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‪NETFLIX 剧集

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‪啵嘤

3
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‪-啵嘤
‪-等一下

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‪啵嘤

5
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‪啵嘤

6
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‪-你说它喜欢吗？
‪-啵嘤

7
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‪喜欢

8
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‪-看她的脸
‪-啵嘤

9
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‪-我想要一条狗
‪-不行

10
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‪行的 咱们养一条狗吧

11
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‪不行 因为狗的寿命不长

12
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‪-然后就会很难过…
‪-什么？

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‪抱歉 布兰蒂 但确实如此

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‪狗死的时候 人会特别难过

15
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‪对 所以我要说下一个问题 爸

16
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‪我们是时候考虑一下你的葬礼了

17
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‪别胡说！你还有20年呢 雷

18
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‪-还是不要了
‪-这算什么问题啊？

19
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‪我们要知道啊 不是吗？

20
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‪那你呢？

21
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‪无所谓

22
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‪你呢？

23
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‪我希望自己葬在教堂的院子里

24
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‪这样大家每天都能带花来为我哭泣

25
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‪开始几天是有可能
‪之后就会想：“噢 算了吧 下雨呢”

26
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‪-真不错
‪-火化

27
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‪看见了吧？这就对了
‪不搞繁文缛节 不自私

28
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‪而且我要你把我的骨灰撒在中湖

29
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‪我是在那里认识你妈的

30
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‪说实话 我不会大老远去中湖

31
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‪只有一小时左右车程

32
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‪对啊 我不开车 不是吗？

33
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‪这是我最后的要求！

34
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‪那又怎么样？好吧 我现在答应

35
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‪但到时你也不知道了

36
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‪到时候我可懒得去

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‪中湖什么地方 雷？

38
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‪“旅友” 一个很不错的老酒吧

39
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‪我求婚也是在那里

40
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‪嗯 现在大概是手机店了

41
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‪你有什么感受？

42
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‪你的独子不愿意开车去撒你的骨灰

43
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‪他会去的 他是好孩子

44
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‪噢 你好 你还好吗？

45
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‪你说呢？

46
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‪-不好？
‪-答对了

47
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‪越来越难受了 我该怎么办？

48
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‪我不知道

49
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‪你知道她做什么工作
‪你之前也是接受的

50
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‪但是没想到我们在一起之后
‪她还会继续做

51
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‪电影里可不是这样的

52
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‪理查·基尔从白色加长轿车里走出来

53
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‪爬上消防楼梯

54
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‪茱莉亚·罗伯茨不可能对他说
‪“等一下

55
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‪我在给干洗店老板波比·张吹箫”

56
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‪-你怎么知道她给波比·张吹箫？
‪-他跟我说的

57
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‪他不知道她是我女朋友
‪我什么都没说 只是觉得很恶心

58
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‪我很震惊

59
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‪觉得很沮丧

60
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‪也许你应该和她谈谈

61
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‪不行！我觉得这样很傻

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‪要不你和她谈谈？

63
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‪不行 绝对不行！我很久没见过她了

64
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‪她现在不过来了 我想她很忙吧

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‪对 她忙得很

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‪嗯

67
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‪-你应该找人聊聊
‪-我在和你聊啊

68
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‪-我没有资质…
‪-你有

69
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‪你之前也很沮丧
‪而且有自杀倾向 不是吗？

70
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‪-你没有自杀倾向吧？
‪-没有 懒得自杀

71
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‪-好的
‪-拜托 帮帮我们 都怪你啊！

72
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‪噢 可不是嘛

73
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‪拜托了？

74
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‪我考虑一下 真他妈的！

75
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‪走吧

76
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‪（秋叶养老院）

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‪-你好
‪-你好

78
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‪我决定出去一趟
‪把我爸的骨灰撒一下

79
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‪太好了 去哪里？

80
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‪他向我妈求婚的一个小村庄

81
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‪这是他最后的愿望

82
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‪我的骨灰？

83
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‪不是你的骨灰

84
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‪你还没死 对吧？

85
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‪而且你不是我爸 记得吗？

86
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‪我是被收养的吗？

87
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‪真他妈的
‪就好像给我补了一个爹似的

88
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‪这样大概会很好
‪因为他自己的儿子从不来看他

89
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‪在他移民澳大利亚之前
‪差点都没时间安排他到这里来

