[cooker hissing]
Bhabhiji, you're a complete surprise package.
If it wasn't for you today, we would be lying on the floor,
dead and gone.
[diabolic music playing]
Deal done, bhabhiji.
The way you wanted, your terms.
If you can throw in one more thing, consider this deal sealed, Agarwalji.
Even I want a gun.
[eerie music playing]
[Agarwal] What will you do with it?
Well, will keep it close to me.
[Agarwal] Apart from the gun, Mishraji is also going to require some security.
Remember I introduced both of you to Ehsaan Qureshi?
He is a sworn enemy of that Jain halwai. Arrange for a meeting.
If Mishraji is safe, we can be sure that our files are safe.
[dramatic music playing]
[music intensifies]
[man in Hindi] ♪ Noida, Noida, Noida Spiral, Spiral, Spiral, Spiral Wheel ♪
♪ Noida, Noida, Noida, Noida Spiral, Spiral, Spiral, Spiral Wheel ♪
♪ A gentleman sitting atop The yellow wheel of time cycle ♪
♪ This is his destiny Meet the common man ♪
♪ He was looking for sweets But all he got was a bitter pill ♪
♪ This is his destiny Meet the common man ♪
♪ In the exam called life He gets 0 out of 10 ♪
♪ This is his destiny Meet the common man ♪
♪ Noida, Noida, Noida, Noida Spiral, Spiral, Spiral, Spiral Wheel ♪
[low, tense music playing]
TRIBHUVAN MISHRA
Mishraji, are you actually signing his file?
Weren't you the one who objected?
Mishraji.
[dramatic music playing]
[Mishra] I'm forced to sign the file in exchange for this.
My family is in danger, Lalitaji.
I just can't understand what to do, so…
You must be wondering
how Tribhuvan Mishra has become a criminal now.
Am I right? Huh?
Look, Mishraji, I prefer not to judge anyone.
You are in a dilemma right now,
and you need some help, no matter where it comes from.
I will write "checked and approved" on the note sheet in your signed files.
So that there's no inquiry.
Lalitaji, you…
Thank you very much for doing this.
But you…
When you saw me holding a gun in my hand, weren't you surprised?
Nothing really surprises me anymore, Mishraji.
And considering where I come from, guns don't scare me much.
[dramatic music playing]
[Mishra] Really?
[man 1] Today is your birthday.
-Where's the cake? -[woman] At least wish me first.
Look at your stomach. Keeps getting bigger!
-[man 1] Smaller than your boyfriend's. -[woman laughs] Shut up! Shameless.
Why? What is Amitabh Bachchan's name in that case?
-Amitabh Bachchan's name is not there. -Why? He's a very big star.
-[man] Yogiji! How much longer? Hurry up. -[Yogi] I'm coming, sir.
Look at that. Can't tell the back from the belly.
Guruji, I want you to improve everyone's fitness.
The department needs to look fit.
It's possible, right?
[nervously] Sir, why me?
Sir, why don’t you all, uh, join a popular gym.
There are too many… policemen here.
Come on.
I lost two and a half kilos, all thanks to you!
Two and a half.
It's a big deal!
[chuckles nervously]
I'm just saying thank you by giving you business.
Sir.
It will also give us a chance to meet more regularly.
What do you say?
-[chuckles nervously] -Hmm?
-Yeah, sure. -Am I right? Ah, bloody fucker.
Sir, may I leave?
Wait a minute, man. I called for some chai, bhai.
[Ali] Just relax for now. Okay?
-[Mathew] Move! -[man] I told you.
-I don’t know. -Sit here! Sit!
Danish beta, did you tell Mathew sir where you have hidden
all the stolen goods?
-No, he's not telling me anything. -[whimpering]
-You-- -[restraining grunt]
Stop it, man. Tell the truth, beta. I'm sure he'll talk.
-[dramatic music playing] -[Danish screaming]
Tell him, no, son?
-[Danish continues howling] -Where you have hidden the stolen goods?
-Tell us, no? -[Danish howls]
[Ali] Or do I need to rip both your ears out?
Are you watching, Guruji?
The sort of things we have to do to solve cases.
This guy's not going to be easy. He's quite a bastard.
[diabolic music playing]
Huh?
-You'll tell us, right? Huh? -[Danish shrieks]
You'll tell us, no?
-[Danish wailing] -[Ali] Or should we cut out your tongue?
Tell us, man.
Or do you want sir to tear your lips apart?
Then you'll never get a chance to say another word again. Speak up.
You'll nod your head and tell us, no?
You'll tell us, right?
Nod your head and tell us?
[grunts]
Take him away, Mathew miyaan, and tell him to show the place.
