1
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‎NETFLIX 原創影集

2
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‎你現在拍攝做化療的人了？

3
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‎不，只拍妳

4
00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:21,400
‎好嗎？

5
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‎好

6
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,000
‎我的狀態不是最佳，對吧？

7
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‎妳很好

8
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‎（《坦伯里報章》）

9
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‎你把你的信件投入狗糞垃圾桶

10
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‎已經有多久了？

11
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‎到現在大概一年了

12
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‎好，上面有寫“狗糞垃圾桶”

13
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‎對，但是我的視力很差

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‎-對
‎-我就像蝙蝠一樣瞎

15
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‎這副不是我的，我的丟了
‎這副是公車上撿到的

16
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‎-這副不好
‎-對

17
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‎我不能離家太遠
‎我每十分鐘就要尿尿

18
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‎我的前列腺腫得像椰子

19
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‎老實說，這是我最不擔心的問題

20
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‎我說到哪裡了？

21
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‎所以…對，我的妹妹住在澳洲

22
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:04,840
‎我心想：“她為何不理我？”

23
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‎-你一直寫信給她，她沒…
‎-她沒回信

24
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‎-但你把信投進那裡
‎-對

25
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‎-對
‎-我沒有電子郵件

26
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‎然後我一直收到各式威脅信

27
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‎瓦斯和電力公司來催繳

28
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‎我說：“我付錢了，我可以證明的”

29
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‎所以我又寄信給他們

30
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‎我把信投進去，我所有的信件
‎都在這個狗糞桶！

31
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‎你沒聞到臭味嗎？
‎那不是很好的線索嗎？

32
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‎-對，我以為那是我的臭味
‎-你以為是你？

33
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‎對，老實告訴你
‎我家也有類似的味道

34
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‎-我一個人住也不需注重衛生
‎-不需要？

35
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‎沒這個必要吧？
‎沒人在意我衣服洗不洗

36
00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:35,520
‎-你自己也會在意吧？
‎-沒必要吧？

37
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‎完全沒有必要吧？

38
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,840
‎我不知道他們把信拿去哪裡了

39
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‎他們把狗糞拿到哪裡了？
‎可能埋起來了吧？

40
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‎我們到最後都是這樣吧？你懂的

41
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‎將來我們全是一坨屎，你懂嗎？

42
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‎我完全不懂自重自愛

43
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‎不

44
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‎難怪我沒交過女朋友

45
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‎你從來沒有？

46
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‎因為我知道要是我交了…

47
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‎她還是會找到比我更好的男人

48
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‎她會找到比我更優秀的
‎然後離開我，對吧？

49
00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:13,400
‎好吧，你們要怎麼報導這件事？
‎會採取什麼角度？

50
00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:14,920
‎我認為這件事沒有什麼角度

51
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‎你就是一直把信投入…

52
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‎裝滿狗糞的垃圾桶
‎投了整整一年，差不多就是這樣

53
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,480
‎對，這個故事總有寓意吧？
‎一定要有的

54
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‎例如要小心，小心投遞信件的地方

55
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‎-拍張照片
‎-好

56
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‎快一點，我要尿尿

57
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‎-好
‎-拍了

58
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‎-等等，拍到了？
‎-很好

59
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‎好吧

60
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‎-他走了
‎-對

61
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‎-那真是令人沮喪
‎-對

62
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‎想像為了怕分手
‎所以從來不和女人談感情

63
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‎有感情才是人生

64
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‎沒錯

65
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‎我有過美好的人生

66
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‎-你的人生還在繼續！
‎-不，我知道

67
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‎你看，他就站在那邊尿尿，像狗一樣

68
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‎那是他一天覺得最爽的事，那泡尿

69
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‎好，我要去看我爸爸了

70
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‎好，我要去…

71
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‎-再見
‎-再見

72
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‎-嗨
‎-嗨

73
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‎-你還好嗎？
‎-還好

74
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‎他還好嗎？他似乎有些…

75
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‎對，他的情況時好時壞

76
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:33,480
‎不過今天早上很有精神吧？

77
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:35,040
‎他罵賽門爛人

78
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‎是嗎？

79
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‎對，就知道你喜歡

80
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‎我的好爸爸！

81
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:45,080
‎我該去忙了，我還要…

82
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:48,560
‎我今晚要去看輕鬆歌舞秀
‎如果妳想去的話…

