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‪NETFLIX 影集

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‪你這爛人

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‪-給我
‪-不用罵髒話吧

4
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‪快給我，你拿著那東西真的很討人厭

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‪快來，走吧，好乖

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‪快點，好乖

7
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‪-天啊
‪-笨蛋

8
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‪說不定活下去還是有意義的

9
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‪-我的天啊
‪-不好笑，我說真的，可能會…

10
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‪天啊，我不覺得

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‪-東尼，把這裡整理好
‪-不要

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‪我的手肘也受傷了

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‪真要命，快點

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‪我在伸展，我喜歡照規矩來

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‪例如穿白色打網球

16
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‪你他媽快把球給我

17
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‪東尼，注意你的措辭

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‪15比0

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‪加油，麥修

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‪-一比零
‪-好，換邊

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‪-不要，靠
‪-什麼？

22
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‪第一局打完就是要換邊

23
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‪但陽光照著我的眼睛
‪你這呆瓜，這對你有利

24
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‪不要一直在這用這種詞好嗎？拜託你

25
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‪-搞屁啊
‪-好啦，你就…

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‪不要

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‪你別想

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‪成熟點吧

29
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‪算你衰

30
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‪很精彩的比賽

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‪-瞧你那樣子
‪-怎樣？

32
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‪-簡直是笑話
‪-什麼啦？

33
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‪你看起來就像馬拉度納

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‪不是80年代的他，是…

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‪他過世之前

36
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‪-他死之後
‪-別耍嘴皮子

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‪（《坦伯里報章》）

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‪誰贏了？

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‪他贏了，不過…

40
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‪-真假？
‪-對

41
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‪我絕不會再回去那邊
‪他的措辭嚇死人了

42
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‪他滿場罵髒話
‪溫布頓會取消他的資格

43
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‪-去他的溫布頓
‪-知道我在說什麼了嗎？

44
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‪這不算什麼
‪他那天在咖啡館對著帶小孩的人吼

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‪大家都在看，還罵他是爛人

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‪基於很好的理由

47
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‪-什麼理由？
‪-他是爛人

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‪絕對不能這樣說人家

49
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‪顯現詞彙量低落
‪哪個男的用那個字，我馬上拒絕他

50
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‪如果他說希特勒是爛人呢？

51
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‪下重藥講希特勒

52
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‪這不會困擾你吧？

53
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‪不會，但女生不喜歡聽的話
‪我不會在她身邊說

54
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‪所以我要不是在妳身邊不說
‪就是讓妳喜歡這個詞

55
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‪我會讓妳善用這詞彙
‪這會改變妳的一生，相信我

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‪-你永遠不會聽到我說那個詞
‪-等著瞧

57
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‪說到詞彙
‪我跟一位老師有約，那就…

58
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‪很好，他教什麼的？

59
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‪不知道，怎麼了？

60
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‪如果是自然科學
‪我可能不會提鬼魂和占星術

61
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‪為什麼？那也是科學

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‪不是，真的

63
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‪天秤的兩端，相信我

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‪她在這

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‪妳好嗎？我有個笑話

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‪-雞為什麼要過馬路？
‪-不知道

67
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‪為了遠離兩個吉普賽人
‪和我老婆上床的味道

68
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‪早上八點在喜互惠超市後面

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‪噁心

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‪你為什麼老是跟我說那些話？
‪根本不好笑

71
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‪現在成了喜劇評論家是吧？

72
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‪還有，這是種族歧視

73
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‪別鬧了，哪有？

74
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‪-“吉普賽人和我老婆上床的味道？”
‪-有味道的是我老婆

75
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‪動動腦袋，她很不注重女性衛生

76
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‪這還要我說嗎？我可是活生生的證明

77
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‪那兩個小子很乖，相當乾淨
‪丹尼李查德和席德納許

78
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‪很討喜的兩個男生，臭的是她

79
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‪我說過她的鮑鮑飄散著鮑味

80
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‪她根本不聽

81
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‪她說：“如果上帝要我有香香的下面

82
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‪祂就不會讓我跟渾球在一起”

83
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‪我知道妳在想什麼
‪“她說的對，布萊恩”