-Come on. -[whimpers]
You got lucky today.
Did you see how he talked?
Once they know they have been cornered, everybody talks to the police.
Some talk immediately while some take their time.
Some talk willingly and some need convincing.
End result is same for everyone.
Confession.
So, Guruji, you can go.
As it is, your chai has gone too cold. Huh?
Go, go.
[dramatic music playing]
[indistinct traffic sounds]
[cooker hisses, stops]
You are my guests. You must have dinner with me.
Now coming to your request for security, so tell me, Shambhu miyaan,
why should I provide protection to your jijaji because you ask me to?
-Um… -You don't have to do it for him.
Do it for yourself.
[tense music playing]
The enemy of an enemy is a friend, Ehsaan Bhai.
Jain halwai is your enemy and his enemy too.
Welcome, Begum Sahiba.
Come, come.
Begum, you really took your time to shop today.
[Qureshi's wife] Yes, I got a little delayed.
Bhabhi Jaan.
Guests have come at dinner time.
-Check all the arrangements, Jameelaji. -Don't worry about anything.
Your guests will not go home hungry.
[low, tense music playing]
Shambhu miyaan, I cannot understand how any of this will benefit me.
Jain sahab is trying to kill your jijaji and not the other way around.
If that's what it takes, then we'll do it. Hmm?
-Right, Jijaji? -[in Hindi] Yeah.
[Jameela clears throat softly]
[in English] The dal is very hot.
Mind your fingers. They're magical after all.
[quirky music playing]
You have such charisma.
A big heart.
[chuckles] And magic in your fingers.
[quirky music continues]
[coughs]
[Mishra continues coughing]
The food is not that spicy.
Give him some water.
He's anyway in pretty bad shape.
Um, let me help you with that.
-Since how long do you know CA Topper? -Just a few months now.
-Took the service how many times? -Twice or thrice.
"Service?" What service?
Jijaji's name is CA Topper
only on the website where he provides his service.
How did you figure out that I have met your jijaji,
CA Topper, before today?
[scoffs]
A woman looks very differently…
at the man who gives her happiness.
Her eyes tell the secret of how special the man is to her.
You don't look at Ehsaan Bhai in that way at all.
What do you want?
Listen, I'm not trying to blackmail you.
I am a woman, so I can understand, why you did what you did.
If CA Topper made you happy for even a moment,
then please you have to help him out.
He really needs it.
[Jameela] You invited your guests to stay for dinner but
they are leaving empty-handed?
Help them if you can.
And anyway, he is an officer in a government organization.
He can pass your files if the need arises.
Bhabhiji mentioned that he is a CA.
In fact, he is a CA topper.
[quirky music playing]
And he can handle your accounts at the end of the year.
Please don't say no.
Anyway, Nadeem and Asthana are not doing anything useful with their time.
Let them both… shadow him.
[tense music playing]
[Lalita] Mm-hmm.
Mishraji, this is Salman Qureshi's file.
Ehsaan Bhai has sent it. He said he'll pick it up tomorrow.
EHSAAN QURESHI'S REFERENCE
[Lalita speaking indistinctly on phone]
-[Mishra] Lalitaji. -[Lalita] Yes?
[Mishra] Put a note sheet on this one. Checked and approved, okay?
-I'm signing it right now. -[Lalita] Okay.
[cell phone ringing]
[Abdul over phone] Mishraji, are you coming to me, or should I come to you?
[Mishra] Abdul Bhai, I'm making arrangements for the payment.
[dramatic music playing]
-[Asthana] What's up, fucker! -[Nadeem] I'll break your fucking balls.
[guns click]
[knocking on door]
CA Topper.
[dramatic music playing]
Where are you two going? Who are you?
[Nadeem] What a fucking fun place, fucker!
[quirky music continues]
[music fades]
Who are these people?
They… they are my security.
I've just come for a simple service.
It's not a national secret that I have to deal with security.
-I'm really sorry about this. -Hey!
Ma'am, they are completely safe. You don't need to worry at all.
Hear me out.
If you are cancelling the service, then you need to pay me.
Have you lost your mind?
You show up with these people, why would any woman be okay with it?
[slow, pensive music playing]
Bhai sahab,
in future, you can protect me from a safe distance.
Okay, fine, Mishraji. Chill.
[insulin injection clicks]
Why did you have to order your shoes online?
If you had asked me, I would have bought them.
I felt like it, that's why.
Why depend on anyone for something that I want?
-Listen… -Hmm.
Earlier you used to ask me to dance like a hero all the time.
Should I… dance for you?
