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‪NETFLIX 剧集

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‪啊 贱人！

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‪-给我
‪-不用骂人

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‪给我 这东西太吓人了！

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‪来 走吧 好姑娘

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‪来 好姑娘

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‪-神啊！
‪-白痴！

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‪也许活着还是有点意思的！

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‪-神啊！
‪-这不好玩 搞不好会…

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‪哇 我不同意

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‪-托尼 能请你收拾一下吗？
‪-不能

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‪我的手肘也弄伤了

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‪真他妈的 快开始啊！

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‪我在做伸展运动
‪我做事喜欢按规矩来

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‪比如说打网球穿白袜

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‪快他妈把球给我

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‪托尼 请注意语言

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‪15比0

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‪加油 马修！

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‪-1比0
‪-好的 换边

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‪-算球了
‪-什么？

22
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‪第一局结束之后就要换边啊

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‪对 为了公平
‪但现在阳光照着我的眼睛

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‪你个傻逼 是对你有利

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‪在这里能不能请你别老是说脏话？

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‪-真他妈的
‪-好了 不要…

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‪不是吧！

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‪别这样

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‪别幼稚了

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‪运气不好

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‪打得不错

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‪-看看你
‪-怎么了？

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‪-太搞笑了
‪-什么搞笑？

34
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‪你看起来像马拉多纳

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‪不是80年代时的样子

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‪而是他死之前的样子

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‪-死了之后的样子
‪-别输了就骂人

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‪（坦布里报）

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‪谁赢了？

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‪他赢了 但是…

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‪-真的？
‪-嗯

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‪显然我不能再去那里了

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‪说的话简直让人没法儿听

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‪不停地飙脏话
‪在温布尔登的话 会被取消资格

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‪去他妈温布尔登

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‪-我没说错吧？
‪-不算什么

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‪前两天他在咖啡馆
‪吼一个带小孩的男人

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‪大家都看着 他就叫人家贱人

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‪理由很充分

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‪-为什么？
‪-因为他确实是贱人

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{\an8}‪永远不要用这个词

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{\an8}‪显得词汇很匮乏

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‪如果男人用这个词 我马上甩了他

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‪如果他说希特勒是贱人呢？

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‪很适合希特勒

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‪你不介意 对吧？

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‪如果一位女性不喜欢
‪我不会当着她的面说

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‪所以你在的时候
‪我要不就得不用这个词

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‪要不就得让你喜欢这个词

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‪我会让你把这个词用好

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‪会改变你的生活 相信我

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‪-你永远不会听到我说这个词
‪-走着瞧

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‪说到词汇
‪我安排了和一个老师约会 所以…

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‪很好 他教什么？

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‪不知道 怎么了？

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‪如果是教科学 最好不要说鬼和星座

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‪为什么？这也是科学啊

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‪不是

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‪恰恰相反 相信我

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‪在这里啊

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‪还好吗？讲一个笑话

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‪-鸡为什么过马路？
‪-不知道

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‪为了躲避
‪两个干我老婆的吉普赛人的臭味

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‪早上八点 在西夫韦超市后面

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‪恶心

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‪你为什么总说这种东西给我听？

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‪都不算正经笑话

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‪这就成喜剧评论员了？

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‪而且这是种族主义

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‪才不是！为什么？

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‪“两个干我老婆的吉普赛人的臭味？”

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‪臭味源自她身上！

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‪用用脑子 她有严重的女性卫生问题

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‪非要我说这么明白吗？
‪我天天得忍受呢！

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‪两个男的很有教养 非常干净
‪丹尼·理查兹和席德·纳什

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‪俩小伙很不错 臭的是她

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‪我会对她说：“你下面的树丛有味道”

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‪她还是他妈不听

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‪她会说：“如果神要我的鲍鱼有香味

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‪就不会把它放在我屁眼旁边”

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‪我知道你在想什么
‪你在想：“有道理 布莱恩”

