1 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:13,240 ["Not Dark Yet" playing] 2 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:25,280 [man grunting] 3 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:30,040 -[Lisa] Tony. -Oh! 4 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:31,520 -Oh. -[Lisa laughing] 5 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:32,440 Fuck. 6 00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:33,720 [pants] 7 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:35,960 My heart rate was already at fucking 140. 8 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:37,280 [Lisa] Yeah, I could see. 9 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:39,360 Brilliant. 10 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,160 ♪ Shadows are falling ♪ 11 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:45,320 ♪ And I've been here all day ♪ 12 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:46,800 Come on. 13 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:50,600 ♪ It's too hard to sleep ♪ 14 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:54,680 ♪ And time is running away ♪ 15 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:00,480 ♪ Feel like my soul has ♪ 16 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:03,920 ♪ Turned into steel ♪ 17 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:10,240 ♪ I've still got the scars ♪ 18 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,960 ♪ That the sun didn't heal ♪ 19 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:19,760 ♪ There's not even room enough ♪ 20 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:23,400 ♪ To be anywhere ♪ 21 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:26,840 [doorbell rings] 22 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,880 ♪ It's not dark yet ♪ 23 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:31,920 ♪ But it's getting there ♪ 24 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,080 [Tony sighs] 25 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:35,200 There you go. 26 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:36,840 -Cheers. -All right? 27 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:38,360 Yeah. Good. You? 28 00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:40,280 Yeah, good. How's the dog? 29 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:41,760 How's the dog? 30 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,720 Yeah, yeah. Chilling on the couch, I'll bet. [chuckles] 31 00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:49,120 -Yeah, she's good. -[Paul] Yeah. 32 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:51,560 Great. Great. Yeah. Oh, ask me how my girlfriend is. 33 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,360 -How's your girlfriend? -Good. Good. Yeah. 34 00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:58,560 Being done from behind as we speak by Andy Norris, the bookmaker. 35 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:00,240 Right. 36 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:02,120 See ya. 37 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:16,720 [uplifting music playing] 38 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:26,760 [Emma] It's nice out there again today, isn't it? 39 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:29,480 Maybe get you outside for a wee walk. 40 00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:34,280 Sorry about last night. Obviously nothing to do with you. 41 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:36,840 I just-- I can't stand people interfering. 42 00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:37,760 Sure. 43 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,760 It was all so forced and in public and-- 44 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:44,120 Do you fancy a drink tonight, then? Just-- Just us? 45 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:46,080 -No. -Really? 46 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:48,000 Joking. Of course I fancy a drink. 47 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:49,200 Where do you wanna go? 48 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:51,720 Nowhere. I drink on the couch. 49 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:55,320 Okay. Maybe I can come and sit on a couch nearby. 50 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:57,640 Yep. 51 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:00,320 -Got any gin? -Got everything. 52 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:04,320 -Tonic? -I meant everything alcoholic. 53 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,080 -I'll get some tonic. -Yeah. 54 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,000 -A lemon? -No. 55 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:10,600 I'll bring a lemon then. 56 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:12,400 [sighs] 57 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:15,120 -You all right? -Are you my son? 58 00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:16,800 [scoffs] 59 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,480 It's like nothing's changed, innit? 60 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,040 -What? -Dad. 61 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,400 -See ya later. -Hmm. 62 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:30,440 [Anne] Still early. 9:15. 63 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:32,840 [Paul] Fancy a cup of tea? 64 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:34,800 [Anne] Yeah. Why not? 65 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:37,000 No room for me? 66 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:38,600 Oh. 67 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:40,320 -We were just leaving. -Oh. 68 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:41,840 Okay. 69 00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:43,720 Off anywhere nice? 70 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,080 -Just going for a cup of tea. -[Tony] Great. 71 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:48,040 Okay. 72 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:50,160 See ya later. 73 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:54,520 -You okay? -Definitely. 74 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:57,800 Yeah. 75 00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:00,680 I'm not replacing Stan, by the way. 76 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:03,080 -What do you mean? -Anne and me. 77 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,960 We still miss our other halves with all our heart. 