90
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‪-是吧？
‪-好吗？

91
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‪生活很残酷

92
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‪喝吧 嗯

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‪哎

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‪还好吗？

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‪很危险 就像地毯上的金鱼一样

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‪-哪里？
‪-不是 没有

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‪好了

98
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‪你的新家怎么样？

99
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‪我很感谢肯

100
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‪他不收我的钱 比在家住好

101
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‪但他老是来找我

102
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‪说实话 我听到他上楼的声音
‪我就不出声了

103
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‪然后他试试能不能开门

104
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‪然后我就继续保持安静 直到他离开

105
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‪我就像安妮·弗兰克似的

106
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‪你会找到更好的地方

107
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‪你好 亲爱的 我是阿鼠 这是阿亵

108
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‪还好吗？我们有一个故事

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‪我们是做播客的

110
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‪-他在这里
‪-哎！

111
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‪记得我们吗 孩子？
‪你想在你们报纸上报道我们的故事

112
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‪我们和你以前的心理医生一起做播客

113
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‪你真他妈神经啊！

114
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‪你们是精神科医生？

115
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‪不是 我们是做金融的

116
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‪但是我们所分享的是男人的故事

117
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‪我们为之感到骄傲

118
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‪这就是那个播客节目的主旨
‪鼓励男人做男人

119
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‪不过也是开放的 有一些妞也听

120
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‪主要是那些
‪觉得他妈新男性很恶心的人

121
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‪我们只是向帮助大家更加男人一点

122
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,960
‪-我们一天到晚说 不如…
‪-释放出来！

123
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‪我们会在推特发播客
‪让你们看看我们是怎么做的

124
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‪-很有意思
‪-给粉丝发送通知

125
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‪-上线直播 行了
‪-告诉他们我们在这里

126
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‪王八蛋 你们好！

127
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‪傻屌们！

128
00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:03,920
‪我们在坦布里报做采访

129
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‪打个招呼 亲爱的 来

130
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‪还是免了

131
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‪她很害羞！不过没关系

132
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‪我们只是测试一下
‪正式播客今晚开始

133
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‪-测试 测试我的蛋蛋！
‪-测试 一 二 三

134
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‪好好测试我的蛋蛋 天哪！好满啊！

135
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‪满是精液

136
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‪射了 射在你的公文格里了

137
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‪我前两天在你奶奶身上测试过了

138
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‪我这样撸撸撸 射在她的他妈洞里

139
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‪她说：“啊 谢谢
‪亲爱的 我太需要了”

140
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‪“你在吃什么？”

141
00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,280
‪别担心 奶奶

142
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:36,000
‪小心踩到带毛的液体滑倒

143
00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:39,760
‪-至于你 腌猪后腿69…
‪-好了 两位 够了

144
00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:43,280
‪-拜托 这里是办公室
‪-“两位 这里是办公室！”

145
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:45,400
‪真他妈的 安德鲁王子生气了

146
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‪你他妈垃圾 会你他妈房间去！

147
00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:51,480
‪-我他妈开玩笑的
‪-他搞笑的 别担心

148
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‪阿鼠和阿亵播客 平安喜乐

149
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‪健康幸福板块 好吗？

150
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‪我会写的 谢谢提供新闻故事 两位

151
00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:06,840
‪我差点就要动手了

152
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:11,240
‪但是暴力不能解决问题

153
00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:14,240
‪没错

154
00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,600
‪对这里的工作有所了解了吧？

155
00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:25,160
‪嗯 应该是的 有点感觉了

156
00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:41,640
‪来吧 这里还有一点空间

157
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:45,880
‪你们俩是不是有谁放屁了？

158
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:47,640
‪没有 是房子的气味

159
00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:49,640
‪布莱恩的气味也一样

160
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,120
‪你可以闻一下他 气味一样

161
00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:54,160
‪噢 是啊

162
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:56,720
‪-这是你的气味 对吧？
‪-对

163
00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:59,760
‪嗯 有点像粪味、尿味和汗味

164
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:01,720
‪还有恐惧和耻辱的气味

165
00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:03,160
‪主要是屎

166
00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:05,600
‪-你能接受就行
‪-谢谢

167
00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:10,840
‪介意我把垃圾收拾一下吗？

168
00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:15,120
‪好的 放手干吧

169
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:19,960
‪你介意我不看吗？

170
00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:22,120
‪有点伤感

171
00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:26,400
‪好的

172
00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:29,280
‪-我们开始吧
‪-好的

173
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:39,840
‪-累了？
‪有一点

174
00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:42,920
‪我不会花太久时间

175
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:44,480
‪对了

176
00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:49,080
‪你是什么时候
‪被禁止吃不限量自助餐的？

