[♪♪♪]
[WHIRRING NOlSE]
Son of a...
[♪♪♪]
[CAMERA WHIRRlNG]
[♪♪♪]
[DOORBELL RINGlNG]
SKYLER: I'm not leaving.
Walt, I'm not leaving.
Oh, my God.
[KEYPAD BEEPlNG]
[CELL PHONE RlNGING]
Ah. l can hear your cell phone ringing!
This is ridiculous. I can't...
[DOORBELL RINGlNG]
Ah. Uh-- What is going on with you? I've left you, like, 23 messages.
And? And?
We need to talk about the car wash.
Skyler, now is not a good time for me, okay?
Can we talk about this later? No, okay? We can't.
Why are you doing--?
[GASPS]
Oh, Jesus.
What happened? Nothing. l just bumped it. That's all.
Okay, I'm-- I'm coming in.
Okay.
Exactly what happened?
It's complicated and I don't wish to discuss it.
It's none of your concern. Are you in danger?
Walt.
Walt, I need you to look me in the eye and tell me right now.
Are you in danger? You know what?
Let's just say that l have a hell of a lot more on my mind right now
than thinking about buying a damn car wash.
Okay?
So if you could just--
Please.
Okay.
Okay. Then we go to the police.
What? We tell them everything.
That you're a drug dealer
afraid for your safety and the safety of your family
and you need help. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What choice is there? What choice?
If you're in danger, then it would be--
Wait, wait, stop, stop. Stop.
You keep saying that word. "Danger." "Danger."
But you said-- No, I have never used that word.
I said "complicated," and then you flew off the handle.
Yeah, I flew off the handle when l saw that.
Okay? Where'd that come from? Hm?
A fall in the shower? Uh--
This is just so passive-aggressive, you know.
Passive-aggressive?
I go two days without returning your phone calls, two days,
and I have one minor little incident, and now you're telling me
that I should turn myself in to the police!
A minor incident? Yes.
What minor little incident?
I had an argument with a co-worker, okay?
And?
I had an argument.
We were in this bar
and we were discussing a particular business strategy.
And it got heated and out of control, and he hit me. Once.
And I didn't retaliate because he's a much older man.
And that's it.
You were in a bar fight?
Yes, Skyler. I was in a bar fight.
So you're okay?
Really?
Yes.
I'm okay.
And I think, in the end, that it may have been a good thing
because we were able to clear the air and, you know--
Mutual respect, and...
So...
Frozen peas.
What? It's the best thing for the swelling.
Oh, it's not really swollen, it's just--
No peas.
You don't even have ice.
I will get peas, I will get ice. Peas and ice, I'm writing it down.
I, um...
I need you to promise me
that if things do get dangerous--
Skyler-- Promise me.
Absolutely.
So...
Car wash.
[OVER SPEAKERS] ♪ Trouble Kiss me again ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm hoping you are ♪
♪ Press it right there And I'll pay you back double ♪
♪ But this ain't the real thing Look at my lips ♪
WOMAN: Honey. Charles.
♪ Look at my teeth They're just aching to bite ♪
Take a look at this kitchen.
♪ lt's a big empty chasm ♪
Hi there. Can l answer any questions?
Yes. Any chance of a top-off?
Oh, I think we can help you out there.
♪ You've got compassion Coming out of your ears ♪♪
So, what do you think?
Oh, very nice. Very open.
Oh, I agree. It flows. Mm.
Whole lot of natural light.
Michael Kilbourne.
Tori Costner. It's nice to meet you.
Well, three bedrooms, one and a half baths on just under half an acre.
There's a non-attached casita out in back.
Permit usable as office or guest suite.
Hm. Plank wood floors.
Central heat and air.
I see you're married.
No, divorced.
Very recent.
Old habits. Heh. Oh, I'm sorry.
But any children? Yes, as a matter of fact. A little boy.
Oh, how old?
He turned 4 in May. He's a Gemini. Would love this yard.
Oh, plenty of space for a jungle gym.
And the neighborhood preschool is fantastic.
I think Eli is going to be homeschooled.
Oh, well, great. Not for religious reasons.
I wanna make sure he's getting attention.
He'll still go to summer camp and whatnot, playdates.