[Bollywood music playing]
[man 1 in Hindi] ♪ Why does the heart beat like this? ♪
♪ Why is it in awe of you? ♪
♪ Why does the heart beat like this? ♪
♪ Why is it in awe of you? ♪
♪ Why does it yearn for you Over and over again? ♪
[woman 1] ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
[man 1] ♪ I have fallen in love ♪
♪ I have fallen in love ♪
[song changes]
[woman 2] ♪ He is very tall ♪
♪ Great physique ♪
♪ He is very tall, with great physique ♪
♪ One can spot him from afar Oh, that's my man, yes, yes, yes… ♪
[in English] Am I dancing well or not? Huh?
This is what you want from me, right?
-[Raja Bhai panting] -[song changes]
[man 3 in Hindi] ♪ I've traded heart for a heart ♪
♪ In this deal of love ♪
♪ I won the bet of love By losing my heart ♪
[woman] ♪ Conjurer, o, conjurer ♪
-[music fades slightly] -[slow, melancholic music playing]
[panting]
[breathless, in English] Listen, please tell me,
I danced better than that Madhur Milaap lover of yours, right?
[subdued] You danced well. It was good.
[melancholic music continues]
[falteringly hums "Conjurer o conjurer" song]
[continues humming]
[eerie music playing]
[continues humming tonelessly, breathlessly]
[panting] "I danced well."
[diabolic music playing]
[melancholic music continues]
Bloody fucker.
[dramatic music playing]
[glass shattering]
[mirror clatters]
[diabolic music playing]
[door squeaks open]
[door closes]
[fan whirring]
[cell phone vibrating, ringing]
Dhaincha…
[voice shaking] your bhabhi has complete… completely changed, man!
She is not mine anymore.
You know, I danced for her today.
Just imagine that.
I must have looked like an idiot.
Like a bloody kangaroo type!
And yet I danced.
I think I got a very low rating.
Zero stars.
That bastard… [voice catches] …he managed to do
what your bhabhi used to expect from me.
The problem is that she… doesn't anymore.
I understand, Raja Bhai.
[Raja Bhai] Hey, Dhaincha!
We'll search the whole of Noida city
with a fine-tooth comb if that's what it takes.
[dramatic music playing]
But we have to find him.
Understood?
JAIN MANSION
[phone dialing]
-[Bindi] Hello, Dhaincha? -Yes, Bhabhi.
Need to discuss something personal.
Tell me, Bhabhi.
You already know about the mistake that I made.
Your Raja Bhai is trying to stay away from me these days.
So I was just thinking that
maybe I could take him out somewhere.
For dinner, maybe.
Surprise.
That's a good idea, Bhabhi!
So will you help me?
There's a hotel that I like.
Let's go there together in the evening and make a final plan.
We'll book the table when we are there, huh?
-Okay, listen. -Yes.
Don't tell Raja Bhai, okay? It has to be a surprise.
Yes, Bhabhi.
Hey. Where are you going?
I am going to deliver these cake boxes.
Actually, there's a friend of mine, uh, and he's introducing me to a hotelier.
He wants to taste the cake.
If you had told me you are going to meet a hotel owner tonight,
I would have made more.
Now take these at least.
-I'll bake some more later. -Okay.
I just want to see how these orange, kesar cakes do at our shop.
Hey, that's good.
Trust me, Ashoklata, if they like it, we'll get a lot of orders.
You really boost me so much.
I'll go?
[cell phone ringing]
Yes, Bindiji?
-[Bindi] You're on your way, right? -Yes.
Dhaincha and I are reaching there in a minute.
Once you get a proper look at his face, you can leave.
Yes. Definitely. Okay.
You'll recognize him if you see him again.
There won't be any room for doubt.
[slow, instrumental music playing]
[indistinct chatter]
-[manager] Hello, ma'am. -Hello.
I want to book a table for two.
-The menu is completely veg, right? -[manager] Yes, ma'am.
For when and at what time?
[man] A booking for today,
and for right now!
[diabolic music playing]
[chuckling] Bhabhi, you wanted to do something for Raja Bhai today,
and Raja Bhai wanted to do something special for you.
I heard he even danced for you.
So, before you surprised him,
I thought maybe, Raja Bhai could do something to surprise you first.
Good job, no, Bhabhi?
[Bindi] Hmm… these starters should be enough.
I'll let you know when we are ready to order the main course. Okay?
-Okay, ma'am. -[Bindi] We'll keep this with us.
I'll let you know if we need anything else at all.
[waiter] Sure, ma'am.
Hey, how can you start drinking before eating something?
[Raja Bhai] I'm very happy today, Bindi. Let me drink as much as I want to.