177
00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:50,480
‪上个月

178
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,240
‪现在还觉得生气

179
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:56,120
‪嗯 他们给出了什么理由？

180
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,760
‪他们很诚实

181
00:08:57,840 --> 00:09:01,920
‪说要被我吃破产了
‪他们没见过像我这样吃的

182
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,600
‪他们提醒过我几次不要吃太多

183
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:09,520
‪我说：“既然是不限量
‪我吃再多也不多啊”

184
00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:13,920
‪说得对 你多久去一次？

185
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,920
‪每天 午餐和晚餐

186
00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:17,960
‪你一天去两次？

187
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:21,600
‪不是 就一次 从午餐吃到晚餐

188
00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:25,600
‪然后就吃饱了 有时候要扶着墙回家

189
00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:31,680
‪所以你每天去吃六个小时？

190
00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:35,240
‪对 六七个小时 我也不是一直在吃

191
00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:39,360
‪我不时地会睡着

192
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,680
‪但如果有人来给我清理盘子
‪我就会醒过来

193
00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:48,640
‪好的 吃一次收多少钱？

194
00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:52,240
‪每人次10镑

195
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,880
‪所以我一天去一次

196
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,240
‪得吃回本啊

197
00:09:57,320 --> 00:10:00,120
‪多数人只能吃两三片披萨

198
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,080
‪一两份意面

199
00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:04,880
‪但是披萨基本上就是面包
‪而意面根本不值钱

200
00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:08,040
‪所以这家餐厅就是这样赚钱的

201
00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:11,240
‪我会拿20到30片披萨

202
00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:13,600
‪把上面的馅料弄下来

203
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,480
‪留下面饼

204
00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:16,560
‪这是诱饵

205
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,920
‪对肉酱意面也是一样

206
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:20,840
‪我会去拿15趟

207
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,760
‪把所有的肉都从意面里挑出来

208
00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:28,960
‪这样大概能有五斤牛肉

209
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:32,200
‪我有的是时间慢慢地吃

210
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:35,800
‪-你不工作吗？
‪-对

211
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,440
‪为了拿残疾福利办了提前退休

212
00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:42,520
‪不好意思 你是有什么残疾呢？

213
00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:44,120
‪看看我

214
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:46,720
‪我的情况太他妈糟糕了

215
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:50,840
‪这家餐厅在哪里？

216
00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:53,280
‪-拍一张照片
‪-嗯？好的

217
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:56,200
‪微笑

218
00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:58,480
‪非常好

219
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,360
‪我挺生气的

220
00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:02,680
‪-因为他太贪婪？
‪-不是

221
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:05,280
‪好吧 没错 他很贪婪 很明显

222
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:06,400
‪但是他说得对

223
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:10,720
‪是餐厅自己宣传承诺不限量

224
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,080
‪吃完要喝宝宝奇诺吗？

225
00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:16,360
‪不能因为有人吃太多或者来太多次
‪就突然食言

226
00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:19,240
‪要不你就对所有人改变规则

227
00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:20,720
‪-坦率面对
‪-藜麦？

228
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:24,040
‪-你喜欢吃藜麦
‪-现在已经没有信誉可言了

229
00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:25,760
‪你拉了一大坨粑粑吗？

230
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,320
‪-哎 真他妈的
‪-你没事吧？

231
00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:31,560
‪-嗯 怎么了？
‪-你刚才说“真他妈的”

232
00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:34,160
‪所以你觉得是有事情使我生气了？

233
00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:37,440
‪-比如有人发出不必要的噪音？
‪-妈的！

234
00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:40,320
‪他是宝宝

235
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,240
‪但发出噪音的不是他 而是你

236
00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:44,200
‪为了逗他

237
00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:46,640
‪如果他哭 就会让别人不舒服

238
00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:48,240
‪不会 因为他是宝宝

239
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:50,200
‪你发出噪音才让别人不舒服

240
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,880
‪只是声音罢了 不会影响你

241
00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:54,920
‪你和你朋友说话 我和我孩子说话

242
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,960
‪但你听不到我说的每一个字 对吗？

243
00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,400
‪那又怎么样？
‪到处都有噪音 生活就是这样

244
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:01,800
‪好的 有道理

245
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,200
‪是哪个混蛋在发出噪音？

246
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:10,720
‪-是你！你这个讨厌的混蛋！
‪-太可悲了

247
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:12,160
‪抱歉 我在和朋友说话

248
00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:13,840
‪你说的话是别人不想听的

249
00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:16,080
‪你也一样 但是你不在乎 所以…

