WEBVTT
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So, are we ready to start
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Ai+ Nova Smartphones presents
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India's Got Latent?
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Quick delivery partner, Flipkart Minutes.
Protein partner, Avvatar Protein.
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Fragrance partner, Wild Stone.
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And District, make plans and go out!
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Man, what a sellout I am!
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So, we've got a banger panel for you.
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Make some noise for Balraj Ghai!
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Aashish Solanki!
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Krushna Abhishek!
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And Huma Qureshi!
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- How are you?
- Good. Give it up for everyone!
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What an amazing panel today!
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Huma Qureshi, Krushna Abhishek,
Aashish Solanki, Balraj Ghai.
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Today's panel is made up entirely
of the industry's supporting cast!
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Well, Huma ji,
thank you so much for coming.
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Huma Qureshi, fresh off her film Toxic.
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- Yes?
- Yeah.
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Usually, people come here,
and then their movies flop.
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You're the first to come here
after a flop.
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I just did a movie called Toxic.
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You're toxic in real life.
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But people actually watch me!
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I know, I know.
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I know. I think, you know,
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on Netflix, hate-watching
is an actual metric now, so…
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So maybe Toxic goes to Netflix now.
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But why is it called Toxic?
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Is it because watching it
makes you want to drink poison?
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He lures you in by saying,
"Come on the show. It'll be fun."
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I know! He invites you so sweetly,
saying, "Please come!"
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"You'll be so cool! It'll be so much fun!"
And then, once you're here,
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he just starts spewing venom!
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No, I was really looking forward to it.
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I know.
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Did you all watch Toxic?
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No!
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No? You should watch it at least once.
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No.
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- The trailer had so many sex scenes.
- You--
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Then I went to see the movie,
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and the only ones who got fucked
were the audience.
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Love you, Huma ji.
Round of applause for Huma ji, come on!
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Samay, I love you, man.
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We also have Kapil Sharma's Balraj!
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Come on, don't leave me hanging!
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He took being called Balraj as an insult.
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Krushna bhai, how does it feel
to be without a script for once?
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Do you get it?
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Not a single word came out.
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We'd been planning for two years
for me to come on the show.
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But as soon as the date was finalized,
he got locked up the very next day.
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Then, as soon as he got out--
Not out of jail, but brought down a peg…
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He started all over again.
But I genuinely love this show,
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and I love this guy.
Give it up for Samay!
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Thank you so much for having me.
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I really love you too, sir.
Thank you so much for coming.
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- Genuinely.
- Thank you.
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- Krushna bhai--
- We've been huge fans of yours
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since Comedy Circus and all.
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Whenever I watched you,
I'd think, "Who else is there?"
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Seriously, you've come a long way.
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He used to be known as Govinda's nephew,
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but with how things are going
for him now,
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he's saying, "I'm Krishna's uncle."
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Don't show me!
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We just made up after all this time,
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and we might end up fighting again.
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Don't say anything about my uncle, Samay.
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Because if he shows up,
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you'll have to fall at his feet
and beg for forgiveness.
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And you know where he shoots?
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Himself in the leg.
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Oh, I didn't know that.
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- You didn't know?
- No, what happened?
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- Well…
- He shot himself in the leg.
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- Yeah.
- Yes.
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- Yes.
- Why?
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He had just watched Toxic.
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Solanki!
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But let's hear it
for Krushna Abhishek, man!
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And my good friend
Aashish Solanki is here, man. Come on!
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If you noticed, Aashish bhai,
you were here last time too,
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and I didn't make fun of you.
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And I'm not going
to roast him this time either.
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Not because he's a good friend
or a good comedian,
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but because his dad's a cop.
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And the Delhi Police hit pretty hard.
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Something happened in Delhi recently.
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Where the police saw a lot of action.
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- Did your dad go there?
- Hey!
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People were mad at the police
for doing that.
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I kept getting emails.
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"Get your dad under control!"
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- They think my dad--
- Bro, I sent it on WhatsApp!
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He emails. He's professional like that.
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But give it up for Balraj Ghai too, man!
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How are you feeling, Balraj bhai?
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I'm genuinely happy
to be on this panel, and
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thank you so much for coming out, guys.
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Give yourselves a hand too, genuinely.
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You make such a sweet crowd.
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Today feels like my own show.
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Here's a young, healthy Archana ji
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and a sickly Sidhu paaji.
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The only difference is, at his venue,
people come and say, "Hit it!"
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Hi, I'm Avirup,
and I'm a crazy magician,
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and I need a volunteer for this act
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who will give me a 100-rupee note.
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And let me tell you,
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whoever volunteers gets a good surprise.
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Sir, do you have a 100-rupee note?
Anyone?
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- I do.
- Anyone? All right.
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- I have one.
- No, doesn't matter. All right.
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Watch!
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Can you see the serial number
on this bill?
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- 266443?
- Yes.
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Just remember it.
Can you write it down?
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266443, just remember it.
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Now, look at this bill.
Watch, look at it.
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What if I fold it like this?
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See? It's folded in half, right?
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Now I fold it again,
and it's in quarters.
