WEBVTT 00:00:05.680 --> 00:00:07.720 align:center So, are we ready to start 00:00:07.840 --> 00:00:10.560 align:center Ai+ Nova Smartphones presents 00:00:11.080 --> 00:00:12.680 align:center India's Got Latent? 00:00:12.880 --> 00:00:16.560 align:center Quick delivery partner, Flipkart Minutes. Protein partner, Avvatar Protein. 00:00:16.680 --> 00:00:18.160 align:center Fragrance partner, Wild Stone. 00:00:18.280 --> 00:00:20.720 align:center And District, make plans and go out! 00:00:22.640 --> 00:00:24.000 align:center Man, what a sellout I am! 00:00:25.240 --> 00:00:27.560 align:center So, we've got a banger panel for you. 00:00:27.760 --> 00:00:29.800 align:center Make some noise for Balraj Ghai! 00:00:32.600 --> 00:00:34.080 align:center Aashish Solanki! 00:00:36.440 --> 00:00:38.000 align:center Krushna Abhishek! 00:00:40.040 --> 00:00:42.400 align:center And Huma Qureshi! 00:00:49.360 --> 00:00:51.360 align:center - How are you? - Good. Give it up for everyone! 00:00:55.120 --> 00:00:56.600 align:center What an amazing panel today! 00:00:56.680 --> 00:00:59.960 align:center Huma Qureshi, Krushna Abhishek, Aashish Solanki, Balraj Ghai. 00:01:00.480 --> 00:01:03.280 align:center Today's panel is made up entirely of the industry's supporting cast! 00:01:06.400 --> 00:01:08.480 align:center Well, Huma ji, thank you so much for coming. 00:01:08.560 --> 00:01:11.200 align:center Huma Qureshi, fresh off her film Toxic. 00:01:11.560 --> 00:01:12.440 align:center - Yes? - Yeah. 00:01:13.400 --> 00:01:16.600 align:center Usually, people come here, and then their movies flop. 00:01:16.960 --> 00:01:19.720 align:center You're the first to come here after a flop. 00:01:21.400 --> 00:01:23.760 align:center I just did a movie called Toxic. 00:01:23.880 --> 00:01:25.160 align:center You're toxic in real life. 00:01:26.880 --> 00:01:29.080 align:center But people actually watch me! 00:01:32.320 --> 00:01:33.280 align:center I know, I know. 00:01:34.720 --> 00:01:36.920 align:center I know. I think, you know, 00:01:37.000 --> 00:01:39.720 align:center on Netflix, hate-watching is an actual metric now, so… 00:01:39.880 --> 00:01:41.800 align:center So maybe Toxic goes to Netflix now. 00:01:43.960 --> 00:01:45.320 align:center But why is it called Toxic? 00:01:45.400 --> 00:01:47.720 align:center Is it because watching it makes you want to drink poison? 00:01:53.960 --> 00:01:56.760 align:center He lures you in by saying, "Come on the show. It'll be fun." 00:01:57.480 --> 00:02:00.800 align:center I know! He invites you so sweetly, saying, "Please come!" 00:02:00.880 --> 00:02:03.880 align:center "You'll be so cool! It'll be so much fun!" And then, once you're here, 00:02:03.960 --> 00:02:05.800 align:center he just starts spewing venom! 00:02:07.560 --> 00:02:09.960 align:center No, I was really looking forward to it. 00:02:10.120 --> 00:02:10.960 align:center I know. 00:02:11.039 --> 00:02:12.280 align:center Did you all watch Toxic? 00:02:12.360 --> 00:02:13.320 align:center No! 00:02:13.400 --> 00:02:15.520 align:center No? You should watch it at least once. 00:02:15.600 --> 00:02:17.320 align:center No. 00:02:17.400 --> 00:02:19.600 align:center - The trailer had so many sex scenes. - You-- 00:02:20.000 --> 00:02:21.400 align:center Then I went to see the movie, 00:02:21.480 --> 00:02:23.680 align:center and the only ones who got fucked were the audience. 00:02:28.960 --> 00:02:31.200 align:center Love you, Huma ji. Round of applause for Huma ji, come on! 00:02:32.920 --> 00:02:34.040 align:center Samay, I love you, man. 00:02:34.160 --> 00:02:36.920 align:center We also have Kapil Sharma's Balraj! 00:02:43.040 --> 00:02:44.080 align:center Come on, don't leave me hanging! 00:02:45.360 --> 00:02:47.320 align:center He took being called Balraj as an insult. 00:02:48.560 --> 00:02:51.680 align:center Krushna bhai, how does it feel to be without a script for once? 00:02:55.320 --> 00:02:56.600 align:center Do you get it? 00:02:57.680 --> 00:02:58.640 align:center Not a single word came out. 00:03:00.080 --> 00:03:03.720 align:center We'd been planning for two years for me to come on the show. 00:03:04.120 --> 00:03:07.560 align:center But as soon as the date was finalized, he got locked up the very next day. 00:03:09.800 --> 00:03:13.120 align:center Then, as soon as he got out-- Not out of jail, but brought down a peg… 00:03:14.680 --> 00:03:17.960 align:center He started all over again. But I genuinely love this show, 00:03:18.160 --> 00:03:20.600 align:center and I love this guy. Give it up for Samay! 00:03:21.160 --> 00:03:22.640 align:center Thank you so much for having me. 00:03:22.920 --> 00:03:24.680 align:center I really love you too, sir. Thank you so much for coming. 00:03:24.760 --> 00:03:25.760 align:center - Genuinely. - Thank you. 00:03:25.880 --> 00:03:28.400 align:center - Krushna bhai-- - We've been huge fans of yours 00:03:28.480 --> 00:03:30.240 align:center since Comedy Circus and all. 00:03:30.520 --> 00:03:33.160 align:center Whenever I watched you, I'd think, "Who else is there?" 00:03:39.800 --> 00:03:41.480 align:center Seriously, you've come a long way. 00:03:41.560 --> 00:03:44.240 align:center He used to be known as Govinda's nephew, 00:03:44.680 --> 00:03:46.360 align:center but with how things are going for him now, 00:03:46.480 --> 00:03:48.280 align:center he's saying, "I'm Krishna's uncle." 00:03:52.240 --> 00:03:53.480 align:center Don't show me! 00:03:55.400 --> 00:03:57.320 align:center We just made up after all this time, 00:03:57.840 --> 00:03:58.960 align:center and we might end up fighting again. 00:03:59.520 --> 00:04:01.960 align:center Don't say anything about my uncle, Samay. 00:04:02.520 --> 00:04:03.760 align:center Because if he shows up, 00:04:04.320 --> 00:04:06.640 align:center you'll have to fall at his feet and beg for forgiveness. 00:04:06.800 --> 00:04:08.480 align:center And you know where he shoots? 00:04:10.200 --> 00:04:11.160 align:center Himself in the leg. 00:04:12.720 --> 00:04:13.720 align:center Oh, I didn't know that. 00:04:14.200 --> 00:04:15.560 align:center - You didn't know? - No, what happened? 00:04:15.640 --> 00:04:17.600 align:center - Well… - He shot himself in the leg. 00:04:18.079 --> 00:04:19.160 align:center - Yeah. - Yes. 00:04:19.240 --> 00:04:20.079 align:center - Yes. - Why? 00:04:20.200 --> 00:04:21.240 align:center He had just watched Toxic. 00:04:26.520 --> 00:04:27.760 align:center Solanki! 00:04:29.880 --> 00:04:31.800 align:center But let's hear it for Krushna Abhishek, man! 00:04:35.000 --> 00:04:38.160 align:center And my good friend Aashish Solanki is here, man. Come on! 00:04:40.720 --> 00:04:43.160 align:center If you noticed, Aashish bhai, you were here last time too, 00:04:43.240 --> 00:04:44.600 align:center and I didn't make fun of you. 00:04:44.680 --> 00:04:46.840 align:center And I'm not going to roast him this time either. 