Don't want him to be socially awkward. Oh, no. Makes sense.
He tests very highly, 96 percentile.
But that whole right brain, left brain. You want those in balance.
Oh, yeah.
You said the casita has plumbing?
I work a lot with clay, so I need access to running water.
Well, it's pipe-fitted for a quarter bath so...
Make a perfect studio.
Hm.
This could work.
Heh, heh. Hell, that's the doctor's plan to get her patients at ease.
If you know what l mean.
WOMAN 1 : But, nurse--
MARlE: Hello? l'm back.
WOMAN 2: That's okay.
MARlE: Hank? Yeah.
[HANK CLEARS THROAT]
I had to go to three places to get the moisturizer that you like.
But l got that.
And I got your Shiner Bock and your chips.
And I couldn't resist.
The complete encyclopedia to fantasy football.
Look, it has all the latest rankings. Marie, I said Cheetos, not Fritos.
Wait, I...
I said Cheetos, like, 1 0 times. You need me to write it down?
No, and I don't need you to be mean about it either.
Well, I'm just saying, you know, I said Cheetos. "Ch," "ch," "ch" sound.
Virtually impossible to confuse Cheetos with Fritos, seems to me.
Where are you going? I-- Back to the store, I guess.
Here.
And the draft's not for two months, so this is useless.
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
Can you believe it?
What?
What? This.
Well, you always said this place could be bugged.
Now we know. Yeah, well.
I don't like it.
It's a violation of the work space.
Yeah, I guess.
You wanna do something?
Do something?
Like what?
Go-karts?
Go-karts. What--?
Yeah, there's a track down by the Coliseum.
It's pretty fun.
No, actually l have some kind of a meeting, so...
All right, whatever.
Rain check?
Yeah. Sure.
How you doing?
Good. Yeah?
You okay?
Is there, uh, anything we should talk about?
How's your eye?
Yeah, it's fine.
Anything we should talk about?
For what it's worth,
getting the shit kicked out of you...
not to say you get used to it...
but you do kind of get used to it.
Two words: nail salon.
Perfect for money laundering.
It's a high-volume business with a discreet work force.
I mean, nobody does, "Mister, me know nothing"
better than Mrs. Mookjaiaporn and her gals.
Mr. Goodman--
"Saul," please.
Now, for the lady of the house.
Drum roll. How about a lifetime supply
of French manicures and enzyme peels?
Oh, yeah, go ahead. Pinch yourself. Ha-ha-ha.
We're not buying a nail salon, Mr. Goodman.
We're getting the car wash. I'm sorry.
Am l missing something here? Didn't you already try that?
Yeah. I mean, Walt told me that you took a run at this Bogdan character
and he wrestled you into submission with his eyebrows.
Ten million, that was the asking price, right?
Apparently, he upped it to 20.
Wow. Nice negotiating. Yeah, l mean, hey, you bombed. It happens.
You were smart to call me. Now--
You just sit back, relax, and let a professional take over.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
That's for me. Excuse me.
What do you want? I'm in a meeting.
Why didn't you think of that before? It's not my--
I'm in a meeting.
Can Huell use your bathroom?
Huell?
Uh, sure. The top of the stairs.
He'll be quick.
It's a stomach thing. It's...
So where were we?
Professionalism. Yeah.
So if the guy won't sell, he won't sell.
I don't accept that. I don't accept that he won't sell.
I think he just lacks the proper...
motivation.
Motivation. Ah.
As in "motivation" motivation? l mean, just so we're on the same page here,
are you saying we make him an offer he can't refuse?
SKYLER: Nothing so dramatic as that, no.
Motivation.
Attitude adjustment.
[LAUGHS]
This one, she's a keeper.
Well, an audit can be highly motivating.
I know a gal at Tax and Revenue.
You give her 1 0 minutes, she'll have his sky raining frogs.
No, we don't want to draw any unwanted tax attention.
We don't want them looking at us after Bogdan sells.
All right, how about an lCE raid?
He's got illegals working over there. He has to.
We are not getting a bunch of poor, innocent people in trouble, no.
Yeah, and also you're gonna need them after you take over.
Hey, how about terrorism?
