[Lawler] Uh-oh.
[Ross] Miscalculation there with Bradshaw and Faarooq.
[Lawler] I'm telling you there's a lot of confusion on both sides here.
-Whoa! -[Ross] Most would think.
Faarooq's still the legal man, I think.
-[crowd cheering] -[Ross] Jeff Hardy--
[Lawler] Swanton! Whoa!
[Ross] What a Swanton.
He hit his head, but Faarooq is…
as we said, the legal man.
A gutwrench.
-[Lawler] Uh-oh. -[Ross] Into the Dominator!
[Lawler] Man.
-[Ross] And Faarooq and Bradshaw win it. -[bell dinging]
[announcer] Here are your winners, The Acolytes.
[Ross] I think the Hardys lost track of who was legal.
Just like they did last Thursday night.
[Lawler] I'm telling you, the Hardys were…
Well, they just didn't have it together tonight.
Well, that happens every now and then, JR.
[Ross] Well, Faarooq and Bradshaw…
got a miscalculation as well, but--
You know, Steph, I can't even begin to think
what your dad is thinking about. What--
I got screwed last night.
He should just say, "Yeah, here's the match," but no.
No, he's still taking it under consideration.
This whole thing stinks.
You're right, it does stink.
But you know, my dad, he's a fair man.
He is fair.
And under consideration doesn't mean no.
You know, Dad just doesn't like to be told what to do.
I'm sure you'll have your match.
I'm sure he will grant you your match.
But you know, what did he say about my match?
Oh, your match? That never even came up.
You know, he doesn't want to talk about anything else.
Well, you don't think he's considering not having my match, do you?
I'll tell you what, he's your father.
Maybe you'll have better luck talking to him than I will.
You know what, and in the meantime?
I'm going to go wait for Austin.
I'm going to finish The Game.
-[Ross] The Game wants to maim Austin. -[door slams]
But what's Mr. McMahon going to do here tonight?
We're outside the Cajundome here at Lafayette, Louisiana.
And, King, will Kurt Angle defend the WWE title tonight
against Triple H and will Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley
face Trish Stratus tonight? It's all up to Mr. McMahon.
[Lawler] Well, in the interest of fairness,
Vince says he's taking it all under advisement.
-What does that mean? -[Ross] Uh…
[Lawler] Is it gonna happen or not?
Your jacket, is that new?
As a matter of fact, it is new.
You're dressing a little hipper lately, Dad.
I'm glad you noticed.
Yeah, how could I not?
But, Dad…
-tonight… -Yeah.
…Triple H's championship match,
you know Hunter deserves a title shot.
-Austin screwed Triple H last night. -Stephanie…
I didn't say he didn't deserve it.
I said I would take it under advisement.
And I still am, okay? Not to worry.
And I know that you're a fair man and that you will do the right thing.
You've got that right.
All right, so speaking of fair,
what about my match tonight with Trish?
Steph, I'm really concerned about your safety and physical well-being.
You're Daddy's little girl.
You wouldn't, by any chance, be worried about the physical well-being
of another little girl that might be in the ring with me, are you?
[Lawler] Hey!
Now look, you don't need to go there.
-Go where, Dad? -All right.
Um, look, as far as I'm concerned,
I have a good mind to just to let you two have at each other.
-Great. -Look… look what you caused me…
You embarrassed me, all right?
Trish embarrassed me, too,
but the two of you embarrassed me at the Royal Rumble,
and I have a good mind to let you have that match,
but I will take it under advisement.
Go get dressed for the match, but I'll still take it under advisement.
-All right. -I know you'll do the right thing.
-All right. -Thanks, Dad.
-I always do. -I know.
Well, it sounds to me like Mr. McMahon's got a big decision to make.
Two big decisions to make here.
You heard he always does the right thing,
but they all seem to be getting ready for the match.
So maybe we're gonna see it. They're going to get it on.
Speaking of big, ladies and gentlemen, The Big Show surprised us all last night
when he returned at the Royal Rumble in New Orleans,
and the 7'2", 500-pounder made a huge impact, to say the very least,
especially on The Rock, who we're going to hear from momentarily.
The Rock sat down with Michael Cole earlier today,
and The Rock is certainly despondent, to say the very least.
-Are we gonna hear from The Rock? -Absolutely.
Well, let's hear it. Where is The Rock?
Well, first, let's take you back to the Royal Rumble.
The Big Show, ladies and gentlemen, shocked us all.
No doubt about it when he came on the Royal Rumble
bigger and badder than ever before.
[Lawler] He started knocking people out of the ring left and right.
If he didn't knock 'em out, he'd throw 'em out.
When he got tired of throwing people out, he started chokeslaming people.
[Ross] And watch this chokeslam.
A one-arm chokeslam for the 330-pound Kane.
-[Lawler] Oh! -[Ross] The Big Show was dominant.
He was eliminated by The Rock,
and then look what The Big Show did to The Rock.
And there's no doubt in my mind
that this led to The Rock being eliminated from the Royal Rumble.
[crowd cheering]
[Cole] Rock, hell of an effort last night at the Royal Rumble match.
You entered at number 13.
You were there almost to the end before being eliminated.
How do you feel today, 24 hours later?
Well, obviously, The Rock feels very disappointed
about not winning the Royal Rumble.
The Rock went into the Royal Rumble, uh, ready to win.
It didn't matter to The Rock.
It never mattered to The Rock what number he came in.
Whether it was number 13, number 3, or 3,000.
The only thing that mattered to The Rock is that The Rock went in there
and was kicking that ass.
That's exactly what The Rock was doing.
Laying the smackdown as only The Rock knows how to do.
You know, sure, The Rock eliminated The Big Show,
was pulled out, chokeslammed through a table.
The Rock still came back.
Eliminated Rikishi all the way until the very end.
But it wasn't good enough.
This was the opportunity for The Rock to go to WrestleMania.
The opportunity for The Rock…
to be in the main event for the WWE Championship.
There's nothing higher than that, Michael Cole.
The Rock should be celebrating right now.
The Rock should be celebrating his Royal Rumble victory.
But instead, The Rock is sitting here next to some…
roody-poo NSYNC wannabe.
Come on, Michael Cole, why don't you entertain The Rock?
Why don't you sing a little bit of that "Bye Bye Bye" for The Rock?
[both chuckle]
[Cole] Well, uh, anyhow, Rock,
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin did win the Royal Rumble.
And if he were sitting right here today, what would you say to Stone Cold?
What would The Rock say to Stone Cold?
He would say, "Stone Cold, you won the Royal Rumble. Congratulations."
"You did what you had to do, and The Rock respects that."
"The Rock will always respect that in Stone Cold."
But seeing as Stone Cold won the Royal Rumble,
it's really irrelevant to The Rock.
The only thing that frankly is relevant to The Rock
is that The Rock didn't win.
And seeing as The Rock didn't win, it could have been Austin,
it could have been Kane,
it could have been Drew Carey, it could have been Jim Carrey,
it could have been Harry Carey himself
coming back from the dead to win the Royal Rumble,
and it wouldn't have made a damn bit of difference to The Rock.
Well, Rock, the fact is, is "Stone Cold" Steve Austin
is going to WrestleMania.
But where does The Rock go from here?
Where does The Rock go from here?
The Rock will tell you where he ought to go,
is The Rock ought to get up out of the chair
and punch you right in the mouth for asking such a stupid question, Michael.
[crowd cheering]
Michael, in our world of sports entertainment,
in our world of theatricality,
The Rock is the most electrifying man in all of entertainment.
Well, that will never ever deter from the fact
that The Rock's goals remain the same.
