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‎NETFLIX 原創影集

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‎你甚麼時候發現的？

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‎水管開始漏水

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‎壁紙開始濕掉

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‎然後就形成了這個圖樣

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‎你甚麼時候開始覺得
‎“噢，那水漬好像肯尼斯布萊納”？

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‎就是這裡的陰影開始形成的時候

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‎這邊很像他的嘴巴吧？

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‎-那只是一條線
‎-是啊

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‎很厲害吧？發人深省

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‎是啊…

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‎拍張照片

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‎可以嗎？

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‎好

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‎這報導肯定會讓我老婆非常開心

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‎-是嗎？
‎-最近她情緒低落

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‎-頭部被榔頭擊中了
‎-她頭部被榔頭擊中？

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‎有兩個男人坐著機車
‎搶她的包包

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‎揍她的頭，揍到她放手

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‎警察也不打算追過去
‎因為那兩個小子沒戴安全帽

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‎這樣追車很危險
‎警察可能會被告，所以就…

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‎政治正確真瘋狂吧？

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‎是的

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‎他的老婆被飛車黨搶劫

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‎還被人用榔頭打頭

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‎他回到家

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‎看到一個有點像肯尼斯布萊納的水漬

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‎而他就為這件事聯絡報社

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‎再說任何水漬都像肯尼斯布萊納

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‎他沒有明確的五官
‎想用他畫個諷刺畫都不行

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‎因為根本沒有五官能夠誇張化

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‎他只有一張臉
‎一張朦朧的米色臉

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‎換做我是他，我會戴眼鏡

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‎一副又大又紅的眼鏡

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‎當其他人問
‎“誰是肯尼斯布萊納？”

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‎“戴又大又紅的眼鏡那個”

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‎“原來是他！”

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‎我認為他蠻帥的
‎我很想長成肯尼斯布萊納那樣

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‎你當然想，因為你自己像史瑞克一樣

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‎那樣算是升級吧，至少長得像個人

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‎女生最愛了

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‎說到女生，我前幾晚和肥仔的媽約會

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‎等下報社再見吧

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‎大概要40塊，然後你要…

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‎-我的錢呢？
‎-喂，冷靜點

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‎-妳又是誰？
‎-你想要我是誰都可以

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‎你把我的60塊花到妓女身上？

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‎不…她是我的朋友

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‎我也不會收他60塊吧？

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‎更何況我不是妓女
‎我是性工作者

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‎失敬失敬…把錢還我！

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‎別那麼兇

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‎妳不是該忙著幫人打手槍嗎？

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‎我下一個客人三點才到

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‎你拿錢幹嘛了？不用想也知道

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‎-買毒品
‎-買毒品，那是我的毒品

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‎我們可以分著用

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‎為甚麼？那是我的

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‎你買了甚麼？

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‎-海洛因和一些大麻
‎-好

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‎我要大麻，海洛因你自己留著

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‎-真好
‎-但我沒帶在身上

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‎-不過我晚點可以拿過去
‎-好吧

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‎你住在這裡嗎？

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‎是的

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‎為甚麼？

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‎我被人從上一個車庫趕走囉

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‎我不是問你為何住這個車庫

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‎我是問你為何住在車庫裡？

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‎這事很常有
‎只是你們這種住象牙塔的人看不到

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‎好吧，因為我不是住在車庫
‎就代表我是個小公主

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‎別讓他碰我的東西，行嗎？

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‎說得像是我需要有尿漬的床墊

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‎去你的臭蟲

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‎別對他那麼兇，他女友過世了

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‎他這種人有女友？

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‎死於服藥過量
‎我想是她帶他吸毒的

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‎我們都做過讓自己後悔的事

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‎人都來了，你有甚麼需要？

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‎甚麼需要？

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‎任何事都行

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‎任何事都行？

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‎任何事都行…

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‎只要付50塊就行

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‎這也太糟了

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‎我快要吐了

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‎怎麼你不用完碗盤就先泡水？

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‎妳說：“只要付50塊就行的”