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Now it's folded into eighths.
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Here's a case where you can still
see the color of the bill, right?
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Do you know what bill this is?
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- A 100.
- Watch.
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Now the magic happens.
If I fold it again,
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you'll see the color of the bill change…
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- to orange.
- Wow.
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Wait. Yeah, you got that right.
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If I open it up,
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it should change
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to a fucking 200.
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That's double! Who gave me the bill?
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- You won this. It's yours!
- Thanks.
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Give him a huge round of applause!
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And I said you'd get a surprise.
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Inside, I have a surprise for you.
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Which is…
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No, not this.
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Which is something
related to that color.
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What do you think it is?
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An orange!
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You're absolutely right,
because inside this…
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Come on out, man!
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What's in there?
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You got that right. It's an orange!
You're absolutely right.
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Hey, that's mine!
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- That's my stuff!
- Yes!
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- Now--
- Hey, I'm shooting tomorrow! Give it!
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I'm giving it to you.
I'm giving it to you.
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It's not just one orange, but two.
Two.
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Yeah, there are two!
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- He took mine from outside--
- Okay, watch this!
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- Watch this.
- I'm shooting with Kapil tomorrow!
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Dude, don't cut it!
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Cutting it makes two halves, right?
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So, I take this.
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And watch this, all right?
Nothing in my hands.
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If I open it like this…
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I'm going to cut it.
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What did you do?!
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As you can see,
there's something inside.
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Oh, my God!
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That's crazy.
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Krushna ji, can you please take it out?
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Money in my oranges?!
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Wait, can you take it out?
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Just take it out.
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- Can you open it and check the serial?
- What?
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No, no, no!
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No…
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My God!
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What is it?
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- It's the same!
- What is it?
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26-- 266443!
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Yes!
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Man, this is amazing!
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- I've seen lots of magic, but wow!
- Thank you.
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Fantastic, man! Really good!
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I've seen all kinds of magicians
perform tricks,
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but this was something unique, man.
Great job!
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- Thank you so much!
- No doubt. Fantastic!
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You got a bit too worked
up over the orange.
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- No!
- You over-connected.
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"He's our guy." That's what it is!
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Yeah, man!
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He actually worked
to pull that money out.
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Unlike your dad,
who just gets 100 bucks!
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Another lawsuit is coming, bastard!
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- Avirup bhai, wow, brilliant!
- Thanks, man.
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How long have you been doing this?
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I've been performing since 2014
and learning magic since 2009.
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I do magic in a very crazy,
unconventional way,
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unlike anything people are used to seeing.
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Can you hold this mic?
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People do magic. I just do whatever.
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I pop my fingers out,
pop them back in, whatever.
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I even do things like this.
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Sometimes I do this, too.
It's called the nipple jingle.
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No one understands this.
I can actually pull my nipple out
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and put it back in.
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Bro!
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Bro!
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Bro!
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Hold on, what's got you so shocked
about the nipple thing?
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You do that too!
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Oranges were fine,
but now he's taking off his nipples!
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What is this?!
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How did you do that?!
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Bro, listen! Make mine vanish, man.
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Men have just one body part
that's completely useless,
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so I figured
I might as well do magic with it.
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Wow, bro!
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If you can do this,
why bother with the money trick, dude?
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A ten-second act. Walk in,
pop the nipple out, and you're done!
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Nipple gone, nipple back,
nipple gone, nipple back. Wow!
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What kind of boomerang is this?
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The kind where nipples fly off?
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- Bro, he made his nipple vanish!
- Mind-blowing, man.
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Holy crap, he'd starve
someone's baby, man!
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That makes your average 9.5.
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- Oh, man!
- No!
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- Don't do that, bro!
- No, no, no!
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- He knows his stuff. He's a mentalist.
- What?
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I wish I was a good mentalist.
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- Eight?!
- What?!
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- What are you saying?!
- Only eight?
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You brought such good stuff!
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An eight? Unbelievable!
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- Oh, man!
- It's all good, bro. Thank you so much.
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I'll edit it so it looks like
an eight, don't worry.
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- Thank you.
- Thank you so much.
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Round of applause
for the crazy magician, guys!
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Oh, bro!
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Maan Bihari Pandey!
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Are you a professional dancer?
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Which brothel do you dance at?
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What kind of brothel
has dancing like that?
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And which dance's honor
have you actually upheld?
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Nice one, paaji!
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His first punchline in two seasons!
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Big day.
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You wrote,
"I'm shamelessly a mama's boy."
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Yes.
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I am. Mom--
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Do you know what it means,
or did someone make you write it?
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My sister wrote it, but I know.
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I know.
A mama's boy is his mom's favorite.
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And you don't love your dad?
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Well, he'd have to be home for that!
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Go on, say it.
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Say it. Come on.
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Go on.
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Say it.
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Dad, you?
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Seriously, my own kids--
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I was doing two to three shows
on network TV.
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I was so busy that,
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during COVID, my kids finally realized
I was actually their dad.
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- Because I was home.
- Did they think you were their mom before?
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Mommy, please give me orange juice.
13:31.600 --> 13:33.240
And this guy's a clean comic.
