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‎NETFLIX 原創影集

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‎我活過最好的人生

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‎也找到了我夢寐以求的男人

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‎但世上沒了我，也會繼續運轉

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‎你也是

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‎盡情享樂吧

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‎我也要你遇到另一個人

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‎一個只差我一點點的人

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‎差一點點

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‎-妳好
‎-你好啊

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‎妳好嗎？

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‎-很好
‎-妳在做甚麼？

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‎看推特

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‎（坦伯里報章）

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‎有一則好新聞給你們追

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‎本地嬰兒，長得像阿道夫希特勒一樣

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‎那鬍子是胎記嗎？

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‎不，那是眼線筆畫的

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‎我們起初用麥克筆畫
‎不過花很久才能擦掉

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‎是的，用眼線筆就能隨時畫

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‎也能隨時擦掉

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‎等等

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‎所以他不是真的像希特勒

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‎真的很像

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‎不對

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‎不是自然像

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‎他不是生來就頭髮往前梳

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‎也沒有鬍子，對嗎？

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‎-希特勒生來也沒有
‎-說得好

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‎我要說的是，這不算大新聞吧？

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‎寫進報紙裡說

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‎“長得有點像希特勒的新生嬰兒”

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‎不太有趣

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‎前題是要有真正的鬍子

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‎把鬍子畫到任何嬰兒臉上
‎都會有點像希特勒

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‎黑人嬰兒就不行

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‎沒那麼像

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‎對

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‎黑人嬰兒可以裝成穆加比總統之類

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‎對，或中國嬰兒，可以裝成…

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‎-金正恩之類的
‎-對

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‎韓國嬰兒也可以

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‎我還有一個問題

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‎你們為何想要自己的孩子
‎長得像阿道夫希特勒

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‎你不是希特勒狂熱者吧？

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‎我們不是納粹分子

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‎-只是蠻有趣，對嗎？
‎-是啊

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‎希特勒應該是最搞笑的吧

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‎拍張照吧

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‎好

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‎微笑

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‎大家為了上報，真是無所不用其極

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‎很好笑吧？

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‎-是蠻有趣的
‎-是啊

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‎你也笑了

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‎他們應該趁現在去幫他辦護照

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‎讓他十年內都要用這張照片

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‎她來了

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‎-對
‎-願聞其詳

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‎-如果你是無神論者…
‎-我是

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‎-而你不相信有來世今生
‎-不相信

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‎也不相信有天堂和地獄那些東西

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‎那你何不隨意到處強姦和殺人？

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‎我有啊

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‎甚麼？

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‎我確實有隨意到處強姦和殺人
‎結果就是不姦不殺

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‎因為他有良知

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‎如果死亡就是終結
‎那有何意義？

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‎-甚麼有何意義？
‎-人生

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‎你不如乾脆自殺算了

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‎假設妳在看一部電影
‎看得很著迷

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‎一部凱文哈特演的電影

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‎好

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‎然後有人點出，這部電影會演完

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‎妳會說：“算了，有何意義？”
‎然後直接關掉嗎？

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‎不會，因為我可以重溫一遍

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‎我認為人生非常寶貴
‎因為人生沒有重溫這回事

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‎如果能讓妳好過一點
‎妳可以相信有來世

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‎但也不代表它存在

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‎但是當我們意識到，自己並非永生

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‎我認為這樣才讓生命變得奇妙吧

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‎終有一天，會吃最後一餐

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‎聞最後一朵鮮花
‎最後一次抱朋友

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‎也許不知道是最後一次

