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‪NETFLIX 影集

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‪彈跳

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‪-彈跳
‪-等一下

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‪彈跳

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‪彈跳

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‪-妳覺得牠喜歡這樣嗎？
‪-彈跳

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‪喜歡

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‪-妳看牠的臉
‪-彈跳

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‪-我想養狗
‪-不行

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‪好啦，我們來養狗

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‪不行，因為牠們壽命不長

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‪-那樣讓人很難過
‪-什麼？

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‪抱歉，布蘭迪，但這是真的…

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‪狗死掉會讓人難過到不行

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‪對啦，這讓我接到下一件事，爸

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‪我們也是時候要開始思考你的葬禮

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‪別煩他，你還能活20年，雷

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‪-希望不要
‪-這是哪門子的問題？

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‪我們不是要知道嗎？

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‪那你呢？

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‪隨便，妳呢？

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‪我想埋在教堂墓地

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‪這樣大家就能每天拿花過來哭

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‪前幾天可能是
‪之後就會拿下雨當藉口

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‪-你好樣的
‪-火化

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‪看到沒？這就是我要的
‪不囉唆，不自私

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‪我要你把我的骨灰灑在米德湖
‪我在那認識你媽的

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‪我不會為了這個跑去米德湖，說真的

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‪-只要開一個小時左右的車
‪-對，我不開車，對吧？

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‪這是我最後的要求

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‪那又怎樣？好，我現在答應
‪但你不會知道吧？

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‪-到時我只會懶得動
‪-米德湖的哪裡，雷？

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‪旅人之友，很棒的老酒吧
‪我也在那求婚

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‪-對，那邊可能成了手機店
‪-你有什麼想法？

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‪你的獨子不想開車去灑你的骨灰

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‪他會的，他很乖

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‪嗨，你好嗎？

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‪你覺得呢？

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‪-不好？
‪-對

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‪情況越來越嚴重，我能怎麼辦？

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‪我不知道

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‪你知道她靠什麼賺錢
‪以前你就沒意見

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‪我沒想到我們在一起後
‪她還會繼續靠這生活

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‪電影不是這樣演的

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‪李察吉爾沒有搭著禮車出現

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‪爬上消防樓梯

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‪然後茱莉亞羅勃茲說：“等我一下”

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‪“我正在幫乾洗店老闆張鮑比吸屌”

