Pick up now. Please, Natalia, pick up.
This number is not available.
Ugh.
No way.
INCOMING CALL PIOTR
Let's spend the rest of our lives together.
More than happy to, sweetheart.
KILL ME IF YOU DARE
Wow! Whoa!
Ta-da!
This is for me.
And these are yours.
There you go.
Okay!
Okay.
There you go, hon.
What did I do to you this time?
I remembered our anniversary.
The World Association of Husbands should give you a medal, don't you think?
Come on, but we're having lunch.
You used coupons to pay for this food.
I'm not letting these go to waste.
I know. Yeah, you're the king of skimping. Why would that change with your wife?
Because restaurants are so overrated.
And there's rice in the mall next to your office building.
We're closing the month and you know that.
I'd be astonished if your ex spared you for a couple of hours today.
Just stop it. It's all in the past.
Natalia, Dagmara's my boss, that's all.
I'll buy you flowers and a present.
The iron.
You've been talking about it for a month.
Obviously, you don't get it, Piotr.
I'll make it up to you.
When? On our 60th anniversary?
That's right!
The mortgage will be paid off, we'll have an amazing vacation.
We'll try base jumping like you always wanted.
It's skydiving, Piotr. Will you still have vertigo then?
At that age, I'll have signs of dementia, and forget about vertigo.
Oh, Piotr.
Come on! Let's do something crazy!
Hop on!
Let me recommend a scratch card, hmm?
-Um, which one would you recommend? -So?
For you, my dear sir, the Golden Rhinoceros.
-Hmm? -I'm in, let's do it.
With a million, our mortgage would be paid.
Our property is in Warsaw, it's not in Malibu.
Oh, come on, just do it already!
Trust me, you've got yourself a customer. How much would it be for one?
Um, well, only ten dollars, sir.
-Do you have seven? -What?
-I'll pay you. Uh, here. Sorry. -No.
Mmm-hmm. At least you brought something.
For the happy couple!
And your wife holds the bigger share.
-Mmm-hmm. -Yeah, you heard her.
Oh, thank goodness!
What did he get you this time?
Diamonds, or something tropical maybe?
Look.
It may get hot, but it's not tropical.
Wow!
You're not helping.
"Special price!"
Just be thankful he didn't get you
a bathroom scale with a fat measuring function.
Cinderellas, what is it? Do you need a carriage, ladies?
Ah, because we're late! How clever of you to call us that.
Anyway, getting straight to the point, our client is…
pleased with the concept art,
so we're moving forward with the campaign for vacuum cleaners.
Super.
Super? More than super!
You two are rock stars!
Enough, guys, stop with the teasing.
Let's just try to be nice to the ladies.
And since I'm also pleased with your performance,
get ready, because I've got you the next deal.
And as always, we look forward to taking over the boys' account.
No, there's no need this time.
They're already working on their account, which is whiskey.
So, they get to work on whiskey?
Of course they got the whiskey account, it's a man thing!
"A man thing"? A man thing, really? What would they know about these things?
He lives with his mother, he's been dumped by his wife,
and he doesn't last very long.
-Ugh, what? -Not that I'm judging.
Ouch!
Hey, don't get upset, girls!
But we're already upset. Know why?
Because the only person who knows anything about men's stuff here is Natalia.
-What? -She's the only one with a real family
and a man by her side.
-Well… -That's it!
And that's why you're gonna love your next assignment.
Your attention, please.
Ladies and gentlemen, meine damen und herren,
mesdames et messieurs,
I present to you, corn kernels in a can!
CORN STRAIGHT FROM THE COB THE CORN-LOVER'S CHOICE
-I don't see a family in that. -Oh, just wait!
I've got it right here, look.
The Corny Crew! Ha!
The client's wife came up with it,
and he's attached to the idea of a family of corncobs.
The Corny Crew!
Do you remember when we were younger?
-We wanted to run a cafe gallery. -What's the balance in your account?
What if we murder our boss?
I think I'm starting to worry about you.
Ugh.
Yeah! Listen, man, now that we're talking about that--
-I don't have money. No, dude. -Twenty bucks! Forty bucks! Man!
-My album has potential! -What album?
-I'll pay you back! -You've got one song.
-I really can't. I'm sorry. -Hold on! Hold on!
-Dagmara! Look at you! -Come on, man.
Did I tell you that I dedicated a song to you on my latest album?
I called it, "The Ice Queen Doom."
Are you broke again, or have you come to raid the company fridge?
I love the food.
I'm afraid I'll have to talk to security so they don't let you in anymore.
Got a minute?
-Of course, yeah. -Hey, dude.
-I'd be her slave if she wanted me to. -I heard that!
We've got a problem.
NEWS LOVE UNTIL THE GRAVE
The celebrity on the list of richest Polish women that passed away?
The same woman. Her policy with our insurance agency was for 2.5 million.
Whoa!
It all went directly to her young husband, her personal trainer.
And are we paying him?
Piotruś…
I know you worked hard and had the best results this month,
but the board has decided to cut costs.
They've decided to freeze bonuses.
You know I need that bonus really badly.
Yeah, and I'm sorry. My hands are tied this time.
Mmm-hmm. Yup.
Wait, I heard your hands were tied. I'm here to help.
Take a seat.
I can find a way to fix this.
-I want to have a baby with you. -Say what?
Just figuratively speaking.
It's my latest idea.
I call it "my baby."
Our brand new product.
-"Safe vacation insurance." -Okay.
I'm thinking on pitching my new idea to the board to make it rain dollar bills.
And I think you can lead the project.
I really appreciate that.
And this is…
a present for your recent anniversary.
You remembered it!
You never forget the beautiful wedding of your first boyfriend, I'm telling you.
It's an insurance policy for Natalia's life.