78 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:09,080 Only now, we-- 79 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:11,040 we miss them together. 80 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:13,960 You wanted two lonely people to be happy, right? 81 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:14,880 Yeah. 82 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:18,640 And, uh, I don't think that, at any point, you ever asked yourself, 83 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,800 "I hope their late partners don't mind." 84 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:23,480 No, of course not. 85 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:27,280 So why do you impose such a restriction on yourself? 86 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:29,840 [sad music playing] 87 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:44,440 Alone again. 88 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:46,200 That's fine. 89 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,520 You know me. I'm not one to complain. 90 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:53,520 Oh, I still miss you so much. 91 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:56,320 I don't think I'll ever get over it. 92 00:04:57,840 --> 00:04:59,160 I'm not strong enough. 93 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:01,160 Not without you. 94 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:05,920 I'm still going through the stages of grief. 95 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:08,200 Denial's the tricky one. 96 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:12,040 I was never in denial that you were gone. 97 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:13,320 I was in denial that 98 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:17,440 I was suffering from mental illness. 99 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:21,560 Even when I was suicidal, I never thought there was anything wrong with me. 100 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:24,120 I thought that was the sensible thing to do, 101 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:28,000 and it annoyed me that other people thought I wasn't thinking straight. 102 00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:31,960 It was only recently I realized I was ill. 103 00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:36,880 I guess that was the glimmer of hope to getting better. 104 00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:39,160 [sighs] 105 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:45,440 It feels good. 106 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:47,600 Talking to you. 107 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:05,120 Sorry, how it ended last night, 108 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:06,920 but I wasn't in the mood, 109 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,400 and I didn't know why you were criticizing Lisa. 110 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:11,520 No one was criticizing Lisa. 111 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:15,160 We just didn't want Emma to feel worthless compared to her. 112 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:16,720 Why? She's not my new wife. 113 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:19,480 No, but she's a person. She's a nice person. 114 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:22,640 -We told her that after you left. -Good. 115 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:26,120 While you were doing that, I threw the cactus through a car window 116 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:27,640 that didn't stop at a zebra crossing. 117 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:31,480 Brilliant. You can cover that when I get the call about it later. 118 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,480 -That's what you get. -What do you mean? 119 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:37,160 I didn't want to do the stupid soiree. I was doing it for you. 120 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:39,960 -You were making life more interesting. -My fault, yeah. 121 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,400 -We've both learned a lesson, haven't we? -Which is? 122 00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:43,920 Never help anyone, ever. 123 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:46,480 -Great. Great lesson. -Yeah. 124 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:50,160 Seriously, Tony, you need to do something about your anger. 125 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:53,240 It's gonna kill you one of these days. Or someone else. 126 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:57,800 Why don't you channel it into sport or something? You used to do loads. 127 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:00,640 Now you've let yourself go. 128 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:04,960 You know, staying up drinking every night. God knows what else. It'll do you good. 129 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:06,400 -I have let myself go. -[Matt] Yeah. 130 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:09,560 Yeah, and I tell you this, I could drink half a bottle of whiskey 131 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:11,600 and still beat you at anything physical. 132 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:12,920 -Don't be silly. -Course I could. 133 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,600 -Don't be silly. -What, then? 134 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:16,120 -Table tennis? -[laughs] 135 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:17,040 -Fine. -Yeah? 136 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:18,480 -Yeah. -[Matt] Not a lot of running. 137 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:21,360 No, no, it's fine. Don't worry about it. Money on it? Money on it? 138 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:22,440 -Okay? -Why not? 139 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:23,760 -100 quid. -No, that's too-- 140 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:26,160 -[clucks] -Okay, yeah, all right, fine, 100 quid. 141 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:27,160 Yeah, let's do it. 142 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:31,280 I'll, um, phone the rackets club. They've got a few table-- Oh, sorry, yeah. 143 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:32,480 Um-- 144 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:36,680 Uh, this is Coleen, uh, the new intern. She's Sandy's replacement. This is Tony. 145 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:38,520 -You all right? -No, not really. 