83
00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:51,480
‎-我要工作，抱歉
‎-好

84
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‎好，沒什麼要緊的

85
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:56,240
‎如果妳想聊天
‎打電話給我…或是傳簡訊

86
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‎-好
‎-好的

87
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‎改天見

88
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‎爸，你想躺下嗎？

89
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‎-好
‎-是嗎？那來吧

90
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‎-來吧
‎-好

91
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:22,920
‎我知道這不算什麼確定，但是…

92
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‎吉兒要和我去看歌舞秀

93
00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:28,400
‎-什麼歌舞秀？
‎-就是當地的戲劇社表演

94
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‎是嗎？

95
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:33,480
‎有很多女演員嘍？

96
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‎不，應該沒有

97
00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:36,200
‎比較像是…

98
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‎本地人唱唱歌…

99
00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:42,000
‎是有個女的要朗誦女性主義的詩

100
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‎女性主義！

101
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‎女同志讓我發笑，你懂嗎？
‎她們會用假陽具之類的

102
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‎-對吧？
‎-對

103
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‎抱歉，妳們到底愛不愛陽具？
‎親愛的，我都被搞糊塗了

104
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‎妳們快點決定，你懂我的意思吧？

105
00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:58,040
‎對！

106
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‎-你懂？
‎-對，這…

107
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‎有道理

108
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‎我只好…讓那個女同事失望了

109
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‎她對我太積極了一點
‎我只好說…“不了

110
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‎放棄吧，寶貝”

111
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‎-明智之舉
‎-對

112
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‎兔子不吃窩邊草，兄弟

113
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‎我也是這樣想

114
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‎反正需要有人替你口交的話
‎她一直在公司

115
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‎好

116
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‎真高興看到妳在這裡

117
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‎-你還好嗎？
‎-還好

118
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‎還在報導本地
‎那些沒人在意的糟糕新聞

119
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:36,840
‎惹惱我喜歡的人

120
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‎試著保住我的工作

121
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:40,440
‎沒害死任何人，妳呢？

122
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:48,680
‎很高興聽你抱怨工作，還有…

123
00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:51,680
‎感情的事，你像個正常人了

124
00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:55,920
‎對，我想這算是進步吧

125
00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:58,600
‎我應該付錢，謝謝妳陪我聊天

126
00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:01,440
‎比起把錢浪費在心理醫生上
‎這個好多了

127
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,120
‎對我來說，你的友誼比金錢更有意義

128
00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:12,160
‎妳寂寞嗎？

129
00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:16,440
‎我只想念一個人

130
00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,600
‎對，我也是

131
00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:27,000
‎什麼？

132
00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:30,880
‎妳今晚想去看歌舞秀嗎？

133
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,480
‎不要吧，這些日子我不常出門

134
00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:39,240
‎幾乎不算出門，比來這裡更近！

135
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:42,560
‎同樣是坐下來，看著前方

136
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:43,960
‎很有趣的

137
00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:46,080
‎來嘛

138
00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:49,880
‎-好
‎-是嗎？

139
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:50,840
‎我會去

140
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:53,320
‎太棒了

141
00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:58,320
‎非常謝謝大家和我分享你們的一天

142
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:01,880
‎嗨，你今晚要不要去看歌舞秀？

143
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:03,440
‎那是什麼？

144
00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:05,000
‎可能很糟糕

145
00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:07,080
‎但我們有些人會過去，我邀了…

146
00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:09,920
‎可能很有趣，我以為你可能…

147
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:11,760
‎當然，好啊，有何不可？

148
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,960
‎好，地點在社區中心，7點30分

149
00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:18,080
‎但是我們可以早點去喝一杯
‎如果你要的話…

150
00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:20,640
‎有服裝規定嗎？我該穿西裝還是？

151
00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:22,920
‎沒有，這真的不是正式表演

152
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,600
‎你去精神病院探病會穿什麼？

153
00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:27,240
‎可是…看來不錯就行了

154
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:29,120
‎-所以…
‎-不錯？

155
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,280
‎就服裝整齊，隨便啦

156
00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:33,800
‎好

157
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:35,600
‎-好極了
‎-那麼晚點見了

158
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:37,640
‎很好

159
00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:53,320
‎-你看
‎-你在做什麼？

160
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,520
‎只是伸展一下

161
00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:56,160
‎這是辦公室

162
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:02,200
‎-大家好
‎-嗨

163
00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:03,800
‎-你在練習啊？
‎-對，拉拉腿