00:04:46.960 --> 00:04:49.680 align:center Not because he's a good friend or a good comedian, 00:04:49.760 --> 00:04:52.320 align:center but because his dad's a cop. 00:04:54.520 --> 00:04:56.120 align:center And the Delhi Police hit pretty hard. 00:04:57.200 --> 00:04:58.760 align:center Something happened in Delhi recently. 00:04:59.840 --> 00:05:02.320 align:center Where the police saw a lot of action. 00:05:02.640 --> 00:05:04.280 align:center - Did your dad go there? - Hey! 00:05:05.760 --> 00:05:08.400 align:center People were mad at the police for doing that. 00:05:08.480 --> 00:05:10.400 align:center I kept getting emails. 00:05:10.960 --> 00:05:12.800 align:center "Get your dad under control!" 00:05:14.160 --> 00:05:16.320 align:center - They think my dad-- - Bro, I sent it on WhatsApp! 00:05:20.680 --> 00:05:22.760 align:center He emails. He's professional like that. 00:05:23.760 --> 00:05:26.520 align:center But give it up for Balraj Ghai too, man! 00:05:29.400 --> 00:05:30.560 align:center How are you feeling, Balraj bhai? 00:05:31.560 --> 00:05:34.600 align:center I'm genuinely happy to be on this panel, and 00:05:34.680 --> 00:05:36.280 align:center thank you so much for coming out, guys. 00:05:36.360 --> 00:05:38.520 align:center Give yourselves a hand too, genuinely. 00:05:38.640 --> 00:05:40.360 align:center You make such a sweet crowd. 00:05:40.520 --> 00:05:42.320 align:center Today feels like my own show. 00:05:42.400 --> 00:05:44.600 align:center Here's a young, healthy Archana ji 00:05:45.560 --> 00:05:46.920 align:center and a sickly Sidhu paaji. 00:05:47.960 --> 00:05:51.080 align:center The only difference is, at his venue, people come and say, "Hit it!" 00:05:55.720 --> 00:05:58.560 align:center Hi, I'm Avirup, and I'm a crazy magician, 00:05:58.840 --> 00:06:01.160 align:center and I need a volunteer for this act 00:06:01.520 --> 00:06:04.280 align:center who will give me a 100-rupee note. 00:06:04.520 --> 00:06:05.880 align:center And let me tell you, 00:06:06.040 --> 00:06:08.240 align:center whoever volunteers gets a good surprise. 00:06:08.480 --> 00:06:10.840 align:center Sir, do you have a 100-rupee note? Anyone? 00:06:10.920 --> 00:06:12.560 align:center - I do. - Anyone? All right. 00:06:12.640 --> 00:06:14.440 align:center - I have one. - No, doesn't matter. All right. 00:06:14.680 --> 00:06:15.560 align:center Watch! 00:06:16.720 --> 00:06:19.360 align:center Can you see the serial number on this bill? 00:06:19.440 --> 00:06:21.520 align:center - 266443? - Yes. 00:06:21.600 --> 00:06:23.120 align:center Just remember it. Can you write it down? 00:06:23.200 --> 00:06:25.080 align:center 266443, just remember it. 00:06:25.520 --> 00:06:28.240 align:center Now, look at this bill. Watch, look at it. 00:06:28.680 --> 00:06:30.120 align:center What if I fold it like this? 00:06:30.200 --> 00:06:32.080 align:center See? It's folded in half, right? 00:06:33.120 --> 00:06:35.520 align:center Now I fold it again, and it's in quarters. 00:06:36.320 --> 00:06:38.760 align:center Now it's folded into eighths. 00:06:39.320 --> 00:06:43.520 align:center Here's a case where you can still see the color of the bill, right? 00:06:45.040 --> 00:06:46.320 align:center Do you know what bill this is? 00:06:47.360 --> 00:06:48.400 align:center - A 100. - Watch. 00:06:48.480 --> 00:06:50.560 align:center Now the magic happens. If I fold it again, 00:06:51.320 --> 00:06:53.640 align:center you'll see the color of the bill change… 00:06:55.080 --> 00:06:56.280 align:center - to orange. - Wow. 00:06:56.360 --> 00:06:58.360 align:center Wait. Yeah, you got that right. 00:06:58.440 --> 00:06:59.920 align:center If I open it up, 00:07:00.880 --> 00:07:02.160 align:center it should change 00:07:03.000 --> 00:07:05.360 align:center to a fucking 200. 00:07:07.080 --> 00:07:09.040 align:center That's double! Who gave me the bill? 00:07:09.680 --> 00:07:12.080 align:center - You won this. It's yours! - Thanks. 00:07:12.400 --> 00:07:13.840 align:center Give him a huge round of applause! 00:07:14.160 --> 00:07:16.800 align:center And I said you'd get a surprise. 00:07:17.360 --> 00:07:19.200 align:center Inside, I have a surprise for you. 00:07:21.240 --> 00:07:22.120 align:center Which is… 00:07:23.800 --> 00:07:24.720 align:center No, not this. 00:07:25.440 --> 00:07:30.120 align:center Which is something related to that color. 00:07:30.800 --> 00:07:32.160 align:center What do you think it is? 00:07:32.320 --> 00:07:34.120 align:center An orange! 00:07:34.680 --> 00:07:37.840 align:center You're absolutely right, because inside this… 00:07:38.360 --> 00:07:39.480 align:center Come on out, man! 00:07:40.280 --> 00:07:41.200 align:center What's in there? 00:07:41.960 --> 00:07:44.600 align:center You got that right. It's an orange! You're absolutely right. 00:07:44.680 --> 00:07:45.600 align:center Hey, that's mine! 00:07:48.320 --> 00:07:49.680 align:center - That's my stuff! - Yes! 00:07:50.640 --> 00:07:52.760 align:center - Now-- - Hey, I'm shooting tomorrow! Give it! 00:07:52.960 --> 00:07:55.400 align:center I'm giving it to you. I'm giving it to you. 00:07:55.480 --> 00:07:58.640 align:center It's not just one orange, but two. Two. 00:07:58.720 --> 00:07:59.640 align:center Yeah, there are two! 00:08:00.280 --> 00:08:03.240 align:center - He took mine from outside-- - Okay, watch this! 00:08:03.400 --> 00:08:05.280 align:center - Watch this. - I'm shooting with Kapil tomorrow! 00:08:06.000 --> 00:08:07.520 align:center Dude, don't cut it! 00:08:08.280 --> 00:08:10.040 align:center Cutting it makes two halves, right? 00:08:10.800 --> 00:08:12.440 align:center So, I take this. 00:08:12.720 --> 00:08:14.440 align:center And watch this, all right? Nothing in my hands. 00:08:14.520 --> 00:08:16.560 align:center If I open it like this… 00:08:17.760 --> 00:08:18.760 align:center I'm going to cut it. 00:08:19.920 --> 00:08:20.960 align:center What did you do?! 00:08:22.920 --> 00:08:24.640 align:center As you can see, there's something inside. 00:08:24.720 --> 00:08:26.320 align:center Oh, my God! 00:08:26.400 --> 00:08:27.240 align:center That's crazy. 00:08:28.480 --> 00:08:29.960 align:center Krushna ji, can you please take it out? 00:08:30.040 --> 00:08:31.320 align:center Money in my oranges?! 00:08:32.320 --> 00:08:33.880 align:center Wait, can you take it out? 00:08:34.000 --> 00:08:35.640 align:center Just take it out. 00:08:35.760 --> 00:08:38.320 align:center - Can you open it and check the serial? - What? 00:08:39.080 --> 00:08:40.080 align:center No, no, no! 00:08:40.320 --> 00:08:41.159 align:center No… 00:08:41.640 --> 00:08:42.679 align:center My God! 00:08:42.840 --> 00:08:43.760 align:center What is it? 00:08:43.840 --> 00:08:45.280 align:center - It's the same! - What is it? 00:08:45.360 --> 00:08:47.520 align:center 26-- 266443! 