146 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:40,240 I'm absolutely gutted. 147 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:43,560 I'm starting at the bottom again. I worked my way up to management in my old job. 148 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,160 -Where was your old job? -[sighs] At the mini-mart. 149 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:50,640 But it went bust during the pandemic, so I've had to take anything. 150 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,040 Even though the money's shit and I don't know what I'm doing. 151 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:56,960 Well, we're all in the same boat, then. 152 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,400 Oh really? Do you live with your alcoholic mum 153 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,520 'cause your dad's in prison for beating up her brother who groped you? 154 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:10,200 Okay, so, um, if you want to show her the ropes… 155 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:13,960 Oh, right. 156 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:18,880 Do you want to come and watch us interview some swingers? 157 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:20,080 What's that? 158 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:21,520 What, swingers? 159 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,960 All of it. I don't understand anything you just said. 160 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:32,640 Um, well-- Well, I'm a journalist for the newspaper. Yeah? 161 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:37,040 So I talk to people who've got an interesting story. 162 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:39,760 -Okay, why? -Why? 163 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:40,800 Yeah. 164 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:43,520 Why do I talk to them? Or why do I do any of it? 165 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:45,600 Yeah. 166 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:49,960 Just-- just, uh-- Just come with us. 167 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,120 Wow. 168 00:08:57,240 --> 00:09:00,320 I'm Geoff, and this is my partner, Vera. 169 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:03,080 Hi. Um, thanks for inviting us over. 170 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:06,680 Uh, so what is the swingers club all about? 171 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:08,760 -Fun. -Yeah. 172 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,400 -Via sex. -[Geoff] Yeah. 173 00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:15,440 I work at the crematorium, which can be quite 174 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:21,560 boring and stuff, you know, so, um, I like to let my hair down. 175 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:24,400 Hmm, he gets so frustrated. 176 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,520 I mean, so pent up. 177 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,520 -He has to let it out. -Yeah. 178 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:30,440 [Vera] Yeah. 179 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:35,840 So we, uh-- We started this. Um, all above board, legal age. 180 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:37,160 Oh, way over legal age. 181 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:41,280 Yeah, and all consensual. We ask permission for everything. 182 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:46,160 No funny business, and everything is 100% safe. 183 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:48,440 Condoms are compulsory. 184 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:50,040 No filming or photos. 185 00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:52,240 We call it the Vegas Club. 186 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:56,320 What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Have you heard that? 187 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:58,640 Yeah. But you're happy for it to be in the paper? 188 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:00,760 Yeah. Fine with us. 189 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:03,320 But I won't give you photos of other members. 190 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:06,920 Don't want them to be recognized in the street if they don't want to be. 191 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:11,080 It's a lovely private club for people who like a bit of fun. 192 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:14,320 Nothing weird about it. Can't stress that enough. 193 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:17,600 -What it is, is it's a celebration. -Yeah. 194 00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:19,240 Yeah? Of body sharing. 195 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:24,000 But if someone doesn't want full-on intercourse, 196 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:25,560 that is fine. 197 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,320 It's like our Mrs. Polden, yeah? 198 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,480 -She just likes Geoff to stroke it. -[chuckles] 199 00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:33,360 -[Geoff] She loves it. -[Vera] Hmm. 200 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:34,280 Up to her. 201 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:38,240 Whereas her husband, Norman, he wants everything up him, doesn't he? 202 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:40,440 -Like what? -No. 203 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:41,800 -No? -Dildos. 204 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:43,920 -Right. -Mainly. 205 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,520 He brings his own. They're not used on anyone else. 206 00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:50,160 Hygiene is paramount. You can write that. 207 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:51,240 Yeah. 208 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:57,800 So how do people join? 209 00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:01,360 Well, they just come along. They don't even have to join in. 210 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:04,640 They can just watch the first time to get the idea. 211 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:07,560 -Would you like to join? -No. Thank you. 212 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:10,120 -No. Not my-- No. -[Geoff] Sure? 213 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:13,160 -Yeah. -[Geoff] Well, you'd be very welcome. 