1 00:00:16,663 --> 00:00:18,583 [Young Luke] He was in the basement. 2 00:00:19,457 --> 00:00:21,167 He even ripped my shirt, 3 00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:23,553 and they still didn't believe me. 4 00:00:24,129 --> 00:00:25,839 They never believe me. 5 00:00:26,297 --> 00:00:28,417 They don't even believe me about you. 6 00:00:29,717 --> 00:00:31,677 You believe me, don't you, Abigail? 7 00:00:40,145 --> 00:00:42,145 [theme music playing] 8 00:01:46,502 --> 00:01:50,262 [man] When I was a kid, my brother taught me how to spot faces in clouds. 9 00:01:51,257 --> 00:01:55,257 I could pull a face out of a lot of things. Water, mud, leaves... 10 00:01:57,388 --> 00:01:58,218 wallpaper. 11 00:02:01,059 --> 00:02:03,519 You know, I get a little older, I start messing around 12 00:02:03,603 --> 00:02:06,693 with liquor, then drugs, and I was... 13 00:02:07,148 --> 00:02:09,528 I was going down all the wrong routes, you know. 14 00:02:10,610 --> 00:02:12,360 So, uh... [inhales deeply] 15 00:02:12,695 --> 00:02:14,155 ...I joined the service, 16 00:02:14,239 --> 00:02:16,279 you know, thinking it would straight me out. 17 00:02:16,741 --> 00:02:18,081 And it did. 18 00:02:20,745 --> 00:02:22,705 2004, my second tour in Iraq, 19 00:02:22,789 --> 00:02:26,499 my company secured the ruins of a bombed-out hospital in Baghdad, 20 00:02:26,584 --> 00:02:27,464 and, uh... 21 00:02:30,171 --> 00:02:31,921 We came across this little Iraqi girl. 22 00:02:32,006 --> 00:02:34,376 I mean, she was burnt up, dead. You know. 23 00:02:38,012 --> 00:02:40,722 See, the thing is, most folks don't know what happen to... 24 00:02:41,641 --> 00:02:44,521 Most folks don't know what happens to eyeballs in a fire. 25 00:02:45,687 --> 00:02:47,767 In the right kind of fire, they, uh... 26 00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:49,820 they can melt. 27 00:02:52,819 --> 00:02:56,659 Like runny eggs on... on black skin, you know. 28 00:02:56,739 --> 00:02:57,989 And, uh... 29 00:02:59,284 --> 00:03:01,294 I mean, that fucked me up pretty bad. 30 00:03:02,203 --> 00:03:04,793 [inhales deeply then sighs] Um... 31 00:03:05,290 --> 00:03:07,500 Anyway, six months later, I'm back in the States, 32 00:03:07,583 --> 00:03:10,713 and pretty soon, I start seeing that little dead girl's face everywhere. 33 00:03:10,795 --> 00:03:14,295 It's in the clouds, it's in the dark, on fabric. 34 00:03:14,382 --> 00:03:16,972 It's fucking everywhere, you know. 35 00:03:20,013 --> 00:03:21,973 That little girl's charred body and... 36 00:03:22,515 --> 00:03:23,765 melted eyes... 37 00:03:24,892 --> 00:03:26,272 running down her cheeks. 38 00:03:26,561 --> 00:03:30,021 And pretty soon, before I know it, I'm using again. 39 00:03:30,148 --> 00:03:32,228 [inhales deeply then sighs] 40 00:03:33,693 --> 00:03:37,243 {\an8}So one night, I drop a little acid, and there she is. 41 00:03:38,698 --> 00:03:41,908 {\an8}I mean, it's growing out of the goddamn wallpaper, you know. 42 00:03:41,993 --> 00:03:43,833 I mean, and she's staring at me. 43 00:03:44,579 --> 00:03:46,119 Eyeless even, I can tell. 44 00:03:46,664 --> 00:03:48,334 So I grab this knitting needle... 45 00:03:48,875 --> 00:03:52,045 you know, and all I can think about was how to... 46 00:03:52,545 --> 00:03:53,795 how to make it stop. 47 00:03:55,548 --> 00:03:57,378 Seemed like a good idea at the time. 48 00:03:57,884 --> 00:03:58,974 [takes a deep breath] 49 00:03:59,594 --> 00:04:01,724 So, then I'm blind. 50 00:04:03,931 --> 00:04:06,561 But I mean, like, I-can't-see-anything blind, right? 51 00:04:07,518 --> 00:04:09,188 Thing is, is I still see her. 52 00:04:09,270 --> 00:04:11,060 Oh, I can't see anything else. 53 00:04:11,481 --> 00:04:12,521 I see her. 54 00:04:13,316 --> 00:04:15,776 Crispy kid with the runny-egg eyes. 55 00:04:22,533 --> 00:04:24,583 Twenty-four seven, I see her face. 56 00:04:25,745 --> 00:04:27,115 I mean, shit, I see it now. 57 00:04:27,830 --> 00:04:28,830 You know. 58 00:04:29,374 --> 00:04:30,334 But, um... 59 00:04:31,084 --> 00:04:32,214 I'm here. [sighs] 60 00:04:33,419 --> 00:04:34,879 Two months, I've been clean. 61 00:04:35,171 --> 00:04:36,421 It's a little too late. 62 00:04:39,050 --> 00:04:41,430 I leaned on my habit to get rid of that face, 63 00:04:41,511 --> 00:04:43,601 and my habit made sure that I never would. 64 00:04:49,394 --> 00:04:50,404 That's why I'm here. 65 00:04:53,898 --> 00:04:54,728 Two months. 66 00:04:58,694 --> 00:04:59,784 Well, thanks, Gordon. 67 00:05:00,780 --> 00:05:02,530 -We're glad you're here. -[Luke sighs] 68 00:05:04,700 --> 00:05:06,410 Any of our newbies wanna share? 69 00:05:12,250 --> 00:05:13,750 Luke, how about you? 70 00:05:17,004 --> 00:05:19,264 And follow that? You kidding me? 71 00:05:19,549 --> 00:05:20,429 [woman chuckles] 72 00:05:30,059 --> 00:05:32,019 [woman] Would anyone like to take a newcomer chip? 73 00:05:32,687 --> 00:05:34,017 How about 30 days clean? 74 00:05:36,232 --> 00:05:37,112 {\an8}Sixty? 75 00:05:38,192 --> 00:05:39,072 {\an8}Ninety? 76 00:05:39,527 --> 00:05:40,607 [chuckles softly] 77 00:05:44,824 --> 00:05:45,874 [clears throat] 78 00:05:48,578 --> 00:05:50,158 -Thank you. -[woman] You are welcome. 79 00:05:57,587 --> 00:05:58,417 Um... 80 00:05:58,796 --> 00:06:00,046 Luke. Uh, addict. 81 00:06:00,506 --> 00:06:01,836 [all] Hi, Luke. 82 00:06:03,301 --> 00:06:07,141 I actually don't know what I want to say here. [chuckles] 83 00:06:07,305 --> 00:06:10,595 You know, I've, uh, I've never had this much time before. 84 00:06:10,933 --> 00:06:12,023 You know, 90 days. 85 00:06:14,145 --> 00:06:15,475 [exhales, chuckles] 86 00:06:16,731 --> 00:06:17,571 Um... 87 00:06:21,694 --> 00:06:22,954 So, here goes. 88 00:06:25,573 --> 00:06:26,493 [Young Luke] One. 89 00:06:28,701 --> 00:06:29,701 Two. 90 00:06:31,704 --> 00:06:32,624 Three. 91 00:06:34,165 --> 00:06:34,995 Four. 92 00:06:38,211 --> 00:06:39,301 Five. 93 00:06:43,257 --> 00:06:44,547 Six. 94 00:06:47,553 --> 00:06:48,643 Seven. 95 00:06:51,766 --> 00:06:54,726 [Young Luke] That's him, the man I saw in the basement. 96 00:06:54,977 --> 00:06:57,857 Well, your mother and I searched the entire basement, pal, 97 00:06:58,105 --> 00:06:59,725 and there's nothing down there. 98 00:07:00,399 --> 00:07:04,279 It's normal for kids to have imaginary friends and nightmares. 99 00:07:04,362 --> 00:07:05,322 But... 100 00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:07,530 Go ahead, I'm listening. 