The Rock's main objective, main focus, main goal…
remains the same.
And that's to become WWE champion.
To one day again, become WWE champion.
The Rock doesn't care when he takes it or who he takes it from…
but The Rock will one day again become WWE champion.
[crowd cheering]
You smell that?
[Ross] Well, that was earlier today.
In just a moment, The Rock will join
the new Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho.
The Rock and Jericho, Benoit and The Big Show, next.
And there you see The Game Triple H,
awaiting the arrival of "Stone Cold" Steve Austin,
sledgehammer in hand.
The Game made the threat earlier.
He's gonna maim and bloody Austin right here tonight when Austin shows up.
[Lawler] This is gonna be bad, JR.
["Whatever" playing]
Are you gonna warn Austin or not?
[bell dinging]
[announcer] The following tag-team contest is scheduled for one fall.
Introducing first from Winnipeg, Canada, weighing 229 pounds,
Chris Benoit.
[Ross] King, I don't know Austin's whereabouts.
Well, I knew the whereabouts last night of Chris Benoit,
who lost the Intercontinental Title
and that Ladder Match has gotta go down in history
as one of the most spectacular displays we have ever witnessed
between Benoit and Chris Jericho, and Benoit's got to be sore as he can be.
["Big" playing]
♪ Well, well, it's The Big Show ♪
♪ Yes, it's a big, bad show tonight ♪
[Ross] And we saw the damage done by this man.
[announcer] His tag-team partner weighing in at 500 pounds,
The Big Show!
-[Ross] The big, nasty human being. -[Lawler] And he's back!
Better than ever, whoo!
[Ross] The Big Show was dominant.
You saw him throw The Rock like a small child
right through our announce table last night.
We saw the destruction…
And the 500-pounder, 7'2", easily leaping over the top rope.
Look at the size of that man.
[Lawler] He's scary, I'm gonna tell you he's scary.
[Ross] He is a large carnivore.
[Lawler] I'd like to tell you that Weider Sports Nutrition presents
WWE No Way Out.
Sunday, February 25, at the Thomas & Mack Center
in Las Vegas, Nevada.
"Get Weider, get results."
[Ross] Our fans in Vegas can be with us live there.
We hope you'll take that opportunity in Las Vegas to be with us live.
["Break the Walls Down" playing]
[Ross] And the new Intercontinental Champion…
[announcer] Their opponent, first, weighing in at 227 pounds,
he is the new World Wrestling Entertainment Intercontinental Champion,
Chris Jericho!
[Lawler] Listen to what Benoit is telling The Big Show.
He's saying Jericho is his.
[Ross] Both Jericho and Benoit
have gotta be sore, young athletes
after that amazing display in that Ladder Match
at the Royal Rumble.
-["Electrifying" playing] -[crowd cheering]
[announcer] His tag team partner from Miami, Florida,
weighing at 270 pounds,
The Rock!
[Ross] No doubt The Rock wants to get his hands
on The Big Show here tonight.
-[bell dinging] -And look at Benoit and Jericho
getting it on here, this match quickly underway,
here on WWE Raw.
[Lawler] As you can see on The Rock's back,
he's still sporting the scars from being driven through that table,
our own announce table,
at the Royal Rumble at the hand of The Big Show.
[Ross] That was one of the scariest moments
I've ever witnessed.
The Big Show just manhandling The Rock
like The Rock was a small, small child.
[Lawler] Everybody looks like a small, small child
next to The Big Show.
[Ross] How are Jericho and Benoit even walking today
is an amazing question.
Oh, look at that. Shot from behind by The Big Show.
Snap suplex.
Oh, no, this isn't, this is… does not bode well.
I think the new Intercontinental Champion…
Poor Jericho may not be walking anymore after this.
What's he gonna do here?
[Lawler] Oh, my gosh, look at the strength.
[Ross] Good Lord!
-[Lawler] The power! -[Ross] Oh, my gosh.
[Ross] The Big Show and Benoit will be in Pittsburgh next Monday night.
Hope our fans of Pittsburgh will join us live
at the Mellon Arena for WWE Raw,
one week from tonight in Pittsburgh.
[Lawler] That had to be nearly a 12-foot drop
straight down on your face,
with The Big Show holding you up over his hand.
[Ross] Poor Jericho.
[Lawler] I don't usually feel sorry for Jericho, but right now I do.
[Ross] Benoit avoiding the contact from the clothesline.
And Jericho scores with the enzuigiri.
And The Rock… Jericho looking for the tag here.
[crowd exclaiming]
[Ross] The Rock in a very foul mood.
-[Lawler] He got him! -[crowd cheering]
[Ross] You heard that interview conducted earlier tonight.
The Rock laying the smackdown.
[Lawler] Look out!
[Ross] On The Rabid Wolverine, Samoan drop.
[Lawler] Oh, man.
[The Rock grunts]
[Ross] Jericho reverses The Rock but The Rock counters back.
-[Lawler exclaiming] -[crowd cheering]
[Ross] A high Greco-Roman throw.
The cover, and no. A long two.
Jericho… Uh, Benoit, excuse me, able to kick out there.
-[Lawler] Wow. -The Rock with a hard overhand right.
[crowd chanting indistinctly]
[Lawler] Oh, look out! Look out!
Man, oh, man!
The Rock has decked The Big Show.
He knocked The Big Show down.
[Ross] Huge right hand by The Rock, but Benoit taking advantage here.
There's the cover. It could be…
Oh, Benoit stopped the count. Whoa!
[Ross] Benoit stopped the count, or it was a dead man over there.
[Lawler] Look at The Big Show.
He's still reeling, what a shot that was by The Rock.
Watch it. Watch your back there, Big Show!
[Ross] Jericho with a shoulder… Oh, my God.
-Oh, this is not good. -[Lawler] Don't make the big man mad.
[Ross] This does not bode well for… Oh--
[Lawler] Oh, my God.
[Ross] Look at the power! Look at the strength!
Jericho just got drilled right into the floor.
[Lawler] That's it for Jericho, call the EMTs.
We need some help out here. He's done.
[Ross] The Big Show right back in the game here.
[Lawler] Could've broken his back.
[Ross] But I don't think Jericho can be a factor in this match.
Oh, it's a two-on-one now.
Backbreaker. There's the cover.
Here we go.
[Lawler] Watch this chokeslam onto the floor!
Oh, my gosh.
[Ross] That is scary.
[Lawler] Just a little extra added energy. The Big Show just went down and drove him
with all his weight into the floor.
[Ross] And now, look at Benoit, and Jericho hurting on the outside.
The Ladder Match…
[Lawler] We need some help with Jericho down here.
[Ross] And now The Big Show's treatment of the new Intercontinental Champion…
-[Lawler] There we go. -[The Rock grunts]
[Ross] And Benoit taking it to The Rock.
[Lawler] Some of these referees have a lot of medical training.
How about some EMTs?
[Ross] Front facelock by Benoit who brings The Rock back to the corner,
and the tag made.
And The Big Show went for the hand-sized right hand to the ribs of The Rock.
[Lawler] See you, Chris.
[Ross] Jericho being taken outta here, he's gonna need some medical help,
but now The Rock is on his own.
[Lawler] You think maybe that will teach Jericho not to mess with The Big Show?
[indistinct conversation]
[Lawler] Can we get one more shot of Jericho?
There you go.
See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya.
[Ross] The Rock comes back, but he can't take
The Big Show down with three right hands.
[all exclaiming]
[Ross] Look how The Big Show just manhandled The Rock.
The Rock came with three right hands
that barely fazed the 7'2", 500-pounder.
