Akanksha Thakur.
I hear everyone is very impressed with your background.
So, tell me. What are your expectations from us?
Ma'am, my experience and knowledge can benefit you and your projects.
I can challenge and prepare myself for team management roles when required.
So, speaking about experience,
you were appointed as the placement coordinator for the B.Tech batch.
Where you must have lead a team of individuals, right?
Yes, ma'am.
That's nice.
So, tell me, how was your overall experience?
And what was it like to lead a team?
Are you absolutely sure about this?
Work experience matters equally for MBA as well. You know that, don't you?
Yes, I know, Akku. But let's face it.
I suck at engineering.
Studying overnight for exams and getting a degree is no biggie.
But I won't become an engineer.
Hey, are you okay?
I don't think I'll be okay until everybody gets placed.
50% of our batch is yet to get placed.
3 out of 6 people in our group itself aren't placed.
Akku, you're doing everything you can.
Am I?
If I really was, then Jaat and Jhantoo would be placed by now.
Even Chirag refused to appear for the HR round.
-I don't know what's happening. -My dear, you can't do it all.
Wait a minute! What do you mean by Chirag isn't giving the HR round?
Because Chirag is now going to appear for exams in November.
-But the exams are late this year. So, why November? -Exactly.
Because the CAT exam is in November, my dear Akku.
Seriously. You're a little dumb to be on the placement team.
Never mind. You can't be a Wonder Woman.
You're right.
-See you later. -Akku!
Hey, don't mind.
Roasting is the best form of comedy.
When Jhantoo roasts me, everybody enjoys it so much.
Now that I did it, what's the big deal?
-Have you lost it, Chirag? -Oh! Of course.
Sorry. I knew you'd react this way. So, see this.
-Here. -What?
This website is giving a discount on the CAT form if you sign up for it.
I've availed mine. You sign up as well.
Shall I do it for you?
-Job, Chirag! What about your job? -What about it?
Pixi Pilot's HR round is still left, isn't it?
Chirag, what are you doing? Two big companies are already vying for Teja.
And you're throwing away such a good package?
My dear, I can get a way better package after doing my MBA.
What's all the fuss about then?
Look here. Just think about it.
We'll take the CAT exam together. We'll go to the same college.
And then YouTube videos will be made on us.
My first love in college.
When best friends fall blindly in love
and a backbencher falls for a topper.
So on and so forth.
What?
No.
What happened?
The last one was even trending at number 1.
If they've called you at 8 pm, then that's when you're supposed to report.
And why are you adjusting your sleep cycle as per the US time already?
Listen, you've not even got the job yet.
So, just report here in half an hour.
Listen.
Mandy, listen. Don't go for Goldtech.
Monsys is offering a better job role and package.
Their process begins the day after tomorrow. Okay?
Yes, I know.
Ankit, what are you doing here?
The Civil guys need to be in Hall B.
-Why don't you guys check your emails? -Prerna, I've already got through.
Oh! Congrats.
-Sorry. I am swamped with work. -It's okay. No problem.
The thing is, this morning I received an email with the salary breakup.
I'm listening.
This is not done, man.
The in-hand salary is even lesser than the Tiramisu Akanksha used to pay for.
Then you should have wooed someone who eats ice cream.
Ankit, this is what the Civil students get offered. You know it, right?
I know that Civil students get a less package.
But this is as good as nothing.
But the companies do announce their packages beforehand, right?
Yes, they do. But this is...
You've got a job, man. Why can't you be happy for once?
-You owe me a party. -Can we talk to their HR once?
We've sowed two crops in our field this time.
The yields will fetch us a good profit.
How's your job preparation going on?
Any luck so far?
No, dad. Not yet.
But I'll get through.
What are you doing now?
What else? Studying, obviously.
Son, Are you okay?
Yes, dad. Nothing's wrong. I'm fine.
You're disturbing me now.
I need to go back to studying.
A square plus B square is equal to...
You've been learning this by rote since your 8th grade.
Don't take me for a fool.
Look, son. It's not too late. Pack your bags and come home.