84
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‪才怪咧

85
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‪問題不是她的屁眼，妳想想

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‪大夥早

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‪你好，布萊恩

88
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‪可以幫我一個忙嗎？

89
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‪看情況

90
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‪我的郵差現在很沮喪

91
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‪他對人生感到低潮

92
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‪我覺得如果他能跟一個很慘的人聊聊

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‪他可能會覺得自己沒那麼慘

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‪-沒問題，交給我
‪-謝啦

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‪我來泡茶喝，午茶時間到了

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‪好，打壁球

97
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‪-什麼？
‪-壁球

98
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‪不用了，我證明了我的觀點
‪你說的對，我沒這麼好鬥了

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‪-怕了？
‪-不是

100
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‪聽起來你是怕了

101
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‪-不是
‪-壁球讓你太累了？

102
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‪-不是
‪-你以前打過？

103
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‪本世紀沒有，不過那沒差

104
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‪沒差就好，球場見

105
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‪他絕對贏不了，我不可能讓他贏

106
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‪我會想盡辦法，一定讓他…

107
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‪看看他，激動得要命

108
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‪他無法接受，不相信我會打敗他

109
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‪所以你們是青梅竹馬，後來失聯？

110
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‪對，我們認識於1957年

111
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‪我那時16歲，比爾17歲

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‪我在工廠工作，比爾是管理員

113
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‪我們在一起大概一年後分開

114
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‪-妳記得原因嗎？
‪-我連早餐吃什麼都忘了

115
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‪他喝太多了，老是在喝酒

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‪-我現在不喝了
‪-我喝

117
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‪所以總之，我們算失聯了

118
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‪認識其他人
‪兩人都結婚了，就是這樣

119
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‪這些年來我們碰到彼此兩次吧

120
00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:04,160
‪所以我們發現彼此喪偶時

121
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‪一起喝了杯茶，再次點燃愛火

122
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‪火花永遠不會消失

123
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‪我們本來想省事不結婚

124
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‪但我是天主教徒
‪因為行房而開始感到心不安

125
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‪行房

126
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‪好，婚禮是什麼時候？

127
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‪-8月28日
‪-28日

128
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‪-我八月要結婚
‪-呆瓜

129
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‪恭喜，希望你們能永保幸福

130
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‪希望這次我先走

131
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‪希望我來得及找別人

132
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‪拍張照

133
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‪笑一個

134
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‪太好了

135
00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:55,240
‪我抱莉莎抱得夠嗎？

136
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,280
‪你開什麼玩笑？

137
00:07:58,080 --> 00:07:59,920
‪我沒看過哪對情侶這麼專注於彼此

138
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:04,320
‪不是，她知道我愛她
‪但我有大聲說出來過嗎？

139
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,800
‪我有一直提醒她嗎？

140
00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:09,880
‪有，明眼人都看得出來，更不用說她

141
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‪你人真好

142
00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:15,000
‪我只是實話實說，這也是我想要的

143
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:18,080
‪認識阿瓊已經是我這輩子最棒的事了

144
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‪信不信由你，我沒有你想的這麼夯了

145
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,040
‪-你是很好的對象
‪-要抱一下嗎？

146
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‪-不要，離我遠一點，你這臭汗桶
‪-你剛才誇我是好對象

147
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‪對，但我是說在那種深海釣魚節目

148
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‪從海底釣起來的東西

149
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‪人家以為絕種的東西

150
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:38,960
‪他們根本不曉得那是什麼
‪只知一團肉，可能是魚或蛞蝓

151
00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:40,800
‪又恢復正常了

152
00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:46,000
‪-沒什麼事會恢復正常
‪-靠，我真是自找麻煩？

153
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‪所謂的正常是我們喝醉，你睡在沙發

154
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:53,440
‪今晚來喝酒吧，沒什麼的，我會回家

155
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‪也好

156
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:13,760
‪小子

157
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:15,760
‪-還好嗎？
‪-你好嗎？

158
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,280
‪-好
‪-過得如何？

159
00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:19,240
‪-還行
‪-是嗎？

160
00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:20,800
‪天氣很好吧？

161
00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:25,840
‪-聽說你心情不好
‪-對

162
00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:26,760
‪跟我聊聊

163
00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:30,600
‪大家都知道蘿絲是做什麼的

164
00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:32,760
‪-我覺得很丟臉
‪-丟臉？

165
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,760
‪我送信的對象可能跟她上過床

166
00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:37,600
‪最起碼是

167
00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:41,680
‪-什麼意思？
‪-不曉得是不是銀貨兩訖的交易

168
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:43,120
‪懂我的意思嗎？

169
00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:46,760
‪你想想，小子，想像她要做多少事

170
00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:50,800
‪傳教士體位沒完沒了，無聊死了

