THE PARLOUR RESTAURANT
Dear comrades,
I'm pleased we've finally come together
to organise the anti-imperialist counter-attack in concrete terms.
It must be the goal of our collective
to activate the organisational structures of Operation Ludsch.
To implement them on West German territory
and so bringing about the annexation of the Federal Republic to the GDR.
And we've started making contact with our comrades in West Germany.
Very good.
Comrade Rossbach,
with all due respect,
negotiations between the Americans and Gorbachev seem to be heading
towards a reconciliation.
In a few days' time, the Federal Republic will push through the monetary union,
and our people are celebrating that fact.
You really think our plans are realistic in these circumstances?
We won't have a monetary union.
The Comrade Minister is in direct contact with the new KGB leadership.
We have in our hand something that will allow us to get
what we want from America.
Cool. That's really cool.
Comrades.
Unfortunately…
there's a serious problem.
We don't have anything we can use against the Americans.
We didn't get the pact.
RED FRONT ERNST THÄLMANN
Wow. Listen to this.
"With immediate effect, both East and West Germans will be able
to cross the border without hindrance wherever and whenever they choose."
-Is that today's paper? -Uh… Yeah.
That's good.
-What's good? -The pact isn't where they want it yet.
So it's not too late to intercept it. Have a look.
There's absolutely nothing here.
No dead drop. No Ludsch.
No pact. Nothing.
Maybe Kimberly lied to us. She lied to us, huh?
-There's nothing here? -Nothing!
Listen, comrade.
What about that woman over there with the bike, hmm?
Or the two city cleaners there?
What about the man with the binoculars? Do you see him?
Fourth balcony from the top. Left-hand side.
Fuck!
Are they all Stasi?
Operative forces protecting the dead drop.
But how did you…
You're really good at this, huh?
There, look. That's it. The drop is in that bin.
Shit, he dumped something in it. That's the drop, isn't it?
He's marked it.
We get out, huh?
Wait.
No.
Jutta?
Your old workmate Jutta? That Jutta?
That Jutta.
-She's part of Ludsch? -Get down.
She's part of Ludsch.
And she knows where the Reagan-Honecker Pact is.
Right then. Follow her!
As ordered!
Are you happy?
It's a fine vehicle.
You've done well, tovarich.
So what do we do with this thing?
Yesterday, Mike, I ran over a kitty cat.
-Do you know what the stupid thing did? -Mm-hmm?
Picks itself back up as if nothing is wrong.
-And do you know who else is like that? -Who?
Kleo. She has nine lives just like an old cat.
And to wipe her out, I need that.
I'm just waiting for the order.
From the top.
THE PARLOUR
-The Parlour? -Do you know it?
Yeah. Jutta and I used to come here after work.
Okay, what's the plan?
-I'm going in. -What? No. Again?
You can't just glide by,
and then poke your head into a potentially dangerous situation
on your own, without a plan, and that it'll be fine.
How else, Sven, are we supposed to get the documents?
Uh, I don't fuckin'…
-I'll come with you. -No way, Sven.
If you come with me, Jutta won't say a word.
Okay. You don't shoot that.
No spraying bullets!
Okay.
Happy now?
So…
I'll take this with me,
and you listen in.
And only if I say "egg liqueur", do you come in, understood?
-Yeah. Egg liqueur. -Good.
Hi, Jutta.
-Kleo. -Hmm.
Nice of you to turn up here.
Yeah.
-A beer and a schnapps. -Coming right up.
Hey, absolutely nothing has changed here.
Yeah, well… Now there are two beers on tap, and not just one.
-But no more lard sandwiches, huh? -Yeah, that's right.
-No lard sandwiches. -Enjoy your drinks.
Cheers, Jutti.
Um, cheers, Kleo.
Mmm.
They were great times back then at Sternradio, weren't they, right?
They were, yeah.
But if I'd known that you'd vowed
to be a full-time informant, we could have had very different conversations.
Kleo.
Okay. But I've not come here to talk to you about the past, have I?
I'm interested in something else.
What's that?
I'm interested in what's in the envelope.
-What envelope? -This one.
I know you're part of Ludsch.
I know this is your headquarters and this… Ooh!
Oh.
…is your pay for operating the dead drop at the monument.
I'm also aware you know where the Reagan-Honecker Pact is, so…
Kleo, I think you'd better go now.