Preferential terms, amazing offer.
I designed it all myself, all you need to do is sign.
Huh?
Ugh.
My two favorite neighbors!
-Bogdan. -So, have you guys made a decision?
A decision?
Of course! Decision of getting a safe!
All the other neighbors already have one of my safes.
Oh, yeah, you know, I think we're gonna take a pass.
-All we need is a bank account. -My dear, naive friend!
Do you think that's safe?
The internet's down all the time, cyberattacks, hackers…
You get an innocent email, a simple text that says,
"Click here, it's free!" You can't wait!
You just click and then what?
A hacker empties your account in less than three minutes.
-The times we're living in! -We use common sense.
Common sense! That's what I'm talking about.
Hear me out. I'm giving you a piece of advice.
I do like the Phoenicians, I only believe in cold, hard cash, okay?
Cash only clings to the people who always cling to it, am I right?
-Mmm-hmm. -Uh, I've gotta go.
We have pack, Angela wants to go to Zanzibar.
-Hello. -Hello.
Listen, I have to say that, honestly, I envy you two,
and the fact that you can spend your days at home, in peace.
What a treasure of a wife, hmm?
And where do you keep your treasures? Huh?
-A safe. Yeah. -Exactly!
-Piotr. -Mmm-hmm?
What do you think we did wrong with our life?
What do you mean?
Bogdan and what's-her-face?
Angela.
They're leaving for vacation for a third time this year.
We could be living like that as well.
Maybe I'll start selling everyone a safe, grow a horrible mustache,
and buy myself a fake Rolex.
-Ha-ha! -And I'd get breast implants.
Yeah.
So expensive you wouldn't cut the tags off for an entire month.
Seriously?
Ha-ha! Of course not, I'm kidding.
You're perfect just the way you are.
You left the rug wet on the floor.
-I always do. It's a self-drying rug. -Sure.
-And the socket is self-repairing. -Hey, don't do that.
Sweetie, stop that.
Not the socks, please.
You haven't had time to do it for three months anyway.
I know, but tonight it's…
See? You always make time for her.
-It's a work call. Look, it's work. -Mmm-hmm.
No decent boss would call anyone about work this late.
I'm gonna turn it off. You're right, my love. Come on.
What did I do wrong this time?
Nothing, but I thought we'd be spending this evening in peace.
Honey, I already turned off the phone.
You weren't going to until I told you. Excuse me.
Hey, watch it! Those are my…
Stop that! Stop that! These are important!
I apologize.
I'm gonna sleep on the couch.
Okay, fine by me.
All right, then.
Oh…
And don't forget your phone, please.
Piotr?
-Sweetie, what's going on? -I… I just…
Oh, my God! But why are you stammering?
Word salad. Please raise your hands. Oh, my God. Please try to smile for me.
It's crooked. It could be a stroke, give me your phone.
Call someone! Wait, I'll do it.
You don't move a muscle!
The first minutes are vital! Pinch your fingertips!
-It might be a stroke. -No!
-No! It's not-- -Trust me. I read it online.
It's not a stroke… I mean, it's not…
Oh God! Oh, my love…
-Please talk to me. -No!
Is it a heart attack? I've got you. I'm here till the end, okay? Breathe in!
It's not a heart attack! No, it's the cash prize!
We won the cash prize!
That's great! 1,000!
One million dollars, love!
We're rich!
-Let's drink to it! -Yeah! A million!
Yeah! Yeah! A million!
-Quite a bloodbath, right? -Shh…
My God, a million.
-A million. One million dollars. -I'm gonna buy it all.
We'll have to pay a lot of taxes on that. Geez, at least 100,000.
-All the things I have ever dreamed of. -So unfair right? We're down one hundred…
I can't believe it. I haven't cashed it and we already…
I've got an idea how to invest our winnings.
It's not how, but where.
-What, where? -Where will we go on vacation?
We can put some in a fund, and we buy a new house with the rest of it.
If we're going to invest our money, we should put it into my coffee shop.
I'm not saying that's a bad idea, but it's a high-risk investment.
I can see your plan and mine are very different.
-Yeah, but mine's reasonable. -Hello?
Hello?
-I can't hear you. -Hello?
Love you! Call you later!
-Have you finished the project? -I haven't started.
-And I'm not gonna. -No?
No.
Oh! Very well, then.
You're not gonna treat us like we're dumber than the rest of the team.
What? What are you…
Uh, I've never said you're dumber.
You're a chauvinist.
It must be difficult to be like that.
No. It's not difficult.
It's not difficult for me because I'm not a chauvinist.
And because if we lose that contract, you won't get paid.
Sounds good to me.
And, and, and you're fired!
No, darling.
I quit, okay?
What can I get you?
-Water. -Coffee and ice cream, for the last time.
Coming right up.
They might not kick me out for a month after not paying rent,
but after that, hello frostbite and homelessness.
Lend me a sleeping bag?
Of course, honey.
How 'bout coming with me to get welfare at the unemployment office?
No, there's no need. We're gonna open a cafe.
Of course, if we sell our organs.
I also want a small gallery for artists in it.
That is if anyone even wants to buy coffee from us.
I bought a scratch card and won a lot of money.
Here you go.
I also won one time.
One dollar.
-It was just a little baby. -Enjoy.
In this case, it was one million.
One what? One million?
I'm sorry, did you hear me say one million?
Yeah, you said one million. "One million." You heard yourself.
I meant one thousand. I meant one thousand times a hundred.
Just a hundred thousand.
Are you serious?
But a hundred in Poland is like having a million in Vegas!
I can't believe it, we're rich! I mean, you are rich, you and Piotr.
Piotr.
It's over.
You know, that scratch card was also paid with my money.
Really?
In fact, percentage-wise,
I contributed more.
Want to go look at the place?