101 00:07:08,407 --> 00:07:10,407 This house is bad, Dad. It's bad. 102 00:07:10,910 --> 00:07:14,000 Boy, oh boy, we could have a heck of a yard sale, guys. 103 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:15,750 -[Young Nell giggles] -[Younger Hugh] Yeah. 104 00:07:16,374 --> 00:07:17,584 [Young Nell laughs] 105 00:07:18,209 --> 00:07:20,089 Has anyone seen Nellie? 106 00:07:21,295 --> 00:07:22,375 That's weird. 107 00:07:22,755 --> 00:07:24,585 -You know, she was just here. -Oh. 108 00:07:24,674 --> 00:07:27,184 It's okay, I just thought she might like these cool old buttons 109 00:07:27,260 --> 00:07:28,640 -I found upstairs. -Buttons? 110 00:07:28,719 --> 00:07:30,049 Ah, you got me. 111 00:07:30,555 --> 00:07:32,845 My little Houdini. Look. 112 00:07:34,392 --> 00:07:35,522 Ooh! 113 00:07:36,310 --> 00:07:37,560 Whoa. 114 00:07:37,645 --> 00:07:39,185 Can I have the hat? 115 00:07:42,233 --> 00:07:44,993 Um... [sighs] I think it's too big for you, honey. 116 00:07:45,361 --> 00:07:47,241 I don't know. He'll grow into it. 117 00:07:48,906 --> 00:07:51,736 That is a big boy hat, all right. 118 00:07:52,076 --> 00:07:52,946 You want this? 119 00:07:53,953 --> 00:07:55,253 Well, you are a big boy now. 120 00:07:55,663 --> 00:07:57,003 But you know, big boys, 121 00:07:57,081 --> 00:08:00,171 they know the difference between what's real and what's imaginary. 122 00:08:00,251 --> 00:08:01,591 So what do you say, champ? 123 00:08:03,004 --> 00:08:04,094 [chuckles] 124 00:08:08,259 --> 00:08:09,889 [Younger Hugh and mother laughing] 125 00:08:10,428 --> 00:08:11,258 You like it? 126 00:08:11,846 --> 00:08:12,756 He loves it. 127 00:08:12,972 --> 00:08:14,142 Well, how do you know that? 128 00:08:14,557 --> 00:08:15,597 It's a twin thing. 129 00:08:15,808 --> 00:08:16,928 You two go and play. 130 00:08:20,605 --> 00:08:21,475 [mother sighs] 131 00:08:21,647 --> 00:08:23,107 So much up there. 132 00:08:28,988 --> 00:08:29,858 Oh, nice. 133 00:08:29,947 --> 00:08:32,827 -I'm having a total déjà vu right now. -[Younger Hugh] Oh. 134 00:08:34,744 --> 00:08:35,704 What do you see? 135 00:08:36,454 --> 00:08:37,334 Uh... 136 00:08:37,413 --> 00:08:39,583 Two tables, advancing colors. 137 00:08:40,791 --> 00:08:42,841 Four reading areas. 138 00:08:43,878 --> 00:08:45,838 Case goods and leather. 139 00:08:47,548 --> 00:08:51,508 A mom and dad sitting in reading chairs that face each other. 140 00:08:52,303 --> 00:08:54,353 Smaller ones for two... 141 00:08:54,764 --> 00:08:59,024 no, no, three kids who share an open center for play. 142 00:09:00,269 --> 00:09:02,479 The kids' books are on the lower shelf, 143 00:09:02,563 --> 00:09:06,033 so even the little boy with the wheelchair can reach his favorites. 144 00:09:06,108 --> 00:09:07,568 -[chuckles] -Wow. 145 00:09:08,653 --> 00:09:10,113 That got really specific. 146 00:09:10,655 --> 00:09:11,695 [both chuckle] 147 00:09:12,114 --> 00:09:12,954 Well... 148 00:09:13,991 --> 00:09:17,411 -case goods and leather, though, for sure. -Oh. 149 00:09:18,371 --> 00:09:22,001 And... I see an accident waiting to happen if you don't pull those down. 150 00:09:22,917 --> 00:09:25,127 Bodies swinging back and forth, right there. 151 00:09:25,211 --> 00:09:26,131 Yeah. 152 00:09:26,545 --> 00:09:27,455 I'll get to it. 153 00:09:31,759 --> 00:09:33,469 [Luke] I must be allergic to the fourth step. 154 00:09:34,220 --> 00:09:36,010 [sighs] 155 00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:39,177 Every time I do one, I break out in track marks. [clears throat] 156 00:09:39,266 --> 00:09:42,096 Good. If you liked it, you'd be doing it wrong. 157 00:09:42,687 --> 00:09:44,687 "A fearless moral inventory." 158 00:09:44,772 --> 00:09:46,652 We're only as sick as our secrets. 159 00:09:46,732 --> 00:09:47,982 Okay, well... 160 00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:49,940 let's see. 161 00:09:50,486 --> 00:09:53,316 I've burned Shirley for thousands of dollars. 162 00:09:53,406 --> 00:09:55,526 Um, lied to Theo like it was my job. 163 00:09:55,616 --> 00:09:58,036 Stolen from Steve on countless occasions. 164 00:09:58,119 --> 00:09:59,539 I broke Nellie's heart. 165 00:09:59,620 --> 00:10:00,660 Missed her wedding. 166 00:10:01,664 --> 00:10:04,084 I've even robbed my asshole of a father, 167 00:10:04,166 --> 00:10:06,376 though that one doesn't exactly keep me up at night. 168 00:10:06,460 --> 00:10:08,840 Try stealing morphine from your mother on her deathbed. 169 00:10:09,213 --> 00:10:11,513 Probably would've, but she didn't really give me a chance. 170 00:10:11,590 --> 00:10:13,220 At least you have other family, you know. 171 00:10:13,718 --> 00:10:16,388 -Someone you can make amends to. -[exhales] Yeah. 172 00:10:16,470 --> 00:10:19,010 But I've done some shitty things, Joey. 173 00:10:19,223 --> 00:10:20,183 Who hasn't? 174 00:10:20,266 --> 00:10:22,096 I've been on the streets since I was 13. 175 00:10:22,184 --> 00:10:24,524 There aren't enough pages in that notebook for all my shit. 176 00:10:24,603 --> 00:10:27,773 I never know how far back to go. Like, do I cover high school? 177 00:10:28,315 --> 00:10:31,315 [inhales] Like, stealing cash out of my aunt's wallet for beer, 178 00:10:31,402 --> 00:10:32,992 or do I just start with 179 00:10:33,070 --> 00:10:35,780 "I briefly lived in a haunted house." [chuckles] 180 00:10:40,995 --> 00:10:41,995 Hey. 181 00:10:42,997 --> 00:10:43,827 You okay? 182 00:10:44,790 --> 00:10:45,620 Yeah. 183 00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:48,460 Something's bothering you tonight. 184 00:10:48,544 --> 00:10:51,424 What could possibly be bothering me in a place like this? 185 00:10:51,505 --> 00:10:53,755 You're nine months clean, Joey. 186 00:10:54,383 --> 00:10:56,093 Nine months. 187 00:10:56,677 --> 00:10:58,927 Your sobriety, it's... it's full-term. 188 00:10:59,013 --> 00:11:01,353 It's a fully-formed little baby. Anywhere, 189 00:11:01,432 --> 00:11:04,022 -[alarm buzzes] -nine months clean is a palace. 190 00:11:04,101 --> 00:11:06,231 -[woman] Ten o'clock. Lights out. -[exhales] 191 00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:09,150 [Luke] Seriously, what's wrong? 192 00:11:16,614 --> 00:11:17,494 How's the step? 193 00:11:19,116 --> 00:11:20,486 You know... [clears throat] 194 00:11:20,993 --> 00:11:22,703 -...kicking my ass. -[chuckles softly] 195 00:11:22,787 --> 00:11:24,117 Fourth one always does. 196 00:11:25,706 --> 00:11:27,326 I meant to tell you, your brother called. 