1 00:00:23,708 --> 00:00:24,541 Come in. 2 00:00:45,250 --> 00:00:48,708 ♪ Conjurer, o, conjurer ♪ 3 00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:53,166 ♪ I'm the lover of lovers ♪ 4 00:00:54,250 --> 00:00:57,833 ♪ Conjurer, o, conjurer ♪ 5 00:00:58,750 --> 00:01:02,125 ♪ I'm the lover of lovers ♪ 6 00:01:04,875 --> 00:01:09,375 ♪ I've traded heart for a heart In this deal of love ♪ 7 00:01:09,458 --> 00:01:13,666 ♪ I won the bet of love By losing my heart ♪ 8 00:01:14,750 --> 00:01:17,875 ♪ Conjurer, o, conjurer ♪ 9 00:01:19,250 --> 00:01:22,166 ♪ You are a great magician… ♪ 10 00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:25,166 Did you see that, Raja Bhai? The solid proof I got! 11 00:01:25,250 --> 00:01:28,166 I think I deserve an award for this. 12 00:01:37,250 --> 00:01:39,916 -This man is dancing in the video. -Hmm. 13 00:01:41,125 --> 00:01:43,125 And he dances very well. 14 00:01:44,625 --> 00:01:46,916 Bindi is looking really happy. 15 00:01:47,500 --> 00:01:49,333 This is just the trailer, Raja Bhai. 16 00:01:49,416 --> 00:01:51,625 I have recorded the whole damn live action. 17 00:01:51,708 --> 00:01:54,125 Here it is. Watch it from here. 18 00:01:54,208 --> 00:01:56,875 Right here. 19 00:02:03,875 --> 00:02:07,166 Just look at how they are at it. So passionate, isn't it? 20 00:02:10,208 --> 00:02:12,583 And the show goes on. 21 00:02:14,708 --> 00:02:17,458 She happens to be my wife, Lappu beta. 22 00:02:19,083 --> 00:02:22,333 You're watching and showing it to me as if it's some dirty reality show. 23 00:02:22,416 --> 00:02:24,500 Motherfucker, stop this now! 24 00:02:25,666 --> 00:02:27,125 Bloody fucker! 25 00:02:36,291 --> 00:02:37,666 You have high sugar. 26 00:02:44,291 --> 00:02:45,791 Why the hell did you bring jalebis? 27 00:02:46,375 --> 00:02:49,291 These jalebis were supposed to be for both of us. 28 00:02:49,791 --> 00:02:52,625 The video was pretty long, so we got some snacks. 29 00:02:52,708 --> 00:02:55,166 I brought samosas for you, but you had the jalebi. 30 00:03:05,458 --> 00:03:09,375 I want this video transferred to Dhaincha's phone 31 00:03:09,458 --> 00:03:12,625 and deleted from your phone, go on. 32 00:03:12,708 --> 00:03:13,583 Hmm. 33 00:03:20,791 --> 00:03:22,916 I had told you this, Raja Bhai. 34 00:03:23,666 --> 00:03:26,083 You need to know what happens in your home. 35 00:03:29,208 --> 00:03:32,291 How Bhabhi and that motherfucker were in bed together. 36 00:03:32,375 --> 00:03:34,625 Whatever may have happened in bed… 37 00:03:40,833 --> 00:03:43,791 …but the man danced so well, buddy. 38 00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:45,375 Danced for Bindi. 39 00:03:57,083 --> 00:04:01,041 To tell you the truth, this matter has become very personal to me now. 40 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,208 Bring your bhabhi here. 41 00:04:15,833 --> 00:04:16,666 We, uh… 42 00:04:17,875 --> 00:04:20,500 We need more information about that bastard. 43 00:04:21,375 --> 00:04:23,083 And then let's take care of him. 44 00:04:25,291 --> 00:04:27,583 Why tell Bhabhi that we know, Raja Bhai? 45 00:04:30,666 --> 00:04:33,458 What if she goes and alerts that motherfucker? 46 00:04:35,708 --> 00:04:38,166 Lappu and I will keep a close eye on him. 47 00:04:38,958 --> 00:04:42,125 We'll catch him red-handed and end the fucking asshole! 48 00:04:48,125 --> 00:04:49,916 Do it carefully, Dhaincha. 49 00:04:54,708 --> 00:04:56,666 He humiliated me. Motherfucker! 50 00:05:02,041 --> 00:05:06,375 ♪ Noida, Noida, Noida Spiral, Spiral, Spiral, Spiral Wheel ♪ 51 00:05:06,458 --> 00:05:10,875 ♪ Noida, Noida, Noida, Noida Spiral, Spiral, Spiral, Spiral Wheel ♪ 52 00:05:10,958 --> 00:05:13,791 ♪ A gentleman sitting atop The yellow wheel of time cycle ♪ 53 00:05:13,875 --> 00:05:16,750 ♪ This is his destiny Meet the common man ♪ 54 00:05:16,833 --> 00:05:19,666 ♪ He was looking for sweets But all he got was a bitter pill ♪ 55 00:05:19,750 --> 00:05:22,458 ♪ This is his destiny Meet the common man ♪ 56 00:05:22,541 --> 00:05:25,375 ♪ In the exam called life He gets 0 out of 10 ♪ 57 00:05:25,458 --> 00:05:28,500 ♪ This is his destiny Meet the common man ♪ 58 00:05:28,583 --> 00:05:32,791 ♪ Noida, Noida, Noida, Noida Spiral, Spiral, Spiral, Spiral Wheel ♪ 59 00:05:38,583 --> 00:05:41,041 Oi! I want the car to be sparkling clean! 60 00:05:41,125 --> 00:05:44,875 And if you miss a single spot, I'll make sure you're fired from this job. 61 00:05:44,958 --> 00:05:47,041 And then you'll wash the car, beta? 62 00:05:47,708 --> 00:05:49,291 You have no sense of shame. 63 00:05:49,375 --> 00:05:52,666 Getting the security guard to wash your car for you. 64 00:05:53,166 --> 00:05:54,750 Is it the guard's job? 65 00:05:54,833 --> 00:05:57,208 I told him, "This is not my job," Ammaji. 66 00:05:57,291 --> 00:05:59,125 You try to make him understand. 67 00:05:59,208 --> 00:06:00,791 You keep your mouth shut! 68 00:06:00,875 --> 00:06:03,125 You wash the car in five minutes. 