00:08:49.480 --> 00:08:50.360 align:center Yes! 00:08:50.440 --> 00:08:52.400 align:center Man, this is amazing! 00:08:53.400 --> 00:08:56.120 align:center - I've seen lots of magic, but wow! - Thank you. 00:08:57.120 --> 00:08:58.440 align:center Fantastic, man! Really good! 00:08:58.640 --> 00:09:01.720 align:center I've seen all kinds of magicians perform tricks, 00:09:01.840 --> 00:09:03.560 align:center but this was something unique, man. Great job! 00:09:03.640 --> 00:09:05.320 align:center - Thank you so much! - No doubt. Fantastic! 00:09:05.400 --> 00:09:06.800 align:center You got a bit too worked up over the orange. 00:09:06.880 --> 00:09:09.080 align:center - No! - You over-connected. 00:09:09.240 --> 00:09:11.160 align:center "He's our guy." That's what it is! 00:09:11.480 --> 00:09:12.320 align:center Yeah, man! 00:09:12.400 --> 00:09:13.320 align:center He actually worked to pull that money out. 00:09:13.400 --> 00:09:15.280 align:center Unlike your dad, who just gets 100 bucks! 00:09:17.560 --> 00:09:18.960 align:center Another lawsuit is coming, bastard! 00:09:21.200 --> 00:09:23.800 align:center - Avirup bhai, wow, brilliant! - Thanks, man. 00:09:24.240 --> 00:09:26.560 align:center How long have you been doing this? 00:09:26.640 --> 00:09:29.560 align:center I've been performing since 2014 and learning magic since 2009. 00:09:29.720 --> 00:09:32.240 align:center I do magic in a very crazy, unconventional way, 00:09:32.640 --> 00:09:34.720 align:center unlike anything people are used to seeing. 00:09:34.840 --> 00:09:35.800 align:center Can you hold this mic? 00:09:37.880 --> 00:09:39.840 align:center People do magic. I just do whatever. 00:09:39.920 --> 00:09:42.880 align:center I pop my fingers out, pop them back in, whatever. 00:09:42.960 --> 00:09:44.120 align:center I even do things like this. 00:09:44.560 --> 00:09:47.720 align:center Sometimes I do this, too. It's called the nipple jingle. 00:09:48.440 --> 00:09:50.520 align:center No one understands this. I can actually pull my nipple out 00:09:51.200 --> 00:09:52.120 align:center and put it back in. 00:09:55.320 --> 00:09:56.280 align:center Bro! 00:09:57.280 --> 00:09:58.120 align:center Bro! 00:10:02.040 --> 00:10:02.880 align:center Bro! 00:10:02.960 --> 00:10:05.200 align:center Hold on, what's got you so shocked about the nipple thing? 00:10:06.400 --> 00:10:07.360 align:center You do that too! 00:10:07.920 --> 00:10:10.040 align:center Oranges were fine, but now he's taking off his nipples! 00:10:10.880 --> 00:10:11.760 align:center What is this?! 00:10:12.840 --> 00:10:14.320 align:center How did you do that?! 00:10:14.440 --> 00:10:16.760 align:center Bro, listen! Make mine vanish, man. 00:10:21.200 --> 00:10:23.760 align:center Men have just one body part that's completely useless, 00:10:24.560 --> 00:10:26.160 align:center so I figured I might as well do magic with it. 00:10:26.400 --> 00:10:27.320 align:center Wow, bro! 00:10:27.400 --> 00:10:29.920 align:center If you can do this, why bother with the money trick, dude? 00:10:31.920 --> 00:10:33.960 align:center A ten-second act. Walk in, pop the nipple out, and you're done! 00:10:35.520 --> 00:10:37.680 align:center Nipple gone, nipple back, nipple gone, nipple back. Wow! 00:10:38.280 --> 00:10:40.040 align:center What kind of boomerang is this? 00:10:41.360 --> 00:10:42.400 align:center The kind where nipples fly off? 00:10:42.560 --> 00:10:44.120 align:center - Bro, he made his nipple vanish! - Mind-blowing, man. 00:10:44.200 --> 00:10:46.680 align:center Holy crap, he'd starve someone's baby, man! 00:10:48.800 --> 00:10:51.160 align:center That makes your average 9.5. 00:10:52.720 --> 00:10:54.000 align:center - Oh, man! - No! 00:10:54.320 --> 00:10:56.240 align:center - Don't do that, bro! - No, no, no! 00:10:56.320 --> 00:10:57.800 align:center - He knows his stuff. He's a mentalist. - What? 00:10:57.880 --> 00:10:59.480 align:center I wish I was a good mentalist. 00:10:59.560 --> 00:11:00.680 align:center - Eight?! - What?! 00:11:00.800 --> 00:11:02.480 align:center - What are you saying?! - Only eight? 00:11:02.960 --> 00:11:04.560 align:center You brought such good stuff! 00:11:04.640 --> 00:11:06.040 align:center An eight? Unbelievable! 00:11:06.600 --> 00:11:07.920 align:center - Oh, man! - It's all good, bro. Thank you so much. 00:11:08.000 --> 00:11:10.320 align:center I'll edit it so it looks like an eight, don't worry. 00:11:11.640 --> 00:11:12.760 align:center - Thank you. - Thank you so much. 00:11:12.840 --> 00:11:14.680 align:center Round of applause for the crazy magician, guys! 00:12:03.360 --> 00:12:04.440 align:center Oh, bro! 00:12:05.320 --> 00:12:06.800 align:center Maan Bihari Pandey! 00:12:09.760 --> 00:12:11.200 align:center Are you a professional dancer? 00:12:13.080 --> 00:12:14.720 align:center Which brothel do you dance at? 00:12:18.760 --> 00:12:20.960 align:center What kind of brothel has dancing like that? 00:12:22.160 --> 00:12:24.200 align:center And which dance's honor have you actually upheld? 00:12:26.600 --> 00:12:28.320 align:center Nice one, paaji! 00:12:28.920 --> 00:12:30.800 align:center His first punchline in two seasons! 00:12:33.000 --> 00:12:33.880 align:center Big day. 00:12:34.680 --> 00:12:37.200 align:center You wrote, "I'm shamelessly a mama's boy." 00:12:37.840 --> 00:12:38.680 align:center Yes. 00:12:39.840 --> 00:12:41.560 align:center I am. Mom-- 00:12:41.640 --> 00:12:43.880 align:center Do you know what it means, or did someone make you write it? 00:12:45.000 --> 00:12:46.800 align:center My sister wrote it, but I know. 00:12:47.520 --> 00:12:50.880 align:center I know. A mama's boy is his mom's favorite. 00:12:51.320 --> 00:12:52.600 align:center And you don't love your dad? 00:12:52.760 --> 00:12:54.080 align:center Well, he'd have to be home for that! 00:12:55.600 --> 00:12:57.000 align:center Go on, say it. 00:12:57.720 --> 00:12:59.440 align:center Say it. Come on. 00:13:00.480 --> 00:13:01.400 align:center Go on. 00:13:02.360 --> 00:13:03.240 align:center Say it. 00:13:03.560 --> 00:13:04.480 align:center Dad, you? 00:13:07.720 --> 00:13:09.440 align:center Seriously, my own kids-- 00:13:09.520 --> 00:13:11.840 align:center I was doing two to three shows on network TV. 00:13:12.080 --> 00:13:12.920 align:center I was so busy that, 00:13:13.000 --> 00:13:16.160 align:center during COVID, my kids finally realized I was actually their dad. 00:13:17.520 --> 00:13:19.240 align:center - Because I was home. - Did they think you were their mom before? 