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Read the "switch lives" one.
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Read it. Can't you read English?
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This word-- I can't read this word.
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Something weird.
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"If you could switch lives
with someone, you'd want to…
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switch it with Malthus,
the madman who had…"
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- "Who had two…"
- I think only you can read this.
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"Malthus,
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- the madam of our colony--"
- Madman. Madman.
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- Look at him.
- Sorry.
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I'm sorry, guys.
It's just a biological word.
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- What's wrong with you men?
- That's exactly what I was wondering.
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- How can a madam have one?
- So, you write here--
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- The man--
- Basically, I'll tell you…
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- These guys are just--
- "The madman of our colony who has…"
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Huma ji, please.
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- You say it. She'll read it.
- Huma ji.
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Okay, guys.
All these men are just being shy.
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He wants to switch lives
with his neighborhood madman,
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a man who has two penises.
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- Yeah, that's so…
- Yeah.
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- Bilingual.
- It's the way you say it.
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Bro! Two punchlines!
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Brilliant!
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So tell us about your…
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Duolingo.
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For stamina…
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Why do you need two for stamina?
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When one's done, the next…
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When one's done, you use the next.
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Stop it!
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Baby Do Die Do.
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Nice one.
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Hey, woman with one penis,
why don't you tell him something?
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Why aren't you talking to him?
15:19.240 --> 15:21.720
You're a great dancer.
What did you think of his dance?
15:22.960 --> 15:24.920
- Oh, yeah, of course!
- Zero.
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No one has made me laugh as much
as you have as Sapna on Kapil's show.
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How sweet!
15:31.640 --> 15:32.560
How sweet!
15:32.640 --> 15:34.320
Then I'll give you a massage today.
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We have different kinds of massages.
15:44.520 --> 15:46.320
I'll give you the Afghan Jalebi massage.
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- Okay. Alright.
- First, we rub you with oil,
15:49.680 --> 15:51.040
then two Afghan guys come in.
15:57.920 --> 15:59.320
And your dream will come true.
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That makes your average seven.
16:06.040 --> 16:07.080
It'll be seven, you'll see.
16:11.480 --> 16:12.960
That was… great.
16:15.000 --> 16:16.520
We really should've given him a five.
16:16.680 --> 16:18.200
But thank you so much for joining us, man.
16:18.280 --> 16:19.400
- Thank you.
- Wow.
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That's enough. I'll just be talking.
16:23.080 --> 16:26.120
You probably already guessed
that I went to a government school.
16:27.400 --> 16:29.440
Yeah, where I'm from, they teach us…
16:29.520 --> 16:31.200
that Newton sold apples.
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For real.
16:38.680 --> 16:40.480
His dad's name was Oldton.
16:43.200 --> 16:44.320
Oldton…
16:46.960 --> 16:50.800
Okay, now, let me tell you
about my girlfriend. Right?
16:51.040 --> 16:52.000
Meaning, I don't have one.
16:54.480 --> 16:55.680
That's all I wanted to say.
17:03.080 --> 17:04.520
Well, I used to have one.
17:04.839 --> 17:05.960
She was blindly in love with me.
17:06.640 --> 17:08.520
You guys are looking at me right now.
17:08.880 --> 17:11.160
Do I look like a "baby" from any angle?
17:13.400 --> 17:14.520
She'd still call me "baby."
17:15.440 --> 17:17.680
I didn't even look like a baby
when I was a baby.
17:23.640 --> 17:26.400
One day, she suddenly said,
"Let's do BDSM."
17:27.040 --> 17:29.400
Right? I said,
"I was planning to do MBBS…"
17:36.960 --> 17:38.280
- Really.
- Nice!
17:38.880 --> 17:40.280
- Good one!
- Too good.
17:40.360 --> 17:42.560
Then she told me it wasn't a degree.
17:42.720 --> 17:43.560
Yeah.
17:43.640 --> 17:45.320
"You get to hit me in this."
17:46.200 --> 17:47.720
I'd been mad at her for a long time.
17:56.160 --> 17:57.760
I just never got the chance.
17:59.000 --> 18:01.400
I got my chance that day,
and threw ten punches in a minute.
18:03.760 --> 18:04.800
She passed out.
18:07.360 --> 18:09.320
She woke up and said,
"Just stick to MBBS."
18:18.080 --> 18:19.400
- Wow!
- Too good!
18:19.480 --> 18:20.640
Brilliant!
18:22.120 --> 18:23.080
Too good!
18:24.680 --> 18:26.640
- How long have you done this?
- Me? Six years.
18:26.800 --> 18:27.840
- Awesome, man!
- Oh, wow!
18:28.000 --> 18:29.000
- Too good!
- Too good!
18:29.120 --> 18:31.160
Samay's excited that
he found the next judge.
18:32.360 --> 18:34.360
No, really, you can just go home, man.
18:37.440 --> 18:38.680
- No, haven't been paid yet.
- Brilliant!
18:39.320 --> 18:41.320
His style is like he's also got an itch.
18:44.960 --> 18:46.880
He has that swaying thing going on.