-What if… -Let's just do it!
What if we just do it?
FOR RENT
And there goes our dream.
-It was good while it lasted. -Excuse me?
Oh, hello, ma'am. You did come back.
We've decided to rent this unit.
Well, I've already rented it out. I'm sorry, ma'am.
I'll outbid that offer.
Plus, I'll pay three months in advance.
I'll transfer the money right now.
-Hey, big guy. -Hey.
Tell me what's happening.
I'm not getting along with Natalia.
What did she do, man?
When we didn't have money, it wasn't good, but money is making it worse.
What, so now you have money?
Scratch card money.
I bought a Golden Rhinoceros and got a million dollars--
You won one million? What?
-Shh! Shut it! Shh! -What do you mean? One million?
-Almost. -Million?
-Almost. -Jesus! They just won a million!
-A million! -Shh! Quiet! Shh!
-Piotr? -You're back already?
-You won't believe it. -Did you finish early?
I quit my job.
Quit your job? Really?
I should've done it a long time ago. What's that?
The winnings.
Which I see you're already spending.
-I paid for the shopping with my card. -The credit card?
Honey, do you know how high the interest is?
-Credit is for a rainy day. -The advance for the cafe too.
We can return it.
-The winnings? -No, the rent.
Yeah, well, two thirds of that money is actually mine.
It's my right to decide what we spend it on.
You picked up the money on your own?
It was the safest way.
Just like travelling by plane, each of us should travel separately.
But why not together?
That way one of us can live in the event of, you know, an accident.
So whoever survives keeps all the money?
You asked for it in cash, not transferred? I mean, where are we keeping it?
The mattress? Or the couch? Where?
Mmm! My dear friends, this is the right choice if you ask me.
A tank couldn't get out of here.
-Uh, is the size about right? -It's great, yeah.
Yeah. It depends on what kind of money we're talking about.
The kind that should fit in there perfectly.
Some small change, that's it.
Very well. Here's the instruction manual.
The guarantee. Okay.
And the most important thing
is that you will need two keys to open it.
Mmm! Of course, "love and trust," as they say,
but "safety above all" is what I say.
They also say,
"Even the sweetest bride can turn into a ruthless murderer
when money gets in the way."
You know what I mean?
I'm just joking!
Well, gave a great day.
There.
Okay. Did you tell anyone about the money?
No, no one knows.
I'm sorry, did you hear me say one million?
Yeah, you said one million.
And you?
Of course not.
-A million dollars. Yeah. Shh. Quiet. -Jesus! One million?
I repaired the socket.
Upstairs.
Yeah.
You can go and check.
Hmm? Go. Go see it.
Ahh!
Are you okay?
So you say that…
Piotr hasn't changed a bit since you got the money?
-We argue even less now. -Mmm!
And the other day, he even repaired the socket
that's been broken for months.
-'Course, I was immediately electrocuted-- -Ha!
So he's already started.
-Started what? -The plan to murder you, isn't it obvious?
Come on, Agata!
You know, all that cash can get him a new life, new car, new wife, why not?
Oh, I think that's just a work lunch.
Uh-huh.
-What are you planning? -We need the smoking gun.
The what?
You just need proof.
Wow!
I've always known you wouldn't let me down.
We just have to dot the I's and cross the T's.
Piotruś? Piotruś?
Excuse me?
Oh, right, cross the T's. I have to tell you something.
Because a new chapter in my life is starting now, but, remember,
in a moment this will all be in the past.
And as the say…
-My apologies. -Don't worry, sir.
Now, don't get distracted, what were you trying to tell me?
-Of course. -Uh-huh.
Right, I was thinking one of the things that has always…
Hi, love.
-Piotr. -Natalia?
-Mmm-hmm. -Hey! It's been such a long time!
Right, a really long time, yeah.
I guess that's not a big problem for my husband, right?
Yeah.
-How do you even put up with our Piotruś? -Piotr.
We have to get together sometime. Uh, the three of us. Let's do that.
The three of us.
A barbecue at the house. Let's do that.
-Let's do that. -Great!
I think you spilled something.
Uh, my tab's on you?
Of course it is, my love.
A crisis?
Wow.
Shouldn't you keep it in there a longer?
It's instant rice, of course not.
It works!
A new chapter in my life is starting,
but, remember, you can always count on me.
You still have some old obligations.
In a moment, this will all be in the past,
and, as they say, when the past is obsolete, it must die.
Ha!
-So I was right. -What?
The hairdryer, meeting with his ex-girlfriend.
"The past must die." They have been planning it for ages.
Ages! Please, I've read about this.
Come on. I'm sure they're still together.
Since high school.
No, I mean, they broke up. He wasn't pretending at your wedding.
Then they got back together. I'm sure you can find proof of the affair at home.
Ah, is that so?
Oh, come on! And of a plan of getting you…
Agata.
Piotr would never do anything to hurt me.
What am I supposed to look for?
BENEFICIARY PIOTR MATEUSZ ROZWADOWSKI
-Hey. -Hey!
-What happened? You're late. -Łukasz had a problem.
-What are you doing? -I'm organizing.
My things?
Would you like some help?
No, thanks.
I'm already done. There.
-What's up? -This is crazy, I swear.
It's madness.
I told you.
How much did he insure you for?
Almost a million. He'll get the money after I die.
That's nice.
I'm telling you, it was definitely her idea.
Hmm…
You just have to survive the night.
And to survive the night, you have to be one step ahead.
What do I do now? Should I kill him at night…
or what?
Mmm. Hey, man, you could totally report her to the police.
Report that my wife wants to kill me?
No, you're right. Makes no sense.
But maybe you could star in one of those cool TV shows?
Like those docudramas.
Everybody in this country loves docudramas!
On Sundays, you'd be a hero for everyone home at lunch.