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‪-你怎麼知道她在吸張鮑比？
‪-他跟我說的

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‪他不知道她是我女友
‪我什麼都沒說，只覺得噁心

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‪我太驚訝了

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‪覺得十分沮喪

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‪-也許你該跟她談談
‪-不行，我覺得好蠢

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‪不如你去跟她談？

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‪不行，絕對不行，我好久沒看到她了

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‪她現在沒來了，我想說她很忙

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‪她整晚都很忙

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‪也對

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‪-你應該找人聊聊
‪-正在做

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‪-我不夠格…
‪-你夠格

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‪你本來不是又沮喪又想自殺？

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‪-你沒想自殺吧？
‪-沒有，我懶

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‪-那就好
‪-別這樣，幫幫我們，這都怪你

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‪最好是

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‪拜託你啦

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‪我想一下，真要命

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‪走吧

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‪（秋葉安老院）

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‪-嗨
‪-嗨

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‪我決定去旅行，順便灑我爸的骨灰

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‪真貼心，去哪灑？

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‪他跟我媽求婚的小村莊

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‪這是他的遺願

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‪我的骨灰？

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‪不是，不是你的骨灰

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‪你還沒死

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‪而且你也不是我爸，記得嗎？

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‪我是領養的嗎？

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‪我真衰，彷彿出現了第二個爸爸

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‪這樣可能也好
‪因為他兒子不曾來看他

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‪在移民到澳洲前
‪幾乎沒時間來這陪他

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‪-這樣喔？
‪-要嗎？

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‪人生很殘酷

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‪那就喝完吧，好

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‪嘿

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‪沒事吧？

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‪真驚險，就像掉在地毯上的金魚

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‪-哪裡有金魚？
‪-沒有這…

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‪又來了

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‪新家住得習慣嗎？

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‪我很感謝肯

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‪他沒收我的錢
‪又比住在家裡好，可是

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‪他一直來找我

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‪說真的，聽到他上樓，我都會呆住

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‪然後他會敲門，我就…

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‪我就開始保持安靜直到他走開

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‪我過著安妮法蘭克的生活

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‪妳會找到更好的地方

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‪親愛的各位，我是臭鼠，這是戀童癖

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‪大家好嗎？我們是來說故事的
‪我們創了播客

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‪-他人在那
‪-嘿

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‪記得我們嗎，小子？
‪你想在報紙報導我們的故事

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‪我們跟你的前心理醫師
‪製作一集播客，你這瘋子

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‪你們是心理醫生？

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‪誤會了，我們不是，我們在金融業

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‪但我們分享的內容是我們是男人

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‪而且以此為傲

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‪播客內容都是這個
‪只是鼓勵男人做自己

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‪雖然節目專做給男性
‪但我們仍有幾位女性會聽

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‪主要是受夠了這些新男性胡說八道

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‪我們只想幫這個世界拿出男子氣概

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‪-我們成天這麼說，不如…
‪-散播出去

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‪我們在推特上發文
‪讓你們知道我們是怎麼做的

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‪-真令人興奮
‪-發給追隨者通知

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‪-參與直播，現在開始
‪-快說我們在哪

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‪你們這些屎蛋，大家好

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‪你們這些蠢貨

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‪我們在《坦伯里報章》採訪

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‪打聲招呼，親愛的，說吧

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‪我寧可不要

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‪她很害羞，不過沒關係

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‪我們只是在測試，主要節目今晚播出

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‪-測試，測試我的蛋蛋
‪-測試，一、二、三

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‪把我的蛋蛋從頭測試到尾
‪天啊，蛋蛋好滿

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‪滿滿的都是精液

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‪剛噴完了，全噴在妳的收文籃

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‪我的測試全測在妳阿嬤身上

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‪我說：“靠，全噴在她的穴穴”

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‪她說：“謝啦，親愛的，我很需要”

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‪“你吃了什麼？”

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‪這妳不用擔心，阿嬤

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‪千萬不要踩到我噴的洨跌倒

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‪-至於你，燻火腿69
‪-好了，兩位，夠了喔

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‪-別鬧了，這裡是辦公室
‪-“各位，這裡是辦公室”

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‪要命喔，安德魯王子要發飆了

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‪你這死爛人，快回到你的爛辦公室裡

137
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‪-我只是在開玩笑
‪-他只是在鬧而已，放心

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‪臭鼠和戀童癖播客，感謝各位

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‪身心健康區，知道嗎？

140
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‪我會寫下來
‪謝謝你們的獨家，再見囉

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‪我差這麼一點就要

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‪動手了

143
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‪但暴力不是解決之道，所以…

144
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‪絕對不是，不行

145
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‪-掌握工作的訣竅了嗎？
‪-對，應該吧，快了

146
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‪過來吧，這裡有點空間

147
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‪你們有人放屁嗎？

148
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‪沒有，是屋子的臭味

149
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‪布萊恩的味道也是這樣
‪妳聞聞看，他有一樣的味道

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‪真的耶

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‪-那是你的味道吧？
‪-對

152
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‪對，有點像屎尿加上汗

153
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‪還有害怕和恥辱

154
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‪主要是屎味

155
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‪-你開心就好，伙伴
‪-謝了

156
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‪你介意我把垃圾通通清掉嗎？

157
00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:15,120
‪不會，妳清吧

158
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:19,960
‪我不看的話，妳會介意嗎？

159
00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:22,120
‪心情有點激動

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‪好

161
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‪-那就開始吧
‪-好

162
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‪-累了嗎？
‪-有點

163
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‪我很快就好

164
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‪所以

165
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‪吃到飽餐廳何時開始禁止你入內？

166
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‪上個月

167
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‪我還在生氣

168
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:57,760
‪-當然，他們拿什麼當理由？
‪-他們挺誠實的

169
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‪說我會吃垮他們
‪他們從沒看過這種事

170
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‪他們好幾次警告我吃太多，但是

171
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‪我回他們：“我只能吃這麼多
‪怎麼能說我吃太多？”