18:46.960 --> 18:48.840
No, I'm just a little nervous.
18:48.920 --> 18:49.760
I see.
18:49.840 --> 18:51.480
This is the first time
I'm seeing him as a man.
18:56.440 --> 18:57.520
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
18:57.600 --> 18:59.040
No, no, that was great, man!
19:00.320 --> 19:03.720
And this relationship status you wrote…
19:04.400 --> 19:05.440
It says, "Salman Khan."
19:06.400 --> 19:07.720
- He has written "Salman Khan."
- Look.
19:07.800 --> 19:09.760
Better not. You'll get screwed.
19:18.480 --> 19:19.960
Oh, my God!
19:20.320 --> 19:21.680
- What a guy!
- Great job, man!
19:21.760 --> 19:23.840
- You're amazing, dude!
- What a guy!
19:23.920 --> 19:26.280
You deliver jokes so cutely, man.
19:26.360 --> 19:27.480
Genuinely, you're too good.
19:27.560 --> 19:30.320
You said the same thing in the green room
four years ago.
19:31.040 --> 19:33.400
When I text you for a spot,
you never give me one.
19:33.480 --> 19:35.640
When did you last text me?
Show me.
19:36.280 --> 19:38.640
- I don't have my phone on me.
- No, I have mine.
19:39.160 --> 19:40.880
You actually went and blocked me.
19:40.960 --> 19:42.840
Where'd I block you?
Wait a minute.
19:42.920 --> 19:45.200
- Let me see. Wait a minute…
- Oh, the gentleman!
19:46.680 --> 19:48.760
- Wait.
- Bro, he doesn't reply to any "baby."
19:53.160 --> 19:54.240
Look at this, bro.
19:56.320 --> 19:57.520
Give it here. I'll read it.
19:57.840 --> 19:59.440
The last spot was last night.
19:59.600 --> 20:01.440
- Oh! I was here yesterday.
- Him?
20:01.520 --> 20:02.960
Well, thank you.
20:03.040 --> 20:04.360
You wrote here that
20:04.440 --> 20:08.760
starting at 13,
you worked as a waiter for nine years.
20:08.840 --> 20:10.320
- Yeah.
- That's incredible, man!
20:10.400 --> 20:11.560
Well, what happened was,
20:11.640 --> 20:14.560
I crashed a stranger's wedding
with my friends,
20:15.040 --> 20:18.080
and my friends ran off,
leaving me to wash dishes.
20:18.640 --> 20:19.840
Then I started getting work.
20:29.040 --> 20:30.040
- You're very hardworking.
- He's funny.
20:30.120 --> 20:31.080
He is.
20:31.160 --> 20:32.840
He's really funny.
20:33.480 --> 20:35.360
Give him a spot or something
on your show, man.
20:35.440 --> 20:36.440
Hundred percent, man.
20:36.520 --> 20:38.880
I think he'll do better on his own.
20:39.400 --> 20:40.880
- Yeah…
- No, I meant him giving you a spot.
20:46.640 --> 20:47.760
Give him a spot.
20:48.360 --> 20:50.160
I'll get you for this.
20:51.000 --> 20:53.120
It says here that
a Hinge date beat you up.
20:53.320 --> 20:55.760
After a breakup,
I went on Hinge and stuff.
20:56.240 --> 20:58.480
I matched and went,
completely clueless,
20:58.560 --> 21:00.240
and it turned out to be three guys.
21:02.000 --> 21:03.760
They took all my money.
21:04.800 --> 21:06.400
When they found a condom,
they beat me up.
21:08.160 --> 21:10.040
"Who brings this on a first date?!"
21:11.480 --> 21:15.960
As a girl, what do you think
he should work on to impress women?
21:16.040 --> 21:16.960
Krushna bhai?
21:27.240 --> 21:29.280
- What can he do?
- Go ahead, tell him, Huma ji.
21:29.360 --> 21:30.840
No, you've been a girl longer than her.
21:34.720 --> 21:36.120
I think you're super cute.
21:36.200 --> 21:38.760
As Krushna said,
you have a sweet smile.
21:38.840 --> 21:41.480
Please just stay the way you are.
21:41.560 --> 21:42.400
Totally.
21:42.480 --> 21:46.200
And keep cracking jokes on dates.
21:46.280 --> 21:47.800
Girls like funny people.
21:48.560 --> 21:50.960
So, you're saying if someone
goes on a date with you
21:51.320 --> 21:54.240
and says, "I always thought
Newton's dad was Oldton…"
21:56.600 --> 21:58.200
- She'll go, "Oh, my lover!"
- That's--
21:58.720 --> 22:00.120
"Now that's a real man!"
22:00.560 --> 22:03.160
You think? Why are you lying?
22:03.240 --> 22:05.800
He's right here.
Do you have to say it to his face?
22:06.120 --> 22:07.600
Do you have to break his heart?
22:07.680 --> 22:09.040
Why not give genuine advice?
22:09.120 --> 22:10.960
How did you meet your--
Do you have a boyfriend?
22:12.120 --> 22:13.040
Do I what?
22:14.720 --> 22:16.760
No personal questions, Samay.