164
00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:06,000
‎走吧，我帶你去社區中心

165
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,840
‎要是你爸現在能看到你就好了

166
00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:11,680
‎怎麼回事？他死了嗎？

167
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,040
‎沒有，他拋棄我們了

168
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:15,960
‎詹姆士惹火他了，對吧？

169
00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:17,880
‎我挺難搞的吧？

170
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,560
‎起初我還以為他有什麼問題

171
00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:22,200
‎他還去看了校醫

172
00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:24,360
‎-我還以為我瘋了
‎-或是發展遲緩

173
00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:27,440
‎對，我在學校各科都很糟

174
00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:30,440
‎我比較感興趣的是娛樂大眾

175
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:32,040
‎所以你沒有任何毛病？

176
00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:34,080
‎沒有，沒有精神病之類的

177
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,320
‎只有過重和過動，但是…

178
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:37,600
‎他真的很煩人

179
00:09:38,680 --> 00:09:40,440
‎他爸說：“不他走就是我走

180
00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:42,640
‎其中一個必須走，才有辦法生活”

181
00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:43,760
‎妳選擇了他？

182
00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:46,480
‎不，一開始我選擇他的爸爸
‎但我們叫詹姆士離開

183
00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:48,760
‎他崩潰了，威脅說要自殺，對吧？

184
00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:49,960
‎對

185
00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:57,680
‎反正我現在找到更好的人了

186
00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,600
‎好，我們走吧

187
00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:04,400
‎對，好多事要做，而且我餓死了

188
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:06,840
‎不，別吃太多，你總是這樣

189
00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:09,240
‎你興奮起來就好激動
‎然後你還要跳舞…

190
00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:11,920
‎如果你們要去吃東西，我也一起去

191
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:15,240
‎再見

192
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:16,440
‎等等！

193
00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:18,680
‎很好

194
00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:20,640
‎我也該走了

195
00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:24,160
‎去準備今晚的事

196
00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:27,880
‎我有約會

197
00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:33,200
‎所以…

198
00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:35,920
‎-待會見
‎-再見

199
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:38,280
‎再見

200
00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:46,600
‎期待今晚的活動嗎？

201
00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:49,520
‎只是工作，對吧？

202
00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:51,640
‎對，但是…

203
00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:54,040
‎可能很有趣

204
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:55,840
‎對

205
00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:59,560
‎我們取笑詹姆士還和媽媽一起住

206
00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:02,440
‎但是他比我小十歲
‎我也和我媽一起住

207
00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:04,600
‎每個人都有約會

208
00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:06,680
‎我沒有

209
00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:09,920
‎-抱歉
‎-不，我是說…

210
00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:13,320
‎妳不是唯一的一個
‎這沒什麼大不了的

211
00:11:14,560 --> 00:11:15,600
‎不用急

212
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:17,480
‎不要自憐自艾…

213
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:20,200
‎妳會養成習慣的

214
00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:23,640
‎我想我就是這樣

215
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:25,480
‎我是指悲傷

216
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:30,320
‎我多少了解我的狀況
‎妳懂我的意思嗎？我只是…

217
00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:34,200
‎當事情進展順利，或我看到一絲希望

218
00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:35,640
‎我會覺得困惑

219
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:39,360
‎然後情況變糟時，我就說：“看吧

220
00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:42,960
‎現在我們可以去買醉，混吃等死”

221
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:46,840
‎等妳真的找到男朋友

222
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:50,720
‎他想跳舞時，就和他跳舞

223
00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:56,440
‎我真希望每次莉莎邀我
‎我都和她跳舞了

224
00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:59,320
‎有時只因為我覺得丟臉，或是懶得跳

225
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,000
‎我願意不計一切…

226
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:04,440
‎只求現在和她相聚五分鐘

227
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:07,920
‎只要能抱著她舞動

228
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:11,000
‎妳懂嗎？

229
00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:13,920
‎回歸正常，兩個人又哭了

230
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:16,440
‎-做得好
‎-對

231
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:20,560
‎妳不會有事的

232
00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:25,400
‎-真的直接來
‎-你還要？