-Leave that thing. -Mmm.
-You could be a hit, dude. -I don't wanna be a hit.
Leave that, it's not yours!
You know, all I do is save people's lives.
By eating their food?
Have you seen the fat it contains?
And when you add the corporate stress, dude?
It's a recipe for a heart attack.
But, listen, docudrama aside, I think you're right.
The police would be a dead end in our case, bro.
Yeah. Pretty much.
I think that knife may not really serve as evidence.
-I don't think so. -You're not supposed to be here.
You are paying for everything you ate, plus every cup of coffee.
I've found the first resort
interested in our project.
So, now,
someone's gotta go right into the mountains.
Of course I'll do it.
Don't you dare say a thing.
Hey, hey, hey! Hey!
I would've slept with her if you hadn't done it in high school.
Didn't you hear? Don't say a thing.
Let me see that.
TWO-PERSON VACATION
Just a second.
Mountains.
A road trip.
We've got a plan.
Piotr?
I couldn't wait any longer.
Are we expecting guests tonight?
Guests?
No. Just you and me.
I'll get ready.
It's weird, you never cook.
There's always gotta be a first time, don't you think?
Oh, that's it! Perfect!
Just how you like it.
Bloody and rare.
Try it. I hope you like it, love.
Nice and rare.
-Aren't you eating, too? -Of course I'll eat.
But before that…
Some fine wine for you, ma'am.
-Hon, you're allergic to wine. -It's for you, I've got a beer.
WEEDDOWN KILLS WEEDS HIGHLY TOXIC
So, a toast. To us.
Oh…
Mmm.
Guess what? I've got a surprise for you.
Isn't the dinner the surprise?
Not the only one.
Don't worry! Don't worry! Don't be scared.
A late anniversary present for you, my love.
Now read it.
The vacation of your dreams.
He's cunning.
A spa is the perfect place for an accident.
What if it is actually just a present?
Yeah, or maybe you're just too naive, Nat. I'm sure it's a trap.
I don't know.
I figured something out to get him off your scent.
-Oh, yeah? What's that? -Are you serious? Sex, obviously.
Don't you know men are that easy?
Hey…
You can't be alone with him in that spa.
What do you mean?
I mean, uh, I'm going with you, but I have no money right now.
So, you know.
I can just pay you back later.
I'll drive today.
You hate driving, Nat.
Piotr. I love driving, hon.
-Since when? -Since today.
-But I'm the safer driver. -The keys.
Ah, did you bring my adrenaline medkit?
Give me a second.
Bogdan!
-Hello, my dear neighbor. -Hi, Bogdan.
Going on vacation?
-Yeah, just one or two days. -Fantastic!
Now, the keys.
Eyes on the road.
-Oh God! Watch out! -Ahh!
Are you trying to kill me?
Or vice versa.
Amazing! I dreamed of starting my vacation pushing suitcases uphill.
I'm the one pushing them.
Listen, do you have a sinister plan of ruining this trip for me
before we even check in?
Ruin it for you how, exactly?
I just wanted to enjoy the view!
Oh, look.
The view is spectacular!
But I'd rather be enjoying this view from our room, you know,
with a delicious cocktail.
And you will! I promise you will!
You'll get all the drinks you want! No skimping this weekend, all right?
And after that?
Oh, just hurry up! You know that's not what I mean!
Watch out!
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
So are you trying to kill me?
Why don't we go to my office, ma'am? This way.
We just want to make sure you enjoy your trip.
-May I help you? -Hello, ma'am.
Uh, Piotr Rozwadowski. I have a reservation.
Hmm.
-With your assistant, or… -With my wife.
-Because the company is only covering-- -Rozwadowski, Piotr.
I reserved the presidential suite.
Ah, the presidential, of course!
-The boss said all-inclusive plan-- -Exactly.
-Uh, we have prepared for you the-- -The room. Thank you, ma'am.
The offer.
For our stay.
Oh! Look what they have there.
-May I have the key now? -Hmm.
Hmm!
A skydiving experience. Would you jump too?
-She's always wanted to jump. -My husband is afraid of heights.
-Ahh! -Not exactly afraid of heights.
That's great! Uh, how long did you say you've been married for?
-Five years. -Five years and five days.
-We plan on dying together. -Who knows what the future will bring?
-Am I right? -You're right.
This trip will be totally different.
You've got that right!
Whoo-hoo!
Hello, everyone!
Who are you?
Uh, Natalia and Piotr, right?
Krystian Blok.
I'm a paramedic, guide, and survival specialist, all in one.
Nice to meet you.
I'm gonna be around for the next few days to take care of you all.
Oh!
But I don't think I'll mind this kind of captivity.
I, uh…
I don't remember asking for a guide.
-No? -Uh, you bought the all-inclusive package.
-And I come with it. -Oh! He comes with it.
Right.
Have a nice rest, 'cause tomorrow, you'll have a beautiful,
but tough little hike.
But my husband is not a big fan of hiking. I mean--
-Who says I'm not a big fan? -What about all your allergies?
-I don't mind the allergies. -Ah, well, you can't miss that.
Uh, the beauty of nature, and… and the effort, right?
Too bad. We'll figure it out.
But, for now, I've gotta run.
He thinks that he's Janosik.
Get over yourself. Janosik was Slovak, babe.
Oh.
So are you sure? You're really doing it?
I didn't pay for this trip to cancel things.
She planned it all well.
You'll go together, but you won't be coming back.
So he supposedly booked hiking by mistake?
It's a package, he wanted to cancel.
He didn't, though.
But she didn't know about the trip.
I bet she knew about it and planned everything before coming here.
Everyone knows the mountains are a great spot for accidents.
Phone call, recording, insurance, lover, boss, murder.
-I'll come with you, be your shadow. -You're not going.