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‪其实并不是

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‪问题不在她的屁眼 你自己想吧

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‪大家早上好

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‪你好 布莱恩

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‪能不能帮我一个忙？

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‪看情况

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‪我的邮递员现在很抑郁

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‪他对自己的生活感到很失望

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‪我想着如果让他和真正悲惨的人聊聊

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‪这可能让他对自己的情况感觉好一些

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‪-没问题 交给我
‪-谢谢

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‪我去喝点茶 喝茶时间到

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‪好的 打壁球

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‪-什么？
‪-打壁球

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‪不需要 我已经证明了我的观点

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‪你说得对 我感觉不那么好斗了

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‪-噢 没胆子了？
‪-不是

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‪感觉你像是没胆子了

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‪-不是
‪-你打壁球吃不消？

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‪-不是
‪-你以前打过？

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‪本世纪没打过 不过这不是问题

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‪太好了 那就没问题 球场见

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‪他什么都赢不了
‪我不会让这种事发生

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‪不论我得怎么做 我都会确保…

116
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‪看看 他气坏了

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‪他接受不了 不敢相信我打败了他

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‪你们青梅竹马 后来失去了联络？

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‪对 我们是在1957年认识的

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‪当时我16岁 比尔17岁

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‪我在工厂工作 比尔则是场地管理员

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‪我们在一起一年左右 后来分开了

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‪还记得是为什么吗？

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‪早饭吃了什么我都不记得了！

125
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‪他酗酒 总是喝醉

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‪-现在不喝了
‪-我喝

127
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‪反正我们就算是失去了联络

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‪我们遇见了其他人 也都结了婚

129
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‪这么多年来 我们应该是遇见过几次

130
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‪于是当我们发现
‪我们两个的另一半都去世之后

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‪我们就一起喝了一次茶
‪然后就又在一起了

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‪心中擦出的火花 永远不会熄灭

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‪我们就不大费周章结婚了

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‪但我是天主教徒

135
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‪于是我开始对这样的性关系感到愧疚

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‪性关系

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‪好的 婚礼安排在什么时候？

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‪-8月28日
‪-28日

139
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‪-8月我也要结婚
‪-笨蛋

140
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‪恭喜你们 希望你们幸福美满

141
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‪希望这次我先走

142
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‪希望到时候我还来得及找别人！

143
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‪拍一张照片

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‪微笑

145
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‪非常好

146
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‪我是不是不怎么抱丽莎？

147
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‪你开玩笑吗？
‪我没见过像你们这么相爱的一对

148
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‪不是 她知道我爱她
‪但是我有没有说出来呢？

149
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‪有没有总是跟她说？

150
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‪有啊 周围所有人都看在眼里
‪她更是心知肚明

151
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‪好兄弟

152
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‪我是实话实说 我也希望这样

153
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‪认识琼是我一生最大的幸运

154
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‪信不信由你 我没你以为的那么抢手

155
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‪-你是很好的选择
‪-真的？

156
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‪假的 离我远点
‪你这满身臭汗的软体动物

157
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‪你刚说我是很好的选择

158
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‪对 我是说深海钓鱼表演的时候

159
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‪从海底钓起来一样东西
‪大家还以为这个物种早就灭绝了

160
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‪谁都不知道这是什么 就是一团东西
‪可能是鱼或者鼻涕虫

161
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‪你这样说话才正常嘛

162
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‪什么都不可能再回归正常

163
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‪妈的 我为什么要提着一茬？

164
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‪以前的正常
‪是我们喝醉 你睡在沙发上

165
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‪我们今晚喝酒吧
‪不喝多 我自己能回家

166
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‪好的

167
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:13,760
‪你好

168
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:15,760
‪-你好
‪-你还好吗？

169
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,280
‪-嗯
‪-没事吧？

170
00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:19,240
‪-嗯 挺好的
‪-是嘛？

171
00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:20,800
‪今天天气不错

172
00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:25,840
‪-听说你心情不太好
‪-嗯

173
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‪跟我聊聊

174
00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:30,600
‪大家都知道萝西是做哪一行的

175
00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:32,760
‪-我比较尴尬
‪-尴尬？

176
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,760
‪我给别人送邮件
‪那些人很可能搞过她

177
00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:37,600
‪那还算好的

178
00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:41,680
‪-什么意思？
‪-如果付钱 也算不上搞

179
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:43,120
‪明白我的意思吧？

180
00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:44,960
‪你想想啊

181
00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:46,760
‪想象她要做的那些事

182
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‪传教士体位 传教士体位

183
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‪腻了

184
00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:52,560
‪“翻个身 让我看看屁股”

185
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‪也腻了

186
00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:58,960
‪“转过来 给我吹

187
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‪牙齿别咬到 用牙龈”