-Leave, Kleo. -Mmm.
Hmm.
Kleo, you're being foolish!
That's enough chat, Comrade Straub.
You never knew when to stop back then either.
Always stepping out of line.
Well, well.
All of you back here again.
I suggest we have a round of egg liqueur here.
It has a calming effect.
Go in.
What for?
-Sorry! -Are you stupid?
Hello!
A very good afternoon.
Uh…
-We can settle this the easy way. -Really?
You telling us where the pact is?
Long live socialism.
Oh, no.
Look how it escalated.
You know him?
Yeah.
Rossbach.
My instructor.
He was always an idiot. But for him to die is a shame.
Yeah. Well, he doesn't count.
You tried to do things peacefully…
and I'm proud of you.
Jutta, wake up!
-Where's the pact? Who has it? -Uh…
Jutta, this one is loaded, so you'd better talk.
-Uh, we don't have the pact. -Why don't you have it?
It was all going to plan.
Our comrade from the American embassy
left the bag containing the pact at the dead drop as planned.
But when I arrived, the thing wasn't there.
Bag gone, pact gone. Nothing.
Vanished. Someone screwed us over.
Who was it who screwed you?
If only I knew.
The operation is top secret.
It's all on a need-to-know basis. No one knows the whole plan.
For fuck's sake, who created the plan? Fucking who's behind Ludsch?
Okay, okay, okay.
The Comrade Colonel General.
Your grandpa.
Yeah.
Ludsch was Otto's plan.
His idea for eternity.
Grandpa died.
Hey, fish stick.
What's wrong with you today?
It's Ciana.
She may not be my princess.
She's a secret agent.
But from the West. The CIA.
-What makes you think that? -Well, "Ciana".
C-I-A.
Three, nine, one. 13. Sum of the digits, four.
And that computer game? Quattuor Saxa.
Four blocks. Four. Don't you get it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it, sure.
But CIA.
Don't you think that's a tad far-fetched?
I mean, maybe she was named after Leonarda Cianciulli.
-The Soap-Maker of Correggio. -The what?
The Italian serial murderer.
She chopped her victims up with an axe and made soap out of them.
And cookies.
-Cookies? -Cookies.
A murderer?
Ah, yeah.
Or it's just that they write "Ciana" on Sirius B with a C and not with a K,
and all that's on you.
And CIA with a big C is in your head.
Ah.
-You think so? -Yeah, I do.
Hey, Thilo, I've seen you together.
This is true love.
At least, that's how I imagine it.
Yeah, Dopi. You're right.
-It's true love. -Yeah.
I can feel it.
It's so cool.
Hey, you know what?
I'll show you how to roll a real tulip joint.
Huh? Ey?
Yeah?
-A tulip? -Yeah.
Admit it.
At the end of the day,
isn't it just cool to be working as a team again?
I mean, okay, you did most of the hard work, but I think it's great.
We still don't know where this pact is or who's got it.
Wow. Okay.
Your glass is, well… always half-empty, huh?
Right now, I need something to eat, a shower, and a few hours' sleep.
Okay, I'll cook for you. I'll make a Bolognese or a Strammer Max sandwich.
Although no doubt you call it a Strammer Marx!
Holger.
I've been waiting for you.
Wow, he's been waiting for you.
Oh, hi. I'm Holger.
Okay, and where's the bus?
What bus?
The bus for people who give a shit, Holger.
-Sven! -What?
What?
You'd better go now.
Uh… Wait, Kleo.
-Hey. -Come in.
Wait. That… That's not right.
Kleo, that's not cool. If…
We… We're a team and you can't… And he just comes…
Holger.
What's going on with you, Kleo?
What was the call from Belgrade about, asking if I was with the CIA?
Or the guy who came to my apartment
and threatened me with a gun, and wanted to know where you were?
Kleo?
I can't recognize you.
Yeah, you want to know why?
Mmm.
Because I'm no longer the Kleo I was back then, Holger.
Yeah, okay, then…
we can get to know each other all over again, right?
Hello, I'm Holger.
And I'm Kleo.
Former full-time informant for the Stasi Reconnaissance Division 18,
Task Force for the Special Issues at the ministry.
I killed people for the Firm, lots of people.
They were shot, poisoned, I blew them up, and so on.
I was put in prison and I was betrayed by every person
I thought I could trust in the world, without exception.