[Lawler] That first right hand that The Rock threw at The Big Show
got The Big Show loopy.
[Ross] I think it caught him off guard.
[Lawler] Take a look at this clothesline, JR.
Can you feel this? Oh!
[Ross] That took The Rock almost out of his boots there.
And now look at the Wolverine.
Even though Benoit's a sore son of a gun,
he is taking it right to The People's Champion.
-[The Rock grunts] -[Ross] Another snap suplex.
A cover! Here we go.
Lateral press and a long time two-count.
[Lawler] Can you imagine what it feels like to get clotheslined by someone
-the size of The Big Show? -[Ross] Absolutely not.
[Lawler] You think you'd ever get your breath back?
[Ross] I know you wouldn't.
Benoit stomping away at The Rock.
The Rock was in the Royal Rumble well over 30 minutes last night.
[crowd chanting indistinctly]
[Ross] Well, that's the crowd at the Cajundome chanting.
[Ross and Lawler exclaiming]
[Lawler] This is like The Rock's back in the Royal Rumble.
Well, it's not exactly every man for himself.
-Rock's out there by himself. -[Ross] It's two on one.
[all exclaiming]
[Lawler] With Jericho hooked, The Rock fighting back.
[Ross] Uh-oh, missed it.
[Lawler] Oh, my, what a suplex.
-Now, Benoit, hold on. -[Ross] And another one.
Two belly-to-back suplex.
-[Lawler] We've got three. -And a trifecta.
[Lawler] That's it.
This Wolverine's a machine, JR.
[Ross] There's the cover. This has got to be it.
-And no, it's not! -[Lawler] What?
[Ross] I can't believe The Rock.
Kicking out after three belly-to-back suplexes.
[exclaims]
It's just a matter of time.
[Lawler] Well, I'll tell you what, Benoit's gotta be frustrated now.
He loses his Intercontinental title last night
to his most heinous rival,
and now he can't finish off The Rock.
But this may do it.
[Ross] Benoit's climbing to the top.
This may end it for The Rock.
-[Lawler] Whoa! -[Ross] And the head-butt scores.
[Lawler] Benoit, get on him.
[Ross] Benoit taking himself almost out of the game as well here.
[indistinct conversation]
[Ross] The Big Show's saying, "Punish him." A cover.
[Lawler] Oh, The Rock! The Rock kicked out.
Chris Benoit within just the tip to win
especially after this huge head-butt.
-Man! -[Ross] An amazing maneuver.
And there is the tag. Look at this monster.
[Lawler] Here's the man with punishment on his mind.
He's not just content to get a three-count.
Oh!
He wants to hurt The Rock.
-[Ross] How big is this man? -[Lawler] He's huge!
[Ross] There's a cover.
[all exclaiming]
[Ross] The Rock's hanging on with all he's got.
[Lawler] Uh-oh.
Now he's mad.
This is bad.
[all exclaiming]
-[Lawler] That'll cave your chest in. -[Ross] Or stop your heart.
Come on, let's go.
-[Lawler] Uh-oh, look out. -[Ross] There's The Rock.
The crowd is cheering The Rock.
-Can't stand to this for long-- Oh, my… -[all exclaiming]
-The Rock fights back again. -[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] What?
[Ross] Oh, Big Show won't go down, King.
[Lawler] He just knocked him down, still can't knock him down!
[Ross] My God, what's it gonna take?
Finally, The Rock lifts his feet,
-and down went the 500-pounder. -[crowd cheering loudly]
Get up, Show!
[Lawler] Oh, look at The Big Show. He's getting right back up, JR.
[Ross] Benoit screaming at The Big Show.
[Lawler] No, over there to your left.
[Ross] The Big Show looking to make the tag.
He got his bell rung by The Rock.
[Lawler] Bell rung, to say the least.
That's a big bell, that's bigger than the Liberty bell.
[Ross] And there's a tag.
There's no one for The Rock to tag. Chris Jericho has been hurt.
And The Rock is all by himself.
-[Lawler] Oh, DDT! -[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] And look at The Rock.
Oh!
[Ross] Oh, baby! Rolling the "B" on The Big Show.
[Lawler] Smacked and being laid down.
[Ross] Uh-oh, now he's being laid down by the Wolverine.
And Benoit is resilient as hell.
[Lawler] But how resilient is The Rock?
-He's got no tag team… -[Ross] Spinebuster.
-[crowd cheering] -[Ross] Leg hook.
And the Big Show pulls The Rock right off of Benoit.
[Lawler] Oh. Walking around by our table.
You know what happened last night…
[Ross] Oh! With the ring bell!
[all exclaiming]
[Lawler] What the heck? He's knocked The Big Show completely out.
[Ross] And the referee is letting it go.
[Lawler] Hey, ref. You see that?
[Ross] Uh-oh! Look out.
Crippler Crossface, the Crippler Crossface.
The end is near for The Rock.
[Lawler] That's the end, Rock. You put up a valiant fight,
but nobody gets out of there, JR.
Tap out, Rock, go ahead.
[Ross] Benoit looking for the tap of The Rock.
[Lawler] There's no disgrace in tapping out.
[Ross] The Rock's reaching for the rope.
[Lawler] Oh!
[Ross] The Rock got the rope.
-[referee] One, two-- -[Ross] The Rock's gonna break the hold.
But how much damage has been done?
[Lawler] How much damage has been done to The Big Show?
He's out like a light, he's laying there like a beached whale.
[Ross] Now, referee Tim White letting the action continue.
-You all like that. -[Lawler] Whoa!
-[Ross] Oh, my… -[crowd cheering]
There's Benoit, his own momentum worked against him there.
[Lawler] Come on, Benoit, you got to get up, you got no partner right now.
-[crowd cheering] -[Ross] Hey, look at this.
-[Lawler] What the heck? -[Ross] There's Jericho.
[Lawler] What's he doing coming back out here? You're a cripple.
[Ross] Chris Jericho, but…
I thought he was getting medical attention.
-But Chris Jericho… -[all exclaiming]
[Lawler] Even with the doctor back there, that push must've got him well.
[Ross] Jericho taking Benoit to the steel steps…
and Jericho is down again.
[Lawler] I think… I think Jericho used every bit of energy he had
to get Benoit back to the ring.
[all exclaiming]
-[Ross] The Rock had Benoit… -[Lawler] Look at this!
Rock Bottom, The Rock Bottom.
[crowd] One, two, three.
-[Lawler] Oh, my God. -[bell dinging]
-[crowd cheering] -["Electrifying" playing]
[Ross] The Rock somehow with an assist from his partner…
[announcer] Here are your winners, Chris Jericho and The Rock.
[Ross] The People's Champion and Chris Jericho
have won a hellaciously hard-fought match-up here live on Raw.
[Lawler] Where do we start off, JR, what a…
[Ross] Oh, wait a minute.
[Lawler] We had a tag match, then a handicap match
-and a single match and now-- -[Ross] Uh-oh, The Big Show is back.
[Lawler] Watch your back, Rock.
Rock.
Uh, Rock, look behind you. [yelps]
[Ross] Big Show captured The Rock.
-[Lawler] Oh, my gosh. -[Ross] Good God Almighty.
The Rock was… he was eight feet in the air.
The height on that chokeslam! Oh, wait a minute.
-[crowd cheering] -[Ross] And now Jericho.
He's more guts than brains.
[Lawler] Way more guts than brains.
This may knock some more of his brains out.
[Ross] Oh, no.
Big Show has snapped here, breaking Jericho maybe in half.
What's the matter with you?
-[crowd cheering] -Where were you? [indistinct shouting]
[Ross] Benoit wants to know where Big Show was,
he was knocked out by that ring bell.