188
00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:05,080
‪“非常好 给你 钱拿好

189
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‪回到你邮递员男友身边去吧”

190
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:11,240
‪知道我的意思吧？

191
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,920
‪听我说 至少她还有钱拿

192
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‪我老婆以前是免费送

193
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‪有时候背着我 有时候她让我拍下来

194
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:24,680
‪我是什么感受？
‪我在拍 会有什么感受？

195
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:26,200
‪觉得自己一文不值

196
00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:28,760
‪就像吃鸟屎的鼻涕虫

197
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‪在雨中 等待着被踩

198
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‪痛苦地死去

199
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:37,360
‪我的意思是
‪不要做我这样一文不值的鼻涕虫

200
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:39,200
‪要像个男人一样

201
00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:42,200
‪回头见

202
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‪-你好
‪-你好

203
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‪你是我儿子

204
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‪对

205
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‪你还好吗 爸？

206
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‪还不错

207
00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:02,800
‪你去哪里了？

208
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‪澳大利亚

209
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:07,520
‪是哪里？

210
00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:10,840
‪从这里出去左转

211
00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:13,440
‪过去大概16000公里

212
00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:14,720
‪噢 好的

213
00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:16,720
‪但是你现在回来了？

214
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:18,680
‪-嗯
‪-不走了？

215
00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:21,280
‪-嗯
‪-你好

216
00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:22,720
‪-你好
‪-你好

217
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:24,280
‪我们在那啥…

218
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:27,000
‪扯扯家常

219
00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:30,800
‪你下次把象棋带来

220
00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:34,360
‪我们下一盘 你以前很厉害

221
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,160
‪-是嘛？
‪-是啊

222
00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:38,080
‪在哪里？

223
00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:43,160
‪餐柜里 在雪莉酒旁边

224
00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:46,920
‪-我明天带来
‪-谢谢

225
00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:49,120
‪我得走了

226
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,840
‪我可以休息一下 跟你一起走走

227
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:54,000
‪好的

228
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,080
‪-再见 爸
‪-再见

229
00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:06,840
‪你干什么？

230
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,600
‪朋友之间就应该牵手啊

231
00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:09,880
‪-是嘛？
‪-是的

232
00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:12,760
‪-有的男人之间都牵手
‪-同性恋

233
00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:15,160
‪直男有时候也会互相牵手

234
00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:18,160
‪哪儿有直男牵手在街上走的啊？

235
00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:20,680
‪在西班牙 而且不是同性恋

236
00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:22,240
‪有一些吧

237
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:25,840
‪-不太多 很有男子气概 斗牛士
‪-嗯

238
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,320
‪斗牛士不是同性恋

239
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:32,360
‪对 戴着小贝雷帽
‪穿着镶有亮片的紧身衣

240
00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:34,720
‪跳着舞到处晃
‪别人把玫瑰花扔给他们

241
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:35,800
‪绝对不是同性恋

242
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:37,640
‪虐待狂贱人

243
00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:40,720
‪但不是同性恋 我们去哪里？

244
00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:03,560
‪-干什么呢？
‪-水仙花

245
00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:05,400
‪嗯 故意损坏财物罪

246
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:09,160
‪操！我是为你摘的 混蛋！

247
00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:16,160
‪好的 开始吧

248
00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:18,840
‪你们有些人可能也知道

249
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:23,040
‪今年是坦布里集市500周年

250
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:27,640
‪安排我们做出一些文化方面的东西来

251
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:29,960
‪我已经说服了科琳

252
00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,760
‪她负责幕后组织

253
00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:35,760
‪她也会给我们安排特色任务

254
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:39,280
‪我一贯喜欢把大家安排到聚光灯下

255
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,960
‪我们要怎么做？给一些点子啊

256
00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:45,960
‪-有没有什么想法？历史性强一些的
‪-《悲惨世界》

257
00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:47,640
‪《悲惨世界》确实是古代的东西

258
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:49,240
‪但我们不能演这个

259
00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:51,000
‪我不出钱做这样的节目 去他妈的

260
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,960
‪我受够了《贝隆夫人》

261
00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:54,960
‪到现在还没完

262
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:59,040
‪不行 要更互动的东西 可以到处走走

263
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:00,720
‪有一种漫步的感觉

264
00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:04,600
‪别人走过来
‪一个维京人走来 强奸 劫掠

