Aren't you ashamed?
What if your family finds out? Huh?
Uh, and you?
Hey? What is your name?
What is your name?
-Let me talk to your parents. -Huh?
This is illegal, okay? Don't you know about it?
Where are your values and morals, madam? Huh?
If you're so interested in making money, try something respectable.
Disgraceful!
I'm not here to make any money.
That's his job.
And I paid him for a service. I already have a respectable job.
You're making money?
Male prostitute?
Isn't that also illegal, Sudhaji?
I don't know, sir. I've never heard about this before.
What to do?
What do I do? What do I do? What to do?
How much do you want?
You are offering us a bribe.
-This is definitely illegal! -Hmm.
I'm not bribing you. I'm settling this.
If you’re thinking so much, you've also thought about settling the matter.
Ah, you seem very experienced. Huh?
You have a respectable job. You must be earning a lot.
I also get a bonus, sir. Just name your price.
But this must stay between us. That's all.
Sudhaji.
Yes, sir.
Give it to her. She'll handle it.
Hmm?
So, bhaiya, male prostitute?
Do you have more in your gang or you work alone?
Lone wolf?
If you do anything illegal in Noida, we'll get you!
Okay, tell me one thing, do you get a bonus?
Any benefits?
Tip.
Huh?
Clients tip us.
Tip?
Well done. Give me the tip. Hand it over.
Don't do this or don't get caught. I'll have to maintain law and order.
Then see to law and order, sir.
Why preach about culture and good values?
And you only gave me that lecture. Why not him?
Madam is absolutely right, sir.
Come on, Sudhaji. Whenever you get a chance, you start lecturing me.
♪ Noida, Noida, Noida Spiral, Spiral, Spiral, Spiral Wheel ♪
♪ Noida, Noida, Noida, Noida Spiral, Spiral, Spiral, Spiral Wheel ♪
♪ A gentleman sitting atop The yellow wheel of time cycle ♪
♪ This is his destiny Meet the common man ♪
♪ He was looking for sweets But all he got was a bitter pill ♪
♪ This is his destiny Meet the common man ♪
♪ In the exam called life He gets 0 out of 10 ♪
♪ This is his destiny Meet the common man ♪
♪ Noida, Noida, Noida, Noida Spiral, Spiral, Spiral, Spiral Wheel ♪
What’s the matter?
-Huh? -All okay?
-Hmm? -You look preoccupied.
No, it's nothing.
I'll see who's there.
-Namaste, ma'am. -Namaste.
Madam, the society office sent this.
It's an order for cakes and pastries.
-We are having an annual get-together. -Yeah.
-Madam. -Okay. Yeah, tell me.
-Send extra pastries for the guards. -For sure.
-And that orange cake also. -Absolutely.
-Please don't forget. -Namaste.
Listen, can we go watch a film?
-Right now? -Yes.
What if someone comes over? They'll see no one's home and go back.
-That's why I suggested it. -What do you mean?
I mean, why waste time?
You've just got this order, right?
We'll buy all the things, and we'll watch the film also. Huh?
-Let's go? -Yes.
Beta, just in case you want more cheese or caramel popcorn, let me know.
Papa will go get it.
-Okay, Papa. -Okay.
Enjoy.
ANSAL JI - WHEN WILL I GET THE LAST INSTALLMENT MISHRA JI?
THE GAME'S NOT OVER YET
JAIN MANSION
Hey, where is Bhabhi?
I needed the checkbook.
Bhabhi has gone out.
Why didn't you go with her?
Bhabhi goes alone these days most of the time.
She doesn’t take me.
I asked her.
But she said that she doesn't need me.
Really?
She must be doing her own thing. None of our business, anyway. Shall we go?
Could you keep the dim light on, please?
You sure?
I feel quite comfortable with you now.
I bring this cake just for you. Specially.
Thank you!
Hope I don't put on weight.
So what's the big deal? You'll still be very beautiful.
It's true.
Can I tell you something?
The real flavor of the cake depends on who is tasting it.
Next time take some of it home.