250
00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:19,720
‪是啊！你真鸡巴吵 真的！

251
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,280
‪你是他妈嬉皮矮婊子！

252
00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:27,320
‪你真是一个烦人的鸡巴大喇叭！

253
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:30,200
‪你是贱人 没错 你就是贱人！

254
00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:31,360
‪我要…

255
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:35,440
‪大肚子！你这个贱人！

256
00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:42,320
‪你真是他妈贱人！

257
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:45,960
‪只是声音罢了

258
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,400
‪（坦布里报 每周本地新闻）

259
00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:55,480
‪（坦布里报）

260
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:58,080
‪我开车送你去打乒乓球的地方

261
00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:00,560
‪然后我们一起去中湖

262
00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:01,800
‪-好的
‪-会很有意思

263
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:03,960
‪-好的
‪-我们搞一次公路旅行

264
00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:06,000
‪准备一些小吃和光碟 会非常好

265
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,200
‪-好的 谢谢
‪-好的

266
00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:12,360
‪我今天其余的时间算是安排好了

267
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,640
‪我先和他打乒乓球

268
00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:17,960
‪然后他送我去中湖给我爸撒骨灰

269
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,280
‪很不错嘛

270
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:21,640
‪嗯

271
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:25,280
‪真他妈的 我们真是失败

272
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:27,560
‪-你说你自己
‪-没错

273
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,360
‪但也是说其他像我一样失败的人

274
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:33,320
‪马特觉得自己有冒险精神
‪因为他有件带帽防风衣

275
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,760
‪兰尼发现口袋里
‪有一块没碎的饼干就很激动

276
00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:37,000
‪拜托

277
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:41,560
‪你说得对 我的生活确实非常无趣

278
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:45,280
‪并不是这样

279
00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:47,760
‪我有一个假装的男朋友
‪我讨厌自己的工作

280
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:51,800
‪我宁愿像你一样 但我已经失去勇气

281
00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:56,880
‪嗯 我没办法再约会了
‪好男人都有主了

282
00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:00,640
‪要不就是同性恋或者神经病

283
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:05,480
‪我列了一张好男人条件表 多惨啊？

284
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,280
‪嗯 我也列了 你的表上列了哪些？

285
00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:11,200
‪有车 有房 有生意 没孩子

286
00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:13,200
‪聪明 好男人

287
00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:14,720
‪你呢？

288
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:16,920
‪一定要有一张脸和一个鸡鸡

289
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:25,080
‪凯思 要喝咖啡吗？

290
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:26,840
‪好的

291
00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:34,040
‪我现在不在意了

292
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,200
‪有什么意义呢？

293
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:38,000
‪嗯 我知道你的感受

294
00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:40,400
‪不好意思

295
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,120
‪-我叫凯思
‪-什么？

296
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:44,640
‪什么？

297
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:48,160
‪我以为你要问我叫什么名字

298
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,600
‪-为什么？
‪-对啊 为什么？

299
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:52,480
‪不知道

300
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,120
‪-你有零钱吗？
‪-我没钱

301
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:57,400
‪我有钱

302
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:58,680
‪我有一份好工作

303
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,280
‪我的钱放在办公室了

304
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:02,880
‪好的

305
00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:06,640
‪-你结婚了吗？
‪-没有

306
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,760
‪-有女朋友吗？
‪-没有

307
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:10,680
‪-是同性恋吗？
‪-不是

308
00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,120
‪-叫什么名字？
‪-查尔斯

309
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,040
‪-查尔斯 这是凯思
‪-嗯

310
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:15,960
‪-嗯
‪-你为什么会觉得我是同性恋？

311
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:16,960
‪为什么不会？

312
00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:19,560
‪-什么？
‪-没关系 都行

313
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:22,440
‪回头要不要一起喝一杯？

314
00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:25,680
‪好的

315
00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:30,480
‪好的 我把名片给你

316
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:32,840
‪谢谢

317
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:35,680
‪-谢谢
‪-再见

318
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:36,800
‪再见

319
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,080
‪差点要了我的命

320
00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:44,800
‪-为什么？
‪-尴尬死我了！我刚才太不沉着了

321
00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:47,400
‪-他喜欢你
‪-没有！

322
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,480
‪-他慌了 觉得自己不够礼貌
‪-律师不会慌

323
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:54,440
‪这是另一回事 他是律师！
‪他穿着律师袍什么的