69 00:06:03,208 --> 00:06:05,500 But I never see you doing the guard's duty. 70 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:09,250 Who is the secretary of this society? I'll complain about you. 71 00:06:10,291 --> 00:06:12,375 It's him. Please complain! 72 00:06:13,333 --> 00:06:18,500 Oh, when the emperor himself is naked, why should his subjects wear clothes? 73 00:06:18,583 --> 00:06:21,666 What's the matter, bhai? Huh? Who is naked? 74 00:06:23,041 --> 00:06:25,666 No one is actually naked. It's just a saying. 75 00:06:25,750 --> 00:06:28,958 A society where the building secretary 76 00:06:29,041 --> 00:06:32,625 makes the security guard wash his car cannot be a safe place at all. 77 00:06:32,708 --> 00:06:34,791 You are absolutely right about that. 78 00:06:35,375 --> 00:06:37,666 -Taneja, fix the system, man. -Yeah, yeah. 79 00:06:37,750 --> 00:06:40,291 You go back and do your duty. Am I clear? 80 00:06:40,375 --> 00:06:41,208 Huh? 81 00:06:46,375 --> 00:06:48,125 What did you say your name was? 82 00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:49,750 I never told you my name. 83 00:06:50,750 --> 00:06:53,708 You don't worry at all. I will put everyone in their place. 84 00:06:53,791 --> 00:06:58,916 Taneja is only a secretary in name. Do you know the real power is in my hands? 85 00:06:59,541 --> 00:07:03,250 First of all, I'm going to get rid of these dogs. 86 00:07:03,333 --> 00:07:06,000 These children have allowed things to get out of control! 87 00:07:06,083 --> 00:07:08,666 -And their father just pampers them. -Ritu. 88 00:07:09,416 --> 00:07:10,916 Nani! 89 00:07:12,583 --> 00:07:16,416 And why shouldn't he pamper them? They're so cute, right? 90 00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:19,958 The kids of course and the puppies also. 91 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,291 Will you have some milk? 92 00:07:24,875 --> 00:07:28,375 You didn't tell me you were Tribhuvanji's mother-in-law. 93 00:07:28,458 --> 00:07:30,833 Is he some VIP for everyone to know? 94 00:07:31,708 --> 00:07:34,833 And why would I tell you? Are you from the CID? 95 00:07:35,375 --> 00:07:37,541 Come on, kids, let's go to school. 96 00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:42,708 Ah, I can’t even get angry with you from now on. 97 00:07:42,791 --> 00:07:45,000 Come on! Faster! 98 00:07:45,083 --> 00:07:46,625 Yes, faster! 99 00:07:46,708 --> 00:07:48,666 You can do it! Don't give up. 100 00:07:48,750 --> 00:07:49,833 Faster! 101 00:07:49,916 --> 00:07:51,791 Don't give up! You can do it! 102 00:07:51,875 --> 00:07:54,500 -You're very close to your goal. -Very close. 103 00:07:54,583 --> 00:07:56,041 You're almost there. 104 00:07:56,125 --> 00:07:57,791 Yes, you can do it! Yes! 105 00:07:58,416 --> 00:08:00,833 Ah, motherfucker! Damn this department. 106 00:08:01,666 --> 00:08:05,833 They're trying so hard to fix their image, but they are screwing me over! 107 00:08:06,333 --> 00:08:08,625 Am I a policeman or Paan Singh Tomar? 108 00:08:12,916 --> 00:08:15,625 -I hope I don't die on this fucking-- -Shut your mouth! 109 00:08:17,750 --> 00:08:20,583 I'm saying push-up. And not lie down, get it? 110 00:08:23,250 --> 00:08:28,708 Samosa, jalebi, bhujiya, stop everything! I said no more junk. 111 00:08:29,416 --> 00:08:32,291 -Did you cheat? -You think I want to die? 112 00:08:33,666 --> 00:08:36,166 I had nothing. Promise, Guruji. I'm telling-- 113 00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:37,500 Just shut up! Shut up!! 114 00:08:50,250 --> 00:08:52,958 Dhaincha, Bhabhi just entered the parlor. 115 00:08:53,041 --> 00:08:54,875 I'll update you if anything happens. 116 00:09:03,541 --> 00:09:04,833 I've examined your eyes. 117 00:09:05,625 --> 00:09:07,833 I would like to take some of your medical history. 118 00:09:08,791 --> 00:09:10,708 My knees hurt a lot. 119 00:09:11,416 --> 00:09:12,958 There's gas in my stomach. 120 00:09:13,041 --> 00:09:16,166 And my heart keeps pounding very fast. 121 00:09:17,083 --> 00:09:19,291 I won't live much longer now. 122 00:09:19,375 --> 00:09:21,875 Go easy on the chaat, Ammaji. 123 00:09:21,958 --> 00:09:26,583 Really? If I don't eat chaat, and I am able to heal myself, 124 00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:28,666 then why are you charging me fees? 125 00:09:29,250 --> 00:09:31,375 Which quack have you brought me to? 126 00:09:31,458 --> 00:09:35,333 -Can he handle an eye surgery? -I'll manage, Ammaji. 127 00:09:35,916 --> 00:09:39,291 -Soon your eyesight will be twice as good! -Her eyes are already sharp! 128 00:09:43,125 --> 00:09:44,500 BINDI JI CLIENT CAN WE MEET? 129 00:09:44,583 --> 00:09:46,000 Some tests. Get them done. 130 00:09:46,083 --> 00:09:49,833 If the reports are good, you can bring her in for the surgery soon. 131 00:09:49,916 --> 00:09:51,208 Okay. 132 00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:54,000 After we finish these tests, take me to the market. 