Eventually, you'll have to go back to farming.
-You've studied enough. -He's got through! The fucker got it!
Hit him, guys!
Spank him!
You made it, man!
Hold on, guys! Wait! I need to call up home.
Let me call my dad.
Hello, dad.
Yes, dad. I made it.
The CTC is the same that I told you earlier, six lakhs.
-Okay, then, dad. -Look, son.
Not everyone is lucky enough to get a job.
Are you listening, Rupesh?
-Rupesh! -Yes.
Dad, I'll call you back later.
-Denva Agro? -No.
-Bhandari Organic Consultants? -No.
ISO Capital, UI Plastics microservices.
They didn't even allow me.
Thank you, Jhantoo.
What now? Did you have a word with Akanksha?
I can't go anywhere near her.
That girl has helped me a lot.
I can't even face her.
You know, Rakhi, not getting a job doesn't pinch so much as
the fact that I'm not even capable of getting one.
What are you saying, bro?
-Everyone loves and respects you. -Yes. I know it all.
I know about my awe in the hostel. But what good is all that?
What did I achieve cooped up here?
I'm desperate for a decent job.
GSHA, my foot!
Now I'll have to go and sell sarees at my dad's shop in Changua.
But I swear on you, brother. I won't fuck it up this time.
Can't even imagine you as a saree salesman.
But sounds great. I'll also join you.
Listen up.
You must leave this campus as the first engineer of Jhabua with a job in hand.
You must become someone
who is not a loser.
Come on, go and study.
Go on. Go and study.
Just go, man. Please.
What was it like to lead a team?
It was tough.
There were times I had low confidence, self-doubt,
and lots of anxiety.
Could you please elaborate?
Take for example, video games.
One has to cross many hurdles to get from one point to the other.
And if one falters, then one has to start all over again.
Again and again.
It gets frustrating.
Our students were going through something similar.
No matter how hard they worked, the results were not as expected.
What are you saying? You got a package of 15 lakhs? Don't lie.
-Hey, Sunil Narain. -Hey!
When are you giving us the good news?
Soon, bro. But I heard you got through at Bailtech.
Pune chicks better watch out.
Come on, man!
-Even Bibhu got through at Pankh Infra. -I see.
All my roommates have got placed. I can't tell you how relaxed we are.
You'll also get through, bro.
-Yes, I will. -Definitely.
I'll get placed somewhere or the other.
-Okay, then. Enjoy. Bye. -Alright. See you.
Hello, brother. How are you?
Just felt like talking.
I'm not getting through any.
I'm trying my best. But it's just not happening.
I clear the written exam but get eliminated in the GD.
And if I clear the GD, they reject me in the PI.
I mean...
I'm quite exhausted, brother.
No. I'm not crying.
Yes.
I'll try my level best.
There's one tomorrow as well.
Yes, an interview.
Okay, brother. Take care.
-All my friends got rejected. -Nabo.
Nabo, I know you're angry. I understand.
Good for you.
Even I think that taking the CAT won't be enough.
Thank God!
-You finally understood. -GMAT, XAT and MAT are also necessary.
-To be on the safer side. -What?
Yes. And why just Indian B-Schools? We must also try for B-Schools abroad.
And I'm more excited about GMAT.
In fact, I think we should study at a Business School in London.
So that the UK economy drops and India always stays ahead of it.
I've even found out the date of the application. We can fill it together.
-Chirag. -Yes.
We aren't doing anything together.
Why aren't you going for the HR round?
My dear, job at UG is so underrated.
With an MBA I'll get better opportunities.
-Is that so? -Yes.
-Now tell me the truth. -This is the truth.
Chirag, come on. Tell me.
Nabo, you know what's the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning?
Your WhatsApp text.
That says Chirag, you're the best with a heart emoji.
Then no matter who says what, I feel I will be the best because you said it.
And I don't want this special feeling to go away.
So, let's be together. Please.
A long-distance relationship has a success rate of 51%.
But I don't even want to let go of the 49% chance.
