[rock music playing]
[Gene] It's summertime,
and the livin' is anything but easy
because it's time for SummerSlam.
The lovely Miss Elizabeth and the "Macho Man" Randy Savage
request the honor of your presence at their wedding
where it will truly be A Match Made in Heaven.
And then nuptials turned to napalm
in A Match Made in Hell.
Sgt. Slaughter, Col. Mustafa, General Adnan,
the Triangle Of Terror,
square off against the red hot combination
of The Ultimate Warrior and Hulk Hogan.
It's time for red hot action.
It's time for SummerSlam.
[crowd cheering]
[Gorilla] Welcome to New York City.
Welcome to jam-packed Madison Square Garden
and an international television audience.
Welcome to SummerSlam.
Hello, everyone.
I'm Gorilla Monsoon along with the "Hot Rod" "Rowdy" Roddy Piper,
and of course, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.
Everyone waiting anxiously for our two big features,
the Match Made in Heaven and the Match Made in Hell.
The "Macho Man" Randy Savage will tie the knot, Brain,
right here in The Big Apple with The First Lady of Wrestling,
the lovely Miss Elizabeth.
Well, he's gonna tie the knot all right.
But it's gonna be around a noose around his neck
'cause he's getting married tonight.
[Gorilla] Thank you for that. All right.
Sid Justice, the special guest referee in the Handicap Tag Team match,
Triangle of Terror taking on The Hulkster and his partner, The Ultimate Warrior.
We're talking about A Match Made in Hell.
We're talking here more turmoil than they got it Russia.
You got Slaughter, you got Mustafa, you got Adnan.
That's one brain.
Then you got Hogan. Hogan hates Warrior. Warrior hates everybody.
You wanna have A Match Made in Hell?
Well, let's get rowdy and ring that bell.
That and a whole lot more coming up in mere moments.
So let's go onto our ring announcer, The Fink.
[bell ringing]
[Howard] Ladies and gentlemen, this is our opening contest of SummerSlam.
It is a special Six-Man Tag Team match, scheduled for one fall.
About to enter the ring, as part of team number one,
here is The Dragon.
[crowd cheering]
["Sirius" playing]
[crowd cheering]
[Roddy] Whoa.
[Gorilla] The Dragon on fire here in Madison Square Garden.
I hope he singed your eyebrows, Brain.
[Heenan] Well, this summer is hot, but it's not as hot as SummerSlam.
-[Roddy] That's what happened to-- -[Gorilla] Oh. Here he comes.
Former Intercontinental Champion, "The Texas Tornado."
[Howard] …"The Texas Tornado" Kerry Von Erich.
[Heenan] He looks ready, don't he?
[Gorilla] Well, he was born ready.
-Like you, Rod. -[Roddy] Yeah.
You're talkin' Texas born, Texas bred. And doggone it,
he'll be Texas dead.
[Heenan] Because he's dumb in the head.
[Roddy] I said Texas dead.
-[Heenan] I know what you said. -[Gorilla] Can you hear this eruption?
-[crowd cheering] -["Rule, Britannia!" playing]
[Howard] And the third member of team number one,
The British Bulldog.
[Gorilla] Power personified in The British Bulldog.
What a six-man this is gonna be.
[Roddy] Whoo-hoo!
[Heenan] What a SummerSlam this is gonna be.
[Roddy] Is that brawler in shape or what?
[Gorilla] You won't have to answer that--
[Howard] Their opponents are managed by "The Doctor of Style" Slick.
[crowd booing]
[Howard] At a total combined weight of 821 pounds,
here are The Warlord
and Power and Glory.
[Gorilla] What a powerhouse, Rod, that Warlord is.
[Roddy] I'm telling you, The Warlord, better shape.
All these guys are geared up for SummerSlam
-and you're about to see… -[bell ringing]
…hell begin right now.
[Gorilla] A little bit of confusion there deciding which man is gonna start this.
[Heenan] Well, I'll tell you. That's gonna be their downfall.
You see, Slick manages The Warlord.
He manages Power and Glory.
These three gentlemen on this side, The Dragon, The Bulldog,
and The Tornado, I don't think have ever been in a tag match together.
They're gonna be lost out there.
They're gonna lose this match.
[Roddy] Yeah, but Roma and The Warlord have never been in a tag match together.
[Gorilla] Talk about tag matches, big matches still to come here tonight.
World Wrestling Entertainment Tag Team belts on the line.
The Nasty Boys putting them up against Legion of Doom.
[Heenan] Wow.
[Gorilla] Intercontinental belt also at stake, Hot Rod.
[Roddy] Baby, that's gonna be one of the greatest matches ever
right here on SummerSlam.
[Heenan] How about the Jailhouse Match?
One man could spend the night in New York City…
[Gorilla] What do you mean could spend the night? Is.
Somebody's going to the slammer.
[Heenan] Oh, it's either the Boss Man or The Mountie.
And I don't think it's The Mountie.
[Roddy] Well, then-- you're not thinking then, brother…
[Gorilla] Let's not…
[Roddy] …but The Mountie's gonna be there.
[Gorilla] Let's not forget for a moment
about Ted DiBiase "The Million Dollar Man,"
one of the rare times that he's putting that Million Dollar belt
on the line against former bodyguard, Virgil.
Your pal, Hot Rod.
[Roddy] My buddy Virgil.
Virgil and I have been conversing a little bit.
Man, you wanna see the eye of the tiger?
You wait 'til you see Virgil.
[Heenan] You know, DiBiase taught Virgil all he knows,
but he didn't teach him all that DiBiase knows.
That's gonna be the difference.
[Gorilla] Oh. Nice leverage move by The Dragon.
[Roddy] It's okay, Boobs.
I made up the difference.
[Heenan] Well, I wouldn't bet on Virgil then.
[Gorilla] Nice arm wringer once again by The Dragon,
trying to get some control here.
[Heenan] Remember, Monsoon, you promised me
that Piper would not bother me during this broadcast.
[Gorilla] If you behaved yourself.
[Heenan] Well, you don't have to answer. You can talk to me about it.
Take him out of the corner.
[Roddy] Okay. I'm sorry, Boobs.
I mean, Bob, not Boob.
[Gorilla] The match probably sticks out foremost in my mind, Brain,
Mr. Perfect, and The Hitman, the man who has excellence of execution
taking on a man with the Intercontinental title
who claims to be perfect,
that is gonna be a knockdown drag-out affair.
-[Roddy] Close the door. -[Heenan] Well, Bret Hart wants that
World Wrestling Entertainment Intercontinental title so bad,
he can taste it.
But I'll tell you something, Perfect wants to keep that title
more than anything and he is perfect.
[Gorilla] We'll find out.
[Roddy] Look out. Look out.
Talk about on a roll, there comes The Texas Tornado.
He thinks he's stunt pulling with that arm.
[Heenan] Yeah. But if he you watched the weather forecast,
it's gonna be hot and calm.
-[Heenan] Hot and calm? -[Roddy] Hot and calm?
[Heenan] Yeah. There's gonna be no tornadoes.
So don't worry about it.
[Roddy] Well, I think we got one right now.
Check it out. Oh.
[Gorilla] Texas Tornado turning the tables here…
-[crowd] …seven, eight, nine, ten. -[Gorilla] …on the powerhouse, Hercules.
[crowd cheering]
[Roddy] Just to help you out, Boobs, they went up to ten there.
-I know you have trouble past seven. -[crowd counting]
[Heenan] Monsoon, tell him not to call me Boobs.
[Gorilla] Well, he can hear you.
[Roddy] I'm sorry.
[Heenan] Yeah. But he doesn't listen to me.
-He'll listen to you maybe. -[Gorilla] Please, don't start, you two.
[Roddy] Whoa! What a shot.
[Heenan] I guess you told him, huh?
[Roddy] Huh?
[crowd chatter]
[Gorilla] Both teams looking for that open door.
[crowd cheering]
[Gorilla] Uh-oh. Look out.
-[Roddy] Whoa. -[Gorilla] Two powerhouses in there now.
[crowd cheering]
[Heenan] No. He's not gonna knock him down.
[Gorilla] British Bulldog with the shoulder blocks.
Not even fazing him.
And a clothesline got his attention.
-[Roddy] Come on. Yes. Yes. -[Gorilla] Another one sends him down.
[crowd cheering]
[Gorilla] And Dragon cheering in the corner.
[Roddy] Get him, Davey. Get him.
[Gorilla] Suplex attempt.
-[Heenan] Whoa. -[Gorilla] He got him up.
-I don't believe it. -[Roddy] See the power.
-Oh. -[Heenan] How about that for power?
[Roddy] I gotta give it to him.
[Gorilla] Threw him off there like yesterday's garbage.
[Roddy] Talk about a well-organized team.
The Dragon, Davey Boy, Tornado, they're working, well-oiled.
[Gorilla] They certainly are.
Got a lot of continuity going for themselves.
[Roddy] Beautiful.
-[Gorilla] Oh. -[Heenan] No, no, no.
Too powerful.
Now, let's see what kinda continuity they'll come up with.
[Gorilla] Well, Dragon made a very bad mistake there
attempting to match power with The Warlord.
Forget about it.
[Roddy] Yeah. But I don't think he was so much trying to match power
as The Dragon was just going for it.
The Warlord knew where he was and actually set The Dragon up very well.
[Heenan] See Roma's making a mistake there.
He's not wrestling the man on the apron.
He's wrestling the man in the ring.
Pay attention to the man in the ring.
Come on, Dragon. Drop him, baby.
[Gorilla] Right over the back goes The Dragon.
Look out. Reverse sunset roll-up.
Herc, and he missed the clothesline.
-[Roddy] Oh! -[Gorilla] It's pandemonium now.
[Roddy] What a shot.
[Heenan] I think the referee's gonna lose a little bit of control here.
[Gorilla] Referee's losing a lot of control.
There's four guys in the ring.
[Roddy] Yeah, but you got six studs in there and it's hard.
I don't care who you are to try to referee a match like this.
Look at these guys go for it.
Look at them going for a waist lock, trying to make that tag.
[Gorilla] Well, the Dragon came up with the short end of the stick
on that exchange.
-[Heenan] Yeah. -[Roddy] Yeah.
Not for lack of trying though.
-Oh. -[Gorilla] Oh, snap suplex by Roma…
-[Roddy] No, a kick-out. -[Gorilla] Whoa. Two and a half.
That was close.
[Heenan] Real close.
[Roddy] The Dragon can absorb a tremendous amount of punishment.
He always knows where he is.
And just when you think he's finishing, he's just beginning.
[Gorilla] Look at this kind of power display here by Roma.
[Heenan] Romeo Roma.
[Gorilla] You mean Jerk?
-[Heenan] No. -[Gorilla] I call him Jerk. Herc and Jerk.
-[Heenan] That's not nice. -[Gorilla] Oh.
[Heenan] It's not nice to call people names.
[wrestler] Come on, Rick, tag it out.
That's the way to do it, baby. You got that turkey, now roast him.
The ballgame is in our ballpark now.
[Roddy] If Slick's team wins, they're gonna buy him a new upper plate.
[Gorilla] I hope so.
[Heenan] Slick has dentures?
[Roddy] Oh, come on, referee.
You know, again, I'm saying, "Come on, referee,"
but it's really not the referee's fault.
It's really actually well calculated on the part of Slick's team.
[Heenan] He could be the difference in this victory.
[Roddy] That's why I hate managers.
[Heenan] You hate managers because you can't get one.
[indistinct chatter]
[Gorilla] Well, you're not available anymore.
[Heenan] I wouldn't manage him. I couldn't trust him.
-You know those Scotsmen? -[Gorilla] Trust in journalists.
[Heenan] You know them Scotsmen, what can I get paid?
Thirteen bucks a year?
[Roddy] It's all right. I practically act in a Santa Claus suit.
[Heenan] That wasn't nice.
-[Roddy] Ringing a bell. -[Gorilla] Ooh.
-[Roddy] Whoa. What a slam. -[Gorilla] Dragon in deep trouble here.
Got to get back to his side of the ring.
[Heenan] He's been in the ring a long time.
[wrestler] Come on, Rick. You gotta get out.
[Gorilla] They've cut the ring in half very nicely.
-[Roddy exclaims] -[Heenan] I mean how much punish--
[Gorilla] How much punishment can one guy take?
-[Heenan] I was just gonna say that. -[Gorilla] Oh, sorry.
[Roddy] You guys are speaking along the same line.
I'll tell you how much punishment a guy could take.
Check Steamboat out and you're gonna see a real man.
Look at him fight back.
He doesn't know the meaning of the word "quit."
[Heenan] Well, this boils down to his superb conditioning.
[Roddy] That's the first thing I have agreed with you on, Boobs.
You're starting to scare me.
[Gorilla] Dragon, through the legs, comes up swinging.
Two chops, three chops, an Irish whip-- no, reversal.
-[Roddy] Ooh. -[Gorilla] Oh, what a clothesline by Herc.
[Heenan] I don't even know if the Dragon could take that now.
[Roddy] Making the tag.
Dragon-- the Dragon's done.
-[Gorilla] Yeah. -[Roddy] He's been slain.
[crowd chatter]
[wrestler] He's gonna fight, Slick.
[Roddy] Dragon…
[Gorilla] He needs a little assistance here.
[Heenan] No, no, no, no, he's begging. He's begging him.
He's saying, "Please, Mr. Warlord."
-[Roddy] He's not. -[Heenan] "Stop, Mr. Warlord."
[Roddy] You stop it, Bobby. He ain't begging. Come on, Dragon.
One hard push backwards. You got it.
Come on.
[Heenan] He doesn't have any push left.
[Gorilla] He threw a couple of forearms in there.
They didn't have anything behind him.
[Heenan] Look at that.
-He's looking for the… -[Gorilla] But he's there.
[Roddy] Talk about guts.
[Heenan] He's looking for the Shell Answer Man.
He's out of gas.
[Roddy] It ain't over 'til it's over, Boobs.
[Heenan] That's what Yogi Berra said, wasn't it?
[Roddy] No, that was Boo-Boo.
[Gorilla] Warlord on the inside second turnbuckle.
Took him an awful long time to get up there.
[Heenan] Look at the size of this man.
[Roddy] He's making a mistake. Come on, Dragon.
-Yes, yes. -[crowd cheering]
[Gorilla] Dragon with a last ditch effort, sticks those boots
right in the kisser of The Warlord
-and makes the tag. -[Roddy] Tag!
[crowd cheering]
[Roddy] There's a storm brewing.
Look at him go. Come on, Tornado, knock that big man down.
-Oh. -[Heenan] One down.
Two down.
[crowd cheering]
[Roddy] Come on, Texas.
Ooh. [grunts]
[Gorilla] Side trap on the big guy, but he hangs on.
Tag was made. Warlord doesn't know that.
Warlord didn't have a clue about the tag, but catches
The British Bulldog in mid-air.
Oh.
[Heenan] Two.
-[Roddy] Nope. -[Gorilla] No, he didn't get him.
[Heenan] Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Who's the legal man in there?
Two.
-[Roddy] British Bulldog. -[Gorilla] The Warlord and The Tornado--
the tag was made to The British Bulldog.
Look out.
He's got him up with that powerslam.
-He nailed him. -[Roddy] Ooh.
-[Gorilla] But… -[crowd counting]
[Roddy] It's already hell.
[Gorilla] Look at this. All kinds of action.
Dragon up on top, high crossbody.
-[Roddy] Come on, ref. -[Gorilla] Hooks the leg.
Forget about it.
-[bell ringing] -[Roddy] Oh, you got it, baby
Turn and burn!
[Heenan] You're only gonna see action like that
right here in the World Wrestling Entertainment.
-[Howard] Here are your winners… -[Heenan] The best.
[Howard] …the team of the Dragon, The Texas Tornado,
and The British Bulldog.
[crowd cheering]
[theme music playing]
[Gorilla] Let's go back and take a look if we can
at some of the outstanding action in this one.
[Roddy] Well, check out the Dragon.
Look at this leap, 15 feet in the air, beautifully executed.
Hooking the leg. Look at Davey Boy.
We got a two, and baby, we be out of there.
Whoo!
-With me now, Intercontinental Champion… -[blows whistle]
Get it right, Mooney.
The greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time,
history will be made tonight.
Excellence of execution versus perfection,
Bret Hart versus Mr. Perfect.
Well, Bret "The Hitman" Hart, the Intercontinental belt says
"Wrestling Champion" on it.
And for you to be a champion, you have to be perfect.
You are excellent, but you're not perfect.
There's only one Mr. Perfect and you're looking at him.
Coming up, a battle for the Intercontinental title.
Let's go back to ringside.
[bell ringing]
[Howard] Ladies and gentlemen,
this contest is for the Intercontinental Championship
scheduled for one fall.
Coming down the aisle is the challenger,
from Calgary, Alberta, Canada,
weighing 234 pounds,
Bret Hitman Hart.
[Gorilla] What a tremendous ovation for The Hitman.
They're on their feet here in the Garden.
[Roddy] Everybody here is thinking pink.
[Heenan] Well, that's the only ovation you're gonna hear for him because--
[Gorilla] Oh, there's the parents right there, Brain, excuse me.
Stu and Helen Hart, the mom and dad of The Hitman.
[Roddy] Great rhythm.
You don't have to excuse yourself with Bobby when you cut him off.
He's used to it.
-[Gorilla] Okay. -[Roddy] He gets it all the time at all.
[Gorilla] Look at Hart.
["Perfection" playing]
[Gorilla] Uh-oh.
-Here we go. -[Heenan] Isn't this a perfect entrance?
[Howard] And his opponent
led down the aisle by Coach, weighing 257 pounds…
[Gorilla] Boy, does he look confident?
[Howard] …the Intercontinental Champion,
Mr. Perfect.
["Perfection" playing]
[Roddy] Bobby, Bobby, you would know more
about Mr. Perfect than anybody.
What do you suppose he's thinking at this very moment?
What would his strategy be?
[Heenan] Well, it's very simple, Piper.
He doesn't have to beat Bret Hart.
Bret Hart has to beat him.
So all he's got to do is just let Bret Hart come in,
make a mistake, and it's all over.
[Roddy] Then in other words, your usual philosophy, run and hide.
[Heenan] Run, hide, and keep your title.
[Roddy] Yeah.
There's a little-- a little Bret Hart there.
[Heenan] Little Hitman.
[Gorilla] Very happy youngster there,
the recipient of those Hitman sunglasses.
[Roddy] And, of course, we have, uh, The Coach.
[bell ringing]
[Gorilla] Bell's gone. This one's underway.
All the marbles at stake here.
Take a look, jam-packed here in the Garden.
Twenty thousand plus on hand,
and who knows how many millions around the world
watching SummerSlam '91.
[Roddy] Both men being relatively cautious here.
Both excellent.
Neither one of them wanna make the least error.
Bret Hart loosening up, taking his time.
Both men looking where they are all the time.
[Gorilla] Well, one mistake could lead to the end, Hot Rod.
[Roddy] Very quickly with either one of these competitors.
[Heenan] Notice how they lock up?
[Gorilla] Nice shoulder block by The Hitman,
down quickly, and over the top goes Bret-- whoa.
[Roddy] Well, what about it, Bobby?
[Gorilla] He hip locked him right out of the ring.
[Heenan] I was gonna mention how aggressive they are.
They're not waiting back.
Perfect's got not only his title on the line, but his reputation.
[Roddy] Whoa. What? Bret Hart ain't got nothing on the line?
Bret Hart's got his whole career on this line.
Let alone-- I don't know if I would like to fight in a building
if I knew my mom and pop were up there watching.
That would be hard for me.
[Gorilla] Flew in especially from Calgary, Alberta, Canada for this.
[Heenan] If your mom and pop were here, they wouldn't let anybody know
-that you were their kid. -[Gorilla] Oh, look at this.
