1 00:00:14,786 --> 00:00:16,616 [theme music playing] 2 00:01:19,309 --> 00:01:21,769 [woman] The big question is, how aggressive do you want to be? 3 00:01:22,395 --> 00:01:25,015 [Leigh] Very aggressive. We don't want to lose any more time. 4 00:01:25,106 --> 00:01:27,896 You've been trying for... two years? 5 00:01:28,276 --> 00:01:29,106 {\an8}And four months. 6 00:01:30,195 --> 00:01:33,485 {\an8}Uh, I have the app monitoring ovulation, 7 00:01:33,907 --> 00:01:35,617 taking temperature and mucus levels, 8 00:01:35,700 --> 00:01:38,540 we've been, uh, planning and pacing intercourse. 9 00:01:38,703 --> 00:01:40,293 It's been very romantic. 10 00:01:41,706 --> 00:01:43,706 So we're looking at IUI or IVF. 11 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,630 IUI is the least invasive. And outpatient. 12 00:01:46,711 --> 00:01:47,591 IUI...? 13 00:01:48,671 --> 00:01:50,761 Didn't you read the thing? I told you to. 14 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:52,220 [doctor] Intrauterine insemination. 15 00:01:52,300 --> 00:01:54,090 The sperm are injected into the uterus. 16 00:01:54,177 --> 00:01:56,507 -And yes, it's outpatient -Let's start there. 17 00:01:56,888 --> 00:01:58,768 -[doctor] You're 39, Steven? -Mm-hmm. 18 00:01:59,057 --> 00:02:02,097 Okay, we'll test your sperm for count and motility percentage. 19 00:02:02,185 --> 00:02:05,055 And how far away are we from your period, Leigh? 20 00:02:05,146 --> 00:02:07,436 It's unpredictable. A week, maybe ten days. 21 00:02:07,774 --> 00:02:09,614 [doctor] Your cycle's unpredictable? 22 00:02:10,693 --> 00:02:11,653 Is that a problem? 23 00:02:12,403 --> 00:02:13,913 [doctor] Possibly, possibly not. 24 00:02:13,988 --> 00:02:16,118 That and your age are all factors. 25 00:02:16,199 --> 00:02:18,989 Over 35, the situation becomes more difficult. 26 00:02:19,494 --> 00:02:21,124 But very often, it's manageable. 27 00:02:21,287 --> 00:02:23,617 But it might be likely that, based on your test results, 28 00:02:23,706 --> 00:02:25,116 we go straight to in vitro. 29 00:02:25,625 --> 00:02:28,875 -[Leigh] Will Insurance help with that? -[doctor] Most companies won't cover IVF, 30 00:02:28,962 --> 00:02:32,262 but very often, the genetic testing for the man will be covered. 31 00:02:32,340 --> 00:02:34,260 -Oh, that sounds fair. -[doctor and Leigh chuckle] 32 00:02:34,384 --> 00:02:37,104 [doctor] All right, so, Steven, when can we schedule your tests? 33 00:02:37,178 --> 00:02:38,348 Which tests? 34 00:02:39,389 --> 00:02:41,719 A blood panel for chromosomal diagnosis, 35 00:02:41,808 --> 00:02:42,928 a sample of your semen. 36 00:02:43,017 --> 00:02:44,597 When did you last ejaculate? 37 00:02:45,436 --> 00:02:46,346 A week. 38 00:02:47,105 --> 00:02:47,935 Maybe less. 39 00:02:48,147 --> 00:02:49,227 No, it's two weeks. 40 00:02:49,774 --> 00:02:50,614 When-- 41 00:02:52,402 --> 00:02:53,282 Ah. 42 00:02:53,361 --> 00:02:55,321 [doctor] We'll need to reschedule it. 43 00:02:55,822 --> 00:02:57,372 We need within three to five days after. 44 00:03:02,036 --> 00:03:03,996 Homework, honey. [chuckles] 45 00:03:07,375 --> 00:03:08,575 [sighs] 46 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:10,090 We gotta talk. 47 00:03:11,796 --> 00:03:12,706 About what? 48 00:03:14,299 --> 00:03:15,219 Steve? 49 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:18,590 Steve! 50 00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:20,561 Steve. 51 00:03:22,056 --> 00:03:23,216 Steve! 52 00:03:26,853 --> 00:03:28,403 Oh. I'm sorry. 53 00:03:30,606 --> 00:03:32,776 -I'll just put it there. -I can fix this. 54 00:03:32,859 --> 00:03:36,239 [Shirley] No, I don't want to cancel it, I just wanted a usage alert. 55 00:03:36,904 --> 00:03:39,124 So you'll text me next time it's used? 56 00:03:40,616 --> 00:03:41,696 Okay. Thanks. 57 00:03:42,910 --> 00:03:44,410 He hasn't used the credit card yet. 58 00:03:44,495 --> 00:03:46,365 They're going to send me an alert when he does. 59 00:03:46,456 --> 00:03:48,116 We can get a location from that. 60 00:03:48,708 --> 00:03:50,458 God, I hope he... 61 00:03:50,877 --> 00:03:54,047 just tries an ATM and doesn't trade the card for dope. 62 00:03:54,380 --> 00:03:55,300 Does he have your PIN? 63 00:03:56,007 --> 00:03:56,877 Are you kidding? 64 00:03:56,966 --> 00:03:58,336 Why would he try an ATM? 65 00:03:58,634 --> 00:04:01,304 I'm sorry, Steve. Do you have a better suggestion? 66 00:04:01,554 --> 00:04:03,604 He took the card to use the card, 67 00:04:03,681 --> 00:04:05,181 and now we'll know if he does. 68 00:04:07,935 --> 00:04:09,805 He didn't have to break the house. 69 00:04:10,146 --> 00:04:12,066 [Hugh] No, I don't think he did. 70 00:04:12,357 --> 00:04:13,397 Me neither. 71 00:04:13,524 --> 00:04:15,614 Someone ask you what you think, Theodora? 72 00:04:16,277 --> 00:04:17,107 Sorry. 73 00:04:17,695 --> 00:04:21,065 -[Shirley] If it wasn't Luke, who was it? -[Steve] Maybe one of your kids. 74 00:04:21,324 --> 00:04:24,044 [Shirley] Yeah, that makes sense. It was probably my kids. 75 00:04:24,285 --> 00:04:27,245 Or maybe it was the guy who just stole a car 76 00:04:27,330 --> 00:04:28,500 to put a needle in his arm. 77 00:04:28,581 --> 00:04:30,381 I'm worried about a lot more than that. 78 00:04:30,458 --> 00:04:31,578 What do you mean? 79 00:04:31,667 --> 00:04:35,337 I mean, that suicides can cluster in families, 80 00:04:35,671 --> 00:04:36,841 especially twins. 81 00:04:37,757 --> 00:04:39,297 If they lose a twin, 82 00:04:39,675 --> 00:04:40,925 the odds go up. 83 00:04:41,677 --> 00:04:45,097 He may not be planning to come home. 84 00:04:46,432 --> 00:04:49,482 -Where-- Where would he go? -[Shirley] He could be anywhere. 85 00:04:50,812 --> 00:04:54,232 He was picked up off Mass Ave a few times when he was living here. 86 00:04:54,816 --> 00:04:56,146 Methadone Mile. 87 00:04:56,984 --> 00:04:59,364 -What's that? -Mass Ave, south of downtown. 88 00:04:59,445 --> 00:05:02,065 It's basically an open-air drug market. 89 00:05:02,615 --> 00:05:03,525 I remember it. 90 00:05:04,409 --> 00:05:06,739 -I'll go look for him. -[Shirley] It's a waste of gas. 91 00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:08,908 -He could be anywhere. -Yeah, I'll-- I'll go with you. 92 00:05:08,996 --> 00:05:11,166 -I got this. -[Shirley] Just wait a bit. 93 00:05:11,249 --> 00:05:13,329 -We'll see if he's using the card. -[Steve] Call me if he does. 94 00:05:13,418 --> 00:05:15,088 [Shirley] Are you gonna drive in circles? 