171
00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:52,560
‪“轉過去，給我看屁股”

172
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‪看膩了

173
00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:58,960
‪“轉過來，含住我的棒棒糖”

174
00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:01,800
‪“小心牙齒，別咬到了”

175
00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:05,080
‪“爽啦，好了，錢拿去”

176
00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:07,280
‪“現在回去找你的郵差男友”

177
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:11,240
‪懂我的意思嗎？

178
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,920
‪至少她有收錢

179
00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:18,520
‪我老婆以前都給人免費幹

180
00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:21,520
‪有時偷偷來，有時會叫我幫忙拍

181
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:24,680
‪我臉往哪擺？
‪我在拍耶，我臉往哪擺？

182
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‪沒用

183
00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:28,760
‪就像吃鳥屎的蛞蝓

184
00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:31,000
‪在雨中，只會被踩到

185
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:33,400
‪孤獨地等死

186
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:37,360
‪我是要說，別像我一樣當沒用的蛞蝓

187
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:39,200
‪當個男子漢

188
00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:42,200
‪回頭見

189
00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:52,560
‪-你好
‪-你好

190
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:54,880
‪你是我兒子

191
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‪對

192
00:10:57,920 --> 00:10:58,960
‪爸，你好嗎？

193
00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:00,680
‪沒得抱怨

194
00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:03,200
‪你跑去哪了？

195
00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:04,960
‪澳洲

196
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:07,520
‪那是哪裡？

197
00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:10,840
‪如果你從這裡出去，往左轉

198
00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:13,440
‪大概距離16100公里

199
00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:14,720
‪這樣啊

200
00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:16,720
‪你現在回來了？

201
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‪-對
‪-不走了？

202
00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:21,280
‪-對
‪-你好

203
00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:22,720
‪-妳好
‪-嗨

204
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:24,280
‪我只是在，妳知道的…

205
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:27,000
‪聊聊

206
00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:30,800
‪你應該帶西洋棋組給我

207
00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:34,360
‪我擺一局給你
‪你小時候很會下西洋棋

208
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,160
‪-有嗎？
‪-有

209
00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:38,080
‪你放哪？

210
00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:43,160
‪餐具櫃，跟…雪莉酒一起

211
00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:46,920
‪-我明天帶過來
‪-謝謝

212
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,520
‪我還是先走好了，我只是…

213
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,840
‪不介意的話
‪我可以休息一下，陪你走一段

214
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:54,000
‪好，當然好

215
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,080
‪-再見，爸
‪-再見

216
00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:06,840
‪妳在做什麼？

217
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,600
‪朋友會牽手

218
00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:09,880
‪-會嗎？
‪-會

219
00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:12,760
‪-有些男的還會牽手呢
‪-同志才會

220
00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:15,160
‪直男有時也會牽手

221
00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:18,160
‪哪種直男走在街上會牽手？

222
00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:20,680
‪在西班牙，而且他們不是同志

223
00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:22,240
‪有些是

224
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:25,840
‪-不是很多，很有男子氣概的鬥牛士
‪-好

225
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,320
‪鬥牛士不是同志

226
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:32,360
‪不是，戴著貝雷帽，穿著亮片緊身裝

227
00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:34,720
‪四處跳舞，有人拿玫瑰花丟向他們

228
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:35,800
‪絕對不會是同志

229
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:37,640
‪施虐成性的蠢蛋

230
00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:40,720
‪但不是同志，我們要去哪？

231
00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:03,560
‪-妳在做什麼？
‪-水仙花

232
00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:05,400
‪對，這是刑事損害

233
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:09,160
‪媽的，我是要採給你的
‪你這沒救的王八蛋

234
00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:16,160
‪好，大家來吧

235
00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:18,840
‪你們有些可能知道

236
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:23,040
‪這是坦伯里市集的500週年慶

237
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:24,960
‪像我這樣的傻瓜要求

238
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:27,640
‪坦伯里戲劇社
‪一定要為活動增添文化氣息

239
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:29,960
‪我已經說服柯琳

240
00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,760
‪她會負責幕後花絮的籌劃

241
00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:35,760
‪還會幫我們拍一部大長片

242
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:39,280
‪我很會讓大家注意我們，對吧？

243
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,960
‪快想想要做什麼？我們需要一些點子

244
00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:45,960
‪-有想法嗎？跟歷史有關的
‪-《悲慘世界》

245
00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:49,240
‪《悲慘世界》的背景不是過去
‪我們不能拍那個