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‎所以才應該滿腔熱誠
‎去做自己喜愛的事

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‎珍惜剩餘的人生

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‎因為人生就這麼長

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‎我把《一路前行2》看了五遍

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‎-那妳就沒有浪費人生了
‎-絕對沒有

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‎沒有

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‎我喜歡關於凱文哈特的一切

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‎他的幽默感、喜劇

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‎-電影…
‎-主要是喜劇電影

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‎-主要是，對
‎-是啊

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‎讓自己撐過去最重要

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‎謝謝妳過來這邊

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‎榮幸之至

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‎對了

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‎這是朱利安凱恩的葬禮嗎？

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‎葬禮結束了

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‎你是親戚嗎？

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‎不，我是他朋友

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‎沒來也沒甚麼損失

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‎出席的人很少

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‎希望我的葬禮不是這樣

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‎當然

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‎我很期待這些葬禮，結果卻很冷清

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‎讓人難過

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‎也許下場葬禮會更好玩

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‎我很懷疑

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‎下場是嬰兒猝死

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‎他是你朋友嗎？

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‎是的，我以前的同事

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‎我很遺憾

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‎勸妳別吸到火化的煙，會吸嗨的

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‎相信我

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‎-嗨
‎-我錯過了

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‎大家都錯過了

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‎不重要了

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‎你最近怎麼樣？

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‎過得不錯

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‎照顧我爸的看護

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‎我準備約她出去

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‎-那很棒啊
‎-是嗎？

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‎是啊

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‎又少了一個好男人

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‎她還沒答應呢

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‎她會答應的

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‎瘋了才不答應

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‎你再次步入情場

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‎應該沒時間找我出來了吧

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‎講什麼蠢話

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‎相信我

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‎事情會變得很複雜

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‎沒人想要自己男友
‎和我這種人來往

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‎妳這種人？

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‎大好人

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‎-再見了
‎-再見

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‎爸，你好嗎？

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‎士兵今天又來過

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‎是嗎？

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‎是的

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‎在找我

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‎我讓她躲起來了

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‎他們是英軍還是德軍？

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‎德軍

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‎所以是納粹囉？

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‎對

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‎戰爭結束前，都躲起來比較好

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‎你是個好小子

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‎-是嗎？
‎-是啊

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‎我叫甚麼名字？

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‎查理

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‎對

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‎你怎麼認識我的？

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‎你偶爾會來

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‎對，我偶爾會來

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‎你是我的兒子

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‎對

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‎是你畫東西在壁紙上，對吧？

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‎對，是我

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‎我七歲的時候

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‎你記得喔？

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‎你媽可氣炸了

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‎真的

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‎不用擔心

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‎我在外頭小屋還有多的壁紙

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‎我明天去貼吧

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‎爸，你貼過了

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‎你那時隔天就貼好了

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‎對

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‎我明天去貼吧