And an MBA is not a step backwards for me.
It will only enhance my CV.
Let's be together. Let's take a job in the same company.
And then we won't need to do the boss and secretary role play.
I'll be the best secretary ever.
Chirag, I understand and I appreciate it.
That's great! There's no problem then.
In fact, I've even told my family and they don't mind me doing an MBA.
-I've typed out the refusal letter. -Chirag!
Are you a moron?
You told your family?
Just because I want to do an MBA doesn't mean you should also.
Nabo, why are being so rude?
I'm being candid with you and you're just snapping at me.
-I'm doing this for us! -Then don't!
I don't want your help.
In fact, for once, let me do my own fucking thing and you do yours.
No wonder being on your own hasn't got you a single job.
Thanks.
That's quite an intense placement season in the campus.
So, let's say, you have a project at hand
where you need to deliver a certain module within a tight timeline.
And your team is facing a lot of bugs and errors that are uncalled for.
What will you do to fix those with your experience?
What the fuck!
He's up. Talk to him.
It's Akanksha. Speak to her.
Listen to me carefully. EDS, Linfy and some more mass recruiters are coming.
Agri, Mechanical, Civil, IT, it's open for all. And you are eligible too.
Up to two backlogs are allowed, a decent package and the Apti test is in three days.
Start preparing for it.
What are you two up to?
Get on with it, man!
I've spoken to Nabomita. She'll help with the aptitude test.
Chirag will help you prepare for GD.
Your clothes are ironed. The guy from room 306 will get your shoes polished.
Sunil Narain is getting his deo collection. Choose whichever you like.
And after all this, you have four minutes left.
Have a smoke.
Take it, man.
Your days of wearing formal have finally come.
-I knew this would happen. -Oh, really?
Oh, shit!
Good morning, sir. Good morning, ma'am.
As our topic is, should mobile phones be allowed in colleges?
Quick. Copy it.
He's coming. Hurry up.
May I come in, sir?
You must be very tense I guess.
Yes, sir.
It's alright. Relax.
-Jatin Kishore. -Yes, sir.
Let's talk about your CV later.
For starters, how come Agricultural Engineering?
Well, sir, our country has seen the biggest
agriculture and green revolution.
And our farmers are...
-As in Kisan in Hindi? -Yes.
So, you're saying that you are passionate about agriculture?
It is my...
-May I have some water, sir? -Sure. Go for it.
Just water or anything else too?
Have it. Relax.
Your CV states that
you were the General Secretary of Hostel Affairs.
-Yes, sir. That's where I have learnt leadership skills. -Okay.
Then why did you leave your post before the tenure?
To focus on my studies, sir. It was my decision to quit.
Had your focus been on studies, your marks wouldn't look like this.
Jatin, how did you get this injury?
What's up, bro? You got through?
-Yes, I did. -That's great.
In AZL Private.
I won't take this job.
Why?
I'll do an M.Tech from here. And what good is a CTC of three lakhs anyway?
They're just fooling us.
See you later.
Yes, sir. I'll need that.
Right away.
Thank you.
You and Ravi Teja are the only ones sulking despite getting a job.
He wasn't allowed for the other companies, that's why.
What's wrong?
I'm furious with my father.
Why did he have to get me into a stream which requires labour work?
You call this salary? It's daily wages.
It's even less than the minimum taxable income.
I'm not a daily wage labourer.
Ankit, I've dated you for almost two years.
There's one thing about you that I know better.
-What is it? -That you're a prize moron.
Ankit, you've got a core job.
Look at people who've done Aerospace but are working in IT firms.
It's the experience you'll gain. A little compromise now won't hurt.
Think about your overall career growth.
I've thought about it. I know.
-But I can't... -Just a minute.
Did you even bother to research about the company?
Of course not.
Look here.
AZL Private is a road construction company.
It has completed 6 big projects in the last few months which is crazy growth.
Your growth will be exponential here.
And it all depends on how much you work.
Here there's a chance of role change and salary growth every three months.
See here. This is your CTC. And this is your in-hand salary, right?