And the last thing I need is someone like you around me, okay?
Someone who makes me vulnerable.
Okay.
And what if we took up from where we were before this all happened?
If the two of us just get on my Simson
and catch up on our weekend by the Oder?
Just drive away.
And leave all the other stuff behind.
That's a nice idea.
Hmm.
But it won't work.
Too much has happened
and there's too much at stake.
I'm sorry, Holger.
But that's just the way it is.
BLAGOYE NEAR MOSCOW USSR
Nikolai.
Dear Mama.
How are you?
Couldn't be better.
Sit down, sit!
-Some tea? -Thank you.
So you finally made it to the top, ey?
I'm quite proud of you.
What's eating you, then?
She's still stirring up dirt.
-We have dead comrades in Berlin. -Mmm.
The little girl?
Mmm.
Give me that.
She'll show up soon.
You've got to do all you can to prevent her coming here.
She cannot have the pact.
Do you understand me?
Yeah.
-Mama. -Hmm. Hmm.
When will you be finished?
I need to have a pee soon.
You need to shut up.
Hi, Uwe.
Fucking piss-fucker!
What are you doing here, Jutta? We didn't arrange to meet.
Kleo Straub wouldn't let up.
We have two dead comrades in The Parlour. So, therefore, Comrade Honecker…
-Comrade Minister. -Uh, yeah.
She has let it be known that there are new orders from Comrade Zhukov in Moscow.
A slight change of plan, therefore.
-Uwe? -What? Another change of plan?
-Uwe? -What is it?
Uh, would you happen to have something I could cover myself up with?
We're wasting time here.
-What are you saying? -Here. A new target.
-Mmm. -Really?
Yo, Freddy. Want to go to the cinema?
Dances with Wolves is on.
Oh.
We need to talk, Sven.
Okay.
Listen, Sven, I've been thinking.
It's been bad.
We don't work as a couple.
As parents, however,
we're great.
We have a great son.
We're doing a good job.
No.
You.
You're doing a good job. I'm just…
not a good father.
-And I'm sorry, uh… It… -Sven.
You know, something just…
Just exploded into my life, and I'm so obsessed with it.
Kleo and…
Just tell her, Sven.
Who? Maybe…
Kleo.
You're in love with her.
Okay, um…
Jenny, I'm so sorry about the way it all happened. I'm…
I'm sorry.
Take care.
Um… Could I have that?
Sure.
Hey.
Is, uh… Holger still here?
No.
Cool.
Can I come in?
-Yeah. -Thanks.
Been thrown out of some place again?
Yeah, but I brought some beer.
Yeah.
Hold on a second.
I want to tell you something, okay?
And I've no idea if…
Not… not because I can…
You know, just because thinking about it, if I hope that…
-And yet just because… -What the fuck do you want?
I've no idea. Uh…
Uh… Can I, uh…
sleep on the sofa, yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah, that…
Uh…
Why, Sven?
Look here, a tulip.
For you.
Oh, cool.
-You know I thought for a brief moment? -Um, no. What?
That you were a CIA agent. Weird, huh?
Good morning.
Hey, Kleo. All right?
Did you bring me anything from Yugoslavia?
Oh, no. I forgot.
What's that?
Nothing.
"Your kiss, your kiss So hot like a shot"
-What's all this? -Just a verse.
What kind of verse?
For Comrade Jutta.
Look, you're really starting to get on my nerves
with your feelings.
Right.
In front of a supermarket.
We just took it.
Cool, right?
Shit.
Get up, you idiot.
-My leg's gone to sleep. -Come on, you idiot.
Okay. Okay.
Breakfast?
Hard or soft-boiled eggs?
-Soft. -Soft.
We both said "soft", yeah?
We're swaying in cosmic harmony.
Cool, right?
Shit.
Man!
Shitter!
Ugh!
Good morning, Kleo.
Pjotr…
Good to see you.
What are you doing here?
You were right.
I know.
Uwe has Sven.
The pig.
They're going to the power plant. It's a trap.
Spasiba, comrade.
The purple witch is part of it too.
Ah.
-Kleo! -Huh?
And the money?
You'll get it next time, yeah?
Whoa.
Sven was kidnapped.
Where's Rose Carmichael?
-What's that? -Your colleague or superior or whatever.