197 00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:30,130 Steve called? 198 00:11:30,211 --> 00:11:33,211 -Yeah, wanted to know if you were here. -That's typical. 199 00:11:33,798 --> 00:11:35,928 Call him back tomorrow. Tell him about your chip. 200 00:11:36,383 --> 00:11:37,763 Yeah, I don't know. Um... 201 00:11:38,511 --> 00:11:41,061 he won't believe it. [grunts] 202 00:11:42,014 --> 00:11:43,144 They never do. 203 00:11:43,390 --> 00:11:45,350 -It's kind of their thing. -I don't know. 204 00:11:45,893 --> 00:11:48,353 That sister of yours, the one that dropped you off, 205 00:11:48,437 --> 00:11:50,767 she seemed to believe in you. Tons, actually. 206 00:11:50,898 --> 00:11:52,358 Yeah, well... [clears throat] 207 00:11:52,566 --> 00:11:53,856 ...it's a twin thing. 208 00:11:54,527 --> 00:11:55,527 Ten o'clock, Joey. 209 00:11:55,611 --> 00:11:58,281 Yeah, yeah. Back to the ladies' cell block. 210 00:12:03,536 --> 00:12:05,246 -Later. -Good night. 211 00:12:13,170 --> 00:12:15,170 [siren wailing] 212 00:12:24,557 --> 00:12:27,597 [gasping] 213 00:12:33,274 --> 00:12:35,654 [Nell breathing heavily] 214 00:12:43,701 --> 00:12:44,831 Go. 215 00:12:49,623 --> 00:12:50,623 [grunts] 216 00:12:54,712 --> 00:12:56,512 [Young Nell] Luke, you ready? 217 00:12:57,047 --> 00:12:57,917 Ready. 218 00:12:58,465 --> 00:13:01,335 I'm sending down three buttons. You ready? 219 00:13:01,427 --> 00:13:02,547 I said I'm ready. 220 00:13:03,262 --> 00:13:04,512 [rattle] 221 00:13:05,598 --> 00:13:06,518 [rattle] 222 00:13:09,101 --> 00:13:10,351 Did you get 'em? 223 00:13:10,978 --> 00:13:12,978 I got two. 224 00:13:14,148 --> 00:13:15,268 I sent three. 225 00:13:15,399 --> 00:13:16,779 Well, I only got two. 226 00:13:16,984 --> 00:13:18,494 [Young Nell] It must be stuck. 227 00:13:19,570 --> 00:13:22,740 Maybe we can drop some other stuff to shake it loose. 228 00:13:22,823 --> 00:13:23,663 Like what? 229 00:13:25,367 --> 00:13:27,617 There were some rocks in the garden, pretty ones. 230 00:13:27,703 --> 00:13:29,713 -Abigail showed me one in-- -[rattle] 231 00:13:29,788 --> 00:13:30,998 [button clatters] 232 00:13:33,709 --> 00:13:34,959 [woman, softly] Clara. 233 00:13:38,130 --> 00:13:40,090 Clara. 234 00:13:42,384 --> 00:13:44,054 Was somebody else up there? 235 00:13:44,803 --> 00:13:45,723 Like who? 236 00:13:45,971 --> 00:13:47,681 Mrs. Dudley or Theo? 237 00:13:52,102 --> 00:13:53,022 You're scared. 238 00:13:53,604 --> 00:13:54,564 No, I'm not. 239 00:13:54,939 --> 00:13:56,359 -I can tell. -How? 240 00:13:57,358 --> 00:13:58,778 Because I'm scared. 241 00:14:10,829 --> 00:14:12,709 Nellie, still down there? 242 00:14:12,790 --> 00:14:13,790 [Nell] I'm here. 243 00:14:13,874 --> 00:14:14,754 I was right. 244 00:14:15,250 --> 00:14:16,290 There's nothing. 245 00:14:16,752 --> 00:14:18,922 It was probably just Theo... 246 00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:20,460 messing around. 247 00:14:23,801 --> 00:14:25,431 [woman] Clara! 248 00:14:26,428 --> 00:14:27,598 [gasps] 249 00:14:32,768 --> 00:14:34,768 Nellie! Nellie! 250 00:14:37,398 --> 00:14:38,478 [Luke grunts] 251 00:14:38,565 --> 00:14:39,935 Jesus. 252 00:14:40,442 --> 00:14:43,032 [woman on PA] Seven a.m. Breakfast in ten minutes. 253 00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:57,206 [woman] As you've all heard by now... 254 00:14:57,292 --> 00:14:59,802 Joey chose to leave treatment in the middle of the night. 255 00:15:01,296 --> 00:15:03,796 This is what happens when we forget why we're here. 256 00:15:04,091 --> 00:15:06,591 I know we're all gonna have a lot of feelings about that. 257 00:15:06,677 --> 00:15:07,967 Some more than others. 258 00:15:09,013 --> 00:15:11,273 This is a moment we should all pay attention to, 259 00:15:11,348 --> 00:15:12,808 especially you newbies here. 260 00:15:13,267 --> 00:15:16,307 There's a reason why the program encourages us 261 00:15:16,395 --> 00:15:18,805 to stay out of personal relationships the first year. 262 00:15:18,897 --> 00:15:20,727 We're not in a relationship. 263 00:15:20,816 --> 00:15:22,316 Any kind of relationship. 264 00:15:22,901 --> 00:15:25,071 We can get real close to people in recovery. 265 00:15:25,154 --> 00:15:26,164 We're friends. 266 00:15:26,238 --> 00:15:29,118 How the fuck do you expect people to get through this without friends? 267 00:15:29,199 --> 00:15:30,029 [woman] We don't. 268 00:15:30,117 --> 00:15:32,947 One of the biggest issues that can sometimes happen and just... 269 00:15:33,037 --> 00:15:33,867 sometimes... 270 00:15:34,204 --> 00:15:36,544 and I'm not saying this about you, Luke, 271 00:15:36,623 --> 00:15:40,923 is we can start to hang our recovery on someone else instead of on ourselves. 272 00:15:41,503 --> 00:15:44,553 And you lean too hard on another addict? Well, shit. 273 00:15:45,132 --> 00:15:47,632 We didn't all end up in here 'cause we're so reliable. 274 00:15:50,220 --> 00:15:52,140 -Luke. -I'm fine. 275 00:15:52,306 --> 00:15:53,216 Luke! 276 00:15:53,974 --> 00:15:56,104 I'm just getting some air. [clears throat] 277 00:15:57,019 --> 00:15:57,849 [Luke] Fuck. 278 00:16:10,491 --> 00:16:11,741 [sighs] 279 00:16:12,284 --> 00:16:14,414 [panting] 280 00:16:26,423 --> 00:16:27,263 Luke? 281 00:16:29,384 --> 00:16:31,054 Luke, you okay in there? 282 00:16:45,818 --> 00:16:48,568 [Nell] Hi, this is Nell. Please leave a message after the beep. 283 00:16:48,654 --> 00:16:51,574 [Luke] Hey, hey, it's, uh, it's me. Um... 284 00:16:53,617 --> 00:16:55,657 I, uh, I had a moment, um... 285 00:16:56,286 --> 00:16:57,786 last night, one of those. 286 00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:01,670 Uh, you know what I'm talking about, um... 287 00:17:02,334 --> 00:17:04,594 I just-- I just wanted to make sure that you're okay. 288 00:17:04,670 --> 00:17:05,550 Um... 289 00:17:08,507 --> 00:17:13,047 I, uh, I don't have a phone... and you won't reach me at the center. 290 00:17:13,137 --> 00:17:16,557 But, uh, you can call there... call there and leave me a message there. 291 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:18,140 I should be back by tonight. 292 00:17:18,392 --> 00:17:19,892 I just have to find a friend. 