233
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:27,800
‎我很少喝這個，但我通常…

234
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:30,000
‎嗨，這是我的男伴

235
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:33,320
‎臨時充數的

236
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,560
‎生意人，開勞斯萊斯的，對吧？

237
00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:39,480
‎-二手車
‎-還是勞斯萊斯啊，很成功

238
00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:41,880
‎對，我在廢棄物處理場賺很多錢

239
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:43,040
‎別說廢棄物

240
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:46,080
‎-我們去看表演吧
‎-好

241
00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,040
‎-你是我的郵差
‎-對

242
00:12:58,600 --> 00:12:59,960
‎-你是屯積癖先生？
‎-對

243
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,240
‎妳是妓女！我認得妳

244
00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:04,320
‎-性工作者
‎-性工作者

245
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:06,040
‎對，我在一些車庫看過妳

246
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:07,720
‎我付不起，這輩子別想

247
00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:08,800
‎對

248
00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:11,840
‎我只好自己找樂子
‎我曾經把我的老二塞進屁眼

249
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:14,040
‎你是怎麼做到的？

250
00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:15,840
‎現在他有興趣了！

251
00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:18,840
‎這是商業機密吧？不，你是朋友

252
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:21,000
‎基本上就是趁老二鬆軟時擠進去

253
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:22,880
‎然後等待老二變硬

254
00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:25,800
‎坦白說，只有這樣才能成功

255
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:27,280
‎我覺得太坦白了一點

256
00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:01,360
‎謝謝

257
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:11,920
‎-嗨
‎-你好

258
00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:32,680
‎大家坐好，我們就要開始了

259
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:37,400
‎現在歡迎喜歡到處走動的傢伙

260
00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:40,680
‎你們甚至可以說他是漂泊者

261
00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:42,120
‎開始了

262
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,200
‎（坦伯里戲劇社）

263
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:47,240
‎哈囉！

264
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:55,720
‎你們好！

265
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:10,200
‎謝謝大家的掌聲，對…

266
00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:13,400
‎市長大人在這裡，給他熱烈掌聲

267
00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:17,440
‎嘿！你何時要清理垃圾桶？

268
00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:20,560
‎我的垃圾堆積如山

269
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:23,160
‎其中有些…非常可疑，是吧？

270
00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:25,960
‎少來，我看過你們的垃圾桶

271
00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:30,600
‎總之，各位先生女士
‎或你們自稱的說法

272
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,240
‎這年頭的稱呼要小心，對吧？
‎不能叫錯了，天啊！

273
00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:34,400
‎知道我在說什麼吧

274
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,800
‎她在薯條店工作
‎她長得像東尼索波諾

275
00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:38,800
‎不，祝她好運

276
00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:41,640
‎準備觀賞《眾星之夜》了嗎？

277
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:43,960
‎-好耶！
‎-眾星，對

278
00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:47,760
‎第一幕，我們有艾爾頓強

279
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,840
‎還有琪琪蒂！

280
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:53,160
‎其實不是，而是母子檔

281
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:56,120
‎仔細想想是有點怪，但是別擔心

282
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:59,360
‎總之請以最熱烈的掌聲

283
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:03,000
‎歡迎阿瓊和詹姆士！

284
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:45,720
‎（打給聯絡人…東尼）

285
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,160
‎那不是很棒嗎？

286
00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:49,520
‎好，各位女士先生

287
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:52,880
‎有些人可能納悶
‎那股可怕的味道是什麼

288
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,800
‎不，那不是排水溝、不是垃圾桶

289
00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:57,640
‎是我們的下一幕表演！

290
00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:00,680
‎保佑他，他有嚴重的衛生問題

291
00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:03,000
‎他要表演單人脫口秀

292
00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:05,960
‎我們都知道這個難度很高

293
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:08,120
‎他又不是很擅長！

294
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,400
‎所以替他祈禱吧？

295
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:13,800
‎請歡迎…布萊恩吉滕斯！

296
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:25,200
‎事與願違，我不是專業表演者

297
00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:28,800
‎如果我的表演大為成功

298
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:32,120
‎報章可能大幅報導我的事

299
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:33,720
‎所以我覺得必須…

300
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:36,800
‎先防患未然

301
00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:43,400
‎我替別人吹過

302
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:49,960
‎-那是…他是美髮師
‎-吹過一次