We discussed this.
22:16.840 --> 22:19.080
- I won't ask you, and you won't ask me.
- Okay, done.
22:20.720 --> 22:22.160
- Promise? Deal.
- Promise.
22:22.560 --> 22:24.920
So, tell us about your acting coach…
22:26.560 --> 22:27.760
No, never mind, nothing.
22:27.840 --> 22:28.960
- No, sorry, sorry!
- What did you--
22:29.040 --> 22:31.000
- You were saying?
- Sorry, sorry.
22:31.520 --> 22:34.280
You wrote here that
if you could travel back in time,
22:34.360 --> 22:36.880
you'd go back four days. Why?
22:36.960 --> 22:38.760
I watched Toxic four days ago.
22:44.800 --> 22:46.360
That makes your average…
22:49.040 --> 22:49.920
ten out of ten.
22:52.760 --> 22:53.800
- Einstein!
- Show.
22:54.600 --> 22:55.880
Look, I want you to--
22:55.960 --> 22:58.080
- Oh, man!
- Oh, man!
22:59.200 --> 23:02.400
Unbelievable, man!
You prepped so well.
23:02.480 --> 23:03.720
- Why?
- Why 8.5?
23:03.800 --> 23:05.760
I didn't expect it to go this well.
23:06.600 --> 23:08.920
- Thank you so much for coming.
- Sunil, you're too good, man!
23:09.000 --> 23:10.600
- I have an offer.
- Oh, no, bro…
23:10.680 --> 23:13.680
Your first four solo shows
are on the house, bro.
23:13.760 --> 23:16.320
No rent. Nothing.
I'll organize everything here, at Habitat.
23:16.400 --> 23:18.200
- Wow, man!
- That's great, Balraj!
23:19.480 --> 23:21.240
- Salma Deewani…
- Take some, eat up!
23:21.680 --> 23:24.840
Go on, take some. Why so shy?
You have some too.
23:25.520 --> 23:27.600
- Eat, eat. Have some.
- Eat, eat.
23:27.680 --> 23:28.760
Come on, eat.
23:29.680 --> 23:31.960
They sit over there and eat,
so you sit here and eat.
23:32.360 --> 23:34.760
- Come on, eat up.
- Thank you.
23:34.960 --> 23:37.480
Here, take this box
and pass it around back there.
23:39.520 --> 23:42.840
You've been standing so long.
You guys should have some too.
23:42.920 --> 23:44.040
These are Osmania biscuits.
23:45.000 --> 23:47.360
I don't get who you're
protecting from whom.
23:51.000 --> 23:53.400
- You guys eat some.
- Sorry, I don't take sugar. Thank you.
23:53.480 --> 23:54.920
- Eat.
- Give me my two.
23:56.520 --> 23:57.560
Thank you.
23:57.640 --> 23:59.600
- You have one too. Here.
- Hello. Thank you.
23:59.920 --> 24:01.960
- Thank you.
- Look at how much you guys are eating!
24:04.160 --> 24:05.040
Thank you.
24:11.800 --> 24:13.000
As-salamu alaykum.
24:13.080 --> 24:14.760
- Wa alaykum as-salam.
- Wa alaykum as-salam.
24:14.840 --> 24:16.920
Wow, nobody looks scared.
Nice to hear.
24:17.720 --> 24:18.800
That's good.
24:23.920 --> 24:25.920
- How's everyone doing? All well?
- All well!
24:26.000 --> 24:27.160
My name is Salma.
24:28.440 --> 24:30.080
I have a husband, two kids,
24:30.160 --> 24:31.960
a shameless mother-in-law,
an idiot father-in-law,
24:32.040 --> 24:34.440
two lazy sisters-in-law,
and two useless brothers-in-law.
24:35.960 --> 24:38.560
That's just the in-laws.
My family's like that too.
24:42.520 --> 24:44.400
I'm blunt, so don't take offense.
24:44.480 --> 24:46.080
I studied only up to the tenth grade.
24:46.200 --> 24:47.720
It's not that I didn't want to study.
24:47.840 --> 24:50.400
There were just too many kids
and too little money.
24:51.320 --> 24:53.960
Dad asked,
"Why educate a girl child?"
24:54.040 --> 24:56.360
So, he kept me at home
while my brothers went to school.
24:56.440 --> 24:59.040
He even paid for them to repeat grades,
but only they got that chance.
25:00.200 --> 25:01.280
He didn't let me study.
25:03.080 --> 25:05.880
Yeah, if you'd entered my life earlier,
25:05.960 --> 25:07.520
always saying, "Educate girls,"
25:07.680 --> 25:09.240
maybe I'd have studied too.
25:10.080 --> 25:12.040
- When did I say that?
- You said it plenty of times.
25:12.120 --> 25:14.680
- Don't talk nonsense.
- Hey, what did you say?
25:19.360 --> 25:20.320
Let it go.
25:20.520 --> 25:23.240
So many useless men at home,
you know how many?
25:23.440 --> 25:25.520
I want to curse them out,
but I can't!
25:25.800 --> 25:28.440
It's hard. I don't curse here,
I don't curse anywhere,
25:28.560 --> 25:30.760
and it's bad anyway.