293 00:17:21,353 --> 00:17:24,113 And don't... don't worry. I'm... I'm fine. 294 00:17:24,773 --> 00:17:25,903 I just, uh... 295 00:17:26,692 --> 00:17:28,862 I just wanted to make sure you're okay. 296 00:17:29,486 --> 00:17:30,446 You know. 297 00:17:31,405 --> 00:17:32,355 Yeah, okay. 298 00:17:33,615 --> 00:17:34,985 [receiver clicks] 299 00:17:54,928 --> 00:17:56,348 [indistinct chattering] 300 00:18:21,872 --> 00:18:23,292 [dog barking] 301 00:18:31,423 --> 00:18:32,673 [barking continues] 302 00:18:34,593 --> 00:18:37,393 -[dogs barking and howling] -[crickets chirping] 303 00:18:39,223 --> 00:18:40,183 [grunts] 304 00:18:44,019 --> 00:18:45,399 [barking stops] 305 00:19:15,968 --> 00:19:17,968 -[faint tap] -[crickets stop chirping] 306 00:19:29,273 --> 00:19:30,273 [faint tap] 307 00:19:34,486 --> 00:19:35,566 [tapping continues] 308 00:20:10,856 --> 00:20:12,566 [door creaks] 309 00:20:19,323 --> 00:20:20,323 [gasps] 310 00:20:25,620 --> 00:20:26,660 [taps] 311 00:20:41,345 --> 00:20:43,465 [door creaking] 312 00:20:55,609 --> 00:20:56,649 [door clicks] 313 00:21:02,574 --> 00:21:03,954 [tapping continues] 314 00:21:07,329 --> 00:21:09,249 [panting] 315 00:21:15,379 --> 00:21:16,709 [tapping grows closer] 316 00:21:17,756 --> 00:21:19,876 [breathing shakily] 317 00:21:34,564 --> 00:21:35,694 [whimpers] 318 00:22:13,895 --> 00:22:15,055 [groans softly] 319 00:22:26,241 --> 00:22:27,081 [exhales loudly] 320 00:22:27,159 --> 00:22:29,159 [hyperventilating] 321 00:22:55,770 --> 00:22:56,810 [grunts] 322 00:23:00,442 --> 00:23:01,902 [screams] 323 00:23:01,985 --> 00:23:03,275 [tires screeching] 324 00:23:03,361 --> 00:23:05,241 -[horn blares] -[man] Fuck you! 325 00:23:05,655 --> 00:23:07,065 [Luke panting] 326 00:23:07,657 --> 00:23:09,027 [man] Learn how to drive! 327 00:23:09,951 --> 00:23:11,501 [indistinct chattering] 328 00:23:12,204 --> 00:23:14,214 [sirens wailing in distance] 329 00:23:48,907 --> 00:23:49,737 Hey. 330 00:23:50,742 --> 00:23:51,742 [Joey] Hey. 331 00:23:53,495 --> 00:23:55,115 How'd you know where to find me? 332 00:23:57,499 --> 00:23:58,749 I know your spots. 333 00:24:00,919 --> 00:24:03,379 Hey, hey. It's okay, it's okay. 334 00:24:03,463 --> 00:24:04,883 Come on, it's okay. 335 00:24:05,298 --> 00:24:06,298 [Luke] I found her. 336 00:24:06,383 --> 00:24:08,643 We're coming back. We can be there in 20 minutes. 337 00:24:08,718 --> 00:24:10,048 This isn't a hotel, Luke. 338 00:24:10,136 --> 00:24:11,886 You know that. You know that we're full up, 339 00:24:11,972 --> 00:24:14,562 and we need these beds for people who actually want to get well. 340 00:24:14,683 --> 00:24:16,693 You run, you give up your spot. That's the way it is. 341 00:24:16,768 --> 00:24:18,438 Please, Paige. Please. 342 00:24:18,812 --> 00:24:20,652 Your best bet is gonna be a shelter. 343 00:24:21,022 --> 00:24:23,022 [stuttering] That's the last place she should be. 344 00:24:23,108 --> 00:24:24,728 She'll cop. She's already... 345 00:24:25,443 --> 00:24:26,363 [exhales] 346 00:24:26,778 --> 00:24:29,988 Look, I need a place where she can come down safe. 347 00:24:30,365 --> 00:24:32,525 Oh, fuck, Luke. I... [sighs] 348 00:24:35,120 --> 00:24:35,950 I'm sorry. 349 00:24:36,705 --> 00:24:38,575 But you did it to yourselves. 350 00:24:39,583 --> 00:24:40,423 [softly] Fuck. 351 00:24:42,877 --> 00:24:44,167 [receiver clicks] 352 00:24:44,296 --> 00:24:46,716 [Joey] She's right. I knew the rules when I left. 353 00:24:49,926 --> 00:24:50,886 You okay? 354 00:24:52,512 --> 00:24:53,352 Yeah. 355 00:24:54,514 --> 00:24:57,144 I just... I slept on it funny last night. 356 00:24:59,185 --> 00:25:01,435 I told you not to follow me. Why did you? 357 00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:07,649 [crying] I'm sorry. 358 00:25:12,324 --> 00:25:13,164 [sniffles] 359 00:25:13,491 --> 00:25:15,791 It's just... You gotta go back. 360 00:25:15,910 --> 00:25:17,700 I messed up. Doesn't mean you have to. 361 00:25:17,787 --> 00:25:19,367 I got... I got an idea. 362 00:25:19,748 --> 00:25:22,628 Um, if I can get you a motel, then-- 363 00:25:22,709 --> 00:25:23,669 Do you have money? 364 00:25:25,795 --> 00:25:27,585 -No. -Can you get money? 365 00:25:29,341 --> 00:25:31,681 -What about your sisters or your brother? -No. 366 00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:34,800 -Do you think you can call them? -I'll... I'll get some. Okay? 367 00:25:36,014 --> 00:25:39,894 And I'm... I'm gonna fix this. I'm gonna get us a place to stay tonight. 368 00:25:39,976 --> 00:25:41,976 Um, tomorrow, too. 369 00:25:42,437 --> 00:25:44,147 And I'm gonna get you clean again. 370 00:25:45,106 --> 00:25:48,066 And I'm gonna be right here, right there with you. 371 00:25:49,402 --> 00:25:51,662 All the way, just like you were for me, okay? 372 00:25:53,490 --> 00:25:55,330 And we're gonna find a new place. 373 00:25:56,785 --> 00:25:57,735 I promise. 374 00:26:05,210 --> 00:26:06,540 You got anything left? 375 00:26:11,716 --> 00:26:12,626 Yeah. 376 00:26:21,184 --> 00:26:23,024 That should get us most of the way. 377 00:26:29,776 --> 00:26:31,436 Come on. Come on. 378 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:36,240 Ah, you got some balls, man. 379 00:26:36,449 --> 00:26:38,279 How long did you wait this morning? 380 00:26:38,410 --> 00:26:39,660 Before hopping the wall? 381 00:26:39,994 --> 00:26:40,954 Oh, not long. 382 00:26:41,621 --> 00:26:44,251 -I still can't believe you came after me. -[sniffles] 383 00:26:45,208 --> 00:26:47,338 Well, my sister kinda told me to. 384 00:26:48,294 --> 00:26:50,804 -Hmm? -No, not really. She... 385 00:26:52,799 --> 00:26:56,639 We're kind of in each other's heads. It's been like that since we were kids. 386 00:26:57,262 --> 00:26:59,682 It's a twin thing. [breathes shakily] 387 00:27:00,181 --> 00:27:01,521 You know, once I... 388 00:27:02,100 --> 00:27:03,310 Once I broke my foot... 389 00:27:04,644 --> 00:27:05,564 and... 390 00:27:05,854 --> 00:27:08,734 and Nell called me a few minutes later, and she was just... 391 00:27:09,190 --> 00:27:12,860 she was just watching TV, and her ankle just went nuts. [chuckles] 392 00:27:13,361 --> 00:27:14,781 -It hurt like hell. -[chuckles] 393 00:27:14,863 --> 00:27:16,993 She had no idea why. She iced it for an hour. 394 00:27:17,073 --> 00:27:18,783 -Bullshit. -No, it's a true story. 