246
00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:51,000
‪我可不會付錢，管他的

247
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,960
‪《艾薇塔》已經讓我付到受不了了

248
00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:54,960
‪現在還在付錢

249
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:59,040
‪不行，我們需要能互動的東西
‪能讓你們走來走去

250
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:00,720
‪有遊行的感覺

251
00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:04,600
‪大家走向你
‪有維京海盜走過來，姦淫擄掠

252
00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:05,680
‪不是真的啦

253
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:08,680
‪有僧人走向你，祝福你，過去那一套

254
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:12,440
‪海盜船，我不知道，豬，有豬到處跑

255
00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,200
‪這樣好嗎？我不知道

256
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:17,400
‪快說點什麼，不能只有我說
‪我們還有什麼點子？

257
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,560
‪我可以演失業的莎翁劇演員

258
00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:22,880
‪別開始抱怨，詹姆士

259
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:26,840
‪這是大家的休閒娛樂
‪我們放棄自己的時間來這

260
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:28,880
‪但你不用送報紙

261
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:30,800
‪你也不用，你幾乎都丟掉了

262
00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,600
‪聽著，我過得不是很順…

263
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:38,880
‪你沒順過，詹姆士，你在說什麼？

264
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,160
‪那我怎麼辦？我選你等於押錯寶

265
00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:43,080
‪我有點擔心他

266
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:46,320
‪因為沒有表演，他無事可做

267
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,160
‪這就是表演，你還有什麼好要求的？

268
00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:51,240
‪但這只是演好玩的，這全都是

269
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:54,360
‪演好玩的？你膽大包天

270
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:57,360
‪我可是專業演員兼導演，我先說清楚

271
00:14:57,440 --> 00:15:02,120
‪-你演過什麼？
‪-《計程車司機》，音樂劇的，威根

272
00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:03,640
‪有紅嗎？

273
00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:05,160
‪你說說看啊

274
00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:08,760
‪你在跟我說話嗎？因為我在跟你說話

275
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:11,720
‪我沒看到有人可以跟你說話

276
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:12,640
‪碰碰

277
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:14,440
‪我是計程車司機

278
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,760
‪在晚上排班，看順眼的才載

279
00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:18,680
‪碰碰

280
00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:20,400
‪我是計程車司機

281
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:25,000
‪如果你販毒，那就準備後腦吃子彈

282
00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:25,920
‪就是今晚

283
00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:27,360
‪計程車

284
00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:32,400
‪他很厲害

285
00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:55,360
‪-大家不彈手指叫服務生了，你好
‪-要給你酒單嗎？

286
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,960
‪是“我可以拿酒單給您嗎？”

287
00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,160
‪-不好意思
‪-謝謝

288
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:02,440
‪妳對酒熟嗎？

289
00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:05,600
‪不太熟，我喜歡普羅賽克氣泡酒

290
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:08,360
‪-要我點嗎？
‪-好

291
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:12,520
‪可以給我們兩杯

292
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:16,880
‪2017年的古典奇揚地嗎？麻煩你

293
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,880
‪-之後我們再看看
‪-哪一個？

294
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:25,840
‪我說得很清楚，2017年的古典奇揚地

295
00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:28,200
‪白紙黑字寫在酒單上

296
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,160
‪-好
‪-要充分了解你的工作

297
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:35,040
‪如果你沒有心，也許不該在這

298
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:37,520
‪我拿最低工資，老兄

299
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:39,680
‪用功唸書，老兄

300
00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:43,600
‪他走了，逃之夭夭

301
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:48,920
‪所以妳在…
‪手肘不要靠桌上，妳在報業任職？

302
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,440
‪-對
‪-報業人員？

303
00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:53,640
‪對

304
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:56,800
‪我只看《衛報》

305
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:01,080
‪偶爾會看《私家偵探》
‪但即使是這樣我還是會換著看

306
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:04,840
‪我喜歡稱我的大腦為創意大腦

307
00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:07,400
‪我有寫詩

308
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:10,600
‪妳喜歡詩嗎？

309
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:13,080
‪-喜歡
‪-對

310
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:16,000
‪-喜歡嗎？
‪-對

311
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:18,400
‪很多人都說自己喜歡詩

312
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:22,120
‪但他們說的是
‪喜歡魯德亞德吉卜林的《假如》

313
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:25,320
‪他們覺得這樣說是高級藝術的表現

314
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:28,080
‪就像有人說會下…手肘

315
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,000
‪就像有人說會下棋

316
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:33,760
‪但他們其實是在說
‪他們知道棋子能怎麼走