-Hmm? -Hmm.
I better go.
I've already insured my fingers.
What more do you want, Shambhu babu?
The body has more than just fingers.
Your life is all about guns. You live your life on the edge.
I suggest you insure every part of your body.
Music exists in every part of you.
Ghungroos for ankles, the tune on your lips,
ragas in your mind, and melody in your heart.
Asshole! You're a bloody strange man.
-Hey. -What will you turn me into this time?
A whole orchestra.
-You're very photogenic. -Sahabji.
-Here's the premium. -Hmm.
-Deposit the cash. -Hmm.
I've told you so many times.
All plants need sunlight during the day. Sunlight is good for them.
If you don't do it tomorrow, I'll make you stand outside naked
in the sun, understood?
This won't happen again.
Bloody idiot!
I'm sure it's all there.
OPENING HOURS - 9 AM TO 2 PM 4 PM TO 9 PM
Hey, Pinky, come here!
You will count the cash today.
One, two, three, four,
-five-- -Spit the paan before you start counting.
No difference. I speak like this even after spitting it.
Six, seven…
Hey, Lappu, he will count the cash from today onwards.
You always count with so many breaks.
Sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one.
One, two, three, four…
One minute, one minute, fucker.
Why the hell did you start counting again after 21?
I can't count beyond 21, bhai.
He's saying he cannot count beyond 21.
But we asked you this, motherfucker. Why didn’t you tell us?
When did you ask? Nobody asked.
You only asked if I know to count beyond 17, I said yes to you.
He's saying nobody asked him.
We just asked if he can count beyond 17, and he said, "Yes, I can."
Do you know what? You're the number one idiot!
Beyond 17 means right till the very end, okay?
Can count till infinity or not?
That's what I wanted to know, fucker. You understand?
Raja Bhai is saying that beyond 17 means right till the end.
Can you count till infinity or not? That's what he wanted to know. Fucker!
Yes. Yes. Hmm.
-Raja Bhai, he is saying yes. -I understood that.
Do you get it now?
Idiot, the way you speak, nobody can understand a single word you say.
Is this a fucking gang or what? Is it a circus?
Now count it.
Zero, one, two, three…
The shop is closed right now. Didn't you see the board?
I've seen it, bhai.
I don't look at my watch before eating samosas.
So fry some.
Hello, Jain sahab!
How are you?
How is everything, Jain sahab?
Everything is fine.
How are both of you?
Very good.
Here is your samosa, and here is your jalebi.
Want to hear an interesting coincidence?
So Gaur sahab is missing, right? We conducted an inquiry.
We found out one of his colleagues is also missing.
An FIR has been filed in Sector 40.
Interesting coincidence, right?
By any chance, was he your customer?
Loyal?
Just like Gaur sahab?
Take care of it.
Not with a gun. Use a knife.
Not at all.
I have no idea about him.
Okay, then.
You can…
You can add the samosa and jalebi to our account.
As if we keep an account of what you eat here.
I'm just joking about it, Jain sahab. Sense of humor.
-Hey, hey, pal! Hey! -Hmm?
You've eaten so much paan. Now your mouth is red like a monkey's ass.
Nobody wants to kiss that and nobody will kiss you.
Jain sahab, to be honest, in your team,
all your guys look like criminals, huh? Not halwai.
Yeah?
How funny!
One of these days, instead of samosa and jalebi,
they'll serve us a gun on our plate.
Next time, give it to them in a damn paper plate.
Bloody fuckers!
Here is your last installment, Ansal sahab.
Hey, bhai, Mishraji, why are we meeting like this?
We could have met up at a bar or something. We are friends now.
Huh?
We are not friends.
And you don't try to be over friendly with me.
Remember, you had threatened to hurt my family.
I've finally returned all your money,
and now this chapter is closed.
-Did you like it? -Yeah.
It's all branded. He chose it for you himself.
And I got the edges done for you.
It's very beautiful.
But, Jiji, this looks really expensive. You didn't have to.
Hey, why didn't we have to?
If you're giving a gift, it should be special, huh?