214 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,720 We have all sorts if that's what you're worried about. 215 00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:19,000 -Even got a little Chinese fella. -[Vera chuckles] 216 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:21,880 Lovely Kim. He goes like the clappers, he does. Doesn't he? 217 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:24,000 Oh. So fast. Good luck to him. 218 00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:24,960 [exhales] 219 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:28,680 Anyway, as Geoff said, you know, you can just watch if you want to. 220 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,840 -No. -Yeah, like Mary Biddle. 221 00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:33,640 Oh, God rest her soul. 222 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:34,720 [Geoff] Yeah. 223 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,680 -She was wheelchair-bound… -Hmm. 224 00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:41,080 …but we used to pop her in the corner and she'd watch. 225 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:42,800 Yeah, she couldn't do much else. 226 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:43,960 She could help herself. 227 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,720 Yeah. Yeah. She had the one good hand. 228 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:49,760 -Now, do you want to take a picture? -Yeah. 229 00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:53,440 -Smile. -[camera clicks] 230 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,680 Great. [sighs] 231 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,240 -All right? -Hiya. 232 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:03,880 -Hey. -Hey. 233 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:06,200 [sighs] 234 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:09,880 What were the swingers like? 235 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:11,600 Horrible. 236 00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:15,760 I kept wanting to say, "Sorry. Why are you telling us all this?" 237 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,640 "Keep it to yourself. It's weird." 238 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:21,400 At least they've had a life. I've got absolutely nothing. 239 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:25,320 You know, I haven't even got a boyfriend, and I'm fucking easy. 240 00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:28,640 There's no rush. 241 00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:33,480 I didn't meet my wife till I was in my thirties. 242 00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:35,840 -Your wife died, didn't she? -Yeah. 243 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:37,320 Hmm. Really sorry. 244 00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:39,520 Cheers. 245 00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:42,800 Yeah, I wasn't looking, and there she was. 246 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:47,640 I was living in a shitty little bedsit above a launderette. 247 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:50,840 I could hear the machines going round all day. 248 00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:55,040 And, uh, if it wasn't for Lisa, I think I'd still be there. 249 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:59,120 Uh, I've never had money. She earned loads more than me. 250 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:04,000 And her dad lent us the money for a deposit on the house. 251 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:06,520 We paid off the mortgage just before she got ill. 252 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:10,160 If I didn't own the house, I'd be living under a bridge now. 253 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,080 Might still be better than my situation. 254 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:15,400 I'd be happy with a bedsit at the moment. 255 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:18,200 I'm looking for a flat, but money's a bit tight. 256 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:21,840 You should move in with Tony. He's got that big house all to himself. 257 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:23,840 -Yeah, cheers, Kath. -Wouldn't want to. 258 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:25,640 Wouldn't want to. Why not? 259 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:30,400 It's not that I need somewhere to live. I need somewhere to live on my own. 260 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,960 Like, I need to be independent. I just-- 261 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:34,600 I feel like a loser. 262 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:38,640 I've got a viewing later. Would you come with me? 263 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:40,880 -Why? -I feel like they talk down to me. 264 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:44,920 So you need someone fat and grizzled and middle-aged? 265 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:46,920 Yeah. 266 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:49,640 I'm your man. 267 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:52,200 Always thought I'd make a good estate agent. 268 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,360 -Definitely. -You know why? 269 00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:56,400 -Cold and uncaring. -Trustworthy. 270 00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:58,040 -[scoffs] -People can tell 271 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,240 -I know what I'm talking about. -No, they can't. 272 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:04,280 Oh yeah. I called what's-her-name, the novelist, medium woman. 273 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:06,040 She's up for doing a consultation with you. 274 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,440 Does she do palms, crystal ball, or what? 275 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:11,040 Said she's gonna read your aura and tell you what to do. 276 00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:15,400 I hope two people with the gift don't cancel each other out. 277 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:16,760 What gift? 278 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:18,800 I'm a bit psychic. 279 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:19,920 Oh, are ya? 280 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,000 No. 281 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:23,280 -How do you know? -Bullshit, innit? 