"Oh, Agent Hoover, l gotta tell you,
I've seen some real 'Islamic' comings and goings over there at the car wash.
Yeah, I mean, guys in turbans pulling up in vans and stuff like that." Ha, ha.
Saul, Bogdan is Romanian.
Okay, well, we're just spitballing here, so...
Okay, there's always:
"You got a real nice place here.
Be a shame if something happened to it." That angle.
What are you talking about?
Violence?
Attitude adjustment.
SKYLER: Oh, no. That, no.
That is not at all what I meant. I-- We do not do that.
That's not who we are, right?
Yeah, no, no, no. She's right.
Look, do I need to state the obvious?
I mean, there's gotta be dozens of car washes in this area.
Who says it has to be this one?
I do.
I say it has to.
Why?
I just do.
God.
Well, that clears things up.
I don't like him. Bogdan. Oh.
He was condescending to me, rude about you, and I do not like him.
Simple as that.
Hey, nobody appreciates a passionate woman more than I do.
But in this business--
And Walt can back me up on this.
--the number one rule is don't take things personally.
What do you mean, rude about me?
Something along the lines of you weren't man enough
to face him yourself.
What? That you had to send your woman
to do your business for you. Ha, ha.
Speaking as your lawyer, I'm gonna go on record and say this is a bad idea.
Now, I advise against-- It's this one. lt's this one.
[SlGHS]
Okay, so, uh...
All we have to do is think of a non-violent, unsuspicious way
to purchase the car wash, that protects the innocents
and doesn't cost $20 million.
Don't everybody speak at once.
[TOILET FLUSHlNG]
WOMAN: I like it. MAN: Mm-hm.
WOMAN: Yeah.
[PEOPLE CHATTERlNG]
Hi.
Can l answer any questions?
Oh. Spoons. Yes, the owner is quite the collector.
Aren't they something? One for each of the 50 states.
Puerto Rico is technically a territory. Huh.
You know, maybe they were thinking, "Someday."
[LAUGHS]
So no basement?
No basement. Sorry. That's a problem.
My brother's in the Peace Corps and won't be back for 1 8 months
and I said I'd hang on to his furniture.
Well, if you're looking for storage space, there's an attic area.
Oh. Well, an attic might be even better, as long as it's dry.
Let's take a tour. Okay.
Actually, I have a handout for you.
It has all the information.
I'm Stephanie Doswell, by the way. Charlotte Blattner.
So nice to meet you, Charlotte. You too.
So I told him point-blank.
You're my husband and I love you, but you're 53 years old.
This job has just gotten too stressful and difficult, and it's time to quit.
And, miracle of miracles, he listened.
What a fascinating career that must have been for him.
It was.
I mean, NASA was like a second family to us,
but, you know, it was time for a new adventure.
So between his pension and the income I bring in from hand modeling,
we're, you know, comfortable. When were these floors redone?
Two years ago. The counters are brand-new.
I can tell. Travertine.
Nice.
Any children? No.
I don't really want kids.
Is that horrible for me to say? Not at all.
Not everyone has to have children.
You should talk to my husband. Ha, ha.
Garbage disposal?
[GARBAGE DISPOSAL WHlRRING]
[FEVER RAY'S "lF l HAD A HEART" PLAYING]
[SCREAMlNG]
♪ This will never end 'Cause I want more ♪
♪ More, give me more Give me more ♪
♪ This will never end 'Cause I want more ♪
Check it out. Score, yo.
♪ Give me more ♪
MAN 1 : Come on. Come on. What you got?
MAN 2: You're going down!
[MAN 3 SCREAMS]
[PEOPLE SHOUTING]
♪ If I had a heart I could love you ♪
♪ If I had a voice I would sing ♪
♪ After the night when l wake up ♪
[SCREAMlNG]
♪ l'll see what tomorrow brings ♪
♪ If l had a voice I would sing ♪♪
[PEOPLE CHATTERlNG]
I really love your home.
Oh, well, thank you, Mimi.
It has a very European feel.
WOMAN: You think? Oh, I lived in London for years,
so, yeah, this feels familiar.
Where in London? I was stationed at Upwood in the '60s.
Downtown, but we were almost never there.