265
00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:05,680
‪我就是打个比方

266
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:08,680
‪一个和尚走来 为你祈福
‪古代的那种东西！

267
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:09,760
‪比如说海盗船

268
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:12,440
‪一头猪！到处跑！

269
00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,200
‪这个主意怎么样？我不知道

270
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:17,400
‪给点意见！不能光是我在想
‪我们还有什么点子？

271
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,560
‪我可以扮演失业的莎士比亚戏剧演员

272
00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:22,880
‪别这样 詹姆斯

273
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:25,000
‪我们都只是要好好玩罢了

274
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:26,840
‪我们都放弃了自己的宝贵时间

275
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:28,880
‪但是你不用送报纸

276
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:30,800
‪你也不用 多数都被你扔了

277
00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,600
‪听我说 我现在的情况不太好 而且…

278
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:38,880
‪你的情况从来就不好 詹姆斯

279
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,160
‪那我呢？
‪我也有一次和你一起错信过人

280
00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:43,080
‪我有点担心他

281
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:46,320
‪因为除了表演
‪他完全没有任何事可做

282
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,160
‪这就是表演 你还要什么呢？

283
00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:51,240
‪但这很业余 都很业余！

284
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:54,360
‪业余？你可别这么说

285
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:57,360
‪我是专业演员兼导演 你会知道的

286
00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:58,640
‪你演过什么？

287
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:02,120
‪音乐剧《出租车司机》 在维冈

288
00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:03,640
‪演得好吗？

289
00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:05,160
‪你来评判

290
00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:08,760
‪你在和我说吗？我在和你说

291
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:11,720
‪我看不出你他妈是在和别人说

292
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:12,640
‪砰 砰！

293
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:14,440
‪我是出租车司机

294
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,760
‪我行驶在夜里 爱接谁就接谁

295
00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:18,680
‪砰 砰！

296
00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:20,400
‪我是出租车司机

297
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:25,000
‪如果你在卖可卡因
‪那就从后面给我拿一份

298
00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:25,920
‪今晚！

299
00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:27,360
‪出租车！

300
00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:32,400
‪他演得真不错

301
00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:53,680
‪现在也不太有人给服务员打指响了

302
00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:55,360
‪要给你酒水单吗？

303
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,960
‪可能应该是“请问要不要酒水单？”

304
00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,160
‪-抱歉
‪-谢谢

305
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:02,440
‪你对葡萄酒了解吗？

306
00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:05,600
‪不太懂 我喜欢普罗赛柯葡萄酒

307
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:08,360
‪-要不要点？
‪-好的

308
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:13,240
‪请给我们来两杯

309
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:16,880
‪2017年的基安蒂葡萄酒 麻烦

310
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,880
‪-其他的我们之后再点
‪-哪一种酒？

311
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:25,840
‪2017年的基安蒂葡萄酒
‪我不可能说得更具体了

312
00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:27,760
‪白纸黑字写在那里

313
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,160
‪-好的
‪-本职工作上的东西要了解

314
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:33,200
‪如果心不在焉的话

315
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:34,720
‪那也许不该在这里

316
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:37,520
‪我拿的是最低工资 朋友

317
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:39,600
‪上学时应该更努力一些 朋友

318
00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:43,600
‪夹着尾巴跑了

319
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:45,240
‪对了 你是在…

320
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:46,440
‪手肘不要搁在桌上

321
00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:49,280
‪-你是在报纸行业工作？
‪-是的

322
00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:50,440
‪-在报社？
‪-是的

323
00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:53,640
‪是的

324
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:56,800
‪我其实只看《卫报》

325
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:01,080
‪偶尔会看《私家侦探》
‪不过看的时候也会分心

326
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:04,840
‪我的思维很具有创意

327
00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:07,400
‪我会写诗

328
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:10,600
‪你喜欢诗吗？

329
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:13,080
‪-嗯
‪-嗯 是的

330
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:16,000
‪-喜欢吗？
‪-嗯

331
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:18,400
‪很多人说喜欢诗

332
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:22,120
‪但其实意思是
‪喜欢鲁德亚德·吉卜林的诗

333
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:25,320
‪他们觉得这就是高雅的艺术

334
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:28,080
‪就像有的人说会下…手肘

335
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,000
‪就像有的人说会下象棋

336
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:33,760
‪其实他们的意思是知道象棋的规则