Obviously, I've got to be there, but we've gotta be smart.
He knows me very well. Plus, he'll see right through us.
I'm thinking that we need a good plan.
You know what? I think you better stay away from the bar.
Friendly reminder, don't teach me how to conspire. Bye.
Attention, everyone.
It's time for the ladies to ask the gentlemen to dance…
Six shots.
Six?
My lucky number is six.
Really?
That's funny.
Mine is twelve.
I'm sorry, change of plan. Twelve shots.
Accurate and complementary.
I've got something to show you. Give me a sec.
Six, twelve.
Ooh.
Hold your horses, cowboy.
No way!
If I believed in fate, which is idiotic, I might even say that this…
this was fate.
Hmm.
What can I do to make you think it really is?
There's no chance.
Don't forget, 12-06. It's for you.
"Accurate and complementary."
Welcome to dance!
-Thanks for walking me to my room. -Anytime.
-I guess this is… -This is good night?
Good night.
It was awesome.
You know what I think?
That it was even better than awesome.
Ah!
So…
would you…
like to do this again some other day?
I'd like that.
Łukasz, you idiot!
Very well. Now, sit down everyone, please. Right.
Oh, thank you.
Unfortunately, last year we had lightning strikes,
missing people, and frostbite.
And avalanches?
I've heard avalanches are fatal
Not always. Gotta stay alert, though.
Even in summer?
During summer you get rockfalls.
What a crowd pleaser.
Silence.
Now, listen, guys.
This forest is full of very dangerous wild animals,
such as bears, wolves, moose…
Give me a break.
-And also… -Berries, sweetie?
-Mmm-hmm. -A variety of dangerous plants and weeds.
Like the jimsonweed. Well…
jimsonweed and sorrel are easily confused, but one even more dangerous,
poisonous nightshade!
After eating just ten berries of nightshade,
hallucinations, loss of consciousness, high fever, kaput.
Congratulations!
You almost killed your wife.
Jesus…
And this one?
Save your energy, everyone!
You'll need it for the rest of the activities!
-Oh! Like what? -Just wait, all in due time.
Oh God, I love surprises!
She'll hate them once she's been married for ten years.
And, oh, remember, this rule's essential!
Don't wander around.
And don't make any stops, unless you ask me first, you understand?
Yes, yes!
Were you also dragged here by your wife?
"A trip would be really good for you, hon!"
-Mmm. -It'll give me a stroke!
First, they take all of our freedom…
And eventually take our whole life away from us.
Don't be dramatic.
Come on, mine's just waiting to tap-dance on my grave, man!
Yours too!
Put on your sunglasses! Come on! Keep the pace up, boys!
The ladies are putting you to shame.
We'll climb in pairs.
The person below will watch over the person above.
It's all about trust.
The mountain builds a strong bond between the climbers.
It strengthens trust.
Or reveals the untrustworthy.
Well, yeah.
Who goes first?
Oh, no, no. Definitely not me.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
-Me. Yeah. -You?
Then get up here!
You'll be spotting me the whole time.
Of course I will.
We'll see about that. Kill me in front of them.
All right, calm down.
Make sure to always have two security points.
Don't worry, love, I got you!
Oh, wow.
Try your left. A bit…
A bit to the left, babe. It may make it easier.
Ugh.
Wow!
Whoa!
I gotcha. You're fine.
I asked you a thousand times to stop following us!
-That could have ended in tragedy! -Shh! Just sit down.
Hmm?
-Did it, though? It didn't, right? -Ugh.
Remember, we're not here to play mountaineers,
but to execute our plan.
Dude, what plan? We haven't come up with any plan at all!
Shh.
What did you think? That I'd sit here twiddling my thumbs all day?
-Natalia's not trying to kill me. -Isn't she?
What about this activity she wants?
No, that's not-- No. Kinda.
Skydiving is dangerous.
Piotruś, my friend, that's precisely her plan!
Luckily, we have our own. Listen to me closely. Pay attention.
Invite her to a nice dinner tonight.
-But she doesn't speak to me anymore. -Let me finish!
Tell her
it's an apology dinner.
She can't say no, man.
And during dinner,
you just give her enough alcohol to get her hammered,
make sure she can't even walk straight.
You want me to get her wasted as an apology?
In the meantime, I'll break into your hotel room--
The hotel has a hundred cameras!
Man, you have no faith in me whatsoever.
I'll break into your room
and spill lotion.
I will do it in the bathroom so it gets slippery.
She comes into the bathroom, and she's still so drunk…
Six feet under.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, I'm not loving this oil.
-I'll get you another. -Ooh, thanks.
Thanks!
Make it two!
Thank you.
What now? You mentioned Piotr is allergic?
Mmm-hmm.
To all the things I love.
-Wine, so naturally to grapes too. -God, I'd kill myself.
Life would have no meaning.
We're actually doing the guy a favor, don't you think?
Almonds as well.
Ah!
Almonds work.
Perfect, almonds are great!
Uh, okay.
You'll take him out to dinner
and make him order some pasta.
Pasta and almonds? Come on.
With garlic, dummy!
Because sliced almonds look like sliced garlic.
I read about that online, never mind.
Just get your husband to ask for pasta.
That sounds great, but who'd switch them for me?
The chef.
Or maybe the server can do it.
The chefs are hot, and I can deal with a hot guy anytime.
Let's say you get to switch out the garlic for almonds,
and that Piotr does order the pasta,
someone could have a medkit with adrenaline.
Actually, we brought a medkit with adrenaline.
Bring the syringe,
so you can just fake the injection.
-Shall we order champagne? -You know that I'm allergic.
I think moonshine sounds like a good way to go tonight.
-You want moonshine during dinner? -Why not?
I'm gonna order two bottles to start.