00:13:24.280 --> 00:13:26.600 align:center Mommy, please give me orange juice. 00:13:31.600 --> 00:13:33.240 align:center And this guy's a clean comic. 00:13:34.640 --> 00:13:36.320 align:center Read the "switch lives" one. 00:13:36.520 --> 00:13:37.640 align:center Read it. Can't you read English? 00:13:37.720 --> 00:13:39.880 align:center This word-- I can't read this word. 00:13:39.960 --> 00:13:41.040 align:center Something weird. 00:13:41.400 --> 00:13:43.840 align:center "If you could switch lives with someone, you'd want to… 00:13:44.440 --> 00:13:47.440 align:center switch it with Malthus, the madman who had…" 00:13:48.920 --> 00:13:51.200 align:center - "Who had two…" - I think only you can read this. 00:13:51.880 --> 00:13:52.840 align:center "Malthus, 00:13:53.960 --> 00:13:56.600 align:center - the madam of our colony--" - Madman. Madman. 00:13:58.080 --> 00:13:59.400 align:center - Look at him. - Sorry. 00:14:00.920 --> 00:14:03.520 align:center I'm sorry, guys. It's just a biological word. 00:14:03.600 --> 00:14:05.360 align:center - What's wrong with you men? - That's exactly what I was wondering. 00:14:05.440 --> 00:14:07.680 align:center - How can a madam have one? - So, you write here-- 00:14:07.760 --> 00:14:09.280 align:center - The man-- - Basically, I'll tell you… 00:14:09.360 --> 00:14:12.040 align:center - These guys are just-- - "The madman of our colony who has…" 00:14:15.000 --> 00:14:16.000 align:center Huma ji, please. 00:14:16.080 --> 00:14:17.360 align:center - You say it. She'll read it. - Huma ji. 00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:20.280 align:center Okay, guys. All these men are just being shy. 00:14:20.920 --> 00:14:25.040 align:center He wants to switch lives with his neighborhood madman, 00:14:25.680 --> 00:14:27.400 align:center a man who has two penises. 00:14:28.280 --> 00:14:29.520 align:center - Yeah, that's so… - Yeah. 00:14:29.600 --> 00:14:31.720 align:center - Bilingual. - It's the way you say it. 00:14:37.080 --> 00:14:38.600 align:center Bro! Two punchlines! 00:14:40.440 --> 00:14:41.360 align:center Brilliant! 00:14:41.840 --> 00:14:43.520 align:center So tell us about your… 00:14:44.000 --> 00:14:45.120 align:center Duolingo. 00:14:47.680 --> 00:14:48.800 align:center For stamina… 00:14:49.280 --> 00:14:50.920 align:center Why do you need two for stamina? 00:14:51.120 --> 00:14:52.960 align:center When one's done, the next… 00:14:54.120 --> 00:14:55.760 align:center When one's done, you use the next. 00:14:55.840 --> 00:14:56.680 align:center Stop it! 00:14:56.760 --> 00:14:58.600 align:center Baby Do Die Do. 00:15:03.720 --> 00:15:04.600 align:center Nice one. 00:15:05.480 --> 00:15:08.480 align:center Hey, woman with one penis, why don't you tell him something? 00:15:14.240 --> 00:15:15.920 align:center Why aren't you talking to him? 00:15:19.240 --> 00:15:21.720 align:center You're a great dancer. What did you think of his dance? 00:15:22.960 --> 00:15:24.920 align:center - Oh, yeah, of course! - Zero. 00:15:26.680 --> 00:15:30.240 align:center No one has made me laugh as much as you have as Sapna on Kapil's show. 00:15:30.320 --> 00:15:31.160 align:center How sweet! 00:15:31.640 --> 00:15:32.560 align:center How sweet! 00:15:32.640 --> 00:15:34.320 align:center Then I'll give you a massage today. 00:15:41.080 --> 00:15:43.280 align:center We have different kinds of massages. 00:15:44.520 --> 00:15:46.320 align:center I'll give you the Afghan Jalebi massage. 00:15:46.720 --> 00:15:49.120 align:center - Okay. Alright. - First, we rub you with oil, 00:15:49.680 --> 00:15:51.040 align:center then two Afghan guys come in. 00:15:57.920 --> 00:15:59.320 align:center And your dream will come true. 00:16:02.240 --> 00:16:04.120 align:center That makes your average seven. 00:16:06.040 --> 00:16:07.080 align:center It'll be seven, you'll see. 00:16:11.480 --> 00:16:12.960 align:center That was… great. 00:16:15.000 --> 00:16:16.520 align:center We really should've given him a five. 00:16:16.680 --> 00:16:18.200 align:center But thank you so much for joining us, man. 00:16:18.280 --> 00:16:19.400 align:center - Thank you. - Wow. 00:16:19.800 --> 00:16:21.640 align:center That's enough. I'll just be talking. 00:16:23.080 --> 00:16:26.120 align:center You probably already guessed that I went to a government school. 00:16:27.400 --> 00:16:29.440 align:center Yeah, where I'm from, they teach us… 00:16:29.520 --> 00:16:31.200 align:center that Newton sold apples. 00:16:37.080 --> 00:16:38.000 align:center For real. 00:16:38.680 --> 00:16:40.480 align:center His dad's name was Oldton. 00:16:43.200 --> 00:16:44.320 align:center Oldton… 00:16:46.960 --> 00:16:50.800 align:center Okay, now, let me tell you about my girlfriend. Right? 00:16:51.040 --> 00:16:52.000 align:center Meaning, I don't have one. 00:16:54.480 --> 00:16:55.680 align:center That's all I wanted to say. 00:17:03.080 --> 00:17:04.520 align:center Well, I used to have one. 00:17:04.839 --> 00:17:05.960 align:center She was blindly in love with me. 00:17:06.640 --> 00:17:08.520 align:center You guys are looking at me right now. 00:17:08.880 --> 00:17:11.160 align:center Do I look like a "baby" from any angle? 00:17:13.400 --> 00:17:14.520 align:center She'd still call me "baby." 00:17:15.440 --> 00:17:17.680 align:center I didn't even look like a baby when I was a baby. 00:17:23.640 --> 00:17:26.400 align:center One day, she suddenly said, "Let's do BDSM." 00:17:27.040 --> 00:17:29.400 align:center Right? I said, "I was planning to do MBBS…" 00:17:36.960 --> 00:17:38.280 align:center - Really. - Nice! 00:17:38.880 --> 00:17:40.280 align:center - Good one! - Too good. 00:17:40.360 --> 00:17:42.560 align:center Then she told me it wasn't a degree. 00:17:42.720 --> 00:17:43.560 align:center Yeah. 00:17:43.640 --> 00:17:45.320 align:center "You get to hit me in this." 00:17:46.200 --> 00:17:47.720 align:center I'd been mad at her for a long time. 00:17:56.160 --> 00:17:57.760 align:center I just never got the chance. 00:17:59.000 --> 00:18:01.400 align:center I got my chance that day, and threw ten punches in a minute. 00:18:03.760 --> 00:18:04.800 align:center She passed out. 00:18:07.360 --> 00:18:09.320 align:center She woke up and said, "Just stick to MBBS." 00:18:18.080 --> 00:18:19.400 align:center - Wow! - Too good! 00:18:19.480 --> 00:18:20.640 align:center Brilliant! 00:18:22.120 --> 00:18:23.080 align:center Too good! 00:18:24.680 --> 00:18:26.640 align:center - How long have you done this? - Me? Six years. 00:18:26.800 --> 00:18:27.840 align:center - Awesome, man! - Oh, wow! 00:18:28.000 --> 00:18:29.000 align:center - Too good! - Too good! 00:18:29.120 --> 00:18:31.160 align:center Samay's excited that he found the next judge. 