Which is great and I'll tell you why.
All your expenses including accommodation,
food, travel, and miscellaneous will be borne by the company.
You won't have to pay for that. So, you save on that.
All the other guys have to bear these expenses.
In your case, what comes in hand stays in hand.
If you think about it, your salary is way more than their savings.
On top of that,
their last two projects were on a hill. So, you might get a Hill Allowance too.
Everything's going into your pocket.
-What more do you want? -Really?
But, Akku, you're absolutely correct about one thing.
I'm such a prize moron.
Thanks.
And I'm very sorry.
This last entire year I was very distant.
I had promised that I'll be a good friend.
Sorry for that. And thank you. You're the best.
-I mean, you're really... -It's okay. Chill.
I'm Akanksha Pechkas Thakur.
I know how to tighten the loose screws of friendship.
That was a bad one. A very bad one.
I just remembered I'm yet to tell my father.
-You haven't told him yet? -I'm going to now.
You're telling him now? After so many days?
-What were you waiting for? -Hello.
Hello, dad. How are you?
Yes. I got a core job.
Thank you, dad.
And you know, my salary is as good as savings.
They'll pay for my food and accommodation.
Yes. I'll get the Hill Allowance too.
I'm a Civil Engineer, after all, dad. Of course, you'd know, you're one too.
Okay. Yes, sure. Tell mom.
Dad, call mom on the phone.
Yes.
Hello, mom. How are you?
Yes. I got a job.
Definitely, sir. I think I can fit into your company.
I have certain skills that I think can benefit your company.
Let's talk about that.
Your problem-solving and spontaneous thinking abilities,
let's put them to test.
You had a subject in your course
called Irrigation and Water systems.
Right? Let's say there are five fields.
You need to provide water to all of them simultaneously.
So as an agricultural engineer, how will you do it?
You need to supply water to multiple fields.
Multiple fields. Five of them.
You need to irrigate them simultaneously.
Jhantoo! Want some spicy water balls? Come.
Can I draw it, sir?
Sure.
So, let's say there are five fields.
If we try to irrigate them using a single pipeline from a water source,
the pressure might cause the quantity of water to vary from field to field.
For that reason, at the source, we will have to attach five pipes
using nozzles and joints that can be directly connected to the fields.
This will help not only in the irrigation,
but also in saving water.
This way the crops can drink neat...
I mean, they can absorb as much water as they want
or they require.
That's all, sir.
Teja, please go. I won't bow in front of you. Go away.
Nabo.
Can we talk inside?
Sure.
Don't look!
What's this?
I'm sorry for what I said.
To control my tongue, I wanted to say sorry to you in all possible languages.
7,050 languages still to go.
-See. -Chirag, it's okay.
I am not angry.
I just...
I spent the first three years of my hostel life looking for a decent boy.
For a relationship.
I wasted time on Ankit first
and then on random morons.
Then I realised that's not what I'm looking for.
I just want a good friend. And...
Nabo, no! Don't go there, please.
This is the last year of college. Don't friendzone me now.
Shut up, Chirag. Of course, I love you.
I love you too.
But that doesn't mean we sacrifice our dreams for a college relationship.
-Right? -Yes. But...
Okay, listen.
Let's say that we study together, live together.
In fact, we do everything together.
It will certainly feel good.
I agree. It will be fun.
But just think about it.
If someday, after waking up and reading my text,
instead of love,
what if you regret not taking such a good job?
What will you do then?
Chirag.
I really don't want to be the poison that kills your dreams. Okay?
And as far as our relationship is concerned,
if we are meant to be, we will be. Right?
Always.
Always?
Sure?
Chirag, no. Don't be a bad Chirag.
-No. -Nabo, stop treating me like a puppy.
Nabo.
Pat me on the back. What are you doing?
Nicely.
'Come to Uncle's. Jhantoo's result is going to be out.'
-Chirag. -Yes.
Jhantoo's result is going to be out. Come, let's go.
-Will some more companies be coming? -Yes.
Just give me one day and I'll sort it out.