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‎爸，我愛你

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‎同性戀

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‎後面掉下去了
‎妳往坐前一點，我幫妳拉起來

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‎好了

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‎我不想再來了

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‎我看不出有何意義

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‎心理治療是幫忙你應付自己的情緒

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‎如何幫助？

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‎你主動發問，證明你正在解決問題

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‎-是嗎？
‎-這是好問題

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‎問得非常好，東尼

184
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‎我們是要幫助你改變

185
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‎因為那些負面行為會強化你的問題

186
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‎我有甚麼負面行為？

187
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‎你自己也說了，你想懲罰這個世界

188
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‎-因為你失去了摯愛
‎-沒錯

189
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‎有些人活該受懲罰，包括我在內

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‎我以為自己能夠實施處罰

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‎不過我錯在，認為每個人都是賤人

192
00:10:08,565 --> 00:10:09,405
‎但事實並非如此

193
00:10:10,125 --> 00:10:11,485
‎有些人是好人，對吧？

194
00:10:11,565 --> 00:10:15,445
‎重點是要分出好人和爛人

195
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‎不過爛人很聰明
‎他們會假裝成好人

196
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‎假裝在乎你

197
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‎你就是個爛人

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‎所以我很聰明

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‎對

200
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‎-所以你想懲罰我嗎？
‎-其實不想

201
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‎-不想嗎？
‎-不想

202
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‎我只是不再需要你

203
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‎我不…

204
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‎我不再需要你了

205
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‎好的

206
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‎你不是個壞人

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‎你又不是希特勒

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‎你只是個豬頭

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‎你是臭傢伙

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‎感覺有好些了嗎？東尼

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‎有，也許罵人真的有用

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‎對，你無疑是個烏龜蛋

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‎烏龜蛋，臭癟三

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‎當初是你小叔麥特
‎把你的事情告訴我

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‎我們認為能對你有幫助…

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‎我知道，我還乖乖配合了一段時間

217
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‎我自己也搞不懂
‎我早就知道你是烏龜蛋

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‎-我只是想…
‎-感覺對他有幫助

219
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‎他的婚姻快要不行了

220
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‎甚麼？

221
00:11:17,405 --> 00:11:19,045
‎抱歉，我多嘴了

222
00:11:34,805 --> 00:11:36,245
‎你和吉兒都好嗎？

223
00:11:37,725 --> 00:11:38,645
‎甚麼？

224
00:11:39,085 --> 00:11:41,205
‎那個精神科醫師說你婚姻出了狀況

225
00:11:41,685 --> 00:11:44,005
‎-他不應該說的
‎-我知道，他是烏龜蛋

226
00:11:44,765 --> 00:11:45,605
‎那是真的嗎？

227
00:11:47,325 --> 00:11:48,525
‎對，我們婚姻出了問題

228
00:11:49,525 --> 00:11:51,685
‎那你有在解決嗎？

229
00:11:51,765 --> 00:11:53,365
‎有在努力了

230
00:11:53,445 --> 00:11:55,525
‎你們不會離婚之類吧？

231
00:11:55,605 --> 00:11:57,205
‎-就…
‎-也許吧？

232
00:11:57,285 --> 00:11:58,165
‎真假？

233
00:11:58,325 --> 00:11:59,285
‎別這樣

234
00:11:59,405 --> 00:12:03,285
‎其他人有問題
‎真的會讓你很意外嗎，東尼？

235
00:12:03,565 --> 00:12:05,205
‎家家有本難念的經

236
00:12:05,405 --> 00:12:07,285
‎大部分人會選擇自己解決

237
00:12:07,365 --> 00:12:09,205
‎不會像你那樣，到處宣揚

238
00:12:09,285 --> 00:12:11,045
‎每個人都有自己的鳥事

239
00:12:11,125 --> 00:12:13,605
‎如果下次你要對寫錯單的服務生無禮

240
00:12:13,725 --> 00:12:16,805
‎或別人不小心說了蠢話
‎就被你糗到下不了臺

241
00:12:16,885 --> 00:12:19,405
‎請記得他們可能考試剛被當

242
00:12:19,485 --> 00:12:22,085
‎被裁員、或是剛得知母親罹癌

243
00:12:23,245 --> 00:12:25,805
‎-那佐治怎麼辦？
‎-你以為我沒想過嗎？

244
00:12:26,365 --> 00:12:27,685
‎他不知道我們的婚姻問題

245
00:12:27,765 --> 00:12:30,485
‎老實說，他還更擔心自己的姑丈
‎活得像個瘋子一樣

246
00:12:30,605 --> 00:12:32,325
‎揚言說要自殺和殺人

247
00:12:32,405 --> 00:12:36,045
‎那至少跟他說不用擔心我

248
00:12:36,165 --> 00:12:37,685
‎絕對不會那樣

249
00:12:37,765 --> 00:12:40,765
‎不行，我不要告訴他一些
‎結果或許是謊話的事

250
00:12:40,845 --> 00:12:42,005
‎我不會自殺

251
00:12:44,925 --> 00:12:45,765
‎好

252
00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:48,645
‎對不起

253
00:12:49,045 --> 00:12:49,965
‎不用，你又不知道

254
00:12:50,725 --> 00:12:52,445
‎不是這件事，我是說…

255
00:12:53,845 --> 00:12:54,765
‎這陣子所有的事

256
00:12:56,605 --> 00:12:57,885
‎我痛苦得要死

257
00:13:01,725 --> 00:13:02,725
‎我喜歡這份工作

258
00:13:03,765 --> 00:13:06,365
‎只是以前做得比較好
‎比較努力上進

259
00:13:06,645 --> 00:13:07,485
‎不過…

260
00:13:10,085 --> 00:13:11,125
‎這是個工作的好地方

261
00:13:13,205 --> 00:13:14,285
‎即使有這幫白癡同事

262
00:13:15,645 --> 00:13:16,925
‎報導的小事確實重要

263
00:13:17,245 --> 00:13:21,685
‎這份爛爛的免費地方報紙

264
00:13:22,365 --> 00:13:24,285
‎能夠殺些時間

265
00:13:24,685 --> 00:13:25,685
‎還不錯看

266
00:13:27,205 --> 00:13:30,765
‎看到某人從樹上救下瞎眼小貓
‎可能會心微笑

267
00:13:30,885 --> 00:13:32,765
‎這份報紙不是用來看，是用來參與

268
00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:34,885
‎每個人都應該被登上這份報紙