00:18:32.360 --> 00:18:34.360 align:center No, really, you can just go home, man. 00:18:37.440 --> 00:18:38.680 align:center - No, haven't been paid yet. - Brilliant! 00:18:39.320 --> 00:18:41.320 align:center His style is like he's also got an itch. 00:18:44.960 --> 00:18:46.880 align:center He has that swaying thing going on. 00:18:46.960 --> 00:18:48.840 align:center No, I'm just a little nervous. 00:18:48.920 --> 00:18:49.760 align:center I see. 00:18:49.840 --> 00:18:51.480 align:center This is the first time I'm seeing him as a man. 00:18:56.440 --> 00:18:57.520 align:center Sorry, sorry, sorry. 00:18:57.600 --> 00:18:59.040 align:center No, no, that was great, man! 00:19:00.320 --> 00:19:03.720 align:center And this relationship status you wrote… 00:19:04.400 --> 00:19:05.440 align:center It says, "Salman Khan." 00:19:06.400 --> 00:19:07.720 align:center - He has written "Salman Khan." - Look. 00:19:07.800 --> 00:19:09.760 align:center Better not. You'll get screwed. 00:19:18.480 --> 00:19:19.960 align:center Oh, my God! 00:19:20.320 --> 00:19:21.680 align:center - What a guy! - Great job, man! 00:19:21.760 --> 00:19:23.840 align:center - You're amazing, dude! - What a guy! 00:19:23.920 --> 00:19:26.280 align:center You deliver jokes so cutely, man. 00:19:26.360 --> 00:19:27.480 align:center Genuinely, you're too good. 00:19:27.560 --> 00:19:30.320 align:center You said the same thing in the green room four years ago. 00:19:31.040 --> 00:19:33.400 align:center When I text you for a spot, you never give me one. 00:19:33.480 --> 00:19:35.640 align:center When did you last text me? Show me. 00:19:36.280 --> 00:19:38.640 align:center - I don't have my phone on me. - No, I have mine. 00:19:39.160 --> 00:19:40.880 align:center You actually went and blocked me. 00:19:40.960 --> 00:19:42.840 align:center Where'd I block you? Wait a minute. 00:19:42.920 --> 00:19:45.200 align:center - Let me see. Wait a minute… - Oh, the gentleman! 00:19:46.680 --> 00:19:48.760 align:center - Wait. - Bro, he doesn't reply to any "baby." 00:19:53.160 --> 00:19:54.240 align:center Look at this, bro. 00:19:56.320 --> 00:19:57.520 align:center Give it here. I'll read it. 00:19:57.840 --> 00:19:59.440 align:center The last spot was last night. 00:19:59.600 --> 00:20:01.440 align:center - Oh! I was here yesterday. - Him? 00:20:01.520 --> 00:20:02.960 align:center Well, thank you. 00:20:03.040 --> 00:20:04.360 align:center You wrote here that 00:20:04.440 --> 00:20:08.760 align:center starting at 13, you worked as a waiter for nine years. 00:20:08.840 --> 00:20:10.320 align:center - Yeah. - That's incredible, man! 00:20:10.400 --> 00:20:11.560 align:center Well, what happened was, 00:20:11.640 --> 00:20:14.560 align:center I crashed a stranger's wedding with my friends, 00:20:15.040 --> 00:20:18.080 align:center and my friends ran off, leaving me to wash dishes. 00:20:18.640 --> 00:20:19.840 align:center Then I started getting work. 00:20:29.040 --> 00:20:30.040 align:center - You're very hardworking. - He's funny. 00:20:30.120 --> 00:20:31.080 align:center He is. 00:20:31.160 --> 00:20:32.840 align:center He's really funny. 00:20:33.480 --> 00:20:35.360 align:center Give him a spot or something on your show, man. 00:20:35.440 --> 00:20:36.440 align:center Hundred percent, man. 00:20:36.520 --> 00:20:38.880 align:center I think he'll do better on his own. 00:20:39.400 --> 00:20:40.880 align:center - Yeah… - No, I meant him giving you a spot. 00:20:46.640 --> 00:20:47.760 align:center Give him a spot. 00:20:48.360 --> 00:20:50.160 align:center I'll get you for this. 00:20:51.000 --> 00:20:53.120 align:center It says here that a Hinge date beat you up. 00:20:53.320 --> 00:20:55.760 align:center After a breakup, I went on Hinge and stuff. 00:20:56.240 --> 00:20:58.480 align:center I matched and went, completely clueless, 00:20:58.560 --> 00:21:00.240 align:center and it turned out to be three guys. 00:21:02.000 --> 00:21:03.760 align:center They took all my money. 00:21:04.800 --> 00:21:06.400 align:center When they found a condom, they beat me up. 00:21:08.160 --> 00:21:10.040 align:center "Who brings this on a first date?!" 00:21:11.480 --> 00:21:15.960 align:center As a girl, what do you think he should work on to impress women? 00:21:16.040 --> 00:21:16.960 align:center Krushna bhai? 00:21:27.240 --> 00:21:29.280 align:center - What can he do? - Go ahead, tell him, Huma ji. 00:21:29.360 --> 00:21:30.840 align:center No, you've been a girl longer than her. 00:21:34.720 --> 00:21:36.120 align:center I think you're super cute. 00:21:36.200 --> 00:21:38.760 align:center As Krushna said, you have a sweet smile. 00:21:38.840 --> 00:21:41.480 align:center Please just stay the way you are. 00:21:41.560 --> 00:21:42.400 align:center Totally. 00:21:42.480 --> 00:21:46.200 align:center And keep cracking jokes on dates. 00:21:46.280 --> 00:21:47.800 align:center Girls like funny people. 00:21:48.560 --> 00:21:50.960 align:center So, you're saying if someone goes on a date with you 00:21:51.320 --> 00:21:54.240 align:center and says, "I always thought Newton's dad was Oldton…" 00:21:56.600 --> 00:21:58.200 align:center - She'll go, "Oh, my lover!" - That's-- 00:21:58.720 --> 00:22:00.120 align:center "Now that's a real man!" 00:22:00.560 --> 00:22:03.160 align:center You think? Why are you lying? 00:22:03.240 --> 00:22:05.800 align:center He's right here. Do you have to say it to his face? 00:22:06.120 --> 00:22:07.600 align:center Do you have to break his heart? 00:22:07.680 --> 00:22:09.040 align:center Why not give genuine advice? 00:22:09.120 --> 00:22:10.960 align:center How did you meet your-- Do you have a boyfriend? 00:22:12.120 --> 00:22:13.040 align:center Do I what? 00:22:14.720 --> 00:22:16.760 align:center No personal questions, Samay. We discussed this. 00:22:16.840 --> 00:22:19.080 align:center - I won't ask you, and you won't ask me. - Okay, done. 00:22:20.720 --> 00:22:22.160 align:center - Promise? Deal. - Promise. 00:22:22.560 --> 00:22:24.920 align:center So, tell us about your acting coach… 00:22:26.560 --> 00:22:27.760 align:center No, never mind, nothing. 00:22:27.840 --> 00:22:28.960 align:center - No, sorry, sorry! - What did you-- 00:22:29.040 --> 00:22:31.000 align:center - You were saying? - Sorry, sorry. 00:22:31.520 --> 00:22:34.280 align:center You wrote here that if you could travel back in time, 00:22:34.360 --> 00:22:36.880 align:center you'd go back four days. Why? 00:22:36.960 --> 00:22:38.760 align:center I watched Toxic four days ago. 00:22:44.800 --> 00:22:46.360 align:center That makes your average… 00:22:49.040 --> 00:22:49.920 align:center ten out of ten. 00:22:52.760 --> 00:22:53.800 align:center - Einstein! - Show. 00:22:54.600 --> 00:22:55.880 align:center Look, I want you to-- 00:22:55.960 --> 00:22:58.080 align:center - Oh, man! - Oh, man! 00:22:59.200 --> 00:23:02.400 align:center Unbelievable, man! You prepped so well. 00:23:02.480 --> 00:23:03.720 align:center - Why? - Why 8.5? 