95 00:05:15,169 --> 00:05:18,299 -Hope he's standing on some corner? -[Steve] Maybe, I don't know. 96 00:05:18,881 --> 00:05:21,051 We're really not gonna tell them what we saw? 97 00:05:22,718 --> 00:05:23,678 [scoffs] 98 00:05:25,888 --> 00:05:26,888 Damn it, Luke. 99 00:05:28,599 --> 00:05:29,599 [sighs angrily] 100 00:05:35,481 --> 00:05:36,521 We going or what? 101 00:05:37,984 --> 00:05:38,994 I just want to help. 102 00:05:41,404 --> 00:05:42,744 [young Steve] I just want to help. 103 00:05:44,365 --> 00:05:45,945 Look, bud, I know you do, 104 00:05:46,451 --> 00:05:49,541 {\an8}but I'm gonna start using some really strong chemicals down here, 105 00:05:49,620 --> 00:05:50,910 and it just isn't safe. 106 00:05:51,497 --> 00:05:52,957 I can help with something else, then. 107 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:54,460 Look, pal, 108 00:05:55,793 --> 00:05:57,633 I've already hired all the help I can afford 109 00:05:57,712 --> 00:05:59,922 just to get everything else finished by the end of summer. 110 00:06:02,675 --> 00:06:05,005 I could use your help with something, though. 111 00:06:05,094 --> 00:06:06,184 -Yeah? -Yeah. 112 00:06:07,180 --> 00:06:10,890 See, your mom's gonna go to your Aunt Janet's in a few days... 113 00:06:11,434 --> 00:06:12,444 and stay a bit. 114 00:06:12,768 --> 00:06:13,808 Maybe a week. 115 00:06:14,604 --> 00:06:15,484 How come? 116 00:06:16,689 --> 00:06:19,939 Well, you know, she's been cooped up in this house all summer, and... 117 00:06:20,735 --> 00:06:22,695 Anyway, I know it's not the most exciting thing, 118 00:06:22,778 --> 00:06:25,108 but I could really use your help 119 00:06:25,198 --> 00:06:27,738 watching your brother and your sisters while she's away. 120 00:06:28,701 --> 00:06:29,541 Yeah. 121 00:06:29,744 --> 00:06:30,754 Yeah, I got you. 122 00:06:31,162 --> 00:06:32,082 Okay. 123 00:06:35,249 --> 00:06:36,629 [indistinct chatter] 124 00:06:36,751 --> 00:06:40,051 [hammering] 125 00:06:45,301 --> 00:06:47,301 [gentle tapping] 126 00:07:02,985 --> 00:07:03,815 Mom? 127 00:07:04,070 --> 00:07:06,110 [Olivia] What do you mean, sweetheart? 128 00:07:06,697 --> 00:07:08,617 Of course you're safe with me. 129 00:07:09,450 --> 00:07:10,540 -Mom. -[gasps] 130 00:07:12,745 --> 00:07:13,615 Are you okay? 131 00:07:15,831 --> 00:07:16,671 Where... 132 00:07:16,749 --> 00:07:17,919 Where are the twins? 133 00:07:18,251 --> 00:07:19,251 Downstairs. 134 00:07:20,419 --> 00:07:21,249 [sighs] 135 00:07:22,255 --> 00:07:23,205 Of course. 136 00:07:23,589 --> 00:07:25,969 -Are you sure--? -I'm fine, sweetie. I'm fine. 137 00:07:29,220 --> 00:07:30,430 [zapping] 138 00:07:32,265 --> 00:07:33,215 [beeping] 139 00:07:40,106 --> 00:07:42,106 [upbeat melody playing] 140 00:07:52,618 --> 00:07:53,618 Okay, thanks. 141 00:07:55,121 --> 00:07:57,371 Well, he's-- he's not at Holy Family. 142 00:07:57,498 --> 00:08:00,038 Well, he's probably not gonna instantly OD. 143 00:08:00,209 --> 00:08:03,249 You're gonna call every hospital in Boston? That the plan? 144 00:08:03,337 --> 00:08:06,627 What, you're gonna just drive around, hope we spot him in a city of 700,000? 145 00:08:06,716 --> 00:08:10,046 I'm not looking for him. I'm looking for a beat-up green Jeep 146 00:08:10,136 --> 00:08:12,756 with not one, but two, Ani DiFranco bumper stickers, 147 00:08:12,847 --> 00:08:14,887 and I'm looking for it where I know he used to score. 148 00:08:15,683 --> 00:08:16,933 Gotta do something. 149 00:08:17,685 --> 00:08:18,685 Yeah, we do. 150 00:08:21,897 --> 00:08:23,607 -So, um... -[Steve sighs] 151 00:08:24,775 --> 00:08:25,855 What's going on? 152 00:08:26,068 --> 00:08:28,278 -Hmm? -What's going on with you and Leigh? 153 00:08:28,362 --> 00:08:29,412 What do you mean? 154 00:08:29,989 --> 00:08:30,989 Well, I mean... 155 00:08:31,991 --> 00:08:35,371 -how's your marriage? -[chuckling] You're kidding, right? 156 00:08:35,453 --> 00:08:36,583 You're not living at home, 157 00:08:36,662 --> 00:08:38,462 and I couldn't help but notice at the funeral-- 158 00:08:38,539 --> 00:08:41,459 -You aren't seriously doing this. -Well, yeah, I am. I-- 159 00:08:41,542 --> 00:08:43,922 Jesus Christ, Dad, you're out of line. 160 00:08:44,128 --> 00:08:47,468 We might be in the car for a while, and so I thought to myself, 161 00:08:47,548 --> 00:08:50,048 "I'm going to ask my son about his life." What's wrong with that? 162 00:08:50,134 --> 00:08:51,514 Doesn't work that way, Dad. 163 00:08:54,805 --> 00:08:57,015 Your mom and I were married 15 years. 164 00:08:59,644 --> 00:09:01,484 Together five before that. 165 00:09:04,190 --> 00:09:06,820 She used to say she was the kite and I was the line. 166 00:09:06,984 --> 00:09:10,074 She was a... creature of the clouds 167 00:09:10,154 --> 00:09:13,244 and... and I was a creature of the earth. 168 00:09:14,575 --> 00:09:17,495 And she'd say that, without me, she'd become untethered 169 00:09:17,578 --> 00:09:19,538 and she would float away up into the... 170 00:09:20,456 --> 00:09:22,916 And then, without her, I would just, you know, 171 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,290 crash, just drop right down to the ground, 172 00:09:25,378 --> 00:09:26,748 and, you know. 173 00:09:27,004 --> 00:09:30,134 But... together... [chuckles] 174 00:09:31,342 --> 00:09:32,342 ...we... 175 00:09:37,807 --> 00:09:39,057 You know, we separated. 176 00:09:39,684 --> 00:09:41,604 You... You didn't know that, probably. 177 00:09:42,853 --> 00:09:45,363 Briefly, we separated. You were one year old. 178 00:09:46,107 --> 00:09:47,687 Stupidest thing I ever did. 179 00:09:47,775 --> 00:09:50,355 You know, I made some stupid proclamation, and that was it. 180 00:09:50,444 --> 00:09:51,454 Two weeks. 181 00:09:52,780 --> 00:09:56,280 Two weeks. I don't even know how we got there. I just know we fought. 182 00:09:56,367 --> 00:10:00,247 I don't know what we fought about, but I finally came to my senses, and... 183 00:10:02,248 --> 00:10:05,958 [sighs] I thought, "What the hell, you stupid asshole. What are you, insane?" 