317
00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:38,000
‪妳喜歡下棋嗎？

318
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:41,360
‪-我不…不下棋
‪-妳不下棋，很好

319
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,360
‪-那妳知道棋子怎麼走嗎？
‪-我知道幾個

320
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:45,280
‪很好

321
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:47,720
‪-幾個
‪-妳說什麼？

322
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:51,520
‪西洋棋裡有馬，小馬

323
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:52,920
‪有騎士

324
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,720
‪-還有…餅？
‪-兵

325
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:57,840
‪我下的是英國跳棋

326
00:17:57,920 --> 00:17:59,440
‪跳棋不是比較簡單嗎？

327
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:00,960
‪跳棋是很簡單的遊戲

328
00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:10,960
‪好乖

329
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,040
‪這是你一日五蔬果的其中一份

330
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:19,960
‪-葡萄
‪-對，正解

331
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:22,920
‪-敬你
‪-敬你

332
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:30,200
‪-你沒事吧？
‪-對，我很好，你好嗎？

333
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:32,960
‪我有件事想問你

334
00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:36,280
‪-好
‪-拒絕沒關係，這沒什麼

335
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:39,760
‪但你是否願意在我的婚禮上當伴郎

336
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:42,720
‪幹

337
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:45,920
‪我真的是最佳人選嗎？

338
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,240
‪-你萬中選一，我說真的
‪-好

339
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:50,440
‪好

340
00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:57,400
‪我不答應也不行吧？

341
00:18:58,440 --> 00:18:59,840
‪如果我還活著的話就答應你

342
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:02,520
‪-你還把死掛嘴邊？
‪-沒有

343
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:06,040
‪我吃多喝多，說不定活不到八月

344
00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:09,280
‪好，只要你是自然死亡就沒關係

345
00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:11,720
‪我也這樣希望

346
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:16,440
‪我寧可去死也不要當伴郎

347
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:22,480
‪我受寵若驚，真要命

348
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:24,160
‪我一定要滴酒不沾嗎？

349
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:26,960
‪可能要撐到致詞

350
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:29,600
‪先致詞再舉行儀式吧

351
00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:30,800
‪好，也行

352
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:32,360
‪你別鬧了，我們就…

353
00:19:39,360 --> 00:19:41,320
‪你教自然科學嗎？

354
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:42,240
‪沒有

355
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:48,400
‪我從事藝術方面的教學

356
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:49,320
‪我教英文

357
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:52,840
‪-語言及文學，終於合而為一
‪-那很好

358
00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:56,080
‪-我喜歡占星術
‪-不好意思？

359
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:57,960
‪我喜歡占…

360
00:19:58,040 --> 00:19:59,320
‪-占星術
‪-對

361
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:04,400
‪-你呢？
‪-我喜歡占星術嗎？

362
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,920
‪-對
‪-不行，肯定不喜歡

363
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:10,320
‪胡言亂語，亂七八糟

364
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:13,240
‪一廂情願的想法

365
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,040
‪給腦波弱、走投無路的人

366
00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:17,000
‪沒別的意思

367
00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:19,040
‪坐挺

368
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:22,440
‪肩膀往後，手肘離開桌子，不能放

369
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:29,760
‪-你期待嗎？婚姻生活？
‪-那當然

370
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:33,640
‪對，一定的，我都放棄拈花惹草了

371
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:36,480
‪但利大於弊

372
00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:37,960
‪很好

373
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:41,800
‪例如我以前會看整晚的電視、吃東西

374
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,000
‪我現在還是會

375
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:47,280
‪但我不用站起來拿食物，她會拿給我

376
00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,560
‪-很好
‪-不得不看女生的節目

377
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:52,520
‪例如什麼？

378
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,640
‪《王冠》、《邋遢女郎》
‪《英國烘焙大賽》

379
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:57,800
‪但要是我看到喜歡的蛋糕

380
00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:00,960
‪只要說：“看起來很好吃”
‪我知道隔天就會吃到

381
00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:04,600
‪所以《英國烘焙大賽》
‪對你而言就像購物頻道？