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‎你到底吃了多少次魚柳條配黃豆？

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‎不重要

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‎反正妳都洗好了，時間剛剛好

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‎你請清潔工會比較便宜吧

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‎清潔工收多少？

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‎時薪十塊錢吧？

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‎-所以我可以用五個小時？
‎-是的

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‎不管怎樣…

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‎-聊得蠻開心的
‎-不如喝杯茶再走吧？

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‎-好吧
‎-不，我是說我泡給妳…

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‎不用，我這樣就好

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‎妳叫甚麼名字？

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‎蘿絲

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‎真名

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‎你是稅務局的人嗎？

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‎我叫黛芙妮

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‎-你這是甚麼表情？
‎-蠻好的名字

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‎就是囉，不適合我

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‎-為甚麼？因為妳不夠好嗎？
‎-我不曉得

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‎名字很適合妳

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‎心底裡，妳就是黛芙妮

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‎人永遠不知道再來會遇到甚麼
‎前一刻還…

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‎幸福安全，還沾沾自喜

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‎下一刻，所有事物都被奪走了

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‎需要有備案

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‎我…

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‎我知道你妻子的事

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‎-朱利安告訴我了
‎-朱利安？

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‎那個皮包骨的混蛋！

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‎我請他進屋，結果他偷我錢

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‎不過他就是忍不住吧？

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‎他當然可以忍住

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‎那表示你不太瞭解吸毒成癮的事

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‎我可以用一句話表達，就像是

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‎“不是我的錯，我有成癮問題”

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‎這年頭甚麼都能成癮

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‎“噢，我喝醉時就忍不住要開車撞人

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‎我是酒鬼，可以放過我嗎？”