184 00:10:06,085 --> 00:10:08,545 So, you know, I came back and knocked on the door, 185 00:10:08,629 --> 00:10:10,839 she answered it, she put her arms around me, 186 00:10:10,965 --> 00:10:13,465 she kissed me, she forgave me with her eyes, and... 187 00:10:14,927 --> 00:10:15,797 She handed you to me. 188 00:10:15,886 --> 00:10:18,806 I had you in one arm and her in the other, and that was it. 189 00:10:19,849 --> 00:10:20,979 [chuckles softly] 190 00:10:23,185 --> 00:10:24,145 We were back at it. 191 00:10:26,105 --> 00:10:27,935 And Shirley came along, and... 192 00:10:29,191 --> 00:10:31,071 from that moment on, we were on the same team. 193 00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:33,032 You know, we still fought sometimes, 194 00:10:33,779 --> 00:10:34,739 but it was... 195 00:10:35,072 --> 00:10:38,202 it was different. We fought with love. She taught me that. 196 00:10:38,701 --> 00:10:39,831 You fight with love. 197 00:10:40,161 --> 00:10:41,251 Yeah, when you're... 198 00:10:43,622 --> 00:10:46,422 You're on the same team even when you're in the middle of a fight. 199 00:10:46,876 --> 00:10:47,746 During the fight, 200 00:10:48,502 --> 00:10:50,052 you're... you're forgiven. 201 00:10:50,254 --> 00:10:52,634 There's no fear. There's no danger. You're safe. 202 00:10:54,091 --> 00:10:56,891 I hope, really, you get to experience that sometime. 203 00:10:57,136 --> 00:10:58,096 It's a... 204 00:10:58,596 --> 00:10:59,966 It's a beautiful way to be. 205 00:11:03,350 --> 00:11:05,230 You know, look, we weren't perfect... 206 00:11:07,396 --> 00:11:08,976 but we were always kind. 207 00:11:09,607 --> 00:11:12,067 And we loved each other hard. 208 00:11:13,944 --> 00:11:17,114 And I love her today just as much as I did in the beginning. 209 00:11:20,743 --> 00:11:21,913 The kite and the line. 210 00:11:26,332 --> 00:11:29,132 So whatever you need to fix between you and Leigh... 211 00:11:31,337 --> 00:11:33,087 I really-- I really hope you do. 212 00:11:36,675 --> 00:11:37,585 And, uh... 213 00:11:39,512 --> 00:11:41,972 That's all I... That's all I really wanted to say. 214 00:11:45,392 --> 00:11:47,602 [Allie] Candy, candy, candy, candy! 215 00:11:47,853 --> 00:11:49,363 Sure you won't come with us? 216 00:11:49,438 --> 00:11:50,398 You guys have fun. 217 00:11:50,481 --> 00:11:52,271 Come on, Mom, candy! 218 00:11:52,358 --> 00:11:54,778 We'll bring her back some. Mom's had a very hard day. 219 00:11:55,194 --> 00:11:56,614 Would you stop that? 220 00:11:57,279 --> 00:11:59,619 I'm still disappointed you're not going as Captain Lame. 221 00:11:59,740 --> 00:12:01,620 [sighs] I swear to God, Dad. 222 00:12:01,700 --> 00:12:03,160 [Allie] Candy, candy, candy! 223 00:12:03,828 --> 00:12:04,658 Hey. 224 00:12:05,788 --> 00:12:06,998 Can we talk when I get back? 225 00:12:08,082 --> 00:12:10,212 How? You'll be back at the hotel. 226 00:12:11,502 --> 00:12:12,382 Okay. 227 00:12:13,712 --> 00:12:14,592 Okay, Shirl. 228 00:12:16,507 --> 00:12:17,417 Stop. 229 00:12:18,008 --> 00:12:19,678 -Let's go. -[Shirley] Turn off the porch light. 230 00:12:20,010 --> 00:12:21,760 I can't handle trick-or-treaters tonight. 231 00:12:24,765 --> 00:12:25,595 I love you. 232 00:12:27,184 --> 00:12:28,354 You guys have fun. 233 00:12:36,777 --> 00:12:40,447 -[pieces clattering] -[sighs] 234 00:12:59,174 --> 00:13:00,264 What the hell? 235 00:13:02,094 --> 00:13:03,264 [doorbell rings] 236 00:13:10,019 --> 00:13:11,399 [doorbell rings] 237 00:13:13,147 --> 00:13:14,647 Sorry, no candy here. 238 00:13:18,652 --> 00:13:19,952 [doorbell rings] 239 00:13:22,364 --> 00:13:23,824 Goddamn light's off. 240 00:13:30,706 --> 00:13:32,166 [insects chirping] 241 00:13:45,512 --> 00:13:47,312 [Hugh] I'm gonna call the hospitals again. 242 00:13:47,389 --> 00:13:49,809 -Maybe he just forgot his ID. -[Steve] And ask them what? 243 00:13:49,892 --> 00:13:51,692 If they've seen a junkie in a funeral suit? 244 00:13:51,769 --> 00:13:54,059 He's 90 days clean and he's your brother. 245 00:13:54,146 --> 00:13:55,356 He's a good man, Steve. 246 00:13:55,439 --> 00:13:59,529 They're not mutually exclusive. He's my brother, but he's a junkie. 247 00:14:02,196 --> 00:14:04,106 We're not gonna find him like this. 248 00:14:04,281 --> 00:14:05,821 -You didn't have to come. -Yeah, I did. 249 00:14:05,908 --> 00:14:08,078 -No, you really didn't. -Yeah, I did, Steve. 250 00:14:10,496 --> 00:14:12,286 He's my son. You know? My... 251 00:14:12,623 --> 00:14:15,463 I don't know what I'd do if I lost him, any of you. 252 00:14:15,751 --> 00:14:16,671 [scoffs] 253 00:14:18,545 --> 00:14:19,875 Yeah, I had to come. 254 00:14:21,215 --> 00:14:23,045 I can't... I can't lose... 255 00:14:24,301 --> 00:14:26,261 I can't lose anyone else. [sighs] 256 00:14:28,347 --> 00:14:30,427 One day, when you have children, you'll understand. 257 00:14:30,516 --> 00:14:32,426 [scoffs] I'm never having children. 258 00:14:33,769 --> 00:14:35,849 Well, that's... that's a shame. 259 00:14:36,939 --> 00:14:39,399 'Cause you kids are the best thing in my life. 260 00:14:39,608 --> 00:14:41,148 You mean Aunt Janet's life? 261 00:14:41,527 --> 00:14:43,357 She's the one who raised your kids, didn't she? 262 00:14:43,445 --> 00:14:45,525 -You don't know what it was like. -You never told me. 263 00:14:45,614 --> 00:14:47,284 Everything I did, I did to protect you. 264 00:14:47,366 --> 00:14:49,156 To protect us, I know, yeah. 265 00:14:49,243 --> 00:14:50,703 Just like you protected Mom. 266 00:14:52,871 --> 00:14:53,791 Here we go. 267 00:14:53,998 --> 00:14:55,538 I saw the police reports. 268 00:14:58,252 --> 00:15:01,922 -Her skull cracked like a melon-- -All right, Steve, why don't you just--? 269 00:15:02,006 --> 00:15:04,756 There was blood all over the library carpet. 270 00:15:05,050 --> 00:15:07,470 There were bruises on her upper arms 271 00:15:07,553 --> 00:15:09,973 because someone grabbed her pretty hard. 272 00:15:10,055 --> 00:15:10,965 Okay, Steve-- 273 00:15:11,056 --> 00:15:14,726 And a contusion on the back of her head from being shoved into a wall? 274 00:15:16,145 --> 00:15:18,355 Her ankle was twisted, so she was limping, 275 00:15:18,439 --> 00:15:20,769 she was bruised to hell, depressed out of her mind, 276 00:15:20,858 --> 00:15:23,988 unmedicated, untreated, and abandoned. 