337
00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:38,000
‪你喜欢象棋吗？

338
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:41,360
‪-我不下象棋
‪-你不下 好的

339
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,360
‪-但是你知道象棋的规则 对吧？
‪-知道一些

340
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:45,280
‪好的

341
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:47,720
‪-知道一些
‪-什么？

342
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:51,520
‪象棋里有小马

343
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:52,920
‪是马

344
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,720
‪-还有猪？
‪-卒

345
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:57,840
‪我会下跳棋

346
00:17:57,920 --> 00:17:59,440
‪跳棋简单很多 对吧？

347
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:00,960
‪跳棋是非常简单的游戏

348
00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:10,960
‪来

349
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,040
‪这算是每日五份餐中的一份

350
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:19,960
‪-等于是葡萄
‪-对 没错

351
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:22,920
‪-喝
‪-喝

352
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:30,200
‪-你还好吧？
‪-你 挺好的 你呢？

353
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:32,960
‪我想问你一些事

354
00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:36,280
‪-好的
‪-你完全可以拒绝 没问题

355
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:39,760
‪我在想你能不能给我当伴郎

356
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:42,720
‪操！

357
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:45,920
‪我适合当伴郎吗？

358
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,240
‪-说实话 也只有你来当了
‪-嗯

359
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:50,440
‪好的

360
00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:57,400
‪我必须答应 对吧？

361
00:18:58,440 --> 00:18:59,560
‪如果我还活着

362
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:02,520
‪-你怎么还这么说话？
‪-不是

363
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:06,040
‪我吃喝过量 可能熬不到八月

364
00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:09,280
‪好的 只要你是自然死亡 那就没问题

365
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,720
‪希望如此

366
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:16,440
‪不见得为了不当伴郎去寻死

367
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:22,480
‪我受宠若惊啊 真他妈的

368
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:24,160
‪我得保持清醒吗？

369
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:26,960
‪在致辞之前最好要清醒

370
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:29,600
‪那就在典礼开始之前致辞

371
00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:30,800
‪好吧

372
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:32,360
‪别说了 我们…

373
00:19:39,360 --> 00:19:41,320
‪你教科学？

374
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:42,240
‪不是

375
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:49,320
‪我从事文学学科教学 我教英语

376
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:52,840
‪-语言及文学
‪-噢 好的

377
00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:56,080
‪-我喜欢星座
‪-什么？

378
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:57,960
‪我喜欢星…

379
00:19:58,040 --> 00:19:59,320
‪-星座？
‪-嗯

380
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:04,400
‪-你呢？
‪-我喜不喜欢星座？

381
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,920
‪-嗯
‪-当然不喜欢

382
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:10,320
‪哗众取宠 废话连篇

383
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:13,240
‪一厢情愿

384
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,040
‪是轻信者和绝望者的最爱

385
00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:17,000
‪无意冒犯

386
00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:19,040
‪坐直了

387
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:22,440
‪收肩 手肘永远不要放到桌上

388
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:29,760
‪-你期待吗？婚后的生活？
‪-肯定啊

389
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:31,320
‪嗯

390
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,640
‪没错 以后不能出去玩了

391
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:36,480
‪但是利大于弊

392
00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:37,960
‪好的

393
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:41,800
‪比如我以前会整晚坐着看电视吃东西

394
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,000
‪现在我还是会这样

395
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:46,200
‪但我不需要再起来弄吃的了

396
00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:47,280
‪她会拿给我

397
00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,560
‪-非常好
‪-不过得看一些女人的电视

398
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:52,520
‪比如呢？

399
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,640
‪《王冠》《伦敦生活》
‪《大英烤焗大赛》

400
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:57,800
‪但如果我看见一个喜欢的蛋糕

401
00:20:57,880 --> 00:20:59,600
‪我就会说：“噢 感觉会很好吃”

402
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:00,960
‪第二天我就能吃到了

403
00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:04,600
‪《大英烤焗大赛》
‪现在成你的购物频道了？