A crucifix, almost got him.
[Roddy] I'm not gonna kill you for that remark, Boobs.
I'm gonna let you live for another two-and-a-half hours.
[Heenan] I'm not say-- I heard a rumor that your mom and dad ran away from home.
-[Gorilla] Will you stop? -[Heenan] I just heard that rumor.
I… It's nothing I came up with.
[Roddy] Gor, you don't expect me to sit here and take this, do you?
-[Gorilla] No. -[Heenan] You can leave.
[Gorilla] Just relax, Rod. I'll take care of him.
[Roddy] Okay.
[Gorilla] Handful of hair buys a little time here for Perfect, but…
-[Roddy] Whoa. -[Gorilla] Returning the favor.
[Heenan] You know, Piper used to come home from school
and find out that his parents had moved.
[Gorilla] Will you stop?
I'm not gonna tell you again, you'll be out of here.
[Heenan] I'm sorry. I apologize. Sheesh.
[Roddy] Somehow, I just don't believe you.
But I'm more into this match.
Look at, again, Bret Hart using his smarts.
[Heenan] No, he didn't. He used the hair.
[Gorilla] Oh, well, he was only returning the favor.
[Heenan] You can't…
What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
[Roddy] One hand washes the other.
Of course you wouldn't know about that, Boobs.
[Heenan] You can't pull Bret Hart's hair.
[Roddy] Why?
[Heenan] Because you'd get too many oil slicks on your hand.
[crowd chatter]
[Gorilla] Nice knee right into the midsection,
right in the breadbasket.
Irish whip by the Champ.
-[Heenan] Ring the bell. It's over. -[Gorilla] Clothesline.
He ducked under. High crossbody, sends him down.
He doesn't hook the leg and can't hold him. Wow.
Momentum just took The Hitman right out of there.
[Roddy] Ooh.
[Gorilla] But he's right up with a vengeance.
Sunset from the outside.
[Roddy] No, no, no, no.
[Gorilla] And right back to that side headlock.
[Heenan] I'll tell you. I noticed something there.
Bret Hart went out on the floor, landed right next to The Coach.
Got up, got back in that ring, paid no attention to The Coach.
That shows you how he is geared for this match.
[Gorilla] You can only think about one thing, that's your opponent,
what's going on inside that squared circle.
[Heenan] That's the mark of a winner.
[Gorilla] You start worrying about somebody on the outside,
like you used to be, and forget about it. You're a loser.
[Heenan] Oh, you didn't have to worry about me.
[Gorilla] Oh, no.
[Roddy] Hair, hair, referee.
[Gorilla] Both guys taking a lot of liberties here in this one.
They know how much is at stake.
[Roddy] Juggling for position,
trying to wear the other guy out with a-- ooh!
Oh, what a shot.
[Heenan] He'll be drinking soup for a week.
[Roddy] You ought to be used to the soup line by now, Bobby. It's been--
[Gorilla] Irish whip and-- oh, The Hitman caught the leg
as Perfect was a little bit slow bringing it up, takes him down now.
[crowd cheering]
[Roddy] Don't waste any time, Hitman. Go for it.
-[Heenan] He's wasting too much time. -[Roddy] I agree.
He should be going for it.
[Heenan] And not just a stomp, he should have hooked him into that Sharpshooter.
I think he knows that he's never gonna be able to put that on him.
[Roddy] No, no. I think that Hitman knows the timing for a Sharpshooter.
Oh. And he knew he didn't have more down.
[Gorilla] Oh. Beautiful kick-out and a scoop slam by Bret.
Another beautiful kick out by the Champ.
[Heenan] Whoa.
[Roddy] Oh, right on that elf's nose of Perfect's.
[Heenan] Look out.
[Gorilla] Uppercut sends him over the top rope
and down to the concrete.
[Heenan] Take a count, take a count.
Take a nine-count.
Take your time. You're the champ.
[Gorilla] Both of these guys in tip-top physical condition.
[Roddy] Coach is doing a lot of blowing there with that whistle,
but he ain't saying a lot.
[Gorilla] You won't find either one of these guys runnin' out of gas.
[Roddy] Perfect is wanting to go back.
[Heenan] That's all right. That's all right.
You don't lose the belt that way. It's all right.
[Gorilla] Oh, he might've hurt his back on that move.
[Gorilla] Whoa, Hitman's literally pulling him apart here,
got him back inside.
[Heenan] Does Hitman want it or does he want it bad?
[Gorilla] He wants it.
He knows the title can only change hands on a pinfall or submission.
[Roddy] He needs to go now, though. He can quit stalling now.
Hit him. You got him down.
You got Perfect in the position you want him,
you must go after him.
You cannot give him this opportunity to recover.
[Heenan] Come on, Coach.
[Gorilla] Concerned look on the face of Stu and Helen Hart as they watch.
[Heenan] You know why they're concerned? They snuck in.
-They're scared the usher will catch them. -[Gorilla] Will you be serious?
[Roddy] Stop it now, Bobby.
Don't you realize that Hitman's got his whole career on the line right now?
He's got everything to lose.
[Heenan] What about Perfect?
Don't you think Perfect has everything to lose?
[Roddy] Yeah, but I want him to.
[Gorilla] A shot right over the head of the referee
catches The Hitman right in the kisser.
[Roddy] Perfect's yellin' "Rape!" It ain't gonna help.
Ooh.
[Heenan] Come on.
[Gorilla] That was about a 53-yard field goal right there.
[Heenan] Come on, Coach, you gotta get Perfect motivated.
You gotta get him going.
[Roddy] First thing he should do is fire The Coach, I think.
Oh!
[Gorilla] Another beautiful kick and outside to the concrete,
-goes The Hitman. -[whistle blowing]
[Heenan] He's right here on the floor by me.
[Gorilla] Those ribs are hurtin' right now.
[Heenan] He's having trouble breathing. I can hear him.
[Gorilla] Perfect comes right out after him.
Oh, reverse knife edge and a beauty.
[Roddy] Wow!
Once Perfect gets on a roll, he don't quit.
[Heenan] Doesn't look like too much, uh, excellence of execution now.
[Gorilla] I guarantee they heard that at the top of the Empire State Building.
[Roddy] I tell you though, it looks like Perfect came in
a little heavier than he usually does for this contest.
I think he trained heavy on the weights and heavy in the gym.
[Heenan] You know, no one's gonna win this match by default.
Whoever wins it is gonna have to win it with their own ability,
their own intestinal fortitude, and maybe even some blood.
[Roddy] Well, what did you think, it was gonna be a lottery
and they're gonna a pick a ticket?
Of course their own intestinal fortitude, of course their own guts,
but Bret Hart right there is the kind of guy that can!
[Heenan] Of course, then again, so is Perfect.
[Gorilla] Hitman wide open on the apron and paid for it,
and onto-- and paid for it, right into the steel barricade.
-[crowd chattering] -[whistle blowing]
[Roddy] I don't know. He's got hurt bad on that one.
Look at Perfect, getting his-- look at Perfect, catching his wind,
getting his composure.
[Gorilla] I think, Hot Rod, one of our international photographers
saved him there.
[Roddy] Well, it might've saved Bret, but it didn't save the photographer.
[Gorilla] No, the photographer is still down.
[crowd cheering]
[Gorilla] And look at this. It's retaliation time…
[Roddy] Amazing!
[Gorilla] …by The Hitman, though a reversal by Perfect.
Look out. Slides over the back, reverse sunset.
[Heenan] No, no, no, no.
[Gorilla] Oh, was that close.
[Roddy] Perfect fast to get on the offense again.
-Perfect-- -[Heenan] But he knows--
-Go ahead, go ahead. -[Roddy] Thank you.
Perfect fast to dominate, Perfect fast to know where he is.
[Heenan] Now, I'll talk.
Perfect-- he knew, he-- that is a mark of a champion.
-He never-- -[Roddy] What was that?
-[Heenan] What? -[Roddy] You're stuttering.
-You're not nervous for Perfect, are you? -[Heenan] Well, of course, I am.
-[Gorilla] You don't manage him anymore. -[Heenan] The man's a good friend of mine.
[Roddy] You wouldn't have bet a little money on Perfect, would you,
-or have an inside interest? -[Heenan] I never bet.
-[Roddy] Yeah. -[Heenan] I don't like to lose.
[Roddy] Oh!
[Gorilla] Another beautiful reverse knife edge
by the Intercontinental Champion, Mr. Perfect.
[Roddy] You must not like yourself too much, Boobs,
'cause I've seen you lose a lot.
[Gorilla] Tried for a snapmare out of the corner there, couldn't get it.
-Oh. -[Roddy] Whoa!
[Gorilla] Oh.
[Roddy] I'm telling you, that moved the actual ring.
The actual ring in the building moved when Hitman hit that turnbuckle.
[Heenan] Every eye in this…
[Gorilla] Could be all over right here-- no.
[Heenan] Look at this. Every eye in Madison Square Garden here
is trained right in this ring.
No one's going out for a popcorn, no one's getting autographs.
[Gorilla] Oh, snap neckbreaker.
[Roddy] Point of interest, when Perfect really gets on a roll,
when Perfect is doing his most damage-- oh, a three.
I thought he had a three. He starts with that neck.
[Heenan] This is the beginning of the end for The Hitman.
-[Roddy] Could be true. -[Heenan] Perfect's in command.
I know that look. I know the way he operates.
He's toying with him right now.
[Roddy] That look, he looks like the Wicked Witch of the West, man.
Look at that hair.
[Gorilla] I think he missed the boat myself.
I think he should've gone for the Perfect-Plex right there.
[Roddy] Oh, but judging by the gut, he caught the bananas.
[Gorilla] Dropkick and a beauty
sends The Hitman out to the concrete once again.
[Roddy] Hitman really taking a lot of punishment.
[Gorilla] What a matchup, what a tribute to the athletes
here in the World Wrestling Entertainment to have two guys of this caliber
doing what they're doing here in Madison Square Garden.
[Heenan] Perfect, you can't let him get his wind.
You can't let him walk. There you go. Go after him.
[Roddy] I gotta-- I gotta give credit where credit's due.
[Gorilla] We got one coach out there and we got one sitting here.
[Roddy] You know-- and you know what bothers me is he's right about that.
That is exactly what Perfect needed to do and that's just what he's doing.
[Heenan] See, I'm a broadcast journalist.
I have a right to my opinion.
I can cheer who-- for whoever I want.
[Roddy] It's about the words there, Boobs.
Try to get the-- try to get the toilet paper out of your mouth.
Oh! Come on, Hitman.
[Gorilla] Perfect took an awful long time. Look at,
they're both trying to get up there, both jacking for a position in the corner,
on the second turnbuckle, both on the outside.
-Who's gonna get the upper hand here? -[Heenan] Wow.
[crowd chattering]
[Roddy] Both men-- both men's head are spinning.
-He's got the cover. -[Heenan] Perfect! Oh!
[Gorilla] He's got his arm on the bottom rope.
[Roddy] Perfect trying to get the cover any way he could.
[Heenan] Don't do that, Perfect. Don't touch that ref.
[Gorilla] Why? A disqualification will save this title.
-[Heenan] Okay, then nail him. -[Gorilla] Oh, sure.
[Heenan] Drop him like a bad habit.
[Gorilla] Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat.
-Is that your motto? -[Heenan] And never get caught.
[Roddy] Perfect-- I don't know that Perfect should be taking these liberties.
If he's that strong, he should go for the pin while he can.
Perfect, obviously wanting to humiliate Hart,
obviously wanting to humiliate him in front of his mother, his father,
and all the wrestling fans of the WWE.
[Heenan] You see, he knows he can beat him.
It's just a matter of time.
But to have the fun and the enjoyment of humiliating him,
that's what Perfect is all about.
[Gorilla] Yeah. Well, to me, that's a big mistake.
Any time you got a chance to beat somebody,
you go ahead and beat him
because it could turn around to haunt you for the rest of your life.
[Heenan] You're right, if you're not Perfect.
[Roddy] Oh!
-[Heenan] Good night! -[Gorilla] Sleeper.
-[Heenan] Good night. -[Roddy] Sunk in to that sleeper deep.
[Heenan] Well, Stu Hart and Helen Hart, get the jammies up
'cause sonny is going to bed.
[Gorilla] Hitman in a whole lot of trouble in this one.
[Roddy] Perfect should try to get the shoulders to the mat,
so either he can get a count or Bret Hart will pass out,
but he should try to get it over if he can.
All right, Bret!
[Heenan] Cinch up, cinch up!
[Gorilla] He doesn't have that left arm
and he doesn't have that applied perfectly, Brain.
[Roddy] Come on, Hart!
[Heenan] Well, this match is taking a lot out of both of 'em.
[Gorilla] Three shots in the breadbasket and look at this, another crucifix move.
[Roddy] Oh!
[Heenan] Oh, perfect. Absolutely perfect, that one.
-[Roddy] All right! -[Heenan] Oh, come on.
[Roddy] All right! Come on, get some heart into it.
[Heenan] Maybe some of the worst officiating I've ever seen, baloney.
[crowd cheering]
[Gorilla] Intercontinental title belt on the line,
the drama keeps building and building.
-[Roddy] Oh. -[Gorilla] Oh.
That could be the climax blow right there.
-Hitman down and out, hooks the leg. -[Roddy] Kick out, kick out!
-[Gorilla] No. -[Roddy] Yes.
[Gorilla] He couldn't get him.
-[Heenan] The tension. -[Roddy] Perfect looking frustrated.
[Heenan] Hart wants it bad, Perfect wants to keep it,
mom and daddy here,
millions and millions of people all over the world watching.
There's nothing like WWE action.
[Roddy] Both men taking it to the limit.
[Gorilla] Here it comes now.
Perhaps we'll see that Perfect-Plex.
He's got him set up for it.
[Heenan] Perfect will be in the showers in ten minutes.
[Roddy] Oh, no, no.
[Heenan] Has he got the fingers locked?
-[Gorilla] No, he kicked out. -[Roddy] I can't believe it!
[Heenan] Nobody's ever kicked out of that.
[Roddy] He kicked out.
Come on, Bret! Muster all the guts you got in your body!
[Heenan] Nobody has ever kicked out of the Perfect-Plex.
[Gorilla] Look at The Coach. He's all bent out of shape.
He had those fingers locked.
But I think, already, too much has been taken out of Mr. Perfect.
And The Hitman now going to work on the breadbasket.
-[Roddy] Oh! -[Gorilla] Inverted atomic drop.
He nailed him.
[Heenan] Bret Hart kicking out of the Perfect-Plex,
that might have demoralized Mr. Perfect.
I don't like that.
[Gorilla] Certainly would've demoralized you.
[Roddy] Take it to him, Bret!
[crowd cheering]
[Roddy] Oh, the Vienna Boys' Choir. Here we come.
[Gorilla] Perfect in a whole lot of trouble
and The Hitman gaining confidence with each second that goes by.
Suplex city comin' up, beautifully executed.
[Roddy] One, two, three-- oh.
-[Heenan] He got-- he got out. -[Roddy] On three.
[Gorilla] Actually a two-count.
[Heenan] That's why he's the Intercontinental Champion.
[Roddy] I thought he had him.
[Gorilla] What a classic confrontation.
Small package.
[crowd] One, two…
[Roddy] Come on, Bret, don't stop that rally!
-[Gorilla] Give a lot… -[Heenan] Hart smells…
[Gorilla] …of credit to Mr. Perfect here.
[Heenan] But Hart smells victory.
-[Gorilla] Neckbreaker. -[Heenan] He's trying everything.
-[whistle blowing] -[crowd] One, two…
[Roddy] Oh!
[Heenan] No, no, no, no, no, he didn't get it.
-[Gorilla] Put a nice series… -[Roddy] Come on, Bret!
[Gorilla] …of moves together, but very nonchalant on all the covers.
Can't do that to the champion.
Oh, well-executed backbreaker.
What a classic confrontation between these two superstars
here in the World Wrestling Entertainment.
[Roddy] Cover, cover, two.
[Heenan] No, no, no, no.
[Roddy] Bret, concentrate on the match, concentrate on the match!
-Forget the official, Bret. -[Heenan] My, god, I thought he had him.
[Gorilla] Look at Perfect seizing the opportunity.
-[Roddy] Not like this. -[Gorilla] Rolls him up.
Oh, couldn't get him either.
-[Roddy] Look at that. -[Heenan] I can't-- I can't believe it.
Coach racing around to the other side of the ring to aid assistance,
but look out, Hitman is already there.
Oh.
[Heenan] I have never seen a match go one way then the other,
back and forth so many times.
[Roddy] They must watch the count.
If men get counted out, there will be no title change.
Hart must watch the count carefully.
[Heenan] But Hitman is aware of the count because as you notice,
he threw Mr. Perfect in first.
He didn't try to get in.
[Gorilla] Look at Perfect. He looks like he's looking for a way out.
[Roddy] Oh!
Hart going to another portion of the body now, interesting,
going-- maybe setting up for the Sharpshooter.
[Heenan] How much time do we have? Are we close to the time limit?
[Gorilla] Absolutely not.
[Heenan] I don't see how they can go much longer at this pace.
[Gorilla] Oh, look at this!
He's got it halfway on.
-The Coach is up on the apron. -[Roddy] Oh!
[Gorilla] And there goes The Coach.
-[Heenan] He hit a man with glasses! -[Roddy] No, no.
Don't get down, Bret!
-[Gorilla] Oh. -[Roddy] Oh.
No, not like this.
[Heenan] He hit The Coach, a man wearing glasses.
-I can't believe this. -[Roddy] Cheap shot by Perfect.
[Gorilla] Coach had no business on the apron, interfering…
[Heenan] He didn't interfere.
[Gorilla] …as just-- The Hitman was just about to slap on that Sharpshooter
and The Coach knew it.
[Heenan] Perfect is pulling out all stops now.
Knock it off.
[Gorilla] Momentarily, Coach has saved the day.
[crowd chanting] Let's go, Bret.
[Gorilla] Listen to this chant here by this capacity crowd.
[Heenan] I can't hear. What are they chanting?
[Gorilla] "Let's go, Bret."
[Heenan] It's deafening in here.
I believe The Coach has a broken nose.
[Roddy] Good.
[Gorilla] Nice block there, that move.
Oh, he's got that hold half applied on the canvas.
He's turning him over.
[Roddy] Beautiful counter.
-[Heenan] The Sharpshooter! -[Gorilla] He's got it!
-[bell ringing] -[Roddy] He's got it!
[Heenan] No, no, no.
-[Gorilla] We got a new champion. -[Roddy] We got a new champion!
[Heenan] No.
[Roddy] All right!
[Howard] The winner of this match
and new Intercontinental Champion,
Bret Hitman Hart.
-["Hart Beat" playing] -[crowd cheering]
[Gorilla] The new Intercontinental Champion,
Bret "The Hitman" Hart.
[Roddy] Tear him up, Bret! Tear him up, man!
[Gorilla] Look at Perfect, he's hurt. He wants out of there.
[Roddy] We got us a new champion!
["Hart Beat" playing]
[crowd cheering]
[Gorilla] And he deserves it.
This place is going bananas.
[Heenan] Well, I'll tell you something.
[Roddy] Look at-- at Hart.
[Heenan] He fought for it.
[Roddy] All right!
[Heenan] That was a beautiful move he used.
[Gorilla] Everyone going crazy here.
They love it.
We've got ourselves a new
World Wrestling Entertainment Intercontinental Champ.
Hey, let's go to Alfred.
[Alfred] Thank you, Gorilla.
I'm standing here with Stu Hart,
who is the father of the newly-crowned champion.
He's absolutely caught with excitement.
Excuse me, Mr. Hart. Can I have a word with you?
Well, here is the champion himself being hugged by his father.
This is a highly emotional scene.