172
00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:13,920
‪有道理，你多久去一次？

173
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‪每天，午餐和晚餐

174
00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:17,960
‪你一天去兩次？

175
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‪沒有，就一餐，從午餐吃到晚餐

176
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‪然後我吃飽了

177
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:25,600
‪有些時候差點走不回家

178
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‪所以你每天都去？

179
00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:31,680
‪一去就是六小時？

180
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‪對，六七個小時，我不是一直在吃

181
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‪我偶爾會睡著，不過呢

182
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‪有人來收盤子時，我會醒來

183
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‪好，吃到飽要多少錢？

184
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‪每個人每次10英鎊

185
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‪所以我去一次就留在那

186
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‪我要吃回本

187
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‪多數人會吃兩到三片披薩

188
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‪兩份義大利麵

189
00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:04,880
‪但披薩大多是麵包，義大利麵不值錢

190
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‪這就是餐廳的生財之道

191
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‪我會拿20到30片的披薩

192
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‪刮下上面的料

193
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‪留著麵皮

194
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‪這是誘餌

195
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‪義大利肉醬麵也是一樣

196
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‪我會去拿15次

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‪從義大利麵中挑出肉

198
00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:28,960
‪這樣會有大概兩公斤重的牛肉

199
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:32,200
‪我有的就是時間

200
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:35,800
‪-你不用工作？
‪-不用

201
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,440
‪我提早退休，領殘障津貼

202
00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:42,520
‪冒昧問一下，你怎麼了嗎？

203
00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:44,120
‪你看看我

204
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:46,720
‪我整個人都沒救了

205
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:50,840
‪這間餐廳到底在哪？

206
00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:53,280
‪-拍張照就好了
‪-是嗎？好

207
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:56,200
‪笑一個

208
00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:58,480
‪太好了

209
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,360
‪這讓我很煩

210
00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:02,680
‪-因為他太貪心？
‪-不是

211
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:05,280
‪對，他很貪心，這不用說

212
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:06,400
‪但他說的對

213
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:10,720
‪他們主打你要吃多少都行的口號

214
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,080
‪等下要喝寶貝奇諾嗎？

215
00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:16,360
‪不能因為有人吃太多或太常來而反悔

216
00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:19,240
‪不然可以改遊戲規則，一體適用

217
00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:20,720
‪-講清楚就行
‪-要藜麥嗎？

218
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:24,040
‪-你最喜歡藜麥了
‪-現在都不講信用

219
00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:25,760
‪你拉了一大坨便便嗎？

220
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,320
‪-真是要命
‪-你沒事吧？

221
00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:31,560
‪-對，幹嘛？
‪-你剛說：“真是要命”，所以…

222
00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:34,160
‪你覺得有事情惹火我了？

223
00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:37,440
‪-例如有人吵個不停？
‪-糟了

224
00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:40,320
‪他是嬰兒

225
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,240
‪但吵的人不是他吧？是你

226
00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:46,640
‪我是為了讓他開心
‪如果他哭了，大家會很煩

227
00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:50,200
‪不會，因為他是嬰兒
‪你發出聲音才讓人很煩

228
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,880
‪那只是聲音，不關你的事

229
00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:54,920
‪你跟朋友講話，我跟小孩講話

230
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,960
‪但你聽不到我講的每字每句吧？

231
00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,400
‪那又怎樣？
‪到處都很吵，生活就是這樣

232
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:01,800
‪好，有道理

233
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,200
‪那個討厭鬼是誰？

234
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:10,720
‪-是你，你這個大討厭鬼
‪-這樣很可悲

235
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:13,840
‪-抱歉，我在跟朋友說話
‪-你說的是大家不想聽的

236
00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:16,080
‪你說的也是，但你不在意，那…

237
00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:19,720
‪對，你是吵死人的機車鬼
‪對，就是你

238
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,280
‪你是長得像地精的笨嬉皮

239
00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:27,320
‪在公共場合煩死人的機車鬼，就是你

240
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:30,200
‪你是賤人，沒錯，你就是賤人

241
00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:31,360
‪我要…

242
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:35,440
‪肥肚肚，你這個小賤貨

243
00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,680
‪你他媽小賤貨

244
00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:42,320
‪你他媽小賤貨

245
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:45,960
‪這只是聲音

246
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,400
‪（《坦伯里報章》，你當地的週報）

247
00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:55,480
‪（《坦伯里報章》）

248
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:59,000
‪這樣吧，我載你去桌球場
‪我們再一起去

