So, this damn thing crashed.
Took our holiday pictures with it. Wedding too.
My wife is pissed.
Well, I'm sorry about that. Let's see what we can do.
Ah, the 15-inch. That's a nice machine.
Don't worry. I get 20 of these a day. I'll take care of it.
-Thank you. -No problem.
Uh, it might take a little while, though,
because these logic boards use ATX-standard form factor,
which is just a little more complicated than the Neo-ITX--
You know what? I'm just gonna go grab a Starbucks,
and I'll come back in, what, an hour or so?
Sounds great.
Oh, and what's your password? Just so I can log in.
-It's, uh, "password." -[Robby chuckles]
Don't sweat it. Mine's "1234."
[laughs] Right.
Thanks for taking care of this, um… Eduardo.
You're a lifesaver.
It's my pleasure. [chuckles]
[heavy metal music plays]
Yo, Robby, what'd we get?
Fifteen-incher.
Noice.
Thanks, Eddie. We'll get you your cut.
I got three guys right now willing to pay 400,
and no questions asked.
Oh man.
Dude, have them each Venmo half, and then give it to who shows up first.
[boy 1 laughs]
What about the other two?
[boys scoff]
Sucks for them.
[boy 1] Come on.
[snickers] What, you looking to take karate?
No.
It's my fucking dad.
Come on. Let's get out of here.
[heavy metal music plays]
[door knocking]
Oh, Miguelito!
I don't want you ever coming near my son again, do you understand me?
I'm sorry. I should never have gotten involved.
No! Cobra Kai never dies!
[Johnny groans]
[muttering]
What are you smiling at?
[spray can rattles, hisses]
Hey, man.
Wanna trade cans?
Hey, Sam.
Banana-rama chocolate chip pancakes are up.
[Anthony] Oh sweet! Cha-ching!
Hey, remember, save some for your sister. You know those are her favorites.
Oh, like I don't like pancakes?
Hey, come on, Sam! You're missing out!
[Anthony] Nice! Pancake taco.
Come on, dude.
Seriously?
[footsteps approaching]
Sam!
[door slams]
[sighs]
[phone ringing]
Hey, hon.
Hey, uh… Are you close?
Yeah, I'm sorry I'm running late.
I wanted to talk to Sam, but she snuck by me.
Pretty sure she hates me.
She's a teenage girl.
You embarrassed her in front of her boyfriend.
-Of course she hates you. -[sighs]
Look, I just wanted to brace you for the billboard.
Holy shit, it's huge.
Tom Cole's clearly compensating for something, right?
Oh… No.
No, babe, I'm talking about our billboard.
Why? What happened to our bill…
[heavy metal music plays]
Motherf--
Frankly, we're big supporters of the department.
We donate every year to the charity drive.
I want you to round up the scum that did this.
Excuse me, officer. Could you just give us a minute? Thanks.
Honey, if they arrested everybody who painted dicks on things,
there wouldn't be room in the jails for all the murderers.
Yeah, all right, but they can still go look for the guy.
I understand that you're frustrated, but try not to think about it.
Just think positively.
Positive? What's positive? I have a dick in my mouth.
Yeah, and you'll blow the competition away. [chuckles]
OK, look, no one's even gonna see it.
We picked that location because of the traffic level.
OK, fine. Let's assume people see it. Let's assume everybody sees it.
-OK. -No one's gonna recognize you.
-Really? -All they're gonna see is the dick.
OK, it is the dick's billboard now.
OK? People drive by so fast, they're not gonna spot you.
Did you guys see the billboard? It's freaking hilarious.
-We're painting over it. -Good idea.
[mom] Here.
Hold this ice on your ribs.
[Miguel] Oh, thanks.
Miggy, why don't you tell me who did this?
I'll call the school. They can protect you.
-It will only make things worse, Mama. -Worse than this?
Yes. If I just had more lessons, then maybe I'll--
No!
It's not Sensei Lawrence's fault. I just…
I just wasn't ready.
No. No more karate.
[in Spanish] Carmen, what is the problem here?
-He found something he likes to do. -[in English] Thank you.
-[in Spanish] Look at him. -I see him!
What he needs is practice, right?
Keep your hands up, protect your head!
Mama, this man is a bad influence.
[in English] He's not. You don't know him.
-I know he's a loser. -He is not a loser.
If you knew him, you'd see he's a great man.
[phone ringing]
[groans]
-Who is this? -[Carla] Mr. Lawrence?
This is Ms. Jenkins, the vice principal at Robby's school.
We spoke a couple of months ago.
Right. Yeah, hi. I remember.
I'm sorry if I'm interrupting the big canoe trip.
-Canoe trip? -As much as I appreciate
a boy and his father bonding on the mighty Colorado,
your note said he'd be gone two weeks, and it's been almost a month.
Wait. Are you saying Robby's been out of school for a month?