[low, dramatic music playing]
[hesitates] I'm going to the bathroom.
-Hmm? -[Raja Bhai] Hmm.
That bald man, that's Dhaincha? The baldie?
No, that's Teeka Ram, my husband.
Dhaincha, he's the man who's sitting at the table behind us.
I… I didn't see him.
My husband decided to surprise me today.
That's why I didn’t get a chance to call you and warn you at all.
He doesn't trust me anymore, no?
That's why he showed up tonight.
-Teeka Ram… -Don't be scared.
See him properly, okay?
Good that both of them are here.
You got a chance to see who the main man is and what he looks like.
[Raja Bhai] Who looks like what, Bindi?
[diabolic music playing]
Hmm?
Who did you find out about?
He…
And who is this bhai sahab?
He… Remember I told you that I order cake online?
Cake?
I even made you taste it the other day.
This is the man.
The one who delivers the cake?
His service has really good ratings.
When he saw me, he came over to say namaste.
Namaste.
-Namaste. -Namaste.
Have you been waiting here long?
-[Raja Bhai] Huh? I just walked in. -Okay.
[Raja Bhai] I need to pee.
Okay.
-Namaste. -[diabolic music playing]
Bhai, the cake you sent us was just outstanding, man!
[Bindi] And yet you refuse to stock it in your shop.
I need to start taking my wife's advice from now on.
Come on, buddy.
Why don't you join us?
Let's grab a couple of drinks and then discuss business. Come.
-Actually-- -No, you were on your way to the bathroom.
-We should let him carry on. -I'll have a drink with him first.
And then I can let it all flow down the drain, right?
No, no, no, I need to deliver these cakes.
-I have quite a few orders. -Let's go.
-So-- -Hey, Dhaincha.
[Dhaincha] Yes, Raja Bhai?
Just take these cake boxes and put them in the car.
These are samples.
If you fucking do this again, I'll slap you so hard you won't forget
and then I'll take the car back from you.
-Take the car back? -Yeah.
Fucker! You can barely walk properly.
And you want to take the car. [scoffs]
Motherfucker.
This was the asshole who broke my leg.
-I will fuck his happiness now! -Hold on!
Ehsaan Bhai did not ask us to do all this. Calm down!
Did Ehsaan Bhai break his leg? Huh?
Did Ehsaan Bhai break his leg?
It cost 15,000 to fix it. And I was lectured about it!
-Why don't you ask Ehsaan Bhai about this? -Hey, stay calm, my Bhimsen!
Look, he's going inside.
So what, huh? I'll go and bury him alive! Fucker.
[lively, upbeat music playing]
[all three grunting, groaning]
I'm so happy that I met you today, man.
Because of late,
life has been a real bitch!
[Dhaincha] I miss Lappu all the time, Raja Bhai. [clicks tongue]
[Dhaincha splutters]
His body was…
It was found floating in a bathtub.
I don't even have a bathtub in my home. [chuckles]
Middle-class people cannot even imagine having a bathtub.
[Raja Bhai] Fucker!
One bloody bastard killed our Lappu.
[tense music playing]
The thing is that my wife…
was involved with that bloody motherfucker.
Really?
But I won't let him go!
[gun clicks]
We both have sworn to kill him!
Bhai sahab, that reminds me,
some fucking bastards are after my life also.
But I've made sure I won't let them go.
I've made my own arrangements.
Which fucker is after your life?
I'm here for you. What's his name?
We'll shove firecrackers up his ass, light it up and then it's "Happy Diwali"!
-Who is it? -I'll tell you his name, right away.
-[tapping] -And his name is…
-Uh-- [chuckles] -[Bindi coughs softly]
No, no, no. You told me your story first.
Yeah.
So you should name your bastard first.
After that, I will tell you my bastard's name. Good idea? Huh?
I think it's time to, uh, order the main course.
-I'm feeling very hungry. -No, Bhabhi.
[Mishra clicks tongue] Hey…
I don't know his name yet, but…
But he…
he had a tattoo on his arm that I have clearly seen.
[tense music playing]
It was on this part of his arm.
[music intensifies]
Just like this.
MUMMY
[music swells]
[music crescendos]
-[glass shatters] -[Bindi] Hey, man! [clicks tongue]
Hey!
-[Dhaincha] Oi! -Ask them to send someone.
Hey, guys,
if I hold on any longer…
[straining] …my bladder is definitely going to explode.
I need to go right now.
I'm coming with you, Raja Bhai.
Yes, even I need to go really badly!
We'll finish the rest of our discussion in the bathroom.
[Mishra] Let's reveal the names there. Huh?