249
00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:00,560
‪去米德湖

250
00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:01,800
‪-好
‪-一定很好玩

251
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:03,960
‪-好
‪-我們來場公路之旅

252
00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:06,000
‪買點零食和CD，一定很有趣

253
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,200
‪-好，謝了
‪-好，很好

254
00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:12,360
‪我今天剩下的時間解決了

255
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,640
‪我要跟他打桌球

256
00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:17,960
‪然後他載我去米德湖灑我爸的骨灰

257
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,000
‪聽起來很精彩

258
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:21,640
‪對

259
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:25,280
‪最好是，我們真是一群窩囊廢

260
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:27,560
‪-只有你吧
‪-我是

261
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,360
‪不過還有跟我一樣窩囊的每個人

262
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:33,320
‪麥特因為自己有登山衣
‪而自認有冒險心

263
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:37,000
‪蘭尼在口袋找到
‪沒吃的餅乾就很興奮，別裝清高

264
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:41,560
‪你說的沒錯
‪我的生活中完全沒有有趣的事

265
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:45,280
‪不是這樣的

266
00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:47,760
‪我有假想的男友，我討厭我的工作

267
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:51,800
‪我寧可學你，但我太害怕了

268
00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:56,880
‪對，我沒辦法再約會了
‪好男人都名草有主

269
00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:00,640
‪不然就是同志或瘋子

270
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:05,480
‪我列了完美男人清單
‪有多悲哀才要這樣？

271
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,280
‪對，我也做過這事，妳列了什麼？

272
00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:11,200
‪有自己的車、房子、生意、沒小孩

273
00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:14,720
‪聰明、正常的男子，妳呢？

274
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:16,920
‪一定要好看、有雞雞

275
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:25,080
‪凱絲，要喝杯咖啡嗎？

276
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:26,840
‪好

277
00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:34,040
‪我再也不想找麻煩了

278
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,200
‪這樣有什麼意義？

279
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:38,000
‪對，我懂妳的感受

280
00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:40,400
‪不好意思

281
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,120
‪-我是凱絲
‪-什麼？

282
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:44,640
‪什麼？

283
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:48,160
‪我以為你問我的名字

284
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,600
‪-何以見得？
‪-對，何以見得？

285
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:52,480
‪說不上來

286
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,120
‪-妳有零錢嗎？
‪-我沒有錢

287
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:57,400
‪我是說我有錢

288
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:58,680
‪有一份正當工作

289
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,280
‪我只是把錢放在辦公室

290
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:02,880
‪好，沒關係

291
00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:05,000
‪你結婚了嗎？

292
00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:07,480
‪-沒有
‪-有女友嗎？

293
00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:09,480
‪-沒有
‪-是同志嗎？

294
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,360
‪-不是
‪-叫什麼？

295
00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:12,720
‪-查爾斯
‪-查爾斯

296
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:14,040
‪-你見過凱絲了？
‪-對

297
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:15,960
‪-對
‪-你為什麼覺得我是同志？

298
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:16,960
‪怎麼不會？

299
00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:19,560
‪-什麼？
‪-不重要，不是就好

300
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:22,720
‪要一起喝點東西嗎？

301
00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:25,680
‪好

302
00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:30,480
‪好，我拿名片給妳

303
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:32,840
‪謝謝

304
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:35,680
‪-謝了
‪-再見

305
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:36,800
‪再見

306
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,080
‪我死定了

307
00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:44,800
‪-怎麼會？
‪-很丟臉，我太不冷靜了

308
00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:47,400
‪-他喜歡妳
‪-才沒有

309
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,480
‪-他慌了手腳，想裝客氣
‪-律師不會慌了手腳

310
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:54,440
‪這是另一點
‪他是律師，有律師袍什麼的

311
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:58,080
‪總不好說我在地方免費報社上班
‪他會覺得我很沒用

312
00:15:58,160 --> 00:15:59,120
‪我沒關係

313
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:02,720
‪跟他說…妳是調查記者

314
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:07,400
‪這會嚇跑他，他會以為我在調查他