00:23:03.800 --> 00:23:05.760 align:center I didn't expect it to go this well. 00:23:06.600 --> 00:23:08.920 align:center - Thank you so much for coming. - Sunil, you're too good, man! 00:23:09.000 --> 00:23:10.600 align:center - I have an offer. - Oh, no, bro… 00:23:10.680 --> 00:23:13.680 align:center Your first four solo shows are on the house, bro. 00:23:13.760 --> 00:23:16.320 align:center No rent. Nothing. I'll organize everything here, at Habitat. 00:23:16.400 --> 00:23:18.200 align:center - Wow, man! - That's great, Balraj! 00:23:19.480 --> 00:23:21.240 align:center - Salma Deewani… - Take some, eat up! 00:23:21.680 --> 00:23:24.840 align:center Go on, take some. Why so shy? You have some too. 00:23:25.520 --> 00:23:27.600 align:center - Eat, eat. Have some. - Eat, eat. 00:23:27.680 --> 00:23:28.760 align:center Come on, eat. 00:23:29.680 --> 00:23:31.960 align:center They sit over there and eat, so you sit here and eat. 00:23:32.360 --> 00:23:34.760 align:center - Come on, eat up. - Thank you. 00:23:34.960 --> 00:23:37.480 align:center Here, take this box and pass it around back there. 00:23:39.520 --> 00:23:42.840 align:center You've been standing so long. You guys should have some too. 00:23:42.920 --> 00:23:44.040 align:center These are Osmania biscuits. 00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:47.360 align:center I don't get who you're protecting from whom. 00:23:51.000 --> 00:23:53.400 align:center - You guys eat some. - Sorry, I don't take sugar. Thank you. 00:23:53.480 --> 00:23:54.920 align:center - Eat. - Give me my two. 00:23:56.520 --> 00:23:57.560 align:center Thank you. 00:23:57.640 --> 00:23:59.600 align:center - You have one too. Here. - Hello. Thank you. 00:23:59.920 --> 00:24:01.960 align:center - Thank you. - Look at how much you guys are eating! 00:24:04.160 --> 00:24:05.040 align:center Thank you. 00:24:11.800 --> 00:24:13.000 align:center As-salamu alaykum. 00:24:13.080 --> 00:24:14.760 align:center - Wa alaykum as-salam. - Wa alaykum as-salam. 00:24:14.840 --> 00:24:16.920 align:center Wow, nobody looks scared. Nice to hear. 00:24:17.720 --> 00:24:18.800 align:center That's good. 00:24:23.920 --> 00:24:25.920 align:center - How's everyone doing? All well? - All well! 00:24:26.000 --> 00:24:27.160 align:center My name is Salma. 00:24:28.440 --> 00:24:30.080 align:center I have a husband, two kids, 00:24:30.160 --> 00:24:31.960 align:center a shameless mother-in-law, an idiot father-in-law, 00:24:32.040 --> 00:24:34.440 align:center two lazy sisters-in-law, and two useless brothers-in-law. 00:24:35.960 --> 00:24:38.560 align:center That's just the in-laws. My family's like that too. 00:24:42.520 --> 00:24:44.400 align:center I'm blunt, so don't take offense. 00:24:44.480 --> 00:24:46.080 align:center I studied only up to the tenth grade. 00:24:46.200 --> 00:24:47.720 align:center It's not that I didn't want to study. 00:24:47.840 --> 00:24:50.400 align:center There were just too many kids and too little money. 00:24:51.320 --> 00:24:53.960 align:center Dad asked, "Why educate a girl child?" 00:24:54.040 --> 00:24:56.360 align:center So, he kept me at home while my brothers went to school. 00:24:56.440 --> 00:24:59.040 align:center He even paid for them to repeat grades, but only they got that chance. 00:25:00.200 --> 00:25:01.280 align:center He didn't let me study. 00:25:03.080 --> 00:25:05.880 align:center Yeah, if you'd entered my life earlier, 00:25:05.960 --> 00:25:07.520 align:center always saying, "Educate girls," 00:25:07.680 --> 00:25:09.240 align:center maybe I'd have studied too. 00:25:10.080 --> 00:25:12.040 align:center - When did I say that? - You said it plenty of times. 00:25:12.120 --> 00:25:14.680 align:center - Don't talk nonsense. - Hey, what did you say? 00:25:19.360 --> 00:25:20.320 align:center Let it go. 00:25:20.520 --> 00:25:23.240 align:center So many useless men at home, you know how many? 00:25:23.440 --> 00:25:25.520 align:center I want to curse them out, but I can't! 00:25:25.800 --> 00:25:28.440 align:center It's hard. I don't curse here, I don't curse anywhere, 00:25:28.560 --> 00:25:30.760 align:center and it's bad anyway. So I never do. 00:25:31.000 --> 00:25:33.680 align:center If a girl curses, her reputation is ruined. 00:25:34.000 --> 00:25:37.320 align:center Even if you whisper sorry, Dad slaps you, everyone slaps you. 00:25:37.480 --> 00:25:39.200 align:center Right? But with men, 00:25:39.280 --> 00:25:42.080 align:center if you curse, nothing happens. You get awards and stuff instead. 00:25:54.800 --> 00:25:58.520 align:center Salma Deewani, the way you looked at Samay while eating that biscuit, 00:25:58.600 --> 00:26:00.920 align:center I felt like there were vibes between you two, vibes. 00:26:01.000 --> 00:26:05.120 align:center No, no, it's not like that. Him speaking Hyderabadi made my heart so happy. 00:26:06.280 --> 00:26:07.680 align:center How come you speak that way? 00:26:07.840 --> 00:26:09.360 align:center - I lived in Hyderabad. - Where? 00:26:09.440 --> 00:26:10.600 align:center Vanasthalipuram. 00:26:10.760 --> 00:26:12.320 align:center That far? That's not Hyderabad. 00:26:17.640 --> 00:26:19.760 align:center That's something that comes after Hyderabad. 00:26:21.560 --> 00:26:23.320 align:center I get it. Total vibes, right? 00:26:23.440 --> 00:26:24.680 align:center Total vibes between them. 00:26:24.760 --> 00:26:25.760 align:center Well, sister! 00:26:26.120 --> 00:26:28.720 align:center - Come on, don't! - Don't kill the chemistry. 00:26:28.800 --> 00:26:31.320 align:center No, I'm already married. Better if he's my brother. 00:26:31.400 --> 00:26:32.600 align:center You're married, right? 00:26:32.760 --> 00:26:35.960 align:center My brothers are useless anyway. One more hardly matters. 00:26:41.120 --> 00:26:42.240 align:center Brilliant! 00:26:45.280 --> 00:26:46.160 align:center You're incredible. 00:26:46.240 --> 00:26:47.200 align:center - So, Salma Deewani, - Too good. 00:26:47.280 --> 00:26:49.440 align:center - did anyone come with you? - No. 00:26:49.520 --> 00:26:50.520 align:center - Came alone? - Yeah. 00:26:51.080 --> 00:26:52.560 align:center - No or yes? What's with you? - I mean… 00:26:52.640 --> 00:26:54.320 align:center No one came with me. I came alone. 00:26:54.840 --> 00:26:57.600 align:center But a cousin of mine from here came. 00:26:57.720 --> 00:26:58.760 align:center - I see. - Yeah. 00:26:58.840 --> 00:27:00.560 align:center - Which cousin? - Her husband. 