282 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:30,320 -You don't believe in all that nonsense? -What? 283 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:33,520 The supernatural. Mediums, fortune tellers. 284 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:35,080 Um, 285 00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:36,560 I dunno. 286 00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:39,560 There's gotta be something to it. It feels like 287 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:42,440 if it was a con, it'd be illegal, and they make loads of money. 288 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:44,640 Yeah, but if it actually worked, 289 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:47,840 they'd just do the lottery every week, and they'd be billionaires, wouldn't they? 290 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:49,640 Huh. 291 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:50,840 Yeah, that's a good point. 292 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:54,280 I think it's for people who are looking for something. Oh. 293 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,120 -[agent] Hi. -Hello. 294 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:58,960 Sorry I'm late. An old woman was found dead. 295 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:09,880 So we've got the dining space, living room area, 296 00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:11,920 the kitchen, 297 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,640 bedroom. 298 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:15,520 Very convenient to each other. 299 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:19,360 In my house, my kitchen's bloody miles away from my bedroom. 300 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,080 Is this all I can afford? 301 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:28,040 Well, this is the size you're looking at for the rent you want to pay. 302 00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:32,320 This is quite a cheap area, too, so it's bigger than you'll get anywhere else. 303 00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:34,000 What's the area like? 304 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:36,720 Yeah, uh-- 305 00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:42,360 Uh, I wouldn't usually mention this, but it's full of greasy spoons 306 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:45,520 and, uh, fast food takeaways, so, you know… 307 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,280 -Oh my God. -Yeah. 308 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:50,840 Okay. Let's go before-- 309 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:52,200 -Lovely. -Yeah, bye. 310 00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:54,120 -No. I'll see you out. -Yeah. 311 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:55,600 -Yeah. -Lovely. 312 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:04,120 All right. I'll see you soon? Yeah? Get all this tied up. 313 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:18,720 No good? 314 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:20,240 Depressing. 315 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:23,760 [Ken] Here he is. 316 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:27,800 I've written my TV column. It's all about Simon Cowell's newest face. 317 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:29,680 -Cheers. -Who's this? 318 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:32,320 Oh, uh, Coleen, this is Ken. 319 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:34,080 Why so glum? 320 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:38,120 Where to start. I'm 30. I live with my alcoholic mum. 321 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,920 And I earn crap money, so the only way I can be independent 322 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,960 is to live in a tiny hovel above a shop. 323 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,440 Oh, cry me a river. Thought she'd never stop. 324 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:49,040 Look, if you're homeless, I've got a flat above my office. 325 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:50,360 What? It's empty? 326 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:53,480 Yeah. I use it to audition the young lads. Wink, wink. 327 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:55,480 Or wank, wank, if you get what I mean. 328 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:58,320 -I think I know what you're suggesting. -You just said it. 329 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:01,800 I just stopped all that when coronavirus came along. Scary. 330 00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:05,040 I preferred AIDS. You knew where you were with that. 331 00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:07,040 You actually had to do you-know-what with someone. 332 00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:11,480 Coronavirus? Some fucker just walks past you and coughs and you're screwed! 333 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:14,200 Well, I am. I'm high-risk. Asthma. 334 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,840 I was high risk with AIDS. That's 'cause I liked it up the arse. 335 00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:19,800 My choice! 336 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:25,040 Anyway, flat's yours if you want it. I'd change the sheets if I were you. 337 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:27,120 See ya. 338 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:28,040 Cheers, Ken. 339 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,720 -Hello. -Hiya. 340 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:45,840 Tonic. 341 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:48,640 And a lemon. 342 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:49,600 Cheers. 343 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:54,000 -How's it going? -Yeah, all right. 344 00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:58,360 Hello, pretty. 345 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:00,960 Pretty. Hello, pretty girl. 346 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:04,480 Hello. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Where's the kisses? Who's a good girl? 347 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:15,040 What? 348 00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:18,480 -[Tony] Nothing. Don't forget the lemon. -I won't forget the lemon. 