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‎還有食物成癮，什麼啊
‎我們都對食物有癮頭啊

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‎最糟的還有性愛成癮

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‎真是由出軌被活逮的人發明的

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‎性愛成癮者是我最好的客源

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‎妳為何要做這種職業？

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‎為了錢

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‎我知道，但為甚麼做這個…

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‎你這樣問純粹是因為我做這行吧

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‎我是說妳一開始怎麼進這行的？

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‎-你記得《麻雀變鳳凰》嗎？
‎-記得

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‎我覺得看起來超有魅力的

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‎真假？

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‎當然不是

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‎我不知道

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‎你絕對想不到

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‎有多少人期待性工作者
‎長得都像茱莉亞羅勃茲那樣

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‎然後出來是我這個樣子

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‎不過

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‎我有這個

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‎-那是甚麼？
‎-纖纖小手

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‎-有甚麼好？
‎-我的客人最愛了

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‎為甚麼？

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‎顯得他們的老二很大

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‎我學了不少

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‎-榮幸之至
‎-好，對了…

152
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‎給妳

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‎你真的沒有其他事要我做？

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‎是的

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‎好吧

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‎再見了

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‎我超喜歡你的狗狗

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‎我也是

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‎（秋葉安老院）

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‎才正要拿去洗的，放哪去了？

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‎好，遲早會找到的，沒事

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‎-嗨
‎-嗨

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‎-沒事吧？
‎-沒事

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‎爸，你好嗎？

165
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‎莉莎怎麼樣？

166
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‎天啊，爸，她已經死了

167
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‎拜託記住吧

168
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‎每次你問到，我都好心痛

169
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‎不如你就順他的意吧？

170
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‎為甚麼？

171
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‎因為這樣或許會讓他開心一點

172
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‎好吧，再次沒人顧慮我的感受

173
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‎我剛剛被一個妓女說教

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‎說我應該同情一個搶劫我的混蛋

175
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‎那聽起來…

176
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‎那個混蛋替我做事，妓女幫我洗碗

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‎是…很複雜的

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‎反正與我無關

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‎真有意思

180
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‎甚麼真有意思？

181
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‎就妳說“反正與我無關”的口氣

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‎-聽起來好像與妳有關一樣
‎-才沒有

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‎-明明就有
‎-你到底怎麼了？

184
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‎-甚麼…
‎-你怎麼不能正常點？

185
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‎我是知道你不太正常啦

186
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‎你尖酸刻薄、惱羞成怒

187
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‎抑鬱寡歡

188
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‎你如此憤世嫉俗
‎不過這個人是你爸啊

189
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‎-我知道
‎-你可以

190