277 00:15:24,069 --> 00:15:25,569 It wasn't like that. 278 00:15:25,654 --> 00:15:27,784 I did my best. You have no idea-- 279 00:15:27,865 --> 00:15:30,075 You threw us in a car, you left her there alone, 280 00:15:30,159 --> 00:15:32,699 and she threw herself off the goddamn staircase, 281 00:15:32,786 --> 00:15:33,826 and that was your best? 282 00:15:33,912 --> 00:15:36,502 All right, well, she should not have been left alone in the house-- 283 00:15:36,582 --> 00:15:39,292 Fuck the house. It wasn't the house. She was sick. 284 00:15:39,877 --> 00:15:42,417 She was sick in her mind, and the one person, 285 00:15:42,504 --> 00:15:44,884 the one person that was supposed to take care of her 286 00:15:44,965 --> 00:15:47,835 didn't do a goddamn thing to get her help. 287 00:15:49,261 --> 00:15:50,301 [sighs] 288 00:15:53,682 --> 00:15:54,642 I miss her. 289 00:15:57,436 --> 00:15:58,686 I miss my mom. 290 00:16:02,733 --> 00:16:03,903 I miss her too. 291 00:16:07,780 --> 00:16:10,200 It's certainly beautiful. Where did you find it? 292 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:12,080 The game room. 293 00:16:12,910 --> 00:16:14,450 -The what room? -Upstairs. 294 00:16:14,536 --> 00:16:17,286 You know, I think a little paint, maybe fix those doors, 295 00:16:17,372 --> 00:16:19,882 -and she might really love it. -I'm sure she will. 296 00:16:20,793 --> 00:16:22,923 So do you know where the paint and stuff is? 297 00:16:23,087 --> 00:16:26,127 -Why don't you ask your father? -I did. He's busy. 298 00:16:26,256 --> 00:16:29,086 He said if it wasn't tagged for sale, I could do whatever I wanted. 299 00:16:29,176 --> 00:16:30,676 And it's not tagged for sale. 300 00:16:31,595 --> 00:16:33,845 Well, I do know where some paint is. 301 00:16:38,477 --> 00:16:39,727 [sighs] I thought so. 302 00:16:40,395 --> 00:16:42,225 This must have been Poppy's. 303 00:16:42,731 --> 00:16:43,611 Poppy? 304 00:16:44,983 --> 00:16:46,033 Poppy Hill. 305 00:16:47,277 --> 00:16:48,697 She was William's wife. 306 00:16:49,655 --> 00:16:50,855 She was insane. 307 00:16:51,365 --> 00:16:53,155 Yeah, she looks kind of wild. 308 00:16:53,617 --> 00:16:54,907 No, I mean clinically. 309 00:16:55,410 --> 00:16:56,330 So was he. 310 00:16:57,496 --> 00:17:00,456 William's parents sent him to an institution when he was a kid. 311 00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:03,541 They called it private school, but it wasn't a school, though. 312 00:17:03,627 --> 00:17:06,757 It was just a place where rich parents hid their embarrassments. 313 00:17:08,298 --> 00:17:10,508 They met in the mental institution. 314 00:17:10,884 --> 00:17:12,644 They fell in love in an asylum. 315 00:17:13,011 --> 00:17:14,391 She was insane. 316 00:17:15,889 --> 00:17:16,889 Did you know her? 317 00:17:18,267 --> 00:17:19,307 Oh, yes. 318 00:17:19,977 --> 00:17:22,647 She was just as crazy, just older. [scoffs] 319 00:17:23,939 --> 00:17:27,859 She was a beautiful young woman in her time, though. 320 00:17:29,194 --> 00:17:30,454 No doubt about that. 321 00:17:39,288 --> 00:17:41,958 If you really want this to be a surprise for your mom, 322 00:17:42,708 --> 00:17:44,878 I'd suggest you don't work on it in your room. 323 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:48,760 [video game zapping and beeping] 324 00:18:28,879 --> 00:18:30,129 [doorbell rings] 325 00:18:32,216 --> 00:18:33,546 [breathing deeply] 326 00:18:34,051 --> 00:18:35,391 [doorbell rings] 327 00:18:43,227 --> 00:18:46,017 Just take the fucking candy and go. 328 00:18:51,860 --> 00:18:52,820 [knocking at door] 329 00:18:53,362 --> 00:18:54,532 [inhales sharply] 330 00:19:06,124 --> 00:19:07,084 [door closes] 331 00:19:07,584 --> 00:19:08,674 You're very clever. 332 00:19:09,711 --> 00:19:11,341 How about you try another house? 333 00:19:11,421 --> 00:19:13,051 I'm not in the fucking mood! 334 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:21,680 [sighs] 335 00:19:23,350 --> 00:19:24,350 [gasps] 336 00:19:29,147 --> 00:19:30,147 [knocking at door] 337 00:19:38,824 --> 00:19:39,874 [urgent knocking] 338 00:19:40,659 --> 00:19:41,539 [sighs] 339 00:19:44,413 --> 00:19:46,213 What the fuck do you want? 340 00:19:48,417 --> 00:19:49,787 Um... Oh. 341 00:19:50,877 --> 00:19:52,627 I was just coming to apologize. 342 00:19:54,506 --> 00:19:55,756 Who are you yelling at? 343 00:19:57,676 --> 00:19:59,046 Some fucking kids are... 344 00:20:00,512 --> 00:20:01,352 Just forget it. 345 00:20:09,021 --> 00:20:10,361 -Wait. -Not now. 346 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,020 -I can explain. -I doubt that. 347 00:20:12,274 --> 00:20:14,784 -Shouldn't you be packing? -I know what it looked like last night. 348 00:20:14,860 --> 00:20:18,160 -You were making out with my husband. -No. No, there was no actual... 349 00:20:18,238 --> 00:20:21,408 Okay, so from what I can remember, which isn't a lot actually, 350 00:20:21,491 --> 00:20:22,411 he pushed me away. 351 00:20:22,492 --> 00:20:24,952 -Is that supposed to make this better? -It wasn't even him. 352 00:20:25,203 --> 00:20:28,123 It wasn't... I didn't see him. It wasn't about him. 353 00:20:28,206 --> 00:20:30,326 It's about you getting out of my guest house 354 00:20:30,417 --> 00:20:31,667 and off my fucking property. 355 00:20:31,752 --> 00:20:34,922 -If you would just let me talk. -I don't care what you have to say. 356 00:20:35,005 --> 00:20:37,295 Don't you understand? Get out! 357 00:20:37,382 --> 00:20:38,842 You are impossible. Do you know that? 358 00:20:38,925 --> 00:20:40,295 I'm sorry, have I offended you? 359 00:20:40,385 --> 00:20:43,095 You are always throwing it in my face that I live in your guest house. 360 00:20:43,180 --> 00:20:44,100 Won't happen again. 361 00:20:44,181 --> 00:20:46,061 I choose to live there, Shirley. 362 00:20:46,141 --> 00:20:49,061 -With you, for you. -Oh, I can't thank you enough. 363 00:20:49,144 --> 00:20:50,314 You ice people out. 364 00:20:50,395 --> 00:20:51,305 You always have. 365 00:20:51,396 --> 00:20:52,646 I ice people out? 366 00:20:52,731 --> 00:20:54,111 Have you met yourself? 367 00:20:54,191 --> 00:20:56,821 And so I chose to live there to help try and keep you warm. 368 00:20:56,902 --> 00:20:58,572 You fucking suck at apologies. 