My husband is an illustrator. We traveled a lot. Paris, Italy, Denmark.
It was before the kids were in school, so it was easy to pick up and go.
That was before my youngest, Lucy, was diagnosed with endocarditis.
Oh, my. Gosh, is that--?
It's a bacterial infection of the heart valves. It's...
Yeah, it can be...
Oh, that's terrible.
Is she all right?
Your daughter. Is she okay?
Yes. Thank you. Um--
The doctors put in a prosthetic valve, so she's-- Lucy's fine.
Running and walking, riding horses.
Thank goodness. MARlE: Yeah.
We're very lucky.
Excuse me, miss. Very nice, thank you.
I just called the police. Okay, then.
I know you stole that spoon.
What are you talking about?
You're a thief.
Excuse me? And a liar.
Making stories up. What's wrong with you?
No, what's the matter with you?
You better just back off, okay?
My husband is a DEA agent. Oh, I thought he was an astronaut.
Or an illustrator. Get your crazy lies straight.
You know what, fatty? You are so lucky
that I am late for an appointment. You're not going anywhere.
MARlE: Let go of my purse! Not until the police get here.
Let it go!
Let it go! Let it go!
You are in big trouble.
[RINGlNG]
Yeah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Just slow-- Hey, just-- Slow down. Start from the-- You're--
You're where?
Why the f--?
Why are you--?
Are you seriously doing this to me again?
[SlGHS]
Jesus, just--
Would you stop crying?
I'll make a phone call. Just sit tight.
Where they got you?
So good news. The officer spoke to the homeowners.
They're not gonna press charges.
Good. l won't either.
Okay, then. So we're good to go.
You ready?
[SlGHS]
Marie, you wanna go home?
Marie?
[CRYlNG]
[KEYPAD BEEPlNG]
Yes, it's Skyler White calling for Saul Goodman, please.
Yes, it is important.
Thank you.
Sorry. Same as before.
But this is not right.
You cannot shut me down. You cannot do this.
MAN: I've checked your wastewater inside and out.
I've checked your runoff gutters, and now out here, more contaminants.
Ammonia, acetone, benzene, nitrobenzene.
BOGDAN: No, no, no, this is a mistake.
Where is Gary? He'll tell you my soap is very good, very green.
Your soap is not the issue, it's your filtration system.
The very least, you'll need to retrofit.
But if you're leeching into the groundwater,
which is a real possibility here,
you're gonna need to replace your system.
Replace?
Do you know what cost that is? Two hundred thousand dollars.
It's a hardship.
If you like, we can give you a list of approved vendors.
If you get going, your downtime shouldn't be any more than five weeks.
Okay. So sorry, you are right.
From now on, we will be extra careful and clean.
No more pollution, okay? Yes? No, I'm sorry.
The state requires you to suspend all activity
until these levels reach the mandated minimums.
Where is usual man? Where is Gary? Got transferred to Las Cruces.
If you'd like to file an appeal-- I have done nothing wrong.
Tell me why you shut me down.
What laws did l break? What laws? Several.
Tell me exact specific laws or I refuse. Right now.
[STAMMERlNG]
Tell me what laws l broke. The specific laws
SKYLER [ON EARPIECE]: Hold on. Okay, hold on, hold on.
Wait, wait, wait. Okay.
Okay. The New Mexico Hazardous Waste Act of 1 978,
section 74, chapter four, part 1 3 states:
"Whenever the disposal of solid or hazardous waste presents"...
--an imminent or substantial endangerment,
the offender may be fined
not more than $5000 each day in which the violation occurs.
All right, okay.
Now the...
Okay, baby.
All right. The EPA can cite him under the Toxic Substances...
--Control Act of 1 976.
U.S. code, title 1 5, chapter 53--
"--subchapter 1 "...
--section 2606.
Satisfied?
Was that specific...
--specific enough for you?
[SPEAKS IN FORElGN LANGUAGE]
MAN 1 [ON TV]: Threw one in the channel in the 1 0th.
MAN 2: I guess they're even now. MAN 1 : Yep.
And they're even in this match. Both have...
MARlE: All done with lunch? Hm.
You hardly touched this.
I'm not hungry.
Well...