-Huh? -You're in the CIA.
No, Kleo.
I thought so too at first.
She isn't, though.
That's right.
I'm not.
-Okay. -Whoa!
She's an assassin.
She'll kill you.
Well?
Okay, all right. I was just told to watch you.
You're in the CIA?
Thilo, it was one mission, but I, uh…
-You could've told me. -I warned you about her.
-You're right. -Well then, hmm?
Where is Rose Carmichael?
Hotel Tegel.
You're coming with me.
I'm gonna get dressed.
Thilo, I'm sorry.
Please. It's not what I wanted.
-They forced me. -Yeah.
What do we do now then?
We do nothing at all.
It's not possible if it doesn't exist any more.
If you're not you, then there's no "we" either,
there's only you and I.
But, Thilo, it was a mission and I never wanted to…
No, you should be going now.
But you were about to go.
If I go too, we'll leave at the same time.
Yeah, of course.
That's an error.
I'll go then.
Sit down. Give me your hands!
What's with all these clocks here?
Different time zones.
For God's sake, hurry up, Mike.
-Can you do anything right? -It's a bit fiddly.
And now?
Now nothing.
Wait till the old girl's here, then we'll see.
Flash git.
Kleo Straub.
What a surprise.
I require your help.
Hell yeah!
-Sven was kidnapped by Ludsch. -Tell me something new.
Does that mean you've got a double agent with Ludsch?
Mmm.
You know this is a trap, don't you? Hmm?
Yeah. That's why I need your help.
I can't go there alone.
You've got him there.
I'm not sure he's the answer.
Hmm.
Let's say I help you.
What's in it for me?
I'd owe you a favour?
Really?
Oh, lucky me!
But no.
All right then.
Good luck.
Thilo? I need you.
But it could be dangerous.
Well, my life has no more meaning.
And if I die now, it's okay.
Okay. You drive.
Here she comes.
You operate the crane. I'll blow her away.
Okay.
Shit, that's not her.
It's her moronic housemate again.
She's up to something.
Oh, really? There she is!
-The cunt thinks she can deceive us. -What now?
Get out of there.
Out! Keep going! Get down.
On the ground!
Lie down.
With your head towards me!
Hmm?
-Like this? -Yeah, head down.
Right down!
Hey, Uwe.
You really fall for that trick every time, yeah? Drop the gun.
Go.
Move.
-Chop-chop! -Okay.
Chop-chop-chop, chop quick gallop!
-There. -Kleo, all right?
-Uwe. -Drop it.
Don't do it, Mike!
-Ah, but… -No buts.
Just shoot. That's an order.
-Go on. -All right.
-Wait, wait. -Lift the weapon back up.
I've had enough of you already, man! Really!
I can't do it, Uwe.
We're friends.
Aw.
You're friends.
Over there!
Where's Sven?
In there.
Thilo? Come here.
Pick up the weapon and keep an eye on them.
Whoa!
Go on.
If they do anything stupid, you pull the trigger here.
-Understood? -Fine.
Thilo?
Really understood?
-Mmm. -Hmm.
Fucking cunt.
Hey! Keep still now and don't move.
Or I'll pull the trigger. Like Kleo said.
The fact that I tried to cut your throat a few days ago in my garage,
it was nothing personal, right?
Yeah, forget it.
Did you serve?
No. Civilian.
You can tell. You're holding that thing the wrong way.
What did you say to get out of it?
Religious views?
No.
Existentialism.
-What? -Sartre.
-Uh, never heard of him. -Sartre.
"Man is thrown into the world."
Making choices, responsibility…
Uh…
-Never heard of him. -You need to read it. Sartre.
S… Sar… tre.
Does your Sartre also know what happens if you pull the trigger?
Oh, really great!
-Thilo? Where are the others? -I let them leave.
What? How come?
I know it fucks up your mission, but I remembered Sartre.
You know what would've happened if I'd pulled the trigger?
It would've ripped their stomachs to pieces.
Oh, man! And the weapon?
-Mmm. -Oh, no! For God's sake, Thilo!
We have to go. Give me the key.
-And Sven? -He's gone.
This really can't be happening!
Oh!
Oh, shit.
Oh, God!
Always ready, comrade.
Kleo, we're flying!
Goddamn it!
Don't worry. Those who disintegrate become part of the whole.
We won't disintegrate.
Shit.