-[Lawler] Oh, Benoit! -Oh, my God.
-[Lawler] What are you doing? -[crowd cheering]
Look what you've done.
[Ross] One hand… one-handed chokeslam.
["Big" playing]
[Ross] Good God Almighty,
look at the carnage delivered by the 500-pound,
biggest, nastiest human being walking the face of the Earth.
-[Lawler] That's Mr. Big Show to you, JR. -[Ross] No doubt.
[Lawler] Or he'd come over here and chokeslam you.
[Ross] My God.
This man is scary.
Benoit, Jericho, The Rock, all down.
[Lawler] Take a look at this.
Just for good measure. Thank you, Rock.
[Ross] Oh, what a huge chokeslam.
[Lawler] And then… and then Benoit had to get on
and ask The Big Show where he was when he was getting pinned.
Nobody talks to The Big Show like that.
Ooh, here's the proof.
[Ross] One arm, ooh!
That is…
Oh, the strength, good gosh.
[Ross] What an explosion just moments ago here in the Cajundome.
With a much-needed assist from his tag-team partner, Chris Jericho,
The Rock able to score the victory for his team
with a Rock Bottom, King, on Chris Benoit.
The Rock's celebration will be short-lived.
[Lawler] You got that right. The Rock was ready to celebrate
but that celebration was cut short at the hands of The Big Show.
Oh, man, when he wrapped that huge hand around The Rock's neck,
look at the ride The Rock went for.
[Ross] Look at The Rock, the expression on The Rock's face
tell that story, The Big Show wasn't done.
Chris Jericho, the new Intercontinental Champion,
he got another one-arm chokeslam for his trouble,
and then Chris Benoit made a mistake of a lifetime.
[Lawler] I can't believe this, The Big Show's own partner.
Of course, you just don't get in The Big Show's face.
You don't try to tell this guy anything.
You ask him something and then you try to tell him something,
this is what you get. Oh, man.
[Ross] That's how big and nasty, destroying his own partner,
this 500-pounder.
[exhales sharply]
Kurt, I was thinking, for the match tonight,
-maybe if The Game is… -Hold on, for our matches tonight?
-Yeah. -What are you talking about?
-Haven't you heard? -What?
Mr. McMahon is still taking it under advisement.
What does that mean, "under advisement"?
How much advisement does he need? What is he waiting for?
The matches will take place.
How hard is that?
-Cripes on Friday! -All right, relax.
Don't worry, I'll handle this.
Okay? I'll handle it.
Whoa, whoa, what do you mean?
Let's just say that I'll give Mr. McMahon all the advisement he needs,
-okay? -All right.
What do you think that vixen is meaning by the "all the advisement he needs"?
-Wow. [chuckles] -That's what I'm thinking, too.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, uh,
last night at the Royal Rumble,
Chyna challenged Ivory for the WWE Women's Title.
And certainly, Chyna coming off a very serious injury
at the hands of the Right to Censor,
the spike piledriver has been well-documented.
We're gonna take you back to the Royal Rumble
because Chyna re-injured herself,
and we're not real sure quite frankly of the severity of those injuries.
But I'll take you back now to the Royal Rumble.
But Chyna was very in control, she was dominating Ivory, King.
[Lawler] Well, I really thought that Chyna was 110%.
I mean, she had… she had shown no weakness at all
during the match but then this,
one of her patent moves and look… if you saw right there,
I don't know if the back of Chyna's neck hit the turnbuckle or…
[Ross] Watch her head.
[Lawler] …or if it hit Ivory's shoulder but…
-[Ross] Almost like a whiplash. -Yeah.
[Ross] Almost like a whiplash, then Chyna lying prone in the ring
and her poor right hand was curling up.
She hadn't moved-- You got off and checked on her.
[Lawler] I went over to her and…
What was scaring me was the fact that she was trying to talk.
There were no sounds coming out. She was not able to move.
The only thing she was moving was her eyes.
And it was… it was a really scary situation.
[Ross] And Chyna has been in the medical facility.
-She is being evaluated. -[siren wailing]
[Ross] We do not know and we'll guard her privacy with that injury,
and regarding that injury.
We just don't know all the details but it does not look good quite frankly.
[Lawler] I know something else that doesn't look good, these two punks.
[Ross] Look at Ivory.
After that beating that Chyna gave her, Ivory, walking like a drunk woman.
-[siren continues] -I forget, beat up like a government mule.
[announcer] The following contest is scheduled for one fall.
It is for the World Wrestling Entertainment Women's Championship.
Introducing first, being accompanied by Steven Richards.
The World Wrestling Entertainment Women's Champion
and Right to Censor member, Ivory.
[Ross] Ivory carrying a copy of Chyna's book, too.
[Lawler] Oh, she's an idiot.
[siren stops]
Last night, a victory was won for the women of the world.
[Ross] Oh… I'm nauseous.
And after I beat that vixen Chyna and put her in her place…
I decided to read her book…
-[Lawler] I didn't know you can read. -…If They Only Knew.
After I read through this disgusting book,
page after disgusting page,
I think she left something out.
Yeah, it's true.
Her depraved, deluded lifestyle led her to success and fame.
But thanks to the Right to Censor, it also…
it lead to her inevitable demise.
And I'll tell you people out there what's missing from this book.
The part about me,
the part about me, the tenth wonder of the world
who put an end to the Ninth Wonder of the World,
and it was for her own good.
[Ross] Please stop the pain.
[Lawler] I just wonder when you'll shut up.
[rock music playing]
[Lawler] Well, I'll tell you what,
what an opportunity for popular Molly Holly.
Right along the line here, momentarily.
Don't you ever get tired of hearing yourself talk?
I mean yap, yap, yap, yap, yap.
"Right to Censor, Right to Censor, Right to Censor." [scoffs]
Well, tonight, I'm gonna do everyone here a favor
and shut your weasley little mouth.
[crowd cheering]
[Ross] All right, Molly, here we go.
And best of luck to you.
[Lawler] And, oh!
[Ross] Drop toe-hold by Molly Holly with the arm wringer
and another on the WWE Women's Champion.
And Ivory much like the Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho
after their Ladder Match at the Rumble.
Oh, she got to be very, very sore after the beating she sustained
-thanks to Chyna at the Royal Rumble. -[groans]
[Lawler] Well, if I had a face and body that looked like hers
and it didn't… and it… or it looked like her that didn't hurt,
I'd think something was wrong. Jesus! I can't stand her, JR.
Oh, man!
[Ross] Ivory taking Molly Holly down with her… with the hair.
And again, we're not trying to be invasive regarding Chyna's injury
with her undergoing so many tests.
We just hope for the best,
and hopefully, this Thursday night on SmackDown on UPN,
we'll have more information.
And there's a cover…
And for the leg drop and a near fall.
Oh, Mr. McMahon has got a huge decision to make here
regarding his son-in-law Triple H's challenge,
an apparent match-up with Kurt Angle for the WWE title tonight.
-Not to mention his daughter's match… -[Lawler] Look at this.
…with Trish Stratus.
[Lawler] Oh, nice move by Molly Holly.
Those Hollys are fighters, aren't they?
[Ross] Absolutely.
[Molly groans]
[Ross] Led by their fighting cousin, Hardcore Holly.
[crowd exclaiming]
[Lawler] Oh, boy, this should be good.
[Ross] Nice belly-to-back suplex.
[Lawler] Hey, we got a pin here.
[Ross] And Steven Richards…
being detained by "Elroy" Crash Holly.
[Lawler] Meanwhile, Molly had Ivory pinned, she could've won that title.
[Ross] Ivory in a precarious position.