369 00:20:58,653 --> 00:21:02,163 I don't have to live in your guest house. I'm not some bohemian weirdo. 370 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:03,330 I'm an adult. 371 00:21:03,450 --> 00:21:04,950 I am a fucking doctor. 372 00:21:05,035 --> 00:21:06,495 You're a fucking slut. 373 00:21:08,121 --> 00:21:09,331 I just need you to know 374 00:21:09,831 --> 00:21:11,961 that it wasn't Kevin's fault and he didn't do anything-- 375 00:21:12,042 --> 00:21:14,342 Don't you fucking dare defend my husband. 376 00:21:14,419 --> 00:21:17,049 All of us, all of us are just always helping you 377 00:21:17,130 --> 00:21:19,930 keep up this idea in your head that you're perfect Shirley, 378 00:21:20,008 --> 00:21:21,968 and we're just a bunch of fuck-ups fucking up. 379 00:21:22,052 --> 00:21:24,392 -Perfect Shirley's perfect fucking life-- -Out! 380 00:21:24,930 --> 00:21:25,850 No! 381 00:21:25,931 --> 00:21:28,181 You do not just get to shut me out of your-- 382 00:21:30,352 --> 00:21:31,482 [gasps] 383 00:21:33,021 --> 00:21:34,731 Did you just punch me in the boob? 384 00:21:36,608 --> 00:21:37,438 Yeah. 385 00:21:38,527 --> 00:21:39,437 Yeah! 386 00:21:40,278 --> 00:21:42,318 If you kiss my husband, that's what you get. 387 00:21:42,406 --> 00:21:44,486 You get punched in the fucking boob. 388 00:21:45,117 --> 00:21:46,027 And you get evicted 389 00:21:46,118 --> 00:21:47,868 -from my fucking house. -[knocking on door] 390 00:21:50,205 --> 00:21:51,495 [pounding on door] 391 00:22:05,512 --> 00:22:06,852 [pounding at door] 392 00:22:07,222 --> 00:22:08,432 [gasps] 393 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:09,850 [knocking at window] 394 00:22:13,019 --> 00:22:14,309 [banging on window] 395 00:22:16,690 --> 00:22:18,440 [rhythmic banging on window] 396 00:22:19,234 --> 00:22:21,404 [loud banging on door and windows] 397 00:22:23,655 --> 00:22:25,155 [crashing at door] 398 00:22:29,744 --> 00:22:30,704 [banging stops] 399 00:22:40,922 --> 00:22:41,972 [cell phone ringing] 400 00:22:51,725 --> 00:22:52,885 [car horn blaring] 401 00:22:54,769 --> 00:22:56,189 [cell phone ringing] 402 00:22:57,481 --> 00:22:58,321 Shirl? 403 00:22:59,107 --> 00:23:00,147 What's up? 404 00:23:00,984 --> 00:23:02,074 [Shirley] They... 405 00:23:04,362 --> 00:23:05,282 Sorry, they... 406 00:23:06,990 --> 00:23:08,030 They got a hit. 407 00:23:09,367 --> 00:23:11,867 He used the card at a gas station. 408 00:23:12,954 --> 00:23:14,754 202, just east of Amherst. 409 00:23:16,041 --> 00:23:16,881 Amherst? 410 00:23:17,209 --> 00:23:18,039 Um... 411 00:23:18,210 --> 00:23:19,920 Can you text me the address? 412 00:23:23,340 --> 00:23:24,720 -Shirl? -Yeah. 413 00:23:25,008 --> 00:23:27,008 I'm here. Sorry. Uh... 414 00:23:28,011 --> 00:23:30,141 Yeah, I'll... I'll text you the address. 415 00:23:31,223 --> 00:23:33,933 -Amherst is on the way-- -[Hugh] Yeah, I know where it is. 416 00:23:34,017 --> 00:23:36,347 You guys are gonna stay there. We're gonna go to Amherst. 417 00:23:36,436 --> 00:23:39,766 I'm saying, if he's stopping in Amherst, he's heading-- 418 00:23:39,856 --> 00:23:41,936 Shirley, listen to me, you're gonna stay put. 419 00:23:42,025 --> 00:23:43,855 -You hear me? -Tell them what happened. 420 00:23:44,903 --> 00:23:46,453 Tell them what just happened. 421 00:23:47,989 --> 00:23:49,119 I'll text you. 422 00:23:50,951 --> 00:23:53,541 Some fucking kids playing a prank is what happened. 423 00:23:53,620 --> 00:23:54,620 You know it wasn't. 424 00:23:55,288 --> 00:23:56,158 You know that. 425 00:23:57,624 --> 00:24:00,844 That's not the only thing like that that's happened here tonight. 426 00:24:05,090 --> 00:24:07,550 I think Luke is going to the house. 427 00:24:08,510 --> 00:24:10,470 [Steve] Of course he is. [sighs] 428 00:24:10,554 --> 00:24:12,514 The goddamn house. 429 00:24:13,098 --> 00:24:16,228 It was a good enough spot for Nell, it's a good enough spot for Luke. 430 00:24:16,309 --> 00:24:18,689 He always wanted to do what she did his whole life. 431 00:24:18,770 --> 00:24:20,020 -You think you know. -Uh-huh. 432 00:24:20,105 --> 00:24:22,015 And you just don't, you don't understand. 433 00:24:22,107 --> 00:24:23,937 Last time I saw Mom, 434 00:24:24,693 --> 00:24:25,993 the look in her eye, 435 00:24:26,403 --> 00:24:27,493 I've seen that look. 436 00:24:27,904 --> 00:24:31,034 In Nell over the years, and Luke, from the start, 437 00:24:31,116 --> 00:24:34,616 from when he'd sit there drawing crazy ghouls in his tree house. 438 00:24:34,703 --> 00:24:37,123 And, hell, I've seen that look in the mirror. 439 00:24:39,457 --> 00:24:41,957 Our family has a disease that's never been treated, 440 00:24:42,043 --> 00:24:44,593 because it was easier to listen to your crazy stories 441 00:24:44,671 --> 00:24:45,711 about an evil house. 442 00:24:48,216 --> 00:24:49,506 You think you saw it in the mirror? 443 00:24:49,593 --> 00:24:51,303 That's why you think you'll never have kids? 444 00:24:51,386 --> 00:24:52,926 Oh, I know I'm never having children. 445 00:24:53,013 --> 00:24:56,183 Because you think that they'll just have the same imaginary sickness? 446 00:24:56,266 --> 00:24:58,306 They would. We all do. 447 00:24:58,393 --> 00:25:00,773 Nell was delusional, depressed. 448 00:25:00,854 --> 00:25:03,774 Luke's an addict, Shirley is a control freak, 449 00:25:03,857 --> 00:25:06,737 and Theo's basically a clenched fist with hair. 450 00:25:07,569 --> 00:25:10,359 The whole fucking family is on the brink of a breakdown 451 00:25:10,447 --> 00:25:13,617 and seeing things that aren't there, hearing things that aren't there, 452 00:25:13,700 --> 00:25:16,160 and that shit happened after the house. 453 00:25:16,244 --> 00:25:17,414 It's not the house. 454 00:25:17,495 --> 00:25:20,115 There's something wrong with our goddamn brains. 455 00:25:20,498 --> 00:25:22,248 So yeah, I'm never having children. 456 00:25:23,710 --> 00:25:24,750 I made sure. 457 00:25:28,465 --> 00:25:29,295 A vasectomy. 458 00:25:31,843 --> 00:25:32,843 Right out of college. 459 00:25:34,304 --> 00:25:37,394 And it was the right call, believe me, because if I ever doubted it, 460 00:25:37,474 --> 00:25:40,564 some of the bullshit I've been hallucinating this week... 461 00:25:43,146 --> 00:25:44,106 You really did? 462 00:25:45,190 --> 00:25:46,020 Yeah. 463 00:25:48,610 --> 00:25:49,900 Before you met Leigh? 