404
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,680
‪-嗯
‪-太棒了 好日子啊！

405
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,280
‪两个放前面 一个放边上

406
00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:11,200
‪手肘

407
00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:13,320
‪谢谢

408
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:15,480
‪-我来付
‪-好的

409
00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:16,680
‪你付小费

410
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:19,200
‪-多少钱？
‪-38镑

411
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,480
‪-好的
‪-15%

412
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:24,880
‪是多少？

413
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:32,720
‪38的10%是多少？

414
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:36,520
‪3.8镑

415
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:37,600
‪3.8镑 很厉害啊

416
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,480
‪再加50% 是多少呢？

417
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:42,280
‪我给5镑好了

418
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:44,360
‪不够吧？

419
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:46,880
‪-那就给10镑
‪-多太多了

420
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:48,920
‪-我喜欢多给小费 好吗？
‪-好的

421
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,280
‪好的 这是什么呢？

422
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:55,440
‪汇丰银行 先进的英国借记卡

423
00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:57,520
‪小胡子！

424
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:00,080
‪噢 小胡子？

425
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:09,840
‪-你最近似乎开心了一些
‪-是嘛？

426
00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:12,200
‪嗯

427
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,040
‪我只是尽量把日子过下去

428
00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:17,360
‪我当然是想好起来

429
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:20,200
‪我想当一个好人

430
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:22,720
‪但有时候

431
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:25,040
‪我懒得烦

432
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,040
‪太难了

433
00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:28,600
‪说起来简单

434
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:29,800
‪但真的做的时候

435
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:34,920
‪面对真正的牺牲 就会躲避

436
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,120
‪比如

437
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:37,960
‪我会捐肾脏给陌生人吗？

438
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:40,320
‪不会 肯定不会

439
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:43,840
‪连你我都不会给 但有些人就会给

440
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:45,800
‪他们怎么就这么好呢？

441
00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:47,800
‪太不可思议了

442
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:51,200
‪我想要做好事

443
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,240
‪我想要作出牺牲

444
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:55,480
‪想要作出贡献

445
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:57,400
‪但我又一想

446
00:22:58,240 --> 00:22:59,360
‪“有什么意义呢？”

447
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:01,720
‪即便我把肾脏捐给别人

448
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:05,320
‪那人总有一天还是会死

449
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:07,400
‪捐不捐有什么关系？

450
00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:09,520
‪现在当我看见孩子们在玩

451
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:12,120
‪我不会想：“有大好的人生等着他们”

452
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:15,680
‪我会想：“有一天他们都会死
‪所以这一切毫无意义”

453
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:18,200
‪你的伴郎致辞可以让我修改一下吗？

454
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:23,680
‪我的意思是我现在不在意生死了

455
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:25,680
‪我不是说想死

456
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:27,480
‪而是说随它去了

457
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:30,760
‪我现在不愤怒了 不想惩罚世界

458
00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:34,000
‪我已经过了一辈子
‪现在也没什么新的内容了

459
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:38,400
‪别人觉得我可以和其他人接着过
‪对于这一点我很生气

460
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:39,720
‪就好像我能找人替代丽莎

461
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:40,640
‪不可能的

462
00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:42,200
‪我也乐于这样

463
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:47,200
‪因为这会使我和她在一起的时光
‪更美、更珍贵

464
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:49,560
‪我现在所拥有的一切 都是因为她

465
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:53,680
‪她把房贷全还了 买了人寿保险

466
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:59,720
‪我有15万镑 我还没去拿

467
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:01,880
‪你有15万镑？

468
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:04,360
‪我还没去拿钱

469
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:07,080
‪因为我不想要

470
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,040
‪因为我是通过这种方式拿到的

471
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:14,600
‪托尼 你一定要去拿

472
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:17,720
‪他妈保险公司的钱为什么不拿

473
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:21,240
‪去开一下门 好吗？我不想吵到狗

474
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:22,920
‪-啊？
‪-去吧

475
00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:30,280
‪-噢 你好
‪-你好

476
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:32,840
‪是凯思

477
00:24:37,120 --> 00:24:37,960
‪你还好吗？

478
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:40,280
‪-嗯
‪-约会怎么样？

479
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:45,680
‪无法描述

480
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:47,640
‪他怎么样？

481
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:50,000
‪绝对的贱人

482
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:54,760
‪我为你感到骄傲 要来一杯吗？

483
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:57,640
‪-好的 麻烦
‪-给凯思拿一个杯子 好吗？

484
00:24:58,160 --> 00:24:59,880
‪-啊？
‪-去吧！我拿不了

485
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:02,280
‪什么态度

486
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:04,880
‪字幕翻译：朱音