324
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:58,080
‪不能告诉他我在本地免费报社工作
‪他会觉得我很失败

325
00:15:58,160 --> 00:15:59,120
‪我没觉得被冒犯到

326
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:02,720
‪告诉他你是调查记者

327
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:07,040
‪会把他吓着的 他会以为我在查他

328
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,000
‪律师会希望我是做什么的呢？

329
00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:12,960
‪杀人犯

330
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:14,800
‪什么？

331
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,000
‪做你自己就好

332
00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:18,640
‪说实话

333
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:21,760
‪永远都说实话

334
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:28,080
‪这样更糟糕

335
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:29,920
‪什么？

336
00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:33,280
‪你坐在那里拼字谜！

337
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,720
‪以前是看黄书 兄弟 堆这么高

338
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:38,960
‪那些日子已经一去不返

339
00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,880
‪五年前 我可以撸一发射到你脸上

340
00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:49,080
‪我这辈子算是白费了

341
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:51,240
‪-准备好了吗？
‪-嗯

342
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:52,800
‪好的 来吧

343
00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:57,040
‪1比0

344
00:16:58,280 --> 00:16:59,640
‪拜托

345
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:01,360
‪好的 3比0

346
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:08,120
‪-有没有擦边？
‪-没有

347
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:11,680
‪打到蛋蛋了！

348
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:13,640
‪好吧

349
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:19,640
‪-19比2？
‪-3

350
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:20,840
‪-是嘛？好的
‪-是的

351
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:25,480
‪-20比3
‪-嗯 好的

352
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:30,800
‪打得不错

353
00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:35,680
‪这其实不够运动吧

354
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:39,160
‪-你就站着
‪-对 站着打球

355
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:41,880
‪-对 但是几乎没动
‪-嗯

356
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,480
‪所以我觉得应该玩更运动的项目

357
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:47,600
‪-好的
‪-比如网球什么的

358
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:49,440
‪-好的
‪-好的

359
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:53,440
‪因为乒乓球就看运气 不是吗？
‪和弹珠台差不多

360
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,800
‪-不行 这个听够了
‪-那就放你喜欢的

361
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,560
‪嗯 这不容易

362
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,040
‪威尔·史密斯《千禧威龙》

363
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:09,160
‪-对 千禧年
‪-对 之后就没人买光碟了

364
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,320
‪-灯塔家族
‪-这个乐队不错

365
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:14,600
‪我很喜欢灯塔家族

366
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:16,760
‪-他妈的苏珊·博伊尔？
‪-嗯？

367
00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:18,200
‪怎么了？

368
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:22,440
‪-不要了
‪-哎！你干什么？你怎么…

369
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:23,640
‪别扔布雷的光碟

370
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:24,640
‪就是要扔布雷

371
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:27,440
‪不要！你疯了吗？
‪你会害死人的！托尼！

372
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,120
‪-电台司令
‪-这张不是我的

373
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:30,680
‪我知道 很好听

374
00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:32,600
‪是吉尔的

375
00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:35,160
‪-丽莎给她买的
‪-是嘛？

376
00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:37,760
‪嗯 她很喜欢

377
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:15,640
‪-喝
‪-喝

378
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:21,440
‪你是律师？

379
00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:23,920
‪对 出庭律师

380
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,040
‪-好的
‪-你呢？

381
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:26,000
‪不是

382
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,280
‪-什么？
‪-我不是出庭律师

383
00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:33,760
‪好的 你是做什么工作的呢？

384
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:37,400
‪我的工作？

385
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:42,760
‪好的 我说实话

386
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:46,280
‪我是医生

387
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:48,080
‪嗯

388
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,880
‪-你自己执业？
‪-对啊 这就是我的职业

389
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:53,280
‪有证书的

390
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:54,920
‪什么？

391
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:57,200
‪你说什么？

392
00:19:58,120 --> 00:19:59,600
‪你是不是自己在执业？

393
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:03,200
‪还是在医院
‪当全科医生或者外科医生？

394
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:04,120
‪噢 对

395
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:07,000
‪我在医院工作

396
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:08,680
‪当医生

397
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:12,640
‪好的

398
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,200
‪-我们点菜吧？
‪-好的

399
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:29,640
‪我这辈子很坎坷 小伙儿

400
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:30,720
‪-是嘛？
‪-是的

401
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:32,840
‪嗯 像坐过山车一样

402
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,000
‪她是一个特别性感的女人

403
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:41,200
‪像一头无法驯服的动物

404
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:46,160
‪床上功夫特别好 特别好

405
00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:54,240
‪我给她拍了一部色情片

406
00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:56,920
‪就在这条地毯上

407
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,840
‪她说想和我还有罗力·卡特
‪搞三人大战