269
00:13:35,005 --> 00:13:36,125
‎至少一次

270
00:13:36,925 --> 00:13:37,885
‎“我上過報紙”

271
00:13:40,085 --> 00:13:41,085
‎很窩心

272
00:13:45,285 --> 00:13:46,125
‎謝了，蘭尼

273
00:13:47,165 --> 00:13:48,085
‎謝甚麼？

274
00:13:48,365 --> 00:13:50,245
‎謝謝你當我的人肉減壓球

275
00:13:50,845 --> 00:13:52,125
‎讓我捏你的脖子

276
00:13:53,125 --> 00:13:54,685
‎你真是超棒的朋友

277
00:13:55,925 --> 00:13:56,805
‎不客氣

278
00:13:58,085 --> 00:13:59,285
‎珊迪，妳也很棒

279
00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:02,085
‎聰明又有衝勁

280
00:14:02,285 --> 00:14:03,405
‎不要失去這股幹勁

281
00:14:04,445 --> 00:14:05,605
‎妳可以實現所有的夢想

282
00:14:07,925 --> 00:14:09,005
‎凱絲

283
00:14:09,925 --> 00:14:11,525
‎謝謝妳煩著我

284
00:14:11,765 --> 00:14:12,725
‎每天都煩著我

285
00:14:13,245 --> 00:14:14,085
‎絕無例外

286
00:14:15,245 --> 00:14:16,765
‎妳那些陳腐的問題

287
00:14:17,445 --> 00:14:18,485
‎能讓我分心

288
00:14:21,485 --> 00:14:22,685
‎所以謝了

289
00:14:24,485 --> 00:14:25,725
‎我不知道他在瞎說些甚麼

290
00:14:25,885 --> 00:14:27,125
‎他在當好人吧

291
00:14:29,125 --> 00:14:30,125
‎這樣還更怪

292
00:14:31,125 --> 00:14:32,005
‎還有

293
00:14:32,485 --> 00:14:33,605
‎謝了，麥特

294
00:14:34,245 --> 00:14:35,565
‎謝謝你永不放棄

295
00:14:37,885 --> 00:14:40,565
‎你這樣肯定很像是想要從捕鼠夾

296
00:14:41,085 --> 00:14:43,405
‎救出一隻受傷又暴怒的老鼠

297
00:14:45,245 --> 00:14:47,565
‎你這是為牠好，但牠並不知道

298
00:14:47,645 --> 00:14:49,205
‎因為牠誰都不相信了

299
00:14:50,685 --> 00:14:51,765
‎所以牠就暴跳如雷

300
00:14:53,325 --> 00:14:54,525
‎你不能改變世界

301
00:14:55,725 --> 00:14:57,765
‎不過你…可以改變自己

302
00:15:00,565 --> 00:15:02,205
‎我也會更努力去改變自己

303
00:15:03,565 --> 00:15:04,685
‎我會留在這裡

304
00:15:05,085 --> 00:15:05,925
‎所以…

305
00:15:06,485 --> 00:15:07,485
‎算我贏吧？

306
00:15:08,685 --> 00:15:09,525
‎贏甚麼？

307
00:15:09,605 --> 00:15:11,205
‎我讓你活得夠久

308
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:13,725
‎讓你決定不會自殺
‎也可以再次開心