[grunts, clears throat]
-[Raja Bhai] Yes, come. -Bhabhi, order some food in the meantime.
Okay?
-[Mishra] Hey, gun. -[Raja Bhai] My gun.
Oh shit, I forgot to take my gun.
[Dhaincha] Hey, waiter! Take the order.
[Raja Bhai] Let's order some kulfi and falooda also, Dhaincha.
Raja Bhai, you have a sugar problem.
[door clicks]
Why don’t they write fucking "Gents"? What is bloody "Him?"
This is too high for me, man.
-[grunts] -[Mishra] Hey, what are you doing?
-Bhai sahab, bhai sahab? -[grunts] Huh?
-This is for washing your face. -Really?
You have to pee here.
But both look the same to me!
Keep going straight. There you go. You made it.
[Raja Bhai groans]
-This one's too far to the side. -[grunts]
-Time to pee. -I'm feeling so bad for you.
I mean, what kind of an asshole would dare to touch your wife?
Bhai sahab, that must have really hurt you.
-Right? -A lot.
I was also very hurt.
He murdered my best friend Lappu.
-Motherfucker! -[door clicks]
Lappu is a fucking idiotic name. [chuckles]
How did you make friends with such a guy?
In friendship, the name doesn't matter, bhai sahab.
And don't say "fuck."
[Mishra] I normally never say "fuck."
I don’t why I'm saying it so much today. Fuck!
[Dhaincha] I will cut that fucker up into small little pieces.
[Raja Bhai] Listen, after we finish up here,
let's exchange the names of our enemies, all right?
[Mishra] Yes, bhai sahab. I also happen to believe in give and take.
What is this fragrance?
[Raja Bhai grunts]
[Mishra chuckles]
[tense music playing]
[all grunting]
[gasps]
Motherfucker! [grunts]
Fuck this bloody asshole!
I'll kill him Hey! Hey, Dhaincha! Hey, Dhaincha!
Move! Hey, leave him, fucker.
Hey, bloody move this fucker! I'll kill him. Just get out of the way!
[screams]
[Dhaincha grunts] Raja Bhai, move.
Who are you, motherfucker? You wore a mask and came, fucker?
[screaming]
[gunshots]
I'm going to shove your mask up your ass.
Take out your fucking gun!
[gunshots]
[Dhaincha] Come on, take it out, bhai.
[Bindi gasps]
-[Bindi gasps] -You, why did you come inside?
When someone you love is in trouble, what are you supposed to do?
[Nadeem] Kill that bastard!
[Mishra screams]
[gunshots]
[Dhaincha] Start shooting! What the fuck are you saving your gun for?
-[gunshots] -[bullets ricocheting]
Asshole.
[Mishra panting]
[grunting] I am okay.
[gunshot]
-[Mishra screams] -[gunshot]
-No need for you to act like a hero. -[gunshot]
Come on, hurry up.
[Dhaincha] Fucker!
-[gunshots] -[slow music playing]
-[gunshots] -[bullets ricocheting]
[grunts]
[Bindi] Hey!
Come on.
-[gunshots continues] -[Mishra panting]
[Mishra, Bindi panting]
Ah, ah, my God!
[quirky music playing]
The thing is, I really like wearing women's underwear.
-That's why I-- -Shh!
[Mishra grunting]
I have no idea who this is! Motherfucker! Do we have enough bullets or not?
-Give me one. -Fucker, you had come to pee, no? Huh?
Recce, recce!
[gunshots continue]
[Mishra grunting, yelps]
[coughing breathlessly]
[gunshots continue]
[glass shatters outside]
Did I call you here to have a drink with my husband?
No.
The problem is, you men have no control over yourselves.
That's why the women need to take charge of the situation.
-[Nadeem] Why can't you kill him? -[gunshots]
-[bullets ricocheting]
[all yelping, grunting]
[dramatic music playing]
[music mellows]
[water dripping outside]
[grunting]
-[flushing] -Shit!
Asshole.
[guns cocking]
[tense music playing]
[music intensifies]
-[whimpers] -[gunshots in next cubicles]
[quirky music playing]
[gunshots continue]
[dramatic music playing]
[guns clicking]
Eh, stop! Where the fuck are you running?
-Fucker! Completely killed my buzz. -[water spraying]
Motherfucker.
You are such an asshole.
He wants protection from that halwai and his gang?
Motherfucker!
If I had a few more bullets, I would have finished them all off today.
If I had got shot today, it could have been the end for me also.
And bhaiya, from now on,
no matter wherever I am,
or whatever is happening…
-Hmm. -…you two please do not interfere at all.
-Okay. -Unless I ask you to.
-Yes, I understood. -Unless I ask you, don't interfere.