133 00:09:54,583 --> 00:09:55,708 I want to eat chaat. 134 00:09:59,916 --> 00:10:01,708 NOT POSSIBLE TODAY 135 00:10:01,791 --> 00:10:04,208 Alright, Ammaji. Let me take you for some chaat. 136 00:10:04,291 --> 00:10:05,166 TOMORROW? 137 00:10:05,250 --> 00:10:06,708 Doctor sahab, namaste. 138 00:10:06,791 --> 00:10:08,333 NOT POSSIBLE TODAY, TOMORROW? 139 00:10:16,791 --> 00:10:18,625 Bhabhi has just left the parlor. 140 00:10:18,708 --> 00:10:21,791 She's going towards Atta market. I'll follow her there. 141 00:10:53,541 --> 00:10:56,458 Come on, you won't even let me drink my beer in peace! 142 00:10:58,208 --> 00:11:00,708 At least tell me where you're taking me, Pinky? 143 00:11:01,416 --> 00:11:04,416 Didn't Raja Bhai tell you you’re supposed to count the cash? Huh? 144 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:10,416 Raja Bhai gets irritated when we are counting money, right? 145 00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:12,750 -Yeah. -So I found a good solution. 146 00:11:13,250 --> 00:11:14,125 Oh, really? 147 00:11:14,833 --> 00:11:16,708 What is this solution supposed to be? 148 00:11:17,458 --> 00:11:19,625 You learnt math, fucker? Huh? 149 00:11:21,208 --> 00:11:26,166 Not math, smartness! Wait and watch. 150 00:11:27,375 --> 00:11:29,000 Hey, fucker! 151 00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:33,041 -Where the fuck have we come? -Wait and watch. 152 00:11:39,250 --> 00:11:41,458 "Gopaldas Jhurani." 153 00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:45,333 Let's go! 154 00:11:53,333 --> 00:11:56,458 Count this cash in the machine. 155 00:11:57,291 --> 00:12:00,291 Then after that, hand over the machine to us. 156 00:12:00,833 --> 00:12:03,125 -He's saying you-- -I understood. 157 00:12:04,583 --> 00:12:05,833 But why? 158 00:12:06,875 --> 00:12:10,000 Why should I give it to you? Is it your father's property? 159 00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:13,666 Hmm? 160 00:12:21,291 --> 00:12:22,583 What did you say? 161 00:12:23,833 --> 00:12:26,750 -Do you also have a gun? -Yes, uncleji. 162 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,291 -Teamwork. -Very professional. 163 00:12:31,916 --> 00:12:34,958 You should have told me that? Why did you waste my time? Hmm? 164 00:12:35,750 --> 00:12:36,625 Take the machine. 165 00:12:36,708 --> 00:12:40,416 It's not like I'm counting some fucking fortune with this every day! 166 00:12:45,333 --> 00:12:48,541 Take this, Raja Bhai. You can count any amount now. 167 00:12:49,041 --> 00:12:51,000 You won't have to deal with Lappu or this fucker. 168 00:12:51,666 --> 00:12:55,291 Jhatka, didn't I give you the idea for the machine? 169 00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:59,291 -You're such a bastard! -Okay, stop. Go and see the customers now. 170 00:12:59,375 --> 00:13:01,416 -You were missing the whole day. -Okay. 171 00:13:06,583 --> 00:13:08,333 Half a kilo of bhujiya, Jain sahab. 172 00:13:08,416 --> 00:13:10,625 Your bhujiya is the most famous across Noida! 173 00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:15,000 This recipe is handed down for many generations. 174 00:13:16,125 --> 00:13:18,625 -Of course it is very famous. -Hmm. Of course. 175 00:13:18,708 --> 00:13:20,708 ♪ …In this deal of love ♪ 176 00:13:20,791 --> 00:13:22,083 How much, sahab? 177 00:13:22,166 --> 00:13:23,916 ♪ I won the bet of love ♪ 178 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:24,875 Jain sahab? 179 00:13:26,083 --> 00:13:27,166 Hey, Jain sahab? 180 00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:30,791 ♪ Conjurer, o, conjurer ♪ 181 00:13:32,208 --> 00:13:35,083 ♪ You are a great magician… ♪ 182 00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:39,666 You are just letting your phone ring. 183 00:13:39,750 --> 00:13:42,833 But if this ringtone doesn't stop playing right now, 184 00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:48,375 I will tear your jaw apart and rip your tongue out of your fucking mouth. 185 00:13:50,333 --> 00:13:51,458 Stop it, motherfucker! 186 00:14:01,375 --> 00:14:03,208 How many kilos of bhujiya did you buy? 187 00:14:05,041 --> 00:14:07,791 -Half kilo. -150 rupees. 188 00:14:12,833 --> 00:14:16,041 -Change your ringtone immediately, okay? -Hmm. 189 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,500 See what I mean, sir? 190 00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:36,541 I mean, what strange thieves! 191 00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:40,250 They came to the bank, but didn't steal cash. Just took the machine. 192 00:14:41,375 --> 00:14:42,375 I know. 193 00:14:42,875 --> 00:14:45,291 That is exactly what I didn't understand, sahab. 194 00:14:45,958 --> 00:14:47,416 Alright, we'll look into it. 195 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,625 -Back to work. -Okay. 196 00:14:52,375 --> 00:14:55,583 Fuck, man, usually, small crimes are more profitable. 