I'm leaving the rice pudding.
I'm not hungry, Marie.
So don't eat it.
MAN 1 : Speaking of babies, he has a new one, Joseph, and a son, Anthony.
[BEEPS]
[DISHWASHER WHlRRING]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Hey, Marie. How you doing?
I'm okay. Is there a problem? No, no.
Everything's fine.
I'm here for Hank, actually.
Oh, you're so sweet. Hank'll be thrilled.
MAN [ON TV]: Hard and straight.
And makes it the wrong way. MARlE: Sweetie.
You have a visitor.
Oh, Jesus.
What now? She rob a bank?
Hey, buddy. How you doing?
Oh, well...
Can't complain. You know, every day a little better.
That's good. You're looking good. Yeah, well,
handsome was never the hard part.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Come on in, grab a seat.
Yeah, just throw that stuff anywhere.
Listen, uh...
thanks again for the other day. You know, this whole thing, it's, uh...
It's been hard on her.
Forget it. Glad to help.
So rock collecting?
They're minerals, but, yeah.
It's cataloging. You know, sort them, label them.
It's actually a lot of work. Yeah.
No, it looks like it.
So, what's up? Well...
Actually, I could use your help on something.
Homicide. Possibly drug-related.
You want my help on a case? What am I, Ironside? Heh-heh-heh.
No, you're a drug cop who knows the local talent.
And a pal I just did a favor for, so let me pick your brain a sec.
You ever come across a guy by the name of Gale Boetticher?
No.
Someone came along and shot him in the face.
Okay. No signs of forced entry,
no signs of robbery.
Okay, so it's a crime of passion. Where's the drug angle?
We found a notebook at his place.
I made a copy for you, in case you're interested.
Looks like it pertains to some kind of methamphetamine superlab.
Yeah.
It's filled with scientific formulas and chemical purchase lists,
drawings, pages and pages of this stuff.
It looks big-time, but I'm no authority, so I wonder if you might take a look?
Come on, Tim, seriously?
What is this, some sort of a charity thing?
Your expertise could be useful here.
I'm lying here like third base,
living from bowel movement to bowel movement.
I'm not even useful to myself.
Want my advice?
You take this to Steve Gomez.
He'll help you out. I give this to Steve Gomez
and all of a sudden it becomes a DEA case, what good does that do me?
If you could just take a look, tell me what I got here.
I'd really appreciate it.
Yeah.
Whatever.
Thanks, man.
Take it easy.
That's what I do. Heh, heh.
[TV TURNS ON]
[CROWD CHEERING ON TV]
MAN 1 : No, no.
MAN 2: The three, seven, nine. He says, "No."
[BABY COOING]
Well, it was a good try.
Here we go. Time for your nap. Yeah.
Okay.
So...
Nail salon sounded promising. What do you think?
I think we wait.
Wait?
Skyler, it has been five hours.
He'll call.
Just wait. Just wait.
Look...
It was a good idea. It was a great idea, but it didn't work.
So why don't we simply chalk it up as a learning--
[PHONE RINGlNG]
White residence.
Oh, hello, Mr. Wolynetz.
Am l still interested?
Well, I think that depends.
Yes, 879 was the original offer, but that seems high to me now.
Now l'm offering 800. No, no, no.
No, don't do that. Why?
Well, because you're an unpleasant person, Mr. Wolynetz.
You were rude, disrespectful towards my husband.
Furthermore, l've met with quite a number of sellers
and the market seems much softer than I thought, so 800.
[BOGDAN SPEAKING INDlSTlNCTLY]
Uh-huh. Hm.
Well, I understand that you're disappointed, but that is my final offer.
I'm sorry we couldn't make it work. Goodbye.
What are you doing?
I'm negotiating.
Why?
Because l want to pay less.
Oh, no.
Seventy-nine thousand dollars less?
Who cares? Do you know how much I make?
Yeah, but that's the very reason we need to negotiate.
We don't wanna arouse suspicion by not trying to get a good deal.
Look, I get the logic, l do, but you just went too far with it.
You're calling him names?
I didn't call him names. I said he was unpleasant.
[SlGHS]
Well, he's not calling you back.
I mean, you didn't honestly think that worked?