395 00:27:19,325 --> 00:27:20,155 [chuckles] 396 00:27:22,537 --> 00:27:24,287 You know, there are... [clears throat] 397 00:27:25,915 --> 00:27:28,375 ...there are moments you kind of remind me of her. 398 00:27:31,004 --> 00:27:31,844 And she... 399 00:27:33,757 --> 00:27:36,217 You know, she's-- she's-- she's always believed in me. 400 00:27:36,301 --> 00:27:37,141 Not... 401 00:27:37,635 --> 00:27:39,755 The rest of the family, not so much, but... 402 00:27:39,888 --> 00:27:42,928 the only other person that believed in me like that was you. 403 00:27:43,558 --> 00:27:44,598 [Joey chuckles] 404 00:27:45,810 --> 00:27:47,310 So yeah, of course I came. 405 00:27:47,979 --> 00:27:49,729 It's what you would've done for me. 406 00:27:54,736 --> 00:27:56,066 Fuck. [sighs] 407 00:27:56,946 --> 00:27:57,776 You okay? 408 00:27:59,115 --> 00:28:00,115 Yeah, I'm... 409 00:28:00,909 --> 00:28:02,789 I don't know. I'm cold, um... 410 00:28:04,078 --> 00:28:07,368 Listen, when we, uh... when we get there, just hang back. 411 00:28:07,457 --> 00:28:09,287 I don't want her to see your eyes. 412 00:28:10,001 --> 00:28:11,501 -She'll know, okay? -Yeah. 413 00:28:13,630 --> 00:28:15,670 [sighs] She always fucking knows. 414 00:28:18,092 --> 00:28:20,602 [dogs barking in distance] 415 00:28:29,729 --> 00:28:31,149 [doorbell rings] 416 00:28:40,365 --> 00:28:42,325 -Luke. -Hey, Leigh. 417 00:28:42,784 --> 00:28:43,794 How you doing? 418 00:28:45,495 --> 00:28:48,745 This is a... surprise. [chuckles] 419 00:28:49,624 --> 00:28:50,754 Uh, what are you... 420 00:28:52,335 --> 00:28:53,705 -How are you? -[Luke] I'm good. 421 00:28:54,003 --> 00:28:58,053 Ah, I'm... I'm really, really good. Ninety days good, in fact. 422 00:28:58,132 --> 00:28:59,222 That's really great. 423 00:29:00,969 --> 00:29:02,549 I can tell. You look different. 424 00:29:02,637 --> 00:29:03,717 Thank you. Um... 425 00:29:04,389 --> 00:29:07,929 so good, I... I got a day pass. Is, uh, Steve here? 426 00:29:08,268 --> 00:29:09,438 No, he isn't. 427 00:29:09,519 --> 00:29:11,689 Is he... well, is he coming back soon? 428 00:29:11,771 --> 00:29:13,941 I just kinda need to talk to him about something. 429 00:29:14,023 --> 00:29:15,233 He didn't tell you. 430 00:29:15,817 --> 00:29:16,727 Tell me what? 431 00:29:17,110 --> 00:29:19,360 No, Steve is not coming back soon. Maybe ever. 432 00:29:19,445 --> 00:29:20,855 He doesn't live here anymore. 433 00:29:21,322 --> 00:29:22,952 Wait, what? What? 434 00:29:24,158 --> 00:29:25,828 [Leigh] We separated a month ago. 435 00:29:28,079 --> 00:29:29,209 Why? Why? 436 00:29:29,998 --> 00:29:32,208 I would really rather not get into that. 437 00:29:36,629 --> 00:29:37,549 [Luke] Okay. Um... 438 00:29:39,883 --> 00:29:40,763 Uh... 439 00:29:41,509 --> 00:29:43,549 Listen, I'm... I'm-- I'm clean. 440 00:29:43,845 --> 00:29:47,635 -Um, ninety days, like I said. -And I said that's great. 441 00:29:50,393 --> 00:29:52,903 -Leigh, I need to borrow some money. -Jesus, Luke. 442 00:29:52,979 --> 00:29:54,769 No, it's not like that. I just-- 443 00:29:54,856 --> 00:29:57,436 We have been through this over and over. 444 00:29:57,525 --> 00:30:00,395 It's for a hotel. Or if you could just let us stay here-- 445 00:30:00,486 --> 00:30:02,986 You know you can't do that. You know that. 446 00:30:04,824 --> 00:30:05,704 Okay. 447 00:30:06,826 --> 00:30:09,076 Um... Okay, can you... 448 00:30:10,163 --> 00:30:12,673 can you just give me Steve's address then, please? 449 00:30:13,541 --> 00:30:14,921 I think he's out of town. 450 00:30:15,418 --> 00:30:16,288 [sighs] 451 00:30:17,170 --> 00:30:19,130 [Leigh] I mean, even if he wasn't... 452 00:30:20,381 --> 00:30:22,681 I am proud of you, I am. 453 00:30:23,384 --> 00:30:25,054 But you have to talk to Steven. 454 00:30:25,970 --> 00:30:27,470 You know what he's going to say. 455 00:30:27,931 --> 00:30:30,641 [sighs] I really can't deal with this right now. 456 00:30:30,725 --> 00:30:32,685 -[Joey laughing] -Things are bad enough. 457 00:30:33,394 --> 00:30:35,614 {\an8}-[Leigh] You're not serious. -I am. I am. 458 00:30:35,688 --> 00:30:37,858 {\an8}They'll hang a toy phone around your neck, 459 00:30:37,941 --> 00:30:40,321 {\an8}and you have to wear it all day, maybe longer. 460 00:30:40,401 --> 00:30:42,151 Like a child's toy phone? 461 00:30:42,236 --> 00:30:45,406 Yes, it's like The Scarlet Letter for violating the phone rule. 462 00:30:45,490 --> 00:30:49,160 Improper use of a phone. They catch you, you wear the phone, like, 463 00:30:49,243 --> 00:30:52,043 "Let this be a chilling example to the others." 464 00:30:52,121 --> 00:30:53,161 [all laughing] 465 00:30:53,414 --> 00:30:54,334 You, uh... 466 00:30:54,791 --> 00:30:58,801 You can't make calls in the first 30 days unless a caseworker signs off, so... 467 00:30:58,878 --> 00:31:00,668 [Leigh] Well, that's a little harsh, isn't it? 468 00:31:00,755 --> 00:31:02,965 [Joey] It's not as harsh as an overdose. 469 00:31:03,967 --> 00:31:05,587 [Luke] I mean, addicts, we're... 470 00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:08,050 we're pretty slippery in early recovery. 471 00:31:08,137 --> 00:31:10,807 That's why they confiscate our cell phones, you know, 472 00:31:10,974 --> 00:31:12,984 in case someone was to call a connection. 473 00:31:13,059 --> 00:31:14,019 Yeah. 474 00:31:14,143 --> 00:31:15,813 [Leigh] What if you want to call your mom? 475 00:31:15,895 --> 00:31:18,605 Oh, for some folks in there, their connection is their mom. 476 00:31:18,690 --> 00:31:19,860 -Truly. -It's true. 477 00:31:19,983 --> 00:31:21,113 [all laughing] 478 00:31:25,279 --> 00:31:26,569 So, um... 479 00:31:27,198 --> 00:31:28,868 So, Luke tells me you're a writer. 480 00:31:30,159 --> 00:31:32,449 He did? I'm surprised he mentioned it. 481 00:31:33,162 --> 00:31:34,962 Where do you get your ideas from? 482 00:31:38,209 --> 00:31:40,709 I write about haunted houses, mostly. 483 00:31:41,129 --> 00:31:44,049 And haunted people. I'm afraid there's no shortage of them. 484 00:31:44,382 --> 00:31:45,592 [Joey] Must run in the family. 485 00:31:45,675 --> 00:31:47,545 I mean, Luke's a great writer, too. 486 00:31:47,635 --> 00:31:49,755 -[Steve] Yeah? -Oh, no, I'm not. [chuckles] 487 00:31:49,846 --> 00:31:52,636 Stop selling yourself short. He's really talented. 488 00:31:52,724 --> 00:31:54,984 You should... you should show them the one about... 489 00:31:55,059 --> 00:31:58,269 the short story with the imaginary little friend in the garden. 490 00:31:58,354 --> 00:32:00,574 -The one... Do you know that one? -Mmm. Um, yeah. 491 00:32:00,648 --> 00:32:02,358 -Abigail. -[Joey] Yeah. [chuckles] 492 00:32:02,483 --> 00:32:04,323 I put her in one of my books, too. 493 00:32:04,777 --> 00:32:07,657 Something tells me Luke won't get as much blowback for his. 494 00:32:09,282 --> 00:32:11,122 Oh, it's just... it's just an essay. 