I'm not having two bottles of moonshine, Piotr.
For both of us!
We can do it!
Good evening, ma'am.
Can we please order the pasta?
Actually, we're in the mountains. The trout is incredible here.
And the chef's specialty is pasta, hon. For both of us.
Uh, may I recommend
the tagliatelle with black truffle and sliced garlic?
-I'll stick with the trout. -That's it, the one with garlic.
Amazing, my husband loves pasta. Thank you, ma'am.
-And two bottles of moonshine, please. -Mmm-hmm.
Thank you.
I can't wait for you to show me all the nooks and crannies of your kitchen.
-Mmm-hmm? -Uh-huh.
Luca, stop pretending you're the chef here.
The dishes are waiting.
But he's the--
What, did he tell you he was the chef here?
Poor girl!
Whoo!
-How about another one? -Maybe after we eat.
Let's not waste time.
Ah! Come on, babe, try it. I'm sure you're gonna love it.
First, a toast.
-Let's eat. -To us.
ADRENALINE
Mmm!
-It's amazing! -Mmm-hmm!
Have some more garlic. It's delicious.
Mmm-hmm.
Try mine.
-But I do have-- -Just try it! Ah!
Oh, thank you. I don't want-- Uh, no. No, thank you.
Mmm.
Mmm!
Mmm, yup.
How is it?
Delicious.
-Taste it? -What?
Sorry.
It must be the garlic.
Can you--
Oh, my God, he's choking!
-Piotr! -Somebody help him!
Don't worry, love. I'll save you.
What?
Give me a pat on the back.
It was just stuck in my throat.
You could have killed me with that shot.
-I wouldn't do that. -Well, it's--
I'm your girl. No, sir.
Mmm, you're right. How could you know that was gonna happen?
There's no way I could've known you were gonna choke during dinner.
Right.
Babe, maybe it's not a good moment, but…
I feel like we need to talk about our current situation.
We need to fix this, and, uh…
What are you doing, love?
Ahh! Mosquitoes!
What?
-I'm sorry, hon. -Huh?
-I forgot the ice at the restaurant. -Ice for--
-For the room. -We've got ice.
We need a lot for the drinks.
-A lot of drinks, a lot of ice. -Right.
Wait for me, okay?
-But not here, cutie, in the room. Go, go. -Are you sure, sweetie?
-Mmm-hmm. -Okay, uh, see you there.
Jesus. You drank too much.
So? It's the stress.
I'm really stressed, okay, Mom?
Whatever. Whatever, let's move on to Plan B.
So, skydiving is tomorrow, I'll sign you both up. Before the jump…
I'll cut the lines of the parachute.
If the parachute fails, then I'll be dead along with Piotr.
What? Of course not! You'll back out at the last second.
Then, Piotr jumps into the sky, and…
-I bet you won't cut the lines. -I will.
Mmm-hmm? Like you switched the garlic? How dramatic.
Geez…
Ugh, you reek!
That's what the saint said!
I'm all right. I'll manage. I'll manage.
What a mess.
-Is your wife drunk? -Yeah.
Listen, I want out, okay?
She thought I had an allergic reaction
and she didn't hesitate to give me the adrenaline shot.
Do you really think she would do that if she wanted to kill me? Huh?
Now, tell me, would she?
So she rushed in, but she didn't actually help you?
She was a fraction of a second from doing it!
And if she knew it wasn't a reaction,
and gave you the shot, could…
could that kill you?
Tell me, would you be dead?
It's possible, yeah.
There you go! So, here's the plan.
Once she slips in the bathroom, if she's still alive,
you hit her in the head with a shampoo bottle.
We need to get rid of her tonight, do you hear me?
That's what we'll do.
Come on!
Agata?
We'll do it tomorrow.
That's my clever girl. You changed your mind because…
-Because he's not alone! -Oh!
-He's with that chick we saw? I knew it! -Ugh! No, he's with a friend!
A loser, Łukasz.
Soccer fan without a job and wannabe rock star.
A half-bald blond with a beer belly and an idiotic look?
How do you know?
Never mind. I'll book the jump for tomorrow, okay?
So where's the ice?
It melted, sorry.
I'm gonna take a shower.
I'll break into your room and spill lotion.
I'll do it in the bathroom so it gets slippery.
No! No, no, wait! Wait, me first! Sorry!
Uh, can you give me a moment? I've gotta use the, uh…
Whoa!
Ow.
Ow!
Have I told you
that there is a very good chance you…
are actually the love of my life?
Then tell me…
what are you really doing here?
You know, I'm the love of your life, so I think I should know these things.
Right?
I'm protecting a friend.
Uh-huh?
From what exactly?
From an unspeakable mortal danger.
Although it'll all end soon.
Hmm.
And where?
In the sauna.
Again, honey?
The sauna.
Łukasz…
SMS - Sauna. Tomorrow. Those idiots will kill each other.
-Thank you, enjoy. -Thank you.
Thanks, ma'am.
You know what?
-I was thinking maybe we could go to, uh-- -The sauna?
Maybe the sauna's not the best idea.
You, me, naked, steam, our bodies covered in beads of sweat.
Is there anything better?
Unless you don't want to.
One second and I'll be ready.
SMS - Going to the sauna, please do nothing. I'm calling it off.
I'll go get some water for the stones.
But there are no stones here.
I'll get some anyway.
Okay…
I was worried it wasn't you.
-I'm so happy that it's you. Oh, my God. -Yeah.
So Piotr stayed in there?
Boiled in that sauna by his own idiot friend.
Geez, and that means he…
actually wanted to kill you.
I'm in shock, you're in shock, we both are.
It has just all become too real. I'm here to help you, dude.
Wine, vodka, champagne?
Mmm…
That's bad.
Oh, my God.