I don't think this is gonna be Ivory's night.
-Oh, no. -[Lawler] Ow, ow, ow.
[Ross] Steven Richards, easy with that no-good, weasley tease-up.
-You got knocked. Come on. -One, two, three!
-[bell dinging] -[Ross] This is not right.
[announcer] Here's your winner and still the World Wrestling Entertainment
-Women's Champion, Ivory. -[sirens blaring]
[Ross] I'll tell you what, we need a few more good men and women
here in the WWE to compete.
Maybe some lady will…
Maybe somebody will be tough enough, King, and come in here and set Ivory's match.
[indistinct shouting]
-[Lawler] Oh! -[Ross] Oh, my God.
[Lawler] "Oh, my God" is right.
[Ross] That is a real world. What an Internet site that is.
A sight for sore eyes. Ah!
Rikishi, on his way to the ring
because he will meet the man that was the most dominant man
in the Royal Rumble, Kane.
Rikishi, Slobber Knocker, folks.
Come on, Austin.
[Ross] Triple H still waiting on the arrival
of "Stone Cold" Steve Austin,
so he can batter him into a bloody pulp with that damn sledgehammer, King.
[Lawler] Oh, my gosh, this is gonna be awful.
I'm not sure Austin's even gonna be here tonight.
Hey, wait a minute.
[crowd cheering]
JR, she went right in.
She went right in Mr. McMahon's office.
[Ross] Well, in the interest of fairness, I'd love to know what's going on in there.
[Lawler laughs]
[Ross] And look at this 400-plus pounder.
[Lawler] I know. But did you see Trish adjusting herself there?
[bell dinging]
[announcer] The following contest is scheduled for one fall.
Introducing first, weighing in at 423 pounds,
Rikishi.
[Lawler] Oh, my gosh.
[Ross] Trish was adjusting, huh?
-You don't miss a trick, do you? -[Lawler] Oh, no, I don't.
She saw Mr. McMahon had a new jacket.
I've seen Trish wearing some new clothes lately and…
I know what you're saying.
You think she gets her new clothes by taking her old clothes off,
and that's not true, JR.
You don't need to go there.
You don't need to plant that seed.
[Ross] Those diamond earrings, and I'll tell you what, this man here…
[Lawler] Oh.
["Veil of Fire" playing]
[announcer] Introducing his opponent,
weighing in at 326 pounds, Kane.
[Ross] I have never seen in my eight years here
anyone more dominant in the Royal Rumble than Kane was in the New Orleans arena.
[Lawler] I'll have to agree with that.
He was in there for an hour or maybe more.
He was never tired.
-[Ross] Rikishi, coming out to meet Kane. -[bell dinging]
Rikishi showing no fear either, and Rikishi and Kane.
And I'm still wondering what's the relationship of Kane
and his brother, The Undertaker.
And those questions are still unanswered.
[Lawler] I know the relationship between these two monsters,
one of them bumped like the… each other to death. Look at this.
Look at the size of these guys, they are all-- Oh, look out!
-[Ross] Good grief. -[Lawler] Oh, man.
[Ross] Those steels steps going up and over-ended,
and Rikishi at 420-some odd pounds tossing the 330-pound Kane in the ring.
-[all exclaiming] -[Ross] And there's a shot.
That straight martial arts kick.
Down goes Kane.
Good grief, what a shot there. A leg drop by Rikishi
right in the-- in Kane's solar plexus.
[Lawler] How did Rikishi get his foot seven feet in the air like that
-and kick Kane right in the face? -[Ross] That is great flexibility.
-You're right, King. -[Lawler] Uh-oh.
Here's flexibility for you.
-Rikishi! Uh-oh! -[Ross] He buried that huge backside
-right in the abdomen of Kane. -[Lawler] Uh-oh. Oh, no.
-Oh, no. -Oh, you don't think.
[Lawler] Look, I think Kane's wearing that mask.
-[Ross] Oh, my God. -He might've been saving…
[Ross] Wait a minute. He's up.
And Kane back up catching Rikishi with that foot right to the face.
[Lawler] Boom, what a clothesline.
[Ross] What a thunderous, thunderous clothesline by The Big Red Machine.
[Lawler] Oh, my gosh, look at this. Kane's going to the top.
One!
[Lawler] It's not gonna be good for you, Rikishi.
-Better do something now. -[crowd cheering]
[Ross] From the top, The Big Red Machine flew.
How close did he come in winning the Royal Rumble?
It was the most dominant display in the ring over an hour.
[Lawler] Oh, look at Kane.
I'm surprised. I mean, the punishment, the battering that…
-Oh! That Kane took… -[Ross] Here we go.
-…within the Royal Rumble. -[Ross] Here we go.
[Lawler] He's still able to do this.
[Ross] A chokeslam by Kane.
-And going for the cover. -[Lawler] Hey, hey, hey.
-[Ross] There's Haku. -Look at this.
[Ross] There's Haku.
-We saw his return at the Royal Rumble. -[bell dinging]
A fellow islander with Rikishi.
And Haku attacking Kane.
[Lawler] Oh, my gosh.
[Ross] This Haku's an animal, I'll tell you.
Kane fighting back with the right hand.
[Lawler] He's got Haku rocking but look out, Rikishi's… oh!
-[Ross] Oh, what a head-butt. -Oh.
-[Ross] And another shot. -[all exclaiming]
[Ross] That's a target practice with Haku and Rikishi.
These two monsters are decimating Kane.
Come on, man. Get out.
-Get outside. -[Ross] That's double team.
[Lawler] You're taking your life in your own hands when you try
to pull those guys off Kane now.
[Ross] This double team is sadistic.
[Lawler] Oh, no. Don't do this.
-[all exclaiming] -[crowd cheering]
-Head-butt him. -[indistinct conversation]
[Ross] Hey, wait a minute.
-It's The Undertaker. -[Lawler] Look at this.
[Ross] It's The Undertaker.
The American Badass is kicking some.
[Lawler] And look at this, JR, look who The Undertaker came to the rescue of.
His own little brother Kane.
[Ross] Undertaker now, Kane's back up.
[Lawler] Oh, boy, here we go.
[Ross] Kane and The Undertaker fighting Rikishi and Haku.
[all grunt]
Haku won't go down, but he'll damn sure go out.
[Lawler] Oh, man.
[crowd cheering]
[Ross] Rikishi being nailed by the brothers, Undertaker and Kane.
-[Lawler] Whoa, man! -[Ross] What a clothesline.
What impact.
[Lawler] And what message does this send, JR?
All night last night at the Royal Rumble, you were asking me,
"Are Kane and The Undertaker back together?"
-[Ross] Oh, my God. Look. -Oh, my God.
-[Ross] You've got to be kidding me. -[Lawler gasps]
[Ross] A double chokeslam.
A double chokeslam by The Undertaker and Kane.
Good God!
["Rollin' (Air Raid Vehicle)" playing]
Rikishi just got chokeslammed to hell by The Undertaker and Kane.
They are eyeballing each other.
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] This is scary, JR.
[Ross] What an ovation here.
The Undertaker and Kane just took care of Rikishi.
And look at Kane, hasn't taken his eyes off his brother,
and The Undertaker leaving.
But no proper sign that they're actually back together.
-[snarls] -[Lawler] Oh, no.
[Ross] They're the new tag team champions, The Dudleys.
They're gonna put the gold on the line, and they're gonna do it, next.
[Ross] We're back live on Raw, and Haku who shocked us all
at the Royal Rumble last night, just shocked us again as he assaulted Kane
at Kane's match-up with Rikishi.