Look at Stu Hart, he's practically close to tears.
Stu, tell us exactly what you think about your son?
-He's wonderful and-- -Well, there you go.
He's a little bit speechless and almost out of words.
This is a tremendous victory for the Hart family,
everybody around here.
Gorilla, it's back to you at ringside.
[Gorilla] Tears in the eyes of Mom and Dad Hart.
Well, if you think things are hot here in Madison Square Garden,
wait 'til the Hot Ticket, it's this October.
It's really hot.
[announcer] It's the hottest ticket in town.
And this October, Hot Ticket presents Hulk Hogan: A Real American Story,
exclusively on pay-per-view.
It's an inside look at the spectacular career
of the World Wrestling Entertainment's most popular superstar, Hulk Hogan.
Relive the excitement as the phenomenon known as Hulkamania
grew to almost mythical proportions.
Hey, Hulksters, this is one Hot Ticket you don't wanna miss.
[announcer] Hulk Hogan: A Real American Story,
this October, exclusively on pay-per-view.
[Gorilla] Boy, you certainly won't wanna miss that.
Everything you ever wanted to know about the--
shall we say enchanting career, Brain, of The Hulkster?
-[Heenan] There may be more titles to-- -[Gorilla] October will be hot, indeed.
Right now, let's take it to our other colleague, "Mean" Gene.
All right. Thank you, folks.
Moments from now, The Natural Disasters are gonna be meeting these two men,
Luke and Butch, The Bushwhackers.
And in their corner, this man,
"The Eighth Wonder of the World" André the Giant.
André, I recall a few months back,
during an interview I was conducting with you,
Jimmy Hart had led us to believe that he was gonna be your manager,
but here's what took place at the conclusion of that interview.
Don't call me a liar.
Don't call me a liar, okay? Don't ever call me a liar.
[commentator] Jimmy Hart called André the Giant a liar.
He was like-- wait a minute.
The Earthquake just clipped André the Giant.
He took his knee right out from under him.
André the Giant, over 500 pounds, down on the canvas,
The Earthquake blindsiding André the Giant.
[Gene] Well, André the Giant, what a--
Oh, Cousin Luke, are you ready?
-Boy, am I ready! -Oh, boy!
In a few minutes, we get to crush that Earthquake
and we're gonna wipe that Typhoon all over the ring.
That's right, Cousin Butch.
And we're gonna lick those Natural Disasters all over the place.
And when we're finish licking them, and when we're finish eating them,
oh, boy, we're gonna feed them to you, André.
And that will be my chance to get even.
[both cheer]
All right, let's get back to you, Gorilla. [chuckles]
-[bell ringing] -[Gorilla] Bushwhackers,
along with André the Giant,
ready for this one.
A lot of scores to be settled.
[Howard] …for one fall.
[Gorilla] They'll have their hands full, Brain,
I'm afraid with The Natural Disasters.
[Heenan] You bet.
I don't think André's gonna be much help, but I don't trust André.
He's gonna get involved one way or the other.
[Roddy] You don't trust André? There's a switch up.
Bobby doesn't trust somebody.
The maker or the originator of the three-dollar bill over here.
[Heenan] There are a lot of people I don't trust, Piper,
and you're pretty close to the top of that list.
[Roddy] And you know what? You're a good judge of character.
[Gorilla] Take a look at those two hulks of humanity.
[Roddy] That's-- that is living proof that Chernobyl happened.
-["Walkabout" playing] -[Heenan] Close to half a ton.
[Gorilla] Uh-oh. Look at, they're on their feet here in The Garden.
[Howard] And their opponents, to be accompanied to the ring
by "The Eighth Wonder of the World,"
André the Giant,
from New Zealand,
at a total combined weight of 499 pounds,
Luke, Butch, The Bushwhackers.
[Roddy] You gotta love 'em.
[Gorilla] André still on those crutches.
[Roddy] Oh, no! Get away from here.
If you're gonna lick somebody, lick the blonde-haired guy
with the black roots.
-[Heenan] I beg your pardon? -[Roddy] Oh, sorry.
[Heenan] Is there a guy sitting around me with dark roots?
[Roddy] Well, it ain't-- it ain't Gorilla.
[Gorilla] Bushwhackers have been enjoying a lot of success here in the WWE
just licking and whacking their way through everything, Hot Rod.
[Roddy] I can't help but love these guys.
There's a taste of sour mead in the air,
but you can't help but love 'em.
But you gotta think, how much of an equalizer
is André gonna be in this.
Good look at him there.
[Gorilla] Well, you know Hot Rod, I saw André's leg.
It is ugly.
-[Heenan] Ugly. Ugly… -[Gorilla] Very.
[Heenan] …really doesn't describe it.
[Roddy] And what we're working with here is half a ton of beef in the other corner.
How fast can André move to make the equalizer,
to make sure that everything's on the up and up?
Can André keep the referee off? There's a lot of ifs in this match.
[crowd cheering]
[Roddy] However, a legend, and this just came to me,
can be a great equalizer.
[Heenan] Where does that stuff come from?
[Gorilla] Poof, I just picked it out of the air.
[crowd cheering and booing]
Let's get him on a--
[Roddy] Kind of like you pick flies.
[Gorilla] Pointing a finger at André, Bushwhackers…
-[bell ringing] -…take advantage of the situation.
André just about mobile.
[Roddy] Now Bobsey-- I said Bobsey.
If you are managing The Bushwhackers, Bobsey…
[Heenan] Yes.
[Roddy] …with André and you had half a ton of beef, it is an offset match,
what kind of strategy would you give The Bushwhackers?
[Heenan] Well, if I was managing The Bushwhackers, I'd commit suicide.
-[Gorilla] Oh, please. -[Roddy] Hey, listen.
Do you think we can get you the gig?
[chuckles] I mean, at least maybe we get you a job in Russian parliament.
-[Heenan] Hey, I could handle… -[Roddy] Any way we can get it done,
-you know. -[Heenan] I could handle their problems.
But I'll tell you, the secret to beating The Natural Disasters,
two ways, you get them down or you don't show up.
[Roddy] Good points.
[Heenan] Because you're not gonna stand up and fight them.
Over a half a ton in there.
[Roddy] You got a point, Boobs.
[Heenan] I do?
-[Roddy] Well, uh, kind of. -[Gorilla] Look at this.
You really don't know when you do and when you don't, do you?
[Heenan] I just wanted to check his answer.
-[Roddy] Oh. Look. [laughs] -[crowd chatter]
[Roddy] Take a hunk out!
[Gorilla] It's late lunch time here in The Big Apple.
They don't let Butch in London because he's too much pit bull.
[Heenan] Whoa!
[Gorilla] Earthquake just nailed his own partner.
Look at this, double slingshot on the Typhoon, yes.
[Roddy] Tons of fun!
[Heenan] I'll tell you one thing.
The Bushwhackers don't seem to be concerned with how big they are.
They're taking the fight to them.
[Gorilla] The battering ram.
[Roddy] They got them like…
[Gorilla] Double clothesline, and Earthquake goes down!
[crowd cheering]
[Roddy laughs] They're falling like flies around a no-pest strip!
[Heenan] I never thought I'd see this.
The Bushwhackers stomping around the ring
and The Natural Disasters out on the floor.
[Gorilla] And André loving every moment of it.
[Roddy] And you know, The Natural Disasters,
they may have the weight,
but The Bushwhackers, they're Americana inside.
They got the heart.
[crowd chatter]
[Gorilla] Yeah, but it only takes a couple of shots like that, Rod…
[Roddy] But their back ain't so good right now.
[Gorilla] …to turn to tide immediately. Look out.
[Heenan] You know what? Butch, Luke, and André in there,
which one is Larry, Darryl, and Darryl?
[Gorilla] What?
Will you be serious?
[Heenan] I get confused.
[Roddy] Uh, yeah, you've been confused as long as I've known you.
[Gorilla] Snapmare by the big guy.
[Roddy] Ring the bell. It's over.
-Just a matter of time. -[Gorilla] It is not.
-[Roddy] Oh! -[Gorilla] Oh, boy.
He took a whole lot of time to do that.
[Roddy] I think The Bushwhackers may be playing a little possum here
as part of their battle plan because they set up The Natural Disasters
-a couple of times tremendously. -[Jimmy Hart repeatedly] Pull him back!
[Roddy] They know the tag, Butch knows he's in trouble.
[Jimmy Hart] Get him! Get him!
[Heenan] Nobody's back can take that much punishment.
[Gorilla] Listen to that little runt screaming instructions.
[Heenan] Wouldn't you just like to slap him or…
-[Gorilla] Ah. -[Heenan] Just one time.
[Roddy laughs] That's all it'll take.
And credit where credit's due.
You know, you can say what you want to about The Natural Disasters,
but Earthquake, I don't care,
he's one strong man.
I have seen him in the gym.
Typhoon, check him out right now.
-Look at this. -[Gorilla] Oh!
[Roddy] Imagine the weight behind that.
We're talking balloon payment there, baby.
Come on.
[Gorilla] What did André say?
[Heenan] Just a moment, thank you very much.
Um, I just got word that Hulk Hogan is in Madison Square Garden now.
He's in his dressing room.
And I'm gonna get up from my announce position here
and I'm gonna go to his dressing room.
And I am gonna play, "Put up or shut up,"
and let's see what kind of a man Hogan is.
He's trapped now
and I'm going to go and embarrass him right now.
[Gorilla] Are you leaving?
That's the best news I've heard all night.
[Roddy] Truly, but I-- what do you mean put up or shut up?
[Gorilla] He's crazy, you know that?
-[Roddy] But he's leaving though. -[Gorilla] He is.
[Roddy] Look at-- look at Butch. Butch is in trouble!
[Gorilla] I hope he has a nice trip.
Bear hug by the big guy.
Get out any way you can.
[Roddy] And look at the technique, you gotta give Earthquake credit.
He was dropping elbows to the back.
First thing he did, bear hug to the back.
Let's see if Typhoon follows up on the punishment to the back.
[yells]
[Roddy] Elbow lands on the back.
It counts. Two--
-All right, Cousin Luke. -[Gorilla] Save made.
[Jimmy Hart] Come on now. Come on, baby. You got him.
-[Roddy] Come on… -[Gorilla] You know, Hot Rod,
it's obvious to me The Bushwhackers
don't have enough in their arsenal
to really put a hurt on The Disasters.
[Roddy] Well, I think what they need to do is they need to go for the wheels.
They need to get the pins, the legs out from under them.
If they got a mass like that,
if they don't have the legs, they cannot stand up.
[Gorilla] What-- is this guy sick?
Just walking out of this international broadcast,
just throwing his headset down,
and get up, and walk out of Madison Square Garden here.
Why? Because he found out that the Hulk is in his dressing room?
[Roddy] Like this is news.
Of course he's in his dressing room.
Yes, he is sick, Boobs.
[Gorilla] You don't know what's going through that sick mind of his.
[Roddy] Ha! And I don't want to.
The Bushwhackers!
[Gorilla] Oh, look out, battering ram.
Nails him, but didn't send him down.
Another one nails Typhoon, but he doesn't go down.
Oh, that will knock one of them down and maybe both of them.
Whoa, André stuck that crutch right in his kisser.
-It was close. -[Roddy] There's that old philosophy,
"The bigger they are, the harder they fall,"
but they don't fall that often.
[Gorilla] Hey, as long as they don't fall on top of you.
[Roddy] Agreed. Come one, Luke.
Twist, we're talking Oreo.
[Gorilla] Now they make a tag, huh?
[Roddy] Bushwhackers are gonna have to start moving
or start talking to André, one of the two.
[Gorilla] Uh-oh. Look out.
[Roddy] Oh, no.
[Gorilla] Perhaps the beginning of the end
for The Bushwhackers.
-Earthquake coming. -[Roddy] No!
-[Roddy] Wow! -[Gorilla] Oh, nailed him.
Forget about it.
-[Roddy] Wow! -[bell ringing]
[Gorilla] Nobody's gonna survive that.
[Roddy] Baby, that was a ten on the Richter scale.
[Howard] Here are your winners,
The Natural Disasters!
["Quaker Shake" playing]
[Gorilla] Boy, what a valiant effort The Bushwhackers put up there, Rod.
[Roddy] The Bushwhackers-- oh, look at this.
Look at André.
André's got that cane, oh, the crutch,
brace, whatever you wanna call it.
[Gorilla] They're looking to do a number on the big guy now.
[Jimmy Hart] Get André. Come on…
[Gorilla] André just about mobile, got one crutch in the air swinging.
-The other one-- oh, look at this. -[crowd cheering]
[Roddy] Look out. LOD!
It stands for, "Look out, dummy!"
[Gorilla] It's Animal and Hawk!
[Roddy] All right!
[Gorilla] Out of nowhere.
[crowd cheering]
[Roddy] Look at that.
Got them cornered,
The Bushwhackers behind,
LOD in front,
André to the side.
[Gorilla] They want out of there and out of there in the worst way.
-["Walkabout" playing] -[Roddy] But they're still the winners.
[Gorilla] Natural Disasters won the battle,
but they may have lost the war, Rod.
[Roddy] They started it with LOD.
They started it with André.
They're gonna have to try to keep on a roll.
[Gorilla] Tremendous effort by those guys,
but obviously wasn't enough
to put away the two big behemoths,
The Natural Disasters.
I understand that we've got things going on back in the locker room area.
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan is in fact
at the Hulk's dressing room door.
Come on, dummy, I don't have all day. I'm a busy man.
Right here is the dressing room of the WWE Champion, Hulk Hogan.
And I'm gonna embarrass him.
I'm gonna show you what kind of a man he is.
Hogan, open the door. I'm a busy man.
Wait till you see this.
[clears throat] On behalf of the real world's champion, Ric Flair,
I would like to challenge you, Hogan, at any time, any place--
Who do you think you're embarrassing? You hear me?
You wouldn't do that if Ric Flair was standing here.
You hear-- you hear me?
Turn that camera off! Turn that damn thing off!
-[laughs] -Oh, I love it.
-Did you see that? -That's not the first door
he's had slammed in his face.
That's why he ain't married. [laughs]
The Brain obviously not getting through to The Hulkster,
but I can understand.
I've been led to believe that hundreds of you are literally
getting through on our special 1-900 attach number.
I've always been an honest type of person when I had to.
Yeah, I'm, uh, petrified.
That's the bottom line there.
Wouldn't you be in front of 20,000 people live?
Uh-huh. Yeah, okay.
You're honest about that, but I'm gonna tell you something else.
Yeah. I think I got everything ready.
I'm gonna be dressed to the max, yeah, to the tens, yeah.
Because I know Elizabeth is also-- what was that?
Uh-huh. Ooh, wow.
Yeah. Unbelievable.
Yeah, you shouldn't, uh, talk so directly like that
because we haven't known each other that long.
Where am I going in the honeymoon? Uh-huh.
Well, Elizabeth doesn't know
and it's a secret that I'm gonna spring on her.
And I don't know that you're gonna call her up in a second
and get Elizabeth's answer or whatever, and then feed her the information.
All of a sudden, everybody knows the surprise.
Yeah. How do you stop a rumor?
Bottom line.
Ted DiBiase, we are just moments away from the match
-for the Million Dollar belt. -I can't wait!
And right now, I can't help but recall some of the humiliating services.
You forced your former bodyguard Virgil to perform.
For example, you had him clean the fungus from between your toes.
[Ted laughing hysterically]
[Sean] Also, you made him remove the dirt from your boots.
Not to mention the constant verbal abuse the former bodyguard had to endure.
Pick it up.
[crowd jeering]
[laughing hysterically]
Like I said a million times,
everybody has a price for The Million Dollar Man.
You see that look, that look of humiliation on Virgil's face?
Well, that look is minute by comparison
to the humiliation that you're gonna suffer tonight, Virgil,
in just a few minutes at the hands of The Million Dollar Man.
You come to face the master, to challenge the master,
in my city, New York City, for my Million Dollar belt?
Well, you better go and cancel all those plans of celebration that you have.
And you remember the gutter
that I told you I was gonna leave you laying in face down?
Well, you're in a city full of gutters, so take your pick, Virgil.
But just to show you that I am not a totally insensitive man,
I have left you with one small token.
Sherri.
Here it is, Virgil, your crying towel.
[laughs hysterically]
Let's get out to the ring. Back to you, Gorilla.
[Roddy] Steal their lunch. I don't know.
Uh-oh, this is the one I've been waiting for.
-[Howard] …it is scheduled for one fall. -["It's All About the Money" playing]
-[Howard] Coming down the aisle… -[Heenan] There she is, The Queen of Mean.
[Howard] …with the Sensational Sherri, making his…
[Gorilla] The diamonds and the gold on the line.
The Million Dollar belt up for grabs.
But Hot Rod, The Million Dollar Man was very explicit.
He wants this handled and made sure it was in the contract
that this is just like any other title match here in the WWE.
The title can only change hands on a pinfall or submission.
[Roddy] Which proves to me he's looking for a way out and he's nervous.
Boy, look at that.
Leona Helmsley's got nothing on The Queen of Mean here, baby.
I kissed Sherri one time, you know that?
-[Gorilla] You did what? -[Roddy] I kissed her one time.
[Gorilla] Did you get a foot-and-mouth disease shot?
-[Roddy] No. No, but I almost fell in. -[Gorilla] Oh.
[Roddy] Baby, if she don't shave every morning, she becomes a shrub.
[Gorilla] Golden opportunity here for the former bodyguard, Virgil,
to walk out of Madison Square Garden a very wealthy man.
-[Roddy] Whoa-ho, the lotto winner. -["Poetic Devastation" playing]
[Howard] And his opponent and challenger…
-[Gorilla] Listen to the ovation here. -[Howard] …weighing 250 pounds,
Virgil!
[crowd cheering]
[Gorilla] What an intense look on his face, Hot Rod.
[Roddy] Come on, Virg!
I spent a little time with Virgil a little earlier.
[Gorilla] I know you did.
[Roddy] About an hour and half drinking skim milk.
[laughs] Hey, Virg!
[Gorilla] High five from Virgil for the Hot Rod.
Mwah. Get him.
["Poetic Devastation" playing]
-[bell ringing] -[Gorilla] Oh, look at this.
-[Roddy exclaims] -[crowd cheering]
[Gorilla] The bell has gone. We're underway in this one.
[Roddy] Turn him back, Virgil!
Yes!
-[crowd cheering] -[Roddy] Yes!
[Gorilla] Clothesline and a beauty by Virgil.
He's on fire.
[Roddy] Beautiful, coming out strong.
[Gorilla] Oh, a 360 and out of there!
[crowd cheering and applauding]
[Roddy] Get away from there, you rag doll!
Sherri's got a lot in common with Madonna.
[Gorilla] You know, you don't wanna get a count-out here, Hot Rod.
[Roddy] No.
[Gorilla] You know, you'll get the purse money for this match,
but you won't get the belt.
[Roddy] We're talking a million bucks and we've talked about that.
You noticed Virgil just took the referee, pushed the referee back?
That stopped the count.
Virgil now getting out of the ring.
Referee has gotta start a new count.
We got DiBiase figured out.
[Gorilla] I hope.
-[Roddy] Oh. -[Gorilla] Oh, right into the steel steps.
-[Roddy] Whoa! -[referee] Now! Let's go, one…
[Roddy] Take it to him, Virgil.
Remember.
[Gorilla] Virgil, obviously, in excellent physical condition, and some of that…
And I'm sure a lot of that gotta be attributed to you too, Hot Rod.
[Roddy] Okay. But bottom line is-- and you know this, Gorilla,
if you don't get out and do that road work yourself,
then you're not gonna get it done.
And Virgil has done it all himself.
He's got the guts. He's got the courage.
And look at that, he's got the moves.
[Gorilla] Atomic drop sends DiBiase out and over the top.