So I never do.
25:31.000 --> 25:33.680
If a girl curses,
her reputation is ruined.
25:34.000 --> 25:37.320
Even if you whisper sorry,
Dad slaps you, everyone slaps you.
25:37.480 --> 25:39.200
Right? But with men,
25:39.280 --> 25:42.080
if you curse, nothing happens.
You get awards and stuff instead.
25:54.800 --> 25:58.520
Salma Deewani, the way you looked at
Samay while eating that biscuit,
25:58.600 --> 26:00.920
I felt like there were vibes
between you two, vibes.
26:01.000 --> 26:05.120
No, no, it's not like that. Him speaking
Hyderabadi made my heart so happy.
26:06.280 --> 26:07.680
How come you speak that way?
26:07.840 --> 26:09.360
- I lived in Hyderabad.
- Where?
26:09.440 --> 26:10.600
Vanasthalipuram.
26:10.760 --> 26:12.320
That far? That's not Hyderabad.
26:17.640 --> 26:19.760
That's something
that comes after Hyderabad.
26:21.560 --> 26:23.320
I get it. Total vibes, right?
26:23.440 --> 26:24.680
Total vibes between them.
26:24.760 --> 26:25.760
Well, sister!
26:26.120 --> 26:28.720
- Come on, don't!
- Don't kill the chemistry.
26:28.800 --> 26:31.320
No, I'm already married.
Better if he's my brother.
26:31.400 --> 26:32.600
You're married, right?
26:32.760 --> 26:35.960
My brothers are useless anyway.
One more hardly matters.
26:41.120 --> 26:42.240
Brilliant!
26:45.280 --> 26:46.160
You're incredible.
26:46.240 --> 26:47.200
- So, Salma Deewani,
- Too good.
26:47.280 --> 26:49.440
- did anyone come with you?
- No.
26:49.520 --> 26:50.520
- Came alone?
- Yeah.
26:51.080 --> 26:52.560
- No or yes? What's with you?
- I mean…
26:52.640 --> 26:54.320
No one came with me. I came alone.
26:54.840 --> 26:57.600
But a cousin of mine from here came.
26:57.720 --> 26:58.760
- I see.
- Yeah.
26:58.840 --> 27:00.560
- Which cousin?
- Her husband.
27:10.720 --> 27:13.120
Dude, this kind of stuff
27:13.320 --> 27:15.840
gets the whole panel's photo
in the news!
27:15.920 --> 27:16.880
True!
27:17.800 --> 27:19.240
So, Salma Deewani ji,
27:19.360 --> 27:21.000
- let's talk about something nice.
- Yes.
27:21.240 --> 27:24.320
You wrote here
that you composed a short song.
27:24.800 --> 27:25.680
Yes.
27:26.240 --> 27:27.680
- If you--
- Yeah, that's what we're asking. How?
27:30.200 --> 27:32.000
- Should I sing it?
- Yes, go on.
27:32.360 --> 27:33.360
It's very short.
27:33.840 --> 27:35.040
- Let's hear it.
- Go on.
27:36.400 --> 27:38.720
- First I'll read what I wrote.
- Okay.
27:39.800 --> 27:41.080
It'll help you too.
27:41.160 --> 27:42.160
- For me?
- Yes.
27:42.560 --> 27:45.080
- "Having so much fun."
- "Having so much fun."
27:45.160 --> 27:46.040
Wow!
27:46.800 --> 27:47.760
I'll sing it for you.
27:48.200 --> 27:49.120
Oh, that was it?
27:51.080 --> 27:53.560
- A little haiku.
- That's it.
27:54.200 --> 27:57.440
Having so much fun
27:58.320 --> 28:01.400
Having so much fun
28:02.120 --> 28:05.280
Having so much fun
28:06.000 --> 28:09.320
Having so much fun
28:09.920 --> 28:13.320
Having so much fun
28:13.800 --> 28:17.200
Having so much fun
28:18.280 --> 28:21.040
Guys, stop! I may be crazy,
what's wrong with you all?
28:23.880 --> 28:24.800
Dude!
28:25.120 --> 28:26.320
She's too good, man. Too good.
28:26.400 --> 28:28.360
- I love you!
- Fantastic!
28:28.440 --> 28:30.000
- You're too good!
- You're so much fun!
28:30.560 --> 28:35.320
I once killed 67 mosquitoes
and held a mourning for them.
28:35.440 --> 28:37.000
Yeah, like this…
28:37.320 --> 28:39.320
Had so much fun
28:40.600 --> 28:41.760
You said it so well.
28:43.640 --> 28:45.560
It says if you could swap lives,
28:45.640 --> 28:46.840
you'd pick Anil Kapoor.
28:47.000 --> 28:49.920
Yeah.
He looks great without waxing, too.
28:54.520 --> 28:55.560
Salma Deewani.
28:56.000 --> 28:57.200
Is there any doubt?
28:57.320 --> 28:58.320
- Ten out of ten! Come on!
- I agree.
28:58.440 --> 28:59.640
- Ten out of ten!