315
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,000
‪律師會想要我從事什麼行業？

316
00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:12,960
‪殺人犯

317
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:14,800
‪什麼？

318
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,000
‪做自己就好了

319
00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:18,640
‪說真話

320
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:21,760
‪永遠要說真話

321
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:28,080
‪這樣更糟

322
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:29,920
‪怎樣？

323
00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:33,440
‪你坐在那邊玩他媽的找字遊戲

324
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,720
‪這裡原本是色情片，堆到這麼高

325
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:38,960
‪那種日子結束了

326
00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:44,200
‪五年前，我可以打手槍噴到你臉上

327
00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:49,080
‪我浪費了人生

328
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:51,240
‪-準備好沒？
‪-好了

329
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:52,800
‪好，開始吧

330
00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:57,040
‪一比零

331
00:16:58,280 --> 00:16:59,640
‪別鬧了

332
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:01,360
‪好，現在三比零

333
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:08,120
‪-那球有稍微碰到…
‪-沒有

334
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:11,680
‪正中蛋蛋

335
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:13,640
‪好

336
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:19,640
‪-19比2
‪-三

337
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:20,840
‪-是嗎？好
‪-對

338
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:25,480
‪-20比3
‪-好，沒關係

339
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:30,800
‪很精彩

340
00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:35,680
‪這樣的運動不夠吧？你只是…

341
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:39,160
‪-你只是站在那
‪-對，把球打回去

342
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:40,200
‪對，但你沒有…

343
00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:41,880
‪-你幾乎沒動
‪-對

344
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,480
‪我覺得我們應該做運動量更大的事

345
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:47,600
‪-好
‪-好比說網球或其他的

346
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:49,440
‪-對，很好
‪-好，可以

347
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:53,440
‪因為桌球只是看運氣？就像彈珠台

348
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,800
‪-不行，聽得夠多了
‪-那就播你喜歡的

349
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,560
‪對，難度就在這

350
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,040
‪威爾史密斯，《千禧威龍》

351
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:09,160
‪-對，千禧年的哽
‪-對，大家最後一次買CD的時候

352
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,320
‪-光明前程合唱團
‪-好樂團

353
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:14,600
‪我喜歡光明前程合唱團

354
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:16,760
‪-他媽的蘇珊大嬸
‪-怎麼了？

355
00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:18,200
‪怎樣？

356
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:21,200
‪-跟她道別
‪-喂，你在幹嘛？

357
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,640
‪你剛…布雷不行

358
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:24,640
‪布雷要走

359
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:27,440
‪不行，你瘋了嗎？你會害死人，東尼

360
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,120
‪-電台司令樂團
‪-那不是我的

361
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:30,680
‪我知道，這很好聽

362
00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:32,600
‪這是吉兒的

363
00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:35,160
‪-莉莎送她的
‪-是喔？

364
00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:37,760
‪對，她很喜歡他們

365
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:15,640
‪-敬妳
‪-敬你

366
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:21,440
‪所以你是律師？

367
00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:23,920
‪對，訟務律師

368
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,040
‪-好
‪-妳呢？

369
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:26,000
‪不是

370
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,280
‪-什麼？
‪-我不是訟務律師

371
00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:33,760
‪好，妳是做什麼的？

372
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:37,400
‪我的工作？

373
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:42,760
‪好，我沒有要騙你

374
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:44,320
‪我是

375
00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:46,280
‪醫生

376
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,080
‪-真行
‪-對

377
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,880
‪-妳有開業嗎？
‪-不用，我都做過了

378
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:53,280
‪我有證書了

379
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:54,920
‪什麼？

380
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:57,200
‪你剛說什麼？

381
00:19:58,120 --> 00:20:03,200
‪妳有開業嗎？
‪是全科醫師還是醫院的外科醫生？

382
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:04,120
‪對

383
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:07,000
‪我在醫院工作

384
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:08,680
‪當醫生

385
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:12,640
‪好

386
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,200
‪-要點餐嗎？
‪-要

387
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:29,640
‪我過得很充實，小子

388
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:30,720
‪-是嗎？
‪-對

389
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:32,840
‪對，高潮迭起

390
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,000
‪她是很優秀的女人，很性感

391
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:41,600
‪無法馴服的野獸

392
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:44,080
‪性愛很爽

393
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:46,760
‪性愛很爽

394
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:54,240
‪我拍了她的色情片

395
00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:56,920
‪就在這塊地毯上

396
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,840
‪她說想要跟我和羅利卡特三人行

397
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,640
‪那傢伙絕對是禽獸，你知道他嗎？

398
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:07,080
‪-不認識
‪-身高190公分

399
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,400
‪127公斤，加上珠寶

400
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:11,320
‪我同意了

401
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,040
‪結果她只是想要我掌鏡

402
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:20,720
‪這沒問題

403
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,440
‪“都聽妳的，親愛的”