-I beg of you. -Okay. Okay.
Don't tell Ehsaan Bhai about what happened here today.
Dhaincha got away again. Fucker!
-[Nadeem] Watch the road! -[car honks loudly]
[dogs barking]
[insects chirping]
PAPA - MUMMY
[tense music playing]
[music swells]
[music fades]
Where are you coming from at this hour?
Went to deliver cake or went out drinking?
Who were you with?
Ashoklata sleeps early, but I am always awake.
One eye is enough to keep a check on you.
It's my x-ray eye, x-ray! Tell me, come on, tell me.
-[gun clicks] -[Amma gasps]
[whimpers]
Should I take your x-ray? Should I do it, you old bag! Huh?
Always staring at everyone with that one eye of yours!
-Should I stab it? I'll stab it? Huh? -[whimpers]
Blood-sucking evil witch! You've bloody sucked my blood! My blood!
Listen, I'll hang you from the ceiling fan and I'll make sure it's on full speed.
-Huh? -[whimpers]
You really enjoyed it, no?
Sitting on the merry-go-round when we went to the mela?
I'll make sure you spin round and round. I won't stop the fan.
Understood?
-Fat, greedy, old woman! Huh? -[whimpering]
Always hungry, huh? Always drooling over food.
Want sizzlers? Huh? Smoking hot sizzler for you?
[whimpers]
I'll put you on a bloody blazing hot pan,
your whole body will start smoking like a bloody sizzler.
-Your entire body, understood? -[whimpers]
Tell me. Tell me, what were you saying?
-What were you saying? Huh? -[spluttering] N-n-n-nothing, nothing.
-You were saying something. -Uh, made a mistake, beta.
M-m-mistake.
I'm so sick and tired of you, listening to your nonsense.
No, I won't say anything, won't say anything.
You want to see what your damaad can do? Should I show you? Come here!
Hmm. Come.
-You see them? -[whimpers] Hmm.
[diabolic music playing]
-You know who those people are? -[whimpers]
Your damaad's security.
Huh?
Security?
Do you understand what security is? Hmm?
And if you ever…
If you ever harass me again,
they will come inside and do more than just threaten you like me.
They'll shoot you.
Got it?
You like playing 'doctor-doctor' all the time, don't you? Hmm?
When I'm finished with you, I guarantee,
you'll spend the rest of your life lying in a hospital bed.
Hmm?
You will neither spy on me nor nag me again.
[whimpering]
Remember!
-[switch clicks] -Nev-- [grunts]
-[Ashoklata] When did you come? -Hmm?
And… what are you both doing in the kitchen?
Hey, your…
Amma was feeling very thirsty. She wanted water.
-What happened? Are you feeling okay? -Yes.
Don’t worry. I'll… I'll give her water.
[Ashoklata] Okay, give.
Take this.
Listen, drink all of it.
[gulps nosily]
[Amma] Enough.
Uh, I don't want more.
Not thirsty.
You remember, no, Amma wants to go to the market tomorrow
to buy some makeup items.
I'm busy at the bakery.
Can you take her?
[tense music playing]
No. It's not necessary.
I can always go with Shobha.
You are so busy.
You focus on your work.
[scoffs]
Okay.
-[Ashoklata] Let's sleep. -Hmm.
-Come. -Hmm. I'll…
PAPA - MUMMY
This is such a nice tattoo, sir. Why do you want to make a new design?
For variety, bhaiya. It gets boring after some time.
Do something different, no?
Hmm.
I have a masterpiece in mind, wait.
[machine whirs]
I went to the restaurant in the evening with my wife for some dinner.
Is that also a crime, Haider sahab?
Then I went to the bathroom to take a piss.
There were some people who got into a gunfight for no reason at all.
[diabolic music playing]
What can I do about that, tell me?
All that gunfire happened, and you did nothing?
Will you be able to recognize anybody?
You know who was behind this incident?
That's for you to tell me. How would I know?
[sarcastic tone] That is the job of the police department. Right, Dhaincha?
Yes, Raja Bhai.
I can't believe this is the city we live in.
These days I have started feeling very unsafe in Noida city.
What choice do you have? The police are totally useless.
You know, sometimes even I want to lodge a police complaint.
But then I remember I am the police.
Huh?
Give us that orange cake, man.
Give us some.
With such a big potbelly, how's the police going to run?
Who'll they run after? Who will they catch?
Huh? [chuckles]
Huh! I always tell my boys in the department,
"Eat in moderation and exercise daily."
[Mathew] Absolutely, sir.
Mm-hmm.
What a tasty cake, Jain sahab!
You make amazing cake here and yet you've never offered us any.