349 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:22,720 [Tony laughs] 350 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:24,560 [both laugh] 351 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:26,360 -Who's that? -[Tony] Lionel. 352 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:29,560 Right. Lionel. I can't cut him now, can I? 353 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:30,880 Or throw him away. 354 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:32,440 Stop! 355 00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,320 Stop drawing faces on the fruit and veg! 356 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,200 [Tony laughs] 357 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,520 I've done you a gin and tonic. 358 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:52,120 I don't know what you want to do with the lemon. I'll get you some ice. 359 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:53,040 [Emma] Okay. 360 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:57,520 -You've drawn a face on it? -That's Lionel. 361 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:02,440 Dead. 362 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,800 -[Emma] Are you getting the ice? -Yeah. [sighs] 363 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,560 -[Ken] Only me. -Bloody hell, Ken. Do you not knock? 364 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:20,600 Don't worry about that. You got nothing I want to see. Trust me. 365 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:24,320 No, I'm gonna be popping in all the time. Don't you worry. We'll be besties. 366 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:29,000 I get ever so bored in the office. There's nothing at all coming in for him. 367 00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:31,760 Oh, the stories I could tell you about this place. 368 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:36,240 Absolutely dripping with memories. Literally dripping. Throw that towel away. 369 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,400 Anyway, I'll let you get on. Ta-ra. 370 00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:41,600 [sighs] 371 00:19:45,360 --> 00:19:46,840 -All right, Brian? -Mustn't grumble. 372 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:48,040 Here to see James? 373 00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:50,600 -Where is the little bugger? -He's in the bath, but come in. 374 00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:51,560 Oy. 375 00:19:58,120 --> 00:19:59,920 -[James] What? -All right, boy? 376 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,320 -Mum? -[June] What, love? 377 00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:03,840 -I'm having a bath. -Good boy. 378 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:05,480 Bloody steamy in here, innit? 379 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:09,120 Yeah. Told him he has it too hot. Bad for his testicles. 380 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:10,280 Makes you sterile. 381 00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:11,880 Ah. Do you mind? 382 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:14,360 Yeah, they do look red, mate. 383 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:18,800 Oh, yeah. Put a bit of cold on them, James. 384 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:22,040 Can we stop talking about my bloody testicles? They're fine. 385 00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:23,560 Some cake, Brian? 386 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,440 -Oh, yes, please. Thank you. -James? 387 00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:28,520 -I'm having a fucking bath! -Is that a yes or a no? [laughs] 388 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:29,560 What kind of cake? 389 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:33,120 Chocolate gateau with crumbled Flakes on top. 390 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:34,040 Mm. 391 00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:36,080 Yes, then, please. 392 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:40,640 I've gotta get my own place. 393 00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:43,160 -Why? -Why? 394 00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:47,320 Living the dream, mate. Wish I had a woman bringing me cake in the bath. 395 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:48,920 [James] Not your mum though. 396 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:52,280 I'm not needed here anymore. Mum's got Lenny. 397 00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:55,280 I'm just a big, fat lump taking up space. 398 00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:59,920 And your mum shouldn't be telling you off for ruining your testicles in the bath. 399 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:04,440 -You can move in with me if you want. -Really? Do you have a spare room? 400 00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:08,280 -Yeah, if you can get in there. -What do you mean if I can get in it? 401 00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:09,440 It's full of shit. 402 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,040 You know what? 403 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:13,480 Let's do it. 404 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,120 Time for me to become a man. 405 00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:19,680 Will you help me break the news to my mum? 406 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:21,280 Hmm. 407 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:28,400 Let's see. 408 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:29,880 Interesting. 409 00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:30,920 What? 410 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:34,520 Strong, confident, determined 411 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:37,080 on the outside. 412 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:41,840 But on the inside, you're vulnerable and sensitive. 413 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:45,840 You're lonely. 414 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:50,960 It's tough, isn't it? Being a strong woman in a man's world. 415 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:53,720 You feel you've lost a little of yourself, 416 00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,920 and you see needing comfort as a weakness they'll pounce on. 417 00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,440 So you deny you need it. 418 00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:02,600 But you do need it, dear. 419 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:04,800 Everyone does. 420 00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:07,360 [sentimental music playing] 421 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:29,440 -Mum. -Yeah? 422 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:33,680 -I've got something to tell you. -Oh, I've known for ages, darling. 