And anyway, we are in a much better place.
CA consulting is really going well. We have some added income.
-It will look great on you, the color. -Yes.
-He's right. -Thank you!
-Shambhu, how's your work going? -It's going really well.
There are so many opportunities in the insurance business.
It just needs a person with vision.
Hey, you had told us about one client, right?
A man whose fingers you had insured?
-Even I want to insure my fingers. -Huh?
-Your fingers? -Why?
Yeah, I mean, hey, my fingers help me to provide services to the clients, right?
-You use your fingers? -Hey, my fingers are critical.
On the computer. Tip, tip, tip, I use my fingers so much.
-I see. -That's how work gets done.
-Bhaiya, you better insure my fingers. -Yeah.
I heard you accept premiums in cash.
I'll give it to you on the spot. Take it when you leave. Cash.
-"On the spot"? -Mm-hmm.
Really?
-Very good. -Okay, done, Jijaji.
Have some samosas.
No, just chai for today.
Okay.
-Ah, yeah. -They're very good.
-Really hot. -Hmm.
Tissue, tissue, tissue.
Hey…
-Tell them? -What?
In the mall, we have chosen a shop for Ashoklata.
A shop?
To set up a bakery.
-Wow! Wow! -Oh, wow! This is a great idea.
Jiji is an excellent baker.
-So when are you buying the place? -Very soon, I hope.
-I see. -Yeah.
We've spoken to the party.
I'm not a chugad anymore!
Hey, Shambhu. Do some arrangement for cash from somewhere.
The bank is not going to give us a loan. So I thought I would ask you.
I have the cash for a down payment.
And I will make sure that I pay all the installments on time.
Cash.
Huh? Works?
Hmm.
-Let me think about it, Jijaji. -Um, I have one party in mind.
-Huh? -Hmm?
Shall we talk to him?
ABDUL RAHMAN'S PROMISE THE COLOR GREEN WILL RULE THE WORLD
So you are her jijaji.
And she is my classmate. We were bound to meet.
Abdul bhai comes to the yoga class to learn anger management.
-That’s amazing. -Things are getting better for me.
The interest rate will be higher than the bank's.
The installments will be paid on time, right?
By the way, isn't your bank account still frozen?
No, don't worry about the installments.
In fact, if I pay back my loan earlier than planned,
I'll talk to you about reducing the interest rate.
If you are able to pay back the loan earlier,
I will reduce your interest rate.
And if I don't get my installments on time,
I can always take a break from my yoga class.
It will not come to that, Abdul bhai. You don't need to worry.
-Shambhu, shall we leave? -Thank you!
-Khuda hafiz. -Khuda hafiz.
Good morning, sir.
Bastard, you really think I'm an idiot, is it? Huh?
I was the one who signed off on Ansal's file,
and you're singing duets with him.
Bloody bastard thinks I'm an idiot!
I know everything. Everything!
Eagle! I'm an eagle! Eagle! I have razor-sharp vision.
What the fuck is going on?
There is nothing going on. I do not know that Ansal at all.
Beta, I am your boss! The Boss!
If you have some side deal with him, tell me.
Or I'll make your life hell!
Look at me!
By hell, I mean, I'll make sure you are on the floor, begging for mercy!
Bloody idiot, hey, look here--
Hey!
What…
-Hey! -Reetaji, you step out. Step out.
Reetaji. Reeta!
Listen carefully!
The lift door will remain closed until I say otherwise.
Uh, listen… listen to me! No…
-What were you saying? -Nothing.
You're an eagle? Huh?
You have razor-sharp vision? Huh?
What are you?
Rip your eyes out?
Rip it out with my fingers? Huh?
Bastard! You're the one screwing around in the office. Hmm? Hmm?
Taking bribes, approving building after building,
and I look the other way. But not humiliation.
I will not tolerate disrespect, am I clear?
-Yes. -Huh?
Open it. Open the door. I-I-I can't breathe anymore.
I'm going to die here.
Frankly, even if you die here, it won't make a damn difference to me.
If you give respect, you will get respect.