I'll put you in jail for this.
No.
This is my wife's favorite cake.
She orders it from somewhere.
I've just kept few samples.
You also have some, Mathew!
You have a sweet tooth. You can digest any damn thing.
Eat it.
-Eat. -[Mathew] Mm-hmm. Very good, sir.
Very nice, Jain sahab.
-Sir, can we take some for our home? -[Ali] You took the words out of my mouth.
Pack it up, Jain sahab.
[Ali] Prakash beta, distribute this cake.
While we were investigating at Madhur Milaap,
we had the same cake, right?
101% it was this one, sir.
Confirmed.
It was a unique flavor.
Exactly like this one.
Isn’t this Teeka Ram Jain's wife's favorite cake?
[dramatic music playing]
[machine whirring]
[Shobha] Yes, stop, stop.
How much is it?
-One-fifty. -One-fifty?
-Yes, ma'am. -It should be 70 but you want 150.
Why? Because there were no other autos, right?
Hmm.
-Wait, I'll give you. -[unzips purse]
-[diabolic music playing] -[gasps]
[Shobha] What happened?
-[driver] I don't want it. -What? Why? Hey, what happened?
-Won't loot me today? -[driver] No, no.
But you loot the public every day.
People stranded in rain and sun call out the autowallas and you act like the mafia.
Aren't you ashamed?
-[Amma wheezing] -Ammaji, please come out, no?
-Get off the auto. -Huh.
-I won't even pay you 70. -[driver] Yeah, okay.
Get lost. Come on, get lost. Get out of here. Go!
Get lost!
Shobha, what are you doing?
This is not a movie where you just point a gun at anyone.
Why did you get the gun? It's such a dangerous thing!
Didn't I tell you, when my heart finds what it loves,
I won't focus on anything else?
I finally found it.
Okay, we'll head back. Pranaam.
It's a toy gun, Amma, for Holi.
Holi is coming soon. So we're getting ready for it.
[bike engine starts]
Oh God! Save me!
[classical Hindustani music playing on radio]
Chaurasiya, give me two sweet paan.
Sahab, it's you!
-I was to close the shop and come to you. -Why?
You asked for something that day? I did some arrangement and got it.
Hey, Chaurasiya!
[dramatic music playing]
Hey! Have you gone mad?
You wanted to send people on a ride.
But I was talking about getting a real horse! [scoffs]
Like the song, "Lakdi ki kaathi, kaathi pe ghoda…"
That, uh, giddyap, giddyap one.
Uh…
Put that away now. You'll hurt someone. So dangerous.
Hey, I'm sure you must have seen only one of my hands. Am I right?
This, this is what you saw, this.
If you'd seen both my hands, you would've understood, like this.
A horse. This is what I meant.
This! This is what I wanted, a horse!
The truth is, I wanted to surprise you
since we hadn't done anything in a long time.
I thought we could take a horse ride and go out.
And now you've ruined my surprise for her.
Oh, sahab, I… I think I misunderstood you.
Uh, please forgive me.
How many paan do you want?
What's going on?
Our local paan vendor is roaming around with a gun.
Unbelievable!
It's kalyug, Ashoklata. Everybody seems to have a gun these days.
But were you really planning to give me a surprise?
Of course. And that Chaurasiya ruined everything.
You've been doing such strange things lately.
Got a tomato tattooed on that one.
And you say you also want to take me on a horse ride.
I was thinking of a cherry but looks like he preferred to make a tomato.
[indistinct chatter]
[diabolic music playing]
[Ali] This cake is just in front of you.
You haven't even taken a bite, bhabhiji.
You won't find this cake anywhere else in Noida, bhabhiji. Right, Mathew?
Yes, sir.
But bhabhiji refuses to have a bite.
Why did you ask me to open the box?
Using a guest as an excuse.
[Ali] Bhabhiji, please have some.
This plate is also from your shop. Don’t you recognize it?
Hmm. It's tasty, right?
We brought this cake from your husband's shop.
He told us you are the one who orders it at home.
So if you can order this cake at your home,
you could have ordered it at the hotel also. Huh?
You were there that day, right?
In that room at Madhur Milaap?
When Lappu was murdered? Huh?
So you're telling me that you have built a case on some cake theory?
This is why murder cases don't get solved.
Don't you think it's possible that Lappu ordered this cake himself?
It is also possible that he took some of the cake from our house.
How am I supposed to know?
Hmm. How are you supposed to know?
[dramatic music playing]
Hey!
Maybe Lappu also took an anklet from your home?
Hmm?
You and Lappu, in the lodge room together.
I guess you and Lappu were having an affair. Hmm?