464 00:25:52,530 --> 00:25:53,660 [sighs deeply] 465 00:25:54,074 --> 00:25:54,994 Boy. 466 00:25:56,910 --> 00:25:57,910 You didn't tell her? 467 00:25:59,704 --> 00:26:00,794 You didn't tell her. 468 00:26:02,332 --> 00:26:03,172 No. 469 00:26:05,585 --> 00:26:07,125 She wanted kids, I knew that. 470 00:26:08,129 --> 00:26:11,379 And I kept thinking, "I'll tell her later, now's not the time." 471 00:26:13,343 --> 00:26:16,263 [sighs] But then we were engaged, and then we were married, 472 00:26:16,346 --> 00:26:19,556 and then we were trying, and she was upset it wasn't working. 473 00:26:22,936 --> 00:26:24,226 I couldn't say, 474 00:26:24,813 --> 00:26:26,653 "I can't. My genes... 475 00:26:27,482 --> 00:26:30,152 My genes are rotten, Leigh." 476 00:26:30,235 --> 00:26:31,985 [stammers] So I... I... 477 00:26:34,739 --> 00:26:35,989 I didn't tell her. 478 00:26:37,325 --> 00:26:40,615 And I thought I was being kind, I really thought that. 479 00:26:42,205 --> 00:26:44,955 [sighs] See, we're all fucking crazy. 480 00:26:46,501 --> 00:26:47,751 The crazy Crains. 481 00:26:49,713 --> 00:26:53,303 This sickness already killed two of us, might kill a third tonight. 482 00:26:53,717 --> 00:26:54,717 That's... 483 00:26:55,719 --> 00:26:56,799 almost half. 484 00:26:59,013 --> 00:27:00,353 It'd be almost half of us. 485 00:27:02,183 --> 00:27:03,233 [sighs] 486 00:27:04,018 --> 00:27:06,978 So, you want to tell me more about the kite and the line? 487 00:27:09,274 --> 00:27:10,234 Or just... 488 00:27:11,276 --> 00:27:13,396 Just tell me what a shitty husband I was. 489 00:27:14,070 --> 00:27:15,070 Go ahead. 490 00:27:18,116 --> 00:27:19,196 I'm so sorry. 491 00:27:20,452 --> 00:27:21,332 I'm just... 492 00:27:24,914 --> 00:27:26,174 I'm just so sorry, son. 493 00:27:28,209 --> 00:27:29,249 [Olivia] You did this? 494 00:27:29,544 --> 00:27:31,964 I mean, this is beautiful. You did this by yourself? 495 00:27:32,422 --> 00:27:34,052 Thought it might cheer you up. 496 00:27:34,507 --> 00:27:35,837 Dad said you've been... 497 00:27:36,801 --> 00:27:38,681 What? What did he say? 498 00:27:38,803 --> 00:27:40,353 I'm... I just... 499 00:27:40,430 --> 00:27:42,520 I know you're taking a little vacation. 500 00:27:42,599 --> 00:27:44,139 I wanted to cheer you up. 501 00:27:46,186 --> 00:27:47,096 Oh, sweetie. 502 00:27:48,813 --> 00:27:50,613 How long are you gonna be gone? 503 00:27:50,732 --> 00:27:51,942 Oh, not long. 504 00:27:52,233 --> 00:27:53,283 Not long, honey. 505 00:27:53,902 --> 00:27:56,862 I just need a little time away. It's nothing more than that, okay? 506 00:27:57,405 --> 00:27:58,235 Okay. 507 00:27:59,991 --> 00:28:01,161 This is perfect. 508 00:28:02,911 --> 00:28:05,251 [chuckling] Thank you. Thank you! I love it. 509 00:28:09,751 --> 00:28:10,841 [panting] 510 00:28:12,128 --> 00:28:12,958 Mom? 511 00:28:14,380 --> 00:28:15,510 [grunts] 512 00:28:20,970 --> 00:28:22,140 Oh, baby. 513 00:28:24,265 --> 00:28:25,385 Oh, I'm so sorry. 514 00:28:26,392 --> 00:28:29,192 This is an older picture. He would have been wearing a suit. 515 00:28:29,270 --> 00:28:31,860 -About an hour ago. Did he come in? -Yeah, I think so. 516 00:28:31,940 --> 00:28:32,770 Yeah? 517 00:28:32,857 --> 00:28:35,027 Did he say anything weird or do anything... ? 518 00:28:35,109 --> 00:28:36,359 He filled up his Jeep. 519 00:28:36,736 --> 00:28:38,196 -Green Jeep? -That's right. 520 00:28:38,279 --> 00:28:40,949 And then he filled up some cans, like, five cans. 521 00:28:41,699 --> 00:28:43,239 Five cans, you say? 522 00:28:55,630 --> 00:28:56,920 -[Steve] Was it him? -Yeah. 523 00:28:58,091 --> 00:28:59,431 [Steve] What are you doing? 524 00:28:59,509 --> 00:29:01,469 -I'm driving. -[Steve] No, no, no, this... 525 00:29:01,553 --> 00:29:02,683 This is my rental. 526 00:29:05,723 --> 00:29:06,853 [engine revs] 527 00:29:08,977 --> 00:29:10,687 [Steve] Jesus, Dad, slow down. 528 00:29:10,770 --> 00:29:13,270 He bought five cans of gasoline. He's not going to kill himself, 529 00:29:13,356 --> 00:29:15,476 -he's going to burn the house down. -That's a relief. 530 00:29:15,567 --> 00:29:17,857 He's in more danger now than he's ever been, 531 00:29:17,944 --> 00:29:20,324 and if he tries to burn it, it will defend itself. 532 00:29:20,405 --> 00:29:23,445 -You really didn't hear a word I said. -I did. Now you're gonna listen to me. 533 00:29:24,826 --> 00:29:26,326 There's a lot you don't know. 534 00:29:27,453 --> 00:29:30,753 I thought I could keep you kids safe if you didn't know, but for 20 years 535 00:29:30,832 --> 00:29:33,422 I've been holding the door closed, 'cause I knew there were monsters 536 00:29:33,501 --> 00:29:35,171 on the other side, do you understand me? 537 00:29:35,253 --> 00:29:36,503 Not even a little. 538 00:29:36,588 --> 00:29:39,968 Our family is like an unfinished meal to that house, 539 00:29:40,049 --> 00:29:42,589 and your brother is walking right back into... 540 00:29:44,095 --> 00:29:48,425 That house is the most dangerous place in the world for all of us, 541 00:29:49,309 --> 00:29:50,849 but especially for you. 542 00:29:51,311 --> 00:29:52,651 -For me? -Yeah, you. 543 00:29:53,313 --> 00:29:54,233 What? Why? 544 00:29:54,314 --> 00:29:55,984 Because I read your book, 545 00:29:56,065 --> 00:29:59,775 and you are the last person that should ever step foot in that house 546 00:29:59,861 --> 00:30:02,361 because of what you wrote and how you wrote it. 547 00:30:02,697 --> 00:30:05,117 You think you know what you saw? 548 00:30:05,366 --> 00:30:08,366 -You think you know what you wrote? -What? 549 00:30:09,287 --> 00:30:10,787 I know you saw a ghost. 550 00:30:11,581 --> 00:30:13,461 -[scoffs] -Yeah, chapter 19. 551 00:30:13,666 --> 00:30:14,496 Yeah. 552 00:30:14,584 --> 00:30:17,554 That little story about the vanity you painted for your mother. 553 00:30:17,629 --> 00:30:20,049 That's a story about a schizophrenic woman 554 00:30:20,131 --> 00:30:22,051 having a manic episode in front of a mirror. 