197 00:14:55,666 --> 00:14:58,541 Not much to investigate, and we manage to make some money. 198 00:14:58,625 --> 00:15:00,500 But how do we make any money here? 199 00:15:00,583 --> 00:15:02,583 Madam, sign here please. 200 00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:07,333 Aah! 201 00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:11,583 You've come to the bank. That means you definitely have the money. 202 00:15:12,083 --> 00:15:15,083 You must have come to withdraw it or deposit it. Huh? 203 00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:18,708 Then why do you want alimony like a fucking beggar? 204 00:15:20,541 --> 00:15:23,875 I will report your behavior to the judge. Then you'll be in trouble. 205 00:15:23,958 --> 00:15:25,833 Be careful of what you say to me. 206 00:15:26,458 --> 00:15:30,625 I'll tell her about all your side deals! Then she'll definitely throw you in jail. 207 00:15:33,041 --> 00:15:36,166 By the way, you're here to investigate the machine theft, right? 208 00:15:37,708 --> 00:15:42,208 That's all you're fit for. Solving these petty crimes all your life. 209 00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:45,750 You'll never get a big case and never be able to solve one! 210 00:15:48,666 --> 00:15:50,125 It's alright, sir. Let it go. 211 00:15:50,625 --> 00:15:52,125 I want to open an account. 212 00:15:52,208 --> 00:15:54,916 I'm expecting a settlement soon, a big one. 213 00:16:01,375 --> 00:16:03,416 JAIN MANSION 214 00:16:05,166 --> 00:16:07,666 ♪ Lose your heart to someone ♪ 215 00:16:08,166 --> 00:16:12,791 ♪ I've fallen in love ♪ 216 00:16:12,875 --> 00:16:16,416 ♪ I forgot the world And can only think of you ♪ 217 00:16:17,375 --> 00:16:22,083 ♪ Your drenched body is on fire ♪ 218 00:16:22,166 --> 00:16:26,791 ♪ A fire that burns Brighter when it rains ♪ 219 00:16:26,875 --> 00:16:31,625 ♪ I'm like a butterfly Without a care in the world ♪ 220 00:16:31,708 --> 00:16:36,583 ♪ My heart longs To get lost in your arms… ♪ 221 00:16:37,416 --> 00:16:39,833 You seem very engrossed in the song. 222 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,333 Hmm. 223 00:16:41,958 --> 00:16:45,041 -Is this your favorite song? -Yes. 224 00:16:55,375 --> 00:16:57,583 Now you'll ask me to dance for you, correct? 225 00:16:59,333 --> 00:17:00,166 No. 226 00:17:02,750 --> 00:17:06,291 I feel happy just watching the song. 227 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:20,250 ♪ I've traded heart For a heart in this deal of love ♪ 228 00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:24,750 ♪ I won the bet of love By losing my heart ♪ 229 00:17:25,750 --> 00:17:29,125 ♪ Conjurer, o, conjurer ♪ 230 00:17:30,458 --> 00:17:32,416 ♪ You are a great magician ♪ 231 00:17:37,208 --> 00:17:41,250 Summer in Noida is going to get very hot. 232 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:45,291 Bloody idiotic song! I want to watch the news. 233 00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,625 And I will not change the channel. 234 00:17:49,333 --> 00:17:51,083 Don't change the channel. 235 00:17:51,166 --> 00:17:53,708 You watch the news and change the country. 236 00:17:53,791 --> 00:17:54,958 I'm going for a shower. 237 00:17:57,416 --> 00:17:59,208 It's getting so hot these days. 238 00:18:19,250 --> 00:18:21,541 Everything seems normal so far. 239 00:18:22,416 --> 00:18:25,458 Bhabhi either goes to the parlor or the theater. 240 00:18:28,125 --> 00:18:30,000 Keep an eye on her, Lappu. 241 00:18:31,833 --> 00:18:34,541 Once an animal has tasted human blood… 242 00:18:36,625 --> 00:18:38,458 there's no coming back from there. 243 00:18:38,541 --> 00:18:42,916 Why don't you just agree with me? It's so difficult to convince you. 244 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,208 Tell me something, 245 00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:47,250 Sallu Bhai's super hit towel-rubbing dance, 246 00:18:47,333 --> 00:18:48,791 can your Shahrukh do it? 247 00:18:48,875 --> 00:18:52,750 Really? And Shahrukh's world-famous step? 248 00:18:52,833 --> 00:18:54,291 Can Sallu even think of doing it? 249 00:18:54,375 --> 00:18:57,291 This Pinky is a new entry. Let's ask him to decide. 250 00:18:57,375 --> 00:19:02,208 Oi, tell us, between the two, who is the bigger Khan? Shahrukh or Sallu? 251 00:19:05,375 --> 00:19:06,750 Both are ordinary. 252 00:19:06,833 --> 00:19:07,875 What? 253 00:19:08,458 --> 00:19:09,833 He's saying both are ordinary. 254 00:19:10,791 --> 00:19:11,916 -Both of them? -Yes. 255 00:19:13,041 --> 00:19:14,291 Then who is extraordinary? 256 00:19:15,166 --> 00:19:19,291 And listen, fucker, go a little slow. I'm not in the mood to use a calculator. 257 00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:22,583 -He's not a calculator, he's a translator. -Yes. 258 00:19:22,666 --> 00:19:25,500 Whatever he is, why can't you speak more slowly? 