- Ten out of ten!
28:59.720 --> 29:00.760
- Ten out of ten.
- Hundred percent.
29:00.840 --> 29:01.680
Ten out of ten!
29:01.760 --> 29:03.360
Hold my biscuit.
29:05.160 --> 29:07.240
Keep it ready.
29:07.400 --> 29:09.440
- Please, come on, please.
- Come on.
29:09.560 --> 29:10.560
Didn't give a ten?
29:10.640 --> 29:13.120
Salma! Salma! Salma!
29:13.200 --> 29:14.720
- Did you give the points?
- Ten.
29:14.800 --> 29:15.760
- Yes, all of us.
- Ten!
29:15.840 --> 29:17.880
- It's a ten.
- A ten from all of us.
29:18.000 --> 29:19.600
I hope you wrote a ten.
29:33.840 --> 29:35.680
You win 100,000 rupees!
29:39.400 --> 29:41.080
What will you do with the money?
29:41.800 --> 29:43.000
I'll give some to Nepal.
29:43.240 --> 29:46.280
- It's my first big earnings.
- Oh, that's so sweet!
29:46.480 --> 29:47.720
It's best given to zakat.
29:47.880 --> 29:49.480
- Look at that! That's so sweet of her.
- A big round of applause!
29:49.640 --> 29:51.200
- Wow.
- That's wonderful!
29:52.080 --> 29:55.600
And you get the new Ai+ Nova 2 phone!
29:55.680 --> 29:56.600
There you go.
29:58.080 --> 29:59.360
Folks, you have to applaud for this!
30:02.160 --> 30:06.320
This phone has the best chipset
and a 6,000 mAh battery.
30:08.240 --> 30:09.720
- It's M-A-H.
- It's mAh, bro.
30:11.480 --> 30:12.960
Dust and water-resistant.
30:13.160 --> 30:14.200
Congratulations!
30:14.400 --> 30:16.160
Take another one for your husband too.
30:16.880 --> 30:17.920
Really?!
30:20.560 --> 30:21.600
Congratulations!
30:21.680 --> 30:23.400
Are you really that rich?
30:23.600 --> 30:25.240
No, this one is super cheap.
30:25.560 --> 30:29.360
If you're rich, give him some money.
His hotel rooms are awful.
30:40.080 --> 30:41.480
- Just now…
- Please remind me
30:41.560 --> 30:43.960
to give a shout-out to Flipkart.
30:44.080 --> 30:45.840
- Okay, I will.
- She's reminded me eight times already!
30:46.200 --> 30:47.200
We'll help.
30:47.600 --> 30:49.400
- Go on.
- I'm screwed
30:49.760 --> 30:51.040
I'm screwed
30:51.240 --> 30:53.720
I'm screwed, my friends
30:54.000 --> 30:56.720
Look how cruel the friend-zone is
30:57.000 --> 30:59.440
I'm screwed, my friends
30:59.640 --> 31:02.320
Look how cruel the friend-zone is
31:02.520 --> 31:05.480
She calls me sweet
My feelings grow
31:05.600 --> 31:08.360
She calls me cute
My feelings grow
31:08.960 --> 31:11.720
But she loves someone else
31:12.840 --> 31:15.240
I'm screwed, my friends
31:16.000 --> 31:16.960
Damn, bro.
31:17.080 --> 31:18.840
There's no act after this.
31:20.400 --> 31:21.960
- What do we do?
- All I can think about is
31:22.040 --> 31:23.520
how you're going
to work Flipkart into this.
31:31.160 --> 31:34.080
- He wants Shah Rukh Khan's Mannat.
- Yes.
31:34.440 --> 31:37.480
You can't get that,
but anything else you want…
31:41.000 --> 31:43.800
- can be ordered from Flipkart.
- Correct.
31:43.920 --> 31:46.240
If you place four orders this month,
31:46.320 --> 31:49.800
you'll get one month of Netflix free.
31:49.880 --> 31:51.800
- There you go.
- Wow!
31:54.240 --> 31:55.800
"Do not say 'free.'"
31:55.880 --> 31:57.960
"Say 'at no extra cost.'"
31:58.080 --> 31:58.920
Oh, shit!
31:59.680 --> 32:01.000
I've already said it.
32:01.680 --> 32:04.720
- Did I say it wrong?
- We can edit it. Say it again.
32:06.200 --> 32:07.080
So, bro…
32:10.080 --> 32:11.200
Yeah, continue.
32:11.600 --> 32:12.480
Yeah.
32:12.560 --> 32:14.200
- Let's imagine that he's a crazy magician.
- Imagine--
32:14.280 --> 32:15.200
Yes, correct.
32:15.400 --> 32:17.400
- Bring back the magician.
- Yes!
32:17.640 --> 32:19.600
- We'll include it in his act.
- Yes!
32:21.200 --> 32:22.400
Was this what you were wearing?
32:22.560 --> 32:23.520
No, he had another look.
32:23.600 --> 32:25.320
- Did you change?
- Did you change your outfit?
32:25.400 --> 32:26.320
Just removed my jacket.