495 00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:12,740 It's not anything, you know. 496 00:32:12,827 --> 00:32:14,947 I keep telling him he should publish it. 497 00:32:15,246 --> 00:32:16,156 Off his name alone. 498 00:32:16,581 --> 00:32:18,671 Maybe get a sweet place like this for himself. 499 00:32:18,958 --> 00:32:20,788 I mean, you guys... This is so awesome. 500 00:32:20,877 --> 00:32:24,047 You guys got it all, man. [chuckles] Where do you go from here? 501 00:32:25,673 --> 00:32:27,593 Nothing left to do except... [inhales deeply] 502 00:32:27,717 --> 00:32:30,007 ...maybe fill this place up with some kids, I guess. 503 00:32:32,722 --> 00:32:33,722 [sighs] 504 00:32:34,515 --> 00:32:36,555 So is this your first rehab, Joey? 505 00:32:36,726 --> 00:32:38,516 Uh, it's far from it. 506 00:32:39,479 --> 00:32:42,359 Some of us are addicted to treatment centers, huh? [chuckles] 507 00:32:42,774 --> 00:32:44,734 [Steve] Not Luke's first rodeo either. 508 00:32:45,693 --> 00:32:48,203 So what's different this time? Something must be. 509 00:32:48,279 --> 00:32:50,489 I mean, you know the definition of insanity. 510 00:32:50,573 --> 00:32:51,413 Steve. 511 00:32:51,491 --> 00:32:53,411 Doing the same thing over and over-- 512 00:32:53,493 --> 00:32:56,253 ...and expecting different results. Sure, man. Sure. 513 00:32:56,704 --> 00:32:58,794 They're all different, though. Every day is different. 514 00:32:58,873 --> 00:33:01,133 Every... craving is different. 515 00:33:01,209 --> 00:33:02,839 Every meeting is different. 516 00:33:03,294 --> 00:33:05,844 [Steve] Right. I'm not trying to suggest you're not taking it seriously. 517 00:33:05,922 --> 00:33:06,762 Oh... 518 00:33:06,964 --> 00:33:07,924 and I'm just... 519 00:33:08,174 --> 00:33:09,224 This time around... 520 00:33:10,134 --> 00:33:13,604 I'm just speaking for myself, like... I got more support. 521 00:33:14,806 --> 00:33:16,266 And I'm giving more support. 522 00:33:17,058 --> 00:33:17,928 So... 523 00:33:18,893 --> 00:33:20,693 in a sense, I guess you could say... 524 00:33:21,187 --> 00:33:23,307 it looks like the same thing over and over again, 525 00:33:23,397 --> 00:33:24,817 but that's not insanity. 526 00:33:25,233 --> 00:33:27,363 Out there on the streets, that's insanity. 527 00:33:28,069 --> 00:33:28,989 [Steve] Of course. 528 00:33:29,987 --> 00:33:32,067 So that's what recovery is, you know. 529 00:33:32,156 --> 00:33:34,776 It's the... it's the same thing over and over again, 530 00:33:34,867 --> 00:33:36,697 in spite of the result, or... 531 00:33:36,994 --> 00:33:38,004 in spite of... 532 00:33:38,538 --> 00:33:41,538 a backslide or in spite of a full-fledged fucking relapse. 533 00:33:44,001 --> 00:33:46,551 Doesn't mean you stop just 'cause it gets a little repetitive. 534 00:33:47,755 --> 00:33:48,755 One day at a time. 535 00:33:50,591 --> 00:33:51,931 When we decide to get clean, 536 00:33:52,009 --> 00:33:54,799 it's not because we expect it to be fucking exciting, you know. 537 00:34:03,104 --> 00:34:05,574 Is it normal to bring a friend home on a day pass? 538 00:34:05,690 --> 00:34:06,520 [Luke] Yeah. 539 00:34:07,024 --> 00:34:08,114 It happens. 540 00:34:08,484 --> 00:34:11,654 -I just never really felt like it before. -You must like her. 541 00:34:12,572 --> 00:34:13,782 I admire her. 542 00:34:14,699 --> 00:34:15,529 Don't you? 543 00:34:16,701 --> 00:34:18,701 I feel like she's got her shit together. 544 00:34:18,911 --> 00:34:21,501 I'd think you'd want me to take a page out of a book like that. 545 00:34:21,581 --> 00:34:24,461 Look, I... I get it. She's charming. 546 00:34:25,501 --> 00:34:27,251 She's articulate, she's funny. 547 00:34:27,753 --> 00:34:30,173 -Yeah. -Disarming, you might say. 548 00:34:30,715 --> 00:34:32,255 You might even say "slick." 549 00:34:34,177 --> 00:34:35,007 Slick? 550 00:34:35,803 --> 00:34:36,973 Just saying. 551 00:34:37,597 --> 00:34:39,217 You know, she stayed up with me 552 00:34:39,807 --> 00:34:41,677 that first week when I was coming down. 553 00:34:41,767 --> 00:34:44,057 You... you ever seen someone in withdrawal, Steve? 554 00:34:44,145 --> 00:34:45,055 Nope. 555 00:34:45,771 --> 00:34:46,771 Well, it's hell. 556 00:34:47,481 --> 00:34:48,321 It's... 557 00:34:48,983 --> 00:34:50,653 You're freezing all the time. 558 00:34:50,735 --> 00:34:53,605 LA in July, no air conditioning, freezing. 559 00:34:53,863 --> 00:34:56,663 Muscle aches, stiff as boards, nausea, shakes. 560 00:34:56,782 --> 00:34:58,582 -I wouldn't know. -[Luke] Well, she does. 561 00:34:58,659 --> 00:34:59,869 Because she was there. 562 00:35:00,536 --> 00:35:02,656 And she talked me through it. She rode it out with me. 563 00:35:03,664 --> 00:35:05,544 Wow. Awesome. 564 00:35:07,418 --> 00:35:08,918 Fuck. Steve... 565 00:35:10,004 --> 00:35:13,094 I'm not... I'm not asking for her hand in marriage. 566 00:35:13,174 --> 00:35:16,184 I just wanted to bring a friend to dinner, and you're not giving her a chance. 567 00:35:16,260 --> 00:35:17,260 No, I guess I'm not. 568 00:35:17,345 --> 00:35:19,345 -Why not? -I'm fresh out of those. 569 00:35:20,598 --> 00:35:21,808 I gave 'em all to you. 570 00:35:23,517 --> 00:35:24,437 Wow. 571 00:35:25,019 --> 00:35:28,149 -I just want you to be careful, is all. -I'm doing good, Steve. 572 00:35:28,439 --> 00:35:31,399 Anyway, she's... she's a good person. She's a good influence. 573 00:35:31,484 --> 00:35:32,364 [chuckles] 574 00:35:32,443 --> 00:35:36,033 Just because someone's a good person, just because you care about them... 575 00:35:36,656 --> 00:35:38,316 doesn't mean they won't burn you. 576 00:35:39,784 --> 00:35:41,334 You're a good person, Luke. 577 00:35:41,410 --> 00:35:42,330 And I love you. 578 00:35:43,537 --> 00:35:44,457 And... 579 00:35:44,997 --> 00:35:45,867 you know. 580 00:35:48,626 --> 00:35:49,586 Thanks, Steve. 581 00:35:52,004 --> 00:35:55,264 You know, I'm so glad we got to share this milestone. 582 00:35:55,883 --> 00:35:59,183 That's all I wanted. Thirty days clean, so you can make me feel like shit again. 583 00:36:01,847 --> 00:36:03,427 -[Steve] Luke. -Fuck you. 584 00:36:09,438 --> 00:36:10,768 [rattling] 585 00:36:15,319 --> 00:36:16,239 [shivers] 586 00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:18,860 Jesus, Steve. It's fucking freezing in here. 587 00:36:36,632 --> 00:36:39,142 [siren wailing] 588 00:36:40,052 --> 00:36:41,302 [door opens] 589 00:36:42,972 --> 00:36:44,682 Fother mucker. 