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‎在陪他的十分鐘裡頭
‎假裝是正常人嗎？

191
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‎妳是挖苦我只陪他十分鐘嗎？

192
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‎不，我沒有要中傷你

193
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‎只是說或許接下來十分鐘…

194
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‎對於一個無關的人來說
‎妳意見還蠻多的

195
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‎他還是感受得到傷心

196
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‎-對，我明白…
‎-所有人都會

197
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‎只是妳作為照顧我爸的人

198
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‎對我這麼兇

199
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‎有點不太專業，對嗎？

200
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‎你就像推特上的酸民

201
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‎就因為你難過，大家都要陪你難過

202
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‎一開始我還想說先不跟你計較

203
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‎因為我猜你只是總是過得不順

204
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‎但也許，你純粹是個賤人而已

205
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‎聊得很順利

206
00:09:43,125 --> 00:09:43,965
‎賤人

207
00:09:46,605 --> 00:09:47,445
‎賤人

208
00:09:48,405 --> 00:09:49,245
‎是啊

209
00:09:51,565 --> 00:09:52,685
‎豈有此理

210
00:09:52,885 --> 00:09:56,445
‎她是護士
‎負責照顧我老人痴呆的父親

211
00:09:56,885 --> 00:10:00,325
‎然後她數落說我憤世嫉俗

212
00:10:00,685 --> 00:10:02,925
‎-不用擔心
‎-我知道

213
00:10:04,045 --> 00:10:06,005
‎-不過你確實憤世嫉俗
‎-是啊

214
00:10:08,125 --> 00:10:09,325
‎你知道她是對的

215
00:10:10,125 --> 00:10:10,965
‎甚麼？

216
00:10:12,725 --> 00:10:16,725
‎不敢相信，斯坦，你覺得呢？
‎這些女人聯手說我不是嗎？

217
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:18,365
‎他同意我的話

218
00:10:18,765 --> 00:10:20,685
‎-不意外
‎-向她道歉吧

219
00:10:21,405 --> 00:10:22,965
‎-道歉甚麼？
‎-不重要

220
00:10:23,605 --> 00:10:26,045
‎相信我
‎道歉會顯得你大方，並非懦弱

221
00:10:26,645 --> 00:10:29,045
‎我不能毫無原因就跑去道歉

222
00:10:29,125 --> 00:10:31,205
‎也不是毫無原因吧？

223
00:10:31,325 --> 00:10:36,045
‎你要為吵架的事道歉
‎畢竟你喜歡她，她也人很好

224
00:10:37,965 --> 00:10:39,205
‎她人很好吧？

225
00:10:40,725 --> 00:10:42,405
‎-她…
‎-那就沒錯了

226
00:10:44,485 --> 00:10:45,325
‎怎麼了？

227
00:10:46,725 --> 00:10:47,685
‎我就知道

228
00:10:49,165 --> 00:10:52,125
‎何不把這件事當成第一次打情罵俏

229
00:10:52,365 --> 00:10:53,525
‎也太荒謬了

230
00:10:54,125 --> 00:10:55,645
‎好，嗆得好

231
00:10:56,525 --> 00:10:58,325
‎好吧，下次再見了

232
00:10:59,245 --> 00:11:00,245
‎再見了，斯坦

233
00:11:21,045 --> 00:11:21,885
‎這週過得好嗎？

234
00:11:22,325 --> 00:11:23,285
‎當然過得不好

235
00:11:23,925 --> 00:11:27,325
‎-我怎麼會過得好？
‎-只有你知道答案

236
00:11:27,405 --> 00:11:28,725
‎那我付錢見你幹嘛？

237
00:11:29,645 --> 00:11:30,805
‎這是個好問題

238
00:11:32,725 --> 00:11:33,565
‎然後？

239
00:11:33,645 --> 00:11:35,005
‎你付錢見我幹嘛？

240
00:11:35,365 --> 00:11:37,725
‎所以我也要知道這個答案？

241
00:11:38,885 --> 00:11:42,045
‎東尼，我們是來問與答

242
00:11:42,125 --> 00:11:43,925
‎面對一些你自身的難題

243
00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:47,205
‎也許你自己不想揭曉答案

244
00:11:47,285 --> 00:11:50,485
‎也許想說沒有答案
‎對你來說比較好過

245
00:11:50,565 --> 00:11:53,325
‎答案其實顯而易見，不過你…

246
00:11:54,405 --> 00:11:57,245
‎比較傾向於接受自己的不幸

247
00:11:57,405 --> 00:12:00,365
‎不，我確實接受自己的不幸
‎我清楚知道自己為何傷感

248
00:12:00,445 --> 00:12:03,085
‎也知道唯一能讓我恢復過來的事

249
00:12:03,165 --> 00:12:04,165
‎絕不可能發生

250
00:12:04,365 --> 00:12:07,725
‎我不清楚的是
‎為何要付錢給一個完全不在乎我的人

251
00:12:07,965 --> 00:12:11,645
‎你生命中也有“在乎”你的人

252
00:12:11,805 --> 00:12:14,285
‎不過他們真會為你著想嗎？

253
00:12:14,845 --> 00:12:17,245
‎應該沒人知道，怎樣才是為我著想

254
00:12:17,325 --> 00:12:18,765
‎我認為答案就在你的心裡

255
00:12:18,845 --> 00:12:21,485
‎我單純不想再感到悲傷

256
00:12:24,325 --> 00:12:25,165
‎那就這樣做

257
00:12:25,885 --> 00:12:28,165
‎別再感到悲傷

258
00:12:32,365 --> 00:12:35,325
‎（坦伯里報章）

259
00:12:35,925 --> 00:12:39,085
‎我利用不嫌煩又清醒的時候

260
00:12:39,165 --> 00:12:42,085
‎整理了一些筆記

261
00:12:43,205 --> 00:12:47,565
‎我彙整了報導大綱
‎他們的名字、年齡和住址

262
00:12:47,645 --> 00:12:48,525
‎大家都喜歡這樣

263
00:12:48,845 --> 00:12:52,325
‎然後我會嘗試…把有夠爛的報導

264
00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:53,965
‎變得稍微有趣

265
00:12:55,125 --> 00:12:59,965
‎這傢伙的水管漏水，壁紙上出現水漬

266
00:13:00,045 --> 00:13:02,885
‎他說水漬長得很像肯尼斯布萊納

267
00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:06,125
‎-知道是誰嗎？
‎-不知道