259 00:19:25,583 --> 00:19:30,583 Okay, listen carefully. Number one is Saroj Khan. 260 00:19:30,666 --> 00:19:31,500 What? 261 00:19:32,125 --> 00:19:37,500 Saroj Khan. She's the one who makes both the Khans dance to her tunes. 262 00:19:37,583 --> 00:19:40,500 Salman Khan's this step, Shahrukh Khan's this step. 263 00:19:40,583 --> 00:19:42,833 Tell me, who taught them all this? 264 00:19:43,541 --> 00:19:44,708 She is the one. 265 00:19:44,791 --> 00:19:48,125 So then tell me, isn't she the number one Khan? 266 00:19:48,208 --> 00:19:49,208 She is. 267 00:19:49,833 --> 00:19:51,875 At number two, Genghis Khan. 268 00:19:53,041 --> 00:19:56,541 He has the maximum number of children in the whole world. 269 00:19:57,250 --> 00:19:59,208 That's why he's myr… model. 270 00:19:59,291 --> 00:20:01,666 -He's what? -Role model. 271 00:20:02,583 --> 00:20:04,083 You all just wait and watch. 272 00:20:04,166 --> 00:20:06,791 Let me get married, I'll show you my talent then. 273 00:20:06,875 --> 00:20:09,250 I will produce one child more than him. 274 00:20:11,833 --> 00:20:15,625 Okay, but tell me, at least Shahrukh and Sallu are next on the list, right? 275 00:20:15,708 --> 00:20:16,583 No. 276 00:20:17,583 --> 00:20:19,875 Then comes Zaheer Khan. 277 00:20:19,958 --> 00:20:23,666 Zaheer Khan, left, fast medium bowler. 278 00:20:23,750 --> 00:20:27,250 He has won so many matches for India. 279 00:20:27,333 --> 00:20:30,000 He has made the country feel sop…! 280 00:20:30,083 --> 00:20:31,500 What? What did he do? 281 00:20:31,583 --> 00:20:33,666 -Made us proud. -Hmm. 282 00:20:33,750 --> 00:20:36,000 You are fucking understanding everything? 283 00:20:37,166 --> 00:20:39,708 Hey, is there anyone in line before Shahrukh and Sallu? 284 00:20:39,791 --> 00:20:43,583 Yes, bhaiya! There are many more. But for today, three are enough. 285 00:20:43,666 --> 00:20:46,541 I'll tell you later. Come on, open the beer. 286 00:20:46,625 --> 00:20:50,166 -Yeah! They're nice and chilled! -You're such a fucking blabbermouth! 287 00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:53,583 Don't spit into the bottle while opening. 288 00:20:53,666 --> 00:20:55,666 -No mouth at all. -Wow. 289 00:20:58,458 --> 00:20:59,666 No cheers, nothing, man? 290 00:20:59,750 --> 00:21:00,833 Cheers! 291 00:21:00,916 --> 00:21:03,416 You're in a tearing hurry to drink your beer! 292 00:21:04,083 --> 00:21:06,000 -Come, cheers. -Cheers. 293 00:21:12,166 --> 00:21:14,041 How much is your portfolio worth now? 294 00:21:14,125 --> 00:21:17,250 Just taking a look right now. Haven't had any time in two days. 295 00:21:19,416 --> 00:21:21,750 Did you get a chance to speak to Jijaji at all? 296 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,333 What happened at the lodge that day was so weird. 297 00:21:25,958 --> 00:21:27,125 Don't you think so? 298 00:21:37,125 --> 00:21:37,958 All okay? 299 00:21:39,375 --> 00:21:40,791 All the stocks have crashed. 300 00:21:42,500 --> 00:21:44,250 How many clients had invested? 301 00:21:48,375 --> 00:21:49,666 Two, three clients. 302 00:21:50,625 --> 00:21:52,208 But a lot from one client. 303 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:54,958 Who's that? 304 00:22:03,375 --> 00:22:04,416 This fellow. 305 00:22:08,666 --> 00:22:09,791 How much was it? 306 00:22:12,791 --> 00:22:13,833 Close to six lakhs. 307 00:22:15,416 --> 00:22:16,416 Today… 308 00:22:18,583 --> 00:22:20,750 the portfolio is worth just about 32,500! 309 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,458 He's a very dangerous man. 310 00:22:27,458 --> 00:22:28,666 Which is why I say, 311 00:22:29,833 --> 00:22:32,083 small jobs don't bring big benefits, Shambhu. 312 00:22:34,458 --> 00:22:36,166 If you must play, play big. 313 00:22:37,250 --> 00:22:40,166 It's just six lakhs and look how you're stressing over it. 314 00:22:41,583 --> 00:22:43,916 If we don't think big, how will we make it big? 315 00:22:59,166 --> 00:23:00,375 What will you do now? 316 00:23:13,750 --> 00:23:16,000 Last night, Damadji was late again. 317 00:23:17,583 --> 00:23:19,541 In spite of him getting churan for you, 318 00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:22,791 you keep tracking his movements all the time. 319 00:23:23,291 --> 00:23:24,791 When he comes, when he goes. 320 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,000 Was he buying the churan from a shop, 321 00:23:29,583 --> 00:23:32,916 or was he making it himself that he got so late? 322 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,291 I think your own hormones are out of control. 323 00:23:36,083 --> 00:23:38,083 That's why you keep suspecting everyone. 324 00:23:38,916 --> 00:23:40,125 Look, Ashoklata, 325 00:23:40,791 --> 00:23:43,625 it is very unlikely that a woman will cheat. 