408
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,640
‪他真是太猛了 你认识他吗？

409
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:07,080
‪-不认识
‪-一米九

410
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,400
‪250斤 包含他戴的珠宝

411
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:11,320
‪我同意了

412
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,040
‪原来她只是要我拿着摄像机罢了

413
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:20,720
‪没问题

414
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,440
‪“你想怎么样都行 亲爱的”

415
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:28,400
‪于是她趴在地上 他在后面

416
00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:30,480
‪老汉推车干她

417
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:35,600
‪整个过程我他妈都在拍

418
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:41,000
‪她太他妈享受了
‪我能从她的眼神中看出来

419
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:46,640
‪然后突然之间

420
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:51,560
‪罗力看着我 透过我的镜片 摇摇头

421
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:54,600
‪就好像在说

422
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,800
‪“太他妈糟糕了”

423
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,200
‪我当时不知道他是指拍摄质量

424
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:03,720
‪还是他膝下粗糙的地毯

425
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:05,640
‪后来才知道他说的是她鲍鱼的气味

426
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:11,120
‪-请慢用
‪-谢谢

427
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:12,480
‪谢谢

428
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:14,240
‪真不错

429
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:18,080
‪你有时间经常做饭吗？

430
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:21,520
‪噢 没有 我特别忙

431
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:22,440
‪是啊

432
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,160
‪-多数时候是这样
‪-嗯

433
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:30,040
‪我就买单人份冷冻餐

434
00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:31,960
‪-噢 太惨了
‪-嗯

435
00:22:39,120 --> 00:22:40,880
‪-她是医生！
‪-下班了！

436
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:42,920
‪-什么？
‪-我下班了

437
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:48,920
‪好的

438
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,520
‪-行了
‪-她没事 我想也是

439
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:56,080
‪你为什么不帮助她？

440
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:34,120
‪这地方真不错

441
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,680
‪建于14世纪左右？

442
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:38,600
‪我不知道

443
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:42,040
‪他一定是在这张桌子旁求婚的

444
00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:43,560
‪他说是在女王肖像下面

445
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:45,640
‪-真的？
‪-嗯 我们坐在这里吧

446
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:47,400
‪太好了

447
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:52,640
‪想想有这么多人来过这里

448
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:55,120
‪-这里是一个好地方
‪-好的

449
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:00,800
‪你干什么？

450
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:03,880
‪我撒一些我爸的骨灰

451
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:05,120
‪撒在地毯上？

452
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:07,520
‪对 这是他最后的要求

453
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:10,160
‪是嘛？反正不用他来清理

454
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,640
‪兄弟 这是一个小小的仪式

455
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,720
‪也没有什么损失
‪我知道会被清理掉 所以…

456
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:17,880
‪-这是破坏财物
‪-不是破坏财物

457
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,680
‪-没有损坏
‪-那就是乱丢垃圾

458
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:23,600
‪这是我爸的骨灰 好吗？

459
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:27,640
‪他以前经常来这里
‪这是我向他致敬的方式

460
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,160
‪那就撒在垃圾桶里 有什么区别呢？

461
00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:33,160
‪他肯定没说一定要他妈撒在地毯上

462
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:36,080
‪没有
‪但他是在这张桌子旁向我母亲求婚

463
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:37,800
‪我通过他的描述认出来了

464
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:39,520
‪这只是灰罢了 真是的！

465
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:42,600
‪-这很恶心 有病怎么办？
‪-什么有病？

466
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,440
‪-尸体上的病
‪-这不是尸体 好吗？

467
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:49,480
‪如果我把他从太平间拖过来
‪也许你完全有权生气

468
00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:52,640
‪我确实有权
‪我想怎么做都可以 这是我的酒吧

469
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:54,760
‪我可以不让你进来 不用给理由

470
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:56,080
‪你们两个出去！

471
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:57,360
‪把你的垃圾一起带走

472
00:24:58,920 --> 00:24:59,760
‪垃圾？

473
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:07,120
‪你他妈王八蛋！

474
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:08,880
‪有一点弄进我嘴里了！

475
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,560
‪很好 希望是他鸡巴的灰 你个傻逼

476
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:46,160
‪“希望是他鸡巴的灰

477
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:48,480
‪你个傻逼”

478
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:57,760
‪字幕翻译：朱音