[Roddy] Baby, this is a million-dollar payback for Virgil
for all the humiliation.
Hey, DiBiase, how'd you like that cow poo-poo wiped off your boots now, huh?
[Gorilla] What we need to do is get it out of your mouth.
-Uh-oh. -[Roddy] Oh, no.
[Gorilla] The return of…
[Roddy] I was just starting to have fun.
[Gorilla] …Mr. Lucky.
[Roddy laughs] Hey.
Hey, Bob. So how did it go?
-Hey, Boobs. -Boy, nice job you did…
-Hey, yeah. -…out there in the hallway.
-How'd it go there, Bob? -Hey, I'll tell you something.
You looked good.
If Ric Flair would have knocked on that door,
Hogan would have dropped to his knees,
surrender the World Wrestling Entertainment title…
-[Gorilla] Will you be serious? -[Heenan] He took a cheap shot at me.
He didn't wanna match wits with me.
He didn't wanna even talk to me.
He's trying-- he thinks he embarrassed me?
He's dead wrong. Nobody embarrasses me.
-[Gorilla] Huh. -[Roddy] Hey, Boobs,
did that kind of remind you of Halloween when you were a kid?
[laughs]
[Gorilla] Both men down on the concrete.
[Roddy] Look at Sherri begging.
[crowd chattering]
[Gorilla] Virgil in a whole lot of trouble here.
[Roddy] Come on, Virgil.
Sherri's very upset.
Sherri understands there's trouble here.
[Gorilla] She could lose a meal ticket.
[Roddy laughs] Oh, baby.
From the way she looks, it'll be hard to get another meal.
[crowd chanting] Virgil! Virgil! Virgil!
[Heenan] What's happened since I've been gone?
-[Gorilla] What's happened? -[Heenan] Yeah.
[Roddy] Oh, we've been having fun, but you're back.
Million Dollar belt is on the line here, Brain.
[Roddy] Ah!
[Heenan] The usual.
DiBiase is cleaning up the arena with Virgil.
[Roddy] Come on, Virgil.
Remember, Virgil.
[Heenan] The life you save may be your own.
-[Roddy] Ugh! -[Gorilla] Once again,
banged head first
right into the steel steps.
[Roddy] Virgil able to catch himself a little bit.
We've talked about endurance earlier.
We've talked about what if you get that?
What a shot by DiBiase.
I've talked about absorbing punishment.
I've talked about catching your breath.
Talked about let DiBiase punch himself out.
We said it might require a lot of pain, Virgil.
First thing Virgil said is, "I ain't scared of nothing."
[Gorilla] Well, he's certainly given DiBiase a chance to punch himself out,
but it's Virgil who's getting punched.
[Roddy] Yes.
But sometimes, you gotta take a couple of shots, Gorilla,
to get where you wanna go.
[Heenan] He's taken more than a couple of shots.
[Gorilla] DiBiase making the motion there, "The belt belongs to me."
[Roddy] Oh!
[Gorilla] "And now I'm gonna humiliate you like I've done in the past."
Something's gonna change.
[Heenan] One thing about DiBiase,
you don't mess with his money or the Million Dollar belt.
Virgil had a nice push job.
All he had to do was keep his mouth shut
and do what he was told, he would have been taken care of.
[Gorilla] Are you kidding?
[Heenan] He was making enough a month to get by.
-[Gorilla] Please. -[Roddy] Oh, nice.
That's the American way, right?
Just get by, right?
[Gorilla] Look out, DiBiase on the second turnbuckle on the inside,
about to make a move here.
Double axe handle and a beauty right between the eyes of Virgil.
-[crowd cheering] -[crowd booing]
[Roddy] Virgil is so-- Virgil…
Virgil did take a shot,
but Virgil is on his belly.
We've talked about this early-- oh, DiBiase rolling him over.
-[Gorilla] Hooks the leg. -[Roddy] Kick out!
-[Gorilla] Two-count. -Two!
-[Gorilla] Whoa, was that close. -[Roddy] Too close. Too close.
[Gorilla] Virgil just kicking out at the last split second
or one-tenth of a second.
Oh.
[Roddy] DiBiase's got a ferocity here I've never seen before.
[Heenan] Can you imagine, Piper?
-[Roddy] Yes? -[Heenan] If that dummy, Virgil,
was to win the Million Dollar belt
with all that diamond and gold,
he'd probably go out and have a bronze.
[Gorilla] Please.
[Roddy] I'll tell him you said so.
[Heenan] Please, be my guest.
[Gorilla] Oh, two-count again as he had the leg hooked,
but couldn't get the three-count.
[Roddy] Come on, Virgil. Look where you are.
Get up!
[Gorilla] Talking about having something bronze, look at your hands.
They're all green. What have you been holding?
-[Heenan] I've been holding the belt… -[Gorilla] Oh.
[Heenan] …of the real world's heavyweight champion.
[Gorilla] Oh, ducked underneath, Virgil from behind!
-[Roddy] All right! -[Gorilla] Slap it on,
the Million Dollar Dream, right in the center of the ring!
[Roddy] Hang on, Virgil! Hang on!
[Heenan] I'm telling you, it's not bad enough
if he would-- if he would win this match.
But to be beat with your own hold,
that's really a slap in the face.
[Gorilla] Sherri going crazy and so are they here in the Garden.
Oh, look out. She's coming in the ring.
-[Roddy] Oh, no. No, not like that. -[Gorilla] Oh, no.
-[Roddy] No, not a DQ. -[bell ringing]
[Roddy] The belt cannot change hands on a DQ.
What a cheap way.
We were talking about the Million Dollar belt,
not like this.
-Come on, ref. -[Gorilla] Referee called for the bell.
[Roddy] Not a DQ, please.
[Gorilla] Disqualification would not give the belt to Virgil.
-[Heenan] Well, he was… -[Roddy] He worked so hard for this.
[Gorilla] Let's find out. Let's go to our ring announcer.
[Howard] Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please?
The referee has every right to disqualify The Million Dollar Man…
-[Roddy] No. -[Howard] …for outside interference.
-[Roddy] No. -[crowd cheering]
-[Heenan] It's okay. He keeps the belt. -[Howard] However,
the referee has rendered an official decision
and it is as follows.
Number one, he is ordering
that the Sensational Sherri return to her dressing room now…
-[Roddy] Yes. -[Howard] …or face permanent suspension.
-[Heenan] He can't do that. -[Roddy] What's number two?
[Gorilla] Oh, yes, he can.
[Heenan] No, she's got a license as a manager.
I don't believe he can do that.
[Roddy] Shut up, Bobby. What's number two?
[Howard] And number two, the referee has further ruled
that the match between The Million Dollar Man
and Virgil will continue.
-[Heenan] No. -[Roddy] Yes. Yes.
-Yes. -[crowd cheering]
[Gorilla] Listen to this ovation and look at Sherri.
She's got a line of officials there from the World Wrestling Entertainment.
She's gonna have to go.
[Roddy] She's used to getting thrown out of places.
[Heenan] That's not fair. That's not fair…
-[Roddy] All right. Confront him. -[Heenan] …giving Virgil another chance.
[Gorilla] I suppose her jumping in the ring is fair too, Brain.
[Heenan] No, but disqualify him.
-Give the match to Virgil. -[Roddy] Get her out of here.
[Heenan] But don't give him another opportunity
to win the Million Dollar belt.
[Gorilla] She's out of here and this match continues on.
[Roddy] Hey, this match now is a lot more
than just the Million Dollar belt and money.
We're talking Virgil's pride,
Virgil's heritage,
everything Virgil has worked for.
Virgil's belt is on the line.
[Heenan] Virgil has no pride.
[Roddy] You're gonna-- you're gonna regret that, Heenan.
-Yes. -[Gorilla] Nice block,
and another block by Virgil as he goes downstairs.
[Roddy] Get him, Virg. Come on, Virg.
[Gorilla] Virgil reaching now for that little something extra.
[crowd] Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
[Heenan] Sure. He got another chance.
He had time to lay on the mat and rest. He had time to go but…
[Roddy] He didn't-- he didn't get another chance.
Sherri hit him with her purse with something loaded in it.
You call that another chance?
[Heenan] No, they go by the rules.
Disqualify the man.
Give the match to Virgil,
but he shouldn't get another chance to win the Million Dollar belt.
[Roddy] Hey, that's supposed to be man against man and that's what it is now.
Now, we'll tell. Come on.
[Gorilla] Beautiful slingshot into the corner by Virgil.
Don't be asking anybody, Virg. Just do it.
[crowd] …five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
[crowd cheering]
[Roddy] Come on, Virg. Go to work.
[Gorilla] DiBiase absorbing a whole lot of punishment here.
[Roddy] You got to suck it up now, Virgil.
I know you're tired, but this is what champions are made out of.
Think of what he did to you.
-[Heenan] Uh-oh. -[Gorilla] Double reversal and--
oh, the referee went down, got sandwiched
right between Virgil and the corner post.
[Heenan] DiBiase has to take his time now.
He doesn't wanna rush things.
Because if he pins Virgil or beats Virgil right now,
the referee is not in position to count.
He's gotta get his wind back.
He's gotta get himself in shape, but keep Virgil down.
[Gorilla] Virgil, for all intents and purposes, seems down and out of it.
[Heenan] Virgil was down and out the day he met DiBiase
and he's still gonna be down and out.
[Roddy] He ain't gonna be down and out tonight.
-Virgil, you get up now. -Piper!
You see your protégé?
Now, he pays the price.
-[crowd cheering] -Come on, Virgil.
You get up now.
Yes.
[Heenan] This is the beginning of the end for Virgil.
[Gorilla] Suplex and a beauty…
-[Heenan] See? -[Gorilla] …well executed.
[Heenan] What did I tell you? DiBiase knows what he's doing.
He's getting his wind back, but he's keeping Virgil beat.
-[Gorilla] Referee, just now… -[Roddy] Oh, not again.
[Gorilla] …is starting to come to his senses.
Another suplex coming up…
-[Roddy] Oh, no. -[Gorilla] …by The Million Dollar Man.
[Heenan] I hope Virgil didn't do anything stupid
and put a down payment on anything…
-[Gorilla] Will you stop? -[Heenan] …like a boom box or anything.
[Roddy] Virgil, you remember what we said champions were made out of?
You remember talking to your mom?
You remember talking to your dad earlier today?
-[Gorilla] And still another one. -[Roddy] You think about it.
Come on, Virgil.
[Heenan] He's keeping him down, Piper.
He's keeping him beaten.
[Roddy] Come on, Virgil.
You can make it.
I got another one for you, Piper.
[Gorilla] Uh-oh.
It ain't for me.
Come on, Virgil.
You can make it.
[Gorilla] Oh, look at this humiliation.
[crowd chanting] Roddy! Roddy! Roddy…
[Roddy] Come on.
[Gorilla] They're on their feet here chanting, Roddy.
Look out. Piledriver.
[Heenan] Two suplexes, a piledriver.
-[Roddy] Virgil, kick out. -[Heenan] Now, he's ready.
[Roddy] Kick out.
-[Heenan] It's over. -[Roddy] Kick out.
[Gorilla] Oh, that's not the referee's count there.
-[Heenan] Ring the bell. -[Gorilla] Referee is still out of it
over in his own corner of the ring.
-[Roddy] No. Virgil. -[Gorilla] Oh.
What is that?
[Heenan] Waking him up the way The Million Dollar Man wakes people up.
[Gorilla] DiBiase just pointed to Hot Rod and said, "One more."
[Roddy] I cannot believe the arrogance of DiBiase.
[Gorilla] Oh, look at this.
[Roddy] Now, look at what he's doing. Referee…
[Gorilla] He's freeing up the turnbuckle pad,
exposing the steel in the corner,
obviously, with intentions of ramming Virgil's head into it.
[Roddy] Virgil, watch where you are.
Watch where you are, Virgil.
[Gorilla] Virgil, just about conscious.
[Heenan] He's talking to him. Look at this.
[Roddy] Damn it, Virgil. Wake up.
Virgil.
[Gorilla] Oh, Virgil just shoved him in at the last minute.
-It's DiBiase who went into the steel. -[crowd cheering]
[Heenan] But Virgil doesn't know where he is right now.
Virgil has no idea that DiBiase's down.
[Roddy] Now is the time, Virgil.
Now is the time to suck it up.
[Heenan] The referee is up.
[Gorilla] Both men on their backs,
-referee giving a count here. -[Roddy] Cover.
[Gorilla] He's laying the count on both men.
[Roddy] Get up, Virgil.
[Heenan] What happens if there's a double count-out?
[Gorilla] Well, if there's a double count-out, the match is a draw.
[Roddy] This man, Virgil, has trained so hard,
has gone through so much.
[Heenan] Then that means DiBiase keeps his Million Dollar belt.
[Gorilla] If it's a double count-out, yes.
[Heenan] Great.
-DiBiase, stay down. -[Roddy] He's crawling.
-[Gorilla] Look at Virgil crawling. -[Roddy] Virgil, cover him.
[Gorilla] Referee is up to about seven or eight now.
[Heenan] That's how Virgil looked when he applied
-for the job. -[Gorilla] Oh, look at this.
[crowd] One, two, three.
-[Heenan] No, no, no. -[Roddy] He did it.
[bell ringing]
-[Roddy] Yeah! -["Poetic Devastation" playing]
[Roddy] Virgil's the one with the gold now.
-[Howard] The winner of this match… -[Heenan] Well, Virgil never beat the man.
-The ring beat the man. -[Howard] …and new
Million Dollar Champion,
Virgil.
[Roddy] Oh, it's beautiful.
[Heenan] What a waste of money.
[Roddy] What a fight.
Yes.
["Poetic Devastation" continues]
[Roddy] I don't think I've ever been happier for a man
in my entire life.
Virgil, you did your work right!
Oh, whoa. Excuse me. I got carried away.
What was it you were saying, Boobs?
[Heenan] The next time you see that belt, it'll probably be hanging from the mirror
of a 1979 Caddy driven by Virgil into the--
[Gorilla] We have our new Million Dollar Champion…
-[Heenan] A disgrace. -[Gorilla] …in the form of Virgil.
What a victory here in Madison Square Garden.
He did indeed win the lottery
here in Madison Square Garden.
[Heenan] But there's gonna be taxes that have to be paid, I guarantee it.
[Roddy] All right.
[Gorilla] Virgil with a hard-fought victory and well-deserved belt.
Let's go to "Mean" Gene.
All right. As the celebration takes place out on the arena
here at Madison Square Garden,
I'm here along with the corrections officers
from New York City and The Mountie.
And as I recall, you had backup of another kind some time ago.
Let's take a look.
I am an international law officer
and there's nothing--
-I said nothing… -[electricity crackles]
…that you can do about it.
The Mountie always gets his man, Boss Man.
[Gene] I think Big Boss Man not soon to forget those actions.
And, by the way, tonight after your match,
one of the other is headed for the pokey, Mountie.
This is the way it's gonna happen "Mean" Gene Okerlund.
After I've done beat your fat mug, Big Boss Man,
these little local hick cops are gonna come and grab you
and they're gonna handcuff your hands, and they're gonna take you.
And I don't want you gentlemen to do it the New York style.
I want you gentleman to do it The Mountie kind of justice.
If he fights back, I want you to drag him through these halls.
And once we get back here,
we wanna can him in this little old paddy wagon.
And once he gets in here, it'll be your job to shackle his ankles,
make sure he doesn't run away,
shut the doors, and throw the key away
and bring him to that local New York caboose house.
And we'll see you there, Boss Man.
All right. I thank you very much.
Let's get an opposing point of view.
Standing by right now is Sean Mooney.
Big Boss Man, after what we just witnessed,
it is clear there is no question in the mind of The Mountie
just who is going to win the Jailhouse match tonight.
I believe The Mountie has the wrong idea.
He shouldn't be out there talking to New York City's finest
on how to treat me.
He should be on his hands and knees talking to the man upstairs,
praying to God that he makes it through until tomorrow morning
because he's gonna be the one
who spends a long, hard night in jail.
-[bell ringing] -[Gorilla] Somebody's going to the slammer
-here in The Big Apple. -[Howard] The following contest…
[Roddy] Whoa, baby.
[Heenan] Can you imagine spending all night in jail
with rats, cockroaches, bums,
muggers, thieves, derelicts?
-I wouldn't want it. -[Gorilla] How was it?
[Roddy] Just like being at home for you, huh?
[Heenan] I beg your pardon.
[Howard] …The Mountie.
[Roddy] Going to jail for the night, huh?
And The Mountie wants the New York City Police Department
not to be respectful the way they are,
not to be nice about arresting him.
They want them to be rough.
Well, I hope you lose
and I hope they take your advice, Mountie.
[Gorilla] You know, Hot Rod, if this guy loses,
if The Mountie loses, they should take that little runt to jail as well.
-["Hard Times" playing] -[Roddy] Good idea.
[Heenan] They'd like Jimmy in jail.
[Howard] …weighing 337 pounds…
[Gorilla] Big Boss Man in there like The Flash.
[Heenan] He's got his stick,
but The Mountie's got his stick
and he's got electricity in his stick.
That's the difference.
♪ You'll be serving hard times ♪
♪ He carries a big stick A ball and chain too ♪
[Gorilla] Intensity on the face of The Mountie…
-[bell ringing] -[Gorilla] …on the face of the Boss Man.
This is gonna be a classic.
[Heenan] Once and for all, we're gonna know--
I know, but what everybody's gonna know
who is the real law and order in the World Wrestling Entertainment.
And I believe it's the man in the red shirt.
[Roddy] Well, I believe it's the man in the blue shirt.
[crowd chatter]
[speaks indistinctly]
[Gorilla] Well, you're each entitled to your opinion.
-Oh. -[Roddy exclaims] What a right cross.
[Gorilla] While The Mountie was running his mouth,
the Boss Man just dropped him.
[Roddy] There's The Boss with the sauce right there, boss.
[crowd chatter]
-[Roddy] Ooh. -[Gorilla] Nice uppercut.
[crowd chatter]
-[Roddy] Oh. -[Gorilla] Oh.
Irish whip and-- look out. Elbow finds the mark.
-Big splash. -[Roddy] Count, count.
[Gorilla] Nope, couldn't get him.
[Heenan] I'm gonna get the Boss Man a pack of cigarettes.
[Gorilla] Are you leaving again?
[Heenan] Oh, I'm gonna take him some cigarettes.
[Gorilla] I was hoping you'd…
What do you mean take him some cigarettes?
-[Heenan] I am. -[Gorilla] He doesn't even smoke.
[Heenan] No, but he's gonna need them to bribe the screws.
[Gorilla] Will you stop?
Get up, boy.
[Roddy] So much on the line,
the humiliation of actually getting arrested,
having the cuffs put on you,
drugged, and put in Fort Apache, poof. For someone…
[Heenan] Having a record, Rod.
-[Roddy] Having a record? -[Heenan] Well, you're arrested.
-[Roddy] No. -[Heenan] They're gonna fingerprint you,
picture you, and throw you in a cell with who knows what,
-the dredges of society. -[Roddy] You know…
[Heenan] Of course, Boss Man will be right at home.
[Gorilla] Oh, look out.
The Boss Man made a nice move there,
slide out, almost got his hands on that little runt, Jimmy Hart.
[Heenan] If he worries about Jimmy Hart,
he's gonna have to worry about who's gonna be his cellmate tonight.
[Gorilla] Oh, thumb right in the eye.
[Heenan] Because he's gotta beat that Mountie.
[Roddy] This is turning into a brawl too.
We've had punches exchanged.
They have tried wrestling maneuvers.
They have just gone for the eyes.
Now it's highflying.
[Gorilla] Oh, Boss Man catches him in midair.
What a power display here by the Big Boss Man.
Where is he gonna dump him?