Do you understand or not?
I'll take this shoe and put a tattoo of the sole across your face!
Beat me up. I'll respect you.
Whether you respect me or not, I'll respect you.
Hit me with your shoe. Tear out my ears.
Do whatever you want to, but open the door. I'm going to die.
If you feel so suffocated, why don't you use the stairs?
You'll lose some of this also.
I'll do that. I'll do that.
-Open the door. -Open the door.
Sir!
-Killed me, asshole. -What happened?
Let's get away from here. Let's go!
Motherfucker.
If I don't make his life a living hell, my name is not Ram. Ram Babu Varshney!
I only need him to make one mistake, that's all.
And then I'll order an inquiry into him. Bloody loser!
-Keep an eye on the bloody asshole. -Yes, sir.
-Sir, my brother, Guddu would like a-- -Hey, fuck your brother Guddu!
-Fucker! -Sure, sir.
What did you do with Varshney sir today?
All of us use the same lift with the same lift man, Mishraji.
I've completely changed.
I won't allow people to walk over me.
Whether it's my boss or anyone else.
That you've changed has been obvious for quite a while.
So what's going on, Mishraji? Will you tell me?
Let's step out for lunch.
I'll tell you everything then, okay?
I hope you’re not judging me.
Oh…
So you are judging me, huh?
If I were judging you, I would have left at the beginning of this conversation.
-You did what you felt was right. -That's true.
And you're not answerable to me in any way.
I don't think our relationship will change just because now you're…
What are you now?
Male prostitute.
-Yeah, that. -Try to say it once.
Male prostitute.
You already returned the money you had borrowed.
When you fulfil all your other desires, then you'll stop, right?
I feel like I've just got my wings.
I want to fly high. I don’t think I'll be able to stop now.
♪ Darling ♪
♪ Hold me close tonight, darling ♪
Sorry, when you called the other day, my wife was around.
So I had to end the call. Sorry!
It's all right.
Will you keep apologizing? You said sorry, no?
You know, my husband never apologizes. Even if it's his fault.
And my mother-in-law always takes his side.
Her son after all.
But I'm an outsider, isn't it?
By the way, what does your husband do?
He runs a business. He's always so busy.
Ups and downs, tax accounts all the time.
Tax?
Can I help him out? I will charge a fee, of course.
You?
CA Topper. That's my name.
You are actually a CA?
What did you think? That I just like that?
Mrs. Verma, let me know whenever you are in need.
Hello?
-Listen. -Yes.
Switch on all the lights.
Sure?
♪ Hey, river, hey, river ♪
♪ Like the sun I submerged myself in you ♪
♪ Hey, monsoon ♪
♪ I'm sewn on the body like a thread ♪
♪ Yeah, I melted ♪
♪ In your heat, in your heat ♪
♪ I melted into you, I melted into you ♪
♪ Hey, river, hey, river… ♪
Maybe she's just visiting temples or out shopping.
Why should I bother?
Raja Bhai, it's important that we know, no?
Family matter after all.
Dhaincha babu, your bhabhi doesn't irritate me the way she used to.
She's happy to be on her own.
This is what heaven feels like when you are a married man. Understand?
And now, we can focus on our clients properly, okay?
All this police involvement shouldn't affect our ratings.
Yes, Raja Bhai.
♪ Let the river flow, let it flow ♪
♪ Let it flow through you ♪
♪ Let the river flow, let it flow ♪
♪ You don't stop Let the time stand still ♪
♪ Hey, river… ♪
You give me both, so much pleasure and happiness too.
Actually, I've started liking you a lot.
I've liked you
right from the very beginning.
♪ Let the river flow, let it flow ♪
♪ You don't stop Let the time stand still ♪
♪ Hey, river ♪
Ashoklata!
You're quite late today, Damadji.
Doesn't your office close at 5:30 in the evening?
Amma, when did you get here?
We had no idea you were visiting.
Do I need an appointment to come to my daughter's house?
I'm getting an eye operation done in the city.
-You have to take me. -Of course, Amma.