I'm sure it's easy to lose track of time on the river.
I grew up on the Mississippi Delta,
but if your son's not back in school this week,
we'll have to discuss holding him back.
Oh, he'll be there. Don't worry.
Mr. Lawrence?
[sighs]
Shit.
Hey, Sensei, my mom says that I can't train with you anymore,
but I had this idea that maybe if we went to the dojo before--
You don't get it, kid. There is no dojo.
I'm closing it up.
It's over.
What about me? I… I need you.
Sorry, kid.
I gotta go.
[students snorting]
[boy 1] Hey, piggy!
[boy 2] Sooey!
[students laughing]
[Sam] Hey.
How are you feeling?
I've gone viral.
How do you think I am?
[girl 1] Cheeto pig!
Look, they're mean, but they have short memories.
They'll forget.
Yeah. Well, I'm not gonna forget.
[girl 2] Hey, Miss Piggy!
Hey! There's my girl.
Hey.
Hey. What's wrong?
-Nothing. -I got the movie tickets.
-You sure I'm not dragging you? -No, it'll be fun.
You know it's one of those dying-teenager-in-love movies, right?
-Yeah, I love tragic shit. -Really?
Just promise me you won't tease me if I, like, tear up.
[laughs]
[phone chimes]
[Sam sighs]
Hey, I've gotta get to class, but I'll see you tonight.
-I can't wait. -Yeah, me too.
[phone chimes]
Come on, Sam.
[woman] Hey. Did you order lunch for everybody?
No.
[woman] This guy says you ordered a hundred sausages?
Hey, can I… Can I see that slip?
What's going on?
It's from Cole's on Van Nuys.
Tom Cole, that son of a bitch.
Oh yeah. Special instructions say you prefer your sausages long and thick.
Do you think Cole's behind the billboard?
Who knows? But, hey, free lunch.
-Yeah, well, I'm not hungry. -OK.
-[Anoush] Hey, boss. -Hey. How's it going up there?
I wanna see it.
Yeah, you know, not gonna lie. We've had a couple hiccups.
Is that my cousin? Let me talk to him.
Hey, what's up, cuz? Beautiful day out here in the Valley.
-We're gonna get some beers later. -[Anoush] No, we're not.
Just show me the billboard.
[Anoush] All right. We're getting some things done here.
-Why didn't you start in the middle? -[Louie] The middle?
Come on, man. Have you ever painted anything before?
You want even lines.
You start at the end, and you work your way down.
It's bad enough we're up here looking like Ghostbusters.
-I gotta put up with this? -OK. You see what I'm dealing with here?
Just paint over the--
I'm on it. Don't worry. It's gonna be totally fine.
-OK, we're gonna do things my way-- -[squelching]
Oh God, I just stepped in dog shit.
How would a dog even get up here?
Oh…
I mean, she's nice, but the booty's fake, right?
What you talking about? She got them yams.
Man, that's grade-A, organic, gluten-free, booty-butt ass cheeks.
[Johnny] Sorry to interrupt your circle jerk.
-What the hell? Don't you knock? -Been knocking for five minutes.
You couldn't hear me over that trash in your boom box.
-What the hell's a boom box? -What the hell's that thing on your face?
-It's a mustache. -[boy chuckles]
-What are you doing here? -Got a call from your principal.
Heard about our trip to Colorado.
Well, I had no idea what a real father-son trip looked like,
so I had to use my imagination.
If it makes you feel better, next time, you can pick where we don't go.
This isn't about us. This is about the fact that you should be in school,
not wasting your life hanging around these jackholes.
-Hey, screw you, man. -Screw you!
Is your mom around?
What am I saying? Of course she's not.
It's three in the afternoon. It's happy hour somewhere.
Don't.
Don't talk about my mom like that.
Look, I get it. School can be a drag.
-But you got your whole future ahead. -Ooh!
Does that mean I can grow up and have my own strip mall karate school?
[boys snickering]
I'm not talking about me, all right?
You could make something of yourself.
Like your old pal Daniel LaRusso?
Must be nice to be a winner.
Whatever.
Go to school, don't, I don't care.
That's it. You don't care, or this wouldn't have taken so long.
-The school just called me this morning. -It took 16 years.
And I'm not going to school. I'm done.
And mom's OK with it, so we're good. You can go.
So, that's it? No more karate?
I guess so.
It's probably for the best.
It was starting to boost your confidence.
-Isn't that a good thing? -No.
What has confidence ever gotten anybody except for a black eye
and their backpack thrown in the trash?
Well, I thought it was kind of cool how you stood up to Kyler.
[Demetri] Are you insane?
Let me ask you.
What is the best superpower anyone could have?
-Super strength. -Wrong.
Invisibility.
A distant second would be super speed to run away fast.
Run away from who?
[groans]
"Whom."