268
00:13:06,645 --> 00:13:08,165
‎他是個老演員、導演

269
00:13:08,805 --> 00:13:09,645
‎和…

270
00:13:09,765 --> 00:13:11,725
‎-有聽過艾瑪湯普遜嗎？
‎-有

271
00:13:13,005 --> 00:13:15,565
‎他竟然沒比前妻有名…話說回來

272
00:13:16,285 --> 00:13:18,165
‎就是牆上的水漬

273
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:20,005
‎你有拍下的照片嗎？

274
00:13:20,485 --> 00:13:22,925
‎有，說到照片

275
00:13:23,445 --> 00:13:26,925
‎我拍了前幾天和肥仔媽約會的照片

276
00:13:27,005 --> 00:13:30,445
‎好，各位聽好，員工出遊

277
00:13:30,925 --> 00:13:31,765
‎不要

278
00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:33,925
‎一定要

279
00:13:34,525 --> 00:13:35,965
‎有助於團隊合作

280
00:13:36,045 --> 00:13:38,965
‎鎮上剛開了一間新的喜劇俱樂部
‎也有找我們下廣告

281
00:13:39,045 --> 00:13:41,445
‎既然如此，乾脆幫大家都買了門票

282
00:13:41,525 --> 00:13:43,165
‎我有說可以拿免費票耶

283
00:13:43,245 --> 00:13:45,165
‎我知道，不過要支持藝術創作吧

284
00:13:45,245 --> 00:13:47,805
‎很好看，都是很像樣的喜劇演員

285
00:13:48,765 --> 00:13:49,805
‎還有一位女性演出

286
00:13:53,405 --> 00:13:54,245
‎是嗎？

287
00:13:54,765 --> 00:13:57,285
‎我說說而已，看你有沒有反應

288
00:14:00,725 --> 00:14:03,045
‎好，大家都來吧，會很好玩的

289
00:14:03,125 --> 00:14:05,685
‎-不會好玩的
‎-東尼，會好玩的，來試試吧

290
00:14:07,045 --> 00:14:09,765
‎說到好玩，我那天約會可好玩了…

291
00:14:09,845 --> 00:14:11,685
‎-東尼
‎-噢

292
00:14:11,765 --> 00:14:13,325
‎-那是誰？
‎-本地的瘋子

293
00:14:14,605 --> 00:14:16,605
‎總是想上報吧，布萊恩？

294
00:14:16,685 --> 00:14:17,525
‎她是新來的

295
00:14:18,445 --> 00:14:19,285
‎沒錯

296
00:14:20,645 --> 00:14:22,805
‎-你臭死了
‎-不重要

297
00:14:23,005 --> 00:14:25,925
‎我有東西給你做頭條
‎不知道你有沒有興趣

298
00:14:26,165 --> 00:14:28,165
‎-沒有
‎-佛萊迪墨裘瑞的牙齒

299
00:14:29,125 --> 00:14:31,565
‎-哪裡搞來的？
‎-公園的鞦韆旁邊

300
00:14:31,645 --> 00:14:33,005
‎何以見得是他的牙齒？

301
00:14:34,405 --> 00:14:35,565
‎朋友，看這牙齒的大小

302
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:37,365
‎有夠嘔心

303
00:14:37,525 --> 00:14:40,125
‎不如妳乖乖閉嘴吧，長舌婦

304
00:14:40,205 --> 00:14:41,845
‎布萊恩，你為何想要上報？

305
00:14:41,925 --> 00:14:44,405
‎我想給全世界看我有何能耐

306
00:14:44,645 --> 00:14:45,605
‎我患過的病

307
00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:48,285
‎-沒有人想知道你患過的病
‎-是嗎？

308
00:14:48,485 --> 00:14:49,565
‎-沒有
‎-性奴？

309
00:14:49,645 --> 00:14:50,485
‎-不
‎-不行？

310
00:14:51,005 --> 00:14:52,525
‎我是換妻俱樂部的成員

311
00:14:53,045 --> 00:14:55,245
‎你們知道坦伯里足球隊的副理吧？

312
00:14:55,325 --> 00:14:58,765
‎我幫他口交過
‎好好寫在體育版上吧

313
00:14:58,845 --> 00:15:00,845
‎我們不會寫在體育版上的

314
00:15:00,925 --> 00:15:03,605
‎這不是佛萊迪墨裘瑞的牙齒
‎也不要報導你患的病

315
00:15:03,685 --> 00:15:05,805
‎這份本地報章是給老太婆

316
00:15:05,885 --> 00:15:08,085
‎她們的大肥貓
‎和在樹上找到帽子的人看的

317
00:15:08,165 --> 00:15:09,285
‎我們不會突然報導出

318
00:15:09,365 --> 00:15:11,965
‎“布萊恩吉滕斯，本地白痴

319
00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:14,445
‎以幫球隊一個智障吸屌為榮”
‎你想想嘛