I told you, you moron, that I wanted to completely call it off.
Piotruś, buddy, you didn't tell me anything.
What are you talking about I didn't?
I mean, I sent you message in a text.
It's fine. Never mind.
No more of your stupid ideas and no more Plan Bs.
Got it?
Of course!
Thank you.
Thanks.
God, I'd love to buy you a drink.
It's just that my wife might get jealous.
Your allergy?
To stupidity.
My own.
If it was an allergen, you'd be in hives from head to toe.
-But listen, I-- -No.
No.
Can we pretend we're strangers meeting for the first time at a bar?
-Natalia. -I'm Piotr.
I was wondering if I can buy you a drink?
I thought you had a jealous wife?
-My wife trusts me, you know? -Hmm.
Your wife is either a complete idiot or madly in love, Piotr.
Hello, guys!
Isn't it nice to see the people who just recently almost murdered each other?
I'm sorry.
Have a drink with us.
Mmm! Did you say five years?
Basically, we've been together for eight years and…
…three months, yeah.
Oh!
Oh, my God, but how old are you?
I'm keeping it a secret.
I gotta confess that you look great.
Thanks.
If you wanted to improve something, maybe just--
What?
No idea.
Nose? Maybe?
Huh?
No, breasts.
Natalia doesn't need to improve anything.
No, of course not. You know, it's just that…
Uh, Sylwia works in a… I'm sorry, what's it called?
-I work in a med spa, Krystian. -That's right. Yeah.
If you want, I can get you a big discount.
Well, obviously, if your husband wants to save some dollars…
-I can totally see the cheapskate in you! -You're wrong, I wouldn't skimp on her.
-It's just-- -Just what?
-That I love you exactly the way you are. -Hmm.
You look radiant, natural, and beautiful.
Oh, just like that.
That's why I love you.
Stingy.
No, he's not stingy at all.
I think he's just frugal.
And I like you just like that.
So sweet…
I was being honest.
Throughout this whole trip, I've been acting like an idiot.
It's not like I treated you any better.
Maybe we should forget everything
and spend the rest of this trip enjoying each other.
Oh my God.
This is part of the spa's property.
Beautiful place.
CABIN FOR RENT
It's our style.
We could spend the rest of our lives right here.
Come.
We were expecting cash, night clubs…
The Maldives or the Philippines.
Happiness and a great life together.
Yeah, the same thing with Piotr.
You know, night clubs, Maldives, Philippines as well…
We were gonna do all that, plus… my new album.
Just thin air.
They had to make it right.
You think they…
still love each other?
Oh, my dear Łukasz, if I had that kind of money,
I'm sure I'd be able to afford love too.
Hmm.
Ha-ha!
Ah! Łukasz…
Mmm…
Up early?
It's just that I missed you, love.
I know. I missed you too.
Is it early or late?
Around noon, I guess.
-I've prepared a surprise for you. -Mmm-hmm?
I'll get you a cup of coffee.
Just the way you love it.
Stay here and don't you dare move.
Not planning it.
-Hello, good morning. -Hello, ma'am.
I'm calling about the cabin you reserved for today.
The Green Cabin will be ready for you at noon.
Your husband insisted. We'll send a notification via text.
Thanks, ma'am. I'll let him know. Goodbye.
Man.
DAGMARA - Remember our plan. We're together. You're the best.
Actually, I don't get it.
How did we let them get us wrapped in this madness?
Yeah, seriously.
They should be in love, not trying to kill each other to keep the inheritance.
I mean, his own wife and supposed love of his life--
Oh boy! Oh!
I don't think I've tried to hurt someone before.
Me neither.
Honey?
I'm sorry it took me so long,
but I bought you a sweet treat with your coffee.
Where is she?
Natalia?
THE MONEY IS YOURS. I DON'T WANT IT. SAY HI TO DAGMARA.
What the hell?
DAGMARA - Remember our plan. We're together. You're the best.
Ow!
Mmm.
What is that?
Leaves. Sorrel weed.
Mmm?
-Hmm. -My childhood in a leaf.
Aw.
I used to stuff myself with sorrel as a kid.
-I did that too. -Mmm.
Give me more.
Hey, dude!
I waited for you for an hour at the airfield!
-Skydiving session! -I didn't book it.
Ah, wow. Whatever.
-Natalia was right, you're chickening out. -"Chickening out"? I just--
You don't like the same things she does, I know that. I'm not judging you.
It's none of my business and not my problem.
Krystian, wait!
I'm in.
Fantastic, then!
Come on.
It's kinda big for a sorrel weed.
Well, because it's…
mountain sorrel.
Ah.
The plant's got seeds.
Don't they all have seeds?
What were you saying?
Piotruś and Natalia were just using us.
I haven't said that.
-And for that they have to pay! -Did I say that, man?
They threw us away like trash.
Yeah, they took our money, and dreams, and future too.
-Ugh, they were so cruel. -It was such an awesome plan!
It still is.
Okay, what's going on?
Wow, dude! I see you guys couldn't wait any longer, right?
What a big surprise!
What are you talking about?
You came to finish what you started at school.
-Uh, I still don't understand. -Be my guest, in fact, I'll help you.
Run me over!
Now. Go.
Should I lie on the floor and make it easier? No problem!
-So? -Hey, Natalia?
There are no witnesses around. Don't worry, nobody will see this.
Just hurry! Now, pedal to the metal!
Are you backing out?
Are you really backing out now? Come on! Let's deal with this as two grown-ups.
Get in your car and floor it. And don't look back, keep driving!
Natalia, where's Piotruś?
I believe he's waiting for you at that beautiful Green Cabin,
and I'm sure you'll love it as much as I did.
You seriously think that I…
Oh my God, that's why he sent me that message!
Busted!
Tell me the truth.