00:27:10.720 --> 00:27:13.120 align:center Dude, this kind of stuff 00:27:13.320 --> 00:27:15.840 align:center gets the whole panel's photo in the news! 00:27:15.920 --> 00:27:16.880 align:center True! 00:27:17.800 --> 00:27:19.240 align:center So, Salma Deewani ji, 00:27:19.360 --> 00:27:21.000 align:center - let's talk about something nice. - Yes. 00:27:21.240 --> 00:27:24.320 align:center You wrote here that you composed a short song. 00:27:24.800 --> 00:27:25.680 align:center Yes. 00:27:26.240 --> 00:27:27.680 align:center - If you-- - Yeah, that's what we're asking. How? 00:27:30.200 --> 00:27:32.000 align:center - Should I sing it? - Yes, go on. 00:27:32.360 --> 00:27:33.360 align:center It's very short. 00:27:33.840 --> 00:27:35.040 align:center - Let's hear it. - Go on. 00:27:36.400 --> 00:27:38.720 align:center - First I'll read what I wrote. - Okay. 00:27:39.800 --> 00:27:41.080 align:center It'll help you too. 00:27:41.160 --> 00:27:42.160 align:center - For me? - Yes. 00:27:42.560 --> 00:27:45.080 align:center - "Having so much fun." - "Having so much fun." 00:27:45.160 --> 00:27:46.040 align:center Wow! 00:27:46.800 --> 00:27:47.760 align:center I'll sing it for you. 00:27:48.200 --> 00:27:49.120 align:center Oh, that was it? 00:27:51.080 --> 00:27:53.560 align:center - A little haiku. - That's it. 00:27:54.200 --> 00:27:57.440 align:center Having so much fun 00:27:58.320 --> 00:28:01.400 align:center Having so much fun 00:28:02.120 --> 00:28:05.280 align:center Having so much fun 00:28:06.000 --> 00:28:09.320 align:center Having so much fun 00:28:09.920 --> 00:28:13.320 align:center Having so much fun 00:28:13.800 --> 00:28:17.200 align:center Having so much fun 00:28:18.280 --> 00:28:21.040 align:center Guys, stop! I may be crazy, what's wrong with you all? 00:28:23.880 --> 00:28:24.800 align:center Dude! 00:28:25.120 --> 00:28:26.320 align:center She's too good, man. Too good. 00:28:26.400 --> 00:28:28.360 align:center - I love you! - Fantastic! 00:28:28.440 --> 00:28:30.000 align:center - You're too good! - You're so much fun! 00:28:30.560 --> 00:28:35.320 align:center I once killed 67 mosquitoes and held a mourning for them. 00:28:35.440 --> 00:28:37.000 align:center Yeah, like this… 00:28:37.320 --> 00:28:39.320 align:center Had so much fun 00:28:40.600 --> 00:28:41.760 align:center You said it so well. 00:28:43.640 --> 00:28:45.560 align:center It says if you could swap lives, 00:28:45.640 --> 00:28:46.840 align:center you'd pick Anil Kapoor. 00:28:47.000 --> 00:28:49.920 align:center Yeah. He looks great without waxing, too. 00:28:54.520 --> 00:28:55.560 align:center Salma Deewani. 00:28:56.000 --> 00:28:57.200 align:center Is there any doubt? 00:28:57.320 --> 00:28:58.320 align:center - Ten out of ten! Come on! - I agree. 00:28:58.440 --> 00:28:59.640 align:center - Ten out of ten! - Ten out of ten! 00:28:59.720 --> 00:29:00.760 align:center - Ten out of ten. - Hundred percent. 00:29:00.840 --> 00:29:01.680 align:center Ten out of ten! 00:29:01.760 --> 00:29:03.360 align:center Hold my biscuit. 00:29:05.160 --> 00:29:07.240 align:center Keep it ready. 00:29:07.400 --> 00:29:09.440 align:center - Please, come on, please. - Come on. 00:29:09.560 --> 00:29:10.560 align:center Didn't give a ten? 00:29:10.640 --> 00:29:13.120 align:center Salma! Salma! Salma! 00:29:13.200 --> 00:29:14.720 align:center - Did you give the points? - Ten. 00:29:14.800 --> 00:29:15.760 align:center - Yes, all of us. - Ten! 00:29:15.840 --> 00:29:17.880 align:center - It's a ten. - A ten from all of us. 00:29:18.000 --> 00:29:19.600 align:center I hope you wrote a ten. 00:29:33.840 --> 00:29:35.680 align:center You win 100,000 rupees! 00:29:39.400 --> 00:29:41.080 align:center What will you do with the money? 00:29:41.800 --> 00:29:43.000 align:center I'll give some to Nepal. 00:29:43.240 --> 00:29:46.280 align:center - It's my first big earnings. - Oh, that's so sweet! 00:29:46.480 --> 00:29:47.720 align:center It's best given to zakat. 00:29:47.880 --> 00:29:49.480 align:center - Look at that! That's so sweet of her. - A big round of applause! 00:29:49.640 --> 00:29:51.200 align:center - Wow. - That's wonderful! 00:29:52.080 --> 00:29:55.600 align:center And you get the new Ai+ Nova 2 phone! 00:29:55.680 --> 00:29:56.600 align:center There you go. 00:29:58.080 --> 00:29:59.360 align:center Folks, you have to applaud for this! 00:30:02.160 --> 00:30:06.320 align:center This phone has the best chipset and a 6,000 mAh battery. 00:30:08.240 --> 00:30:09.720 align:center - It's M-A-H. - It's mAh, bro. 00:30:11.480 --> 00:30:12.960 align:center Dust and water-resistant. 00:30:13.160 --> 00:30:14.200 align:center Congratulations! 00:30:14.400 --> 00:30:16.160 align:center Take another one for your husband too. 00:30:16.880 --> 00:30:17.920 align:center Really?! 00:30:20.560 --> 00:30:21.600 align:center Congratulations! 00:30:21.680 --> 00:30:23.400 align:center Are you really that rich? 00:30:23.600 --> 00:30:25.240 align:center No, this one is super cheap. 00:30:25.560 --> 00:30:29.360 align:center If you're rich, give him some money. His hotel rooms are awful. 00:30:40.080 --> 00:30:41.480 align:center - Just now… - Please remind me 00:30:41.560 --> 00:30:43.960 align:center to give a shout-out to Flipkart. 00:30:44.080 --> 00:30:45.840 align:center - Okay, I will. - She's reminded me eight times already! 00:30:46.200 --> 00:30:47.200 align:center We'll help. 00:30:47.600 --> 00:30:49.400 align:center - Go on. - I'm screwed 00:30:49.760 --> 00:30:51.040 align:center I'm screwed 00:30:51.240 --> 00:30:53.720 align:center I'm screwed, my friends 00:30:54.000 --> 00:30:56.720 align:center Look how cruel the friend-zone is 00:30:57.000 --> 00:30:59.440 align:center I'm screwed, my friends 00:30:59.640 --> 00:31:02.320 align:center Look how cruel the friend-zone is 00:31:02.520 --> 00:31:05.480 align:center She calls me sweet My feelings grow 00:31:05.600 --> 00:31:08.360 align:center She calls me cute My feelings grow 00:31:08.960 --> 00:31:11.720 align:center But she loves someone else 00:31:12.840 --> 00:31:15.240 align:center I'm screwed, my friends 00:31:16.000 --> 00:31:16.960 align:center Damn, bro. 00:31:17.080 --> 00:31:18.840 align:center There's no act after this. 00:31:20.400 --> 00:31:21.960 align:center - What do we do? - All I can think about is 00:31:22.040 --> 00:31:23.520 align:center how you're going to work Flipkart into this. 00:31:31.160 --> 00:31:34.080 align:center - He wants Shah Rukh Khan's Mannat. - Yes. 00:31:34.440 --> 00:31:37.480 align:center You can't get that, but anything else you want… 00:31:41.000 --> 00:31:43.800 align:center - can be ordered from Flipkart. - Correct. 