423 00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:35,120 What? 424 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,720 Oh, sorry, what were you gonna say? 425 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,960 Okay, um, so I think it's time for me to fly the nest. 426 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:45,200 Brian's got a spare room. I'm gonna move in with him. 427 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:48,080 Okay. Well, I'll help you move in tomorrow, then. 428 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:50,440 -Tomorrow? -Yeah. 429 00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:55,880 Great. 430 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,880 I will go and get dressed, then. 431 00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:02,880 Yeah. 432 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:07,640 -Aw. -I know. 433 00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:10,600 I'll put a snooker table in his room. 434 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:13,640 -It won't fit, will it? -Just a little one. 435 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:19,680 [Ken] You've got the lock on! 436 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:21,560 Yeah, I'm in bed. 437 00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:23,160 It's Ken. 438 00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:25,520 Yeah, I guessed that. 439 00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:30,680 [Ken] I've had an idea for a new showbiz gossip piece called Careless Whispers. 440 00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:33,120 Okay. Tell me tomorrow. 441 00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:36,200 Yeah, it's basically a list of all the people I know 442 00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:38,760 who claim they've wanked off George Michael. 443 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:40,760 [sighs] Okay. I'm going to sleep. 444 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:42,480 -[Ken] Good idea though, isn't it? -Yeah. 445 00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:43,640 [Ken] Yeah. Night night. 446 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:45,280 -Yeah, night, Ken! -[Ken] What? 447 00:23:45,360 --> 00:23:47,360 -Night, Ken! -[Ken] Yeah, all right. 448 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:51,920 See you tomorrow. 449 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,120 -See ya. -See you. 450 00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:55,120 -Don't bother getting up. -Hmm. 451 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:56,200 Hmm. 452 00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:57,240 -Cheers. -Bye. 453 00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:58,160 Bye. 454 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,000 [door closes] 455 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:10,080 ♪ Oh, lay me down gently ♪ 456 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:13,520 ♪ Oh, lay me down low ♪ 457 00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:17,440 ♪ I fear I am broken ♪ 458 00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:21,320 ♪ And won't mend, I know ♪ 459 00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:25,880 ♪ There's one things when ♪ 460 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:30,120 ♪ The stars light the skies ♪ 461 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:31,040 [whimpers] 462 00:24:31,120 --> 00:24:35,840 ♪ Who now will sing me lullabies? ♪ 463 00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:37,440 [toy squeaks] 464 00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:39,160 ♪ Oh, now who will sing me lullabies? ♪ 465 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:42,600 -[laughs] Is that a new toy? -[toy squeaks] 466 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:44,840 [Lisa] I'm doing your accounts! 467 00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:46,920 [Tony] I would never get bored with this. 468 00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:48,880 Unless I was working. 469 00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:50,840 -Yeah. -[Tony] Then it'd be annoying. 470 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:53,440 -Yeah. It is annoying. -[Tony laughs] 471 00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:56,400 -Can you take the squeaker out? -[Tony] No, look at her. 472 00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,840 ♪ Oh, angels in heaven ♪ 473 00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:00,760 Hello. 474 00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:05,040 ♪ Don't you care for me at all? ♪ 475 00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:07,880 -♪ You've heard my heart breaking ♪ -Squeak it. 476 00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:09,480 Squeak it. 477 00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:12,600 -♪ For it rang through the skies ♪ -Oh! [laughs] 478 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:20,000 ♪ So why won't you sing me lullabies? ♪ 479 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:25,480 ♪ Oh, why won't you sing me ♪ 480 00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:29,600 Lullabies? ♪ 481 00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:36,680 [Tony] Bedtime. 482 00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:09,840 ♪ I lay here ♪ 483 00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:11,640 ♪ I'm weeping ♪ 484 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:15,240 ♪ For the stars, they have come ♪ 485 00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:19,360 ♪ I lay here not sleeping ♪ 486 00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:23,880 ♪ Now the long night has begun ♪ 487 00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:27,440 ♪ The man in the moon ♪ 488 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:31,720 ♪ Oh, he can't help but cry ♪ 489 00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:38,000 ♪ There's no one to sing me lullabies ♪ 490 00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:43,560 ♪ Oh, there's no one to sing me ♪ 491 00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:48,400 ♪ Lullabies ♪ 492 00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:55,000 ♪ So lay me down gently ♪