320
00:15:15,645 --> 00:15:16,805
‎你們有笑話版嗎？

321
00:15:16,885 --> 00:15:17,725
‎沒有

322
00:15:17,805 --> 00:15:20,485
‎那就錯失良機了
‎我有自己寫笑話，想聽嗎？

323
00:15:21,805 --> 00:15:25,485
‎一隻殘障的章魚
‎和我前妻會生出甚麼來？

324
00:15:26,885 --> 00:15:28,045
‎五腳騷貨

325
00:15:30,245 --> 00:15:32,125
‎布萊恩，不是每個人都能上報

326
00:15:32,205 --> 00:15:34,085
‎也不是每個人都能幫賈姬考琳絲指交

327
00:15:34,165 --> 00:15:35,005
‎-你有嗎？
‎-沒有

328
00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:38,205
‎又有哪家媒體在意過了？

329
00:15:39,365 --> 00:15:40,245
‎對嗎？

330
00:15:40,685 --> 00:15:43,085
‎很好笑，行了沒？再見

331
00:15:43,205 --> 00:15:44,285
‎-好
‎-再見

332
00:15:56,925 --> 00:15:58,165
‎我想到一篇好的專題報導

333
00:15:59,605 --> 00:16:01,125
‎-妳沒有
‎-沒禮貌

334
00:16:01,205 --> 00:16:03,005
‎-你都還沒聽我說
‎-不需要

335
00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:05,205
‎-水晶
‎-早說了

336
00:16:05,845 --> 00:16:08,885
‎-它們的治療能量
‎-都是胡扯的

337
00:16:09,245 --> 00:16:11,125
‎-你思想真狹窄
‎-不是

338
00:16:11,205 --> 00:16:13,005
‎-你不相信任何事物
‎-才不是

339
00:16:13,085 --> 00:16:15,725
‎-你不是無神論者嗎？
‎-也不代表我毫無信念

340
00:16:15,805 --> 00:16:17,485
‎只代表我不相信任何神祇

341
00:16:17,565 --> 00:16:19,725
‎-你怎麼會不相信神的存在？
‎-哪個神？

342
00:16:21,005 --> 00:16:21,885
‎甚麼意思？

343
00:16:22,365 --> 00:16:24,525
‎呃…宙斯？

344
00:16:25,405 --> 00:16:26,885
‎-誰？
‎-希臘神

345
00:16:27,165 --> 00:16:28,725
‎拉神或象神

346
00:16:28,805 --> 00:16:31,005
‎不是那些，我是說聖經中的真神

347
00:16:31,085 --> 00:16:32,045
‎耶和華

348
00:16:32,165 --> 00:16:33,085
‎就上帝啊！

349
00:16:33,205 --> 00:16:36,845
‎妳既然不相信我剛才所提到的神

350
00:16:37,125 --> 00:16:39,005
‎我就是這樣不相信妳的神

351
00:16:39,245 --> 00:16:41,685
‎你怎能不相信上帝創造萬物？

352
00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:44,645
‎妳又為何會相信上帝創造萬物？

353
00:16:44,725 --> 00:16:46,005
‎因為實在太美妙

354
00:16:46,485 --> 00:16:48,045
‎不可能是巧合吧？

355
00:16:49,365 --> 00:16:50,565
‎怎麼，從大霹靂來的？

356
00:16:50,645 --> 00:16:53,245
‎一切憑空出現？根本沒可能

357
00:16:53,325 --> 00:16:54,885
‎妳說得對，這是上帝所為

358
00:16:55,485 --> 00:16:56,325
‎沒錯

359
00:16:56,805 --> 00:16:58,325
‎那上帝從哪裡來？

360
00:17:01,085 --> 00:17:02,045
‎祂一直都在

361
00:17:02,805 --> 00:17:04,125
‎真好回答，是吧？

362
00:17:10,965 --> 00:17:13,925
‎你一直對所有這些小事，樂此不疲

363
00:17:14,405 --> 00:17:16,085
‎和狗狗一起坐在沙發上

364
00:17:16,765 --> 00:17:18,085
‎臉上的表情還說著

365
00:17:18,165 --> 00:17:20,405
‎“我就愛和狗狗一起坐在沙發”

366
00:17:22,285 --> 00:17:23,525
‎替我親牠一下吧

367
00:17:24,565 --> 00:17:26,845
‎有空帶牠去沙灘，牠很喜歡的

368
00:17:27,645 --> 00:17:28,725
‎你也是

369
00:17:31,205 --> 00:17:33,885
‎想去沙灘嗎？想喔？

370
00:17:35,125 --> 00:17:36,325
‎走吧

371
00:19:03,725 --> 00:19:07,325
‎天啊，你為何要這樣做？

372
00:19:07,405 --> 00:19:08,285
‎妳好像很熱喔！

373
00:19:08,365 --> 00:19:11,325
‎我是睡著了，現在都濕透了

374
00:19:11,405 --> 00:19:13,405
‎你還嚇到狗狗了

375
00:19:14,045 --> 00:19:16,045
‎你很欠湊耶

376
00:19:17,045 --> 00:19:19,445
‎不如直接下水吧

377
00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:22,525
‎來，一起下水吧！你要來嗎？