-Guys! -Coming.
-Has it come? -No. Not yet.
How was your technical round?
Don't worry. Stay positive. You'll make it.
Hi, guys! Is the list out?
Jhantoo, did you get through?
Read the fucking room, Ankit.
Oh. It's here.
Tell us.
-Jatin... G... -Further down.
Check names under J.
Well...
Any more names?
No worries. They're going to put out a second list.
Bro, next time for sure.
-It's your turn today. Hit him. -Show your back or get thrashed.
Prahlad, your card. Give me your card.
Cash or card?
'Didn't make it to the first list.'
More than half of them are yet to get a placement.
Have some tea. It's hot.
I just want Jhantoo to get through.
He must make it.
I hope so.
Weren't you supposed to reply to your company?
What did you decide? Are you taking it?
Yes. I'm taking the job.
-Yes! Sorry. -Keep it down.
You cleared your HR round?
Congrats, dude!
Zip it, man!
For once, read the fucking room, Ankit!
-Are you an idiot? -Sorry, guys.
Jhantoo! It's here.
-Open it. -Just a minute, guys.
-Okay. -Show us.
Skip to J.
Just wait. Will you?
-Say something. -We're checking.
-Go to the next page. -It's not there.
-Are you sure? -Yes.
Is there going to be another list?
This was the last one for this company.
Are you sure?
Those who keep trying never fail.
If this was true, then nobody would be unhappy.
Everybody would be a winner.
Every team would get a trophy.
One-sided love would only be a myth.
And my job would be in danger.
During the placements, students go through a roller-coaster of emotions.
They're stressed, restless, and exhausted.
And they're relieved only when they have the offer letter in hand.
'Couldn't make it to the 2nd list either.'
And whoever doesn't get it feels only one thing.
Asshole.
You're a fucking loser!
Dumbass.
You're a fucking dickhead. A douchebag.
Jhantoo.
Jaat.
What the fuck are you doing here?
Where did you disappear for so many weeks?
Say something, will you?
Why aren't you participating in the placements?
Because, bro, I'm shit-scared.
The Jaat who scares people is scared thinking nobody might give him a job.
It's not that I never felt like studying.
I did.
But nobody believed in me.
Not even my own father.
You know me. I can fight even ten guys at once without an ounce of fear.
But school exam results always scared the crap out of me.
And that same fear
has been haunting me for the past few days.
There was no way I could dodge the school exams.
But I've decided to dodge this job exam.
Because if I fail even in this,
then these people who call me an illiterate, imbecile and knucklehead
will stick those labels on me forever.
Eventually, I'll have to go back to ploughing my father's field.
So, this placement, enjoyment, whatever it is,
you focus on it and leave this loser alone.
Asshole! How can you be a loser when people called me Jhantoo?
Look at our hostel boys. Look at me. Does any one of us look like a winner?
We're all losers, my friend.
But you certainly are a bigger loser.
Not because you're shit-scared.
But because you don't even want to try out of the fear of getting fucked.
People go searching for opportunities. We're getting it right here.
You want to plough your father's field? Go ahead.
But first, try to get at least one job offer here.
We've paid such hefty fees anyway.
So we better step out of here with at least one job.
Shall I tell you something? Those on the bottom rung,
whom you call losers, look very much like you and me.
They're so down at the bottom that looking up is the only option for them.
Are you taking a dump?
No, bro. I haven't shat for four days.
You can hide from everyone else but not from me.
Come, let's go.
Guys, he's here!
Come, everyone. Come.
-There he is. -Extended list!
-Extended list!
-You are selected!
Thank you, Akku. Thank you so much.
I thank you from all my heart. You're the best.
Thank you.
Hug it out, man!
-Party! -Party!
Superb!
Jhantoo, now that you've got a job, I'm confident that I too can get one.
Just tell me what to do.
I'm sloshed now. I'll tell you in the morning. Go and sleep till then.
-This is your room. -Then go to yours, dumbass.
-Yes, I'm going. Good night. -Good night.
Rakhi, my sweetheart.