He texted because he wanted to quit to spend more quality time with you.
We were just about to start a new project, but he resigned.
Listen, dude, I'm here to talk him out of it and beg him to stay.
Yet, apparently, our high school years are back!
Oh, your head, watch out!
You know, I'd be lying if I said you didn't impress me.
-Can we wait a bit for Natalia? -We can.
But not long. Turn around.
Leg up.
Mmm-hmm.
-Now put your hands behind like a jacket. -Uh-huh.
Okay. We're flying at an altitude of 13,000.
-Say what? -Thirteen thousand feet.
Okay.
Haven't I told you I'm not afraid?
My man.
You will rush down at 120 miles per hour into Mother Earth's bosom.
Only an idiot wouldn't be afraid.
-Can I hug ya? -Mmm-hmm.
My second marriage fell apart precisely due to a lack of communication.
Yeah, I'm not letting my first marriage fall apart for being an idiot.
Excuse me.
-Shouldn't you be at the airfield? -I'm sorry, what airfield?
Mmm, your husband left already. You booked a skydiving session.
My God. Agata.
Agata?
If she…
Where's the airfield?
Piotr!
No! No! No!
Piotr…
Wow!
Go, go, go! Go!
You survived.
Yeah. Definitely.
You're back.
If only you could skydive the way you kiss, bro…
-Good evening. -Oh, hi. Good evening, sir.
-Have you come to visit our guests? -Mmm-hmm!
-But they changed their room. -What?
Mmm-hmm.
Where are they?
You didn't hear it from me, but they're in the cabin.
Perfect!
Perfect.
-It's empty. -No shit.
Yes, shit.
FIREFIGHTING EQUIPMENT
You've always been there for me.
I kinda forgot that.
"Kinda"?
You're right.
Mmm…
Nothing makes sense without you.
-Geez, I'm so tired. -Me too, exhausted.
-Is it bedtime? -Exactly.
-I'm not showering. -Ew.
Who's there?
-Someone from the resort? -It's too late.
Even for room service.
I'll go.
-I'll come with you. -No. You'd better wait here.
-We will call if you don't leave! -Call who?
Uh, we'll call someone!
Wait here.
-Quickly! Come! -Where are you going?
-Watch out! -Shh!
Łukasz?
Agata, what are you doing here with Łukasz? I mean…
We're here because we want what's owed to us.
-Have you lost your mind? -Have I lost my mind?
No, I haven't lost my mind.
-That money is… -Ours!
Łukasz, stop it!
-Hey! -Come back!
Ahh! Whoa!
-Hurry, hurry, hurry! -Why is that woman here?
Let's just say their intentions are the same.
-He's a total wacko! -As is she.
But we've got good intentions, dear friends!
We've got good intentions, dear friends!
Łukasz!
Ahh! Money!
-Łukasz, just stop it! Calm down! -Come out!
Hmm?
What's going on, Łukasz?
Let's talk about this, man!
-Łukasz! Łukasz, please, talk to me! -What for?
You were gonna kill each other, anyway. We're just making it easier for you.
-Łukasz, all I want is to talk to you! -Don't tell my man what to do.
Agata, what happened? You can't do this to me!
What do you mean? But I can. You two are so dramatic.
It's just so boring. We need one of you to give us our money.
Am I right?
About what?
The cash!
Of course!
-Come on. -Łukasz, brother, what's the deal?
If you don't give us the freakin' money,
I'm gonna have to make fajitas out of your wife!
-Łukasz! Stop it now! -Time's running out, guys.
-Tick-tock. Tick-tock. -So?
-Please stop! Łukasz! -What's going on?
-So? So? -Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock.
-Come on! -Tick-tock!
Boom!
Let's get the fascists!
Come on!
Łukasz?
No! I'm gonna kill both of you!
Natalia!
Ahh!
-Let go of me! -I will take you with me!
Take my hand, my love! Take my hand!
Come on!
There you go! Good!
I got you. I got you. I won't let go.
-Oh, God! -Please wait a second.
-Let's check if they're alive. -They're not moving.
We won't leave them. I'm gonna call Krystian.
Bogdan.
-Please, sir, don't cross the tape. -This man has-- What?
The guy cleared out all the safes he installed, the whole neighborhood.
He's been wanted for a year.
He seemed weird to me the second I saw him.
I mean, you could say they were very lucky.
Oh! My Patrycja! Excuse me.
Have you counted the dead? Joking, you know me.
The jimsonweed couple?
Witches!
Witches thought they could fly after eating this weed.
Follow me.
But the landings were not that good either.
And when they brought these two in, they were totally high, trust me.
Come in, come in.
Good morning!
You've got visitors!
I'll leave you to it.
Piotruś?
Natalia.
You didn't have come, but still you're here.
Natalia, I… I…
Listen, that wasn't me.
Yeah.
It was that hideous weed, I swear.
Please, I didn't even cut the lines.
-I'm not that crazy, right? -Listen, guys.
How can we make it up to you? We want to stay friends with you!
No…
Ow, ow, ow.
MINT AND ICING
I don't know how you can eat that much.
Oh, I know a few tricks.
-Anything else? -Uh-uh.
-That'll be all. -Are you absolutely sure?
For today's lunch, we have a delicious cucumber soup.
-The chef has spectacular taste. -Tomorrow.
-The boss is really tired. -I get it. It's a big anniversary.
The sixth, then the seventh, and then the 66th.
But we intend to go all the way to the 666th anniversary.
Yeah, right.
Of course, yeah. Ha.
I know you two!
My sweet friends, I've got a new special scratch card for you.
A nice limited edition, The Unicorn of Diamonds.
-No. -It's pricey, but it's worth it.
-I promise! Trips, villas, trust me! -We wouldn't wish that on anyone.
-See ya! -Bye!