And, King, it looked like Kane was gonna be physically dissected
by these two men from the islands.
[Lawler] Well, anytime you put two monsters like Rikishi and Haku together…
-Oh! -…this is the kind of damage
they can inflict on somebody, even somebody like Kane.
[Ross] And when you're wondering what their relationship is now,
the official relations between that man, The Undertaker, and his brother Kane.
[Lawler] Well, I think this goes a long way,
at least it sends a message to me that…
That there is some sort of relationship,
because the Undertaker came out to the rescue of his brother Kane.
[Ross] And then this teamwork, this was purely devastation.
[crowd cheering]
This was 430 pounds… Oh!
Drilled by two monsters.
Rikishi, what we just saw--
Undertaker, let me tell you something.
You like getting into my face?
Well, let me challenge you to something this Thursday.
No Holds Barred, me and you on SmackDown.
And Undertaker, you can have the whole damn thing.
Is that bad enough? Come get it.
[Lawler] Wow.
[Trish giggling] Oh, that feels nice.
Oh, that feels very nice.
[Ross] Well, we are set for now, WWE Tag Team title action,
and it's interesting how the team of Lo Down got this opportunity.
[Lawler] I'll tell you one thing,
these guys have a great shot at winning the title now,
and in the interest of fairness,
Mr. McMahon gave Lo Down a title shot because…
well, he took away their Royal Rumble shot,
and gave it to Drew Carey.
[bell dinging]
[announcer] The following tag-team contest is scheduled for one fall
and it is for the World Wrestling Entertainment Tag Team Championship.
Introducing first, being accompanied by Tiger Ali Singh,
at a combined weight of 581 pounds,
Lo Down!
[Lawler] But I really thought--
I really thought Drew Carey was gonna get it last night.
-[Ross] What is… what is this? -[firecracker whizzing]
-["We're Coming Down" playing] -[Lawler] I know what that is.
[Ross] Here come those damn Dudleys.
[announcer] Their opponent, at a combined weight of 565 pounds,
they are the new World Wrestling Entertainment Tag Team Champions,
Bubba Ray, and D-Von, the Dudley Boyz.
[Lawler] Hey.
We're being joined here by Tiger Ali Singh.
-[Ross] The Lo Down… -[bell dinging]
…not wasting any time.
D-Lo Brown and Bubba Dudley, there's no way…
You know, I thought the Dudleys were very fortunate
to defeat Edge and Christian at the Royal Rumble
because of the physical condition that the Dudleys were in
after the double Con-Chair-To shot last Monday night on Raw,
the assault last week on SmackDown.
And the Dudleys still smarting with, quite frankly, minor concussions.
[Lawler] First, we've been joined here by Mr. Tiger.
Can you hear? Is your headset working, man?
[Tiger] Headset is working perfectly fine, King, thank you very much.
Oh, yes, pleasure to have you here.
[Tiger] It's my pleasure as well.
Finally, we're given the opportunity to show our superior athleticism,
and we're gonna win the title tonight.
-[Ross] That remains to be seen… -You don't have to hold the microphone.
You can let go of it, that's all right.
-[Tiger] I know… -[Lawler] It'll stay there.
All these racist, and prejudiced people around me,
I'm not safe anywhere in the United States.
[Ross] Oh, I don't… I don't know why you'd say that
-but in any of that… -[Tiger] I say that because that's true.
[Lawler] Great opportunity for Lo Down, because again, I don't think the Dudleys--
-[Ross] Here it comes, look out. -[Lawler] Uh-oh.
[Ross] Oh, Bubba Bomb.
Look at Bubba Ray holding his head and the back of his neck.
The Dudleys, this is an ill-advised opportunity,
that the Dudleys have found themselves in, King, in my view.
[Lawler] I could see, that's right.
[Tiger] Look at that, our superior athleticism,
just caught off guard, but this is what I'm all about,
this is why I've come to choose D-Lo and Chaz.
-[Ross] Why is that? -[Tiger] They've been neglected…
-[Lawler] Oh, man. -…they've been overlooked by the WWE fans.
[Lawler] Powerslam! Here we go!
[Tiger] They've been missing the Indian culture,
the unity from our people, they've adopted it, and you're seeing it.
They are unbelievably vicious like never before.
[Lawler] Speaking of the Indian culture, I see you brought an extra…
-What is that, a turban? -[Tiger] Yes.
Jerry "The King" Lawler, and with tradition, with our respect,
we would like to pay homage to you and give this to you…
-[Lawler] Uh-oh. -…it's a ceremonial Maharaja turban.
Wazzup!
-[Ross] D-Von on the top. -[Lawler] Oh, my…
[all exclaiming]
[Ross] There's some Dudley culture. The Dudley tradition.
[Lawler] Do they ever say "wazzup" over in India?
-What are you gonna do with this? -[Tiger] No. I'd like to put it on you.
-[Lawler] Wait a minute. -It's a Maharaja turban.
[Lawler] Check this out, JR, I got a Maharaja turban.
[Ross] That's very nice. You'll not be allowed at the airport.
-[Lawler] What are you talking about? -[Ross] The Dudleys with--
-[Tiger] It's an ignorant theory. -[Ross] They're getting a table.
-[Lawler] I understand. -[Tiger] It's ignorance.
This is what it's all about, ignorance and prejudice,
this is a traditional Royal turban.
[Ross] How do you feel about your team getting their ass kicked here,
and the Dudleys are about to put them through a table?
[Tiger] This is all the prejudices against us.
-[Lawler] Look out. -[Ross] Look at the referee.
D-Lo got the tag title belt.
-Hey, hey, hey. -[Lawler] Oh, my gosh.
[Tiger] That's not fair. We are the champions.
-[bell dinging] -We're the champions.
We're the champions…
[announcer] The winner by disqualification, Lo Down.
[Ross] The champion, the Dudleys are disqualified
for using the title belt to…
the belts don't change hands on a disqualification.
[Lawler] Hey, wait a minute, Tiger.
Look at this.
[Ross] Oh, no, and the Tiger is gonna experience another Dudley…
-Tiger's in-- -[Lawler] Oh, my gosh.
[Ross] Breaking through the table.
The Dudleys took the bite on the Tiger.
[Lawler] Tiger thought he'd won the title but instead, he got introduced to a table.
[Ross] Oh, that would be another night for Lo Down,
but the Dudleys have got to heal up.
They're putting themselves in jeopardy every time they come out here, King…
-[Lawler] Yeah. -…with these injuries.
[Lawler] Concussion, and all. Uh-oh.
[Mr. McMahon] Uh, Trish, you forgot your hat.
Oh, thanks. [giggles]
-[Lawler] She forgot her hat. -[sighs]
[Ross] Look at her hair.
-[Lawler] Look how sweaty she is. -[Ross] What have they been doing?
[Lawler] She's glistening, oh!
Yes, sir. Yes, sir, I understand.
Ladies, and gentleman,
we've been informed that Mr. McMahon will be joining us momentarily
to have the announcement on what the main event will be
for tonight's Raw is War.
-[Lawler] Finally. -[Ross] Why can't he tell us now,
or is he getting dressed?
[Lawler] What are you talking-- Why don't you stop asking questions?
[Ross] Well, here comes the Hardcore Champion,
and, folks, Al Snow will challenge Raven momentarily,
and many of us remember very vividly. About a month ago down in Memphis
at the pyramid, it was Al and Raven in the Hardcore match-up, King,
where Raven used a cinder block over Al Snow's skull.
-One, two, three, that's it. -[bell dinging]
[Lawler] That put Al Snow on the shelf for a long time.
I thought it was gonna be forever.
I thought he was permanently concussed.