378
00:19:22,925 --> 00:19:24,805
‎-不要
‎-東尼，過來吧

379
00:19:24,885 --> 00:19:26,885
‎-不要
‎-來吧

380
00:19:27,005 --> 00:19:27,845
‎來啊

381
00:19:28,325 --> 00:19:29,645
‎下水吧，東尼

382
00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:28,645
‎所以這才叫做運動襪

383
00:20:29,925 --> 00:20:32,165
‎謝謝各位，你們都非常棒

384
00:20:32,245 --> 00:20:33,645
‎幸好大家都很棒

385
00:20:34,165 --> 00:20:36,325
‎我這個禮拜遇上一些很悲傷的事

386
00:20:37,125 --> 00:20:38,445
‎再悲傷一點

387
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:41,405
‎對了

388
00:20:41,525 --> 00:20:43,685
‎我有朋友在上個禮拜自殺了

389
00:20:44,365 --> 00:20:47,205
‎是的，跑到樓上
‎把洗手間藥櫃的東西全都吞下吐

390
00:20:47,805 --> 00:20:49,045
‎結果被衛生棉條噎死

391
00:20:53,205 --> 00:20:54,165
‎被衛生棉條噎死

392
00:20:55,565 --> 00:20:58,405
‎這傢伙對這個笑話嗤之以鼻

393
00:20:58,525 --> 00:21:00,765
‎他的臉臭得像我祖母一樣

394
00:21:00,845 --> 00:21:01,925
‎天啊，不要

395
00:21:02,565 --> 00:21:04,605
‎老兄，開心點，或許根本沒有這回事

396
00:21:04,685 --> 00:21:07,605
‎坐在那邊擺出一張臭臉說
‎“我不會笑的”