404
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:28,400
‪於是她四肢著地，他在後面

405
00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:30,480
‪用狗爬式上她

406
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:35,840
‪我拍下整個過程

407
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:41,400
‪她愛死了，我從她的眼神看得出來

408
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:46,640
‪接著羅利看著我

409
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:51,560
‪沒來由地看進鏡頭，搖著頭…

410
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:54,600
‪彷彿在說

411
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,800
‪“這真是糟透了”

412
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,200
‪我不知道他是在說拍片品質

413
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:05,640
‪還是膝蓋頂著粗地毯
‪結果他說的是她陰道的味道

414
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:11,120
‪-請用
‪-謝謝

415
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:12,480
‪謝謝

416
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:14,240
‪太好了

417
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:18,080
‪妳有很多機會下廚嗎？在妳…

418
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:21,520
‪沒有，我忙得不可開交

419
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:22,440
‪也對

420
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,160
‪-多數日子是這樣
‪-對

421
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:30,040
‪我只能吃一人份的冷凍餐

422
00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:32,480
‪-好哀傷
‪-對

423
00:22:39,120 --> 00:22:40,880
‪-她是醫生
‪-下班了

424
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:42,920
‪-什麼？
‪-我下班了

425
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:48,920
‪好了

426
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,520
‪-很好
‪-她沒事，我料到了

427
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:56,080
‪為什麼不幫她？

428
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:34,120
‪這地方真令人驚奇

429
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,680
‪建於14世紀之類的？

430
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:38,600
‪我不知道

431
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:43,560
‪這一定是他求婚的桌子
‪就在女王畫像下面

432
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:45,640
‪-真的嗎？
‪-對，我們坐這桌吧

433
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:47,400
‪好極了

434
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:52,640
‪想想看有多少人來過這

435
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:55,120
‪-這地方很棒
‪-好

436
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:00,800
‪你在做什麼？

437
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:03,880
‪我灑了一點我爸的骨灰

438
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:05,120
‪在地毯上？

439
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:07,520
‪對，這是他的遺願

440
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:10,160
‪是嗎？要打掃的人又不是他

441
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,640
‪老兄，這只是愚蠢的小儀式

442
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,720
‪害不了人的
‪我知道這會被清掉，所以…

443
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:17,880
‪-這是破壞公物
‪-這不是破壞公物

444
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,680
‪-沒東西壞掉
‪-那就是亂丟垃圾

445
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:23,600
‪這是我爸的骨灰，懂嗎？

446
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:27,640
‪他以前很常來這
‪這是我向他致敬的方法

447
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,160
‪那就灑在垃圾桶裡，哪有差？

448
00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:33,160
‪我相信他沒有指定要灑在地毯上

449
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:36,080
‪沒有，但這是他向我媽求婚的桌子

450
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:37,800
‪我從他的描述判斷出來的

451
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:39,520
‪這只是灰，有必要嗎？

452
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:42,600
‪-噁心死了，有沒有病啊？
‪-什麼病？

453
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,440
‪-屍體的病
‪-這畢竟不是屍體吧？

454
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:49,480
‪如果我把他從停屍間拖出來
‪你這麼生氣還有道理

455
00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:52,640
‪我很有道理
‪我想怎樣就怎樣，這是我的酒吧

456
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:56,080
‪我可以禁止你們進來，不用理由
‪你們兩個給我出去

457
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:57,360
‪把垃圾帶走

458
00:24:58,920 --> 00:24:59,760
‪垃圾？

459
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:07,120
‪愚蠢的王八蛋

460
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:08,880
‪我吃到骨灰了

461
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,560
‪很好，希望那是他的老二，你這蠢貨

462
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:46,160
‪“我希望那是他的老二

463
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:48,480
‪你這蠢貨”

464
00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:57,800
‪字幕翻譯：林佩孜