It's the object of a preposition. Remember English class.
[Miguel] We were just leaving.
Hey, where you going? Oh, look at this freak.
-Oh shit! -[Brucks laughing]
What kind of girl would ever kiss this shit?
Shit.
Leave him alone, Kyler.
[Brucks] Oh ho-ho!
[Kyler] What'd you say?
You haven't had enough, 'Rhea?
Huh?
Yeah. Get the hell out of here, man.
[Brucks snickers]
-Hey, you don't want this shit. -No, come on. Not the trash.
I just threw a… yogurt in there.
-Oh! -Now it's double dip.
[Demetri groans]
-[Brucks] Oh! -[Kyler snickers]
[snickers] Oh, that was brut, Ky.
-[Kyler snickers] -Oh God.
-Dumb shit. -[Brucks laughs]
[Kyler] What a bunch of losers.
-[Brucks] Dude, I think he was gonna cry! -[Kyler laughs]
[school bell rings]
[car horn honks repeatedly]
[Carmen] Miggy!
Miggy!
[Miguel sighs]
Surprise!
I changed my shift so we can go to the movies
and see that new Spider-Man.
And to keep me away from karate.
Come on. You can put the M&M's in the popcorn.
I just wanna go home.
OK.
We'll go home.
When he gets here, don't mention the billboard.
-It's a bit of a sensitive issue. -Hey, I'm sorry I'm late, everyone.
It's been a crazy day. I'm sure you've seen the--
We haven't.
So, Marketing,
Daniel and I are both excited to hear your ideas.
We've been meaning to update our advertising for a few months now.
Well, first of all, let me say that it makes our job so much easier
when we pitch to a company that already has great branding.
Your karate gimmick is just fantastic.
Well, it's…
It's not a gimmick.
Uh, we use karate in our ads, because back in the day,
karate in the Valley was like football in Texas, you know,
and Daniel was a champion.
The same thing with the bonsai trees. It's something personal.
But if people think it's a gimmick, maybe we should change it.
I mean, Tom Cole doesn't rely on a gimmick.
Oh, actually, didn't Bobby just do that "Yankee Doodle" thing for Tom?
You could probably pull it up on the shared drive.
Just don't let him know we showed you.
[military snare druming]
Patriot Tom Cole here.
When I'm not busy fighting the hated British for your freedom,
I'm fighting to bring you great deals, great American deals.
And because I love this land we call home,
I'm giving every new customer their very own drought-resistant cactus.
In these dry times,
it really is the only responsible plant to own.
A strong American plant
from the strong American himself, me, Tom Cole.
Cole's on Van Nuys.
You "musket" down here.
[musket firing]
[sighs]
Well, we'll let you know.
-[man] And that is an internal audit. -[slurping]
Now, obviously, an external audit is similar,
-but as you can imagine… -[slurping loudly]
…the stakes are a lot higher. Are you sure I'm not boring you?
No. [chuckles]
No, no, no.
This is all very, um… fascinating.
-Because I love the numbers. -[slurps loudly]
Everything you wanna know is right there.
-It's kind of sexy if you think about it. -Oh shit.
[woman] Hi, Johnny.
Wow, what a nice surprise.
I called you eight times.
Then I just started circling your usuals.
You know what, PJ?
Why don't you go grab us a table, and I will meet you over there?
Terrific. You know what? I will order us a dozen oysters.
Oh, isn't that thoughtful? [chuckles]
-[PJ] Excuse me. -[woman sighs]
-What the hell are you doing here? -I should ask you the same question.
Shouldn't you be at home with our kid…
instead of scamming for a free meal with this nerd?
For the record, I actually came here looking for a bartending position.
Yeah, sure you did.
-You need an application, Shan? -Shut up, Terry.
Do you know that our son is at your apartment
skipping school and smoking dope with a bunch of dirtbags?
Well, that would be the first time ever
that you actually know where your son is, so congratulations.
[PJ] Hey, sweetie.
-Our table's ready. -OK.
I'm sorry. We were just about to sit down for dinner.
-I hope you don't mind. -Word of advice,
she won't go down on you unless you buy dessert.
All right, I'll let you guys finish up.
-I'll just be over here. -Yeah, you let us finish up.
[Shan sighs]
So, you're gonna let Robby drop out of school?
I can't make that kid do anything anymore.
He can stay with me. I'll make him go.
OK. Yeah, sure.
Uh, you'll take care of him with all of your amazing dad skills.
Yeah, at least I'm not giving up on him.
Eat shit, Johnny!
You gave up on day one.
Day one, OK? I was the one that was there for him when he got mono.
I was the one that was there for him
when he built his own half-pipe, and he broke his wrist.
Where the hell were you?
-All right, well, I'm here now! -It's too late, Johnny.
There are no do-overs.
[PJ] You OK?
I hear they make a fantastic Apple Brown Betty.