00:31:43.920 --> 00:31:46.240 align:center If you place four orders this month, 00:31:46.320 --> 00:31:49.800 align:center you'll get one month of Netflix free. 00:31:49.880 --> 00:31:51.800 align:center - There you go. - Wow! 00:31:54.240 --> 00:31:55.800 align:center "Do not say 'free.'" 00:31:55.880 --> 00:31:57.960 align:center "Say 'at no extra cost.'" 00:31:58.080 --> 00:31:58.920 align:center Oh, shit! 00:31:59.680 --> 00:32:01.000 align:center I've already said it. 00:32:01.680 --> 00:32:04.720 align:center - Did I say it wrong? - We can edit it. Say it again. 00:32:06.200 --> 00:32:07.080 align:center So, bro… 00:32:10.080 --> 00:32:11.200 align:center Yeah, continue. 00:32:11.600 --> 00:32:12.480 align:center Yeah. 00:32:12.560 --> 00:32:14.200 align:center - Let's imagine that he's a crazy magician. - Imagine-- 00:32:14.280 --> 00:32:15.200 align:center Yes, correct. 00:32:15.400 --> 00:32:17.400 align:center - Bring back the magician. - Yes! 00:32:17.640 --> 00:32:19.600 align:center - We'll include it in his act. - Yes! 00:32:21.200 --> 00:32:22.400 align:center Was this what you were wearing? 00:32:22.560 --> 00:32:23.520 align:center No, he had another look. 00:32:23.600 --> 00:32:25.320 align:center - Did you change? - Did you change your outfit? 00:32:25.400 --> 00:32:26.320 align:center Just removed my jacket. 00:32:26.400 --> 00:32:28.720 align:center Can you show us a trick where your jacket disappears? 00:32:34.120 --> 00:32:35.000 align:center Bro! 00:32:36.480 --> 00:32:37.360 align:center What a star! 00:32:37.440 --> 00:32:38.400 align:center What the fuck! 00:32:38.480 --> 00:32:40.840 align:center If you want a new jacket, 00:32:41.360 --> 00:32:43.720 align:center you can order it on Flipkart. 00:32:48.080 --> 00:32:49.640 align:center - It is out of tune. - The guitar is out of tune. 00:32:49.720 --> 00:32:50.560 align:center Yes. 00:32:51.680 --> 00:32:53.440 align:center Did you take this show so lightly? 00:32:53.680 --> 00:32:54.680 align:center No… 00:32:54.840 --> 00:32:57.240 align:center No, bro. I made sure the guitar was tuned. I don't know… 00:32:59.040 --> 00:33:00.320 align:center Hello? 00:33:00.880 --> 00:33:03.800 align:center - Oh, shit! - Oh my! He's so cute, guys! 00:33:03.880 --> 00:33:05.120 align:center He's so cute. 00:33:05.320 --> 00:33:07.320 align:center Hello, I'm under the water. 00:33:09.320 --> 00:33:10.760 align:center Rescue-- Save me. 00:33:12.640 --> 00:33:15.160 align:center - No, no. I think he's very cute, guys. - It's… 00:33:15.240 --> 00:33:16.320 align:center Give him a chance. 00:33:16.400 --> 00:33:17.440 align:center Don't be mean. 00:33:17.520 --> 00:33:18.400 align:center Don't be mean. 00:33:19.520 --> 00:33:20.560 align:center Let's go. 00:33:22.040 --> 00:33:22.920 align:center Come on. 00:33:34.800 --> 00:33:38.120 align:center So if you already knew this is how you play the guitar 00:33:38.200 --> 00:33:40.000 align:center - and this is how you sing, - Yeah. 00:33:40.120 --> 00:33:43.600 align:center why did you waste our time with all that tuning and everything? 00:33:43.680 --> 00:33:47.240 align:center No. So, from the moment I came to know I will be performing at Latent-- 00:33:47.440 --> 00:33:49.080 align:center - So you brought a guitar. - No. 00:33:50.160 --> 00:33:51.600 align:center No, bro. I mean… 00:33:54.080 --> 00:33:55.040 align:center - This is his best. - Bro, 00:33:55.120 --> 00:33:57.280 align:center you know, Latent is built for this. 00:33:57.720 --> 00:33:59.440 align:center This cannot go anywhere else. 00:34:00.600 --> 00:34:01.440 align:center No, bro. 00:34:01.600 --> 00:34:04.160 align:center This is a very strange. "Most scared of 00:34:04.240 --> 00:34:08.280 align:center being chased by a gangster doggy while riding a scooter." 00:34:08.960 --> 00:34:10.120 align:center Gangster doggy? 00:34:10.199 --> 00:34:13.159 align:center He's a dog who brings all the dogs together with him. 00:34:13.239 --> 00:34:14.480 align:center - Yeah. - Yeah. 00:34:15.239 --> 00:34:16.920 align:center That… 00:34:18.639 --> 00:34:20.280 align:center He's such a mischievous dog… 00:34:20.360 --> 00:34:22.080 align:center - Not you. - He barks this way… 00:34:22.760 --> 00:34:23.639 align:center Yeah. 00:34:24.040 --> 00:34:25.679 align:center After that… 00:34:28.760 --> 00:34:32.800 align:center I'm telling you, after that, you get shit scared when he looks at you. 00:34:33.159 --> 00:34:35.679 align:center That's okay. He applies Iodex on bread and eats it. 00:34:35.960 --> 00:34:36.800 align:center - What does he do? - Tell him. 00:34:36.880 --> 00:34:38.480 align:center - Iodex… - I apply Iodex on bread and eat it. 00:34:40.280 --> 00:34:42.719 align:center Still a better decision than doing Toxic, okay? 00:34:47.159 --> 00:34:48.600 align:center Come, fight me! Come, fight me! 00:34:50.239 --> 00:34:52.120 align:center Only those who have a reputation can be disgraced. 00:34:53.120 --> 00:34:54.360 align:center Hey, hey, hey… 00:34:54.480 --> 00:34:56.199 align:center - So, what are you doing here? - I'm talking about myself. 00:34:56.280 --> 00:34:57.520 align:center I'm talking about myself. 00:34:58.320 --> 00:34:59.760 align:center So this is how dogs fight. 00:35:05.480 --> 00:35:08.640 align:center Because that one dog brings the other dogs together. 00:35:09.520 --> 00:35:12.440 align:center - He has written-- - "I once hit someone hard in the chest." 00:35:13.840 --> 00:35:15.760 align:center Samay bhai, you know… 00:35:16.160 --> 00:35:18.560 align:center You've been bullied a lot for your fair skin. 00:35:18.640 --> 00:35:20.560 align:center - And I've been bullied for my black skin. - Okay. 00:35:20.680 --> 00:35:24.720 align:center And then he started making comments about my skin color. 00:35:25.920 --> 00:35:28.800 align:center So I hit him in the chest during the second or third period. 00:35:28.880 --> 00:35:31.360 align:center By the seventh period, I found out he had asthma. 00:35:32.440 --> 00:35:33.680 align:center Oh, shit! 00:35:33.840 --> 00:35:36.240 align:center Poor guy used to vape… What was it? 00:35:36.320 --> 00:35:38.120 align:center - Vape? - I mean… 00:35:40.000 --> 00:35:41.080 align:center He… 00:35:44.280 --> 00:35:45.400 align:center Oh, my God! 00:35:45.520 --> 00:35:46.480 align:center Oh, wow. 00:35:47.000 --> 00:35:48.440 align:center He looks like Aashish Solanki, right? 00:35:49.440 --> 00:35:51.360 align:center - A little bit. - He actually does. 00:35:55.400 --> 00:35:56.440 align:center Mr. Soybean. 00:36:18.000 --> 00:36:19.280 align:center Samay Raina in Still Alive. 00:36:31.280 --> 00:36:32.680 align:center Balraj without his kids. 00:36:44.640 --> 00:36:45.840 align:center This is Archana ji all the time.