590 00:36:49,687 --> 00:36:50,687 [sighs] 591 00:36:53,816 --> 00:36:54,646 Hey, Luke. 592 00:36:57,903 --> 00:36:59,453 Hey... hey, Steve. 593 00:37:03,909 --> 00:37:06,329 Look, uh, this isn't what it looks like. Um... 594 00:37:07,204 --> 00:37:08,214 Are you cold? 595 00:37:08,456 --> 00:37:09,286 Yeah. 596 00:37:11,083 --> 00:37:12,503 How'd you know where to find me? 597 00:37:16,005 --> 00:37:18,965 Tell you what, I've got 200 bucks here. 598 00:37:19,383 --> 00:37:20,933 You hand me that iPad, 599 00:37:21,010 --> 00:37:23,350 you can keep the cash and sell that old camera. 600 00:37:23,763 --> 00:37:25,813 But, I need the iPad, you know? 601 00:37:26,307 --> 00:37:27,347 It stays here. 602 00:37:36,859 --> 00:37:37,859 Hey. 603 00:37:38,361 --> 00:37:39,201 Hey. 604 00:37:39,445 --> 00:37:41,775 Oh, my God. I saw him walking in. I thought you were fucked. 605 00:37:41,864 --> 00:37:42,784 It's all good. 606 00:37:46,202 --> 00:37:48,002 Should be enough for a night, maybe two. 607 00:37:48,788 --> 00:37:50,458 And some food. Oh, here. 608 00:37:54,126 --> 00:37:55,626 -Amazing, Luke. -[chuckles] 609 00:37:55,711 --> 00:37:57,131 [stammering] Amazing. 610 00:37:58,547 --> 00:38:01,627 Goddammit, it's cold tonight. Are you cold? 611 00:38:03,052 --> 00:38:04,302 Where are we? Seventh? 612 00:38:04,387 --> 00:38:05,597 Yeah, almost. 613 00:38:05,679 --> 00:38:07,059 It's a few more blocks. 614 00:38:07,139 --> 00:38:09,769 I want a clean hotel, no junkies on the sidewalk. 615 00:38:09,850 --> 00:38:12,600 Man, I don't know if I'm gonna make it a couple blocks without a piss. 616 00:38:14,021 --> 00:38:15,231 I'll just, um... 617 00:38:15,314 --> 00:38:17,984 pop into the little junkies' room and be back in a minute. 618 00:38:23,406 --> 00:38:24,236 Baby. 619 00:38:26,117 --> 00:38:27,157 You got a fever? 620 00:38:27,326 --> 00:38:29,116 Yeah, maybe. [chuckles] 621 00:38:29,912 --> 00:38:32,962 Um... it's my arms and legs, you know. Muscle aches. 622 00:38:33,082 --> 00:38:34,462 You know, I'm... I'm fine. 623 00:38:34,959 --> 00:38:36,169 Hey, I... 624 00:38:37,420 --> 00:38:38,380 Thank you. 625 00:38:41,048 --> 00:38:42,298 For coming after me. 626 00:38:43,134 --> 00:38:44,014 [Luke] Oh. 627 00:38:45,344 --> 00:38:46,644 [Joey] It means a lot. 628 00:38:47,513 --> 00:38:48,433 You're welcome. 629 00:38:55,646 --> 00:38:56,806 [both chuckle softly] 630 00:38:57,731 --> 00:38:58,731 -What-- -[Joey] It's okay. 631 00:39:08,284 --> 00:39:09,744 What are you doing? 632 00:39:10,828 --> 00:39:12,158 Be back in a flash. 633 00:39:16,041 --> 00:39:16,881 Okay. 634 00:39:39,523 --> 00:39:41,653 Come on, let's... let's keep going. 635 00:39:49,158 --> 00:39:49,988 Joey! 636 00:39:58,375 --> 00:39:59,205 Joey! 637 00:40:08,636 --> 00:40:09,546 Fuck. 638 00:40:10,471 --> 00:40:11,351 Joey! 639 00:40:16,769 --> 00:40:17,599 Joey! 640 00:40:18,771 --> 00:40:20,271 [panting] 641 00:40:26,403 --> 00:40:27,363 Joey! 642 00:40:30,533 --> 00:40:32,543 [indistinct chattering] 643 00:41:14,493 --> 00:41:15,663 [Luke] Luke, addict. 644 00:41:16,328 --> 00:41:17,868 -[all] Hi, Luke. -[Luke] Hi. 645 00:41:19,081 --> 00:41:22,631 I actually don't know what I want to say here. [chuckles] 646 00:41:23,002 --> 00:41:24,212 You know, I've... 647 00:41:24,503 --> 00:41:26,383 I've never had this much time before. 648 00:41:26,672 --> 00:41:27,802 You know, 90 days. 649 00:41:29,883 --> 00:41:31,143 [sighs then chuckles] 650 00:41:32,595 --> 00:41:33,425 Um... 651 00:41:37,391 --> 00:41:38,601 so, here goes. 652 00:41:39,727 --> 00:41:43,607 It's taken me ten years to get 90 days clean. 653 00:41:44,690 --> 00:41:49,360 And I'm starting step four, which is always the one that does me in. 654 00:41:50,988 --> 00:41:54,028 "A fearless moral in-- inventory." Um... 655 00:41:56,535 --> 00:42:00,115 Now, um, I've been called a lot of things in... in my life, 656 00:42:00,205 --> 00:42:03,415 but, uh, "fearless" is-- is not one of them. 657 00:42:05,002 --> 00:42:08,052 You know, I was-- I was always a scared little kid, 658 00:42:08,797 --> 00:42:10,467 and I thought, um... 659 00:42:10,799 --> 00:42:13,889 I thought I'd get braver as I got older, but... 660 00:42:15,137 --> 00:42:16,347 um, I didn't. 661 00:42:17,765 --> 00:42:18,805 I, um... 662 00:42:20,893 --> 00:42:22,563 I just got scared of new things. 663 00:42:25,147 --> 00:42:29,187 My mom, uh, committed suicide when I was six years old. 664 00:42:30,110 --> 00:42:33,410 And my siblings and I, we were sent to live with our aunt, 665 00:42:33,489 --> 00:42:37,279 and, I mean, I was just a kid, you know. I didn't... 666 00:42:38,786 --> 00:42:40,826 I didn't really understand death yet. 667 00:42:40,913 --> 00:42:45,883 So, I, uh... I guess I just expected her to, um... 668 00:42:47,002 --> 00:42:47,842 to come back. 669 00:42:52,007 --> 00:42:53,547 And every night, I'd, um... 670 00:42:55,469 --> 00:42:58,639 I'd stare out my window as the cars came around the corner, 671 00:42:58,722 --> 00:43:02,642 just hoping that one would stop, and my mom would step out, 672 00:43:02,726 --> 00:43:04,396 you know, to come take me home. 673 00:43:05,145 --> 00:43:07,555 Every time I saw those headlights come around the corner, 674 00:43:07,648 --> 00:43:09,818 I'd-- I'd sit up in bed, 675 00:43:09,900 --> 00:43:13,860 um, staring out of my window, just full of hope. 676 00:43:14,321 --> 00:43:17,911 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. 677 00:43:19,785 --> 00:43:22,325 [Luke] But they'd just-- they'd just keep driving. 678 00:43:23,163 --> 00:43:24,083 [chuckles] 679 00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:29,000 Those taillights, they were the worst. 680 00:43:30,087 --> 00:43:32,627 Red eyes in the dark, just taking hope with them. 681 00:43:36,093 --> 00:43:37,593 I mean, Mom, um, 682 00:43:37,678 --> 00:43:39,258 she never came back, of course, 683 00:43:39,346 --> 00:43:41,676 but other things from when I was a kid, they... 684 00:43:41,890 --> 00:43:43,060 they came back. 685 00:43:43,308 --> 00:43:44,728 And I guess that's, uh... 686 00:43:46,061 --> 00:43:49,231 I guess that's why I started using in the first place, you know. 687 00:43:50,399 --> 00:43:51,729 To keep those things away. 688 00:43:56,822 --> 00:43:58,782 And I'd... I'd get clean... 689 00:43:58,866 --> 00:44:00,576 you know, a week, a month. 