382
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,680
‪-對
‪-不可思議，好棒的人生

383
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,280
‪往前兩步，往右一步

384
00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:11,200
‪手肘

385
00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:13,320
‪謝謝

386
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:15,480
‪-我來付
‪-太好了

387
00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:16,920
‪小費給妳出

388
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:19,200
‪-多少錢？
‪-38英鎊

389
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,480
‪-好
‪-百分之15

390
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:24,880
‪所以是？

391
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:32,720
‪38的百分之10是多少？

392
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:36,520
‪3鎊80便士

393
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:37,600
‪3鎊80便士，她算好了

394
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,480
‪那再加百分之50呢？

395
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:42,280
‪我就拿五英鎊鈔票吧

396
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:44,360
‪這樣還不夠吧？

397
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:46,880
‪-那就10英鎊鈔票吧
‪-超過太多了

398
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:48,920
‪-我給小費很大方，行嗎？
‪-好

399
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,280
‪好了，這裡有什麼卡呢？

400
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:55,440
‪匯豐銀行、運籌理財英國記帳卡

401
00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:57,520
‪小鬍子

402
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:00,080
‪小鬍子？

403
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:09,840
‪-你最近好像比較開心了
‪-有嗎？

404
00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:12,200
‪有

405
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,040
‪我只想繼續過日子

406
00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:17,360
‪我當然想好起來

407
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:20,200
‪我想當好人

408
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:22,720
‪但有時候

409
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:25,040
‪我就是懶

410
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,040
‪太難了

411
00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:29,800
‪我們說的頭頭是道，但說到重點時

412
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:35,440
‪我們都會逃避真正的犧牲，例如說

413
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:37,960
‪我會把腎給陌生人嗎？

414
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:40,320
‪不會，絕對不會

415
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:43,840
‪我不會給你，但有些人會

416
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:45,800
‪他們怎麼會這麼好？

417
00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:47,800
‪這真的很了不起

418
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:51,200
‪我想做點好事，你知道嗎？

419
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,240
‪我想犧牲，我想

420
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:55,480
‪有一番作為

421
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:57,400
‪但後來我又想

422
00:22:58,240 --> 00:22:59,360
‪“這樣有什麼意義？”

423
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:01,720
‪所以我把腎給別人

424
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:05,320
‪但他們橫豎有一天會死，所以

425
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:07,400
‪誰會在意？

426
00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:10,040
‪我現在看到小孩在玩，我不會想說

427
00:23:10,120 --> 00:23:12,120
‪“他們前途一片光明”

428
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:15,680
‪我會想說：“他們總有一天會死
‪所以這一切沒有意義”

429
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:18,200
‪你會讓我改伴郎致詞嗎？

430
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:23,680
‪但我要說的應該是我不再在意死亡

431
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:25,680
‪我不是說我想死，我是說…

432
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:27,480
‪隨便啦

433
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:30,760
‪我不生氣了，我不想懲罰這個世界

434
00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:34,000
‪我有過好生活，什麼都不缺

435
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:38,400
‪我討厭別人認為我可以再找到別人

436
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:40,440
‪好像我可以取代莉莎，我做不到

437
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:42,160
‪這點我可以接受

438
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:47,200
‪因為這會讓我跟她的時間更彌足珍貴

439
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:49,560
‪我現在有的一切歸功於她

440
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:53,680
‪她還清房貸、買了壽險

441
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,720
‪我有15萬英鎊還沒…

442
00:23:58,640 --> 00:23:59,720
‪我還沒去領

443
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:01,880
‪你有15萬英鎊？

444
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:04,360
‪對，我還沒兌現支票

445
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:07,080
‪因為我不想要那筆錢

446
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,120
‪因為

447
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:11,040
‪那筆錢的由來

448
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:14,600
‪東尼，拜託說你會去領

449
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:17,720
‪就算從保險公司那拿錢也好

450
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:21,240
‪可以去應門嗎？這樣我才不會吵醒狗

451
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:22,920
‪-什麼啦？
‪-快去

452
00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:30,280
‪-妳好嗎？
‪-嗨

453
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:32,840
‪是凱絲

454
00:24:37,120 --> 00:24:37,960
‪妳還好嗎？

455
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:40,280
‪-很好
‪-約會順利嗎？

456
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:45,680
‪我無法形容

457
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:47,640
‪他是怎樣的人？

458
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:50,000
‪絕對是爛人

459
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:54,760
‪我真以妳為榮，要喝酒嗎？

460
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:57,640
‪-好，麻煩你
‪-可以幫凱絲拿個杯子嗎？

461
00:24:58,160 --> 00:24:59,880
‪-什麼啦？
‪-別這樣，我沒辦法

462
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:02,280
‪注意態度

463
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:04,920
‪字幕翻譯：林佩孜