[Ross] Al Snow returned to the Royal Rumble, and tonight here, Raven,
-the hardcore-- -[Lawler] Look at this.
-[bell dinging] -[Ross] There's Al Snow.
-[Lawler] Oh, boy. -The bell sounds,
remember, this is…
This is Anything Goes, Falls Count Anywhere…
-[Lawler] Oh, my gosh. -…for the Hardcore title.
[all clamoring]
[Lawler] Al Snow's just stomping that basket brought out here by Raven.
[Ross] Raven and Al Snow, Mr. McMahon with a big announcement
regarding the main event here tonight.
Where the hell are these guys?
[Lawler] They're up under our stage now.
-Look out… They got the pyro stuff out. -[firecracker bursts]
Oh, no!
[Ross] Oh, my God, what the hell was that?
Somebody get… both these men are like…
they both maybe concussed.
[screaming]
[Lawler] There's all kinds of pyro under that stage.
They've knocked the referee down with both of these guys.
[Ross] What in the hell is… This is insane.
The referee is down, and Al Snow's got the cover
but that pyro went off with those…
These two men under the stage.
[Lawler] Uh-oh, look out.
[Ross] Raven with the fire extinguisher right to the face…
[Lawler] They're gonna make sure the fire is out.
Don't take any chances.
Good grief.
[crowd cheering]
Man, did you know what kind of concussion that would've had been?
[Ross] I heard the guy once had his heart stopped. When it happened,
-he had to start his own heart back. -[extinguisher clangs]
-[Lawler] What? -[Ross] And look at now, Raven…
Al Snow to the… where in the--
Oh, my gosh. Not an ironing board.
[Lawler] We're back there with our seamstresses.
You ever get hit by an ironing board? Hey, wait a minute.
[Ross] Oh, that's gonna…
-[groaning] -[Lawler] Uh-oh.
Our photographers aren't gonna like that.
[Ross] Remember, falls count anywhere here.
-Anything goes, that's the… -[groaning]
Now, hot coffee will get your attention in a hurry.
Snow and Raven, these are so dangerous, these match-ups.
[Lawler] This was McDonalds, right?
We're gonna have a big lawsuit on his hand right now.
Oh, look out!
Man.
[Ross] I've been wanting to say this for years.
-[Lawler] What? -[Ross] A potted plant to the abdomen.
[Lawler] You ain't right, JR, you know what?
Whoa!
[Ross] Don't want to miss our coffee.
[Lawler] Hey.
All of our catering.
-Oh! -[screams]
-[Lawler] Hey, you got milk? -[Ross] Does the body good…
-Yeah. -…but maybe not in that context.
[Lawler] You got that right. Man, look at this.
Hey, that's our post-match meal! Wait a minute, you idiots.
[Ross] I'm not eating that now. Oh.
[Lawler] What am I gonna eat tonight now?
[Ross] Raven hasn't even taken off his title belt.
[Lawler] What is that?
[Ross] These hardcore match-ups are insane.
[Lawler] Look out. Oh, good gosh, Almighty.
Nothing says lovin' like something from the oven, hit him again.
Whoa.
[indistinct shouting]
[Ross] Maybe with some clay or something, I don't know.
A handful of trophies.
[Lawler] Oh, my gosh.
[Ross] And now, they're fighting outside.
Raven, the Hardcore Champion and the challenger, Al Snow.
[Lawler] Are you sure that's Raven?
[groans]
[Ross] Yeah, because he's still wearing his belt.
Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.
Get up.
Al Snow's got a weapon here.
[Lawler] Yikes! Don't break a leg, look out!
-[Ross] What is that? -You think you're hardcore, huh?
You try and put me out?
You're not hardcore, you're a worthless piece of garbage.
-[Lawler] Oh, look out. -[screams]
[Ross] Right below the belt, that's… There's a cover.
-One, two… -[Lawler] Oh, my God--
-And we got-- -Come on, count!
-One, two, three. -[bell dings]
[Ross] And the… we've got a new Hardcore Champion.
[announcer] Here's your winner…
[Ross] Oh! Who the hell is that?
-Who was that, King? -[Lawler] I don't know who it is.
[Ross] Somebody just came out of that car with a…
-[Lawler] Like a freaking ninja. -One, two, three.
-[bell dings] -I'm not giving my belt.
-[indistinct shouting]
[announcer] And the new World Wrestling Entertainment Hardcore Champion,
Raven.
[Ross] Who the hell is helping Raven?
[Lawler] I don't know, he lost it, then he won it back,
thanks to that… whoever she was.
[Ross] I don't know if it was a he or a she.
[Lawler] Well, if it's a he, he's got some nice breasts.
Well, Mr. McMahon, have you made up your mind
concerning the main event tonight?
Indeed I…
Indeed I have… seem to have lost a button on my cuff.
But nonetheless, yes.
In the interest of fairness,
the combination of my daughter and my son-in-law,
Stephanie and Triple H, will meet the combination
of Kurt Angle, the WWE champion, and his partner, Trish.
-[Ross] What, tonight? -[Lawler squeals]
[Ross] The Game still waiting on the arrival of "Stone Cold" Steve Austin,
sledgehammer in hand.
-[Triple H] What? -We've got a match.
It's not the championship, but here's your knee brace,
-here are your pads. -What do you mean it's not
-my championship match? -It's a mixed tag.
Dad made the mixed tag.
We're next, here.
[Ross] Ladies and gentlemen,
now you're looking at downtown New York City,
the home of WWE New York, and certainly inside, King,
Too Cool and…
[upbeat music playing]
Check it out, JR. Can you do the running man, JR?
-[Ross] Uh, no. -[Lawler] Huh?
Well, these guys can.
Wow, man!
Look at this.
["Medal" playing]
[Ross] Well, it's got to be a mixed tag-team match-up,
much to the dismay of The Game.
Oh, my God.
Look at this.
[Lawler] Look at Trish, she looks exhausted.
[Ross] That's who I'm referring to.
[Lawler] That sweat was running down her neck on to her…
-her pulsating… -[bell dinging]
[announcer] The following inter-gender tag team contest
is scheduled for one fall.
Making their way to the ring,
the team of Trish Stratus and the World Wrestling Entertainment
Champion, Kurt Angle.
[Ross] Oh, Kurt Angle and Trish Stratus,
they'll collide with The Game and his wife.
What a match-up, next.
[Ross] We are back live at the Cajundome,
Kurt Angle and Trish against The Game and his wife,
Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley. And Mr. McMahon has made his decision.
[Lawler] Mr. McMahon, he never disappoints the fans.
[announcer] Introducing their opponents,
the team of Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley and Triple H.
[Ross] Triple H wanted the game for the WWE title,
almost as much as he wanted to maim "Stone Cold" Steve Austin tonight
with that sledgehammer.
[Lawler] Where is "Stone Cold" Steve Austin?
[Ross] I think he may still be celebrating in New Orleans,
I'm not sure Austin is even going to be here.
[Lawler] I don't blame Stone Cold for not showing up.
He probably found out that Triple H is waiting for him with a sledgehammer.
I wouldn't show up either.
Oh, take a look at Trish's little outfit, isn't it cute?
Look at the actual kneepads she's wearing.
[Ross] I bet she had those kneepads on in her meeting with Mr. McMahon.
-[Lawler] JR! -[Ross] I'm just curious.
[Lawler] What…
Triple H is ice cold, he has had no time to get loose,
no time to get ready for this match-up,
he's been outside waiting on Stone Cold,
carrying that sledgehammer around,
trying to bash in Austin's brain.
Look at… look at Trish. She's obviously getting ready.