690 00:44:01,410 --> 00:44:05,080 But I'd always feel 'em, you know, just sneaking back up on me. 691 00:44:05,789 --> 00:44:08,289 -So I'd use. -He's not real. He's not real. 692 00:44:08,792 --> 00:44:11,092 You know, my family, they're not gonna believe this. 693 00:44:11,170 --> 00:44:12,630 They never really believe me. 694 00:44:13,172 --> 00:44:14,552 And I don't blame them. 695 00:44:14,631 --> 00:44:18,341 You know, I fucked them over so many times. Lied... stole. 696 00:44:19,595 --> 00:44:21,885 I mean, come on, you all know what I mean. [chuckles] 697 00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:25,930 And I guess, um... 698 00:44:29,730 --> 00:44:30,770 I guess I'll... 699 00:44:32,566 --> 00:44:36,446 I'll never know how it felt for them to be done like that. 700 00:44:39,865 --> 00:44:40,865 I hope I never know. 701 00:44:44,453 --> 00:44:46,373 [sighs] Uh, sorry, um, 702 00:44:46,455 --> 00:44:49,115 I want to thank, um, my caseworker, Paige. 703 00:44:49,416 --> 00:44:50,246 Um... 704 00:44:50,501 --> 00:44:52,461 and every one at our recovery house. 705 00:44:53,128 --> 00:44:54,958 And someone... [sniffs] 706 00:44:55,756 --> 00:44:59,126 ...someone special, who's always had my back. 707 00:45:00,010 --> 00:45:00,970 Thank you. 708 00:45:02,179 --> 00:45:03,349 Any addict alone... 709 00:45:04,515 --> 00:45:06,055 [all] ...is in bad company. 710 00:45:06,642 --> 00:45:08,232 That's right. [chuckles] 711 00:45:08,769 --> 00:45:09,599 Thank you. 712 00:45:09,686 --> 00:45:11,686 -[chuckles] -[applause] 713 00:45:18,862 --> 00:45:20,282 I... I couldn't help her. 714 00:45:21,990 --> 00:45:23,700 [Paige] We've been waiting for you to call. 715 00:45:24,076 --> 00:45:25,866 There's something I need to tell you. 716 00:45:25,953 --> 00:45:28,793 Listen, I know I fucked up. Okay? 717 00:45:29,373 --> 00:45:31,923 But I-- I didn't-- I didn't use. I didn't. 718 00:45:32,042 --> 00:45:34,252 And-- and I'm so fucking cold, 719 00:45:34,336 --> 00:45:37,166 and my... [shivers] ...and my arms and legs are so stiff. 720 00:45:37,256 --> 00:45:38,256 I just, I... 721 00:45:39,716 --> 00:45:42,296 I-- I need a bed, like a couch. 722 00:45:42,386 --> 00:45:44,636 I'll sleep on the goddamn floor. Just... [shivers] 723 00:45:44,721 --> 00:45:45,561 ...please. 724 00:45:45,889 --> 00:45:48,479 Please, please let me come back. Please. 725 00:45:49,601 --> 00:45:51,441 Where are you? We'll come get you. 726 00:45:53,313 --> 00:45:56,653 [Luke shivering] One, two, three, four, 727 00:45:56,733 --> 00:45:59,193 five, six, seven. 728 00:46:02,030 --> 00:46:06,990 One, two, three, four, five, six, 729 00:46:07,077 --> 00:46:07,947 seven. 730 00:46:08,662 --> 00:46:10,712 [Young Nell whimpering] 731 00:46:13,333 --> 00:46:15,213 [Young Nell sniffles, muttering] 732 00:46:23,886 --> 00:46:24,756 Hey. 733 00:46:26,555 --> 00:46:27,595 You're awake. 734 00:46:27,973 --> 00:46:29,563 Well, yeah, 'cause... 735 00:46:29,808 --> 00:46:30,928 you're awake. 736 00:46:31,518 --> 00:46:32,848 I saw her again. 737 00:46:34,396 --> 00:46:35,646 The Bent-Neck Lady? 738 00:46:47,618 --> 00:46:49,788 Mommy and Daddy don't believe me. 739 00:46:50,787 --> 00:46:51,657 Ever. 740 00:46:54,124 --> 00:46:56,714 They say she's a nightmare, but she's real. 741 00:46:56,793 --> 00:46:58,303 I know she is. 742 00:47:00,839 --> 00:47:02,089 I got an idea. 743 00:47:13,477 --> 00:47:16,937 You need seven, and you set them up like this. 744 00:47:17,981 --> 00:47:19,021 Why seven? 745 00:47:19,858 --> 00:47:21,738 Mom, Dad... 746 00:47:22,319 --> 00:47:24,949 Steven, Shirl, Theo, 747 00:47:25,155 --> 00:47:26,525 you, me. 748 00:47:27,616 --> 00:47:29,196 It has to be seven. 749 00:47:29,910 --> 00:47:33,660 It helps if you touch each one and count out loud. 750 00:47:35,290 --> 00:47:37,460 One... two... 751 00:47:38,043 --> 00:47:39,963 three... four... 752 00:47:40,671 --> 00:47:43,221 five, six, seven. 753 00:47:44,174 --> 00:47:45,594 That keeps you safe. 754 00:47:45,676 --> 00:47:47,886 Sometimes you gotta do it a lot. 755 00:47:47,970 --> 00:47:49,640 Like, a lot, a lot. 756 00:47:50,806 --> 00:47:52,176 Don't forget to count. 757 00:47:54,101 --> 00:47:54,981 One... 758 00:47:56,186 --> 00:47:57,056 two... 759 00:47:57,813 --> 00:47:58,653 three... 760 00:47:58,730 --> 00:48:01,610 [panting] ...four, five, six, seven. 761 00:48:06,321 --> 00:48:09,201 One, two, three, four, 762 00:48:09,282 --> 00:48:11,202 five, six, seven. 763 00:48:15,872 --> 00:48:20,252 One, two, three, four, five, six... 764 00:48:20,460 --> 00:48:22,050 [breathing shakily] 765 00:48:22,379 --> 00:48:23,259 ...seven. 766 00:48:30,887 --> 00:48:36,017 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. 767 00:48:36,351 --> 00:48:41,271 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. 768 00:48:41,565 --> 00:48:44,145 One, two, three... 769 00:48:45,110 --> 00:48:46,950 [panting] 770 00:49:03,462 --> 00:49:04,882 Come home, my love. 771 00:49:12,137 --> 00:49:13,257 [grunts] 772 00:49:25,275 --> 00:49:26,775 -[Luke sighs] -[car door closes] 773 00:49:29,112 --> 00:49:31,322 Steve. [breathing shakily] 774 00:49:34,242 --> 00:49:36,792 [sobbing] I'm so sorry, I didn't... I-- I... 775 00:49:36,995 --> 00:49:39,535 I couldn't-- I couldn't... [sniffles] I couldn't help her. 776 00:49:39,623 --> 00:49:41,373 I couldn't... I couldn't help her. 777 00:49:42,918 --> 00:49:45,248 [sniffles then mumbles indistinctly] 778 00:49:47,589 --> 00:49:51,129 And I'm so-- I'm so-- I'm so cold. I didn't... 779 00:49:52,719 --> 00:49:56,309 [stuttering] My arms and legs are stiff. 780 00:49:56,389 --> 00:49:57,599 And-- and I... 781 00:49:57,766 --> 00:49:58,846 I... 782 00:49:58,934 --> 00:50:00,734 It's-- it's-- it's... 783 00:50:01,144 --> 00:50:03,274 it's like... it's like withdrawal, but... 784 00:50:03,772 --> 00:50:05,772 but I-- I-- I didn't use. 785 00:50:06,525 --> 00:50:08,525 I wa-- I wasn't using, but... 786 00:50:09,402 --> 00:50:10,362 but I... 787 00:50:10,695 --> 00:50:12,315 but I feel it anyway. It's... 788 00:50:12,864 --> 00:50:14,874 [sighs] 789 00:50:15,659 --> 00:50:17,579 You-- you believe me, right? 790 00:50:19,329 --> 00:50:20,789 You gotta come with me. 791 00:50:22,249 --> 00:50:24,209 You gotta come with me, Luke. 792 00:50:24,292 --> 00:50:25,422 What? Why? 793 00:50:25,794 --> 00:50:26,754 It's Nell. 794 00:50:30,590 --> 00:50:31,840 Nell's dead. 795 00:50:44,229 --> 00:50:45,059 How? 796 00:50:46,565 --> 00:50:48,435 It... it was suicide. 797 00:50:57,576 --> 00:50:58,486 [sighs] 798 00:51:02,122 --> 00:51:02,962 No. 799 00:51:04,291 --> 00:51:05,211 Stevie... 800 00:51:10,964 --> 00:51:11,924 it wasn't.