Oh. He nailed him.
[Roddy] What's that tinkle, tinkle I hear?
[Jimmy Hart] Come on, baby. You're not the law and order!
You'll never be law and order!
There's only one law and order, and it's the Mountie!
[Gorilla] Jimmy Hart, doing his job
trying to distract the Big Boss Man,
but he's obviously on the straight and narrow right now.
Look at, he's trying to tear that head right off his shoulders.
[Jimmy Hart] Come on. Come on, you can do it. Get up, baby.
Get up now. You can do it, baby.
[Roddy] But I would have figured the Boss Man
would've tried to go for a pin there.
I'm surprised that he's trying to wear Mountie down
and I'm surprised that the Boss Man
is falling for Jimmy's tactics of distraction.
[Gorilla] What an evening here on SummerSlam.
-From the outside rope… -[Roddy] Oh.
[Gorilla] From the back side, right into the steel steps.
[Roddy] Jeez.
[Roddy] He's fallen and he can't get up.
-[Gorilla] Will you stop? -[Roddy laughs]
We got a worldwide television audience here
and boy, have they been treated royally so far.
We've seen the Intercontinental belt change hands.
We've seen Virgil become the new Million Dollar Champion.
And now were gonna see somebody go to the slammer.
[Heenan] Look at the Boss Man,
he should get used to sleeping on the floor
because that's where he's gonna be tonight.
[Jimmy Hart] All right. That's what it's all about.
The Mountie is the only law and order.
The Mountie is the only law and order, baby.
[Heenan] That's right, Jimmy.
[Gorilla] What a fountain of misinformation.
[Roddy] Uh-huh. I'd like to stick him in a piece of bread.
He could be the file.
[Gorilla] Look out, elbow finds the mark by The Mountie.
Nice move, well executed.
[Roddy] The Boss Man was on a roll.
Everything was going his way,
until he fell for the tactics of the Mouth from the South.
Mountie comes from behind.
Once The Mountie gets you down,
he has the tendency to get his man.
-[Gorilla] He's relentless. -[Heenan] Piper, Piper, Piper.
Piper, don't blame Boss Man for chasing Jimmy Hart.
The guy never professed to be a Harvard graduate.
-He's not that bright a guy. -[Roddy] Oh, really?
[Gorilla] Irish whip by The Mountie, hard into the corner goes the Boss Man.
[Roddy] I wonder if Boss Man's mommy is gonna be baking him a cake.
[Heenan] Oh, you wanna start again?
Does your mom ever bake anything for you, Piper?
Oh, they were never home. That's right.
[Roddy] A little stiff there, Boobs.
[Heenan] They certainly didn't teach the Boss Man
that at the Harvard school of business.
[Gorilla] Hooks the leg, but only gets a two-count.
[Jimmy Hart] Come on. Watch out when he's down. Come on, man.
[Heenan] Come on. Beat that meter maid from Cobb County up.
[Roddy] Oh.
[Gorilla] Both guys throwing caution to the wind here,
unloading with those roundhouse rights.
Nice reversal now by the Boss Man.
-Whoa. -[Roddy] Oh.
[Gorilla] A split second too late.
[Heenan] I'll tell you--
[Roddy] Jimmy Hart's screaming at him,
"The Mountie always gets his man."
[Heenan] I'll tell you something, Boss Man,
you're not gonna be sleeping tonight with Otis.
And Aunt Bee is not gonna be bringing you cookies and cake.
And Andy and Barney aren't gonna let you out in the morning.
You're in for one horrible night.
[Roddy] Yeah, but if The Mountie does go to jail, maybe he will get his man.
[Gorilla] Elbow drop by The Mountie
and another one finds the mark right on the sternum.
-Over for the cover? -[Roddy] Kick out.
[Gorilla] Yes. Oh, look at, he didn't hook that leg up right?
[Roddy] No, sir. Technique, you cannot forget the basic.
It doesn't matter what kind of brawl it turns it into,
the basics of winning a match is the basics of wrestling.
You must hook the leg,
especially with a competitor like the Boss Man.
[Gorilla] Dropkick.
[Heenan] But were not dealing with finesse here.
These two guys are fighting.
They're fighting for a reputation
and they're fighting for their survival tonight.
[Gorilla] They're fighting to stay out of the can.
[Roddy] Yes.
Whoa, the strength.
Boss Man still got some vigor in him.
[Heenan] What the heck is Jimmy Hart trying to do with that?
What the hell is wrong with him?
[Gorilla] Excuse me, trying to save his man.
-Oh. -[Roddy] Oh.
[Gorilla] Clothesline city right on the apron.
[Heenan] He fell on his head, that's okay. It won't hurt him.
I don't wanna hear you people yelling for the Boss Man.
[Gorilla] Look at that little runt,
the greatest walking advertisement for birth control
I've ever seen, Hot Rod, Jimmy Hart.
You're going to jail, baby.
[Heenan] Come on, Boss Man. Get up. It's six o'clock in the morning.
Here's your cup of coffee and your one cigarette.
[Roddy] Oh, you know what time they get up in the pokey, do you?
[Heenan] I've watched Police Story before in Colombo. Huh!
[Roddy] Yeah. Yeah.
[Heenan] I think you're speaking from personal experience.
[Roddy] I can do 30 minutes on that, Boobs.
[Gorilla] Oh, nice uppercut by the Boss Man.
Whoa, and a roundhouse right
and retaliation by The Mountie.
Oh, he just bit him.
Mountie, pulling out all the stops here, going for a piledriver.
He can't get him up.
[Heenan] I don't think he's got anything left.
[Roddy] No, Boss Man's keeping a low bum on it, man.
-[Heenan] He's got him. -[Gorilla] Oh, no.
-[Roddy] Oh. -[Gorilla] Oh, he got the piledriver in,
it wasn't all that well-executed but under the circumstances.
[Roddy] Both men so tired,
both men are trying so hard.
He caught the Boss Man a good one there.
The Boss Man is hurt.
Could be a night in the pokey for the Boss Man.
[Heenan] I wonder if you'll get a tin cup to beat in the bars with.
[Roddy] Why is The Mountie waiting so long?
[Heenan] Well, he's giving Jimmy Hart a signal.
[Gorilla] Something's going on here, they got a plan, they got a play.
[Roddy] What's going on? All he's gotta do is cover him.
[Gorilla] Nobody ever said he was a mental giant, Hot Rod.
[Roddy] This is true.
[Heenan] Oh, he wants to zap him. He wants to zap him good.
-[Gorilla] He's got the zapper now. -[Roddy] Referee!
[Gorilla] He missed.
An uppercut by The Boss Man
and the cattle prod went flying.
[Roddy] Come on, get up, Boss Man, he's behind you.
Look at that little runt. Are you a rodent?
Jimmy Hart ran over and grabbed that stick
before the referee could see it.
[Gorilla] Leapfrog, I don't know how he did that one.
Whoa, Boss Man stings him.
Uppercut from the--
[Roddy] Mike Tyson, eat your heart out.
[Gorilla] I'm surprised his head's still on his shoulders.
Sends him in for the ride.
Oh, he nailed him with that patented move.
-[Roddy] Cover him. -[Gorilla] He's got him.
One, two, three.
-[Heenan] No. -[Roddy] Yes.
[Gorilla] That is a two-count only.
[Heenan] It shows you the fight that's still left in The Mountie.
[Roddy] Tonight, just look at the close counts we have.
Have you ever seen such splendid competition,
such drive in athletes?
[Gorilla] Trip from the backside by The Mountie,
still have enough collective thoughts left to do that.
[Heenan] He's The Mountie, he's law and order.
He's been telling you, you all know he's smarter than The Boss Man.
[Roddy] Oh, baloney.
[Heenan] Now, he's showing you that he's tougher than The Boss Man.
[Gorilla] Both of these guys are ripe for the pickings right now.
[Roddy] Both these guys are tough. I've been watching them.
Both these guys-- oh, wait.
[Heenan] What's this?
[Gorilla] Oh.
He knocked the wind right out of him.
-It's over. -[bell ringing]
-[Roddy] He got him! -[Heenan] Oh, no.
[crowd cheering]
[Gorilla] Look at Jimmy Hart running.
[Howard] The winner of the Jailhouse match,
the Big Boss Man.
["Hard Times" playing]
[Roddy] Gonna be doing that "Jailhouse Rock" now, baby. [laughs]
[Gorilla] Oh, look at The Boss Man calling for our law enforcement officers.
[Heenan] Oh, no. Oh, no.
This is bad.
I don't like the look of this.
[Gorilla] Cuff him, cuff him.
[Heenan] And the way The Mountie talked to these police officers
-just a few minutes ago. -[Roddy laughs]
What was that? "I don't want you to be nice and kind
like the New York City Police Department usually is."
"I want you to be rough like The Mounties."
Well, give it to him.
[Gorilla] The Mountie leading the way here,
our cameras are gonna follow him right out.
[Roddy laughs]
-[Mountie clamors indistinctly] -[Roddy laughs]
[Mountie] Stop it! You can't do this to me.
Come on, boy. I told you, get up.
[Mountie] You can't do this to me.
[Heenan] They're taking him directly now to the jail?
[Gorilla] Right to the paddy wagon.
[Heenan] Oh, my God.
-[Roddy laughing] -[indistinct clamor]
[Heenan] Kinda looks like Pee-wee.
They're not gonna let him change clothes or anything?
-[Gorilla] Forget about it. -[indistinct clamor]
[Roddy] Change clothes, what, you think when they arrest you,
they allow you to change clothes?
[Heenan] But he can't go to jail, you know--
[Mountie] You're hurting me! [screams]
You're hurting me! Jesus.
You're hurting me.
[Roddy] Get him in there.
[Gorilla] Into the paddy wagon.
[Mountie] I can't do this.
[Roddy] Beautiful.
-[Gorilla] Door is locked shut. -[Heenan] Oh, my God.
[Roddy] Gonna do the "Jailhouse Rock," baby.
[Boss Man] Bye-bye, jailbird.
-[siren whirring] -[Heenan] They're shackling him now.
[Roddy laughs]
[Gorilla] He doesn't look too happy,
The Mountie on his way out of Madison Square Garden.
[Roddy] This ain't gonna be no honeymoon.
[Heenan] That may be the last ride.
We may never see The Mountie again.
[Roddy] Fort Apache, baby.
[Heenan] The match made in heaven, the match made in hell.
This may be Mountie's night in hell.
[Gorilla] He's getting exactly what he deserved.
[Roddy] Do you expect me to feel sorry for him, Boobs?
[sirens wailing]
[Gorilla] Double cross as the paddy wagon
pulls out on the 33rd street
here in Manhattan headed for the slammer.
[Roddy] I never thought I'd like that sound.
-[Heenan] Oh, my God. -[Gorilla] He's on his way.
Right now, let's take you to "Mean" Gene Okerlund.
[Heenan] Uh-oh.
Well, Gorilla, I can assure you
it's not gonna be a night at the beach so to speak…
Shut up, Okerlund, I got something to say.
Can you believe this--
Never in the history of the World Wrestling Entertainment.
Never in the history of wrestling has there ever been a bigger rip off
than what happened here tonight. This man ripped me off.
This match should have never even started.
You talk about disqualification.
Virgil jumps me from behind, the bell should've rung.
It should've been over right there.
Why did he jump me?
Because he knows that's the only way he could ever have beat me.
Then the referee stops the match, rings the bell, kicks her out of ringside.
Jack Tunney stands behind that, should have never happened.
Let me tell you something, Virgil, you stole it.
That's the only way you can get it.
Just got a serious case of the Joneses, The Million Dollar Man.
Standing by right now, let's go to Sean Mooney.
Well, thank you, Gene.
Joining me, the new Intercontinental Champion
Bret "The Hitman" Hart. And, Bret, it has a great sound.
You know, it doesn't get any better than this.
This has got to be the greatest day for The Hitman.
I've waited a long time to prove to Mr. Perfect
that there's no such thing as perfect
and he got to find out the hard way
what the Excellence of Execution is all about.
Mr. Perfect, you just weren't good enough,
and you're looking at the World Wrestling Entertainment Intercontinental Champion.
Let's go over to "Mean" Gene Okerlund.
All right. With me at this time, The Natural Disasters.
Jimmy Hart, you got to be about-- concerned about The Mountie.
He's on his way to the slammer right now.
Get my lawyers on the phone.
I want my lawyers on the phone right now
because nobody's gonna get away with this.
We were ripped off. I'm telling you, "Mean" Gene…
Oh, please, Jimmy Hart, give me a break.
I want to right now talk to Earthquake and Typhoon.
Gentlemen, apparently, you stuck your noses in where it shouldn't belong.
Stuck it where it don't belong?
Legion of Doom, we're gonna eat you up, chew you up and spit you out.
What about it, Earthquake?
Legion of Doom, you are the ones that stuck your nose in our business.
It was our match.
We had the problem with André the Giant
and you prevented us from getting him.
You are history.
All right. Standing by right now, my colleague, once again,
Sean Mooney with the Big Boss Man.
Big Boss Man, you have to be very happy we just saw The Mountie,
he's on his way to spend a night with the New York City Police.
Sean Mooney, what kind of bird can't fly?
-You got me, Big Boss Man. -A jailbird.
That's exactly what the Canadian Mountie is.
This is just a small sample of what you got to look forward to.
That ride downtown,
you got to look forward to getting booked in
and getting thrown in that cell with God knows who,
but the plain and simple fact is,
I promised everybody in this country,
every man, woman, and child
that I am the law and order in the World Wrestling Entertainment,
and that is a fact now.
No more questions.
Canadian Mountie, you're just a criminal, a bad cop.
I am the law and order, plain and simple.
[Sean] Well, "Mean" Gene Okerlund is attempting to catch up
with the groom to be, the "Macho Man" Randy Savage.
Let's see if we can find Gene Okerlund.
All right. Thank you very much, Sean Mooney.
The "Macho Man" Randy Savage,
of course, is gonna be exchanging nuptials
with the lovely Elizabeth here at SummerSlam.
Macho Man, I know you're on the horn with the 900 number,
talking live to somebody right now.
Excuse me, Macho Man.
-Well, apparently-- -Excuse me for a second.
Wait a minute. I'm on the phone. Dig it?
Yeah. Uh-huh. Gene Okerlund. You know who Gene Okerlund is.
Well, apparently, I'm not gonna get an opportunity to talk with the Macho Man.
However, right next door in her dressing room,
and I'm sure she is just radiant,
and of course, always willing for a little conversation, Miss Elizabeth.
-I think I'll sneak over and talk to her. -[Macho Man] That ain't gonna happen.
No way. What are you, in a hurry for going to see somebody?
-What did you say? Elizabeth? -Apparently not.
You didn't-- Apparently is not her name.
-It's Elizabeth. And you said it's just… -All right. Thank you.
I think if you stayed here with me, that would be fine.
You don't mind making this a party line call,
-do ya? -I think that's the way it's gonna be.
With that, let's join our broadcast colleague,
Lord Alfred Hayes with all the latest news from the UK.
But in the meantime, here at stateside,
perhaps we could take a five-minute break.
-Five-minute break? -By the way,
call that 900 number right now.
-[laughs] -Yup. What do you want, bro?
Tell me right now.
[rock music playing]
[Gorilla] Well, we're back here at Madison Square Garden back at SummerSlam.
A lot of things still to come, the Match Made in Heaven,
and of course, the Match Made in Hell with a special guest referee,
Sid Justice who could be the determining factor on that one, Rod.
Which way is the wind gonna blow?
We don't know.
The Mountie all in the same block, dancing to the Jailhouse Rock.
And first of all, I never thought The Hitman would beat Mr. Perfect.
I never thought Virgil would walk out of here with The Million Dollar belt.
-You've never thought? -I never thought--
-I'm speaking, do you mind? -Excuse me.
-Woof, woof. -And I never thought
that The Mountie would be on his way to jail.
Now, but I have thought about Sid Justice
and I guarantee you, he's up to something.
-What makes you think that? -He's been too quiet.
Have you heard anything about him in the last hour or two hours,
-three hours or so? -No.
-Well, he's-- -So, what does that mean?
Well, a guy like Sid Justice makes noise.
Is that trying to tell you something or what?
A guy like Sid Justice makes noise.
Don't read something that isn't there, Brain.
-Give me a break. -Hey, if something happens,
-I said it first. -You know, the Macho Man
has been talking so much on that phone.
Maybe he won't have any voice left to say, "I do."
All he got to say is, "Oh, yeah."
I understand that that paddy wagon is just about to pull up to the slammer.
Jailhouse Rock, baby.
[officer 1] I think this is them now.
[Mountie] You can't do this to me.
-You know who I am? -[officer 2] Come on.
[Mountie] You can't do this to me.
[screams]
You can't do that.
-Oh. You stupid-- -Come on. Come on.
You know who I am?
I'm The Mountie.
Oh, oh, wait. Stop it.
We speak the same language.
Let me show you. You have the right to remain silent.
Oh. You have the right to an attorney.
Anything you say… [screams] …will be held against you
in a court of law.
We're the same.
You're local hick cops and I'm The Mountie.
I am The Mountie.
Well, not exactly a warm reception for The Mountie.
Let me tell you something you, baby.
They better not hurt one hair on The Mountie's head.
My lawyer is on the way to the police station right now as we speak.
Jimmy Hart-- Jimmy Hart, sir, you're gonna have to put The Mountie's problems aside
for the moment,
as The Nasty Boys prepare to defend the tag team belts
against The Legion of Doom.
Oh, baby.
LOD and Jack Tunney coagulated to make these rules.
Well, let me tell you, LOD,
Jack Tunney ain't coming to the ring with you.
It's just you and us, and you're going to Nastyville
and this is one trip you're not coming back from. [laughs]
Hey, let me tell you something.
Hawk, Animal, let me tell you,
no more crying, no more whining.
It's you against us for the gold.
The heat's on. It's melt in your face.
It's your last trip to Nastyville and you're going down.
Come on, Sags, let's get out of here.
No. Wait a minute, Jimmy Hart. I've just received word.
There is more going on at the jail with The Mountie.
Take a look right there.
[Mountie] You guys think you're tough guys?
Give me my shock stick.
Why don't you get that? No.
No. You're not taking my picture. No.
You're not taking-- you're not taking my picture.
[photographer] So I guess the Boss Man kicked your butt, huh?
-[camera clicks] -What? No.
You don't take my picture.
No.
Not exactly a picture for the wallet, Jimmy Hart.
They can't take pictures of The Mountie like that.
That's an invasion of privacy.
My lawyers will hear about this.
Right now, let's go over to "Mean" Gene Okerlund.
Somebody's gonna be in a lot of trouble over this right now.
Somebody's gonna be in a lot of trouble over this.
All right. Thank you, Sean Mooney.
A couple of gentlemen with me right now,
The Legion of Doom with the opportunity of a lifetime tonight
as they meet The Nasty Boys
for the World Wrestling Entertainment Tag Team titles.
No count-out, no disqualification, Animal.
That's right, Gene. No count-out, no DQ, that's right up our alley.
That's what the LOD likes.
You know, Gene, we're here getting ready for the match in the Garden
against The Nasty Boys, ready to take those titles
and we hear all this commotion.
We look through the curtain
and The Natural Disasters are trying to jump André, two-on-one.
So, Hawk and I decided to take it upon ourselves to even up the odds.
How do you like that, Natural Disasters?
Anytime, anywhere, we ain't afraid of you. Tell 'em, Hawk.
Well, it seems to me
that it seems to be
that The Natural Disasters have just bitten off
a little bit more than they can chew.
Well, somewhere down the line, I'm sure we'll be in the ring with you.
And when we get done chewing you,
we'll spit you out like that stinking bad tartar
that was stuck to our teeth.