Teeka Ram found out your secret, and so he took care of Lappu.
This is what happened, right?
A man whose respect is flushed down the toilet of some shady hotel
will lose his mind, right?
[Mathew] Correct, sir.
Look, bhabhiji,
whatever may have happened between you and Lappu is personal and private to you.
We have no interest in it. Right, sir?
We only want you to cooperate with us.
Making sure Teeka Ram gets convicted is our problem.
We will make sure he gets a life sentence.
Hmm?
And don't worry about your secret.
It is safe with us.
[tense music playing]
Bhabhiji is thinking about it, sir.
-[Ali] Can I tell you something, Mathew? -[Mathew] Sir.
Bhabhiji will do the right thing,
because if she doesn't, then she will definitely get in trouble.
-[Mathew chuckles] -[Ali] I'm sure.
Give us Teeka Ram, bhabhiji. Why do you want to suffer for him?
[Ali] Don't pressure her, bhai.
Bhabhiji, if our theory is wrong,
then pretend you came here to celebrate my birthday and you had the cake.
[Mathew, Ali chuckling]
But if we are right, then protecting you from Teeka Ram is our job.
He can't escape.
Hmm.
Are both of you done with discussing these baseless accusations?
May I leave?
[Ali] Yes, you may, but think about it.
[dramatic music playing]
[music fades]
-[train chugging] -[temple bells ringing]
Why did you ask me to come here?
We could have spoken on the phone, right?
If someone sees us, we could get into trouble.
Even I don't like meeting you secretly like this.
That's why I called you here.
Let's put an end to all this.
-Take me away from here. -Where?
Somewhere nobody can get to us. Where we're not afraid to be seen.
A place where it's only you and me.
Take me away, Tribhuvan.
-Please take me away. -Bindiji, what are you saying?
[Bindi] Look at this.
[Mishra] What is this?
This is our bhujiya's secret recipe.
Now we can open a shop in another city
and we can get married, and we can build a small world of our own.
-Set! -[Mishra] Hey!
[sputtering] Bindiji. Listen to me. Wait…
-Bindiji. Uh, no, no, no, no-- -Don't be afraid.
I will figure out how to handle Jain sahab.
I'll get him thrown in jail, let him rot there forever.
[slow music playing]
We fell in love with each other, right?
We haven't committed any crime.
Why should we bear the pain of being away from each other?
[Mishra sighs]
Come like a hero and rescue your heroine,
from the villain's clutches and take her away forever.
What hero?
What heroine?
What are you talking about? Do you think we’re in a film?
-This happens only in movies! -Films mirror whatever happens in society.
-Haven't you heard this? -Huh?
And you love me, no?
The cake? Did you ever take cake for anyone else? Come on, tell me?
No.
Isn't that love? This is love.
Pyaar, ishq, mohabbat, prem, love, whatever you may call it.
No matter how you express it to someone,
it means the same thing.
To live together and to die together.
"To live together and to die together."
-What are you saying, Bindiji? -Don't be afraid, Tribhuvan.
Look, in your home, you're a stranger to your wife,
and in my home, I'm a stranger to my husband.
Neither are you happy nor am I.
I am extremely happy in my home.
My wife loves me very much.
You know, I only got into this mess for the sake of my family.
I am not going to leave my wife and go anywhere.
And there was… There was never a moment when I loved you.
[slow music playing]
Not even for a second, Bindiji.
So you’re saying that I was never special to you?
You were.
Yes, for the hours that you hired me to provide a service to you.
You were my client.
Yes, I gave you happiness, but you paid me in return.
This was a transaction.
Debit, credit. That's all.
Okay? Do you understand?
Understood.
You were also like this with everyone else?
-The way you were with me? -Yes.
Exactly like that.
Because, when I provide good service,
then apart from my fees, clients also give me a tip.
And that tip is very important for me.
I don't think you understand what I'm saying.
[slow, melancholic music playing]
You turned out to be exactly like my husband.
Even he believes strongly in client servicing.
He too always has money on his mind.
So what if the heart remains empty.
Sorry that I called you here today.
Take this. Your fees for this one hour.
Tip included.
[woman in Hindi] ♪ Like a mirror, I shattered ♪
♪ You went away from me ♪
♪ I went away from you… ♪
[in English] You know, you never loved me.
Or you would have brought me some cake.
But you didn't.
[woman in Hindi] ♪ You've changed ♪
♪ Moved ahead ♪
♪ We walked together ♪
♪ But I slipped ♪
♪ I fell madly in love with you for sure ♪
♪ You went away from me ♪
♪ I went away from you ♪
♪ Like a mirror, I shattered ♪