-I love you. -I'm not sleeping with you tonight.
-Okay. -Good night.
-Good night! -Good night!
-Good night, bro. -Good night.
Good night.
Good night!
You must've done something at least?
I told you. It's not that I didn't try. I just get scared.
Yes, we know. Stop mouthing the same monologue.
Let me think.
A fake certificate is an option. But it'll cost you quite a bit.
Yes, that can be done.
Works for me. I have some gold. We can sell it.
Where did you get all this from?
My closet is always locked.
This is all my trash, guys.
Sports medals. They are of no use now.
Sell it.
So, guys, this is my first medal at college for tug of war,
-where you pull the rope. I won in it. -I know.
-Why not, guys? -We can't use that. Let's take this.
Rupesh Bhati, what does feminism in the workplace mean to you?
You're a girl. Behave like a girl. Don't spout too many questions.
One who says such things should be fired immediately.
What's going on?
Sorry, sir. I was just...
The first five answers are option D. Then A, B, A, B, and then C.
So the topic is, what is the future of the internet?
That's a beautiful question.
Mr. Rupesh Bhati can give you the right answer.
Yes, Mr. Bhati.
Internet is www
-dot. -Perfect!
How enlightening!
That's exactly what I was thinking, sir.
He's right. He's very right. Accurate.
-What I'm thinking is that... -Shut up!
Mr. Rupesh Bhati, continue.
Internet is free. Internet is fast.
How are you so relaxed?
I've sent those students for GD who've already gotten through 2 other rounds.
This round is of no use to them.
So, I pulled in a favour. They'll only be there as Jaat's fake competition.
-I see. -That's brilliant!
And Wi-Fi is faster.
Correct.
-Correct. -Wi-fi password
sometimes get, sometimes don't. Internet again free.
Watch it, man!
So, Mr. Rupesh Bhati.
What do you think about workplace behaviour?
Excuse me, sir.
I'm not going to make it, guys. I know.
The interviewer only kept staring at me all the while as if I was a thief.
He was interviewing me as if I was the police jeep and he was the cop.
It's here.
Take a look, Jaat.
You guys can keep looking. I already know my result.
-Jaat. -Look for Rupesh.
Look under R.
-There it is. -Yes, it's here.
I had already said that nobody will hire this uncouth village boy.
It was Jhantoo who pumped me saying we must land a job, come what may.
Are you happy now?
Rupesh Bhati selected.
What?
Your Highness, You are great!
-Accept our gift. -Accept our gift.
-I got the job? -Yes.
I'll get a salary every month?
Yes, dude.
-I'll get a provident fund. -Hey.
My salary will be all white money.
I'll have my own bank account.
I'll get weekends off.
Fucker, wait till we spank you.
Akku! Come, join us! Akku! Come!
Akanksha.
How will you fix those with your experience?
To answer your question, ma'am,
before jumping to any solution, we need to address the problem.
It's important to identify where the bugs are located.
Bugs are bound to be there.
For no code is perfect.
But they certainly help complete the code.
And that's how we run a program.
It's important for a program to keep running.
Bugs are just a part of the process.
Honestly, I am very impressed with you.
You are very confident and that's very good for the company.
Before we move ahead to discuss your salary and company guidelines,
I'd like to tell you that the company will be very happy to have you onboard.
Do you have any questions for us?
Please feel free to ask.
Actually, I do.
Ma'am, if I may ask, how many employees are there in your company?
Around 350.
And are all of them equally skilled and talented?
Of course not. That's not possible.
Exactly.
Ma'am, after being the placement coordinator for my batch,
I've realised that not all students have the privilege of getting placed.
Not all students have smooth interviews.
Not all students make it. Some of them don't even have to.
When we kick a football and it hits the goal post,
it's because of kinetic energy.
Whereas the entire credit should go to the hidden potential energy
that gives it the correct push.
I want to be that push.
But I'm afraid I can't do it whilst working under someone.
-So, are you saying... -I appreciate the offer.
But I'm sorry. I can't take the job. the offer.