But first and foremost on our minds,
our rotten minds is The Nasty Boys
and the WWE Tag Team titles.
You see, when we get done with The Nasty Boys,
we're gonna call them the Patsy Boys.
You see, there's boys, there's men, and there's monsters.
Oh, what a rush.
Thank you, Legion of Doom.
Apparently, there is more going on right now involving The Mountie.
Let's get back to the city sneezer.
No. You can't do this to me.
You can't-- no.
You can't take my fingerprint.
I'm not giving it to you.
[officer] Come on. Give me your finger.
You're not-- you're not getting it.
-[officer] Give me your finger. -You want the finger?
There's the finger.
[yells] Ouch.
Don't do that.
I'm The Mountie. You can't fingerprint me.
It looks as though The Mountie is a bit outnumbered at the New York City jail.
And Sgt. Slaughter, I'm sure you can relate to that situation
as you prepare to face Hulk Hogan and The Ultimate Warrior,
three-on-two in the Match Made in Hell.
What do you mean outnumbered, puke face?
You piece of human garbage. Outnumbered?
We're not the ones that are gonna be outnumbered.
It's Hulk Hogan and The Ultimate Warrior that's gonna be outnumbered.
In fact, they'll be outnumbered before the match even starts.
Take a look at the Ultimate Puke.
He's still looks a little snakebit to me.
[laughter]
And the "Immortal Slime" Hulk Hogan
got a gash in his head, lost about six gallons of blood.
[laughter]
In fact, it looks like it's gonna be a little easier than we thought.
In fact, we might have one more little surprise right here
at the Match Made in Hell.
Right now, let's go over to "Mean" Gene Okerlund.
All right. You people know this man.
He is the special guest referee for tonight's main event,
the Match Made in Hell.
Sid Justice, I've got to ask ya.
How are you gonna call this one tonight?
You know, "Mean" Gene, if I've been asked that question once
I've been asked it a hundred times and the question is,
"Sid Justice, where do you stand?"
Well, I think I've answered that question at least a thousand times,
and the answer is the same.
I am a man that stands alone.
Well, now, wait a minute, Sid Justice.
We could take exception to that because right here
in Madison Square Garden earlier today,
we had a television camera pick up this.
I want you to take a look.
It's your conferring with Sgt. Slaughter and company.
-[Slaughter] How about joining the corp? -I don't know.
[Slaughter] Come on. The Triangle of Terror--
-[Sid] Hey. I don't know. -Been training together.
-I don't think I-- -[Slaughter] Towards destruction.
Gen. Adnan, Col. Mustafa, Sgt. Slaughter,
First Lieutenant Justice, how's that sound?
-[Gene] There has gotta be some-- -No. Listen, listen.
You don't understand. See, those guys stopped me in the hall.
You didn't hear that right there.
I did not promise those guys one thing.
And the same thing, I did not promise The Ultimate Warrior
or Hulk Hogan one thing.
But I am gonna make one final promise that tonight,
justice will be served.
All right. Let's get back to ringside.
[Gorilla] Well, he may not have made a promise,
-but he had a big smile on his kisser. -[bell ringing]
[Roddy] He sure did. And I'm telling you, he's saying-- what did he say?
They asked a hundred times, he answered a thousand.
-He stands by himself. -[Howard announcing]
[Gorilla] Hey, for a guy that's supposed to be impartial,
he was doing an awful lot of smiling.
[Roddy] Well, what are you saying?
[Gorilla] I'm saying it doesn't smell right.
Sid Justice smells funny to me.
[Heenan] Well, you know some funny smells, I guess, if anybody would.
[Gorilla] World Wrestling Entertainment Tag Team belts on the line.
[Heenan] Ah, hair by weed eater.
[crowd booing]
[Heenan] The Nasty Boys are doomed, it says.
[Gorilla] Perhaps they are.
[Heenan] Here's Big Bird and Leon.
[Gorilla] I'll tell you what, you gotta give credit
where credit is due, Hot Rod.
These guys have taken on all covers since becoming the champions.
[Roddy] And nonstop.
They put-- they have a contract that is open
and every time they get in the ring, they have been defending it.
Let's see if that's true tomorrow after this match.
[Gorilla] Listen to this ovation here in the Garden.
[Roddy] LOD stands for "Look Out, Dummy."
[Howard] Hawk, Animal,
the Legion of Doom.
-[Roddy] Attack. -[bell ringing].
[Roddy] Attack.
[Gorilla] Not wasting any time, attacking immediately.
[Heenan] Sure is easy to attack two people when you're wearing shoulder pads
full of solid steel spikes.
[Roddy] But they didn't use them.
-Oh. -[Heenan] Oh.
[Roddy] Getting beat up.
[laughs]
[Gorilla] What a whipping Hawk is putting on here.
Look out. Oh.
-[crowd cheering] -[Roddy] Well, we could have a quick one.
[Gorilla] Whoo, was that close.
This one nonstop action,
they didn't even wait for the bell to ring.
[Roddy] I still haven't heard one.
[Gorilla] Don't forget, no disqualification, no count-outs.
It must be a decisive victor here.
[crowd chanting] LOD!
[Heenan] Well, I'll tell you something.
If The Nasty Boys are smart,
they'll lay back and they'll wait for LOD to make a mistake,
because they don't have to beat LOD--
-LOB, the LOD-- L-- -[Roddy] But yeah-- but yeah--
-But yeah, that's all folks. -[Gorilla] It's The Legion of Doom.
[Heenan] But I was trying to say something when I'm--
[Gorilla] Why don't you take another walk?
[Roddy] Yeah. That door must've obviously hit you in the buck teeth too.
[Gorilla] Maybe the Hulkster's back in his dressing room.
-[Heenan] Just a moment, yes. -[Roddy] And besides--
[Heenan] Will you go, please, and check on that?
I'm sending one of my staff members now to check on exactly where--
[Gorilla] One of your flunkies, you mean.
[Heenan] Well, they work for me. Doesn't really matter what you call 'em.
But she's gonna go back and check and find out exactly…
-[Roddy] Are they all… -[Heenan] …where Sid Justice is
-at this time. -[Roddy] Are they all two headed?
[Heenan] Hmm, the money I pay my staff…
[Gorilla] Nasty Boys, pulling out all the stops here.
They'll have to, to get by Legion of Doom.
Whoa, head first.
[Roddy] Another point, Bobby, saying that if they're smart,
Nasty Boys will lay back,
neither one of these guys are that type of people.
Look at that. It's brawl time.
You cannot disqualify.
[Gorilla] There's no disqualifications here.
[Heenan] I bet that's the first bath he's taken in a long time.
[Gorilla] Will you stop?
[Heenan] And it's not even Saturday night here in The Apple.
[crowd chatter]
[Gorilla] Tag made, the continuity is there
on this championship team,
double whipping-- whoa.
-[yells] -[Gorilla] Hawk in trouble.
Here comes Animal.
[crowd chanting] LOD!
[Roddy] As nasty as they wanna be,
that's what they said and that's what they did.
[crowd cheering]
[Gorilla] Chant going on as the tag rope goes around the throat.
-[Heenan] No disqualification. -[Gorilla] The Hawk-- that's right.
[Heenan] Anything goes.
[Roddy] And credit to The Nasty Boys took an incredible amount of punishment.
-[Heenan] Just a moment. -[Roddy] What?
[Heenan] My staff member just told me,
-Sid Justice is not in his dressing room. -[Gorilla] So what?
[Heenan] Sid Justice is not in his dressing room.
-[Gorilla] So what? -[Heenan] Well, where would he be?
Is he in Hogan's dressing room?
Is he in the Warrior's dressing room?
[Gorilla] Maybe he went to the men's room.
[Heenan] He has a men's room in his room.
Or is he with--
[Gorilla] So, what exactly are you saying?
[Heenan] Is he with Slaughter, Mustafa, and Adnan?
-I'm telling you. -[Roddy] You ain't telling us nothing.
[Gorilla] Oh, right into the steel steps.
[Roddy] For a guy that doesn't like the Triangle of Terror,
he sure looked awful friendly.
[Gorilla] He had a big smile on his kisser.
I'll give you that.
[Roddy] The Nasty Boys seem to have changed strategy a little bit here.
They were just, "Come on," and now what they're doing
is they're baiting Animal and they're working viciously on Hawk.
[Gorilla] Referee giving verbal warning here,
but there are no disqualifications, there are no count-outs.
The match can only end in a pinfall or submission.
[Heenan] Well, this match is tailor-made for both teams.
LOD has no regard for the rules and The Nasty Boys are just plain nasty.
So, let them enjoy themselves and have some fun.
[Gorilla] They are.
[Jimmy Hart] You got it, baby.
[Gorilla] Right now, it's The Nasty Boys who are having the fun.
[Heenan] I wouldn't be surprised when The Nasty Boys get done beating LOD
if they don't go down to the jail and bust The Mountie out.
[Gorilla] I would be surprised.
Why don't you go down and bail him out if you're so concerned?
[Heenan] I didn't say bail him out, bust him out.
[Gorilla] I heard what you said.
[Heenan] Well, I don't care if The Mountie stays there or not.
It's none of my business.
I'm that kind of a guy. I live and let live.
[Gorilla] In trouble as The Nasty Boys have cut the ring in half here.
Hawk taking a shellackin'.
[Roddy] See them, look at them,
constantly antagonizing Animal-- oh, oh.
Constantly cutting Hawk off.
They know they got Hawk in trouble.
If they can keep him from tagging, they can go for the win.
[Heenan] Hawk's been in there a long time.
-[crowd chanting] LOD! -[Roddy] He's getting tired too.
-[Gorilla] Another tag made. -[Heenan] Think of the referee.
What's he got to do in a match like this?
There's no rules, no count-out, no disqualification.
[Roddy] Yes, but he is there to prevent people from going too far.
He's there to try to call it, to try to keep order.
[Heenan] But, I mean, if they want,
any four of them could take a whack at him,
they don't care.
[Roddy] It shows you how much guts he's got.
-[Heenan] Well, I see your point-- -[Gorilla] Referee is there to count
somebody down or have somebody submit.
-That's what he's there for. -[Heenan] I know that.
-[Gorilla] To declare the winner. -[Heenan] I know that.
[Gorilla] Look out.
-Bombs away. -[Heenan] Oh, that's it.
[Gorilla] Little low maybe.
[Heenan] The Legion of Dirt are finished.
[Gorilla] Right in the abdomen, and Animal in to make the save.
You know how he could have hurt him in the head.
[Roddy] Little teamwork here on the Nasty--
[Gorilla] Oh, he got caught in midair.
[Roddy] Very little team work.
[Gorilla] As Hawk brought that boot up.
Don't let him make a tag.
-Don't let him make a tag. -[Gorilla] Listen to Jimmy Hart screaming,
"Don't let him make the tag,"
-but he did. -[crowd cheering]
[Gorilla] And now, it's Animal who's on fire,
clothesline and another one.
He's exploding.
[Heenan] Animal's been waiting for that tag and he's in there now.
-[Gorilla] Oh, oh. -[crowd cheering]
[Roddy] Animal watching his own back at this time,
a true brawler, beautiful powerslam.
[Gorilla] Hooks the leg and a save made.
Whoa, and the Hawk--
[Roddy] We got us a donnybrook, folks.
[Gorilla] All four men. It's mayhem right now in there.
[Heenan] Just stand back, ref. You could get hurt.
[Gorilla] Just what we expected to see in this one.
[Heenan] Surgeon general should put a warning on this match.
"This could be hazardous to your health."
[Gorilla] Should put a warning on you.
-[crowd cheering] -[Gorilla] Uh-oh.
Look at that from the outside, the helmet.
Oh, he almost nails his own partner.
[Heenan] That's using your head.
Get 'em. Whoo!
Champs are there, baby.
[Gorilla] Hey.
-[Heenan] That little pipsqueak. -[Gorilla] Could be trouble.
Could be trouble.
This one could be all over right here.
-[Heenan] Two. -[Gorilla] Two-count-- no.
A three was coming down, but Animal manages to kick-out.
I don't believe it.
[Heenan] Hawk is making his way around.
Uh-oh.
[Gorilla] Hawk trying to get oriented here.
Oh, look at this.
He got the runt.
Oh, helmet to the head.
[Roddy] Right in the face.
[Gorilla] And another shot.
[Roddy] No DQ remember, Boobs?
[Heenan] I know, I know.
-[Roddy] Go for it! -[Gorilla] Oh, look at this.
[Heenan] He's got him up. I can't believe it.
[Gorilla] Hawk is up there.
-He nailed him. -[Roddy] Ah!
-[Heenan] We got new champions. -[crowd] Two, three.
-[Gorilla] He got it. -[bell ringing]
-[crowd cheering] -[Roddy] What a night.
["What a Rush" playing]
[Howard] The winners of this bout
and new World Wrestling Entertainment
Tag Team Champions,
The Legion of Doom.
[Heenan] I can't believe it.
Three titles changing hands in one night.
[Gorilla] It's mayhem here in Madison Square Garden.
[Heenan] I've never seen a pay-per-view like this, Monsoon.
[Gorilla] What a moment for Legion of Doom.
Hot Rod, they earned it.
[Roddy] Earned it, they build for it, they work their tails off,
and they took it to a full bar,
and that's what champions are made out of.
We saw it in Virgil, we saw it in The Hitman,
and now, the World Wrestling Entertainment
new tag team champions.
[Heenan] And they beat them at their own game.
That's what's bad.
[Gorilla] Knocked down and dragged out,
talk about guys being nasty,
Legion of Doom is in fact extremely nasty.
-[crowd chanting] LOD! LOD! LOD! -[Roddy] Listen to them.
[crowd chanting] LOD! LOD!
[Roddy] You deserve it, boys.
You deserve it.
[Gorilla] This capacity crowd on its feet.
[Heenan] "LOD, LOD."
And I bet you all over the world,
millions of people right now are doing it, yelling, "LOD."
[Gorilla] All right. We're gonna continue to keep you up to date
on The Mountie down at the slammer.
…do this to me.
You can't do this to me.
Oh, you're hurting my arms.
You're hurting my arms.
Jimmy Hart, let me go.
You bunch of-- let me go.
Ow. Let me go.
Ow, ow, okay, okay, okay, okay.
Let me go, I'll walk.
I'll walk, you win.
You win, I'll walk.
-Get moving. -Let me walk.
-You're hurting-- Oh. -Be cool.
[screams]
Let me out of here.
I'm allowed a phone call.
I'm an international law enforcement officer.
You are local.
You're a bunch of local idiot cops.
Get off me.
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
[screams]
You got the wrong man.
Oh, Jimmy.
[Gorilla] Mark this date down on your calendar,
Thanksgiving Eve November 27,
Survivor Series will be coming at you.
Teams trying to survive is the name of the game for Survivor Series.
-[upbeat jazz music playing] -[Vince] Celebrate your Thanksgiving
with the Survivor Series on Thanksgiving Eve,
Wednesday night, November 27.
It's a Thanksgiving tradition.
Only on pay-per-view.
[Gorilla] What a hot item that's gonna be, Hot Rod.
-Thanksgiving Eve for this-- -[Heenan] Whoa, whoa, whoa,
-whoa, let me get this straight. -[Gorilla] What?
[Heenan] Thanksgiving Eve, the night before Thanksgiving, right?
[Gorilla] That's what
-Thanksgiving Eve means. -[Heenan] Yes.
Then I can be home Thanksgiving and get presents for my family.
-[Gorilla] Oh, let's go to Howard Finkel. -[Roddy] Presents?
-You get presents? -[bell ringing]
[Heenan] I get presents on George Washington's birthday.
-[Gorilla] Oh. -[Howard] For one fall…
[Heenan] I deserve it.
[Roddy] You don't get tired of buying them?
About to enter the ring, from Washington DC,
weighing 248 pounds,
Irwin R. Schyster
otherwise known as I.R.S.
[Heenan] This guy's got your number, don't he, Piper?
-[Roddy] Oh, my… -[Heenan] Or your return whatever it is.
When it comes to paying taxes,
you people have become a bunch of finger pointers
and crybabies.
[crowd booing]
Well, it's time to cut the crying and start paying.
[Roddy] Hey, oh, boy.
Having a good time?
-Oh, boy. -["Hammer Time" playing]
[Howard] His opponent from Seattle, Washington,
weighing 241 pounds…
[Gorilla] This guy dropped a dime on you, didn't he, Rod?
-[Howard] …Greg "The Hammer" Valentine. -[Roddy] Oh, baby.
[chuckles] That's okay. Boobsie will come next.
All right. And The Hammer. It be Hammer Time.
-[Gorilla] Figure-four versus the W-4. -[Roddy] You know,
did you ever notice that Irwin looks a lot like Ichabod Crane?
[Gorilla] I think he certainly does, now that you mention it.
-[bell ringing] -[crowd chatter]
[Heenan] This will be a good match.
Good wrestling technicians are in there.
Say what you want about Irwin R. Schyster.
The man can wrestle.
[Gorilla] No question about that.
[Heenan] And the Hammer, the longer you beat on him,
the more he likes it and the tougher he gets.
[Roddy] What's very interesting I find about this match
also is two completely different styles.
We have Irwin being very fast, very capable.
Hammer taking his time, very methodical.
Everything is thought out. Whoa.
[Gorilla] What a shoulder block by the Hammer off the ropes.
[Roddy] I don't think that's a way for Irwin to go.
[Gorilla] I think-- I think Irwin got the message there.
[Roddy] Yeah, yeah.
Well, I'm the one that got audited,
so I'm not gonna stop until I'm sure he's got the message.
[Heenan] Well, Hammer knows how to give you the message.
-[Roddy] Okay. -[Heenan] No doubt about that.
[Roddy] I can attest to that.
[Gorilla] What a night it's been here in Madison Square Garden
for SummerSlam.
Intercontinental Title has changed hands.
The World Wrestling Entertainment Tag Team Title has changed hands.
The Million Dollar belt now belongs
to the former bodyguard, Virgil.
What a night.
[Roddy] Talk about making the town. [laughs]
Virgil gonna be hot to trot tonight.
[Heenan] And don't forget, The Mountie is spending the night in jail.
[Gorilla] I hope so.
[Roddy] I haven't forgotten.
[Heenan] Boy, I'll tell you something.
I wouldn't wanna be in The Mountie's shoes for anything.
[Gorilla] He's gonna have some sore legs.
[Heenan] Well, they got him handcuffed, they got him shackled.
Probably rubber-hosing him by now.
They got him under that hot light.
They're probably interrogating him trying to find out some secrets
that the Canadian Mounted Police use.
[Gorilla] Incidentally, there's a rumor going around right now
amongst our people here at ringside
that Jake "The Snake" Roberts
and the Undertaker have been seen somewhere here in Madison Square Garden.
What on earth are they doing here if that's true?
[Roddy] It's only a rumor.
[Heenan] I know. I bet you--
-[Gorilla] I said it was a rumor. -[Roddy] You probably started it though.
[Heenan] When the wedding starts
and the judge or preacher, whoever they got,
is going to say, "Does anybody object?"
I believe somebody may object.
Or are they here to pay a visit to The Ultimate Warrior?
Or are they even here?
Who knows? You know people in the city here lie.
-[Gorilla] It takes one to know one. -[Heenan] Sure does. What do you mean?
[Gorilla] You resemble that remark, Brain.
Look out, back drop coming up below.
Hammer turns the tables and almost got him.
[Heenan] Jake "The Snake" and The Undertaker, they're not on the card,
-are they? -[Gorilla] No, they're not.
[Heenan] Oh, then they're not here.
[crowd chatter]
[Gorilla] Trying to buy a little time on the outside, I.R.S.,
but Hammer having none of it, right out there to meet him.
[Heenan] There hasn't been one match this evening
that has stayed in the ring.
Shows you the intensity of wrestling here at SummerSlam.