309
00:15:14,725 --> 00:15:15,645
‎說開心太遙遠

310
00:15:16,485 --> 00:15:19,205
‎但你不用再沒收我的鞋帶了

311
00:15:20,005 --> 00:15:20,845
‎好吧

312
00:15:23,445 --> 00:15:24,325
‎回去工作吧

313
00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:26,565
‎除非你有更好的去處

314
00:15:26,725 --> 00:15:28,165
‎還真的有更好的去處

315
00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:33,765
‎噢，又回來了

316
00:15:33,845 --> 00:15:34,685
‎嗨

317
00:15:37,725 --> 00:15:40,245
‎我想問妳願不願意和我出去

318
00:15:40,805 --> 00:15:41,645
‎喝一杯

319
00:15:42,045 --> 00:15:43,085
‎或吃頓飯

320
00:15:44,045 --> 00:15:45,165
‎噢…

321
00:15:46,725 --> 00:15:47,885
‎我不再憤世嫉俗了

322
00:15:48,405 --> 00:15:49,245
‎一點點啦

323
00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:52,525
‎不過就和正常人一樣

324
00:15:52,605 --> 00:15:54,205
‎我不知道這樣做對不對

325
00:15:54,965 --> 00:15:55,805
‎好

326
00:15:57,845 --> 00:15:59,965
‎我可以考慮一下嗎？

327
00:16:00,085 --> 00:16:00,965
‎可以

328
00:16:01,445 --> 00:16:02,445
‎我接受

329
00:16:02,885 --> 00:16:04,525
‎考慮一下，那很好

330
00:16:05,125 --> 00:16:06,045
‎還有希望

331
00:16:06,645 --> 00:16:08,045
‎希望代表一切

332
00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:11,765
‎不知道該說甚麼

333
00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:12,725
‎就說好啊

334
00:16:33,885 --> 00:16:34,845
‎我開口約她出去了

335
00:16:36,485 --> 00:16:37,405
‎那個看護？

336
00:16:38,205 --> 00:16:39,685
‎噢，太棒了

337
00:16:39,845 --> 00:16:42,085
‎她說會考慮看看

338
00:16:45,445 --> 00:16:46,285
‎妳好嗎？

339
00:16:47,645 --> 00:16:48,485
‎我是說…

340
00:16:49,805 --> 00:16:50,645
‎妳過得…

341
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:53,285
‎-我過得開心嗎？
‎-對

342
00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:56,685
‎很開心

343
00:16:58,525 --> 00:17:01,525
‎我和斯坦度過了人生最美好的時光

344
00:17:02,925 --> 00:17:04,685
‎我擁有那些美好的回憶

345
00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:08,205
‎我們其實也就是回憶而已

346
00:17:10,325 --> 00:17:14,005
‎斯坦也有過美好的人生
‎沒有受到任何痛苦

347
00:17:14,845 --> 00:17:16,245
‎他連人生完結了都不自知

348
00:17:17,725 --> 00:17:18,565
‎但我知道

349
00:17:20,725 --> 00:17:21,885
‎不過寧願是我活著

350
00:17:22,645 --> 00:17:23,485
‎想念著他

351
00:17:24,125 --> 00:17:26,005
‎也不要是他活著來想念我

352
00:17:26,165 --> 00:17:27,605
‎我就是這麼愛他

353
00:17:28,045 --> 00:17:29,525
‎我不想有絲毫改變

354
00:17:31,045 --> 00:17:33,765
‎如果我能回到過去
‎改變一件自己不喜歡的事

355
00:17:33,845 --> 00:17:38,125
‎我也許會錯失那件事
‎原本到最後的發展

356
00:17:38,245 --> 00:17:39,765
‎做人不應該後悔

357
00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:45,525
‎或是想著要是能回到過去
‎可以這樣或是那樣