326 00:23:44,375 --> 00:23:46,250 But men stray all the time. 327 00:23:46,833 --> 00:23:50,166 -They're like butterflies. Understood? -Oh my God. 328 00:23:55,291 --> 00:23:58,625 Okay, fine. Remember you told me, 329 00:23:58,708 --> 00:24:02,583 he took this fan to be repaired fully dressed up to go out. 330 00:24:03,500 --> 00:24:04,791 Very tip-top! 331 00:24:06,166 --> 00:24:07,000 You told me. 332 00:24:07,583 --> 00:24:08,416 Yes. 333 00:24:09,416 --> 00:24:10,666 Has he ever used it? 334 00:24:12,583 --> 00:24:13,416 Tell me. 335 00:24:17,458 --> 00:24:18,458 Tell me. 336 00:24:23,500 --> 00:24:24,583 Did he use it? 337 00:24:25,958 --> 00:24:29,250 Please learn to read between the lines. 338 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,583 Women have the most important weapon. 339 00:24:33,250 --> 00:24:36,041 Our sixth sense. Wake up! 340 00:24:41,958 --> 00:24:43,791 Where are you going all dressed up? 341 00:24:46,416 --> 00:24:47,375 Stop nagging him. 342 00:24:49,625 --> 00:24:52,500 There must be some important work. Right, Damadji? 343 00:24:53,250 --> 00:24:57,041 You go. You're working so hard for the family, right? 344 00:24:57,916 --> 00:24:58,916 You don't worry. 345 00:25:02,208 --> 00:25:03,583 I'm going to meet a client. 346 00:25:10,041 --> 00:25:11,375 Smelt the perfume? 347 00:25:12,625 --> 00:25:13,708 Rose day today. 348 00:25:15,208 --> 00:25:17,166 -Come on. -Where? 349 00:25:17,250 --> 00:25:18,166 Come on, hurry up! 350 00:25:19,750 --> 00:25:21,916 -Where are you going? -I said, get up. 351 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:22,833 -Let's go. -Where? 352 00:25:22,916 --> 00:25:24,083 -Let's follow him. -No. 353 00:25:24,166 --> 00:25:26,750 -I'm doing this for your family. -What's wrong with you? 354 00:25:27,333 --> 00:25:29,041 Let me close the door! 355 00:25:29,125 --> 00:25:30,708 Hurry up. 356 00:25:30,791 --> 00:25:32,333 Wait, one minute… 357 00:25:32,416 --> 00:25:34,541 -The house is open. -Leave it! 358 00:25:35,375 --> 00:25:38,291 He's working so hard for all of us. And you're… 359 00:25:38,958 --> 00:25:39,833 What? 360 00:25:43,125 --> 00:25:45,833 He's gone. Come, let's follow him. 361 00:25:46,375 --> 00:25:48,041 Who will look after the children? 362 00:25:48,125 --> 00:25:51,583 Come here. I only want to play Christie. 363 00:25:53,791 --> 00:25:55,333 -Listen. -Tell me. 364 00:25:55,416 --> 00:25:58,375 -We're going out for some work. -Want me to come with you? 365 00:25:58,458 --> 00:25:59,291 No, no. 366 00:25:59,791 --> 00:26:02,875 We are in a hurry. You watch the kids for now. 367 00:26:02,958 --> 00:26:04,500 -All right? -Don’t worry at all. 368 00:26:04,583 --> 00:26:07,291 -And take care of their puppies also. -Of course. 369 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:14,125 Where is he? 370 00:26:15,041 --> 00:26:17,000 Amma, what are you trying to do? 371 00:26:18,125 --> 00:26:20,291 -Where are we going? -Shh! Shh! 372 00:26:20,375 --> 00:26:22,458 Look! See that! 373 00:26:24,791 --> 00:26:25,916 We got him! 374 00:26:32,291 --> 00:26:33,750 Come on, go faster! 375 00:26:34,250 --> 00:26:37,041 Do you see that scooter there? That stupid, yellow one? 376 00:26:37,125 --> 00:26:38,833 -Yes. -Follow it fast. 377 00:26:38,916 --> 00:26:42,041 That pink muffler woman, sticking to him, wicked witch! 378 00:26:43,541 --> 00:26:45,208 Didn't I keep telling you? 379 00:26:46,250 --> 00:26:47,708 We caught him red-handed. 380 00:26:48,916 --> 00:26:51,375 -Faster! -How fast, Ammaji! 381 00:26:51,458 --> 00:26:54,250 Shut your mouth and drive. Faster! 382 00:27:12,416 --> 00:27:13,666 Amma. 383 00:27:19,416 --> 00:27:20,291 Yeah, tell me? 384 00:27:20,833 --> 00:27:22,125 Hey! 385 00:27:22,208 --> 00:27:25,375 I've got my hands around this bitch. You inside, go find Damadji. 386 00:27:25,458 --> 00:27:26,916 Go! 387 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,708 Tell me, for how long this affair has been going on? 388 00:27:30,791 --> 00:27:32,958 -Just let go of me. -Let you go? 389 00:27:33,041 --> 00:27:35,416 Tell me how long this nonsense has been going on? 390 00:27:36,458 --> 00:27:39,833 -Tell me! -It's not been very long, swear! 391 00:27:39,916 --> 00:27:40,875 Really? 392 00:27:40,958 --> 00:27:43,666 -Who do you think you are? -Don't do this. 393 00:27:43,750 --> 00:27:47,083 How did you get my damadji? What spell have you cast? 394 00:27:47,666 --> 00:27:50,125 Ashoklata, did you find the cheater or not? 395 00:27:50,666 --> 00:27:52,458 Please let go of my hair. 396 00:28:18,791 --> 00:28:19,625 Amma! 397 00:28:37,416 --> 00:28:41,833 We just, uh, thought we'll follow Damadji to work today. 398 00:28:42,416 --> 00:28:45,000 Just in case he needed some help from us. 399 00:28:45,583 --> 00:28:47,541 He works very hard these days. 400 00:28:48,333 --> 00:28:49,916 You are also a CA, Mataji? 401 00:28:50,541 --> 00:28:52,416 No, I'm not a CA. 402 00:28:53,541 --> 00:28:55,958 So then, how can you help him? 403 00:28:58,541 --> 00:29:02,541 He is a very diligent CA. My accounts are safe in his hands. 404 00:29:09,125 --> 00:29:10,833 Shall we leave, Amma? 405 00:29:12,416 --> 00:29:14,958 Happy now to see your dear damadji? 