-She's already sweating. -[bell dings]
[Ross] The Game with a baseball slide through, catching Angle unaware.
[Lawler] Watch it, JR, they're coming right here.
[Ross] Oh!
Angle's head bouncing on the table and The Game with a right hand.
Huge right hand.
[Lawler] He's in there. Look out.
[Ross] Oh, the WWE champion getting maimed here.
[Lawler] Come on, Hebner, get 'em in the ring.
[Ross] Again, The Game dominating the WWE champion.
But remember, The Game wanted the WWE title tonight.
That's not what he got, thanks to his father-in-law.
[Lawler] The title is not up for grabs, so I don't know how much
technical wrestling you're going to see tonight.
This is going to be an all-out fight because these guys hate each other.
Ooh!
[Ross] Triple H had the WWE title won in the views of everyone
at the Royal Rumble, which Stone Cold…
[Lawler] Wait a minute, JR, that's your opinion.
And Triple H's opinion,
but you're not giving Kurt Angle any credit, whatsoever.
[Ross] I didn't get to finish my story, so…
[Lawler] Okay. But before you finish your story,
where are your gold medals?
[Ross] Where are yours?
[Lawler] Well, I'm not besmirching The Olympic Hero here.
[Ross] Well, good. All right now, Angle,
who got that knee damaged at the Royal Rumble by The Game,
who had a methodical game plan, The Cerebral Assassin Triple H.
And The Game going right back to work on that left knee
of the World Wrestling Entertainment Champion.
[Lawler] Tag in. Trish. Help your partner.
[Ross] I don't know how badly Trish really wants Stephanie,
but I know that Stephanie would love to eliminate Trish from the WWE entirely
and from Mr. McMahon's life, quite frankly.
[Lawler] See that look from Stephanie?
And, Trish, have you noticed that Trish's wrestling attire is just…
It's a little short?
Riding up on there a little bit, she's a little cheeky.
[Ross] Cheeky is right.
And what a right hand moments ago and another…
there's a right by the WWE champion, Kurt Angle,
and right back to the knee goes Triple H.
[Lawler] I'll tell you, Kurt Angle has a lot to prove here.
He wants to prove to the world that
he really would not have lost this title to Triple H
at the Royal Rumble,
even without "Stone Cold" Steve Austin's help.
[Ross] Triple H started tonight with the challenge
to get to Kurt Angle.
That was accepted, but that was before Mr. McMahon arrived.
And there's a tag to Trish.
What the hell is Trish doing?
[Lawler] Oh, my gosh, be careful, Trish. I love it.
What the heck?
Trish with crossbody, a dropkick by Angle.
[Lawler] Trish had Triple H covered.
I thought he was going to be pinned by Trish…
[Ross] Trish was right on top of The Game for a moment.
[Lawler] Here we go, look at this.
[Ross] Oh, man.
Oh, Kurt Angle can't believe what he did.
He just dropped Stephanie down.
-[Lawler] Kurt, I'm shocked. -[imperceptible]
Oh, he didn't mean to do that, JR.
He had, uh, a fit of rage or something off his head.
[Ross] It's instinctive, I assume, but…
[Lawler] Whoa.
That will bring you back to reality.
Oh! Give him another one.
[Ross] I don't know what hurts worse, those slaps or these right hands.
[Lawler] I'd say the right hands.
[Ross] I think you're right.
Get him, Hunter.
[Lawler] And Stephanie…
[Ross] Triple H again, showing that mean streak.
[Lawler] Oh, look out, look out.
[Ross] Facebuster by The Game, and Kurt Angle…
[Lawler] Uh-oh, look out.
[Ross] What a ride by Angle on The Game.
Tremendous suplex.
[Lawler] Here's a tag, oh, here we go.
This is it, this is going to be… Trish's first official time in action,
-what's she doing now? -[Ross] Oh, low blow.
Trish on the top rope… Oh, my God.
[Lawler] Trish, look out.
Stephanie slamming Trish off the top.
Writhe in pain.
-That's what you deserve. -[Ross] I can't believe that.
-And Angle on the outside. -[Lawler] Oh, oh, look at Trish.
-Whoa. -[Ross] Trish slapping Stephanie.
Oh, my gosh. Stephanie is slapping Trish.
[Lawler] It's a slap fest. Uh-oh.
[Ross] Takedown by Trish.
The Game on the outside with Kurt Angle.
[Lawler] Oh, my gosh. It's a cat fight.
[meows] Woohoo! Whoa! Look at this.
Get her.
[Ross] Stephanie slapping the fire out of Trish.
-[Lawler] Spank her. -[Ross] Trish in a mount position…
-[Lawler] Oh. -…on Stephanie.
[Lawler] I can't believe it.
Come on, Stephanie, yeah, spank her.
-[Ross] God Almighty. -[Lawler] Spank her.
Get up! Get up, you!
[Lawler] JR, I think they're gonna tear other apart.
Oh, this is great.
I love the WWE.
[Ross] Stephanie with those kicks, right to the gut.
[Lawler] This is coming to you live from their trailer park,
ladies and gentlemen. [laughs]
Oh, my gosh.
-[Ross] Clothesline by Stephanie. -[Lawler] Oh, my gosh.
[Ross] Triple H and Angle, beating the hell out of each other
-on the outside. -[indistinct shouting]
[Lawler] Right now, yeah, there we go.
Oh, now, what's gonna happen?
[Ross] What must Mr. McMahon be thinking now?
[Lawler] Whoa, Stephanie.
Look at Trish, just a little hellcat here.
Oh, no, a bulldog.
[Ross] Bulldog.
A bulldog headlock. I love it.
-It's got to be over. -[Lawler] Oh, look out, Trish.
[Ross] The Game in.
The Game pulling Trish off his wife.
[Lawler] I'm afraid it's gonna be over for Trish… Oh, no.
Oh, God, you got to be kidding me, don't do this.
-No, Triple H, don't. -[all exclaiming]
[Ross] The Pedigree. For the love of God, the Pedigree on a woman.
[Lawler] Kurt, did you see that?
[Ross] Angle just got nailed.
Trish got Pedigreed right out of her bra.
-[crowd] One, two, three! -[bell dinging]
[Ross] And it's all over, thanks to The Game, it's all over.
[announcer] Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley and Triple H.
-["The Game" playing] -[Lawler] This is unbelievable.
[Ross] Kurt Angle pulling his partner Trish out of the ring.
And the first… the first couple of the WWE.
[Lawler] Triple H didn't get his hands on Stone Cold,
but he sure got his hands on Trish.
[Ross] I think he wants some more of The Game.
[Lawler] I think we're not done yet.
No, wait, Kurt Angle-- [screams]
-Oh! Look at this. -[Ross] Austin is here.
[Lawler] Oh, my God, The Rattlesnake has arrived.
[Ross] Cajundome crowd exploded.
[Lawler] Where did he come from?
[Ross] Triple H threatened The Game.
[Lawler] Oh, stunner.
[Ross] The stunner.
Stone Cold won the Royal Rumble and he just kicked The Game's ass again.
[Lawler] Triple H, you got to be careful what you wish for,
you just might get it, and I think you just got it.
[Ross] My God, can you imagine
what The Game is gonna wanna do to Stone Cold?
The Game is gonna wanna put Stone Cold 16 feet after this.
The Royal Rumble winner, The Rattlesnake is going to WrestleMania.
Well, maybe over The Game's dead body.
[Lawler] I can't believe what we've seen here tonight, JR.
[Ross] My God, it's gonna be an explosion of epic proportions on SmackDown.
Austin is going to WrestleMania. xplosion of epic proportions on SmackDown.