You don’t even need to ask.
Here's some chai for you. Piping hot!
Okay.
-How many spoons of sugar? -I don't want too much.
Just four teaspoons should be enough.
Amma, you didn’t stay with Shambhu?
No, I mean…
Usually, mothers stay at their son's house.
not at their daughter's.
Huh? So, how come you're here?
Damadji, I'm a modern woman. I don’t believe in all this.
And I really love spending time with my Ritu and Rohan.
So now how many days will you stay with us?
-What's wrong with you? -Just asking casually.
Amma will stay here as long as she feels like. Hmm?
-This is also her home. -That is very true.
You are not a very giving, caring person, Damadji.
-You'll never take care of the elderly. -Stop it.
I told you in the beginning, he doesn't deserve you.
Amma, what are you saying? He's my husband.
Can you tell me something?
You are now 40 years old. Why are you looking like 20?
This shiny disco shirt, your sunglasses, gelled hair,
swinging your keys like a Sudarshan chakra.
-Sure you are not having some affair? -Amma!
All the signs are there, I can see it.
Your eyesight has become weak, hasn't it?
That's why you're seeing strange things. I'm the same.
Just the way you saw me last time. Nothing has changed.
Whether Raja Bhai says it or not,
I want you to keep a close eye on Bindi Bhabhi.
You know, Lappu, a home is very difficult to build.
It should never break.
WE ARE A COUPLE…BUNTY AND BABLI
ARE YOU UP FOR A 3SUM?
YES.. READY FOR MFM
THE FEES WILL BE MORE
HOW TO ATTRACT YOUR HUSBAND
What's happening, Bindi? You've been singing a lot these days.
You don't even get on my nerves like you used to.
Nothing special.
I'm happy from within.
And I'm living my life.
That's good.
-Hey, listen. -Hmm?
Tell me if you like this.
Don't you know that I'm diabetic?
And my sugar levels are out of control because of all the stress.
So take one extra unit of insulin at night.
Take a bite, at least.
This cake is delicious, man. A very unique flavor.
From where did you buy it?
I found it on some website. Home delivery.
Someone delivers it.
Why don't you stock it at the shop? It'll be quite a hit.
The cake is definitely superb, but no one will buy it from our shop.
If you don't stock it,
whoever wants it will buy it from somewhere else.
Let them buy, why should I care?
You don't spend so much time thinking about it.
-Let me manage the business. -Hmm.
Listen, you continue your singing and all that.
And if you're happy in your life,
then my life also becomes quite stress-free.
-It's all there, right? -Yes.
The shop is all yours from now.
Give it to her. She's the owner.
I put your name on the contract.
-You happy? -Hmm.
Jijaji, you owe us a party for this one. You won’t get away so easily.
Of course I'll give a party when we have the formal opening of her new cake shop.
-Yes. -Then we'll celebrate.
-Both of you have to be there. -If you invite us, we'll be there.
Goes without saying.
-We'll leave. I need to sell a policy. -We're also on our way out.
-Shall we leave? -I also have some work to do.
All right, I'll head out then.
Let's go.
Everyone is very happy. This is a good shop.
-Okay, bhaiya. Namaskar. -Namaskar.
Let's leave? Come.
CA Topper.
Bunty and Babli, come in.
Close the door. Hurry up.
Take off all your clothes.
Fast.
Switch on the lights.
Jijaji!
-Jijaji! -Shobha!
-Jijaji-- -Shobha, cover yourself!
-Shambhu! -Jijaji, namaste.
-We were doing this as an experiment. -And I'm doing it for money.
Hmm?
Listen.
-Ashoklata shouldn't find out. -Jiji shouldn't find out.
-Let's go? -And my 40,000?
If business dealings aren't done properly, relationships can get spoiled.
I'm sure no family in the world must have had this type of transaction.
Let's go. I mean, I…
You use the bathroom. We'll change here.
-Namaste, Didi. Please come. -Yes.
Thank you.
Namaste.
-How are you? -I'm fine.
You only come to the parlor once in four to five months.