Everybody is out on the floor.
-Everybody is around. -[Roddy] New York's a heck of a town.
The Bronx is up and The Mountie's down.
[Gorilla] You got that right.
[Heenan] Why don't you be a songwriter? Write a song for Mr. Sinatra.
[Roddy] Okay.
[singsongy] Start spreading the news, DiBiase's leaving today.
[laughs] I'm having a great time.
[Gorilla] Abdominal stretch
with a little assistance from that top rope for I.R.S.
[Heenan] You'd have a good voice if it ever came to your throat.
[Roddy] You sing like a bird, a vulture.
I thought I'd get that in before you did, Boobs.
[Heenan] I didn't say that.
[Roddy] I know.
You're not that smart.
[Gorilla] Hammer has been in this a long time.
Referee Danny Davis finally caught him.
But the Hammer had already taken care of the situation.
-[Roddy] Oh, wow. -[Gorilla] Clothesline and a beauty.
[Roddy] Holy cow.
There you see some of the excellence
of Irwin's wrestling ability.
[Gorilla] You know, Hot Rod, I can't figure out why--
you and I both know what it's like to be in there.
Why someone hasn't grabbed this I.R.S.
-by the tie or suspenders… -[Roddy] Suspenders.
[Gorilla] …and tied the guy up.
[Roddy] I was saying the same-- Somebody told me
that the tie was just a clip on, but I don't know.
[Gorilla] Well, the suspenders aren't clipped on.
[Heenan] Monsoon, did your dad wear suspenders?
-[Gorilla] Sometimes. -[Heenan] Did your dad--
Oh, you wouldn't know, Piper, they were never home when you got there.
[Gorilla] What's that got to do with the--
-[Roddy] I'mma slap the… -[Heenan] If he was your kid,
-would you be home? -[Gorilla] Wait a minute.
[Heenan] If he was your kid, would you wait for him to come home?
He used to get his lunch wrapped in a--
he used to get his lunch wrapped in a road map.
Quit talking to me. Somebody is bugging me over here.
[Gorilla] Oh, that's one of your stooges, one of your assistants.
[Roddy] He's been flossing with toilet paper again, huh?
-[Heenan] They said Sid Justice… -[Gorilla] Look out.
[Heenan] …has just gone back into his dressing room,
but they don't know where he came from.
[Gorilla] I.R.S.
[Heenan] Oh, I got it.
I've got him right now. He's right there.
[Gorilla] Going to the top here.
Oh, he waited a little bit too long.
Hammer right there to meet him.
[Roddy laughs] Hammer had one good hold on him there too on the top rope.
-Come on, Hammer. Go for it. -[Gorilla] Perhaps,
we'll see that figure-four very shortly.
[Roddy] That's worse than a wedgie.
[Gorilla] Hammer beating him to the punch here.
Oh, reverse knife edges finding the mark.
Oh, nice reversal by Irwin.
Oh, knee in the corner.
[Roddy] Look out.
[Gorilla] Oh, perfect set up here, Rod.
[Roddy] It's figure-four.
[Heenan] Hammer smells it now.
[Roddy] And I figure it's for Hammer.
[Gorilla] Going to work, now on the left knee.
[Roddy] That was a little play on words there, Boobs.
-Did you get it? -[Heenan] I got it.
[Roddy] Oh, okay.
I got to check every once in a while--
[Gorilla] Here it comes. He's set to slap it on.
Terminated a lot of guys' careers with this one.
-[Heenan] He's got it. -[Gorilla] He's got that figure-four on.
-[Roddy] That's it. -[Heenan] I don't think I.R.S.
can get to the ropes.
[Roddy] I don't think so.
[Gorilla] Or he's fighting it.
-[Heenan] He made it. -[Gorilla] He made it to that bottom rope.
[Roddy] Hey, credit to I.R.S.,
what guts.
[Gorilla] But you know he's hurting.
Those collateral lateral ligaments are stretched out now, Hot Rod.
[Roddy] Damn them collateral laterals.
[Heenan] Just say he hurt his knee, will you?
Keep it simple for the humanoids.
-[Gorilla] You mean for you? -[Roddy] Yeah.
You're the only humanoid here.
[Gorilla] There is the signal again for the figure-four.
-[Roddy] Oh. -[Gorilla] But he didn't go to it.
He went to drop an elbow instead.
He double-crossed himself, Hot Rod.
[Roddy] He did but, oh, oh, got a hold of the leg again.
Hammer very seldom makes the same mistake twice.
[Heenan] He usually makes it about three or four times.
[Gorilla] Well, now he gave the signal and he is in fact going for it.
No, he's not.
[crowd chatter]
[Roddy] I don't understand why the Hammer,
a couple of time-- here he goes.
[Gorilla] Now, he didn't give any signal at all that time…
-[Roddy] Oh, hair! Hair! -[Gorilla] …and he got caught
-in a small package. It's over. -[bell rings]
[Roddy] Hey, he had a handful of hair.
[Heenan] It doesn't matter, he won.
-It doesn't matter, he won. -[Roddy] Yes, it matters.
-[Heenan] Not to I.R.S. -[Howard] Here is your winner,
Irwin R. Schyster.
[Roddy] But it matters to some of us.
[Gorilla] Irwin R. Schyster with a big win here
at SummerSlam Madison Square Garden.
Let's go back and take a look at some of the action in this one.
[Heenan] Look at this, Valentine, here goes the slap on the figure-four.
He's just about got it locked in,
but he loses his balance, falls into the waiting hands of I.R.S.,
one, two, three.
[Roddy] It was up to his elbows and hair, man.
[Gorilla] Hot ticket headed our way in October.
[announcer] It's the hottest ticket in town,
and this October, Hot Ticket presents Hulk Hogan: A Real American Story,
exclusively on pay-per-view.
It's an inside look at the spectacular career
of the World Wrestling Entertainment's most popular superstar, Hulk Hogan.
Relive the excitement as the phenomenon known as Hulkamania
grew to almost mythical proportions.
Hey, Hulksters, this is one Hot Ticket you don't wanna miss.
[announcer] Hulk Hogan: A Real American Story
this October exclusively on pay-per-view.
Everything you ever wanted to know about Hulk Hogan
in the big Hot Ticket in October.
And believe me, Hulk Hogan is ready here in Madison Square Garden
for the Match Made in Hell.
It's gonna be something else.
The wedding's next?
-No. That's-- -You said the Match Made in Hell.
-That's The Match Made In Heaven. -Nice, Bobby.
-Excuse me. -Boobs. Boobs.
Will you get your act together?
Right now, let's take it to our other colleague,
"Mean" Gene Okerlund.
With me right now The Ultimate Warrior, Hulk Hogan.
Tonight, gentlemen, the Match Made in Hell
as you face Sgt. Slaughter and company, The Triangle Of Terror.
Well, you know something "Mean" Gene the battleground of Madison Square Garden
is the only appropriate place for the Match Made in Hell
to happen, brother.
Ever since January 23rd, 1984, I've been waiting for a feeling,
I've been waiting for a rush like I had when I won the WWE title.
It changed the course of wrestling history in the WWE.
And now, I've got that same feeling, I've got that same emotion,
and I also realize, brother,
that if we don't wipe out Sgt. Slaughter and his corps tonight
in the Match Made in Hell,
wrestling history in the WWE could also change again.
You know, speaking of hell, here's a man who is virtually gone through hell
-in recent weeks, The Ultimate Warrior. -[low growl]
Are we loaded down, Hulkster?
Loaded, brother.
Loaded down, ready to go down into the pit.
One strike from a cobra
is not enough to hold back the force of Hulkamania
and the power of Warrior Wildness.
We will not come by tank or by air,
but we'll walk side by side and leave four footsteps behind
as all the Warriors and Hulkamaniacs jump on our backs.
Prepare yourselves to go down
to the coop of Warrior Wildness and Hulkamania.
Hulk Hogan and The Ultimate Warrior walk in this battle
to leave as we walk in as the same.
We've got momentum, "Mean" Gene.
The bite from the cobra. Don't you realize, Sgt. Slaughter,
the toxins most mortal men can't handle, just inspire,
just put more gas on the fire of The Warriors.
And all the little Hulkamaniacs know that tonight is just as important
as hanging on to the WWE title.
Sgt. Slaughter, you and your corps are doomed, brother.
[both] And what's you gonna do when The Hulkster
and The Ultimate Warrior destroy you?
[Gorilla] You know, guys, The Hulkster and The Warrior left out very--
one very important equation in that match.
I'm referring to the guest referee, Sid Justice.
[Roddy] Justice, what is he gonna do?
Rumored he's been in the hallway.
We've seen footage of him with Slaughter, Adnan, and Mustafa.
He says he stands alone yet we see him with others.
[Heenan] We're gonna know right away
what he means by, "Justice will be served."
[Gorilla] That guy right there could change the entire complexion
-of any match. -[Roddy] Right.
-He's a big son of-- a big guy, isn't he? -[bell ringing]
-[Heenan] Yeah, he's a big guy. -[Roddy] Big guy.
-[Heenan] Watch it. -[Roddy] Yeah. Let's enjoy.
-[Howard] Introducing the special referee… -[Roddy] Big guy.
…for the Match Made in Hell, Sid Justice.
[Gorilla] He's getting a tremendous ovation here.
[crowd cheering]
[Heenan] I don't like the look in his eyes.
I don't really care which way he goes.
[Roddy] Well, that's good then.
[Gorilla] Why don't you go and tell him you don't like the look in his eyes?
[Heenan] But, I mean, he's not getting in that ring like a referee.
[Roddy] What's he getting in like?
[Heenan] Like he's got a plan.
[Gorilla] He's got a referee shirt on.
[Heenan] But, I mean, he didn't step through the ropes,
waved to the people, stand in the corner.
[Roddy] Hey, I've seen him jump from the floor
onto the apron like a gazelle.
Don't you worry.
He is very capable.
[Gorilla] Triangle of Terror on their way.
[Heenan] Oh, terrific. Here comes the locust.
[Howard] …Sgt. Slaughter,
Col. Mustafa, and Gen. Adnan.
[Heenan] I'll be able to tell in a minute if something's going down.
[Gorilla] How?
[Heenan] By the expression on Slaughter's face…
and if Adnan smiles.
[Gorilla] The Benedict Arnold
of the World Wrestling Entertainment,
the traitor, Sgt. Slaughter,
and his entourage ready to do battle here.
[Roddy] This is hell, folks.
If you don't understand it, these men here are soaking it up.
They have absolutely nothing to lose.
[Heenan] Somebody is gonna get hurt and I mean hurt real bad.
[Roddy] That's why they call it hell 'cause nobody likes it.
[Gorilla] Red, white, and blue everywhere here in the Garden.
-[Heenan] Hey, wait a minute. -[Roddy] What?
[Heenan] Slaughter is talking with Justice.
I think they shook hands.
[Howard] Introducing first, weighing 275 pounds,
The Ultimate Warrior.
[crowd cheering]
[Heenan] Well, here's Captain Schizo.
[Roddy] You think it's his coffee?
[Heenan] This guy makes coffee nervous.
[Gorilla] What an ovation for The Ultimate Warrior.
[crowd cheering]
[Gorilla] Is he ready?
-Yes. -[Roddy] Yes, but can he be trusted?
That's one of the-- one of the particulars here.
Hogan don't like him.
He don't like Hogan.
[Heenan] Now, watch if Justice and Hogan have eye contact.
[Howard announcing]
[Roddy] Yeah, watch it.
[Howard] …The World Wrestling Entertainment Champion,
-Hulk Hogan. -[Heenan] I can barely hear.
[Roddy] This place is electric.
[Gorilla] They've just blown off the roof on Madison Square Garden.
["Real American" playing]
[Gorilla] The World Wrestling Entertainment Champion, Hulk Hogan.
Hulkamania is alive and well.
[Roddy] I do believe though we've got to take note of what Bobby said,
that you must look in the eyes right now of everybody.
The eyes of The Warrior, the eyes of Hogan.
You must figure out, are they really on the same side?
Will they hang in there when it gets tough?
Where is Justice coming from?
[Heenan] And what about The Warrior's mind?
How has it been affected by being bitten by a cobra
at the hands of Jake "The Snake" Roberts and The Undertaker.
[Gorilla] Twenty thousand strong on their feet
here in Madison Square Garden.
-[Heenan] And millions all over the world. -[Roddy] Look.
Hogan just threw all his stuff on Slaughter.
Slaughter is fuming.
Slaughter is the brains
-of this organization. -[bell ringing]
Slaughter is the one to be careful of.
Slaughter is a traitor and he can't get enough tonight,
in my mind.
[Heenan] Adnan--
Gen. Adnan just winked.
-[Roddy] What does that mean? -[Gorilla] Winked at who?
[Heenan] I don't know. I don't know.
[Gorilla] Well, why are you spreading this…
[Heenan] When somebody winks,
-it means two things. -[Gorilla] …garbage around for?
[Heenan] They wanna go-- you wanna make a date or I got a plan.
[Roddy] Was it you he winked at?
[Heenan] He didn't wink at me.
[Roddy] Oh, just checking about the date part.
I saw you fill out an application, under date,
you put "small dried fruit."
-[Heenan] That's what they are. -[Gorilla] We're ready to go here.
The bell has sounded. We're underway.
[crowd chatter]
[Gorilla] Hulkster, the greatest World Wrestling Entertainment Champion
in the history of the WWE, bar none.
Nobody has done what The Hulkster's done here in the WWE.
No question.
[Roddy] I can attest to how strong
and how powerful Hogan is
'cause I fought Hogan toe-to-toe with all my guts and I'm telling you
Hogan can go.
[Heenan] Hogan this, Hogan that.
He is the World Wrestling Entertainment Champion,
but if the real world's champion, Ric Flair,
had gone to his dressing door and when that door opened,
he would have dragged Hulk Hogan
-right to the-- -[Gorilla] Will you be serious?
[Heenan] And he would have made him surrender his title.
Will you stop with that garbage, that speculation?
[Heenan] He wouldn't have slammed the door in his face like he did mine.
[Roddy] Well, listen, but that didn't happen.
What did happen, Boobs?
[Gorilla] You got humiliated like you usually do.
[Roddy laughs] So back to Hogan.
[Heenan] He may be the greatest thing that ever happened
to professional wrestling in your mind,
but, to me, in my opinion, the man is rude.
-[Roddy] Look what's going on. -You go back there.
[Gorilla] Justice not taking any baloney from anybody.
[Heenan] Could be a ploy.
[Roddy] It didn't look like no ploy to me.
It looked like a typical Slaughter tactic
and it looked like it got--
[Heenan] But maybe Hogan got to him.
Maybe the greatest athlete that ever lived in your mind greased his palm.
[Gorilla] Why don't you stop with all the procrastinating?
-[Roddy] Yeah. -[Heenan] As a broadcast journalist,
I'm just making an assumption.
[Roddy] Well, do a little journalism here
and get into what's going on and quit knocking people.
[Gorilla] Sarge with the champ trapped in the corner, but now look.
Oh, nice reversal.
And Slaughter almost went flying out of there.
[Roddy] Yeah, but that-- whoa.
That ain't gonna be enough to stop Slaughter.
-[Gorilla] And now-- -[Heenan] Look at this punching.
Sid Justice is making-- he's not--
he's not even trying to get him to stop.
He's letting him punch. He can do whatever he wants.
[Gorilla] Hulkster unloading on everybody.
Tag made.
[Roddy] I hope Slaughter stays on his feet.
That way, he can take more punishment.
[Heenan] Oh, you really hate the guy, don't you?
[Roddy] Yes, I do.
[Gorilla] I supposed you like a traitor?
[Heenan] Well, it's none of my business. I don't wanna get involved politically.
[Gorilla] Aren't you an American?
[Heenan] Well, I'm American, yeah. Why?
[Gorilla] Well, this guy turned his back on-- his back on this country.
Would you do that?
Maybe you would.
[Heenan] My favorite show is The Price Is Right.
[Roddy] Get up, Slaughter, so they can knock you down again.
Heads up, G.I.
-Oh. -[Heenan] Oh.
[Roddy] Holy cow. You folks got to see that one close up.
[Gorilla] Hogan for the cover, hooks the leg.
He won't get him.
Mustafa came in there in a hurry.
Hulkster with an elbow right between the eyes.
[Heenan] What has the referee done so far?
Just stay out of the way?
[Roddy] Yes, but he has stayed out of the way of everybody.
The only-- one thing that he did do
was take an illegal foreign object away,
otherwise he's been fair and impartial.
[Heenan] I don't like the teamwork here.
Slaughter has been in the ring the whole time.
[Roddy] You don't like nothing.
-[Heenan] I like me. -[Roddy] Except the 976 numbers.
[Gorilla] Obviously, he doesn't have much stock in his core.
[Roddy scoffs] Hard to have any core there,
when you're getting beaten by Hogan.
-Get on him. -[Heenan] Here they come.
[Gorilla] Mustafa in there once again.
[Roddy] I notice Justice was down there with a nice, smooth count.
A thousand and one. A thousand and two.
Same count for everybody.
Keeping law and justice.
[Gorilla] Clothesline, and a beauty.
Nowhere for Sarge to go.
He absorbed the full brunt of that blow.
It's been all Hulk and Warrior up to now.
[Roddy] Not only that. Let's give credit again where credit is due.
As much as I hate the guy…
[Gorilla] Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. Here we go.
-[Roddy] …Slaughter has been in there… -[Heenan] Come on, Justice. Get in there.
[Roddy] …by himself taking punishment.
-[Gorilla] What's this? -[Heenan] Uh-oh.
[yelling]
[Roddy] Oh, no. There ain't nothing wrong with that.
[Gorilla] Tried to get him out of the corner.
Hulkster wouldn't break there.
[Roddy] He's trying to be a good official.
I saw him earlier get on Slaughter's team,
keeping Slaughter's team in the corner.
[Heenan] Yeah, but he physically put his hands on Hogan twice.
[Gorilla] So far, he's called it right down the middle,
as far as I'm concerned.
[Roddy] I tend to agree with you, Gor.
[Gorilla] Sarge tried to take a cheap shot at The Warrior who ducked underneath it.
[Roddy] You know, Slaughter has been in there,
took all that punishment, still came back,
cut his opponent off, and tagged.
-Gotta give him credit. -[Heenan] He's a tough guy.
He's a tough guy.
[Gorilla] Now, it's Adnan.
[crowd chanting] Hogan! Hogan! Hogan!
[Gorilla] Chant going off by this capacity crowd
here in the Garden for The Hulkster.
[Heenan] They chant for Hulk Hogan like they chant for no one else,
and he loves it.
[Gorilla] Being triple-teamed right now.
[Heenan] The more the people chant, the more it gets Hogan going.
[Roddy] Look, look. Just look at Justice.
He's keeping Slaughter back.
He's keeping The Warrior back.
[Gorilla] But he's allowing a double-team to take place here.
[Heenan] Well, you can't have eyes in the back of your head, right?
[Roddy] Yeah. Oh, he's only a human being.
He's trying his heart out, at least, the way I see it.
[Gorilla] He's one of the most unusual human beings I've ever seen.
[Heenan] Big sucker.
[Gorilla] Uh-oh. Here it comes.
[Roddy] I remember this back in '83.
[Gorilla] Camel clutch.
[Roddy] Justice, now there on top of things.
[Gorilla] Hulkster is not gonna quit.
That word is not in his vocabulary.
[Heenan] He's going right down the middle now.
[Gorilla] Backbreaker. Well executed by Slaughter.
Two count. Referee right there.
[Heenan] Very slow count though.
[Roddy] Oh.
Slaughter is really hanging in tough.
Hogan is hanging in tough.
Look at Justice.
I gotta say that's calling it down the middle, wouldn't you, Gorilla?