303
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:53,400
‎坦伯里足球俱樂部的副理

304
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:56,080
‎-對，馬克道伯森
‎-什麼？

305
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,200
‎我向各位保證，絕不會再發生了

306
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:01,560
‎好嗎？我當時在人生低潮

307
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,400
‎我的太太為了吉普賽人米基離開我

308
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,200
‎認識吉普賽人米基嗎？

309
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:10,120
‎不認識？很好

310
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:11,200
‎離他遠一點

311
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:13,960
‎因為他一看到你
‎馬上會狠狠揍你一頓！

312
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:16,000
‎好嗎？對

313
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:21,720
‎好，誰要聽笑話？

314
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:24,920
‎記住這裡有小朋友的

315
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,960
‎你好，孩子，你叫什麼名字？

316
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:28,280
‎-佐治
‎-佐治？

317
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:30,280
‎好名字，佐治

318
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:32,160
‎-你幾歲了？
‎-九歲

319
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:33,640
‎我有個笑話要給你，小朋友

320
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:35,880
‎還有什麼比褲子裡有螞蟻更糟？

321
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:36,960
‎我不知道

322
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:38,680
‎麥可傑克森

323
00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:43,320
‎可別讓他摸進你的褲子裡，對吧？

324
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:45,280
‎敲敲門

325
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:46,360
‎誰在那裡？

326
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:47,600
‎我的前妻

327
00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:51,720
‎去妳的，妳這個骯髒齷齪的婊子

328
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:55,680
‎好，我不說了

329
00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:59,600
‎我的精神狀態不是很好…

330
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:01,440
‎謝謝你們的傾聽

331
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:02,840
‎然後…

332
00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:09,160
‎該死的，那是什麼？

333
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:13,880
‎天啊，超噁心的
‎在市長面前講口交的事

334
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,600
‎太粗俗了

335
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:18,480
‎非常抱歉，各位先生女士
‎抱歉，市長先生

336
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:20,560
‎快讓他們收拾垃圾了！

337
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:25,000
‎沒錯，我們回來了，好的

338
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,000
‎我上場時，你絕不能站在那裡

339
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,000
‎-我要
‎-現在我們來欣賞詩詞

340
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:31,200
‎-誰愛詩詞？
‎-不，你不可以

341
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:34,040
‎請歡迎美麗的蕾貝卡！

342
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:37,560
‎我是蕾貝卡

343
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:40,640
‎今晚我要為大家朗誦我的詩作

344
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:42,240
‎請欣賞

345
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:45,200
‎-我覺得不舒服
‎-別這樣，你不會有事的

346
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:46,640
‎上帝是女人

347
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:49,120
‎她的王國是人生

348
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:53,800
‎她是自然、培育、戰士、妻子

349
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:56,440
‎她在她的體內滋養你長大

350
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:58,800
‎孤獨、無私

351
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:02,360
‎她獻出她的身體，好讓你活下去

352
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:04,760
‎萬能的造物者

353
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:08,240
‎每一個靈魂的發起者

354
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,480
‎在單一的細胞等待著

355
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,120
‎期待她的創世大爆炸

356
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:17,880
‎你這個噁爛的小胖子！

357
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:19,360
‎-真無禮！
‎-你剛剛放屁嗎？

358
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:20,440
‎不要這樣和他說話

359
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,520
‎我告訴過他，想放屁就不要忍
‎那樣對他不好

360
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:24,960
‎-他剛剛放屁！
‎-真沒禮貌

361
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:28,360
‎他…我叫你不要站在那裡的！天啊！

362
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,120
‎-這裡臭死了！
‎-她要下臺了

363
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:32,760
‎好，快出去，你要接著表演

364
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,680
‎-快點，表演你的舞蹈
‎-去啊，詹姆士

365
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:36,840
‎給我們精采表演！

366
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,440
‎-我覺得他放屁時閃屎了！
‎-真要命！

367
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:57,880
‎（艾瑪：請打給我，親）

368
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:34,400
‎嗨

369
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:35,920
‎妳好嗎？

370
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:38,280
‎東尼…

371
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:41,360
‎我很遺憾，你的爸爸剛剛過世了

372
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:45,800
‎好

373
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:51,520
‎我馬上過去

374
00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:53,400
‎好

375
00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:55,360
‎好，再見

376
00:22:16,360 --> 00:22:17,520
‎-嘿
‎-嗨

377
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:21,240
‎我真的很遺憾

378
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,360
‎-他是在睡夢中過世嗎？
‎-對，他就…