32:26.400 --> 32:28.720
Can you show us a trick
where your jacket disappears?
32:34.120 --> 32:35.000
Bro!
32:36.480 --> 32:37.360
What a star!
32:37.440 --> 32:38.400
What the fuck!
32:38.480 --> 32:40.840
If you want a new jacket,
32:41.360 --> 32:43.720
you can order it on Flipkart.
32:48.080 --> 32:49.640
- It is out of tune.
- The guitar is out of tune.
32:49.720 --> 32:50.560
Yes.
32:51.680 --> 32:53.440
Did you take this show so lightly?
32:53.680 --> 32:54.680
No…
32:54.840 --> 32:57.240
No, bro. I made sure the guitar was tuned.
I don't know…
32:59.040 --> 33:00.320
Hello?
33:00.880 --> 33:03.800
- Oh, shit!
- Oh my! He's so cute, guys!
33:03.880 --> 33:05.120
He's so cute.
33:05.320 --> 33:07.320
Hello, I'm under the water.
33:09.320 --> 33:10.760
Rescue-- Save me.
33:12.640 --> 33:15.160
- No, no. I think he's very cute, guys.
- It's…
33:15.240 --> 33:16.320
Give him a chance.
33:16.400 --> 33:17.440
Don't be mean.
33:17.520 --> 33:18.400
Don't be mean.
33:19.520 --> 33:20.560
Let's go.
33:22.040 --> 33:22.920
Come on.
33:34.800 --> 33:38.120
So if you already knew
this is how you play the guitar
33:38.200 --> 33:40.000
- and this is how you sing,
- Yeah.
33:40.120 --> 33:43.600
why did you waste our time
with all that tuning and everything?
33:43.680 --> 33:47.240
No. So, from the moment I came to know
I will be performing at Latent--
33:47.440 --> 33:49.080
- So you brought a guitar.
- No.
33:50.160 --> 33:51.600
No, bro. I mean…
33:54.080 --> 33:55.040
- This is his best.
- Bro,
33:55.120 --> 33:57.280
you know, Latent is built for this.
33:57.720 --> 33:59.440
This cannot go anywhere else.
34:00.600 --> 34:01.440
No, bro.
34:01.600 --> 34:04.160
This is a very strange.
"Most scared of
34:04.240 --> 34:08.280
being chased by a gangster doggy
while riding a scooter."
34:08.960 --> 34:10.120
Gangster doggy?
34:10.199 --> 34:13.159
He's a dog who brings
all the dogs together with him.
34:13.239 --> 34:14.480
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
34:15.239 --> 34:16.920
That…
34:18.639 --> 34:20.280
He's such a mischievous dog…
34:20.360 --> 34:22.080
- Not you.
- He barks this way…
34:22.760 --> 34:23.639
Yeah.
34:24.040 --> 34:25.679
After that…
34:28.760 --> 34:32.800
I'm telling you, after that, you get
shit scared when he looks at you.
34:33.159 --> 34:35.679
That's okay. He applies Iodex
on bread and eats it.
34:35.960 --> 34:36.800
- What does he do?
- Tell him.
34:36.880 --> 34:38.480
- Iodex…
- I apply Iodex on bread and eat it.
34:40.280 --> 34:42.719
Still a better decision
than doing Toxic, okay?
34:47.159 --> 34:48.600
Come, fight me! Come, fight me!
34:50.239 --> 34:52.120
Only those who have
a reputation can be disgraced.
34:53.120 --> 34:54.360
Hey, hey, hey…
34:54.480 --> 34:56.199
- So, what are you doing here?
- I'm talking about myself.
34:56.280 --> 34:57.520
I'm talking about myself.
34:58.320 --> 34:59.760
So this is how dogs fight.
35:05.480 --> 35:08.640
Because that one dog
brings the other dogs together.
35:09.520 --> 35:12.440
- He has written--
- "I once hit someone hard in the chest."
35:13.840 --> 35:15.760
Samay bhai, you know…
35:16.160 --> 35:18.560
You've been bullied a lot
for your fair skin.
35:18.640 --> 35:20.560
- And I've been bullied for my black skin.
- Okay.
35:20.680 --> 35:24.720
And then he started making comments
about my skin color.
35:25.920 --> 35:28.800
So I hit him in the chest
during the second or third period.
35:28.880 --> 35:31.360
By the seventh period,
I found out he had asthma.
35:32.440 --> 35:33.680
Oh, shit!
35:33.840 --> 35:36.240
Poor guy used to vape…
What was it?
35:36.320 --> 35:38.120
- Vape?
- I mean…
35:40.000 --> 35:41.080
He…
35:44.280 --> 35:45.400
Oh, my God!
35:45.520 --> 35:46.480
Oh, wow.
35:47.000 --> 35:48.440
He looks like Aashish Solanki, right?
35:49.440 --> 35:51.360
- A little bit.
- He actually does.
35:55.400 --> 35:56.440
Mr. Soybean.
36:18.000 --> 36:19.280
Samay Raina in Still Alive.
36:31.280 --> 36:32.680
Balraj without his kids.
36:44.640 --> 36:45.840
This is Archana ji all the time.