358
00:17:47,045 --> 00:17:53,245
‎我會選擇回到1998年
‎狠揍看著莉莎的蓋文泰利一拳

359
00:17:54,125 --> 00:17:57,565
‎-就因為看了她一眼？
‎-是他的眼神，拋媚眼

360
00:17:59,565 --> 00:18:00,485
‎莉莎沒反應

361
00:18:00,725 --> 00:18:02,045
‎我就假裝沒看見

362
00:18:02,445 --> 00:18:04,885
‎我知道不應該揍他一拳

363
00:18:06,045 --> 00:18:07,445
‎但我也覺得很丟臉

364
00:18:07,525 --> 00:18:11,165
‎居然會為了這種事吃醋

365
00:18:11,445 --> 00:18:14,005
‎不過現在呢
‎我很希望當時有揍他的臉

366
00:18:17,005 --> 00:18:18,805
‎我發現自己

367
00:18:19,165 --> 00:18:22,085
‎今天在公司滔滔不絕
‎說著人生為何值得活下去

368
00:18:22,325 --> 00:18:24,285
‎這是莉莎死後的第一次

369
00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:27,125
‎這是拜妳所賜

370
00:18:29,405 --> 00:18:30,325
‎我想…

371
00:18:31,285 --> 00:18:32,445
‎我會繼續

372
00:18:33,805 --> 00:18:36,405
‎一切隨心所欲

373
00:18:36,885 --> 00:18:38,325
‎繼續懲罰這個世界

374
00:18:38,405 --> 00:18:41,325
‎但我會懲罰一些活該的人
‎用我的超能力做好事

375
00:18:43,765 --> 00:18:44,805
‎因為

376
00:18:45,245 --> 00:18:48,005
‎當我完全隨心所欲

377
00:18:48,845 --> 00:18:50,525
‎又發現這樣做是對的

378
00:18:51,245 --> 00:18:53,285
‎心情都會特別好

379
00:18:54,485 --> 00:18:56,445
‎懂我意思嗎？如果是好人

380
00:18:56,845 --> 00:19:01,205
‎就算隨心所欲，也都是在做好事

381
00:19:03,125 --> 00:19:04,325
‎而你是個好人

382
00:19:04,405 --> 00:19:06,725
‎我很慶幸你沒有自殺

383
00:19:08,645 --> 00:19:09,965
‎因為那樣就浪費了

384
00:19:12,125 --> 00:19:13,965
‎你可能不太喜歡活著

385
00:19:14,325 --> 00:19:16,245
‎但你會讓這個世界變得更美好

386
00:19:18,645 --> 00:19:19,805
‎千萬不要放棄

387
00:19:20,045 --> 00:19:21,685
‎不然他們就贏了

388
00:19:23,045 --> 00:19:24,485
‎而且人數還越來越多

389
00:19:25,085 --> 00:19:25,925
‎誰？

390
00:19:26,045 --> 00:19:28,725
‎爛人啊，像是蓋文臭泰利

391
00:19:30,725 --> 00:19:31,965
‎嘉文臭泰利

392
00:19:59,525 --> 00:20:03,325
‎（致派特，謝了，高地威士忌）

393
00:21:19,205 --> 00:21:23,445
‎（致羅比，我不是殺人犯
‎只是想要你做個乖孩子）

394
00:21:41,765 --> 00:21:44,845
‎（布萊恩的一生）

395
00:22:26,925 --> 00:22:30,805
‎（凱文哈特，全美幽默一哥）

396
00:23:16,365 --> 00:23:20,605
‎（秋葉安老院）

397
00:23:30,005 --> 00:23:31,445
‎妳要跟他去喝一杯嗎？

398
00:23:31,565 --> 00:23:33,405
‎我也不知道

399
00:23:33,805 --> 00:23:34,725
‎妳喜歡他嗎？

400
00:23:35,805 --> 00:23:41,045
‎我在這裡工作都…天啊，25年了

401
00:23:41,205 --> 00:23:45,045
‎我見過孤單的人
‎臨終和悲痛的人

402
00:23:45,125 --> 00:23:47,365
‎一無所有的人…

403
00:23:48,125 --> 00:23:51,725
‎但還沒遇過像他這樣悲傷的人

404
00:23:52,645 --> 00:23:54,605
‎而且還是他自討苦吃，就像是…

405
00:23:55,325 --> 00:23:58,765
‎說不上來
‎他好像想把自己封閉起來

406
00:23:58,845 --> 00:24:00,605
‎讓自己變得毫無感覺

407
00:24:00,685 --> 00:24:01,805
‎因為一切…

408
00:24:02,925 --> 00:24:04,685
‎對他而言太過痛苦了

409
00:24:05,725 --> 00:24:06,565
‎不過

410
00:24:07,405 --> 00:24:09,205
‎他仍然能夠讓我開懷大笑

411
00:24:14,045 --> 00:24:15,205
‎-嗨
‎-嗨

412
00:24:17,965 --> 00:24:20,125
‎好，那我們就去喝一杯吧

413
00:24:20,685 --> 00:24:22,045
‎-真假？
‎-真的

414
00:24:22,125 --> 00:24:23,885
‎-你想去酒吧還是…
‎-謝謝妳

415
00:24:25,125 --> 00:24:26,125
‎對不起

416
00:24:27,325 --> 00:24:28,965
‎-嘿
‎-怎麼了？

417
00:24:31,045 --> 00:24:32,005
‎你有人味了

418
00:24:33,045 --> 00:24:33,965
‎我正在努力

419
00:26:03,765 --> 00:26:05,125
‎字幕翻譯：李瑋樂