555 00:30:22,133 --> 00:30:23,723 You don't understand what you wrote-- 556 00:30:23,801 --> 00:30:26,511 No, I saw Mom smash that glass 557 00:30:26,596 --> 00:30:28,136 -for no reason. -Before that. 558 00:30:28,222 --> 00:30:32,102 Go to the beginning, that little bit, about the vanity and why you did it. 559 00:30:32,185 --> 00:30:34,395 -You found the vanity in the game room. -Mm-hmm. 560 00:30:34,479 --> 00:30:36,689 And you walked by the man repairing the clock, 561 00:30:36,773 --> 00:30:39,073 and then you saw your mother looking into the twins' room, 562 00:30:39,150 --> 00:30:40,400 staring at their empty beds. 563 00:30:40,485 --> 00:30:43,145 Textbook dissociative episode. She was not well. 564 00:30:43,237 --> 00:30:44,527 No, no, not her. 565 00:30:44,614 --> 00:30:46,414 The man repairing the clock. 566 00:30:47,700 --> 00:30:48,660 What about him? 567 00:30:49,369 --> 00:30:51,619 Do you know what witness marks are? 568 00:30:52,914 --> 00:30:53,964 They're scars. 569 00:30:54,666 --> 00:30:56,536 Little marks inside the clock, 570 00:30:56,626 --> 00:30:58,536 scrapes, lines, divots, 571 00:30:58,628 --> 00:31:00,378 from tools, gears, 572 00:31:00,755 --> 00:31:02,665 pieces removed from the clock. 573 00:31:02,757 --> 00:31:05,967 They're basically evidence of repairs that have been done to the clock 574 00:31:06,052 --> 00:31:07,352 and what the clock was. 575 00:31:08,054 --> 00:31:11,724 And with antique clocks, you almost never have a repair record, 576 00:31:11,808 --> 00:31:14,308 so you have to learn how to read the witness marks, 577 00:31:14,394 --> 00:31:16,404 so you can understand what was done to the machine 578 00:31:16,479 --> 00:31:19,149 -and how it is meant to function. -[scoffs] 579 00:31:19,232 --> 00:31:21,692 Witness marks tell the story of the piece, 580 00:31:21,943 --> 00:31:23,573 if you know how to read them. 581 00:31:23,653 --> 00:31:25,243 What are you trying to say? 582 00:31:25,530 --> 00:31:27,910 I had that clock evaluated by a professional 583 00:31:27,991 --> 00:31:29,831 before we even moved into the house. 584 00:31:30,201 --> 00:31:34,161 I just wanted to know its history, know its value. 585 00:31:34,747 --> 00:31:36,917 That clock hadn't been touched since the '60s. 586 00:31:37,375 --> 00:31:40,085 You hired a slew of workers toward the end... 587 00:31:40,169 --> 00:31:41,959 Not for that clock, I didn't. Uh-uh. 588 00:31:44,132 --> 00:31:46,132 No, and if I had, it would have taken a specialist. 589 00:31:46,217 --> 00:31:48,677 There's only a handful in the world who know how to do it right, 590 00:31:48,761 --> 00:31:49,761 and they take it off-site. 591 00:31:50,304 --> 00:31:52,564 No. No one touched that clock. There was no man there, 592 00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:56,270 and certainly not one in old overalls with a handlebar mustache. 593 00:31:56,352 --> 00:31:58,192 That man wasn't there. 594 00:31:59,397 --> 00:32:00,567 You probably just forgot. 595 00:32:00,648 --> 00:32:03,148 You know, you think you're writing about your crazy mom, 596 00:32:03,234 --> 00:32:05,864 your crazy brother making scary faces in the tree house. 597 00:32:05,945 --> 00:32:08,565 You see the marks, but you don't know how to read them. 598 00:32:09,532 --> 00:32:12,292 I never built you kids a tree house. 599 00:32:13,286 --> 00:32:15,036 What? Luke was in there all the time. 600 00:32:15,121 --> 00:32:18,211 -I used to go fetch him for dinner-- -We were there flipping a house. 601 00:32:18,291 --> 00:32:20,591 We were gonna be there maybe eight weeks. 602 00:32:20,668 --> 00:32:24,208 How would I even have the time to build you kids a goddamn tree house? 603 00:32:24,297 --> 00:32:27,047 -Maybe it was already there. -There was no tree house. 604 00:32:29,177 --> 00:32:30,847 Now, when we get there, you can have a look, 605 00:32:30,928 --> 00:32:33,768 but I have to tell you something: your mother, she was not sick. 606 00:32:34,390 --> 00:32:36,850 She wasn't crazy, and neither was your sister, 607 00:32:36,934 --> 00:32:39,064 neither is your brother, neither are you. 608 00:32:39,145 --> 00:32:40,895 Whatever you saw this week, 609 00:32:40,980 --> 00:32:43,900 and I'm very sorry you have to be taking all this in right now, 610 00:32:43,983 --> 00:32:44,863 but you have to. 611 00:32:44,942 --> 00:32:46,402 Do you understand me? You have to, 612 00:32:46,486 --> 00:32:49,446 because your brother's life depends on it. 613 00:32:50,156 --> 00:32:53,486 That house is the most dangerous place in the world for all of us, 614 00:32:53,785 --> 00:32:56,495 and that's why I told your sisters to stay put. 615 00:32:58,539 --> 00:32:59,919 You really think they will? 616 00:33:05,463 --> 00:33:06,593 Do you think he's...? 617 00:33:08,424 --> 00:33:09,304 You know... 618 00:33:10,968 --> 00:33:13,218 going there like Nell went there? 619 00:33:13,638 --> 00:33:15,008 Like going to kill himself? 620 00:33:16,349 --> 00:33:17,179 I don't know. 621 00:33:19,811 --> 00:33:20,651 No. 622 00:33:20,978 --> 00:33:22,058 I guess I don't. 623 00:33:24,315 --> 00:33:26,185 I'm not perfect, you know. 624 00:33:27,693 --> 00:33:28,533 I know. 625 00:33:29,779 --> 00:33:30,739 I'm really not. 626 00:33:32,115 --> 00:33:33,695 So go ahead, tell me. 627 00:33:35,284 --> 00:33:36,124 Try again. 628 00:33:39,497 --> 00:33:41,327 Dad and I were in your office, 629 00:33:41,415 --> 00:33:44,285 and the forever house was on the floor, 630 00:33:44,877 --> 00:33:46,587 and we heard a noise under the desk-- 631 00:33:46,671 --> 00:33:48,511 Not that. You already told me that. 632 00:33:50,383 --> 00:33:51,683 I was really drunk. 633 00:33:52,468 --> 00:33:54,888 -I swear to God, Theo-- -And the lights went out 634 00:33:55,888 --> 00:33:57,848 while we were down there, and I... 635 00:33:59,267 --> 00:34:01,727 couldn't see. I was in the dark. 636 00:34:03,020 --> 00:34:05,150 I mean, like I was in the dark 637 00:34:05,815 --> 00:34:08,275 that whole night, and I just needed... 638 00:34:08,359 --> 00:34:10,529 I-- I needed... I... 639 00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:13,610 I couldn't see 640 00:34:14,157 --> 00:34:15,067 him, 641 00:34:15,283 --> 00:34:16,663 if that makes any sense. 642 00:34:16,784 --> 00:34:18,494 You know what? Never mind. 643 00:34:18,995 --> 00:34:21,615 -I'm trying to tell you-- -Forget I asked. 