Why don't you come more often?
So, should I do your regular facial?
No, I'll do the special one today. 200 more for that, right?
Why the special one today? Hmm?
Today is the inauguration of my shop. It's my own shop.
Oh wow! What kind of a shop is it?
Bakery items. Homemade cakes and all that.
Cakes? Oh, I'm very fond of cakes.
Really? Then you must definitely visit my shop.
-Definitely. -It's in Hi-Fi mall.
-Which flavor do you like the most? -Flavor…
Well, the flavor doesn't really matter.
The taste depends on who brings it for you, right?
Correct.
You did the right thing by opening your own shop.
Women must learn to make themselves happy.
It's their right.
Hurry up, behena!
We can't have the bride's chachi and tai stuck in the parlor
while the groom arrives.
-Two minutes. -Forget it.
The wedding is just an excuse for you. You're dressing up for Jethji.
Yeah. He wants me all the time.
Actually, even my husband does not leave me at all.
Devarji is crazy about you, but not as crazy as mine.
-I can bet on that. -Okay then. Bet on it?
The shop is a very personal matter.
-Why did you invite Shobha and Shambhu? -Don't be ridiculous.
Don't forget, they introduced us to Abdul Bhai.
And an inauguration should have the entire family.
-Did something happen? -No, no. What will happen?
Anyway, listen.
-You know what I heard today? -Hmm?
There's some CA Topper.
And he provides services to women of those kinds.
Those kinds? Meaning?
Those kinds.
-What? What are you talking about? -Hey.
I mean, you'll believe anything that you're told even if it's nonsense.
-You can’t do that. -This is confirmed news.
Last week the kitty party was at Mrs. Goel's house.
Her friends had come over.
I heard that one or two of them have used his services.
And today, there was a devrani-jethani at the parlor.
Both were carrying CA Topper hand mirrors.
He gives gifts to women.
Really?
So, what were they saying? The Devrani-Jethani?
Nothing. What would they say?
They could barely look each other in the eye.
Mrs. Goel… What were her friends saying?
They were all in praise of him.
Really?
And what kind of, uh, praises?
They were saying he's amazing in bed.
And that he's a very good listener.
And what else were they saying about this CA Topper?
That he understands women really well.
And that everybody keeps going back to him.
They said, "There's no one like him in the whole of Noida."
And there's something special about him.
Let's go?
LATAVAN BAKERY
May God bless you.
-Hey, Shobha. -Yes.
Give everyone some cake.
Finally, Damadji did one thing right in life.
Give some to Jijaji first.
Take it.
Have some.
It's really good. It's the first day. Have it.
Shobha, you don’t need to cover your head when I'm around.
It's so hot these days.
She has such good values. Our Shobha.
It was I who found her. Your papa was not sure about her.
Lovely couple and such good values.
We both also have very good values.
My husband is one in a million.
The cake is really delicious.
-Hmm. -Very tasty.
Yes, bhai, which room do you want? And for one hour or two?
Do you have a CCTV set up? We want it in one of the rooms.
Are you mad or what? Guests need privacy, okay?
No CCTVs allowed. Get out of here! Get out!
Fucker!
Fucker! Huh?
Acting too smart?
Shall I rip your brains out?
So what if you don’t have CCTV. I have my mobile.
I'll do the recording on that.
You'll set it up, no, bastard? Huh?
Bastard! You talk way too much, fucker!
Hurry up!
Motherfucker. What a sexy room, buddy.
So the main program will be happening here.
Where should the camera be?
Set up in such a way that we see everything that's going on,
but the other person cannot see the camera.
Motherfucker! 800 for an hour?
What the fuck do people do, man? Wasting their money like this.
You will get a kilo of ghevar in 800.
-It's done. -Done?
Next time I ask you to do something, shut up and do it without all this drama.
Now ask that Madam to shift to this room.
Uh, but…
Now you want me to come up with the reason also?
Just go and say that, uh,
the AC isn't working, there's no water in the toilet.
There are 100 reasons! Just pick one and tell her.
Are you going, or should I?