And your hotel guests are gonna love the entertainment system.
So, are you thinking of replacing the whole fleet all at once
or maybe just in segments?
Nice car,
but before you buy, I'd read the fine print.
I hear the guy that runs this place loves to sneak in bogus charges.
Dealer prep, extended warranties. You know, they get you any way they can.
[laughs] Hey, Dan.
Could you excuse me just for a moment?
Help yourself to a boba tea. Angela, can you show her the boba?
So, how was lunch?
Cut the crap. I just saw your new TV spot.
You did? What'd you think?
Well, I don't know if my favorite part
is when you steal the whole "plant" thing from me
or imply I'm a water waster.
Or maybe it's when you suggest that I am somehow unpatriotic.
[Tom chuckles]
You know what's patriotic?
Free speech. Besides, I'm just doing what you're doing.
I'm not really a revolutionary soldier, and you're not really a karate guy.
Actually, I was two-time All Valley champ.
Whoa! Did you hear that, everybody?
We got a two-time karate champ over here. Guess I should be worried.
-Wah-sa-sa! -[staff, customers laughing]
Come on, Dan. I'm just joshing with you.
Let me get you a boba. Angela, get LaRusso a boba.
No, thanks, Angela.
Look, I just came down here to tell you to back off, OK?
I got a lot of stuff going on, and I don't need this.
Hey, I'm sorry, Dan.
I guess the rivalry gets the best of us sometimes.
Hey, look.
The Valley's big enough for two auto kings.
Am I right?
You sure I can't get you a boba?
Nah. Nah.
I'm fine.
All right. I guess you must be full after eating all that dick.
[staff, customers laughing]
[man] Love the billboard!
[laughter continues]
[heavy metal music plays]
[woman] I don't understand.
The doctor said there's a chance it could work.
Let me give you one of my lungs.
[man] No, it's too risky.
Besides, you've already given me your heart.
This is so sad, right?
Just watch the movie.
We don't actually have to watch the movie.
What's wrong?
I saw what you did to those kids in the library.
Oh.
'Rhea and that dude with the lip?
We're just messing with them. We're all friends.
[slurps]
Kyler, stop it.
Ow. Ow!
-Sam… -[grunts]
-Ow! [grunts] -I said stop it.
[audience murmuring, shushing]
[man] Quiet!
[man] Yeah!
Look at that.
It's just for us.
[door unlocking]
Please don't close the door.
Look.
I know I wasn't there for him when it mattered.
I let him down. I guess I let you down too.
And I know there's no do-overs,
but that kid…
is the only person in the world who hasn't given up on me.
And I don't wanna give up on him.
I know I messed up big-time,
but if you let him come back,
I won't fail him again.
I promise.
All right? Please, just think about it.
[in Spanish] I like him.
[sighs]
[Daniel] Kids, breakfast.
Oh, come on. You're still upset about Cole?
No. I took care of that.
I just wish I could take care of this.
She can't stay mad forever.
Hey, buddy.
A dry English muffin?
What is this, Afghanistan? I'll take a burrito.
Hey, this isn't a restaurant.
[footsteps approaching]
Morning, honey.
Morning.
What, no banana-rama pancakes today?
Are you kidding?
I'm just about to whip up a batch right now.
-I thought this wasn't a restaurant. -Just eat your muffin, OK?
Hey, Sam, it's gonna be hot again this weekend.
Maybe you wanna invite Kyler back over for a swim?
I don't think Kyler's gonna be around anymore.
Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
Oh, that's too bad.
Don't look too excited, Dad.
What? What excited? Who's excited? What?
Excited? This is my sad face.
-It's a very, very sad face. -[Sam chuckles]
[Daniel] Ha.
[shop bell jangles]
My mom says I can train again.
-She did? -Yeah.
I mean, if we still have the dojo.
We do for now.
But I need to know, are you ready to take things to the next level?
Yes, Sensei.
You got your ass kicked because you didn't have any defense,
so I'm gonna teach you the best defense that you can know.
And the best defense…
Hai!
…is more offense.
♪ Throw some perm on your attitude ♪
♪ Girl, you gotta relax ♪
♪ Ooh! ♪
♪ Let me show you what you got to do ♪
♪ You gotta lay it back ♪
♪ Matter of fact Band, show her how to lay it back… ♪
[Daniel] There it is.
♪ Show her how to lay it back ♪
Good morning.
Hey, guys.
Great job out there.
Hey, Daniel, uh…
I gotta show you something.
[Daniel] What's up?
We found a bunch of these up on the billboard.
That's the guy you went to high school with, right?
This son of a bitch disrespected our family name.
You gonna take that shit, cuz? Huh?
-[Anoush] Relax. -Don't tell me to relax!
I thought this was cute at first. This isn't funny. This is personal.
What are we gonna do about this?
[electronic music plays]