406 00:29:15,041 --> 00:29:16,916 You were so worried about him, right? 407 00:29:23,125 --> 00:29:24,208 Uh, Ashoklata… 408 00:29:24,791 --> 00:29:27,541 -Amma. -Ashoklata, listen to me. 409 00:29:28,458 --> 00:29:32,083 Enough, Amma. Enough. I don't want to hear another word. 410 00:29:33,875 --> 00:29:36,041 And if you ever again accuse him of cheating, 411 00:29:36,541 --> 00:29:38,500 then our relationship is over forever. 412 00:29:40,375 --> 00:29:41,208 Enough! 413 00:29:55,291 --> 00:29:58,500 The way your Amma acted today, that was not okay at all. 414 00:29:59,208 --> 00:30:00,708 I mean, there's a limit, man! 415 00:30:04,375 --> 00:30:08,208 She pressured me into doing it. This won't happen ever again. 416 00:30:10,833 --> 00:30:12,916 See, we put money into your cake shop. 417 00:30:13,500 --> 00:30:16,041 Which means I have to take more clients. Huh? 418 00:30:16,125 --> 00:30:19,791 We borrowed money from Abdul Bhai. We have to pay him installments regularly. 419 00:30:20,416 --> 00:30:21,416 How will we do it? 420 00:30:22,208 --> 00:30:23,041 Hmm. 421 00:30:28,291 --> 00:30:29,166 Listen. 422 00:30:30,291 --> 00:30:32,708 We need to take Amma to the hospital tomorrow 423 00:30:33,333 --> 00:30:34,416 for her eye surgery. 424 00:30:36,833 --> 00:30:39,666 I remember. I'll take her. Don't worry about it. 425 00:31:24,083 --> 00:31:24,916 Hey? 426 00:31:26,916 --> 00:31:29,375 Why did you leave the door open like that? 427 00:31:34,958 --> 00:31:36,041 Are you all right? 428 00:31:38,916 --> 00:31:41,500 What happened? You look very upset today. 429 00:31:43,416 --> 00:31:45,000 Let me dance and cheer you up. 430 00:31:45,083 --> 00:31:46,208 You like that, right? 431 00:31:46,708 --> 00:31:49,458 I haven't danced for you for many days now. Hmm. 432 00:31:50,458 --> 00:31:51,333 Ready? 433 00:31:53,291 --> 00:31:55,541 Hey, not only Bindi Bhabhi, 434 00:31:56,208 --> 00:31:58,541 even we all enjoyed it a lot. 435 00:32:00,250 --> 00:32:01,708 Your graceful dance. 436 00:32:07,083 --> 00:32:10,916 Dhaincha, I just caught that asshole red-handed. 437 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:13,083 Come here immediately with Raja Bhai. 438 00:32:13,583 --> 00:32:14,541 Hmm. 439 00:32:15,500 --> 00:32:18,000 Meanwhile, let me have some fun with this asshole. 440 00:32:19,166 --> 00:32:21,333 We'll deal with this fucker properly. 441 00:32:24,833 --> 00:32:27,416 Bhabhi, what is the name of this lodge? 442 00:32:28,250 --> 00:32:29,833 Madhur Milaap Lodge. 443 00:32:32,083 --> 00:32:35,625 When Raja Bhai hears this name, it will really break his heart. 444 00:32:38,250 --> 00:32:39,291 "Madhur Milaap." 445 00:32:40,958 --> 00:32:44,333 Madhur Milaap, room number 96. Yes, come soon. 446 00:32:48,083 --> 00:32:50,500 How dare you do dirty things with Bhabhi, you fucker! 447 00:32:51,625 --> 00:32:53,708 We are going to beat the shit out of you. 448 00:32:54,458 --> 00:32:55,833 Go, go. Why don't you start? 449 00:32:55,916 --> 00:32:57,791 You were going to perform some dance moves, no? 450 00:32:57,875 --> 00:32:59,833 Why don't you get started, you fucker? 451 00:32:59,916 --> 00:33:02,791 Let me sit back and relax. Come on. 452 00:33:02,875 --> 00:33:04,875 Uh, um, eh… 453 00:33:04,958 --> 00:33:06,166 -Come on, dance! -Uh… 454 00:33:18,041 --> 00:33:22,750 Not bad, huh. You are an amazing dancer. Come on, shake your hips. 455 00:33:25,958 --> 00:33:28,916 Shake both sides. There's no need to feel shy, you asshole. 456 00:33:29,791 --> 00:33:32,625 Huh. Very nice. 457 00:33:33,708 --> 00:33:35,250 You dance really well, man. 458 00:33:35,833 --> 00:33:39,250 Keep going. I'm watching your moves. I like to watch everything. 459 00:33:40,500 --> 00:33:42,083 I have very sharp eyes. 460 00:33:51,541 --> 00:33:54,375 Hey! Motherfucker! 461 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:07,833 Damn! Looks like you've just walked out of a Hollywood film! 462 00:34:15,333 --> 00:34:17,291 Why the hell are you looking at Bhabhi, huh? 463 00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:19,708 She won't be able to save you now. 464 00:34:20,625 --> 00:34:23,208 She's in deep shit and Raja Bhai will deal with her. 465 00:34:36,041 --> 00:34:37,333 Bhabhi, 466 00:34:38,458 --> 00:34:41,166 isn't this the same weird cake you brought home the other day? 467 00:34:42,041 --> 00:34:42,875 Yes. 468 00:34:44,250 --> 00:34:47,583 Oh, I see. So he's the man who brings the cake for you. 469 00:34:50,875 --> 00:34:52,625 Raja Bhai also had this. 470 00:34:54,375 --> 00:34:57,625 The wife of the halwai whose mithai is so famous 471 00:34:57,708 --> 00:35:00,416 has the guts to feed him cake brought by another man? 472 00:35:00,500 --> 00:35:03,416 I mean, you have completely destroyed Raja Bhai's honor. 