397
00:21:07,685 --> 00:21:09,765
‎別這樣吧，大哥，你叫甚麼名字？

398
00:21:11,365 --> 00:21:12,325
‎你叫甚麼名字？

399
00:21:13,205 --> 00:21:15,325
‎-東尼
‎-東尼，說出口了，不太難吧

400
00:21:15,405 --> 00:21:16,645
‎東尼，你有甚麼故事？

401
00:21:18,165 --> 00:21:20,125
‎-我有甚麼故事？
‎-是的

402
00:21:20,205 --> 00:21:22,325
‎坐在前排，你有甚麼故事？

403
00:21:24,325 --> 00:21:26,725
‎我妻子在年初死了

404
00:21:27,845 --> 00:21:28,685
‎死於乳癌

405
00:21:30,725 --> 00:21:31,805
‎讓我一蹶不振

406
00:21:33,485 --> 00:21:35,165
‎每天…

407
00:21:36,245 --> 00:21:37,485
‎我都想著要自殺

408
00:21:37,925 --> 00:21:40,765
‎我再也找不到活下去的意義

409
00:21:52,725 --> 00:21:55,245
‎雨傘很奇怪吧？你有沒有試過…

410
00:21:56,165 --> 00:21:57,285
‎拿著傘…

411
00:21:58,165 --> 00:21:59,005
‎他自己問的

412
00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:00,725
‎對

413
00:22:01,045 --> 00:22:03,565
‎他自己問的，所以我老實回答

414
00:22:05,565 --> 00:22:07,765
‎-真相對你很重要吧？
‎-對…

415
00:22:07,845 --> 00:22:10,725
‎那我也老實跟你說
‎我受夠了，老兄

416
00:22:11,445 --> 00:22:14,765
‎我受夠每天工作都要擔心你

417
00:22:14,845 --> 00:22:16,605
‎擔心你接下來會做甚麼

418
00:22:16,685 --> 00:22:19,445
‎努力想出一堆你不該自殺的理由

419
00:22:19,805 --> 00:22:23,245
‎找來門票，試圖想逗你開心

420
00:22:23,845 --> 00:22:27,045
‎還是禮拜三呢，我應該要在家陪妻兒

421
00:22:27,125 --> 00:22:28,605
‎處理自己的問題

422
00:22:28,925 --> 00:22:32,885
‎所以他可以拿自殺開玩笑
‎而我就不能…

423
00:22:32,965 --> 00:22:35,805
‎東尼，事不關你，又不是拿你開玩笑

424
00:22:35,885 --> 00:22:37,565
‎假的，都是他編出來的

425
00:22:38,005 --> 00:22:41,925
‎他朋友顯然不是自殺
‎然後被衛生棉條噎死

426
00:22:42,005 --> 00:22:44,445
‎-我知道
‎-他不知道你的狀況

427
00:22:45,445 --> 00:22:46,565
‎他不知道的，要是他說

428
00:22:47,005 --> 00:22:50,205
‎“好，在座誰的妻子死了
‎又想要自殺的請舉手”

429
00:22:50,285 --> 00:22:53,325
‎你就可以說：“這邊”
‎他再說：“好，拿你來開個玩笑吧”

430
00:22:53,405 --> 00:22:55,285
‎好，也許我沒那個心情

431
00:22:55,365 --> 00:22:56,205
‎很好

432
00:22:56,285 --> 00:22:58,085
‎他想要讓大家開懷歡笑

433
00:23:00,525 --> 00:23:02,085
‎我也只是想讓你開懷歡笑

434
00:23:02,165 --> 00:23:04,005
‎我盡力要…

435
00:23:04,525 --> 00:23:05,485
‎讓你開心

436
00:23:06,765 --> 00:23:07,605
‎好吧

437
00:23:09,245 --> 00:23:10,085
‎再見了

438
00:23:15,285 --> 00:23:17,045
‎-好了嗎？
‎-好，明天見

439
00:23:17,125 --> 00:23:18,005
‎明天見

440
00:23:26,045 --> 00:23:28,445
‎你看…奧黛麗赫本

441
00:23:30,445 --> 00:23:31,885
‎牠是不是很可愛？

442
00:23:31,965 --> 00:23:34,285
‎布蘭迪，你好美喔

443
00:23:34,365 --> 00:23:37,285
‎牠被當成笑柄了

444
00:23:37,365 --> 00:23:38,525
‎是牠出的主意

445
00:23:38,765 --> 00:23:40,525
‎-花了多久？
‎-大概…

446
00:23:40,765 --> 00:23:42,085
‎-十分鐘
‎-太棒了

447
00:23:54,925 --> 00:23:56,245
‎我帶了禮物給你

448
00:23:56,885 --> 00:23:58,205
‎用你偷我的錢買的？

449
00:23:59,765 --> 00:24:00,765
‎-對…
‎-真有心

450
00:24:14,245 --> 00:24:17,085
‎你…真的不要摻一點這個？

451
00:24:19,005 --> 00:24:19,845
‎好，來吧

452
00:24:21,445 --> 00:24:22,285
‎你確定？

453
00:24:23,245 --> 00:24:24,605
‎最糟還能怎樣？

454
00:24:25,445 --> 00:24:27,205
‎我這樣囉

455
00:24:30,285 --> 00:24:32,165
‎很抱歉我…

456
00:24:33,405 --> 00:24:35,805
‎偷你的錢，那不是我的作風

457
00:24:36,205 --> 00:24:37,445
‎是被毒癮害的，對嗎？

458
00:24:39,005 --> 00:24:39,885
‎你們都有藉口

459
00:24:43,085 --> 00:24:45,245
‎我到現在都不敢相信
‎我們有共通點

460
00:24:48,045 --> 00:24:49,325
‎同樣失去了伴侶

461
00:24:50,285 --> 00:24:51,765
‎同樣想麻醉自己的悲痛

462
00:24:52,525 --> 00:24:53,485
‎同樣是窩囊廢…

463
00:24:54,165 --> 00:24:56,285
‎無意冒犯，不過我看到你…

464
00:24:56,525 --> 00:24:57,365
‎我就想…

465
00:24:57,845 --> 00:24:59,085
‎要死了

466
00:24:59,645 --> 00:25:00,565
‎我像你一樣

467
00:25:04,605 --> 00:25:05,485
‎才不是

468
00:25:20,845 --> 00:25:21,765
‎別再偷我的錢了