379
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:26,000
‎停止呼吸了

380
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:32,760
‎我今晚不會打給麥特
‎我明天再告訴他，然後我…

381
00:22:33,120 --> 00:22:34,760
‎-妳可以幫忙處理…
‎-好的

382
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:35,920
‎-好嗎？
‎-我們會處理

383
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,560
‎-我只需要他的出生證明
‎-好

384
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:40,080
‎還有一些其他的雜項

385
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:44,440
‎他是個好人

386
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:47,800
‎他是.…

387
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:50,880
‎他人很好，對吧？

388
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:51,800
‎對

389
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:53,640
‎他很溫和…

390
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:56,560
‎他不曾打我，就算我小時候…

391
00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:58,320
‎也不曾打我屁股

392
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:01,160
‎即使我很淘氣

393
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:03,960
‎我媽會說：“等你爸回來就慘了”

394
00:23:04,360 --> 00:23:05,560
‎然後他進門

395
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:08,400
‎滿臉笑容的說：“嗨，兒子！”

396
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:10,680
‎我媽會說：“他今天不乖”

397
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:12,440
‎我爸會說

398
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:15,600
‎“兒子，我對你很失望”

399
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:17,560
‎那讓我覺得糟透了

400
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:20,440
‎其他的小孩說
‎他們的爸爸會拿皮帶抽他們

401
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:24,200
‎我心想：“比起我爸說他很失望
‎那根本沒什麼”

402
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:25,400
‎我從來不願…

403
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:28,120
‎讓他失望

404
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:31,280
‎我在這裡鬧情緒，沒惹過他生氣吧？

405
00:23:31,360 --> 00:23:33,240
‎不！才沒有

406
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:34,840
‎他喜歡你過來

407
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:39,200
‎我只是心裡有許多事
‎現在還是，我…

408
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:42,080
‎我討厭去想
‎我曾經惹他不高興，或是…

409
00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:47,200
‎你知道這裡的住客
‎有些人…一週才有一次探訪

410
00:23:49,120 --> 00:23:53,440
‎我沒見過有哪個兒子
‎天天來看爸爸，從不缺席

411
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:56,960
‎即使他自己痛苦不堪

412
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:05,560
‎我以為妳覺得我不關心
‎但我確實關心，一向如此

413
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:07,520
‎我從沒那樣想

414
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:11,160
‎我只是偶爾想讓你不好過

415
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:15,320
‎大概是我活該

416
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:17,080
‎你才沒有

417
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:23,720
‎我總要引起你的注意，對吧？

418
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:25,880
‎而且真的有用

419
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:27,920
‎嗯…有一點用

420
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:30,880
‎不，並沒有

421
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:33,480
‎我早就注意到妳了

422
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:38,000
‎從我第一眼看到妳

423
00:24:41,360 --> 00:24:42,280
‎但是妳知道的…

424
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:46,840
‎對

425
00:24:52,120 --> 00:24:54,720
‎你想在他身邊坐一下嗎？

426
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:55,640
‎好

427
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:57,000
‎不，和妳一起

428
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:31,120
‎給我的？

429
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:35,480
‎謝謝

430
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:37,400
‎妳真是好狗狗！

431
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:50,480
‎你要整晚玩牌喝酒嗎？

432
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:54,240
‎-對
‎-那我要做什麼？

433
00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:56,120
‎-妳知道妳該做什麼
‎-什麼？

434
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:58,280
‎妳應該出去，替我們做起司三明治

435
00:25:58,360 --> 00:26:00,880
‎-配一些薯片
‎-好，小心一點

436
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:04,080
‎-真好笑
‎-妳覺得呢？布蘭迪

437
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:07,680
‎我該出五…還是三？妳覺得呢？

438
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:10,480
‎-看啊
‎-對，我會出三

439
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:13,120
‎-看啊，牠喜歡
‎-好，就這樣

440
00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:15,200
‎-妳覺得呢？
‎-你看，牠覺得無聊！

441
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:16,600
‎牠和我一樣覺得無聊！

442
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:19,960
‎牠愛你，雷

443
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:27,080
‎字幕翻譯：陳彬彬