[Gorilla] Absolutely. Not afraid to stick his nose in there.
Whoa.
[Heenan] It's like two walls hitting each other.
-[Gorilla] Accidental. -[Roddy] Uh-oh.
-[Heenan] What the hell is going on? -[Gorilla] That was designed perfectly
by Slaughter.
He did that on purpose.
-I wonder-- -[Heenan] Something may be happening here.
[Roddy] I hate to say it, Gorilla,
but do you suppose that Boobs could be right?
[Gorilla] No. I don't think so.
I don't think so.
[Heenan] You notice he stayed with Slaughter
while Adnan did all the scratching and biting.
He's not doing nothing now, is he, to stop him?
-He let him get away with it. -[Roddy] Gorilla, he's right about that.
[Gorilla] There's nothing illegal going on right now.
[Heenan] He was biting him right in the face.
[Gorilla] You're allowed a five count to break anything you're doing.
[Heenan] But he never tried to count.
He just stood there and watched it happen.
[Gorilla] Maybe he was counting to himself.
[Roddy] But he's counting now.
Let's check out the rhythm.
[crowd chatter]
[Gorilla] Slaughter off-- but, oh,
he got a little extra push from The Warrior.
[Roddy] I don't know. How do you call that one, Boob?
[Heenan] Well, he didn't go over and reprimand The Warrior.
[Gorilla] He flew halfway across the ring.
[Roddy] Hey, Gorilla. Uh…
I don't know. Boobs may have a point here.
[Gorilla] Yeah, but the--
[Roddy] I ain't a broadcast journalist for nothing.
[Gorilla] He's on his head, you know?
[Roddy] The tag is made.
[Gorilla] Warrior on fire.
Clothesline, off the ropes, and another one.
[Heenan] Three clotheslines.
[Roddy] But now is the time to tell, can he hang?
This is a hand-- oh.
[Gorilla] Uh-oh.
Inadvertently ran into Justice.
[Heenan] Well, that didn't really scare Justice too much.
[Gorilla] Didn't even move him.
[Heenan] Beat your chest some more.
[Roddy] He is a big, big, huge man.
The Warrior couldn't even knock him off his feet.
[Heenan] Now, watch, he's letting this happen.
[Gorilla] Gave Slaughter the opportunity to gain control once again in this one.
[Heenan] They've got him trapped now in the corner.
[Roddy] Didn't take Slaughter long to figure out how to cut off The Warrior.
[Gorilla] And look at Justice right over there laying the count on.
[Roddy] Slaughter doing some diversionary tactics there.
Not the fault of Justice's.
[Heenan] Is "Justice's" a word?
-[Gorilla] You got it. -[Roddy] Thanks.
Just cut me some slack on that one.
[Heenan] He'll be mad when you have to ask him for help.
[Roddy] Well, I've had my bad days, Boobs,
-but not in a row like you. -[Gorilla] Suplex coming up.
No, nice block by The Ultimate-- one--
blocked once again.
Oh, and he got-- he turned it around.
[Heenan] But he's hurt also.
[Gorilla] Took a lot out of The Warrior.
He's looking to make the tag to The Hulkster.
[Roddy] Yeah, but he's making the tag awful quick.
Hogan was in there, took a lot of punishment.
That didn't seem to stop Hogan, though.
-He's still full of vim and vigor. -[Gorilla] There was no tag made there.
[Heenan] You know, it would appear that he's trying to be fair.
[Roddy] It's a hard call to me.
[Gorilla] Well, that was-- that's what he was contracted to do, Brain,
to go out there and be impartial.
[Roddy] For a second, I thought that Bobby had a point.
I thought that Justice was swaying.
But when I see him, he's just trying his heart out to be what he said,
stand up straight and tall.
[Heenan] You really think so?
[Roddy] Yes, I do.
[Gorilla] Warrior in a whole heap of trouble here.
[Roddy] Come on, Warrior.
Get off your butt and tag.
[Gorilla] Hulkster wanting to make the tag here in the worst way
but not being given the opportunity.
Irish whip now by Sarge.
Ducks underneath.
Oh, here's a chance for The Warrior to make the tag.
[Roddy] Go tag, Warrior. Tag.
[Heenan] He doesn't know where he's at.
He doesn't know what side of the ring Hulk Hogan is on.
[Roddy] Come on, man.
Teamwork.
[Gorilla] Warrior running on instinct here,
but doesn't know where his corner is.
[Roddy] The only way you're gonna be able to do it is teamwork.
Warrior, you must find yourself.
[Gorilla] Counting both men now.
[Heenan] He's up to six.
-Seven. -[Gorilla] Well, as soon as one
reaches his knees, the count will stop.
The count is over right now.
[Heenan] Slaughter is up. Slaughter is up.
-Uh-oh. -[Gorilla] And there's the tag.
-[Roddy] All right. -[crowd cheering]
[Gorilla] Hulk unloading with those big roundhouse rights.
Slaughter for the ride and plants the boot.
[Roddy] Look out behind you.
Good cover by The Warrior.
[Gorilla] One dummy down. Another one went down.
[Roddy] It ain't enough.
[Heenan] Come on, Justice. Do your job.
Get them out of the ring.
[Gorilla] Warrior just eliminated two-thirds of the corps.
[Heenan] Warrior's got a chair.
[crowd cheering]
[Gorilla] Warrior.
Warrior chasing Adnan and Mustafa
all the way back to the locker room.
-[Heenan] What did Hogan use here? -[Roddy] We're talking hell.
[Gorilla] A little bit of powder and a one, two, three.
-[bell ringing] -[Gorilla] And it's all over.
[Heenan] What kind of powder is that?
[Roddy] It's justice.
[Gorilla] That's victory powder, Brain.
[Howard] Here are your winners, the team of Hulk Hogan
-and The Ultimate Warrior. -[Heenan] Where's Warrior?
Where's Mustafa? Where is Adnan?
Where is Justice?
[Roddy] We said this was a Match Made in Hell
and hell is what it took to win.
And there's the winner.
[Gorilla] Take a look.
Take a good look at the greatest professional athlete in the world today.
"The Immortal" Hulk Hogan.
[Heenan] But not the real world's champion.
[Gorilla] Don't start.
[Roddy] I'm getting tired of that remark, Boobs.
Where did The Warrior go?
[Heenan] I don't know. Where did Adnan go?
Where did Mustafa go?
Where did Justice go?
[Roddy laughs]
[Gorilla] It's obvious, Brain,
that Adnan and Mustafa defected.
-[Heenan] You mean deserted? -[Gorilla] Deserted. That's right.
[Roddy] There must be one hell of a fight going on back there in the locker room.
[laughs]
[Gorilla] What's--
[Heenan] Well, I will say this,
Sid Justice said--
he did exactly what he said.
He called it right down the middle.
Justice did prevail.
-I'm wrong. -[Roddy] Hey,
and no matter what Roddy Piper thinks of Hulk Hogan,
you all gotta give credit where credit's due.
Check him out.
[Gorilla] There's only one.
[Heenan] Thank heavens for that.
[Roddy laughs]
Hulk doing a little tweaking there, man.
[Gorilla] Hulkster's saying, "Wait a minute."
-[Heenan] What's he doing? -[Gorilla] He's motioning
towards the locker room.
He's giving a wave here to somebody.
Look, it's Justice.
[Roddy] Looks like the Grim Reaper.
♪ I gotta be a man ♪
-[Heenan] What's this? -[Gorilla] Hulkster wants Justice
back out there in the ring.
♪ I am a real American ♪
[Roddy] Hey, "I is what I is," that's what Justice does.
He said he would stand tall and he did.
[Gorilla] It's pandemonium here at SummerSlam.
Oh, no.
Justice not sure why he's out there.
Hulkster wants him in the ring.
Take a look at that body.
♪ When it comes crashing down And it hurts inside ♪
[Roddy laughs]
♪ You gotta take a stand It don't help to hide ♪
-[crowd cheering] -[Roddy] Whoa!
They're saying thank you to everybody.
[Heenan] This must be the Marriage Made in Heaven, right?
[Gorilla] No, it's not yet, Brain.
[Roddy] This is the WWE.
It don't get no better, folks.
That's why we're all here.
Because we like the best.
[Heenan] But I'll tell you. I'm surprised.
I just knew for sure Justice was going to turn on Hogan.
I just knew it.
[Roddy] You were surprised, huh, Boobs?
[Heenan] I'm gonna fire two of my staff members.
I got the wrong information.
They're done. They're finished.
They know who they are.
[Roddy] Boy, that'll be a big cut pay for you, huh?
Look at that.
I don't think Justice has ever posed before.
But he looks good.
[Gorilla] Take a look, two of the greatest athletes anywhere today,
Sid Justice and The Hulkster.
Right now, folks, we're gonna take a final look
at The Mountie in the slammer in The Big Apple.
-[Heenan] Oh, no. -[song ends]
Hey. Oh, come back.
I want my own cell.
Get me out of here.
-Get me out-- -Shh.
Get out of here.
Jimmy Hart, I wanna have a phone call.
You wanna fight me buddy?
Get out of here.
There's me buddy.
Hi.
Oh, my God.
Don't you just love the way leather feels against your body?
Let me out of here!
Let me out of here.
-[Roddy laughing] -[Gorilla] Still creating pandemonium
here in Madison Square Garden.
It's The Hulkster and Sid Justice
and we saw, Brain,
what The Mountie was in store for at the slammer
here in The Big Apple, your pal.
We may have seen the last of The Mountie.
I think The Mountie made a friend.
Right now, we're gonna take you back in time,
a special interview that took place with "Mean" Gene,
The Macho Man proposing to Elizabeth.
[Roddy] What a night.
I've been thinking about returning to the ring
-at SummerSlam. -[crowd cheering]
[Gene] Wait a minute.
Let me remind you, "Macho Man" Randy Savage,
contractually, your career is over.
Nobody tells the Macho Man what to do.
Do you understand that?
[Roddy] And so, he's gonna get mad now to cover up for nerves?
Because I have got something to say
to the zillions of people all around the world
and then also got something to say to Elizabeth.
[crowd cheering]
[Vince] Maybe.
Come on, you can do it, Randy.
[Roddy] Come on.
[Macho Man] Elizabeth…
Elizabeth…
[crowd cheering]
Elizabeth, I love you.
-[Vince] Wow. -[Roddy] What?
[Vince] My goodness. He's getting there, folks.
He's building up his courage, that big-- maybe he's gonna ask her.
What's he-- what's that?
Look at that, Hot Rod, take a look.
-[Roddy] Wow. -[Vince] Look at that ring.
He's gonna ask her, folks.
What's the answer gonna be?
Look at that.
[crowd cheering]
[Roddy] Come on, Randy, don't cop out now.
[audience member] Get on your knees, Macho Man.
[Roddy] Somebody said, "Get on your knees."
[crowd clamoring]
[Roddy] Did you hear it?
[crowd chatter]
-[Vince] Oh, I think he's having-- -[Roddy] Do it right
-if you're gonna do it. -[Vince] He's having second thoughts.
It looks to me like he-- Hot Rod, I think he--
[Roddy] She's too beautiful.
Not now, don't walk.
[crowd chatter]
[Roddy] I gotta help him.
Get down on your knees.
[crowd cheering]
[Roddy] Yes.
[crowd cheering]
[Macho Man] Elizabeth,
Elizabeth…
will you marry me?
-[crowd cheering] -[Roddy laughs]
-We don't have an answer. -[Vince] He did it.
-[Roddy] We don't have an answer. -[Vince] He did it. He asked her.
[Gene] What about it, Ms. Elizabeth?
[crowd chatter]
[Gene] Elizabeth?
Oh, yeah.
-[Roddy] Yee-haw. -[crowd cheering]
[Vince] Oh, yeah.
[Roddy] We got us a wedding-- a wedding date.
[Vince] How about that?
[Gorilla] Oh, yes indeed.
Elizabeth and the Macho Man.
Macho Man down on his knees,
right now a special treat to all our millions of viewers out there,
a musical tribute to Liz and Randy, a love song.
-[Heenan] Ugh. -[Gorilla] Take it.
[romantic music playing]
♪ Right now, I'm in second place ♪
♪ I thought slow and steady Wins the race ♪
♪ But I got beat to your heart ♪
♪ But no matter how tough ♪
♪ I won't give up ♪
♪ I gotta finish what I start ♪
♪ I'm gonna show you ♪
♪ Show you ♪
♪ How much I love you ♪
♪ And girl, I'm in love with you ♪
♪ I got some catching up to do ♪
♪ Because, yeah, I'm far, far behind ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ And he's much closer to you ♪
♪ But that doesn't mean we're through ♪
♪ But still I'm running out of time ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ I'm gonna show you ♪
♪ Show you ♪
♪ How much I love you ♪
♪ 'Cause there is no one else ♪
♪ Whose love can compare ♪
♪ To all the love I'm giving you ♪
♪ Right here ♪
♪ So I'm gonna show you ♪
♪ Show you ♪
♪ How much I love you ♪
♪ There is no one else My heart beats for, no ♪
♪ You are everything and so much more ♪
♪ There is no one else ♪
♪ My heart beats for, no ♪
♪ So I won't let any door ♪
♪ Close on our love ♪
♪ So I'm gonna show you ♪
♪ Show you ♪
♪ How much I love you ♪
♪ And there is no one else ♪
♪ Whose love can compare, no ♪
♪ To all the love I'm giving you ♪
♪ Right here ♪
-[crowd cheering] -["Pomp and Circumstance" playing]
[Gorilla] After all that, how could the Macho Man do anything but propose?
[Heenan] I can't wait until Elizabeth comes out.
I wanna see what she's-- what special dress she's wearing.
-[Gorilla] Will you be serious? -[Roddy] Bobby,
you son of an unnamed goat.
I'm a happily married guy.
I got a beautiful wife.
And if you mess up this wedding, I'm gonna slap the snot out of you.
So you sit down and shut your mouth.
I mean it.
[Gorilla] And let that be a lesson for you.
[Heenan] Once in a lifetime.
I know it was very special for me.
[Gorilla] Now the best man making his way down.
[Heenan] Why do they always call the second guy the best man?
[Roddy] Do you know?
[Heenan] I just asked the question.
Not making fun of them.
[Gorilla] Well, if I'm not mistaken, Hot Rod,
The Macho Man said he might look prettier than the bride.
[Roddy] Listen, I'm a big believer in the institution of marriage.
I have six kids and the most beautiful wife in the world.
And what you're about to see
is one of the most sacred moments we can have.
-["Bridal Chorus" playing] -[Heenan] That reading of the will--
-[Roddy] Shut up. -[Heenan] Sorry.
[Gorilla] The wedding march.
Oh, I love it.
The little flower girl.
[Heenan] Oh.
[Gorilla] Don't start.
I'll smack you myself.
[Heenan] I said, uh… what a litterbug.
[Roddy] Heenan, one more time
and I'm shoving my fist
-down to your body. -[Gorilla] The ring bearer.
-[Heenan] Let me explain-- -[Gorilla] I assume, Hot Rod,
that all these youngsters are related--
-they're related to… -[Roddy] From what I understand--
-[Gorilla] …to Elizabeth or-- -[Roddy] The best man
-and that beautiful little girl. -[Heenan] The ring bearer
-is really a midget, I saw that-- -[Roddy] Will you stop?
[Gorilla] You know what? I'll do it myself, Roddy.
I'm telling you.
He won't take his eye off her.
Enough of that kind of talk.
Look at-- look at Randy Savage.
Maid of honor, looking so beautiful.
[Heenan] And look at Savage standing there on the gallows.
[Gorilla] All right.
-[Roddy] Heenan. -[crowd cheering]
[Roddy] Wow.
[Gorilla] Oh, take a look.
Beauty personified.
[Roddy] Oh, bravo. [laughs]
She's beautiful.
Next to my wife, I think that's the most beautiful gal I've ever seen.
[Gorilla] What a dress.
[Roddy] Look at the train on that.
Beautiful.
You know, you get a respect for a competitor,
and "Macho Man" Randy Savage
has earned everybody's respect and as the first lady, so has Elizabeth.
[crowd cheering]
[Gorilla] That is beautiful.
[Heenan] If his wrestling career-- If his marriage…
-[Roddy] Shut up. -[Heenan] …is half as successful
-as his marriage, he'll be a winner. -We are gathered together…
-[Heenan] Here we go. -…here in the presence of this company
to join this man and this woman
in the bonds of matrimony,
which is an honorable estate
and should not be entered into unadvisedly or lightly,
but reverently,
discreetly,
advisedly, and soberly.
"Macho Man" Randy Savage,
do you take this woman as your lawful wedded wife
to live together in the ordinances and estates of matrimony?
Will you love her,
comfort her,
honor and keep her in sickness and in health,
and forsaking all others,
keep her only unto you,
so long as you both do live?
[crowd chatter]
[Heenan] What are you doing?
[Roddy] Come on, Mach. Not now.
[Heenan] Cold feet.
-[Roddy] Not now. -[Heenan] Hit the door.
[Roddy] Do it.
Ooh, yeah.
-[crowd cheering] -[Heenan] Oh, no.
[Roddy] Ah, give it, man.
Elizabeth, do you take this man as your lawful wedded husband
to live together in the ordinances and estates of matrimony?
Will you love him,
comfort him,
honor and keep him in sickness and in health,
and forsaking all others,
keep him only unto you
so long as you both do live?
I will.
[crowd cheering]
[Roddy] So far, they got all the right answers.
[marriage officiant] Place the ring on her finger
and repeat after me.
With this ring…
[Macho Man] With this ring…
[marriage officiant] …I thee wed…
…I thee wed…
[marriage officiant] …with all my worldly goods…
[marriage officiant] …I thee endow…
[Macho Man] …I thee endow…
[marriage officiant] …and thereto…
…and thereto…
[marriage officiant] …I plight thee…
…I plight thee…
[marriage officiant] …my troth.
…my troth.
[marriage officiant] And as much as Randy and Elizabeth
have consented together in wedlock
and have witnessed the same before this company
and have thereto pledged each to the other
and have so declared by the joining of hands,
now I, in accordance with the authority vested in me
by the laws of the State of New York,
pronounce that you are husband and wife.
[crowd cheering]
[Roddy laughs]
[marriage officiant] You may now kiss the bride.
[Roddy] Well, let's see some of that macho.
-[crowd cheering] -[Roddy laughs]
Oh, that's beautiful.
That's what it's all about right there.
-[Gorilla] A kiss seen around the world. -["Pomp and Circumstance" playing]
[Roddy] Oh. That is what it's about.
That's a miracle.
[Heenan] Well, I'm getting stuff on my suit.
[Roddy] Beautiful.
You did it, Macho.
I wasn't sure, but I am now.
You did it.
[crowd cheering]
[Gorilla] A fairytale love story come to life
here at SummerSlam in Madison Square Garden.
This night will be remembered forever
by these two individuals
and by our millions of viewers around the world.
[Roddy] You look terrific, Macho.
[Heenan] I got this stuff over my suit.
[Roddy] Never thought I'd hear myself say that.
[Gorilla] You can feel the love pouring out
of the millions everywhere
and especially the 20,000 on hand
here in Madison Square Garden.
A standing ovation.
[Roddy] I wonder how many wet eyes there are all over the world right now.
[Gorilla] The couple of the year.
[Roddy] Just so you know, Boobs,
that's how you do it,
just in case you're gonna get married soon.
I don't know who would have ya.
[Gorilla] Elizabeth, never more lovely.
[Heenan] Boy, oh, boy, are they in love.
[Roddy] That's terrific.
[Heenan] Fantastic.
[Roddy] Aw, isn't she beautiful?
The happiest gal in the whole USA.
[Gorilla] She just said it, "I love you, Macho Man."
What a night it's been at SummerSlam.
So long, everybody.
[music concludes] .