Yeah, I do.
No way. Sorry. No.
So look, it's time to move on.
Okay? l'm gonna call Saul.
Where's my phone?
[PHONE RINGlNG]
No. What?
No, just-- What for?
Wait. Wait.
[RINGlNG CONTINUES]
Oh, my God.
Hello.
Hello, Mr. Wolynetz.
SKETCHY: No one's paying attention to where these things are.
There's gotta be thousands of them all over the world coming right for us.
And put one inside an ice cream truck, drive it into San Francisco.
I'm not even that scared of burning up and cannibalism.
To me, the thing that worries me is getting trampled
or shoved up against a chain-link fence.
If you think about it, if you're against a chain-link fence
and you've got a lot, I mean, a lot of people trying to escape,
pushing hard enough forward, Unh.
you are gonna get squeezed right through the chain links.
Like Play-Doh or some kind of soft meat.
And this is inevitable, okay?
And there's nothing you or me or anyone can do about it.
And if the fence posts are stuck deep, really deep with the cement,
way down inside the ground,
it's definitely happening to you.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, bitch.
Somebody got shot. Somebody probably got shot.
Like soft meat, man.
Right through. Squeezed through there like soft meat.
Like soft meat.
Right through the chain links, right through the chain links.
Hey. Hey.
[SNORING]
Money!
[ALL CLAMORING]
MAN 1 : That one was mine.
MAN 2: Take it easy! MAN 3: Hey, you took mine, man!
WOMAN: Yeah!
[PEOPLE SHOUTING]
SKYLER: Ooh.
Whoa.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Aww...
Nice. Yeah.
To clean cars and clean money.
Hear, hear.
You see?
I told you we'd get it.
Did you? Mm-hm.
Wow. Ha, ha.
Seriously.
It was really great work.
It's impressive.
Thank you.
And Saul finally came through. Ahem.
Well, I mean, he found the guy, right?
Well, yes, he found the guy, but l told him what to do and what to say.
You're right. That's the hard part.
But, yes, Saul was finally useful. Ha, ha.
Throw him a bone.
[LAUGHS]
Mm. Oh, my God.
This is truly amazing. Yes, well, it better be.
Three hundred twenty dollars a bottle.
What?
"Cuvée Pol Roger Sir Winston Churchill."
Apparently, it was his favorite champagne,
so they just named it after him.
How did you pay for it? What do you mean?
Ah. No. Cash, I paid cash.
No, I'm asking how did you, Walter White,
an unemployed schoolteacher, pay for it?
How do you explain it? Skyler.
No one saw me.
Whoever sold it to you did.
And that's not the point. The point is we're broke, remember?
I'm waiting for your unemployment check so I can pay the phone bill.
I asked for an extension from the power company. Why?
Because on paper, we have no money. You are completely overreacting.
I'm not apologizing for wanting to celebrate in some small way.
I'm not asking you to apologize, Walt.
I'm asking you to be smart.
I bought one bottle of champagne.
One single bottle, Skyler.
I paid cash. That's it.
That's all it takes, okay? I mean, look at Watergate.
One piece of duct tape on a door
brought down the president of the United States.
What? l'm Nixon now? No.
What l'm saying is the devil is in the details.
One little mistake, one slipup in our story,
that could ruin us.
[SlGHS]
Fine.
[SlGHS]
Gotta destroy the evidence.
And when l look at this image that is part of the record,
I am very concerned about what sort of distraction that could be,
whether it's from any sort of signage,
but especially signage that's changing every five seconds.
Thank you.
MAN: Any other questions?
We have a motion and a second on the floor to grant the appeal.
All those in favor, raise your hand and say yes. Yes.
There's four in the affirmative. Those opposed?
There's five no's and the-- That motion fails.
WOMAN: I would like to make a motion to uphold the decision
and the findings of the EBC.
MAN: And the motion, then, is seconded by Councilor Cook. Any questions?
I see none. All those in favor, signify by saying "yes" to deny the appeal.
[lNDISTINCT DIALOGUE ON TV]
All those in favor, signify by saying "yes."
There's five in the affirmative. All those opposed, say "no."
There's four in the negative. Now, that passes.
[♪♪♪]