473 00:35:06,875 --> 00:35:10,000 Okay, enough of this small talk. Let me take care of you now. 474 00:35:12,500 --> 00:35:13,916 Hey! 475 00:35:16,083 --> 00:35:19,625 He has made me so happy. You think I'm going to let him die? 476 00:35:20,666 --> 00:35:22,833 Hold him down! 477 00:35:26,916 --> 00:35:29,750 Having sex does not make a woman dirty, understood? 478 00:35:39,166 --> 00:35:40,625 Fucking asshole. 479 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:54,708 Ah… 480 00:36:19,041 --> 00:36:21,708 Bloody motherfucker! 481 00:36:28,583 --> 00:36:31,458 Daughter fucker! 482 00:36:31,541 --> 00:36:32,875 Ah! 483 00:36:33,833 --> 00:36:35,916 You! 484 00:36:36,583 --> 00:36:38,333 -Ah! -Motherfucker! 485 00:36:38,416 --> 00:36:41,291 You think you can screw around with other men's wives, huh? 486 00:36:41,375 --> 00:36:42,875 Do you have any shame or not? 487 00:36:44,458 --> 00:36:47,333 I'm going to break your balls tonight! Huh? 488 00:36:50,125 --> 00:36:52,583 So this is what you're so confident about? Huh? 489 00:36:53,083 --> 00:36:56,333 Get rid of this bloody snake. So there's no need for a snake charmer! 490 00:37:35,500 --> 00:37:36,708 Come here! 491 00:37:38,291 --> 00:37:39,708 I'll get you. 492 00:38:35,083 --> 00:38:37,708 MANDO MOTHER-IN-LAW 493 00:39:43,416 --> 00:39:45,291 -Vineet Bhai. -What happened? 494 00:39:45,916 --> 00:39:48,666 Um, Vineet Bhai, listen carefully. Where are you? 495 00:39:48,750 --> 00:39:51,333 I'm at Madhur Milaap. I'm with a client right now. 496 00:39:51,416 --> 00:39:54,458 -What are you up to? -I'm… I'm also in Madhur Milaap. 497 00:39:54,541 --> 00:39:56,333 Uh, in room number 96. 498 00:39:56,833 --> 00:40:00,541 Vineet Bhai, I'm in deep shit. You better come here quickly. To 96. 499 00:40:00,625 --> 00:40:01,791 -Are you in 96? -Yes. 500 00:40:01,875 --> 00:40:02,791 I am in 106. 501 00:40:03,291 --> 00:40:07,375 Did you hear the banging or not? That was me, busy with the client. 502 00:40:07,458 --> 00:40:10,208 That bed took such a beating, we almost broke your ceiling! 503 00:40:10,291 --> 00:40:12,125 It was quite a banger! 504 00:40:12,208 --> 00:40:15,625 -Let me wrap things and myself up. -Come here at the earliest. 505 00:40:30,583 --> 00:40:34,916 MANDO MOTHER-IN-LAW 506 00:40:56,416 --> 00:40:58,666 This man is extremely irresponsible. 507 00:41:22,958 --> 00:41:25,750 The name is Ghoda. Desi Ghoda. 508 00:41:33,750 --> 00:41:34,875 Vineet Bhai. 509 00:41:37,583 --> 00:41:38,750 What the fuck's happening? 510 00:41:49,041 --> 00:41:50,041 Vineet Bhai… 511 00:42:07,333 --> 00:42:10,416 What the fuck is happening?! 512 00:42:11,333 --> 00:42:12,333 What is this? 513 00:42:13,791 --> 00:42:16,416 Motherfucker, what the fuck have you done? 514 00:42:17,166 --> 00:42:18,916 You have killed-killed… 515 00:42:25,083 --> 00:42:28,708 He called you here for your help, but you are being such a coward! 516 00:42:29,458 --> 00:42:31,000 What's done is done now. 517 00:42:33,708 --> 00:42:37,625 And don't abuse so much. There is a lady in the room. 518 00:42:37,708 --> 00:42:41,958 Body! There's also a body. A dead body. A dead body. 519 00:42:42,875 --> 00:42:45,208 -You two are men just for the sake of it. -Huh? 520 00:42:45,916 --> 00:42:47,791 Both of you, get out of here quietly. 521 00:42:48,875 --> 00:42:50,791 You use the front entrance. And… 522 00:42:51,708 --> 00:42:53,208 I'll leave from the back exit. 523 00:42:53,791 --> 00:42:55,791 There's a body and the body is dead. 524 00:42:56,291 --> 00:42:57,250 One moment. 525 00:42:58,708 --> 00:43:00,291 Can you bring me those things? 526 00:43:08,416 --> 00:43:09,250 Uh… 527 00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:11,000 Come on. 528 00:43:13,125 --> 00:43:14,625 Go, wash the knife. 529 00:43:39,583 --> 00:43:40,500 Hmm. 530 00:43:42,500 --> 00:43:45,916 You better dispose this off. I'll take care of this. Hmm? 531 00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:48,208 B… But… 532 00:43:49,416 --> 00:43:50,583 -Okay. -Hmm. 533 00:43:53,500 --> 00:43:57,541 If you had only told me earlier, I would've suggested a homeopathic remedy. 534 00:43:57,625 --> 00:44:00,125 You would not even have needed eye surgery. 535 00:44:00,208 --> 00:44:02,750 You would have been healed without any procedure. 536 00:44:02,833 --> 00:44:05,166 Look at me. How fit I am. 537 00:44:05,250 --> 00:44:09,416 Thanks to homeopathy, I am 70 years on paper, but I look 55. 538 00:44:09,500 --> 00:44:12,291 You know, till date, I've never been to a hospital. 539 00:44:12,375 --> 00:44:14,708 -So why are you going today? -Only for you. 540 00:44:14,791 --> 00:44:17,166 Hold on tight, otherwise, you may fall down. 541 00:44:17,833 --> 00:44:18,666 Yes. 542 00:44:35,708 --> 00:44:40,958 MADHUR MILAAP 543 00:45:22,750 --> 00:45:24,250 Hey, Lappu. 544 00:45:25,083 --> 00:45:28,500 Hey, Lappu! Lappu! 545 00:45:31,041 --> 00:45:33,000 Why aren't you saying anything? 546 00:46:09,416 --> 00:46:10,416 Lappu? 547 00:46:12,333 --> 00:46:13,166 Hey! 548 00:46:32,958 --> 00:46:35,375 No, no, no, no, no. 549 00:46:39,458 --> 00:46:40,875 Lappu!