644 00:34:21,706 --> 00:34:24,036 You just don't know what I'm dealing with. 645 00:34:24,125 --> 00:34:25,415 We've all been dealing, 646 00:34:25,501 --> 00:34:28,421 and we somehow managed not to try to fuck each other's spouses-- 647 00:34:28,504 --> 00:34:30,924 Hey, that's not what this was about. It just isn't. 648 00:34:31,007 --> 00:34:33,297 So, you were drunk, 649 00:34:33,384 --> 00:34:36,014 -and that's supposed to be okay? -I'm telling you. 650 00:34:36,512 --> 00:34:38,852 I don't even know why I let you come with me. 651 00:34:40,016 --> 00:34:42,886 I touched Nell's body the night before. 652 00:34:43,519 --> 00:34:44,939 The fuck is wrong with you? 653 00:34:46,772 --> 00:34:48,072 Why don't you listen? 654 00:34:48,149 --> 00:34:49,859 -I don't-- No, no-- -I'm telling you. 655 00:34:49,942 --> 00:34:53,032 -I'm trying to tell you. -I don't need to hear your excuses... 656 00:34:53,112 --> 00:34:54,912 -I'm not making excuses. -...or your bullshit. 657 00:34:54,989 --> 00:34:55,869 I saw-- 658 00:34:55,948 --> 00:34:56,818 [screaming] 659 00:35:01,829 --> 00:35:02,909 [gasping] 660 00:35:07,001 --> 00:35:09,001 [seat belt clicks] 661 00:35:11,005 --> 00:35:12,335 [Theo wailing] 662 00:35:16,677 --> 00:35:18,847 -[Shirley] Are you okay? -[Theo] That was her! 663 00:35:18,930 --> 00:35:21,850 That was her! That was her! 664 00:35:22,266 --> 00:35:24,136 Did you see that, Shirley? 665 00:35:24,227 --> 00:35:26,227 Do you fucking believe that? 666 00:35:30,483 --> 00:35:32,113 You ought to know why I did it. 667 00:35:33,277 --> 00:35:35,487 I touched Nell because I had to know. 668 00:35:36,405 --> 00:35:38,025 You know what I'm talking about. 669 00:35:38,115 --> 00:35:39,575 Don't pretend that you don't. 670 00:35:40,576 --> 00:35:42,746 You know what happens when I touch people. 671 00:35:42,828 --> 00:35:44,828 A part of you knows, it always has. 672 00:35:46,958 --> 00:35:48,458 I had to know, and I... 673 00:35:49,669 --> 00:35:50,669 I touched her. 674 00:35:51,712 --> 00:35:52,552 And I felt... 675 00:35:54,048 --> 00:35:54,968 nothing. 676 00:35:56,676 --> 00:35:58,176 Just nothing. 677 00:35:59,679 --> 00:36:02,389 And it spread, it spread everywhere in me, 678 00:36:02,473 --> 00:36:05,603 this nothing, until I couldn't feel anything anymore. 679 00:36:05,685 --> 00:36:07,225 I was just this dark, 680 00:36:07,728 --> 00:36:09,438 empty black hole. 681 00:36:09,939 --> 00:36:12,229 And I tried to fill it up, I tried to fill me back up. 682 00:36:12,316 --> 00:36:15,526 I called Trish, and she came right away, and I felt nothing. 683 00:36:15,653 --> 00:36:18,573 And then I tried to mourn at the wake and I felt nothing. 684 00:36:18,656 --> 00:36:22,026 And so I drank and I drank, and nothing worked. 685 00:36:22,118 --> 00:36:24,248 I couldn't feel anything, Shirley. 686 00:36:24,328 --> 00:36:27,668 After I touched her skin, I couldn't feel... 687 00:36:28,833 --> 00:36:30,003 anything. 688 00:36:30,751 --> 00:36:33,841 And then we're in the basement, and the lights go out. 689 00:36:35,256 --> 00:36:36,546 And I can't see. 690 00:36:37,216 --> 00:36:38,546 And I can't feel. 691 00:36:39,593 --> 00:36:43,763 And I'm just... I'm just floating in this ocean of nothing, 692 00:36:43,848 --> 00:36:46,478 and I wonder if this is it, if this is what death is, 693 00:36:46,559 --> 00:36:50,519 just out there in the darkness, just darkness and numbness and alone, 694 00:36:50,604 --> 00:36:54,484 and I wondered if that's what she felt and that's what Mom feels, 695 00:36:54,567 --> 00:36:58,447 and it's just numb and nothing and alone. 696 00:37:02,199 --> 00:37:04,949 What if that's what it is for all of us 697 00:37:05,995 --> 00:37:07,195 when the time comes? 698 00:37:08,664 --> 00:37:12,754 And then... And then the lights came on, and there he was, and I... 699 00:37:13,336 --> 00:37:15,376 I didn't see him. I didn't see him. 700 00:37:15,463 --> 00:37:17,303 He was a light in the darkness. 701 00:37:17,381 --> 00:37:20,011 He was a life preserver in the ocean. 702 00:37:20,092 --> 00:37:23,432 I just... I reached for him because I had to feel something. 703 00:37:23,512 --> 00:37:24,762 I had to feel anything. 704 00:37:25,181 --> 00:37:27,851 [panting] And I didn't see him. 705 00:37:28,267 --> 00:37:30,517 I didn't... I didn't see him. I didn't see him. 706 00:37:30,728 --> 00:37:31,728 I didn't see him! 707 00:37:31,812 --> 00:37:33,312 And he stopped me. He stopped me. 708 00:37:33,397 --> 00:37:35,187 He took my hands, and he said no, 709 00:37:35,274 --> 00:37:37,654 and then I saw him, and then you walked in. 710 00:37:39,111 --> 00:37:41,321 God, I'm so glad I did it, though. 711 00:37:42,782 --> 00:37:44,032 Because it worked. 712 00:37:44,950 --> 00:37:46,490 Oh, God, it worked. 713 00:37:46,994 --> 00:37:48,544 I started feeling things again, 714 00:37:48,621 --> 00:37:51,711 and I felt... I felt shame, and I felt grief, 715 00:37:51,791 --> 00:37:54,001 and I felt... scared. 716 00:37:54,085 --> 00:37:55,745 I felt so fucking scared 717 00:37:55,836 --> 00:37:58,666 that I was gonna lose the only sister that I had left. 718 00:38:00,716 --> 00:38:01,546 And I... 719 00:38:02,009 --> 00:38:05,509 Honestly, I had to do it, because it felt better than nothing. 720 00:38:05,638 --> 00:38:08,718 That thorough fucking shame 721 00:38:09,100 --> 00:38:13,100 was so much better than that horrible, empty nothing. 722 00:38:13,187 --> 00:38:15,857 I can't... Shirley, please. 723 00:38:18,317 --> 00:38:20,487 I am... I am so... 724 00:38:20,569 --> 00:38:22,199 I am so, so, so sorry. 725 00:38:22,988 --> 00:38:24,238 I'm so sorry. 726 00:38:25,157 --> 00:38:27,157 Please, just please. 727 00:38:32,540 --> 00:38:33,710 [Theo sniffles] 728 00:38:50,266 --> 00:38:51,886 [insects chirping] 729 00:39:33,184 --> 00:39:34,644 [liquid trickling] 730 00:40:04,423 --> 00:40:06,763 [Luke] One, two, three, four, 731 00:40:06,884 --> 00:40:08,514 five, six, seven. 732 00:40:13,349 --> 00:40:14,639 [breathing hard] 733 00:40:14,934 --> 00:40:15,814 One, 734 00:40:16,143 --> 00:40:17,943 two, three, 735 00:40:18,479 --> 00:40:20,149 four, five, 736 00:40:20,648 --> 00:40:21,478 six... 737 00:40:22,233 --> 00:40:23,653 [breathing hard] 738 00:40:30,449 --> 00:40:31,739 [gasps] 739 00:40:57,351 --> 00:40:58,231 Mom.